Jenny Mollen: Off The Rails

Summary

Let's Talk Off Camera with Kelly Ripa

Episode Summary: "Jenny Mollen: Off The Rails"

Date: June 24, 2026
Host: Kelly Ripa
Guest: Jenny Mollen
Panelists: Mark Consuelos, Albert Bianchini, Roz Therian, Jan Chile

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Overview

This lively, unfiltered episode of “Let’s Talk Off Camera” welcomes Jenny Mollen—actress, author, mom-fluencer, and substack writer—for a hilariously candid conversation that goes "off the rails." The crew dives deep into everything from cosmetic surgery and body image, to the struggles of motherhood, solo travel, psychedelic experiences, and the perils of honest writing. Throughout, there is a spirit of supportive absurdity, with wild confessions, intimate health details, and irreverent humor—a true “show that goes on in my head when the cameras stop rolling.”

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Table of Contents

1. Introductions & Opening Banter
2. Women’s Bodies and Cosmetic Surgery
3. Motherhood, Solo Travel & Self-Discovery
4. Psychedelic Experiences with Ayahuasca
5. Honesty, Writing & The Best Friend Experience (Substack)
6. Intimate Personal Stories & Relationships
7. GLP-1 Peptide Incident & Health Scares
8. Quotes & Notable Moments

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1. Introductions & Opening Banter <a name="opener"></a>

Timestamps: 01:01–05:00

• The episode kicks off with a raucous roundtable: car alarms, city noise, and playful teasing.
• The team jokes about replacing podcast music with NYC car alarms and jackhammers for ambiance.
• They tease upcoming topics: orgasms, vaginal surgery, and Jenny’s famous social media openness:
  • “She posts about everything, Albert. Like, she literally will show everything.” – Roz (05:32)
• Laughter over boob jobs, body image, and social media sharing sets the tone for a no-holds-barred chat.

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2. Women’s Bodies and Cosmetic Surgery <a name="surgery"></a>

Timestamps: 05:00–13:00, 34:10–42:04

• Open talk about breast augmentations, labiaplasty, and small vs. large boobs—peppered with personal anecdotes.
• Jenny shares her journey with body alterations:
  • “He said, oh, definitely. He’s like, I could do a full face on you. I’m like, really? Okay.” – Kelly (10:46)
  • “I have to DM you. I told you on DM that I booked Timberlake.” – Jenny (10:04)
• The infamous “lopsided labia” story, which leads to humor and real reflection on body image standards:
  • “I thought I had two vagina lips. And really there’s just one vagina lip.” – Kelly (36:36)
  • “Just lob the other side off…Make them even.” – Jenny (37:36)
• Discussion on the normalization of cosmetic procedures, how partners respond, and the magic of “doll vaginas” in Austria’s nude spas.

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3. Motherhood, Solo Travel & Self-Discovery <a name="travel"></a>

Timestamps: 15:14–22:47

• Jenny recounts traveling alone to Morocco, initially driven by a fight on Etsy about Moroccan rugs and a need to connect directly with women weavers.
  • “I went because I was on this journey to figure out my motherhood and prove myself to my son…and just, like, in the throes of postpartum.” – Jenny (19:47)
• The trip, laced with both danger and self-empowerment, becomes a personal test of strength.
• Jenny explains she sought out external challenges (like travel) as a displacement for the internal fears around motherhood.
  • “I think I wanted to be scared, I think because, like, motherhood was so scary to me.” – Jenny (21:52)

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4. Psychedelic Experiences with Ayahuasca <a name="ayahuasca"></a>

Timestamps: 22:11–26:53

• Jenny details her ayahuasca journey in Peru, guided by a shaman, tripping with Chelsea Handler for a Netflix show:
  • “I was having diarrhea the whole time, vomiting…a little shaman beating me over the head with sticks, and I was tripping my brains out. I saw my entire childhood laid out before me.” – Jenny (22:29)
• Contrasts are drawn between Jenny’s extreme trips and Chelsea’s non-reaction (humor: “Chelsea felt nothing.”).
• Vivid discussion about losing control and what “breakthrough” feels like, with lots of poop and puke humor.
• Takeaway: Ayahuasca provided a cathartic, personal revelation for Jenny regarding self-acceptance as a mother.
  • “Sid was so young, but he…came to me…and said, ‘You’re already enough, because you’re my mother.’ Those were words I desperately needed.” – Jenny (28:08)

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5. Honesty, Writing & The Best Friend Experience (Substack) <a name="substack"></a>

Timestamps: 29:55–32:58

• Jenny’s writing career and her popular substack, “The Best Friend Experience,” are explored.
  • “It started, I had a substack initially with Diablo Cody. The idea was almost like truth or dare—but there’s no dare, you have to tell the truth.” – Jenny (30:43)
• She discusses honesty as both an asset and a liability in her writing, and how the internet punishes authenticity.
  • “We live in a world now so overrun by artifice, that when you are actually honest, it triggers people in a really unique way.” – Albert (30:31)
• Jenny uses substack as a “rabbit hole ride through my brain,” sharing her obsessions, travels, and thoughts with readers.

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6. Intimate Personal Stories & Relationships <a name="relationships"></a>

Timestamps: 32:59–42:58

• Jenny gets candid about her relationship status after separation from Jason Biggs, focusing on co-parenting and friendship.
  • “We’re…in a really good place…He’s going to be my best friend. I’ll always take care of him.” – Jenny (33:39)
• There’s group empathy as the panel shares stories about the emotional toll of divorce, parenting, and the importance of civility for children.

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7. GLP-1 Peptide Incident & Health Scares <a name="glp1"></a>

Timestamps: 46:31–53:20

• Jenny reveals a harrowing health scare after microdosing GLP-1 peptides (popular for weight loss/inflammation). She suffered intense hemorrhaging, fainting, and a dramatic trip to the ER.
  • “I was microdosing the GLPs, I was also taking other peptides...suddenly I was like hemorrhaging…blood clots the size of dinosaur eggs.” – Jenny (46:39)
  • “I thought I was in an after-school special, like you don’t know you’re pregnant and there’s just a baby right in the toilet.” – Jenny (47:22)
• Vivid retelling of passing out, being strapped to a gurney, and hiding the trauma from her son.
• Panel shares their own ER stories in solidarity, adding a slapstick edge.

---

8. Quotes & Notable Moments <a name="quotes"></a>

Memorable Quotes & Timestamps:

• “I know that you are tight. I know you were curious about all of that, but everything is fine.” – Albert (03:51)
• “He takes small boobs and makes them small.” – Jan (05:40)
• “Smoking is back in? It’s like the last thing I never thought I’d see.” – Kelly (08:17)
• “I love her brain.” – Jan (13:04)
• “I think I wanted to be scared, I think because, like, motherhood was so scary to me.” – Jenny (21:52)
• “You’re already enough, because you’re my mother.” – Jenny (28:08)
• “The substack…is just like a ride through my brain, because I get bored easily.” – Jenny (31:14)
• “I went to Austria with my girlfriends…and all of them, walking around with little doll vaginas." – Jenny (36:15)
• “I would do it again. It was incredible. A surreal vision.” [re: Ayahuasca] (27:53)
• “We live in a world now so overrun by artifice that when you are actually honest, it triggers people…” – Albert (30:31)
• “He’s going to be my best friend…I’ll always take care of him.” – Jenny (33:39)
• “Blood clots the size of dinosaur eggs. It was so scary.” – Jenny (46:39)

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Overall Tone & Style

• Irreverent, intimate, and sharply funny: No subject is off-limits, with the crew riffing off one another’s confessions.
• Unfiltered honesty: Jenny thrives in this arena, sharing details that are as meaningful as they are absurd.
• Supportive and self-deprecating: The conversation is full of mutual encouragement, even when poking fun—nobody takes themselves too seriously.
• Meta-humor and camaraderie: The lines between “on camera” and “off camera” are blurred, inviting listeners into the friendship circle.

