Dr. Emily Morse: Let's Talk About Sex!

Summary

Podcast Summary: Let's Talk Off Camera with Kelly Ripa Episode: Dr. Emily Morse: Let's Talk About Sex!
Host: Kelly Ripa
Release Date: July 23, 2025

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of "Let's Talk Off Camera with Kelly Ripa," host Kelly Ripa delves deep into the intricacies of human sexuality with renowned sex expert Dr. Emily Morse. The show promises unfiltered and candid discussions, and this episode is no exception as it tackles topics ranging from pornography and sex education to the nuances of communication in intimate relationships.

Setting the Stage

The episode kicks off with light-hearted banter among Kelly, Albert Bianchini, Jan Chalet, and Seth Fronquist, setting a relaxed and open atmosphere for the ensuing discussions. Albert introduces the main topic enthusiastically:

Albert Bianchini [02:05]: "What we’re talking about is sex. No question is too wild, too weird or too wonderful or too taboo or too anything."

Pornography and Sex Education

The conversation begins with Seth's question about the role of pornography in sexual relationships:

Seth Fronquist [04:03]: "Porn. Are there rules for porn? Like, what is the story about porn and sex and the use of it?"

Jan Chalet offers a balanced perspective:

Jan Chalet [04:55]: "Porn can be really titillating. If you're in a relationship, watch it together to find something new to turn you on. But when porn becomes a problem is when it's a requirement for you to get aroused or when young people get their hands on porn. Porn without sex education is a disaster."

Dr. Emily Morse echoes the importance of responsible consumption:

Jan Chalet [05:41]: "Porn without sex education is like learning to drive by watching 'Fast and the Furious.' That's just not effective."

The Importance of Communication in Sexual Relationships

Albert poses a critical question about communication between couples regarding their sex lives:

Albert Bianchini [06:11]: "How important is it for actual for couples to actually talk about sex?"

Jan emphasizes the pivotal role of open dialogue:

Jan Chalet [06:33]: "Communication is lubrication. The more couples talk about sex, the better sex they're going to have. Great sex is learned, and communication is the foreplay."

She introduces the concept of the "three T's" for effective communication:

1. Timing: Choose a relaxed moment, not when hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.
2. Tone: Adopt a curious and compassionate tone rather than accusatory.
3. Turf: Initiate conversations outside the bedroom, such as during a date night.

Understanding Multiple Orgasms and the Orgasm Gap

Seth raises a question about multiple orgasms:

Seth Fronquist [08:28]: "Females and males. Yes, more likely more common for women."

Dr. Emily Morse explains the physiological differences:

Jan Chalet [09:30]: "During penetration, only about 25 to 30% of women will have an orgasm. This indicates an orgasm gap where women typically require more time and different types of stimulation compared to men."

Addressing Changes in Bodies, Libido, and Menopause

Kelly Ripa shares her personal concerns about changes in her body and libido as she approaches her 50s:

Kelly Ripa [13:20]: "My body's changed, so things are just very different. So it'll just be interesting, you know, being."

Jan offers empowering advice:

Jan Chalet [14:16]: "Start with what makes yourself feel good. Maintain your own masturbation routine and self-love practices to stay comfortable in your body."

Kelly inquires about hormonal changes related to menopause:

Kelly Ripa [16:20]: "I didn't know if also, like, estrogen or if there's any, like, hormonal stuff that just kind of physically our bodies kind of... menopause is huge."

Jan explains the role of hormones in sexual health:

Jan Chalet [16:33]: "Loss of estrogen causes vaginal walls to thin and become less lubricated. Using vaginal estrogen and maintaining proper lubrication can significantly improve comfort and libido."

Callers' Questions

1. Danielle from New Jersey: Boosting Libido Post-Menopause

Danielle shares her journey navigating menopause-induced dryness and low libido:

Danielle [19:05]: "I was put on testosterone, and I am suddenly back. I am."

Dr. Morse commends her progress and encourages continued exploration of sexual health:

Dr. Emily Morse [19:55]: "I'm here for you, Danielle. I know it's going to happen."

2. Jerry from California: Navigating Spousal Desires

Jerry seeks advice on managing his wife's high sexual desire:

Jerry [27:14]: "Our sex life is kind of a little rocky and just not as exciting."

Jan suggests enhancing communication and mutual efforts:

Jan Chalet [54:27]: "Have a talk about what interests her and consider acts like mutual masturbation or introducing toys to rekindle excitement."

3. Lisa from Wisconsin: Dealing with Unwanted Anal Sex Pressure

Lisa expresses discomfort with her husband's insistence on anal sex:

Lisa [31:34]: "My husband wants anal sex, and I don't want to. I've never done that."

Jan advises setting clear boundaries and exploring alternative forms of intimacy:

Jan Chalet [32:54]: "Communicate your boundaries clearly and explore other avenues of pleasure that respect both partners' comfort levels."

4. Alicia from Pennsylvania: Enhancing Sexual Intimacy

Alicia seeks simple tips to improve her sex life:

Alicia [36:00]: "What are some simple things you could do to make sex better?"

Jan recommends incorporating variety and prioritizing foreplay:

Jan Chalet [38:04]: "Switch up settings, try new positions, change lighting or music, and focus on mutual touch without immediate pressure for penetration."

5. Christine from Long Island: Navigating the Three Date Rule

Christine questions the relevance of the traditional three-date rule in modern dating:

Christine [39:11]: "What is the current status on the three date rule?"

Jan emphasizes personal comfort over societal norms:

Jan Chalet [39:26]: "You get to make your own rules. Decide what feels good to you rather than following a set protocol."

6. Jeremiah from Port Washington: Revitalizing Marriage Post-Children

Jeremiah discusses the challenges of maintaining intimacy after having children:

Jeremiah [53:01]: "Our sex life is kind of rocky since having two kids."

Jan suggests practical steps to reduce stress and prioritize date nights:

Jan Chalet [55:16]: "Contribute more around the house to reduce her stress and prioritize date nights to reconnect emotionally and physically."

Exploring Erogenous Zones and Open Relationships

Erogenous Zones Beyond the G-Spot

Jan delves into the variety of erogenous zones:

Jan Chalet [45:05]: "There's the G-spot, the A-spot near the cervix, and the anal-prostate adjacent area. Exploring these can lead to blended orgasms and enhanced pleasure."

Open Relationships and Non-Monogamy

Seth brings up the topic of open relationships:

Seth Fronquist [46:48]: "My partner and I are in the minority that we're in a closed relationship, but so many of our friends are in open relationships."

Jan provides a nuanced view:

Jan Chalet [47:11]: "Consensual non-monogamy requires extensive communication and trust. It's not about chaos but about evolving the relationship to meet both partners' needs."

Additional Discussions

• Mutual Masturbation: Jan highlights it as a valuable tool for couples to understand each other's preferences without pressure.
• Hormonal Balance: Emphasis on the importance of a comprehensive hormone panel, including estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone, to address libido issues.
• Gender Perspectives: Discussion on how men and women perceive and experience sexual intimacy differently, especially regarding physiological responses and societal expectations.

Conclusion

The episode concludes with heartfelt thanks to Dr. Emily Morse for her invaluable insights and encouragement to explore and prioritize sexual health and communication within relationships. The hosts express their enthusiasm for future discussions, emphasizing the importance of continuing these open and honest conversations off-camera.

Notable Quotes

• Jan Chalet [06:33]: "Communication is lubrication. The more couples talk about sex, the better sex they're going to have."
• Danielle [19:05]: "I was put on testosterone, and I am suddenly back. I am."
• Jan Chalet [09:30]: "During penetration, only about 25 to 30% of women will have an orgasm. This indicates an orgasm gap."
• Jan Chalet [38:04]: "Switch up settings, try new positions, change lighting or music, and focus on mutual touch without immediate pressure for penetration."

