Hilaria Baldwin: Manual Not Included (Re-Release)

Summary

Let’s Talk Off Camera with Kelly Ripa
Episode: Hilaria Baldwin: Manual Not Included (Re-Release)
Date: May 13, 2026

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Episode Overview

This lively and heartfelt episode brings Hilaria Baldwin back to the "Let’s Talk Off Camera" studio with Kelly Ripa to discuss family, resilience, public scrutiny, and the power of authenticity. The episode dives into Hilaria’s life as a mother of seven, the realities behind her TLC show, her new memoir Manual Not Included, and the enduring challenges of being in the public eye—especially during and after Alec Baldwin’s legal and personal struggles. The conversation also sheds light on topics like parenting without a guidebook, healing from eating disorders, bilingual family life, and the broader cultural implications of online criticism and female competition.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Family Banter & Vocal Talent (01:01–06:12)

• Kelly’s son Michael drops in, leading to comedic impersonations of famous figures such as Emperor Palpatine, Barack Obama, and Ronald Reagan.
  • Kelly: “Nobody is a more brilliant mimic than you are. Can you give us… a little Palpatine?” (03:38)
  • Michael, as Obama: “Let's talk about today’s guest. Hilaria Baldwin is a wellness and fitness expert and the mom of seven kids.” (05:04)
• A warm, playful intro that sets the relaxed, intimate tone.

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2. REAL Reality TV: The Baldwins on TLC (06:12–10:44)

• Kelly confesses to being a super fan, likening her anticipation for each episode to "Sopranos" or "Succession."
• Hilaria reflects on the choice to film the show just two weeks before Alec’s trial:
  • “We started filming this two weeks before Alec went to trial… it was something that… was a very cathartic experience.” (10:22)
• The show offered a genuine inside look at their chaotic, loving family and their ability to lean into vulnerability and humor through serious times.

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3. Friendship & Fitting In: From SoulCycle to Showbiz (08:30–12:54)

• Hilaria recalls feeling like a “fish out of water” in New York’s entertainment circles and credits Kelly with early support.
  • “I was just thrown into this world I knew nothing about… you were so kind to me and invited me to SoulCycle…” (08:31)
• Humorous story of meeting Neil Patrick Harris and not remembering him at first due to nerves.
  • “I meet somebody backstage… ‘It's nice to see you’—and I said, ‘It's nice to meet you,’... [They say] ‘We had dinner the other night, Eli!’” (11:22)

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4. Navigating Tragedy & Public Scrutiny (12:54–17:32)

• Kelly discusses how the tragedy affected Alec, Hilaria, and their circles; Hilaria delves into the awkwardness and invasiveness of public support and attention:
  • “Nobody can ever put themselves in… you just don't know what to say… there's nothing to say.” (15:08)
• The family’s way to cope was through documentation—creating a show as a private diary while unable to speak publicly.
  • “It allowed us to vent and feel seen… while we couldn’t be seen.” (16:54)

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5. Parenting & Resilience: Manual Not Included (17:32–24:55)

• Hilaria describes the pressure, both self-imposed and external, of being the family’s “glue.”
  • “Are you okay?”—Kelly (19:02)
  • Hilaria: “Depends on the day… I started writing this book right after the tragedy happened… I broke down and I cried… and I think that was a necessary moment in my life.” (22:20–24:41)
• Discusses writing her own memoir despite ADHD/dyslexia and the vulnerability of sharing her truths.
  • “It was myself. And it's hard… I have ADHD and dyslexia… But I did it.” (23:41)
• Kelly encourages filtering out online negativity:
  • “It's the people with the deepest personality disorders that weigh in online… called the dark triad.” (25:25)
  • “You don't need to troll a troll a troll.” (25:20)

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6. Raising Kids in the Spotlight (26:55–34:40)

• Addressing online rumors (e.g., about pregnancy) and the realities of raising seven “real” kids in the public eye:
  • Hilaria: “Obviously these are like, unwell, sick people. But, like, my back wants to have a conversation with you because… it still hurts.” (27:08)
• Commitment to honesty with her children when facing hard realities, and the resulting strength in sibling bonds.
  • “If I pretend everything's okay, and then… their daddy isn’t with me, then they’re never going to believe me again.” (28:03)
• The challenge of keeping a big family grounded and "normal" and their multicultural, multilingual household:
  • “We speak Spanish at home. And then also I send them to an immersion school…” (33:41)

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7. Cultural Identity & The Accent Controversy (34:04–39:10)

• Addressing the media uproar over her accent and why code-switching is misunderstood:
  • “It’s called code switching... People want it very compartmentalized… you can't make sense out of something that made no sense.” (34:40–36:37)
  • “It fluctuates. I definitely code switch and it fluctuates.” (36:48)
• Double standards and gendered expectations called out—European athletes praised for adopting accents, while women like Hilaria are criticized.

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8. The Gendered Nature of Criticism & Raising Daughters (39:10–49:01)

• Kelly suggests much of the criticism targets her for being Alec Baldwin’s wife, while women are especially policed by other women.
  • Hilaria, quoting Women's Inhumanity to Women: “Because we're all part of this system that… we gotta be the good girl… It's just very… confusing.” (45:57)
• Discussion of raising strong, confident daughters who build up other women rather than tearing them down.

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9. Eating Disorders, Control & Healing (49:01–54:20)

• Hilaria opens up about her eating disorder history from age 5 to 25:
  • “I started having problems with eating when I was 5… and I, you know, I was. I was anorexic and I was bulimic…” (49:12)
  • Ultimately, healing came through yoga, somatic therapy, and becoming present with her body and eating.
  • “I fixed my eating disorder through connecting to myself and being more aware of the experience of eating.” (50:32)
• Practical and compassionate insights on helping her own children form healthy eating habits.

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10. Humor & Partnership: Sneaking Snacks and Parenting Roles (54:25–57:26)

• Lighthearted stories about Alec Baldwin hiding pretzels and coffee, highlighting the couple's playful dynamic.
  • Kelly: “He said, hilaria has me on a special… health plan… but I'm gonna say it. He goes, I hide pretzels under the sofa. And when she's not looking, I eat them.” (54:32)
  • Hilaria: “He says to me... ‘That's not my coffee…’ …And I said, kiss me… you taste like coffee... okay, it's my coffee.” (55:55)

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11. Future Plans: More Kids? (31:14–32:13)