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Summary

This episode is a wild, hilarious, and heartfelt ride—covering everything from body image, vaginal surgery, and perimenopausal horror stories, to solo world travel, ayahuasca revelations, traumatic ER trips, and the confessional power of honest writing. Jenny Mollen’s openness, combined with Kelly Ripa’s and the panel’s comedic honesty, make for a liberating listen about how messy, laughable, and survivable womanhood can be.

Recommended for:
Fans of unfiltered, women-centered humor; anyone curious about the vulnerabilities and absurdities of modern life, motherhood, and self-reinvention.

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For more unhinged honesty, check out Jenny’s substack “The Best Friend Experience.”

Transcript

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[Jenny Mullen]

I'm out of my mind and I'm looking on the ground and there's this beetle and then all of a sudden

[Kelly Ripa]

its arm looked up at me and starts waving and I'm like, oh my God, I'm definitely really fucked up because

[Jenny Mullen]

it's going to start talking if I

[Kelly Ripa]

don't get out of this bathroom.

[Albert Bianchini]

Somebody got to cue me or do I cue myself?

[Jenny Mullen]

Cue yourself.

[Albert Bianchini]

Okay.

[Mark Consuelos]

Why wave?

[Albert Bianchini]

This is the signal that we're starting. Yeah, it's time to start. Hey, hey everybody, guess what? It's time. It must be time to start the podcast because the car alarm is going on outside. That's right. How silent was it before I sat down?

[Mark Consuelos]

Lean towards the microphone.

[Albert Bianchini]

It's really wild. It's as if they know.

[Jan Chile]

Yeah, they know.

[Mark Consuelos]

She's in the seat.

[Jan Chile]

You know what we should do for forget the soundtrack to this show. Let's just have a series of car alarms.

[Jenny Mullen]

Car alarms.

[Mark Consuelos]

Ambulances.

[Albert Bianchini]

Ambulances.

[Jan Chile]

And fire trucks.

[Roz Therian]

And jackhammers. I mean, jackhammers are typical too.

[Jan Chile]

And jackhammers. Yes. Hi everyone. Welcome back to another episode of let's Talk off camera. We're going to talk you down from

[Albert Bianchini]

all the massive sounds on the city

[Jan Chile]

streets of New York where I record record this here podcast. Oh, it stopped.

[Mark Consuelos]

Stopped.

[Roz Therian]

See that sexy voice?

[Jan Chile]

This is what we have to do now, Jam. We have to talk sexy.

[Roz Therian]

Maybe Jenny will talk sexy with us.

[Albert Bianchini]

You think she'll talk sexy?

[Jan Chile]

I think she will.

[Roz Therian]

You know we gotta talk orgasms.

[Albert Bianchini]

No, what we have to do is

[Jan Chile]

talk about her vaginal surgery.

[Albert Bianchini]

Did you see this?

[Kelly Ripa]

No.

[Roz Therian]

She did vaginal surgery.

[Albert Bianchini]

Oh, go on her Instagram right now.

[Roz Therian]

Okay. She's again you know how I feel about this.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yes.

[Roz Therian]

Like she had a condition.

[Jan Chile]

She had a condition.

[Roz Therian]

What was the condition?

[Jan Chile]

I don't know.

[Roz Therian]

Okay, let's ask her when she gets on.

[Albert Bianchini]

We're going to talk to her when she gets on. But she had. She forced me to do something that I never do. She made me take a mirror and look at my.

[Jan Chile]

No, no place.

[Albert Bianchini]

Really? Yeah, because I needed to know for

[Jan Chile]

sure because she said she has one.

[Albert Bianchini]

One vulva lip that is significantly longer

[Jan Chile]

than the other one.

[Mark Consuelos]

Stop.

[Albert Bianchini]

There's a lot of asymmetry down there.

[Mark Consuelos]

Stop it.

[Albert Bianchini]

And the doctor was like, well, everybody has asymmetry down there. And she's like, no, they don't. Not like this. And then he was like, oh, okay. Well, you're right. And then.

[Roz Therian]

Wow.

[Albert Bianchini]

And so he gave her a snip.

[Jan Chile]

Snip.

[Mark Consuelos]

Oh, boy.

[Roz Therian]

Again, I would rather it on my face.

[Albert Bianchini]

Oh, 100%.

[Roz Therian]

If I'm gonna spend money, it needs to be where people are seeing it.

[Mark Consuelos]

There's so many things I want to say.

[Albert Bianchini]

I am just on a don't ask, don't tell policy with my vagina.

[Mark Consuelos]

A. Lips.

[Albert Bianchini]

I don't want to.

[Mark Consuelos]

Lips you don't want to.

[Albert Bianchini]

Lipstick, I don't want to. Lipsnip I don't need. And furthermore, I don't need a lip.

[Mark Consuelos]

You don't need a lipstick.

[Albert Bianchini]

I don't need a lipstick. I'm happy to report. You're welcome, everyone. I know that you are tight. I know you were curious about all of that, but everything is fine.

[Jenny Mullen]

It's.

[Albert Bianchini]

It's fine. I don't mean to oversell it. You know, it's cute. Definitely looks like a vagina, which I think. I think they're all kind of uncute, but I don't think penises are great either.

[Roz Therian]

No, they're definitely not.

[Albert Bianchini]

I like, you know, I. I mean, is this. Are you listening to this?

[Roz Therian]

I hope they're hearing this. The alarms are going off, though. It's like a horn. Just non stop.

[Albert Bianchini]

It's a non stop horn, guys. I. I'm sorry, it's.

[Jan Chile]

The fact that I don't suffer from

[Albert Bianchini]

migraines is a shame because at least I could run out there and go, I suffer from migraines. And then. And then. Well, they would do nothing. They would still have horns. Anyway. What was I saying? Oh, vaginas. Yeah. So I'm with you. I feel like unless it's happening to my face. Yeah, I'm not gonna bother. But I was curious. I was like, oh, my God. Maybe.

[Jan Chile]

Maybe what's going on down there is complete asymmetry, and I need to know.

[Albert Bianchini]

And so I real quick did the old. I didn't put it on the floor and squat like I did last time, because that's a horror show. What I did was I sat down and I went, whoop, hand mirror. And I was like, nope, fine, and walked away.

[Roz Therian]

Yeah.

[Mark Consuelos]

You didn't do it with your phone and take a pic that you could send around.

[Albert Bianchini]

Oh, yes, yes, yes, Albert.

[Roz Therian]

Let's post it on social media master list.

[Albert Bianchini]

Send, send, send.

[Mark Consuelos]

Come on. That'll be on the.

[Roz Therian]

Let's talk off camera.

[Mark Consuelos]

Everyone loves a lip pic.

[Roz Therian]

She posts about everything, Albert. Like, she literally will show everything.

[Kelly Ripa]

Everything.

[Mark Consuelos]

Wow.

[Jan Chile]

Yeah.

[Roz Therian]

On Instagram.

[Albert Bianchini]

She makes me want to get my boobs done. I did.

[Jan Chile]

I tell you. I showed you the pictures. I found a small boob doctor. He takes small boobs and makes them small.

[Albert Bianchini]

He takes small boobs, but he makes those.

[Roz Therian]

Not doing this.

[Albert Bianchini]

Well, I'll show you the pictures. I sent them to Gelman because he's like, you're not doing that. And I was like, send. He's like, did you just send that to my work email? I was like, yes.

[Mark Consuelos]

Are you kidding?

[Albert Bianchini]

Okay. That's the only difference I want. I want small made small. I want small and saggy made small.

[Roz Therian]

I like that side view better. That's better.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah. I mean, if he can take her to that. Those are gazungas, as far as I'm concerned. And that's like an egg cup.

[Royal Caribbean Commercial Voice]

I think you're perfect the way you are.