Final Thoughts

This episode of "Let's Talk Off Camera with Kelly Ripa" serves as a comprehensive guide to understanding and enhancing one's sexual life through effective communication, exploration of desires, and addressing physiological changes. With Dr. Emily Morse’s expertise and the hosts' relatable approach, listeners are empowered to take charge of their sexual well-being and foster deeper connections with their partners.

Transcript

[Kelly Ripa]

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[Albert Bianchini]

Through [e-mail] there's no such thing as camera off for dogs. Let's talk about next level dog care. That means treating them with next level protection from parasites with nexguard Plus Afoxylonir, moxidectin and parental chewable tablets. Nexguard Chews provide one and done monthly protection against fleas, ticks, heartworm disease, roundworms and hookworms. Plus they come in a tasty beef flavored soft chew that's designed to be easy to give use with caution in dogs with a history of seizures or neurologic disorders. Dogs should be tested for existing heartworm infection prior to starting a preventive. So the next time you're at the vet, ask about nexgard plus Chews.

[Jan Chalet]

My dream is a lube on every nightstand. Like when I die. If they were like she got everyone to use lube, that would be amazing.

[Albert Bianchini]

Somebody got to cue me. Or do I cue myself? Cue yourself. Okay, we are fired up, everybody. Let's get it on.

[Jan Chalet]

Oh yeah.

[Albert Bianchini]

On today's episode of let's Talk off camera. We are talking. Say it with me.

[Jan Chalet]

Sex.

[Seth Fronquist]

Sex.

[Albert Bianchini]

Oh my gosh, guys, say it with a little gust of sex.

[Jan Chalet]

Sex.

[Albert Bianchini]

No question is too wild, too weird or too wonderful or too taboo or too anything. Insert answer here. See how I work the word insert in there. Jan, aren't you proud of me? Now when sex SiriusXM told me I was going to have the 5pm drive time hour on the radio. What did I say? Yeah, what did I say?

[Jan Chalet]

You said it had to be about sex.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah, I said we have to do an episode about sex. Because that is the drive time hour topic that I remember as a kid sitting in the car with my mom coming home from whatever activity that we were in. So if you have littles in the car, let them watch their iPads that they're already watching. Okay? Put their little headphones on and let them drift away. You know, I don't really advocate for tablets and devices in children's hands, but today we're going to make an exception. Okay? And maybe, just maybe, we'll get you a little turned on before you return home today and spice it up for Mr. Or Mrs. Or whatever's waiting at home for you. Okay, now, I'm not talking about myself as the expert here, Jen. Neither are you. You're not an expert, Albert. You are certainly no expert, and neither am I. But we do have an Expert. We have Dr. Emily Morse. She is here today. Oh, my gosh. She's an expert in human sexuality and the author of oh, it's such a good book. Smart sex, how to boost your sex IQ and own your pleasure. And she's not the only one with a podcast, Jan. She has her own podcast called why didn't we name our podcast this? Sex with Emily. That is a best selling podcast. Sex with Emily. She's here. She's going to tackle all of your burning questions and deepest curiosities about intimacy, desire, and yes, of course, sex. Emily, hello.

[Jan Chalet]

Hello.

[Albert Bianchini]

Welcome to the podcast.

[Jan Chalet]

Thanks for having me.

[Albert Bianchini]

Before we begin, I've got my trusty sidekicks here. I've got Albert, Jan and Seth. Do any of you have the courage to ask Emily a question?

[Seth Fronquist]

Sure.

[Albert Bianchini]

Okay, Albert.

[Kelly Ripa]

Wow.

[Jan Chalet]

Okay, let's go.

[Seth Fronquist]

Emily, I have a big question which a lot of people bring up all the time.

[Albert Bianchini]

How big?

[Seth Fronquist]

What about? And I'm going to go right for it. Porn. Are there rules for porn? Like, what is the story about porn and sex and the use of it?

[Jan Chalet]

Okay, great question. Common question. Here's the thing about porn. Everyone gets to make their own decision about porn. Now, porn can be really titillating. If you're in a relationship, watch it together. Find something new to turn you on. We. But when porn becomes a problem is when it's a requirement for you get aroused or when young people get their hands on porn. Like, isn't that how sex happens? There's going to be. They're going to bring three friends every time. You know why? Watching so. So porn without sex education is a disaster. But in a relationship, if it's consensual and you guys find something together you want to watch, I'm all for it.

[Albert Bianchini]

Does Kyle watch forward space as porn?

[Kelly Ripa]

Yes.

[Albert Bianchini]

Exercise?

[Seth Fronquist]

Yes.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah.

[Seth Fronquist]

But do you think it's a big problem for, like, the younger people who are on their devices all the time that I do? Because you can't. A regular relationship can never live up to that, right?

[Jan Chalet]

Yeah, I think, again, I think it is a problem. I think the changes I've seen in the 20 years since I've been doing sex with Emily Podcast. Is that porn phones. Since the smartphones, porn has been available in our pocket for about 15 years right now. And then the young kids who grew up on it are thinking, well, this is how sex happens, right? This must be sex, because I don't really, you know, so we're like, oh, it's great. There's so much information available. But again, porn without sex education and disaster. It's like learning to drive, but for watch by watching Fast and the Furious. Like, that's just.

[Albert Bianchini]

I was just gonna use almost that exact same scenario. I always say, like, porn without sex education is like watching King Kong and thinking, you know, something about apes.

[Jan Chalet]

You know what I mean?

[Albert Bianchini]

It's like, that is the same. It's like, no, that is not what. That is not what hap. That is not what intimacy looks like. Yeah, Jan. Okay, so I have a question. How important is it for actual for couples to actually talk about sex? Because, sorry, Glenn, we just don't do that.

[Jan Chalet]

So I'm just curious, like, what's the importance to it? Oh, God. It's the. It's probably. It's the most important thing you can do. I always say communication is a lubrication, and the more couples talk about sex, the better sex they're going to have. But couples don't talk about sex because they think it should be natural. Sex should always be wonderful. But great sex is learned and communication is the foreplay.

[Albert Bianchini]

So by communicate, do you mean, like, should it, like, as communication, do you mean a sit down, face to face, one on one discussion? Or. Or can Jan send Glenn a picture of her underpants at work and say.

[Jan Chalet]

Hey, see, that's different than talking about it, though.

[Albert Bianchini]

Oh, right. Okay, got it.

[Jan Chalet]

That's a little bit different.

[Albert Bianchini]

I want actual words.

[Jan Chalet]

I want words. You know, no one taught us how to talk about it because most of us grew up in homes where sex wasn't openly, openly discussed. So we carry a lot of shame, a lot of fear or embarrassment, and that goes into adulthood. Or we're afraid of rejection. We're like, if I bring up sex with my partner, what if I say the wrong thing? What if they judge me? What if I hurt their feelings? Or then we assume our partner should just know what I want. They should be a mind reader, right? You know, but again, great sex requires communication, not guesswork. And so we sit down with our partner and say, you know what? And this is again, I always say I have three T's for any communication about sex. Timing, turf, and tone. You got to pick a time when you are chilling. You're not halt. Hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. The tone is curious and compassionate. It's not like, why don't we ever. Why don't we ever have sex? Or how come you don't initiate anymore? And then finally, the. Is outside the bedroom, you want to do it. When you're on date night, you're going for a walk, and you say, you know what? I always say, blame me. Blame Kelly. Now, you were listening to a show, and you said, you know what? I realized we've been together for a long time, but we've never actually talked about our sex life in a way that, like, how's it going? Is there anything you want to try? What do you think about it? And then you do it in a casual, compassionate, curious way. And that's how we have the conversations by terth.