• Kelly asks the perennial question: are more children in the cards?
  • Hilaria: “It depends on the day… Alec would love to have more kids… But we’re probably done.” (31:21-31:54)
  • Coy acknowledgment of the fun and chaos her youngest brings.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "It allowed us to vent and feel seen… while we couldn’t be seen. And we had to let the system play out."
  • Hilaria Baldwin on filming the TLC show during Alec's trial (16:54)
• “It’s the people with the deepest personality disorders that weigh in online… called the dark triad.”
  • Kelly Ripa on social media haters (25:25)
• "If I'm with somebody from North Carolina for more than three minutes, I have a full southern accent."
  • Kelly on why the accent controversy made no sense to her (34:04)
• “If I pretend everything's okay, and then… their daddy isn’t with me, then they’re never going to believe me again.”
  • Hilaria on being honest with her kids (28:03)
• "Manual not included... Because there's no manual for all of this."
  • Hilaria on the inspiration behind the title of her book (28:03)
• "I was anorexic and I was bulimic... The one thing throughout it all is I knew that I didn’t want to live life that way. I’m a defiant bitch, even with myself."
  • Hilaria on battling her eating disorder (49:12–49:34)
• "I'm not your mom. Like, what do you think is going to happen to you? I'm going to ground you?"
  • Hilaria, to Alec about his hidden coffee (55:55)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:01 – Michael Consuelos visits, impressions and family banter
• 06:12 – Hilaria joins, Kelly confesses Baldwins binge-watching
• 08:30 – Meeting in NYC, friendship origins, SoulCycle story
• 12:54 – Early days, Neil Patrick Harris and Al Pacino at the Tonys
• 14:24 – Navigating public scrutiny and tragedy
• 17:32 – Parenting through trauma, authenticity, show as catharsis
• 22:20 – Hilaria on writing the memoir, breaking down, healing
• 24:55 – Online negativity, dealing with trolls, Kelly’s advice
• 26:55 – Addressing pregnancy rumors, raising ‘normal’ kids
• 28:03 – Open communication with kids during difficult times
• 31:14 – More kids? Hilaria’s answer, family dynamics
• 34:04 – Code-switching, accent controversy, cultural misunderstanding
• 39:10 – How much criticism is about Alec? Gender double standards
• 45:57 – Female competition and inhumanity to women
• 49:01 – Hilaria’s eating disorder battle, paths to healing
• 54:32 – Alec’s secret snacks, partnership humor
• 57:16 – Alec running for office? Hilaria’s tongue-in-cheek response

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a blend of honest introspection, raw disclosures, insightful parenting wisdom, and the unique chemistry between Kelly Ripa, her family, and Hilaria Baldwin. It underscores the importance of authenticity, the challenges of public life, and the everyday victories of parenting without a roadmap. Through laughter and tears, the conversation resounds with resilience and mutual support—making this a must-listen for fans and new listeners alike.

Transcript

[Kelly Ripa]

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[Kelly Ripa]

You know, when Alec was on this podcast, he said that he might consider a run for office. Maybe mayor of New York, maybe a senate seat. No, you're. Lauria's shutting it down. Just shut down.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

He's more than welcome to do that and then have his next child with his younger wife.

[Kelly Ripa]

Somebody gotta cue me or do I cue myself?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Cue your shop.

[Kelly Ripa]

Okay, well, we are back with let's Talk Off Camera Season three. So let's get talking before I talk about today's guest. Jan Albert.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Yeah.

[Kelly Ripa]

Do we have a special visitor at the table? Very special. What? What? What is going on here? You would think that. You would think that he thinks he still lives here. In residence. In residence. Michael Consuelos, my firstborn. The love of my life.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Hi, Mom.

[Kelly Ripa]

How are you? Welcome home.

[Michael Consuelos]

Thank you very much. It's good to be here.

[Kelly Ripa]

To what do we owe the pleasure of the prodigal son returning?

[Michael Consuelos]

Well, so fun fact for everyone listening. I used to stop by unannounced a lot, but now I've taken. I guess you can call this like character development or maturity. But I've taken to asking before I drop by.

[Kelly Ripa]

I don't know. I don't think you have to do that. This is your home.

[Michael Consuelos]

Well, wow. Now that I've started asking. They say I don't have to ask.

[Kelly Ripa]

No, no, no. There's a. There's a difference between asking and walking into our bedroom at like one o' clock in the morning. Tuesday night.

[Michael Consuelos]

We've been over this.

[Kelly Ripa]

So different. Those are different.

[Michael Consuelos]

We've been over This. I grew up with you. You two crazy kids. I feel like the third person in the marriage. I feel like I'm allowed to walk in whenever I want.

[Kelly Ripa]

No, definitely not the third person in the marriage. You're not allowed to walk in whenever you want. And you did not grow up with us.

[Michael Consuelos]

I did.

[Kelly Ripa]

You grew up around us.

[Michael Consuelos]

I think we're arguing semantics here. We're splitting hairs. But I'm gonna be doing work and I need to borrow the car because I, you know, growing up in the city, I don't have one. My dad has one, so he's letting me borrow his car. So tomorrow morning, early, I've gotten the time. I have to be there by 6:45, I'll be taking the car and getting out of your hair. So that's why I'm here right now.

[Kelly Ripa]

Is there anything exciting that you can tell us about or is it top secret?

[Michael Consuelos]

I cannot tell you what it's about.

[Kelly Ripa]

Okay.

[Michael Consuelos]

They were. I just don't know if I'm allowed.

[Kelly Ripa]

I'm just gonna be.

[Michael Consuelos]

It's gonna be a lot of this.

[Kelly Ripa]

It's just. You're not sure if you can divulge something exciting.

[Michael Consuelos]

It's very exciting. It's very strange.

[Kelly Ripa]

Strange and exciting. I like it.

[Michael Consuelos]

And it's in New Jersey, so.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah. Wow.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Wow.

[Kelly Ripa]

You know, listen, what you should be doing. Yes, and I've said this before, you should be doing voice work because nobody, but nobody is nobody is a more brilliant mimic than you are. Can you give us, like, give. Give us a little Palpatine? Oh, can you. Okay, so today, like, give me Palpatine,

[Michael Consuelos]

but read the emperor.

[Kelly Ripa]

Give me the emperor. Emperor Palpatine. And give us a little. Just read the. Read Hilarious. Close to the mic intro.

[Michael Consuelos]

You know, just dancing. Okay.

[Kelly Ripa]

No. Yes, you are. You are a dancing monkey. So dance.

[Michael Consuelos]

We are back with let's talk off camera. So let's get talking. Let's talk about today's guest, Hilaria Baldwin. Is that.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah, keep going. It's so good.

[Michael Consuelos]

We have a lot here.

[Kelly Ripa]

Please just give us one more line.

[Michael Consuelos]

Hilaria Baldwin is a wellness and fitness expert and the mom of seven kids. Seven young kids.

[Kelly Ripa]

Is that what you're.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Again?

[Michael Consuelos]

That's. I'm rusty. It's not even that good. It's not that good.

[Kelly Ripa]

Amazing. Can you now read that same bit? But as Barack Obama.

[Michael Consuelos]

Is this charged?

[Kelly Ripa]

Come on.

[Michael Consuelos]

Is that allowed?

[Kelly Ripa]

Yes, of course. We're friends with Mish.

[Michael Consuelos]

We are back with let's talk off camera. So let's get talking let's talk about today's guest. Hilary Baldwin is a wellness and fitness expert and the mom of seven kids.

[Kelly Ripa]

He's amazing.

[Michael Consuelos]

That's gotta be problematic in some way.

[Kelly Ripa]

Okay, that's it. Wait, wait. One more. Can you do any Bush? Will you do any Bush?