[Jan Chile]

You're gay.

[Mark Consuelos]

Is Mark.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yay.

[Mark Consuelos]

Has your husband been requesting these gazungas?

[Albert Bianchini]

No. Okay. But here's what I know about. Here's what I know about Gaz.

[Mark Consuelos]

That's a good book title.

[Albert Bianchini]

All men. At least the good ones say the same. They say, you're perfect the way you are. You don't need breast implants. I'm a thigh man. I'm a buttman. All that crap they say. All the crap. And all of my girlfriends whose husbands were thigh buttman.

[Jan Chile]

I like.

[Albert Bianchini]

You know, I like you the way you are. You don't now they're gazunga men. Now they're like gazongas.

[Roz Therian]

Have you seen Glenn brought me to the surgeon.

[Albert Bianchini]

He did. See, I should have married Glenn, but then I'd be in hell right now.

[Mark Consuelos]

Did you see Madonna's gazungas on Instagram yesterday?

[Albert Bianchini]

No. Show me the gazongas.

[Mark Consuelos]

God.

[Albert Bianchini]

I told I was not on Instagram yesterday. I was busy.

[Mark Consuelos]

Anyway, I could show it to you. We got to get to where she was upside down. They were hanging. A lot of people very upset about it.

[Albert Bianchini]

Oh, well, people are upset all the time about everything. That's not why they're upset. They're upset because she's smoking.

[Jan Chile]

Oh, she's on. Oh, my gosh.

[Albert Bianchini]

Look. Look how good she looks.

[Jan Chile]

There you go.

[Kelly Ripa]

Hi.

[Albert Bianchini]

Hi, gorgeous. We're talking about.

[Kelly Ripa]

How are you?

[Albert Bianchini]

We're talking about Madonna's titties. First we were talking about your titties, now we're talking about Madonna's titties.

[Mark Consuelos]

Madonna's titties.

[Jenny Mullen]

Ultimately, are they amazing?

[Albert Bianchini]

I think they look amazing. They always look amazing. But Albert said people are upset. Upset over this because she showed her titties. And I was like, they're upset because she's smoking. That's why she's upset.

[Jenny Mullen]

Oh, that's hilarious.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah.

[Roz Therian]

Oh, yeah.

[Jenny Mullen]

She's like. She's like, on the smoking kick because now people are, like, into smoking again. How did smoking become cool again?

[Albert Bianchini]

I'm going to tell you. How do we do? Smoke that cigarette on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and then suddenly change everyone. Smoking became healthy again.

[Kelly Ripa]

It's so weird that smoking is back in. It's like the last thing I never thought I'd see.

[Albert Bianchini]

It drives me crazy, too. It drives me craz because I will get my hair done, and it's like, salon fresh. Like, fresh dye job. Smells so good. I love that smell. Like, I love that smell.

[Mazda Commercial Voice]

Love that smell.

[Jan Chile]

Right?

[Albert Bianchini]

I love it. I love it. And then I walk by a person 30ft away smoking a cigarette, and now my hair smells like cigarettes for five days.

[Kelly Ripa]

Like, you've been at, like, Limelight all night.

[Albert Bianchini]

Exactly. 100% limelight. So anyway, I'm talking to Jan about. I've been investigating breast augmentations. Like, never once are you gonna do it. I wanna do it, but here's my concern. Ready for my concern?

[Jenny Mullen]

Yeah.

[Albert Bianchini]

My concern is I've been told by no less than five different doctors that

[Jan Chile]

once you do it, you have to

[Albert Bianchini]

commit to swapping them out every decade or so.

[Jenny Mullen]

No, I had the same implants for, like, 20 years. I've only swapped them out once.

[Albert Bianchini]

Okay, but why did you have to swap them out or.

[Jenny Mullen]

No, they were fine. I just did it because I was doing a lift.

[Jan Chile]

Okay, We've been lied to.

[Albert Bianchini]

So we've been lied to by plastic surgeons. Are they just.

[Jenny Mullen]

You will not. You'll be fine.

[Albert Bianchini]

What if I get that capsular contraction?

[Jenny Mullen]

No, literally, none of this ever happens. People are tripping.

[Albert Bianchini]

Really?

[Jenny Mullen]

Yes.

[Albert Bianchini]

Have you heard of this guy, Dr. Kolker? He takes small titty girls. Yeah, he get. He takes girls with small titties and he makes them still small.

[Jenny Mullen]

I think Stacy just did this. I can. I'll send you pictures of her boobs after this.

[Albert Bianchini]

Will you? Do you swear? Okay. Cuz I swear to God, I think he's.

[Jenny Mullen]

Somebody text. Text me your number and I'll. I'll send them to you.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fact that we don't have each other's phone numbers as well.

[Jenny Mullen]

I know. It bothers me that I have to DM you. I told you on DM that I booked Timberlake.

[Jan Chile]

You did?

[Kelly Ripa]

Yes.

[Jenny Mullen]

Because, like, of your recommendation.

[Jan Chile]

I never.

[Jenny Mullen]

About Rosenberg.

[Albert Bianchini]

Rosenberg and Timberlake.

[Jan Chile]

Those are the guys. They are.

[Kelly Ripa]

I.

[Jenny Mullen]

They got December. December 18th.

[Albert Bianchini]

December 18th. Can I come with you?

[Kelly Ripa]

What are you doing? I was begging you on dm.

[Albert Bianchini]

Like, I never check my dms. I never look at dms. I swear to God, I am the worst person on social media.

[Jan Chile]

Wait.

[Jenny Mullen]

I want to show them your face

[Kelly Ripa]

and be like, give me this.

[Albert Bianchini]

I can take. I can. But I'm looking at you and I'm not sure what you're going to do, like, what you're going to improve upon.

[Kelly Ripa]

I want to do the neck.

[Albert Bianchini]

I. I'm just telling you, they may

[Jan Chile]

send you away for five years.

[Kelly Ripa]

They didn't. He goes, oh, definitely. He's like, I could do a full face on you. I'm like, really? Okay.

[Albert Bianchini]

He said, that way I have to say, like, I need to see you in person.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah.

[Jenny Mullen]

I want you to examine me.

[Kelly Ripa]

That's what I've been saying in DM to you.

[Albert Bianchini]

Oh, sorry. I. Like, I gotta check my DMs. I should turn on notifications. I won't.

[Kelly Ripa]

Really.

[Albert Bianchini]

I won't do it. I'm back. We're text. We're gonna have, like, a real. We're gonna have a real relationship. All right, so we're doing this backwards because typically I do your intro while you're not here because people get uncomfortable when we. When we dab them up. But you're just gonna pretend that you're not listening.

[Kelly Ripa]

All right, I'll pretend I'm not listening.

[Albert Bianchini]

Albert and Jan.

[Roz Therian]

Yes.

[Albert Bianchini]

My guest. Today's huge.

[Mark Consuelos]

Huge.

[Albert Bianchini]

And I mean, like, this is a literary darling.

[Roz Therian]

Yes.

[Albert Bianchini]

This is anybody. Any asshole like me can get on

[Jan Chile]

the New York Times bestsellers list. Okay?

[Albert Bianchini]

People just get curious. They're like, oh, TVs Kelly Ripa wrote a book. Let Me pick that up and see what that's about.

[Jan Chile]

But this is a two time. Two time New York Times bestselling authority.

[Albert Bianchini]

She's an actress.

[Jan Chile]

She's the original mom fluencer.

[Roz Therian]

Before there was.

[Albert Bianchini]

Right before that was a thing. Yeah, she's the original. She's the one. She also turned her kids packed lunches. Thank God she was not a mom when I was a mom. I mean, I'm still a mom, but thank God when I was a mom. Yeah. You know what I mean? Thank God. Thank God this was not happening when I was a mom of young kids.

[Jan Chile]

Thank God she turned her kids packed lunches into a cookbook.