[Albert Bianchini]

I. I thought Emily meant do it on turf instead of yard.

[Jan Chalet]

Whatever turns you out. Wait, the phone lines are blowing up.

[Albert Bianchini]

I feel like. Wait, they're blowing up already.

[Jan Chalet]

I feel like we should take one.

[Albert Bianchini]

Does Seth have a question? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get in there.

[Jan Chalet]

Multiple orgasms.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

Females and male.

[Jan Chalet]

Yes. More likely more. More common for women. For females, it is. It is common. In fact, most women can have multiple orgasms. They just don't know it's possible or know how. So it's very common for women to learn skill. But we are ready. Our refractory period is a lot less than men. Men's a little bit harder, meaning the time it takes to go from one orgasm to the next orgasm. But, yes, it's possible for everybody.

[Albert Bianchini]

Also, I think it's the age of the man, too. It's Seth.

[Jan Chalet]

Yeah. Like in your 20s. Yeah, no problem.

[Albert Bianchini]

Exactly. So I'm, like, looking at Seth. I'm like, seth, are you asking for yourself? Because I'm very impressed right now.

[Jan Chalet]

Your friends were asking you questions about orgasms. Texting you?

[Albert Bianchini]

Yes. No. So I had a lot of friends who are now texting me questions because they don't want to be. As if people can identify them by their voices. They don't want to be identified. But I had a lot of people texting me the same question. What percentage of women orgasm during sex?

[Jan Chalet]

Yeah, great question. So during penetration, only about 30% of women, 25 to 30% of women will have an orgasm through penetration. And so that means 70% of women will not have an orgasm from anything to do with a penis. Sorry, guys. Has nothing to do with you or your shape, your penis. It just has to do with women need require foreplay and usually how they're going to have their orgasm is from a finger, a mouth, toys, and it's just not going to happen during sex. Part of that because it takes long.

[Albert Bianchini]

Women longer than men to orgasm.

[Jan Chalet]

Yeah, you know, it's because there's something called the orgasm gap. And women, men typically take about 10, 7 to 10 minutes to orgasm, and women can take from 20 to 40 minutes to orgasm. The orgasm is also exist because men are going to orgasm in about 99.9% of every sexual situation and women are not. So yes, it does take women a little bit longer. We require foreplay, but it's not even that. For some women, most of the magic happens with warming up their clitoris. They're playing with their vulva externally. So really for some women, they just prefer, they just won't be able to. But having an orgasm first can help. So through oral sex or any kind of clitoral stimulation and they have an orgasm once that area becomes aroused and internally it becomes more engorged. So they might be more like the blood rushes in and it might be more likely to have an orgasm through a penis. But again, for the majority of women, it's, it's just not going to happen that way. But there's many other ways to play.

[Albert Bianchini]

I had another, another question when you brought up oral sex. Another text question to me was, how do you teach your partner to perform? If you're a woman, how do you teach your partner to perform oral sex on you?

[Jan Chalet]

Yeah, that's. So you just want to show them what you, what you like. So what is a really fun thing to do? It's a little bit of show and tell. And so again, I love that you're asking this question because sometimes we don't, we don't want to even give any feedback because we think our partner's going to take it as criticism, like they're doing something wrong and they feel bad about themselves. But when you're sitting there together, you can say, let me show you the areas that, that feel. Let me show you how I like to be touched and in Fact tell you 1. A great precursor to that is mutual masturbation. It's one of my top tips for couples where you're lying side by side and you're both touching yourselves and you're. I love this because you're watching and you're thinking, oh, I didn't realize that when you're touching yourself, you put your finger inside or you massage your vulva in this way and then your partner's learning this is where our hot. Your hotspots are. This is how you want to be touched. So I think showing them and something like mutual masturbation is a really great, great way to show them what you like.

[Albert Bianchini]

Okay.

[Jan Chalet]

We.

[Albert Bianchini]

We have so many calls. Right. Like, it's blowing up in an insane way. We never take calls this early in the show, but we simply must. Okay, who's first? We've got Sam in Chicago. In Chicago. Sam in Chicago, you're on with Dr. Emily.

[Kelly Ripa]

Oh, wow. Hi. I'm excited to be talking to Kelly as well. This is crazy.

[Jan Chalet]

So.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah, so I guess so. I. I'm a single mom and I'm. My kids are at an age that I can finally kind of. I have a little bit more time to go out there and date. So it's just been so. It's been a while. And I'm also older now. I'm almost 50 and I just don't know how. And my body just feels like just attraction. Everything has kind of shifted and changed. So I just don't know, like women in their. In their early 50s like that just that change in life. Um, how. Yeah, I don't know if you have any tips, you know. Yeah, I feel like my body's changed, so things are just very different. So it'll just be interesting, you know, being.

[Jan Chalet]

No, I get it. Thank you for the question. You know, here's the thing. It does our bodies change every decade? Sometimes every every month, every week. We're always changing. Right?

[Albert Bianchini]

Every 10 minutes, literally.

[Jan Chalet]

It's true. So first I want to say that I love that you want to get back out there again, you know, and also, you know, the most important thing is to really start with what makes yourself feel good. So usually once we. I always say, like, we got to keep our own pilot light lit. So having your own masturbation routine and self love routine, and I'm wondering what that might feel like to you now just to make sure that you're comfortable in your own body, giving yourself an orgasm, taking a mirror and seeing what's going on down there. Because yes, our bodies do change, but it's still possible to. To give ourselves pleasure and to get more comfortable in our bodies. And so I would first. That would be my first step for you, is to kind of bring your own sexual energy. Ra. You know, rather than waiting for someone else to bring that to you. So is that something you'd be comfortable with to start?

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah, I mean, naturally. I've. Yeah, no, I've. I'm good in that, you Got it.

[Jan Chalet]

Okay, perfect.

[Albert Bianchini]

That's good.

[Jan Chalet]

So also, I think also the great thing about being older and being in your 50s is you actually do know your. Your, you know, even if it's changed, you still kind of know what you like. It's a great time of life. You've had enough years in this body. So I think it's more about just having the confidence to go out there and then have these convers, you know, I don't know you, but my 50s, I'm like, we don't put up with any more bullshit. We're not saying yes when we mean no. So really, just really having your eyes open and finding a partner who wants to please you, who's, you know, in it for pleasure, who knows that she comes first, who knows that, like, you know how to please you. And if they don't, you know, you get to show them. Right. I don't know about you. I spent a lot of time in my 20s just, you know, having sex that I thought was what my partner wanted, that was more performative. And these later decades have been about, you know, my own pleasure. And I'm telling you, that works every time.

[Albert Bianchini]

And also, wouldn't you agree, Dr. Emily, that for Sam, it's probably more in her head, like, Sam, trust me, when you say, like, my skin, my body, like, I so feel that. And I hear you like, I am. Like, I feel. I want you to know you are being heard. Yeah, but from my perspective, and knowing the adult men that I know who are straight, they. That is not a factor for them. Like, that is so not a factor, right?

[Jan Chalet]

No, Sam, that is the thing that they're really, to that point, I get it, that insecurity. They're going to be looking at this thing. They're going to be looking at this change in my body. It doesn't look like the way it used to. They are so happy to be having sex with you, and they're so thrilled and turned on. They are not looking at what we think they're looking at. They're like. There's so much time we spend in our day, right. Worried about, like, oh, my left boob is bigger than my right boob. They're. They're not noticing, like, they're turned on. They're excited to be having sex, and you are, know, hot commodity and they're hot woman, and they're excited to be with you. So it is. A lot of it is. Is in our heads. How great is that? Like, our worries are just remembering you are deserving of pleasure.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah, I didn't know if also, like, estrogen or if there's any, like, hormonal stuff that just kind of physically our bodies kind of. I don't know if you answer questions like, oh, yeah, menopause is huge.