[Michael Consuelos]

I can't do Bush very well.

[Kelly Ripa]

How about Reagan?

[Michael Consuelos]

Well, I can't do this.

[Kelly Ripa]

Stupid. Every agent listens to this show.

[Michael Consuelos]

Reagan. Okay, this is a very timely reference.

[Kelly Ripa]

Mom, people love Reagan. They love him. They love him.

[Michael Consuelos]

Well, we're back with let's Talk off Camera.

[Kelly Ripa]

That's it. That's all we got, everyone. I can't really. I haven't.

[Michael Consuelos]

I have not honed my Reagan yet.

[Kelly Ripa]

All right, well, that was really pleasant.

[Michael Consuelos]

Did you actually think so?

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah.

[Michael Consuelos]

I'm glad.

[Kelly Ripa]

You're gonna need a lot of work out of that. People are gonna book you.

[Michael Consuelos]

Subpar Emperor from Star.

[Kelly Ripa]

Well, we have another Star. Okay, Ready for us? Okay. Hi, how are you? Oh, my gosh, we're so excited you're here.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Oh, my gosh. Thank you for having me on.

[Kelly Ripa]

Thanks for being on. I feel like your time now that I've binged watched the Baldwins. And let me tell you something, too. Sunday night couldn't roll around fast enough for me. It was so irritating the way TLC decided to drop every episode per week. Like, it was like my Sopranos. It was my succession. I was like, we have to get home. We have to get out of here. Baldwins are on.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Oh, my God, you're so sweet for watching. Thank you for watching.

[Kelly Ripa]

I've got to tell you, Hilaria. By the way, listeners, if you're just joining us, because we had. My oldest son is visiting us, but I was having him because he's a very good mimic. He's very good at doing voices. So he was reading your intro. It's not like I'm just jumping into this without you being introduced, but Hilaria Baldwin, if you're just joining us, is on the line and. Yes, but he was reading your intro as, like, Barack Obama. Governor Palpatine from Star Wars.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Oh, my gosh. Star wars nut. I am.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yes, he is. Oh, my gosh, he is a Star wars nut. Anyway, we were talking about you having seven children. Mark and I only had three, but when we watched you with your seven kids, we were awestruck. We were mesmerized. It was like you were performing magic tricks. Mark had a lot of anxiety about the dog feces on the floor.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Yeah.

[Kelly Ripa]

Mark went into Alec mode and started having OCD on our end, he's like, clean up your makeup container. And I'm like, stop. Leave my shit alone. So how do you. I guess I want to say, how do you feel the show went? Was that. Because I feel like that was a real reality show.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Yeah. I mean, you. You know us, so. And when I met you, I had zero kids and you had three, and I felt like that was a lot.

[Kelly Ripa]

You got over that.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

I remember looking at you and one of my earliest memories of. Of meeting you, and I was just thrown into this world that I had knew nothing, nothing about. And I was just, like, really shy and not knowing what to say all the time. And I remember you were so kind to me and you invited me to SoulCycle class with you, and I don't actually know how to ride a real bike.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

And I was like, oh, my God. Kelly invited me to go to a SoulCycle class. And, like, I was teaching yoga all the time. I changed my classes to be able to go with you. And we go there and I'm like, okay, I don't really know how to ride a bike, but, like, I'm a fitness instructor. I can do this. Oh, my God, my butt hurts so bad. Like, because when you don't know how to do it, it's awful.

[Kelly Ripa]

Anything that you don't regularly do is a challenge.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Well, what I remember about you is I was like, oh, God, thank God. I mean, it's like a 45 minute class. Thank God it's over because I'm not doing any of it right. And you're looking at me and you're like, you want to stay for a double? And I was like. And I felt it for like two weeks afterwards. I was like, oh, my God, this is insane. Insane. But no, I love that you were so, like, welcoming and warm to me when I'm like, you know, I'm shy and I just didn't know what I was doing in this world. And so just thank you for. Thank you for that. Now, getting back to your question, I feel, you know, I'm really happy with everything about the show.

[Kelly Ripa]

Me too.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

I'm really, really happy because it does for everybody like you who actually know us. They're like, no, this is you. Yeah. And to, you know, go from just 27 years old, meeting Kelly Reepa and going to this really hard, like, Soul Cycle class and meeting all of these people and. And putting my foot in my mouth a million times, I just am trying to fit in to, you know, being able to, you know, go and show my Family and through a really hard time. You know, we started filming this two weeks before Alec went to trial. And obviously, I don't think through things very well still, but I. But I'm gl that we did it. You know, it was something that. That was a very cathartic experience. So thank you for watching it.

[Kelly Ripa]

I have to tell you that. Okay, so I've. I've got so many thoughts and so many questions, but going back to when we met, what was so funny was you were the youngest person in the room. You were the newcomer in the room. And even though it may have felt so uncomfortable for you, I felt like you were the grownup in the room. That was my perspective. I was like, oh, my gosh. This woman has so. Like, she's got it all going on. She's got her shit together. And we are like, she must think we're all insane. She must be like, get me out of here. These people are disgusting. Like, that was my thought in my head.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

No, you're very kind, but no. I was just like, oh, my God. Like a fish. A fish out of water, for sure. I remember one of the first nights that I met you, we were with Neil Patrick Harris, and their twins were just born, and they're telling me about him. This is incredible. And I remember meeting people, and they would always say to me, it's nice to see you. And then for me, I'm like, I've never met this person before. And I started realizing people do say that because they don't know if they've met you or not. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then we're at the Tonys, and we're backstage, and there's, like, so many. And there's so much going on, and it was just, like, so exciting. I'm sitting next to, like, Al Pacino in the front. Like, like, what is going. My feet were hurting because I was wearing stupid shoes. And then I meet somebody backstage, and he's like, it's nice to see you. And I said, it's nice to meet you, because I'm trying to make a point. And he's like, it's Neil Patrick. And he's like, we had dinner the other night, Eli. Oh, my God. Yeah. No, no, no. I definitely. Then I started getting on the. And of course, like, I knew him. It was just, like, a lot of my nervous system.

[Kelly Ripa]

At one point, if I'm sitting next to Al Pacino, I don't remember Mark. I'm like, who are you? Have you met my husband? What's your name?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Again, I just remember he was like commenting the entire time. And I didn't know what was going on either because I'd known Alec for like three and four months or something like that. And I'm like. And he's like commenting to me the entire time.

[Kelly Ripa]

He really threw you into it. He, you know, he threw you into it.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

There's definitely. And you know, every single woman gets this, but there's definitely a market for picking us apart. So, I mean, I remember at the early days I used to still read things about myself and like there was like Facebook chat rooms and stuff like that. And they're like, I can't believe she wore a watch with that outfit. And I'm thinking, well, Alec got me a watch and so it probably doesn't say the right time, but my boyfriend got me a watch. So I put a watch with the dress. I didn't even think about these things. You know what I mean? But all of a sudden every single thing that you do, but you know

[Kelly Ripa]

now that you're gonna be picked apart and dissected no matter what you do.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Yes.