[Albert Bianchini]

They're artwork. It's artwork. It's works of art. My kids would have died. They would have been like, remember when you and Kyle took care of my kids for the weekend? And then they asked if they could live with you if you die? They'd be like, can we live with Jenny if you die?

[Mark Consuelos]

That food looks good.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah. So she's also the writer behind she's got a substack. Did you know that?

[Roz Therian]

Yes.

[Jan Chile]

Which David Muir said the funniest thing.

[Albert Bianchini]

A friend of ours said, what's substack? And he goes, oh, it's onlyfans for smart people. So her substack is called the Best Friend Experience, which she describes herself as like a rabbit hole ride through her brain.

[Jan Chile]

I love her brain. Yeah, she's the brain.

[Roz Therian]

It's the Instagram feed.

[Albert Bianchini]

I love. Oh, God, it's so good. I want to talk about her vagina, too. Anyway, she is so simply hilarious. We love her so much.

[Jan Chile]

And we should bring her on right now.

[Roz Therian]

Let's do it.

[Albert Bianchini]

Right. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm talking about. I'm going to. Ladies and gentlemen, ladies, ladies and the four men listening to this podcast. Two who are in this room, who. Two who happen to be stuck here by their profession. I'm talking about Jenny Mullen.

[Jenny Mullen]

Hi, guys.

[Roz Therian]

Hi.

[Kelly Ripa]

Thank you for having me.

[Albert Bianchini]

Happy, happy belated birthday.

[Kelly Ripa]

Thank you.

[Albert Bianchini]

Are you a Gemini?

[Kelly Ripa]

I'm a Gemini. Does that. Does that turn you off?

[Albert Bianchini]

No, I have two Geminis. My son's birthday is the day that we are recording this podcast, and my daughter's birthday is in two weeks. I have two Geminis. Like, having four kids for the price of two.

[Kelly Ripa]

That's amazing. That's amazing.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah. I love it.

[Kelly Ripa]

I am a true Gemini.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah. So, you know, one day, Jenny Mullen was filling in for me on the show. I don't know where I was, what I was doing. Maybe I was like picking up my

[Jan Chile]

niece from college or dropping her off at college.

[Albert Bianchini]

I can't remember what I was doing, but I wasn't there. And I saw Jenny on TV in the airport. I think it must have been the airport. Cause I like, I'm not like, I'm not a regular viewer of my show because I typically am at work when my show is on. So I the show and I was like, oh my God, this must be like an old episode. I look amazing. And then I realized it was Mark and Jenny, but I really over inflated my own sense of self love.

[Roz Therian]

Can I give Jenny props for a second? Because I think I was producing her for that. Not that we have to produce her, but it was producing her for that. And I commented on her dress how much I loved it. And when I walked back in the dressing room afterwards, it was there hanging for me with a note saying like, this is for you. And it was the nicest. This thing.

[Albert Bianchini]

That is really nice.

[Roz Therian]

So props to you, Jenny.

[Albert Bianchini]

How dare you spoil the producers that way. I give them nothing and they love it. That's incredible. What, what kind of dress was it? It was, it wasn't a dress that you borrowed for press. Was.

[Kelly Ripa]

Was something I stole? No, I think it was Alison Olivia.

[Albert Bianchini]

Oh, amazing. And you're really good friends with her, right?

[Jenny Mullen]

And I'm great friends with Stacy.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yes.

[Albert Bianchini]

So have you unpacked from your Italy trip?

[Jenny Mullen]

Yes, I'm somewhat unpacked.

[Albert Bianchini]

Are you still on Italy time?

[Jenny Mullen]

No, I actually never got on Italy time. I feel like I stayed on New York time. But that's always the best. Because I'm not somebody who can like stay out late and party. But when I'm in Europe, I give people the impression that I can like rage till three in the morning.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah, because you're on New York time.

[Kelly Ripa]

It's like 6:00pm Exactly. Yeah.

[Albert Bianchini]

Did you discover the hot priest calendar?

[Jenny Mullen]

Oh my God, I found the hot priest calendar.

[Albert Bianchini]

How many?

[Roz Therian]

That was.

[Jenny Mullen]

Oh, I thought you were gonna say how many did I have sex with?

[Albert Bianchini]

How many did you? How many?

[Kelly Ripa]

Oh my God, you have it.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yes, I do.

[Kelly Ripa]

Kelly. I'm dead.

[Jenny Mullen]

How do you already have the hot priest calendar?

[Albert Bianchini]

My nephew got married in Italy and so my cousin in law, because I made the mistake, never do this, of putting in the family group text. I was the second to last who arrived to this wedding because everybody was there like for the full week leading up to the wedding and I had to work. So I came in on Thursday morning. So I sent a group text if anybody Needs anything from the States, let me know. Well, I got like. I got a list of things. I got a list of things that people needed. Anyway, so I brought her a magnifying mirror that lights up so she could see herself to put makeup on. And she gave me a hot priest calendar as a thank you present.

[Kelly Ripa]

As a thank you, yes. But amazing.

[Albert Bianchini]

I found out some controversy. Yeah, there's a lot of controversy.

[Jenny Mullen]

Oh, are they not real priests?

[Jan Chile]

Yeah, they're not real priests.

[Albert Bianchini]

Surprising. Surprising no one.

[Kelly Ripa]

Although I think it devastates me.

[Jan Chile]

I think a couple of them are hot priests.

[Mark Consuelos]

There can't be that many.

[Albert Bianchini]

There's not that many.

[Jenny Mullen]

They literally said to me while I was there, all of these are real.

[Mark Consuelos]

Go to the back page where you

[Jenny Mullen]

can see them all.

[Albert Bianchini]

I know this is. They say, yeah, they're all here. But I do believe this guy used to be on General Hospital.

[Kelly Ripa]

I could have worked with this guy once.

[Albert Bianchini]

I was like, I think I worked with him. I'm pretty sure. So I don't even know if he thinks, if he's aware that this exists. This could be his headshot.

[Kelly Ripa]

That's just a headshot from Ray the retouchers.

[Albert Bianchini]

But there's one. There's one. The November priest is not hot. We all agree that the November priest was like a murder. Like, I was like, oh, and I guess he's the real priest. He's probably the real priest.

[Kelly Ripa]

He's the only real priest involved. Yeah, he actually made the calendar.

[Albert Bianchini]

But they've got like a priest. They've got a priest here, like, holding a Bible. They've got a priest here taking a selfie. They've got a priest here accepting communion from a woman. Like some.

[Kelly Ripa]

Oh, my God.

[Albert Bianchini]

Some woman's hand is giving the priest communion. And he's like, it's crazy. There's another priest taking a selfie, like in the Vatican.

[Mark Consuelos]

That guy is not a real priest, by the way.

[Albert Bianchini]

What. What's his name?

[Mark Consuelos]

His name is Giovanni Galizia. Yeah, he's featured on the COVID But he was actually a 17 year old student back when he posed for it in 2004.

[Jenny Mullen]

17?

[Kelly Ripa]

What?

[Albert Bianchini]

In 2004.

[Roz Therian]

Don't you feel gross?

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah, I feel gross.

[Kelly Ripa]

Wow.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah. He's a 17 year old. So to be clear, he went on

[Mark Consuelos]

to become a flight attendant. I'm dead.

[Kelly Ripa]

Oh, God. There's a final cross paths with him.

[Albert Bianchini]

I mean, there's so. There's so much to go on. But did you pick yourself up a hot piece of calendar?

[Jenny Mullen]

Yeah, I actually did not. I Was, you know, I felt guilty.

[Albert Bianchini]

You're too Jewish. You're too Jewish.

[Kelly Ripa]

I'm too Jewish to hang that in my house next to my mizus.

[Albert Bianchini]

Jewish guilt overrode your need to feel Catholic guilt.

[Kelly Ripa]

Exactly.