[Jan Chalet]

Perimenopause. Menopause. I'm a huge fan of estrogen because the truth is we can have vaginal pain at this time, but it's simply because the loss estrogen causes our vaginal walls to. To thin out and we're a little less dry. So, number one, have a lube on your nightstand. Like, my dream is a lube on every nightstand. Like, when I die. If they were like, she got everyone to use lube, that would be amazing. And then also just know that, yes, vaginal estrogen, whether you have a history of breast cancer in your family, they have shown now after many, many years, that every woman will benefit from vaginal estrogen. So finding a good hormone doctor or your gynecologist to give you some vaginal estrogen so you have that safety of knowing there'll be enough lubrication. And. And that would be.

[Albert Bianchini]

I was going to add also to Sam, and you'll probably agree, Emily, that just having a hormone panel in general, because you probably need a combination of estrogen, progesterone, testosterone. I mean, probably.

[Jan Chalet]

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. That helps. That is the trio and getting a hormone panel. And the other great thing is there's all these clinics now that are online, like Midi Health or myallo. There's a lot of companies that you can find that.

[Kelly Ripa]

That.

[Jan Chalet]

What I love is that now they hormone panels help, but they're also just treating symptoms. So if you called and said, I'm a woman of this age and I've had some hot flashes or night sweats, they actually will say it's a combination of progesterone. Progesterone and estrogen. And in some cases, they'll throw in testosterone. And that is a magical trio for. For so many. Yeah.

[Albert Bianchini]

I hope you get out there and start dating.

[Jan Chalet]

Yeah.

[Kelly Ripa]

I love to say thank you. Thank you. How can you? You're amazing, Kelly. Take care.

[Albert Bianchini]

All right. Bye, Sam. Thanks. Okay, next we have Danielle from New Jersey. Danielle, you're on with Dr. Emily.

[Jan Chalet]

Hi, Dr. Emily.

[Danielle]

Hi, Kelly. Hi, Kelly. I met you on our birthday this year. We're the birthday New Jersey girls.

[Albert Bianchini]

Happy birthday. I was at your show around the corner. Around the corner.

[Danielle]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I celebrated my 54th with you because we were both 54 that day.

[Albert Bianchini]

Well, tell us your sex question for Dr. Emily.

[Danielle]

Okay, well, first I have a comment. Kelly, you changed my life. I have to tell you, I was on. I'm with my husband 38 years. I still desire him just the way you are with your husband. And we've always had a great sex life. And since my late 40s, I had, like, no will.

[Kelly Ripa]

I.

[Danielle]

It was dry. It was painful. I didn't want it. It was awful. And I felt horrible because I still desire him, and I wanted him to know that, but it was just awful. So then I hit menopause, and the doctor put me on progesterone and estrogen, and that helped greatly with the hot flashes. However, it did not help the libido at all. And you were talking to someone, it may have been doctor on your show. And you made one little comment, and you'd never even said why. You just said, testosterone changed my life. I heard that. And it was. It was like something clicked in my brain that, oh, my God, that's what. Men have testosterone, and they're horny as hell. So I went to a new gynecologist and I asked her about the testosterone, and she put me on it. And it.

[Jan Chalet]

I'm.

[Danielle]

I'm back. I am suddenly back.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

I'm 54.

[Jan Chalet]

I love that. Welcome back.

[Albert Bianchini]

That's why they call her horny Danielle from New Jersey.

[Danielle]

Well, since that day that I was put on it, my husband touches me. It's like the floodgates open, and here I am.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah, I hope you know, I hope Sam from Chicago is listening to this.

[Jan Chalet]

I know, right?

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah. I hope Sam is still listening. Danielle, do you have any other questions for Dr. Emily?

[Danielle]

I do. I do. So in my early 40s, I did hit my. I guess my peak, and I was having multiple orgasms through, you know, oral sex with hands and all. And now that has stopped, and I want to know how I get that part back.

[Jan Chalet]

Okay, well, have you. What has changed? So you have the hormones and you haven't seen a difference Right then. And how are you having those. Those or multiple orgasms? Was it through penetration? Were you one of the lucky ones, or was it through oral? Well, tell me about it.

[Danielle]

I can reach it. I can reach it through vaginal. However, I know you have to get past that sensation that you feel like you're going to urinate. But I can't. It gets to me. So instead, I'm better off with just oral, with. With hands.

[Jan Chalet]

Okay, so what you're saying is, do you have the first orgasm now, but you just can't get to the Second one.

[Danielle]

Right.

[Jan Chalet]

Okay. Well, a great way to do it is, first off, here's the thing about sex, which I love so much of it, is we get in our head. You're thinking, well, it used to happen. It's so at one time now, maybe perhaps you didn't have that second one or third one. And now you're like, is my new condition. And what I would invite you is after you have the first, just to stop for a second and breathe and breathe into your body and move that energy through your pelvic floor. Just imagine it going down there and bringing it back up and like staying in your arousal. Because that's what's so much about having the multiple orgasms, is staying with that energy and that, like, liminal space. And then just knowing that it's, it's, you know, it is possible for it to happen again. And whether you have to bring in a toy, I'm a huge fan of toys. A little bit vibration to get you going or your own hands and even practicing on your own, I think you're going to see that it didn't go away. It's not that it's not possible, but who knows? Maybe why it's. I mean, I don't know also. So that's one thing I would just say, know that it's possible again, like, I'm here for you, Danielle. I know it's going to happen. And then also exploring. Has anything changed? Have you started new medications? A lot of times people go on, you know, an antidepressant or anxiety medication, and that could really impact our ability to have orgasms.

[Albert Bianchini]

All right, Danielle, thank you so much for the call. We have to take a commercial break. We'll be back with Dr. Emily Morse. We'll take a break right now. How annoying is it when you come back from the store, aa batteries in hand, ready to sit down and watch your favorite show just to realize your TV remote control only takes AAA batteries and you're all out. Of course you are. Who buys those? Well, did you know Walmart has express delivery? It's a total game changer for those need it now moments. And let's be honest, those want it now moments, too. Walmart Express delivery gets your order to you in as fast as an hour. And it's not just groceries. We're talking everyday essentials when you need them the most. Baby wipes. Check. Pet food. Got it. Cereal for the kids. Breakfast. Yep. Birthday candles you forgot to grab at the store. Covered. Oh, and one of the best parts about Walmart Express delivery is it's so convenient. You can handle everything straight from the app. It's quick, easy and saves you time for, well, everything else going on in your busy life. Try Express delivery today and get free delivery with promo code Express. That's code Express promotion. Valid for First Express delivery. Order $50 minimum. Subject to availability restrict. Apply from campfires to lunch boxes. I have sweet memories every time I eat a Hershey's bar. And for me, Hershey's with almonds is a perfect duo because it combines two of my favorites, delicious rich chocolate and my go to snack almonds. It was love at first bite. Hershey's Milk chocolate with whole almonds makes for a wholly amazing, wholly delicious experience that's, well, holy Hershey's. Everyone should get to experience the satisfying surprise of a whole almond tucked inside creamy Hershey's chocolate. And if you've already tasted Hershey's milk chocolate with whole almonds, then chances are you're already a lifelong fan of this confectionary delight. Because let's face it, everything's better when you put your whole self into it. Why should an almond chocolate bar be any different? Shop for Hershey's Milk chocolate with whole almonds now at a store near you found. Wherever candy is sold.

[Jan Chalet]

Keep that in.

[Albert Bianchini]

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[Jan Chalet]

We have Jerry from California on the line.