[Kelly Ripa]

And I don't, I don't, I don't believe in. And Jan and I are very like minded in this. We do not commit girl on girl crime. I don't like crimes against women of any kind. It enrages me in a certain way. And so I feel particularly protective about you in that way. You know, I wanna, there's so much I wanna get to. But I want to start with the show. And as you mentioned, it takes us into the two weeks leading up to the trial and what happened. And because we had seen you at a dinner party before all of this, but I remember at that dinner being very concerned for Alec and I was sat next to him and you were sat next to Mark. I don't know if you remember this.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Yeah, I remember.

[Kelly Ripa]

And I turned to him and I was like, you know, I haven't reached out because I was afraid that reaching out would make him think everybody's talking about this. Does that make sense? Like, I didn't want him to think that I was so in the news and in the headlines that I too was talking about this.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Well, it's an awkward thing. You don't really know what to say.

[Kelly Ripa]

Right.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

You know, Right. Right after the tragedy happened, I found that a lot of people reached out to us. And a lot of it was people kind of putting themselves in Alex shoes. A lot of actors, you know, like, it's this whole thing of like that, you know, nobody can ever.

[Kelly Ripa]

Nobody can ever put themselves in. In.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Yes. I just think that it's something that. And they could see that could have happened to anyone.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

In terms of, like, you know, he was in a position.

[Kelly Ripa]

Well, I think. I hope it woke everybody. Industry, because I've got to tell you, I've. You know, I've. Since I haven't acted in a long time, but every set I've ever been on, the soap opera, the sitcom, when I guest starred on. On Riverdale, I've had a gun in there. I'm always handed a gun.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Yeah.

[Kelly Ripa]

And you always trust the person on the set, the prop master, the armor, whoever it is that's handing you the gun, that it's a clean gun. You just assume that it's a clean gun. It would never even occur to me that it wouldn't be. And so I think it was every actor or any person that's been an actor, it's their horror, it's their nightmare, and it's their. What the fuck?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Yeah. No, it's definitely. I mean, that's how any of these sets work. You know, everybody has their job to do, and you don't do other people's jobs because then you can mess up the other person's job. And it's. You know, normally there's a beautiful camaraderie when you're on any set. So. No, I mean, that was. People reached out then. And then I think then you get into the place of. They just don't know. You just don't know what to say because there's nothing to say. You're watching this awfulness happen and there's just no way to make it better except let it play out. So in that time when there was nothing to say and we were not supposed to talk, you know, because every single thing. Talk about being picked apart. Every single thing that we were gonna say is gonna get picked apart and used against us.

[Kelly Ripa]

Right, Right.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

And so what we did was we created this show and that was. It was a diary that wasn't released while it was happening, but it was. It allowed us to vent and feel seen while. While we couldn't be seen. And we had to let the system play out. And so, you know, it was very cathartic. I feel very lucky to have done that. We did it with, you know, it was all about consent, all about truth, all about showing real. Like, as you say, a real reality show.

[Kelly Ripa]

It was real. I felt like I was watching a very exciting version of my own life. If I. If I had a super sick body and if I had twice as many kids, plus one. But, you know, do you suspect that or do you think that Alex still has ptsd? Do you think he'll always have it?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Yeah. No, I mean, he's still, he's very different than he used to be. And it, I think some of that, regardless of how people have behaved over the past, you know, few years, I think that to be in such an, such a tragic situation that was going to forever change him. But I do think, you know, I mean, loud noises, just anything surprising, you know, his, you watch his nervous system just react in ways that. It breaks my heart. But he is, you know, little by little, I think that he's working, you know, and it's hard, but he's working on it. And I think that the children encourage him to work on it. When you see that you have something to live for, and these are seven little things and we have Ireland, who, and she has her baby. There's so much beauty and joy and I think that that helps him to, to try to lead a happier life.

[Kelly Ripa]

I also worry about you because you are the person that clearly holds the whole operation together and you prioritize everyone above yourself. I watch it. I, I saw the show, but I seen it in real life. You, you definitely are tireless in the, in the advocacy of your family and the protectiveness of your family. And, and, and so I'm curious, like, are you okay? The Genesis GV70 is built to thrill. A thrilling yet elegant design always makes driving the GV70 an exciting adventure. It's powerful athletic stance screams performance and turns heads. Command the road and experience a class leading standard 300 horsepower. Plus discover the different dynamic drive modes for all different terrains. Choose between the different terrain modes for whatever road conditions you may encounter. The Genesis GV70's award winning technology and performance lets you drive with comfort and drive with confidence. It's an exciting SUV with intuitive tech that can make your ride smooth even when the road isn't. And its blind spot cameras allow you to see what's next to you. Its performance is measured not only in power, but in how it makes you feel. The Genesis GV70. Learn [e-mail] and feel the GV70. If you know anything about me, it's that I love to do laundry. It just gives me such satisfaction. But did you also know that skincare can start in the laundry room? The first step of a sensitive skincare routine is choosing the right laundry detergent. All free Clear is the number one detergent brand recommended by dermatologists for sensitive skin all free clear is 100% free of dyes and fragrance allergens. It provides an effective clean that's gentle on the skin while removing impurities like dirt and body oil that can irritate your skin. It's made with eight carefully selected ingredients to fight stains and be gentle on skin. How great is that? Allfree Clear has been a game changer for me. It leaves my clothes feeling fresh and my skin feeling happy. I especially love that it doesn't give my laundry a strong artificial odor like some other brands. You know what I mean? For an effective skin friendly clean wash with All Free Clear this month on Acorn TV's murder mystery may you have to check out yout're Killing Me with the absolutely iconic Brooke Shields. Brooke stars as a mystery novelist who teams up with a young true crime podcaster played by Amalia Williamson to solve small town murders. The dynamic between them is so fun that you get this classic whodunit with a little edge and really witty banter. Watch. You're Killing Me. Premiering May 18th on Acorn TV. Learn more at Acorn TV. And so I'm curious, like, are you okay?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Am I okay? Depends on the day. I you know, I've been doing this, this book tour and I started writing this book right after the tragedy happened and it was in many different forms and I there was still so much going on that I didn't know how to complete it because I didn't know the end of this particular chapter of our lives. And once the trial was over, other than filming the reality show right afterwards, I would sit down and I would just type and all the pages that I'd been working on, like everything just came together. And having the book come out, I didn't really think about what I wanted to hear from people. And I share deeply personal things. I share and I wrote it. A lot of people who are in

[Kelly Ripa]

our program, right, they hire ghostwriters.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Trust me, I tried to hire ghostwriters with this one and it didn't work out. I had to write it myself because

[Kelly Ripa]

when you want, when you have something you want to say and you want it, you want it to be your authentic voice.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Yes.