[Jenny Mullen]

A hot rabbi calendar I might have gone for.

[Albert Bianchini]

So in your book, Live Fast and Die Hot, by the way, wait till you get to this age where you're sitting on this pillow. Okay. You wrote about traveling solo through Morocco.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yes.

[Albert Bianchini]

Tell me about that. Because I went to Morocco. I was in Tangier, I was in America. I was in Tangier. I was with a large group of. But I found it daunting. Even with a large group and, like, tour guides taking us through. I can't imagine going to Morocco solo. What was that like?

[Jenny Mullen]

Well, it was scary at first. I went because I, you know, I was on this, like, journey to sort of figure out my motherhood and, like, prove myself to my son. And just, like, in the throes of postpartum, I got in a fight with this guy on Etsy who was selling these Moroccan rugs because, you know, I had that, like, sort of, I don't know, midlife crisis where I'm like, I'm gonna, like, be my own interior decorator.

[Kelly Ripa]

You start buying a lot of textiles. Yeah.

[Jenny Mullen]

So I get in a fight with this guy on Etsy, and I do some digging, and I'm realizing that, like, all of these women weavers in the. In the mountains aren't actually getting paid for their work.

[Jan Chile]

Right.

[Jenny Mullen]

So it's like these guys are paying in cotton, and then the women are just giving them more rugs, and then they bring them to the medina. And the middleman, like, just. Yeah. Sort of rapes and pillages. So I'm like, I'm going to go to Morocco and I'm going to meet these weavers. I'm going to go meet these women and buy a rug directly from them.

[Kelly Ripa]

Do not ask what I was thinking,

[Jenny Mullen]

because I literally don't know. So I get to Morocco, and these two friends of mine, my friends Raymond and Brian, they met me over there, and they're, like, very bougie. Like, they did not want to go on this trip, but I have forced them. We're in the mountains. We're in the middle of nowhere. We slept in this. This sort of the side of this mountain that had, like. No. You could see the sky.

[Jan Chile]

Yeah.

[Jenny Mullen]

From inside the room, it looked like maybe Osama bin Laden might have been hiding out there. Is night of my life, I couldn't sleep. But I met The Weavers. I got to the top of the Atlas Mountains. I'm like, I'm here, guys.

[Albert Bianchini]

And then here I am, here to give you money.

[Kelly Ripa]

I'm gonna liberate you with my American cash. Yeah.

[Jenny Mullen]

And it was. It was really a crazy adventure. I felt like I was, like, in Homeland or something.

[Kelly Ripa]

Like, it was.

[Jenny Mullen]

Got so scary, but it was wild.

[Albert Bianchini]

It was a really fun time. I'm a good solo traveler. Like, I do it frequently. I travel alone a lot. I usually meet up with either my daughter or a friend or, like, I meet up with somebody when I get to my destination. But I don't think I could have gone to Morocco by myself. That was. That was daunting to me.

[Jenny Mullen]

I think I wanted to be scared, I think because, like, motherhood was so scary to me. I wanted to feel, like, fear over something else. Like, I was. I wanted. I needed to just get away from whatever, you know, I was running from at home. And I thought that, like, that would, like, make me stronger somehow.

[Jan Chile]

Yeah.

[Albert Bianchini]

Did it?

[Jenny Mullen]

I didn't feel it until I was, like, in Peru doing ayahuasca with Chelsea Handler, which happened a few months later. Then I kind of got it.

[Albert Bianchini]

I love that you were. Chelsea Handler would be the only person that could convince me to take ayahuasca. Although I hear that you vomit and sometimes poop your pants.

[Jenny Mullen]

No, I was having diarrhea the whole time, vomiting. There was, like, a little shaman beating me over the head with sticks, and I was tripping my brains out. I saw, like, my entire childhood laid out before me. Chelsea felt nothing. But we were also being filmed for Netflix. So, like, if anybody wants to see this, it's on Netflix. It's on Netflix.

[Albert Bianchini]

So wait, here's my question, though. So I don't know what's worse, like, going back to your childhood, shitting or vomiting. Like, what it was the worst part.

[Jan Chile]

This month on Acorn TV's murder mystery May, you have to check out yout're Killing Me with the absolutely iconic Brooke Shields. Brooke stars as a mystery novelist who teams up with a young true crime

[Albert Bianchini]

podcaster played by Amalia Williamson, to solve small town murder. The dynamic between them is so fun that you get this classic whodunit with

[Jan Chile]

a little edge and really witty banter. Stream all episodes of you're Killing Me only on Acorn tv. Learn more at Acorn tv.

[Albert Bianchini]

Macy's style experts are translating Runway trends

[Jan Chile]

into real life looks this season, spotlighting

[Albert Bianchini]

tropical fantasy, golden hour, glow and must

[Jan Chile]

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[Albert Bianchini]

From sheer fabrics, flowing silhouettes and radiant metallics to asymmetry and modern crochet.

[Jan Chile]

These trends capture dreamy oceans and sunlit escapes.

[Albert Bianchini]

Smart accessories like woven bags, jelly sandals, headscarves and layered jewelry elevate every look, bringing effortless, glowing style to every summer moment. Shop now in store or@macy's.com Change up

[Jan Chile]

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[Albert Bianchini]

And you know I'm already a huge

[Jan Chile]

fan because for every product you purchase, Thrive donates products and funds to 550 plus nonprofits and uplift their communities. Now that's beauty with a purpose. Amplify your spring look with Thrive cosmetics. Go to thrivecosmetics.com off camera for an

[Albert Bianchini]

exclusive offer of 20% off your first order.

[Jan Chile]

That's Thrive Cosmetics. C-A U S E M E T-I C S.com off camera.

[Albert Bianchini]

So I don't know what's worse, like going back to your childhood, shitting or vomiting. Like, what? It was the worst part.

[Jenny Mullen]

The worst part was the shitting? Yeah, for sure, for sure.

[Albert Bianchini]

Do you just where you are or is there like.

[Jenny Mullen]

No, there were these little like outhouse stalls that they built for us. And then at one point I'm like, look, I'm, I'm out of my mind and I'm looking on the ground and there's this beetle.

[Kelly Ripa]

And then all of a sudden his arm looked up at me and starts waving and I'm like, oh my God, I'm definitely really fucked up because it's gonna start talking if I don't get

[Jenny Mullen]

out of this bathroom.

[Albert Bianchini]

What? Are you even sure there was a beetle there? I mean, that's the other thing.

[Kelly Ripa]

No, honestly, in retrospect, who knows? It could have just been the shaman.

[Albert Bianchini]

But you were not like. But you were still able to like, okay, I'm going to get really disgusting now, Jan, you're going to have to edit the shit out of this.

[Jan Chile]

Were you able to wipe yourself?

[Jenny Mullen]

Yes, completely.

[Albert Bianchini]

So you still have the Ability to know.

[Jenny Mullen]

Yes. It's almost like mushrooms in the sense of, like, I don't know. Let's just pretend that you've tried cocaine and you've been drunk before. We don't have to say whether you have or you haven't, but that's kind of what it feels like. It doesn't feel like with cocaine. It doesn't feel like you're, like, stoned. You know, when you're, like, in, like, a. Just like, I'm so stoned. I'm, like, in a bubble. I can't find myself. Like, I've eaten something I shouldn't have.

[Albert Bianchini]

Okay.

[Jenny Mullen]

It's not that feeling. You feel still, like, pretty coherent, in control, even though you're hallucinating.

[Kelly Ripa]

It's crazy. Did I sell you guys on it?

[Jenny Mullen]

Is everybody ready to go?

[Kelly Ripa]

Take it.

[Albert Bianchini]

Have you ever hallucinated, Jan?

[Roz Therian]

Yes, when I took the pot gummies.

[Albert Bianchini]

Oh, yes. Jan took pot gummies, but by mistake. By mistake. They were like 50 milligrams each. 50 milligrams each.