[Albert Bianchini]

Jerry from California. Jerry from California, you're on with Dr. Emily.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

Hey, actually, it's Jerry from New York. I mean, I'm in New York right now, actually. First time caller, second time guest. I was a guest.

[Jan Chalet]

Hi, Jerry.

[Albert Bianchini]

Hi, Jerry o'. Connell. Guys, Jerry o', Connell, we have a celebrity calling in with a sex question for Dr. Emily.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

Go ahead, Dr. Emily. Thanks. By the way, this is really the phone line supposed to be going off the hook because I had to call the second when I have a rule whenever I hear the term mutual masturbation on a Radio show.

[Jan Chalet]

Welcome.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

My question has nothing to do with mutual masturbation. My spouse and I are in our very early 50s. Very, very early 50s. And it's so funny. My wife just wants sex all the time. My wife wants sex continually. And I'm not able. I'm not able to give it to her all that she wants. Isn't that true, honey? No, you can't curse. You can't curse.

[Albert Bianchini]

No, she can't curse. Hi, Rebecca.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

Actually, a question we have. I don't know. Our kids are about to leave the house. Is there anything we can do once the kids. Because they're getting ready to, like, get out of high school and stuff. Is there anything we should do to maybe spice up our lives when they're out of the house?

[Jan Chalet]

Yes. Well, congratulations on that. So it's a whole new world. Absolutely. Okay. Well, the first thing is. I'm gonna say it again. Communication is lubrication. I know you guys have been together a long time, but have you had any of the sex talks where you actually, you know, talk about maybe some fantasies, some things? You want to try a little review of the past? What have we loved in the past? What could our future sex life look like? And I gotta say, one thing that couples love. I have this thing Jerry called a yes, no, maybe list. It's a free guide. You can download it probably almost a million times now from my website. In 20 years, it's sex with emily.com, yes, no, maybe list. So the yes, no, maybe list has about a hundred different sex acts. This is your next date night. Okay? And it has, like, you know, I'll start miles. Like, kissing. Is it a yes? Is it a no? Is it a maybe? It's a little quiz you both take. Talking dirty. Yes, no, maybe. What? You can imagine all the things on the list, and then you come together and you compare. Like, I didn't know you wanted me to tie you up. You know, and it's a really fun foreplay, date night activity.

[Kelly Ripa]

This is a quick rundown. Will you just give us a list right now? We'll just quickly answer.

[Jan Chalet]

Okay.

[Albert Bianchini]

Ready?

[Jan Chalet]

Okay.

[Albert Bianchini]

Anal.

[Jan Chalet]

Yes. No, maybe.

[Kelly Ripa]

Oh, no.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

No anal. No. No.

[Albert Bianchini]

What do you mean, no anal? Jerry.

[Jan Chalet]

Receiving or giving? Jerry.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

No butt stuff. Never butt stuff.

[Kelly Ripa]

Actually, no, I don't like anal either.

[Jan Chalet]

Let's start. Okay, good.

[Kelly Ripa]

We'll just quickly answer.

[Jan Chalet]

Yes.

[Kelly Ripa]

No.

[Jan Chalet]

Okay, Dirty talk.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

Dirty talk.

[Jan Chalet]

Yeah.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yes.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

Bad girl, Rebecca. You're bad girl. Look at this lady of the night that I'm running into here in Calabasas. I see you on the streets, flaunting your wares. Yeah, I'll buy it. $100.

[Kelly Ripa]

Room for improvement. Next question.

[Jan Chalet]

Role play.

[Kelly Ripa]

Oh, yeah.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

Hello, my lady. I am a knight in Southern California. I'm here to save the princess from the evil dragon and have anal sex with you.

[Jan Chalet]

I'm a female pirate. We lost her anal there. I'm trying. Okay. Sex toys.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

Yes.

[Kelly Ripa]

That's a quick yes.

[Jan Chalet]

Oh, wow, this is great.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yes. For Rebecca and really for Jerry.

[Jan Chalet]

Okay, let's see, what else?

[Dr. Emily Morse]

What are we talking here?

[Kelly Ripa]

No, Jerry sees them laying around because I just leave them laying.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

What kind of set of toys? Like. Like shoots, ladders. What kind of toys?

[Kelly Ripa]

Jerry doesn't know anything about them. He doesn't even recognize them when I leave him laying around.

[Albert Bianchini]

He thinks they're objet dart. Yes.

[Kelly Ripa]

He thinks they're dog toys.

[Jan Chalet]

I've had many cases of dogs eating toys. This happens. Okay. How about taking a bath together?

[Kelly Ripa]

Oh, yeah, we do that. We've been doing that since day one.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

We do that. Yeah.

[Jan Chalet]

Okay. Love it. Tying each other up.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah, that's what happened.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

Tying each other up.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yes.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

Remember in Mexico, it was a joke. We jokingly.

[Kelly Ripa]

It was so fun. Yes, we've done that.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

We jokingly did it. But Rebecca left me there for two days. It was really unfunny because I was like, opposite.

[Kelly Ripa]

Jerry left me tied up for so.

[Danielle]

Long, and he kept just staring out.

[Kelly Ripa]

At the view and laughing his, like, maniacally. It was very. But I liked it.

[Seth Fronquist]

Two extra nights at Las Ventanas.

[Jan Chalet]

Not a bad way to go, right? Let's see, what else? Okay, more. What do we got here? We've got a.

[Albert Bianchini]

You know what? Jerry. Jerry and Rebecca, I'm going to leave you guys on the line because we have a bona fide sex question from Lisa from Wisconsin. Will you stay on the line, you two? All right, Emily, we have Lisa from Wisconsin. Hi, you're on with Dr. Emily.

[Jan Chalet]

Hey, Lisa. Hi.

[Kelly Ripa]

Thank you for taking my call. I have an issue with my husband wanting anal sex, and I don't want to. I've never done that. And he very much is in favor of that. And I'm not really sure how to. Don't think you can really compromise that.

[Jan Chalet]

Okay, so you're. You're a hard. No. Yeah. Has it anything that you've ever tried before? Yes, and he just didn't. Okay. And if you.

[Kelly Ripa]

But. But for the record, he's Greek.

[Jan Chalet]

Okay.

[Kelly Ripa]

So maybe it's true. They have a reputation for that. Being one of those people.

[Jan Chalet]

I don't Know if there's anything too across the board. But I think I'm picking up what you're putting down and so I want to make. Is there. Have you ever explored. Because people think anal sex has to mean one thing. I'm just curious. Have you ever explored anything like a finger or Amel, like just not going full on. But yeah.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah. Not only my thing and I had a C, I'd C section. So I'm good to go. I'm.

[Jan Chalet]

You got something.

[Kelly Ripa]

I mean, I'm sorry nothing's changed down there.

[Jan Chalet]

This is. Okay. It's just not your thing. And he keep. And he's persistent. Yeah. Is what I'm hearing.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah. It's like, you know, extremely much the same as always was good to go.

[Jan Chalet]

So.

[Kelly Ripa]

But I just. He doesn't drop it and I'm just like, well, you know what? Let me do it to you and then we'll talk.

[Albert Bianchini]

Talk.

[Jan Chalet]

Right. Ask him what his takes are on it. You know what I mean? I mean there's so much misunderstanding here, but men have a prostate and they can feel amazing when pennant. They just don't know it. Right. Like a lot of straight guys are like, oh no, that's just for exiting. I'm like, but have you tried it? So I actually love that school thought you're onto something. The second thing would be to turn it to him. Say, you know what? I hear there's so much passion behind us trying anal sex together. Could you tell me more about that? Like what. What is it about it that that gets you. You turned on, you know, and so. So then you could say. He could say, oh, I just think it's something new. It's something that we've never done before. Well, then we have more information. Right. And then you could say, well, what else could we try? Cut to the yes, no, maybe list perhaps and saying like, you know, maybe there's something else fun we could try. But I think Albert's got it. Albert's got a question for you too here.