[Kelly Ripa]

It's, there's only one way to do it, and that's yourself.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

And it was myself. And it's hard. You know, I have ADHD and dyslexia. Writing a book is not, is not easy for me. But I did it. And then I thought, you know, then the opinions come and the people Picking it apart. And you think, can everybody just can get to a place where people just say, wow, you wrote a book and you shared of yourself. I'm proud of you. That's it. And so on Friday, I really, this past Friday, I broke down and I cried. I don't cry very often. And I cried and I cried and I cried. And I think that that was a necessary moment in my life. I will always remember that Friday because I don't give myself that much time because I had to break, you know, I had to. After trying to support everybody and trying to field outside and the entire time, people giving their comments about my character and who I am and how I parents and everything. And I just needed to just be a human for a second and just say, you know what? I've worked really hard. I'm going to break today. And then I woke up on Saturday. The sun was shining. I said, okay, now it's time to move forward.

[Kelly Ripa]

You know, that's amazing because I would have actually taken about. I can tell you that I have been known to lock myself in my room and scream into my pillow, Albert, you can attest, Jan, you've seen it. My oldest son is listening to this and he's like, yep, well, this will

[Hilaria Baldwin]

be another thing that I learned from you.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yes.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

I'm going to add that to the list. Lock room, scream into pillow. Because I feel like I could use a little bit more of that in my life.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah, it's very good. I learned this lesson a long time ago, and I'm going to pass it on to you. It's the people with the deepest personality disorders that weigh in online and in social media forums in a negative way. It's called the dark triad. They've done psychological studies on it. Okay, so the majority of people that are buying and loving your book called Manual Not Included, which is, by the way, the book is fabulous. And not only that, the picture on the COVID is my favorite thing I've ever seen. Okay, so the majority of the people, the silent majority, they're normal people. These are women looking for your kernels of wisdom in their own lives. They're too busy with their own families and their own careers to sit down at a computer and bang out a negative review. These are people that are not right. And I'm not. Listen, believe me, I can take criticism. I've been in the public eye a long time, and I've built a nice, thick, crusty shell, but it still gets in there and it bothers you. And I'm always like, I'm gonna respond to this person. And Mark's like, are you okay? You're gonna respond to someone on Instagram. You're gonna respond to a comment on Instagram, like, what's wrong with you? He's like, you're not. You're mentally fine. You don't need to troll a troll a troll. You don't need to troll a troll.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

That's what it is. But it is these very human moments. Like, there's the people who write to me online, and they're like, you only had Carmen. You didn't give birth to any of the other ones. And I'm like, the doctors.

[Kelly Ripa]

You mean the online doctors.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Or they'll write to Alec too. He's like, I literally saw them come out of your body, right? You're like, it's like. And obviously these are like, unwell, sick people. But, like, still, there's moments where I'm like, my back wants to have a conversation with you because my back is mad because it still hurts.

[Kelly Ripa]

You know, I have to say, it's what's remarkable. Not just the seven kids of it all, but there's seven great kids. I really only know Carmen personally because I've only ever met her. But they're just Jan, the most charming, like, adorable. And the most important thing, they're like real kids. They're not like these slick show business y kids. These are kids that roll around in the dirt. They're just like normal kids. And that, to me, was the best part of the whole thing. I was like, oh, my gosh, they're keeping. They're keeping these kids normal.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

I'm trying. You know, it's. When you go through. You go through some. I mean, obviously the nature of our life is a little bit different, but when you go through something so hard, your kids are going to pick up on it. And that was, you know, there's so many leaps in parenting. And that's where the title came from. Manual not included. Because there's no manual for all of this. And I'm thinking, okay, if I pretend everything's okay, and then it's not going to be okay, And I come back from New Mexico and their daddy isn't with me, then they're never going to believe me again. And they're going to know that they can't trust me. So I had to be honest with them, you know, And I have painful to. It's. Oh, it's. It's. It's just the worst, you know, it's just the worst to, you know, not be able to tell your kids that everything is okay. And. Because I know that the most important thing is that they trust me. And so, you know, you try to do in. In a way that's. That's not too harsh, but you have to be real with them. And, and, you know, ultimately, I think that these experiences allowed my kids to really bond. They're so close, they're so sweet to each other. Do they fight sometimes? Absolutely, but not that much. And I think it's because they created such a strong unit during these difficult years.

[Kelly Ripa]

I'm curious about, like, what happens and this is going to happen. What happens when they get older and stinkier and smellier and then they want to have all of their friends sleep over? What. What's going to happen to Alec?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

You know? What? Well, I. Him. We have to have that house where everybody's there. I love having a lot of people in my house. You know, my family always had, growing up, tons of people. Like, I didn't even know who they were.

[Kelly Ripa]

Right.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

And they're in my house. Right. Like, we always had it just a busy, busy, busy house. Which I think is one of the reasons why I've. I've replicated that and I love it. It's like, so much fun. But I tell Alec, we want to be the center. Yeah. You know, and my. And my friends will say that, well, like, we have. Like, they're like, you actually have the friend's house. Like, people are coming in and out. They said, come into the house. I'm like, hello, you're. And so I hope, by the way, that house.

[Kelly Ripa]

That house is a great house.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

A great house.

[Kelly Ripa]

Are you going to keep that house?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

I think we'll. I think we'll see. I feel like.

[Kelly Ripa]

I know, like there was. There was talk that it was on the market, and I. I'm like, oh, my. Once I saw it, I was like, oh, my God, you can never get rid of that house.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Is amazing. I think it's just how much, like, how much time we're going to be there. I mean, we. So we bought a home up in Vermont, which we absolutely love. Don't go very often, but we absolutely love it and are in the city a lot because the kids are in school and then, you know, my whole family lives in Spain. So, you know, we're. We're going over there too, for them to be with my family. So, you know, I mean, it's. It's really a. I don't know. We'll see. I think that this. We're in the part of our life where we're like, let's see, we've been in such a fight flight freeze mode for so long. So now let's, like, see where our

[Kelly Ripa]

life is going to breathe and see. Yeah.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Yeah.

[Kelly Ripa]

So. So here's the question, and I can't. Jan.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Yes.

[Kelly Ripa]

We're going to ask it. Yeah. Are you done having kids?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

It depends on the day. So I very much feel. I'm in my 40s now.

[Kelly Ripa]

Right.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

And I very much feel like I'm done. I had got pregnant with my first one. I was 28. I had my last one, I was 38. And that was very, very different. Like, in terms of recovery, in terms of my energy level, it was just much harder. Obviously, I had many in between, too, so I probably added up. But Alec would love to have more kids.

[Kelly Ripa]

He would.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Isn't that crazy?

[Kelly Ripa]

He should have to carry it in his belly.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Exactly. I heard him say something recently. He's like, well, I had my last child when I was 65. And I was like, you had your child? Okay, okay. But we're probably done. And our last baby, she's so wild that, like, I don't even know how I'd be able to have time.

[Kelly Ripa]

She's gonna be. She's gonna be the one to watch, you know, the youngest. The youngest child in any family. And I can speak. I have three. I only have three. But my youngest is the wild card. He is capable of anything at any time, and nothing surprises us. And we're always like, holy shit. I didn't even know he was here. Like, you know what I mean? Like, he lives in Michigan, but he could come home and be living in this house for four months, and then suddenly we would just stumble upon him.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

And I'm like, you'd like. You'd, like, realize.