[Roz Therian]

I took two of them, and I tripped my ass off for two days.

[Albert Bianchini]

And she couldn't.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yes, Jan. And you can't get out of it.

[Jenny Mullen]

Like, a day later, you're like, I'm still tired.

[Kelly Ripa]

It's so scary.

[Albert Bianchini]

So Glenn, her husband, had to drag her through the airport. And you know the face scanners where you have to, like, look into the. You have to look. Jan kept putting her fingers up to the face scanners. You know how it says, look, look here with the two circles? Jen was putting her fingers into the holes, and they were like, ma', am, put your hand down.

[Jenny Mullen]

But if I was dead, If I was like.

[Roz Therian]

Well, I was throwing up then, too, but. But this was not. Like, I didn't ask for it. Like, you were asking for this.

[Kelly Ripa]

I know I was asking for it. It's true.

[Albert Bianchini]

So would you do it again or you would not do it again?

[Jenny Mullen]

I would. I would do it again. No, it was incredible because. Yeah, it was this surreal vision where, like, you know, Sid was so young, but it. He was like. He came to me and he's saying to me, like, you're already enough. Like, you're enough, because you're my mother.

[Albert Bianchini]

Like, you're already there.

[Jenny Mullen]

And those were words that I desperately needed to hear at that point in time. Because I think my greatest fear in becoming a mother was like, how am I going to be the mom I always wanted when I didn't have the mom I always wanted? Like, how will I do it when, like, I Wasn't written with that ink. And it. It really did help me.

[Albert Bianchini]

That's a really deep thing. I wonder if they actually got Sid

[Jan Chile]

to go there and just send him out.

[Kelly Ripa]

It was like central casting.

[Albert Bianchini]

Tell your mom.

[Kelly Ripa]

Your mom. It was a little Peruvian child.

[Albert Bianchini]

Your mom doesn't feel well right now. But mommy's sick.

[Kelly Ripa]

Mommy's sick.

[Albert Bianchini]

The beetle. The beetle is suddenly Sid.

[Roz Therian]

Totally.

[Albert Bianchini]

Completely. So is this right that your doorman has some views about your use of the gym in your building?

[Kelly Ripa]

Yes, Kelly, if you were here doing your dancing, which is like, on another level.

[Jan Chile]

Well, no.

[Kelly Ripa]

He would be raging.

[Albert Bianchini]

He'd be raging. Tell me why he would rage. Because I love it. I love.

[Kelly Ripa]

I love because he thinks that I'm

[Jenny Mullen]

using the gym incorrectly. He's like, you're not on the machinery. You're flying around. It's dangerous. There are things in there where you could get hurt. I know that you're left handed and

[Kelly Ripa]

clumsy and sort of pigeon toed. Like, you should not be doing that in there. There are other tenants you could hurt.

[Roz Therian]

She was just dancing. She's just dancing.

[Albert Bianchini]

No, I know that, but I can't imagine like a doorman weighing in on that. Like, you're doing it wrong.

[Roz Therian]

Meanwhile, she was like, watching her the

[Albert Bianchini]

whole time on the couch. He's having a good time watching you, that's for sure.

[Kelly Ripa]

He's always keeping an eye on me.

[Albert Bianchini]

So for those of our listeners, Jenny, that don't have substack, and I highly recommend substack to everyone out there in

[Jan Chile]

the world who is like, using your

[Albert Bianchini]

phone for evil and not good. You should go over to substack.

[Jan Chile]

You could learn a thing or two.

[Albert Bianchini]

But take us inside your substack because you're an amazing writer.

[Jenny Mullen]

Thank you.

[Albert Bianchini]

And, and, and you have thoughts about everything.

[Jenny Mullen]

Yes, yes. I feel like I have to like, write everything down.

[Albert Bianchini]

You're very honest.

[Jenny Mullen]

I try to be honest.

[Roz Therian]

Yeah.

[Jenny Mullen]

And, but I think that, like, sometimes it gets me in a lot of trouble. Like, as I'm sure you've Same.

[Albert Bianchini]

Same. People hate honesty. I think that we.

[Jenny Mullen]

They can't handle it.

[Albert Bianchini]

I'm going to tell you something.

[Jan Chile]

We live in a world now so

[Albert Bianchini]

overrun by artifice that when you are actually honest, it triggers people in a really unique way. It really upsets them.

[Mark Consuelos]

Them.

[Jenny Mullen]

It's wild. It's wild. It's so sad to me. And it's also like, I don't know, I mean, I have a whole, like, theory also about just like women hating women and, and how like we just like really love to, like, bring each other down. But the. The sub stack is, you know, it started out, I had a sub stack initially with Diablo Cody, where Diablo. Diablo and I would go back and forth. It was, tell me, can I ask you a personal question? And it was almost like Truth or Dare, where, like, I ask, but there.

[Kelly Ripa]

There's no, like, opting out.

[Jenny Mullen]

There's no dare. You have to tell the truth. So she would ask me a question, I would answer, and then I would ask her a question. And after about a year of that, I said to her, I think I want to do another sub stack where I can just, like, get into, like, you know, I don't know, more of the things that waylay me. You know, I want to get into these, like, I'm going to Hong Kong on this, like, journey to, like, meet all of these weird watch dealers. I'm gonna go to Korea and do, like, every procedure that I can get my hands on. And so it's that. And that was, like, why I. I sort of say that it's. It's sort of just like a ride through my brain because I do think that I get bored easily. And then I become, like, hyper fixated on something new. And I needed a place, an outlet where I could write about all of those things. And it didn't need to make sense. It didn't need to be a book that could, like, be, you know, all under one umbrella. It's like, this is just, today I'm here, and tomorrow I'm here, and now I'm going to, you know, try this. And sometimes there are links to buying clothes. Sometimes it's just videos of me with random people I meet on the street? It can be anything.

[Albert Bianchini]

And when you meet random people on the street, is there ever, like, a moment where you are talking to somebody and you're like, like, how do I. How do I extract myself from this landmine?

[Jenny Mullen]

Oh, my God. Yes. All the time.

[Kelly Ripa]

Constantly. Constantly.

[Jenny Mullen]

And then I'm stuck. And I'm like, I guess I'm on the journey. I guess I'm just gonna take the

[Kelly Ripa]

journey with this person.

[Jenny Mullen]

I get.

[Kelly Ripa]

I don't know.

[Jenny Mullen]

Like, I mean, we. When I first started the sub stack, you know, part of it was like, Jason keeps blowing me up. Okay, sorry, guys.

[Albert Bianchini]

Well, that makes me happy that you're like, that you communicated.

[Jenny Mullen]

We're talking.

[Roz Therian]

Yeah.

[Kelly Ripa]

We're still friends.

[Albert Bianchini]

No, no, no. We at Live went into a moment of seclusion. You know how when. Remember when celebrities would announce their separations and then they would go into seclusion? Yes, we at Live went into seclusion because that was shocking to us. Yeah, Mark woke me up.

[Jenny Mullen]

Oh, really?

[Albert Bianchini]

Yes. And he was like, I feel so sad. And I was like, I feel sick to my stomach, guys.

[Jenny Mullen]

That means so much to me. That's so sweet.

[Albert Bianchini]

What?

[Jenny Mullen]

Like, yes.

[Albert Bianchini]

And not to derail what we were just talking about, but do you, like, what. Do you feel comfortable telling us where you are or what?

[Jenny Mullen]

We're. We're, like, in a really good place and, you know, just all of it. I mean, he's going to be my best friend. Him. I'll always take care of him. Like, it's. It's going to be fine. He's going to be like. Like, you know, a great friend.

[Albert Bianchini]

Well, you two are very civilized, and you have children together, and you know the importance of maintaining a relationship, you know, to an extent, for the sake of the kids. And kids are perceptive, and they know if their parents aren't happy completely. Jan. What do you want to know, Jan?