[Seth Fronquist]

I mean, so I understand there's a benefit with anal sex with a man because there's the prostate and like you said, there's an actual reason why people enjoy it. But with women, what's the. Is there anything.

[Jan Chalet]

It's a great question. So I think, well, the thing is there are some really sensitive nerve endings and there's an in the. When you have penetration into the anus for a woman, it's actually could be indirect stimulation to the clitoris. There's thin membrane that's separating it separating the two areas. So for some women, it's sort of bumping up against their, their, their, their G spot spot, essentially. And so that can feel great. And also just even externally around the sphincter muscles, there's also some nerve endings, so, and also there's the taboo around it. There's a lot of things that could be really a turn on if you go slow, use lots of lube. The problem with anal is that for many women, they had it and it just didn't feel great. It was done without lube. It was kind of forced upon them in a way that like, oh, this is how you do it. Because that's how I saw it in porn. And it actually doesn't feel that good. So that's why I suggested starting with fingers or a mouth. Because sometimes when we go slow and we breathe and we have all the time in the world, might find that, oh, actually it does feel pretty good.

[Albert Bianchini]

And I'm thinking, Lisa, you know, maybe with your husband it's the thrill of the hunt. I, I mean, there is something to that. Men are like explorers in that way. And maybe it's just, I, I mean, I, I, I don't, I don't know what else to say besides that. That was the, that was the end of my thoughts. Guys are upset just because it's so much tighter. Is that the whole, I know, the whole thing, right?

[Jan Chalet]

Yeah, it's tighter. It's different. It's taboo, it's different. But no, to Kelly's point, that's why it's interesting to say, hey, what is it about it? Because it might just be, well, we've never done that before. We've done everything else. You're like, have we? And then we give him the yes, no, maybe list. Or then we think of other ways that he could have that same kind of thrill and newness. Because there's a lot of different ways to play then besides anal. If he is seeking that sort of something new and different. In taboo, have sex outdoors. You could role play. You could do a lot of different things to get the same effect of what he might think he wants from anal. But if it's a no go for you, it's a no. It's, it's close. Knows end of story, doesn't need to happen.

[Albert Bianchini]

All right, Lisa.

[Jan Chalet]

Thanks, Lisa.

[Albert Bianchini]

Okay, we have, we have Alicia from Pennsylvania on Alicia. Hi, you're on with Dr. Emily.

[Jan Chalet]

Hi, Alicia.

[Kelly Ripa]

So happy to be out with you guys.

[Jan Chalet]

I love you.

[Kelly Ripa]

Kelly and Emily, I wanted to ask a question about what are Some simple things you could do to make sex better. Like, I'm in my late 40s and I. I just looking for some little.

[Danielle]

Hacks, make it better.

[Albert Bianchini]

Okay. You on the treadmill right now?

[Jan Chalet]

Are you having sex right now?

[Kelly Ripa]

I'm riding my peloton.

[Jan Chalet]

You heard it.

[Albert Bianchini]

A woman after my own heart.

[Jan Chalet]

I know, right? Some ways she's multitasking. Some ways to. Some ways to make it great. I mean, are you in a relationship right now? Are you married?

[Kelly Ripa]

Yes, I'm married.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yes.

[Kelly Ripa]

We have three children. Yes.

[Jan Chalet]

Okay, so you got your hands full there. I think, you know, one of the big things is we crave variety. Right. You're having sex with the same person in the same bedroom, looking at the same ceiling, maybe the same pile of laundry and me. This happens over time and we come a little bit bored of that. So switching it up in the smallest ways, we think that the sex has to be a huge different thing. But it could be a different room, a new position, even just changing the lighting or the music or a new playlist or you're doing in the living room instead of the bedroom. You know, novelty is going to trigger that. That reward center in your brain, and that can also help your libido. So that's one. That's one way to mix it up. It's just literally just thinking, what can we do? It could be a new bottle of lube, something like that. Creating. I love creating like a. A no tech touch zone where like you turn your phones off and you spend 15 minutes a night just sort of touching each other in different ways that you never have one person get to touch and receive and then the other person gets to receive. And it doesn't go further than touch. You're not bringing in penetration, you're not bringing anything else. And this is how we get back to that early stage of discovery and, you know, the physical sensation without the pressure to move into sex. Because I feel like that's what happens. Why sex gets so rote for many people is because it always looks the same. So I love sort of discovering each other's bodies again.

[Albert Bianchini]

And there's not enough foreplay. Is that right? Like, there's just not enough.

[Jan Chalet]

There's not enough foreplay. No. Especially when you got kids and you're busy and you've been with someone a long time, you're like, let's get it over with and you move on to the next. And so I think especially for. For women, but, you know, for all of us, we do crave that intimacy and that Connection and that building up again for the arousal. So sometimes I tell couples take the pressure of penetration off the table and just kiss again. Just have a night of just making out. Right. Making out for five minutes and like that's all you can do tonight. Or maybe it's stealing a morning kiss when the day gets going so you're sort of, I always used to say, like foreplay all day. Right. Or foreplay starts after the last orgasm. So what can you do to keep your pilot light slit and to keep that arousal flowing throughout the day?

[Kelly Ripa]

That's really helpful. Thank you both so much.

[Albert Bianchini]

You're both, you're so welcome for everyone. Alicia, thanks so much and enjoy the rest of your peloton ride. We've got Christine from Long island who's on now. Christine, what's your question for Dr. Emily?

[Jan Chalet]

Hi.

[Kelly Ripa]

Question for you guys. What is the current status on the three date rule? If you're back new in the dating.

[Jan Chalet]

Scene, the 3D rule, you referring to the rule that you wait three dates to have to have sex?

[Kelly Ripa]

Yes. And if you're very nervous about doing that with someone new, like, it's, it's hard after a long time to go back in and figure out what the expectations are at this point.

[Albert Bianchini]

Point.

[Jan Chalet]

You know what, here's what I say. I say you get to make your own rules. I'm never one who's like, here's the rule. And you got to follow this protocol. I've never been that person. I think you get to decide what feels good to you. So how many dates feel, feel good to you?

[Kelly Ripa]

You know, it's like you have to figure it out, like if you have a connection with the person. But I do feel that there is an expectation that, you know, okay, if you don't want to kiss on the first date, fine. But second date, you are a kiss is expected. And then the third date, it's like, I'm nervous to jump back in in that pool. And that's like historically been the three date rule.

[Jan Chalet]

Yeah. I think it's all about listening to yourself and what feels good to you. And a lot of it is about because, you know, we often think like, what do they want? Or what are they expecting? But once we go, huh, what does my body actually want? Do I feel safe with this person? Am I turned on with this person? Do I just want to make out with them and see how that goes for a few dates? I think we often put so much pressure on our, like, the sex has to happen or they're going to not be with me or there was an expectation. And I say if someone has any expectations around you and you're feeling like you have to do it, you know, to sort of perform or fulfill their needs and maybe it's not your person. So I always say back to like, what do you actually want? And I say if you want to have sex earlier than that or later than that, it's all okay.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah. And Christine, Christine, if you're with somebody and you find him super hot and you're super into him, him, I think that will be your guide, right?

[Jan Chalet]

Yeah, 100%.

[Kelly Ripa]

Thank you, guys. It's, it's tough out there. So I appreciate this advice.

[Jan Chalet]

I know it is.

[Albert Bianchini]

We're with you, Christine.