[Kelly Ripa]

How long have you been here? Yeah, how long have you been here? And one of Mark's friends nicknamed him Randall from Monsters, Inc. You know, the Disney movie? You know how Randall appears and disappears? That's how he is. He's like. Suddenly you're sitting there and he's like. And you're like, oh, my God.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

What. What is this? Because she's exactly the same way. She. First of all, she doesn't even. You tell her no, and she just looks at you. Not like, I'm mad at you for saying no, but just like, I do not. I do not listen to anything that you're saying right now. Like, just you. You're. There's zero reason that you should be speaking.

[Kelly Ripa]

Why Are you.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Why are you speaking to me? And then she's going to just continue on doing what she's doing. Her entire thing now is pushing chairs or carrying stools around to go do what she wants to do. She will not ask permission. First she's like, I want to get that way up there. I'm going to go get a ladder. And she's like this tiny little thing and you carry these giant things over.

[Kelly Ripa]

Are all of the kids fluent in Spanish?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Yeah. No. They are so impressive. We speak Spanish at home. And then also I send them to an immersion school because I'm like, yeah, that's very good.

[Kelly Ripa]

Lock it in.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

We did the same thing with my, my nephew. My brother has one child and my nephew, who's lived his entire life in Spain, we send him to an immersion school so that he can speak English too.

[Kelly Ripa]

That's incredible. So smart. And so what do you think the outrage is about the accent and because let me tell you something, I'm just going to speak from my own point of view. If I'm with somebody from North Carolina for more than three minutes, I have a full southern accent. When I go to France, I speak English with a full French accent. Okay? So I don't really understand the hullabaloo about a Spanish speaking person who may speak English with like a Spanish intonation. Maybe that's just like me. I don't get it.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

It's actually so. I couldn't understand it at the beginning either. I've actually started thinking it was funny. And I write, I write a lot about this in my book and I get into like the brain and like how the brain works. It's actually absolutely fascinating. But what's interesting is, I mean, I think there was a time and a place that people got upset during a time and a place where people were at home and they were bored and they were all going after each other. Like, it was like, I'm on a long list of people that were just getting attacked for all sorts of really stupid things. But I really think that, I think a lot of people don't understand what it's like to speak more than one language. And they don't realize that they do. It's called code switching. So it has a term and they don't understand what it's like to speak here and then speak there. And people want it very compartmentalized. And it depends on the person, depends on the brain. I mean, I have a lot going on in my brain, not just the seven kids. I have adhd. I have Dyslexia. I forget a lot of things all the time. So I think that it was. It was a very good story that was created that didn't actually make sense. And then I spent a ton of time, like, obsessing about it, trying to make sense. And then one of my friends essentially said, she's like, you can't make sense out of something that made no sense to begin with. So you just got to walk away from it. Right? So, like, if. When I have the conversation with people, I want to say, oh, first of all, if you really want to get educated, if you actually want a real answer, read my book, because I write about it. And this, you know, if you're somebody like me, who I'm surrounded by tons of bilingual people all the time, that this is, like, normal for us all the time. And this is not a new thing, it's a normal thing. There's tons of memes about people forgetting words and all. All of this kind of stuff that happened with me. But sometimes, as you know, we are held. We have to play the same game by different rules.

[Kelly Ripa]

Right, exactly.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Which is not fun.

[Kelly Ripa]

Right?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

But, you know, it's happened to so many people. Look at Madonna.

[Kelly Ripa]

No, I.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

That's normal.

[Kelly Ripa]

You know, for the record, you sound like yourself all the time to me.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

It definitely fluctuates. I definitely code switch and it fluctuates. And I, you know, also, I meet Alec and you think about it, what am I doing? I'm coming from the yoga world where I speak all day long in yoga, right? Which not. Not in Sanskrit, but, like in terms of movement terms. Inhale. Right. Leg up. Exhale. Exhale. Step the foot through. Inhale.

[Kelly Ripa]

Warrior one.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

All day long I'm saying this. I'm talking with a lot of people through movement. My friends are all international. I'm coming at that. And all of a sudden I'm in, like a public speaking role that. In front of the whole world, and it's like, wait a second, what is this? So I just didn't really know how to. Now I, you know, I've done a lot of work in terms of understanding it. I've done a lot of work. I took speech therapy to try to. Which makes me kind of sad. And I was like, trying to change myself. And then now I'm at the point where I was like, I gotta grow up. I gotta not worry about these things because it's just stupid.

[Kelly Ripa]

You know, it's funny, my daughter lives in London and she came home a couple of weeks ago, and her best Girlfriend's from high school who've just moved back to New York City. Cause they've gotten jobs here and they were, you know, they graduated from college and they bounced around a little and now they're working back in New York. So all my of my daughter and her best girlfriends from school, they all grew up together since pre K. They all got together and they all said, oh, Lola speaks with a British accent now I don't hear it and I don't think you hear it. But they said that she has like inflections and intonations that are different than how they used to be, which is normal.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

There's a really great article that's written in the Athletic which is part of the New York Times and it's all about, and it came out I think like last year and it's all about European soccer players and how when they move around to different teams they adopt the accent. Part of the custom culture, all those it's different kind of things. And then that changes the way that they speak. Now. It is a full on praise. Of course it is.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yes, of course it is.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

And I sent it to my friend.

[Kelly Ripa]

They're heroes.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

I was like the New York Times didn't write that about me.

[Kelly Ripa]

No, no, you're not, you're not a man and you're not a soccer player.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Exactly. He said you're not a man, you're not a soccer player and you're married to Alec Baldwin.

[Kelly Ripa]