[Roz Therian]

I want to know about how she got you to look at your vagina.

[Jan Chile]

Oh, yeah.

[Albert Bianchini]

So take Jan on the story. Tell her about your vaginal lips, which people were. God, you're. I swear, you and I must have the same followers, because they're like, it's not your vagina. It's your vulva. And it's like. By the way, we can all agree every descriptive for a woman's nether region is gross. That's why I call it my cooter. My snatch, my puss.

[Kelly Ripa]

I'm dead. I'm dead. So I.

[Jenny Mullen]

Okay, so I went to Austria, where. I love Austria. I took my girlfriends all to this insane spot in Austria, and we all had to be naked, including my assistant. Like, she had to, like, just, like, be completely naked in front of me. There are no boundaries here.

[Albert Bianchini]

Before you. Before you go on, say that whole beginning part in German just for our German listeners. Just, like, saying.

[Jenny Mullen]

Really?

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah, yeah, just say it just for.

[Jenny Mullen]

Okay. Hotel. I like. Like, what do I want to call it? Like, a eco spa hotel. Okay, so we're, like, all naked together.

[Jan Chile]

Okay.

[Albert Bianchini]

All naked together. Got it. Okay.

[Jenny Mullen]

We drove from Germany, we went to Austria. We're in this, like. Like. I don't know, it was. It's like a nature hotel. Okay, so there's, like, tons of spas, tons of, like, little different saunas, different things you do, but you're basically naked all day. You can go into one, the other, whatever you're doing. Now my girlfriends who know me, you know, they're fine being naked, but also my little like 28 year old assistant. It's like, I've never seen her nude.

[Kelly Ripa]

Normally a boss doesn't ask this of you, but now I'm like, strip down. Otherwise it's unheflich. So we. We're all in this spa and I

[Jenny Mullen]

start to notice one similarity between all of these women.

[Kelly Ripa]

They all have the exact same vagina.

[Jan Chile]

Really?

[Kelly Ripa]

Look at the same doll vagina. A doll vagina.

[Albert Bianchini]

They have doll vaginas.

[Jenny Mullen]

All of my friends are like walking around with little doll vaginas. And I was like, wait, you gotta come to life.

[Albert Bianchini]

I feel so good about you. Oh, my God. Come to life. Yeah, come, come.

[Jenny Mullen]

I need to get over there.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah, come on. I come to the dark side.

[Kelly Ripa]

I need to go to the dark

[Jenny Mullen]

side because this was weighing on me. And when I married Jason, I remember, like, he was like, oh, how interesting.

[Kelly Ripa]

You only have one vagina lip. I do, I do. I didn't know that about myself.

[Jenny Mullen]

And so this whole time I was thinking that I had two vagina lips.

[Kelly Ripa]

And really there's just one vagina lip.

[Jenny Mullen]

And now according to Dr. Sassoon, the other one never grew in just like a micro, like maybe like a mini arm.

[Albert Bianchini]

I blame. You know what? You know what? I'm going back to your mom. I blame your mom.

[Kelly Ripa]

All leads back to my mother. Yes.

[Albert Bianchini]

Go on.

[Kelly Ripa]

Oh, my God.

[Jenny Mullen]

So I said to him, I was like, why did you never tell me this when you were like fingering me every week?

[Kelly Ripa]

I had two children with this man.

[Jenny Mullen]

Why was this never brought to my attention?

[Albert Bianchini]

Where were the doctors? Where was everybody?

[Jenny Mullen]

Right, right?

[Kelly Ripa]

And I.

[Jenny Mullen]

Two C sections. Like, it. I was numb. You could have done it then.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah.

[Jenny Mullen]

He's like, oh, I brought this up to you before. I was.

[Kelly Ripa]

No, you haven't. Have not.

[Jenny Mullen]

So he's like, oh, it's really easy surgery. You know, you just like, I can go in.

[Kelly Ripa]

And basically he didn't say this, but

[Jenny Mullen]

I was like, just lob the other side off.

[Jan Chile]

Right?

[Jenny Mullen]

Like, make them even.

[Albert Bianchini]

Make them even.

[Jenny Mullen]

That's all I'm asking.

[Kelly Ripa]

Just make them even.

[Albert Bianchini]

Remove the other lip.

[Jenny Mullen]

He's like, fine, I can do it on Monday. I'm like, oh, like, this is crazy because literally. And the timing was horrifying because, okay, Jason, like, was moving out on like a Friday, and I didn't mean for it to, like, line up this way. We're.

[Kelly Ripa]

Now I'm having a vagina surgery. Like, it looked so bad for me. And also I'm like, I Don't want

[Jenny Mullen]

to, like, tell him that I'm going to do this because it's just like, I seem so shady and weird, but, like, listen, I'm going under for two and a half hours. I was like, I can't wait to

[Albert Bianchini]

go under to have that vagina lip general.

[Jenny Mullen]

And I was like, a co parent. It felt like, too irresponsible of me.

[Kelly Ripa]

So, like, at 2 in the morning, I shoot up.

[Jenny Mullen]

I'm like, sleeping in my kid's bed and shoot up. I'm like, I have to text him. And so I, like, sent him this text, just being like, I have to tell you something.

[Albert Bianchini]

I'm having a small procedure and a small emergency procedure.

[Kelly Ripa]

It's an emergency. It's covered by insurance. Coming up with tap dancing to try to, like, make this feel palatable. But it was, like, awful.

[Jenny Mullen]

And, yeah, I mean, the one good thing I was able to tell him was like, I'm like, I'm not allowed to have sex for, like, eight weeks.

[Jan Chile]

Right?

[Albert Bianchini]

So it's not that. Did it hurt? Yeah. Did it?

[Jenny Mullen]

Yes, guys, it did hurt. It hurt. It started to hurt around, like, day three.

[Jan Chile]

It's always day three.

[Jenny Mullen]

Like, day three. I, like, couldn't really sit down or drive a car.

[Albert Bianchini]

How does. How does she look now? Is she adorable? Are you very.

[Jenny Mullen]

Now it just looks even like.

[Kelly Ripa]

It's just.

[Albert Bianchini]

It's doll vagina.

[Jenny Mullen]

Kelly, I'm gonna send you pictures of my vagina as well if you're okay with going to the level with me.

[Albert Bianchini]

Now that we totally agree, accept your vagina pictures, I will send you pictures of mine. You'll be, frankly underwhelmed.

[Kelly Ripa]

Okay. I thought you were gonna say, I expect that of you.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah, I would love that. I love. I love.

[Mark Consuelos]

I think you need a hot vagina calendar.

[Albert Bianchini]

Oh, yeah.

[Kelly Ripa]

Oh, my God. Guys, do it.

[Albert Bianchini]

You can do it.

[Kelly Ripa]

That is great. We could make a lot of money.

[Albert Bianchini]

What's weird, though, is when Jenny. Now when Jenny sits down, and when she sits down, instead of hearing this, what you hear now is like.

[Mark Consuelos]

A pucker.

[Albert Bianchini]

By the way, that happened to me again today. I sat down on the sofa when we were talking to Dr. Janine at the show. I do this. I've discovered this thing. It started when I was 50, and it's getting progressively worse. When I sit down on a sofa, my upper thighs clap together like this.

[Mazda Commercial Voice]

This.

[Albert Bianchini]

They make a loud clap. And today the whole audience heard it. Like, the whole audience was like, what was that? And I was like, those were my upper thighs. Continue. Carry on. Everybody carry on. So I'm like, I'm dead. What's, like, what causes that? I want to know what causes that to suddenly happen.

[Kelly Ripa]

Oh, my God. This is too good. Can I see? I'm gonna need to see.

[Albert Bianchini]

I'll send you pictures.

[Jenny Mullen]

Kelly. They have a mirror. The doctor, like, this is another thing that like.