[Jan Chalet]

It's not fun. I'm telling you, it's tough. But just keep doing you really listen to what you need.

[Albert Bianchini]

Great advice, doctor.

[Jan Chalet]

Thanks, Christine.

[Albert Bianchini]

Thanks for calling, Christine. All right, we've got to take another commercial break. I know callers. We're trying. We are trying to dying. We'll be back with more Dr. Emily Moore. Stick around. Okay, quick gut check. Literally, if you're dealing with tummy trouble and bloating, this is for you. We're told to go plant powered and stick with what's backed by science, not hype. Atranteal is both. Atranteal is a supplement developed by gastroenterologists to actively prevent bloating. Where it begins begins with a patented blend of polyphenols. It's the only product with quebracho Colorado, a proven polyphenol that relieves bloating. Together, they help stop the gas producing bacteria in your gut. 88% of patients found relief in clinical trials. That's serious proof. If your gut's not happy, you're not happy. Head over to atrantal.com that's atrantial spelled a T R a N T I n. Use code off camera for 15% off your first order. With free shipping and a money back guarantee, you can trust your gut. Atranteal real relief backed by research. If you know anything about me, it's that I love to do laundry. It just gives me such satisfaction. But did you also know that skincare can start in the laundry room? The first step of a sensitive skincare routine is choosing the right laundry detergent. All free Clear is the number one detergent brand recommended by dermatologists for sensitive skin. Allfree Clear is 100% free of dyes and fragrance allergens. It provides an effective clean that's gentle on the skin while removing impurities like dirt. And body oil that can irritate your skin. It's made with eight carefully selected ingredients to fight stains and be gentle on skin. How great is that? Allfreeclear has been a game changer for me. It leaves my clothes feeling fresh and my skin feeling happy. Happy. I especially love that it doesn't give my laundry a strong artificial odor like some other brands. You know what I mean? For an effective skin friendly clean wash with all free clear, Thrive Cosmetics makes vegan and cruelty free products you can depend on for everything from daily wear to show stopping self expression like their Liquid Eyelash Extension mascara and their brilliant eye brightener which I'm loving. But here's the greatest part. This company is bigger than beauty. Thrive Cosmetics have donated over $150 million worth of products and cash funds over to 600 giving partners across the U.S. their donations support eight major causes including those affected by cancer, homelessness, domestic abuse and more. So while I really like their products, it also really feels good to know that my purchases are supporting others. Try your new Trustee Favorites with an exclusive set for our listeners. New customers can get the Liquid Eyel Extensions mascara and a mini size Brilliant eye brightener at a special set price with free [e-mail] off camera that's Thrive Cosmetics. C A U S e m e t-I c s.com off camera we are back. That's right back with more sex talk with the host of the podcast podcast sex with Emily, Dr. Emily Morse. You're. You've given us such great insight. It's been very, very informative. Jan, what say you? You had something on your mind?

[Jan Chalet]

Yeah, I was asking.

[Albert Bianchini]

I know there's obviously the G spot, but are there other spots or something?

[Jan Chalet]

Yes, there are so many spots everybody. So here's the thing. So we have the G spot. So the G spot we know and there was all these debates like what is there actually? Is the G spot real? Yes, it is real. But there's also an A spot which is back than the G spot and that's on the deep front vaginal wall and this is near the cervix. So you can stimulate it with like curved toys and that can lead to like longer lasting orgasms. There's also the, we know about the clitoral orgasm and there's like an anal prostate adjacent orgasm. So some women like they could have orgasms through anal, through anal sex. Because if you it's sort of stimulation around or inside of the anus, especially when combined with clitoral, women can have A have a blended orgasm. So that can, that can, that can be really fun for women to have a blended one. There's also the blended between the clitoral orgasm and the G spot. Now, my take is that all these areas are sort of combined, that they're just internal, internal clitoral nerves and that we have so many nerve endings that we haven't quite explored. We had a lot of research into male sexual organs, but not necessarily female sexual pleasure. And so there's just a lot of ways to play as long as we breathe and go slow and give ourselves time to explore. For many of us, we haven't even, you know, scratched the surface of what's possible.

[Albert Bianchini]

Jan is so competitive, she's going to find the entire Alphabet of spots inside of her body tonight. Tomorrow we're going to hear the full Alphabet come out of.

[Jan Chalet]

Oh, I'm tuning in. Don't worry, Jen.

[Albert Bianchini]

For sure. Albert.

[Seth Fronquist]

Go ahead, Emily. Open relationships.

[Jan Chalet]

Yeah. Okay.

[Seth Fronquist]

I would say my partner and I are in the minority that we're in a closed relationship, but so many of our friends. Friends are in open relationships. And I find. I find it to be very dangerous. And I also. But yet I understand why it works because I think after, you know, biologically, after a certain amount of time, you're no longer attracted to the other person. It's all societal. But like, what's your. What's your.

[Jan Chalet]

I mean, here's my thing about it. And it definitely. I love that we're all talking about it more these days, you know, for sure. And it's not for everybody. I mean, here's what I have to say. For many people, we know those people, monogamy just doesn't work for them. For whatever reason, they're like, oh, we stick thinking about being with somebody else and it doesn't work. So it's just great to know that it's actually okay to choose conceptual non monogamy, if that works for you. And, and it's kind of. It is becoming more mainstream. And I think more couples are talking about this. And it doesn't mean that monogamy is bad. It just means that we're getting curious about other ways to play. And really, the thing about non monogamy, people are thinking, oh, my God, it means that you're just having sex all the time. It's just an excuse to be banging a bunch of people. But really it's more about communication than it is about chaos. And it really only works with the couples where you have agreements, a lot of trust, and a whole Lot of talking. So in my mind, and I've seen this before, this is where it doesn't work. Well, we're really bored with ourselves. Our sex life is kind of down the tubes. Let's have a. Let's open it up to spice it up and fix the relationship that never works. It has to come from a clear place of, you know, we've been together a long time, we trust each other, and we're both really curious what it would like to be someone else. And we know that we are in a, you know, a safe place. And this could actually be an evolution of our sex life. So it's really for the couples who are realizing that one person can't fulfill all of our needs. So it could mean emotional openness. It could be, you know, more flirty energy with somebody else or just a shared fantasy. Like, my partner would be like, I do not want to tie you up, Emily. I will never tie you up. I'm like, okay, well, I found this person who will do that, right? So there's, there's a lot of different ways to, to, to work on that in a relationship. If you. And there's something called conversion, which is a word that I just love. Not as commonly known, but couples who succeed in consensual non monogamy are couples who. Conversion. Actually, you're getting pleasure. You actually get deep pleasure from knowing that your partner's having pleasure. Like. Yeah.

[Albert Bianchini]

So that is writing down the word conversion, right, Emily?

[Seth Fronquist]

Like, so of, of successful couples that have done it, what are the rules that you think make the most sense?

[Jan Chalet]

You know, here's the great thing is that couple, I think the rules are it's different couple. I find so many couples spend a lot of time drafting their rules, and then again they come back and they revisit them. Okay, well, at first I thought I wanted to know everything. For example, like, you have to tell me everything. And then they realize, you know what? I don't need to know all the details. So that's one thing couples say, like, I want to know everything. It can't be with anybody. We know it has to be only when we're traveling. There can't be a sleepover. I don't want, you know, I don't want it to be with someone that you see twice. Right. It has to be just a one off thing. You have to always use protection. You know, there's just a lot of things you can never kiss.

[Albert Bianchini]

The ground rules have to be really laid out also very much. You need to be. I read this article, maybe you wrote it, Dr. Emily. I'm not sure. It was for New York magazine. It was a couple of years ago. And these non monogamous, you know, consensual, non monogamy couples, their schedules are so intense. I don't know how these people actually work and live in the universe because just the way their schedules break up and who's taking the house and who's going outside of the house and who. It is like a schedule. I, I, I, it's, it's like a marvel to conceptualize. I don't know how they do it. I got exhausted reading.