I feel like some of the attack on you is a way to get at Alec, to, to get a reaction from him, to get a response from him. Because you know, Alec is no shrinking violet and he'll, you know, he's sh. His, he's as sharp as they come. And if Alec Baldwin wants to go after you, it's like, it's like a thing. Do you think that part of it is that? The Genesis GV70 is built to thrill. A thrilling yet elegant design always makes driving the GV70 an exciting adventure. Its powerful athletic stance screams performance and turns heads. Command the road and experience a class leading standard 300 horsepower plus discover the different dynamic drive modes for all different terrains. Choose between the different terrain modes for whatever road conditions you may encounter. The Genesis GV70's award winning technology and performance lets you drive with comfort and drive with confidence. It's an exciting SUV with intuitive tech that can make your ride smooth even when the road isn't. And its blind spot cameras allow you to see what's next to you. Its performance is measured not only in power, but in how it makes you feel. The Genesis GV70 learn [e-mail] and feel the GV70 if you're trying to be more intentional about what you wear day to day, Quintz can help with that. They've got pieces that feel easy, comfortable and still still put together. Quince uses premium materials like 100 European linen, organic cotton and ultra soft denim. Their lightweight linen pants, dresses and tops start at $30 and are effortless, breathable and easy to wear on repeat. You know what I've been a little obsessed with lately? Jan? They're Second Skin lace bralettes. You know I love a bralette. No underwires. And the Second Skin name does not disappoint on this one. It has an incredible buttery, soft comfortable fit. And you get two in a pack for this. $35. Come on, that's great. Everything at quints is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands because they work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality and craftsmanship, not brand markup. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quince.com off camera for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com off camera for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com off camera change up your routine for the spring sunshine. A refresh can be as simple as amplifying your look with clean beauty from Thrive Cosmetics. Every product is 100, vegan, cruelty free and made with clean skin loving ingredients that work with your skin, not against it. Their Empower Matte Precision Lipstick Crayon delivers creamy, long lasting matte color in 18 buildable shades, defining and filling lips with fullness. I'm also loving their Empower Gloss Ultra Glossy Lip Serum. It makes my lips feel super hydrated and moisturized. And the best part? Unlike other lip glosses I've used, this one's glossiness lasts. And you know I'm already a huge fan because for every product you purchase, Thrive donates products and funds to 550 plus nonprofits and uplift their communities. Now that's beauty with a purpose. Amplify your spring look with Thrive cosmetics. Go to thrivecosmetics.com off camera for an exclusive offer of 20% off your first order. That's Thrive Cosmetics. C A U S e m e t-I c s.com off camera. I feel like some of the attack on you is a way to get at Alex. Do you think that part of it is that they want to get engagement from him?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Yes, 100%, I think it's that. And I also think that there was something about how, like, I came in and then I would see people that's kind of like, oh, but look at. Hilarious. She's so great, like, health influence on him. And look, he's happier. And, you know, it was very. He was very excited to introduce me to people, as, you know, from the beginning. And I didn't know anything different. I was like, okay, let's do this, you know, But I feel like I gave him. I softened him a little bit. So what's the way to take that away from him? I'm crazy. I'm inauthentic. And then that takes away anything that, like, it's. It look, it's a. It's something as old as time that people do to their opponents. You know, he's extremely political. He's said a lot of things. I mean, I. I think I. I know that there was a strategy in this, and, you know, unfortunately, it. I gave it a lot of thoughts and unfortunately, you know, hit very close to home. It was my Achilles, because people who feel that they don't belong in a particular, like, cookie cutter way, we're insecure. I'm insecure, and I have been my whole life because I don't know how to fit in in a way. Like, you know, Alec is born and raised in Massapequa.

[Kelly Ripa]

Right.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

You know, he was a very. And. And then, by the way, then he went and actively tried to lose his Massapequa accent and is revered around the world for having this famous voice.

[Kelly Ripa]

Right?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Like, this is like an actual attempt at something.

[Kelly Ripa]

I took elocution classes to lose my South Jersey accent. The second I am home or I talk to my family for three minutes, I'm right back dragged back into it. And Mark's like, oh, I can tell you. I can tell you were visiting your folks this week. And I'm like, how do you know? He's like, you just asked me for a glass of water.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

I mean, ultimately, ultimately, it's normal. And I really. I hope that if anything comes out of what happened with me, it's a better awareness for it. You know, I hope that it isn't. You know, I just. I really think that we're smarter than, you know, the crap that was thrown in my direction. We're smart and that we know better. We know better because we're seeing Them say better.

[Kelly Ripa]

It's always fake outrage. They're waiting, willing to take out any woman. And the sad thing to me is that it's always women. And that's the thing. I don't get it. I will never get it.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

I was seeing something the other day about why that is. One of my favorite books is called Women's Inhumanity to Women by Phyllis Chesler. And it's just so. Oh, my God. And it talks about how, because we're all part of this system that the patriarchy, and we're feel like we have to have certain rules and we gotta be the good girl and we gotta be not too much, but we have to be enough. And it's just very. Just confusing that if we see people, we feel like they're not following the rules, then there's a sort of like, we have to pull them back in to follow the rules. Or there's just a fear of like, well, if that's okay. What have I been living my whole life not being free and not just being me and being more open? And so, I mean, I think that there's some validity to that as well. But I think it's also just, you know, there's a level of competition that's very unhealthy, and I'm very focused on that with my daughters. Raising their daughters.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah, raising daughters is hard. And I think it's the thing that I'm proudest of, that my daughter is an adult and she has a sense of confidence and a sense of self, and she's a very good person, and she does not commit crimes against other women. And that's like my biggest. That's like the thing I proudest of, really. You know, and that's all you want. And it's a lot harder now for you because your daughters are going to be exposed to so much more. There wasn't social media when my kids were little. There wasn't. There weren't cell phones. I mean, you know, it's. This is all like, coming fast and furious, you know?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Yeah. And I think about it in terms of, you know, that's. That's. That's amazing. That speaks a lot to you. But I think about it in terms of, like, when my daughter has a crush on a boy.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

And he's dating a girl that. That he likes, and how do I react to that? Do I say, oh, well, you're better than her anyway, or any of these things? That's normal way of just trying to make her feel better.

[Kelly Ripa]

Right.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Or do I say Something supportive about them.

[Kelly Ripa]

Right.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

And then teach her something about perspective. Being able to hold her heart. That's maybe sad. And give her, like. And also not have to tear down the other one or, you know, she's not invited to a party that everybody else is invited to. You know, how do I not tear those people down? Talk about the pain, but not have to do a sort of a comparison game? So that's at least. I mean, who knows? Again, no manual for it, but at least that's what I'm trying.

[Kelly Ripa]

It's so important. Important to just, like, not react and not get caught up in your kid's misery. You can listen to them and empathize with them, but to not sink down into the mud, you know, it's like. Because where there is a dysfunctional, mean child, I guarantee you there is a dysfunctional, mean mother lurking somewhere. Yes, I mean, that is right. Don't you agree?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Amen.

[Kelly Ripa]

You know, you're very honest about your eating disorder, which I did not know anything about. When did it get its hooks in you and when did you get a hold of it?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

I started having problems with eating when I was 5.

[Kelly Ripa]

Oh, my God.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

I know. And I had issues until I was almost 25. So it's about 20 years of my life. And I, you know, I was. I was anorexic and I was bulimic, and. And it goes, you know, go through waves or times there's really tough. And times where it was a little bit better. And, you know, the one thing throughout it all is I knew that I didn't want to live life that way. And so I was, you know, I'm a defiant bitch, even with myself. And I really, really, really was like, life has to be better than this. You know, I was very shy. It was very introverted. I was. Which comes from shame of just being like, oh, I can't show this part of me. I'm not good enough. And I think getting into yoga helped me a lot. And ultimately I fixed. I think it is a fix my eating disorder through connecting to myself and being more aware of the experience of eating. Because I think a lot of people who have eating disorders, we dissociate when we're eating. And that's either resulting in eating too much or not being able to be present for the eating. We're not eating at all or we're throwing up. You know, there is a lot of disconnect. So little by little, I did somatic experiencing, and little by little, I was able to be aware of the experience of eating, the taste of it, how it felt inside of me. And it was really this moment when I realized, I know now when I'm hungry, I can be present for what I'm eating, and I know when I'm full. And those were things. Those are such simple things, right?

[Kelly Ripa]

Exactly. I was like, that's how it works.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Most people do not know how to do those things. We're connected to energy. Now that I've had so many kids and I watch these children eat for the first time, I nursed all of them. And you see that a baby can be screaming and the moment you play, place the baby on your breast, or if you're doing bottled bottle, they pretty much like stop crying. Like, there is an emotional connection that we have to food. That's natural, being a human. But then where does that evolve to? And then with any kind of traumas that you have, where does that evolve to? So watching my kids, you know, right now I'm very into just feed them with a lot of good food and don't obsess about it. Right. So I, you know, I give them tons of fruits and vegetables in the morning. I know that that sounds weird with the vegetables, but I make them eat vegetables in. I don't really worry about lunch or at school, like, whatever. I can't police what they're doing. And the same thing at dinner. And then we make a really big deal about dessert. Like, dessert's really fun and they get to choose. And maybe it's ice cream, maybe it's cookies. Maybe I'm like, today I made a cake. You know, maybe it's a candy bowl with like, like Snickers and like Sour Patch Kids. Like, I'm not. It's a balance. But I want them to be aware of the experience of eating so that they can learn what feels good, what doesn't feel good, and basically be able to be their own problem solvers throughout life. And when they leave my home.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah, that's. I mean, that sounds very reasonable, Jan. Yeah, I mean, I just, I think that for me, I experienced an eating disorder when I was young. And a lot of it was about control. And I would just think that with everything that went on with Alec, that would have challenged me, I would have felt like such a lack of control. That would have been a real challenge for me at that time.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Yeah, I feel like the times where I've dipped back into it, not so much that, but like, I'm just that kind of person. When I'm really stressed out, it's harder for me to eat. Yeah, yeah, that's. That's the one thing. But then I can. Then I know better to, like, make myself like. I remember when I was dealing with the dark days of COVID and people going after me, I had just had my son, Edu, and he was just a couple months old, and I would. I just couldn't eat because it makes me nauseous and I didn't want to throw up. And so I remember being on my bathroom floor stuck in the house because it's Covid in. In like December, January, nursing my son at like 3 o' clock in the morning and talking to my brother. I looked and my son was crying because my body was like, just shutting down because I wasn't. Wasn't eating enough.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

And I. And my body was just trying to make milk. And it was that moment where my brother said that I was like, I'm calling him at 3 o' clock in the morning because it's 6, 9 o' clock in the morning there, you know, and it's like, you know, I. And he was just like, you need to stop. This is. This is like having, like, real life consequences on your life and your kid. You need to, like, stop right now and don't, like, be wrapped up in insanity anymore, because this is crazy. And so, you know, I've had moments, you know, with. With that, but I try to be aware because that experience taught me that if I'm not strong, I have so many people dependent on me and I can't break.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah, right.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Because then my kids won't have me.

[Kelly Ripa]

You're literally holding the whole operation together.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

And I agree with you. I'm not going to be. I'm not going to be shy about agreeing with you.

[Michael Consuelos]

You.

[Kelly Ripa]

I'm going to tell you something also. I probably shouldn't say this, but about 10, 15 years ago, I don't remember how long 10 years ago. I want to say 10 years ago, we were at a dinner party and you had. Alec had lost a lot of weight. Like, you got him on a health journey, like, you put him on a health plan. And I was like, alec, you look amazing. Like, you look healthier than I've ever seen in my. In my life of knowing you. You look like, this is the healthiest I've ever seen. And he said, hilaria has me on a special, like, you know, special health plan. He goes, but I shouldn't say this, but I'm gonna say it. He goes, I hide pretzels under the sofa. And when she's not looking. I eat them.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Her candy in the drawers. Oh, my God. The funniest time. He also. I made him. I made him stop. Stopped drinking coffee. Which is funny because I drink so much coffee. But he was just yet stressed out. I was like, okay, no more coffee. And he's shooting 30 Rock, and he'd have me visit him all the time. And there was something in the financial district. And I go in and there's like, you know, his PA comes and brings me. Brings me to him. And I knew. I know I'm a mom. I know that he's still drinking coffee. Or maybe I wasn't a mom at that point, but, like, I still have those senses.

[Kelly Ripa]

You had the spidey senses?

[Hilaria Baldwin]

I had the spidey senses. And he's in this huge room, and there's, like, these, like, little tables. Almost looks like an event. Like, almost like a Chiprian, right? And he's drinking coffee out of a straw and iced coffee. And he sees me from, like, you know, 30ft away. And his eyes open and he's like. And he turns around and hides the coffee behind, like, a floral arrangement. And I go up to him and he's like. He says to me, he's like. Like, that's not my. That's not my coffee. I'm not drinking coffee. That. That's. That's not my cup. Like, he's like, afraid of me. And I just say, okay. And he's like, no, no, you have to understand, it's not my coffee. I don't drink coffee anymore. I was like, okay. And I said, kiss me. And he kissed me. I said, you taste like coffee. When I went off the watch, and he just kept on coming over. He's like, okay, it's my coffee. I've been drinking coffee. I was like, alec, I know. Like, I'm not like your mom. Like, what do you think is going to happen to you? I'm going to round you.

[Kelly Ripa]

Also, hidden behind that plant was a B. Pretzels. You know, when Alec was on this podcast, he said that he might consider maybe running to it. He was open, not ruling it out. A run for office, maybe mayor of New York, Maybe a senate seat. No, you're shutting it down. Just shut down.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

He's more than welcome to do that. And then have his next child with his younger wife. All of those things. Things together.

[Kelly Ripa]

Oh, so smart. So smart. Good answer, Hilaria. Thank you for doing the podcast. I want to, oh, my gosh, remind everyone the name of Hilaria's book is Manual not included. Don't forget to pick up your copy. And don't forget to check out the Baldwins on tlc. You can stream it on Max Max, but it's, like, binge worthy. It's a must watch. It's a real family. It's a love story. It's got everything. And I just always. I always root for you guys. I always will.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Oh, you've always been so kind. From our first soul cycle class to when you told me to wear the same clothes every day. And then the paparazzi can't sell the pictures. Like I'm telling you, I'm taking all the wisdom, the Kelly wisdom.

[Kelly Ripa]

It works better for me than it does for her. Thanks so much, Hilaria. Give my love to everybody.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

I will. Same, same. Give everybody kiss. All right. Bye, guys. Thank you. Bye.

[Kelly Ripa]

Well, I guess that's it. That's all we have. I hope you enjoyed that episode. Anybody else want to sign out? It's my turn. All right, that's it. Can't wait to talk with y' all off camera next week. Bye. Bye. Let's talk off camera with kelly ripa is a production of malojo productions. From malojo, our team is kelly ripa, marc consuelos, albert bianchini, jan chalet, seth bronqvist, roz therian, devin schneider, michael halperin, julia desch, and team radio andy, lisa mantineo, scott marlowe, jake goetz. And Doug. There's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show. Hey, everyone.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

Check out this guy and his bird.

[Kelly Ripa]

What is this, your first date? Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league anyways. Get a'@libertymutual.com or with your local agent. Liberty. Liberty.

[Hilaria Baldwin]

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[Kelly Ripa]

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