[Jan Chalet]

I've seen some of those people. I've had some couples on my show. Like, we have a Google shared calendar. And it was like the most insane thing I've ever seen. And then they share it with like 11 other people. I mean, I'm lucky if I could just get myself out the door, right? Like you're like, oh, my God, I got a schedule I want to have sex with. But yeah, it's a lot of. It's a lot of talking. People think it's a lot of having sex. Text. It's really just a lot of communication. A lot of, like what?

[Albert Bianchini]

It's a lot of showing each other your shared documents.

[Jan Chalet]

Yeah, exactly. It's a lot of Google shares. You know, it's a lot of.

[Albert Bianchini]

So, Emily, we have Tommy in New York. Tommy, you're on with Dr. Emily. What's your question?

[Jan Chalet]

Hi, Tommy.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

Hi.

[Jan Chalet]

Hi. Hello.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

Hi.

[Albert Bianchini]

Hello.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

What's up?

[Jan Chalet]

Tommy?

[Dr. Emily Morse]

This is Rikali. Hi.

[Albert Bianchini]

Hi.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

Hi. This is Kelly here.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah, I'm here.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

Okay, Good, good, good.

[Jan Chalet]

So that's messages for Kelly.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

She grew up in the 70s and she remembers driving old cars. She had a Cadillac.

[Kelly Ripa]

She had a. I'm here.

[Albert Bianchini]

You're talking to me. You're talking to me.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

Oh, okay. Great. Do you remember having to rev up the engine a lot?

[Albert Bianchini]

Rev up the engine? Is this like a portal? Question. I'm not following, Tommy.

[Jan Chalet]

It is. It is.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

It is.

[Albert Bianchini]

All right, Tommy, do you have a question for Dr. Emily? If not, we're going to pull the picture plug.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

No, don't pull the club. Do you know that that's a part of a foot fetish? That's why.

[Albert Bianchini]

Oh, God. He's a foot fetish guy, Tommy.

[Jan Chalet]

Yes, A lot of guys are a lot of.

[Albert Bianchini]

No, I know.

[Jan Chalet]

What do you think?

[Albert Bianchini]

What do you think of coming.

[Jan Chalet]

Hey, listen, it's probably one of the most, you know, common fetishes, right? So, so good. I think if you have a Foot fetish, and you communicate it clearly with your partners, and you don't have shame or trauma or embarrassment around it. It's a good way to go, you know, Emily turned you on.

[Albert Bianchini]

Emily, I've been cursed with a Perfect rating on WikiFeet, and so I'm not. We've got another caller, Kelly B. In New York City. Kelly B. You're on with Dr. Emily. What's your question? Hey, Kelly.

[Seth Fronquist]

Is she on?

[Albert Bianchini]

Kelly B, are you on? Okay, did we lose Kelly B. Maybe. Oh, that's too bad.

[Jan Chalet]

What about.

[Albert Bianchini]

We have Jeremiah in Port Washington. Let's go to Jeremiah. Jeremiah in Port Washington, you're on. Hi.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

Hey. Dr. Emily and Kelly go really nice talking. Thanks for answering my call.

[Kelly Ripa]

Of course.

[Albert Bianchini]

What's your question?

[Dr. Emily Morse]

My question was me and my wife have been married for about 10 years and we have two children. And I would say since first child, who is seven years old, our sex life is kind of a little rocky and just not as exciting. Do you have any advice for kind of how to spice it up or, you know, get us back into a place where we kind of are excited about doing it? I mean, obviously we're. We both love each other and we're, you know, there's still a level of attraction there, but it's just. We just don't have the motivation after, you know, two kids and a lot of stress every day.

[Jan Chalet]

I love that you brought this up, Jeremiah. Thanks for this. Because honestly, we got to normalize the fact that when you have two kids, young kids, and you've just given. You've given birth and you got a baby and your whole body changes and you've got a lot of responsibility, a lot going on. Sometimes our sex life is always. That's the normal. That's. Let's normalize the fact that, yeah, it's going to be harder to prioritize sex and things are going to change. So I'm wondering, Jeremiah, have you talked to your wife about what, what might be interesting to her? It might be a foot rob or something like, who knows, help. Some help around the house or something like that to get, get her. To get her going in. Have you guys had a talk about it? Yeah.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

She's definitely said if I help clean up around the house, she would be more excited that that's, That's. Well, ironically, that's the opposite of my fetish, but.

[Jan Chalet]

Right. Yeah. You know, but here's the thing. It's. I don't want to. I know. It's a joke. Right. The hottest thing is like you vacuuming. But the truth is we. We really like. There's so much stress and pressure. And the way our women's arousal works is really men's right. We have something called responsive desire instead of spontaneous. Like, you probably see your wife and you're like, oh my God, I'm ready to go. And she. You walk in the room and she's like, I'm finishing the laundry here, changing a diaper. And so knowing that you are contributing and vacuuming and emptying the dishwasher and doing things around house might actually be the thing that calms her nervous system so she can actually even start thinking about having room to have sex again, to want to have sex again. So I would get out that. That wet mop tonight, see how that goes. And. And also date night. Gotta prioritize. Date night.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. A little. A little bit of conscientiousness on your part goes the longest way. Because I get it. Trust me. You guys are in it right now. You've got young kids. You are in it. But any little act of helping, help. Helping out and doing some of that. The lifting around the house. Else will really. Yeah. We. It's called chore play. It's beyond shore play. Really turns a woman on. So I hope that was helpful, Jeremiah.

[Jan Chalet]

Thanks, Jeremiah.

[Dr. Emily Morse]

Thank you.

[Jan Chalet]

Yeah. And don't forget, I was short play. I've never heard that before. I'm obsessed. Is that also. It's. It's really. Date night is like. So people like, oh, date night. No, it actually works. Couples who. There's been so many studies that have shown if you prioritize drama one night for you guys where it is a non negotiable, you get a babysitter, you turn off the phones, you leave the house. That will do wonders for your relationship because then it's giving you space and time out of the home.

[Albert Bianchini]

Totally agree. I've got to tell you, this was so fun. We need to do more with Dr. Emily. I know you have your own podcast, but you have to do our podcast.

[Jan Chalet]

I love it. No, this is a blast.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah, it was really fun. And make sure you check out Emily's podcast, sex with Emily. Her book is called smart sex how to boost your sex IQ and own your personal pleasure. This has been so much fun. Thank you, callers. You were all amazing today. You have. You really brought your A games. And I can't wait to talk with you all off camera next week. Bye, everybody. Let's talk off camera with Kelly Ripa. Is a production of Malojo Productions. From Malojo, our team is Kelly Ripa, Marc Consuelos, Albert Bianchini, Jan Chalet, Seth Fronquist, Rosa Therian, Devin Schneider, Michael Halperin, Julia Desch and Team Radio Andy Lisa Mantineo, Scott Marlowe, Jake Getz.

[Kelly Ripa]

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[Jan Chalet]

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[Kelly Ripa]

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[Albert Bianchini]

Hey everybody, Ted Danson here to tell you about my podcast with my longtime.

[Jan Chalet]

Friend and sometimes co host Woody Harrelson.

[Albert Bianchini]

It's called where everybody knows your name.

[Jan Chalet]

And we're back for another season.

[Albert Bianchini]

I'm so excited to be joined this season by friends like John Mulaney, David Spade, Sarah Silverman, Ed Helms, and many more. You don't want to miss it. Listen to where everybody knows your name with me, Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes, wherever you get your podcasts.