[Kelly Ripa]

Like, you probably never realize that exists in the world. It's on a stick, a long stick

[Jenny Mullen]

with a tiny little. It looks like a. Like a powder compact mirror. Sassoon handed me that after my surgery, and he's like, look.

[Kelly Ripa]

Look at your vagina now. And so I have to, like, hold my. I'm in the stirrups, Kelly, holding a stick with a giant, like, a compact

[Albert Bianchini]

mirror on the end of your vagina. Are you happy with it?

[Jenny Mullen]

I mean, I'm happy with it. I don't think it looks that different. I'm kind of a little, like.

[Kelly Ripa]

I don't know what I expected, you know, like, when you get plastic surgery and you're like, I'm gonna be 12.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yes, I'm familiar with that feeling.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yes. So it was a little bit of that.

[Albert Bianchini]

I don't know. Albert, I'm gonna say something. I think that people kind of look like their vaginas. I do. Jan's gorgeous. You're gorgeous. I understand that you think that you had some asymmetry there, but you didn't. You didn't have asymmetry. You just.

[Kelly Ripa]

I just had only a single one.

[Albert Bianchini]

A single one. Okay, so you're just missing the one.

[Kelly Ripa]

I was missing the other limb. Yeah, like, just chop the other one off.

[Albert Bianchini]

I'm gonna go for. I'm gonna go a step further. I think men look like their penises in my mind. In my mind.

[Jenny Mullen]

I'm interested.

[Albert Bianchini]

Albert, put your camera on. Put your camera on. Put your camera on right now.

[Mark Consuelos]

Is this what it looks like?

[Kelly Ripa]

She's gonna literally.

[Jenny Mullen]

Your mind.

[Albert Bianchini]

This is what you're.

[Kelly Ripa]

Albert. Albert. I think that's, like, actually maybe a compliment. I think maybe you have a nice looking penis.

[Mark Consuelos]

I hope so.

[Albert Bianchini]

He's been with the same man for, like, 150 gay years. So, like, I don't prefer a vagina,

[Mark Consuelos]

by the way, in case you. As you do.

[Albert Bianchini]

Well, for somebody. For somebody who doesn't like a vagina, you saw an awful lot of. Back in your day. So. In the day before you.

[Mark Consuelos]

Yeah.

[Albert Bianchini]

Declared your gayness.

[Mark Consuelos]

Yeah. And camera off. This is.

[Albert Bianchini]

This is unhinged, this podcast. I told you it was going to be unhinged. Yeah. This is off the rails. We've covered Nothing. We have 19 pages of questions to ask you. I'm on question two.

[Mark Consuelos]

Two.

[Albert Bianchini]

We haven't even moved off the first question. I haven't gotten past I want to

[Roz Therian]

know because Jenny, I read this and it like freaked me out. The microdosing GLP ones like what happened to you that you were at the hospital?

[Jan Chile]

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[Albert Bianchini]

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[Jan Chile]

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[Albert Bianchini]

if you know anything about me, it's that

[Jan Chile]

I love to do laundry.

[Albert Bianchini]

It just gives me such satisfaction.

[Jan Chile]

But did you also know that skincare can start in the laundry room? The first step of a sensitive skincare routine is choosing the right laundry detergent. All Free Clear is the number one

[Albert Bianchini]

detergent brand recommended by dermatologists for sensitive skin.

[Jan Chile]

All free clear is 100% free of dyes and fragrance allergens. It provides an effective clean that's gentle on the skin while removing impurities like dirt and body oil that can irritate your skin. It's made with eight carefully selected ingredients to fight stains and be gentle on skin.

[Albert Bianchini]

How great is that?

[Jan Chile]

Allfree Clear has been a game changer for me. It leaves my clothes feeling fresh and my skin feeling happy.

[Albert Bianchini]

I especially love that it doesn't give my laundry a strong artificial odor like some other brands.

[Jan Chile]

You know what I mean? For an effective skin friendly clean wash with all free clearance.

[Roz Therian]

I want to know because Jenny, I read this and it like freaked me out. The microdosing GLP ones, like, what happened to you that you were at the hospital?

[Jenny Mullen]

Oh, so I was microdosing the GLPs. I was also taking other peptides. But I think that something happens with your period and I'm. Maybe it's just like the perimenopausal situation, but suddenly I was like hemorrhaging. It was like blood clots the size of like dinosaur eggs. It was so scary. I went into the bathroom and I felt like I was laying an egg. Like you felt it coming out of you, like, and so I run to the bathroom and I literally am sitting on the toilet and I hear this like plop and like just like blood everywhere. And then I look into like my underwear and there's literally. I thought it was like, I was

[Kelly Ripa]

like, did I just like, like, am

[Jenny Mullen]

I an after school special where like you don't know you're pregnant and there's

[Kelly Ripa]

just like a baby right in the toilet? Yes.

[Albert Bianchini]

Oh my God.

[Kelly Ripa]

So I'm screaming for Jason. I'm like, jason. And then he comes in and you

[Jenny Mullen]

know, Jason, like isn't the calmest. He's sort of like whatever emotion I'm at, like he meets me there.

[Kelly Ripa]

So he's like screaming like it's a horror movie.

[Jenny Mullen]

And then I just like kind of go out through the rest of the day, like having these like, like blood clots. But I'm just in the house and I'm like, baby, I think that I'm like, I think I'm losing too much blood.

[Kelly Ripa]

And Jason's laying in bed now.

[Jenny Mullen]

It's like 8 o' clock at night. He's like passed out next to me. He's like, you're fine. You know, because he's, he doesn't know.

[Albert Bianchini]

Nobody wants to go to an emergency room at 8 o' clock at night.

[Jenny Mullen]

It's like, no, no, he's like, you're fine. I'm sure it's just, it's just normal. Meanwhile I walk to the bathroom to try to pee. I have a vasovagal reaction.

[Kelly Ripa]

I pass out on.

[Albert Bianchini]

Now there's blood and pee and everything.

[Jenny Mullen]

Everything. And I'm calling him, and I'm like, jason, oh, my God. Like, I'm unconscious. And he's like, okay, Jenny, the kids are asleep.

[Kelly Ripa]

The.

[Jenny Mullen]

Sid is leaving for fucking camp, like, in the morning. Sid is about to go to Brant Lake in the morning. So, literally, Sid's asleep in bed. Him taking him to camp in the morning. I'm splayed on the. On the bathroom floor. And Jason's like, Jenny, you have to get up. You have to let me take you to the car. I'm going to take you to the emergency room. I was like, I can't walk.

[Kelly Ripa]

Walk.

[Jenny Mullen]

He's like, jenny, our kids are asleep. We cannot have like. Like, I can't call an ambulance right now. I'm gonna have to call an ambulance. If you can't walk to. To the. To the door and get in the.

[Albert Bianchini]

In.

[Jenny Mullen]

In my car or get in an Uber. And I'm like, jason, I absolutely cannot walk. Like, I am. And I faint again.

[Mazda Commercial Voice]

He.

[Jenny Mullen]

We have to call ambulance. There now is like, like, gurney, bring broad into my house.

[Kelly Ripa]

You guys. I'm dead. Like, this is, like. Shows you my dynamic with Jason. He's, like, still calling me drinks. He, like, no, he senses when I'm talking about him. And so I'm strapped now.

[Jenny Mullen]

Arms and legs being, like, carried, like, down the stairwell to the hospital. I'm there all night long. They're, like, giving me all of this, like, these fluids. They're telling me I have to have a dnc. So I'm at the hospital. Literally, they check me out now. It's like maybe six in the morning. We take a car back downtown. As I'm walking in the front door, Sid's waking up. He's, like, walking out of his bedroom, and I just ripped the thing off of my arm, right? Like, the hospital bracelet.

[Kelly Ripa]

I'm like, good morning, son.

[Jenny Mullen]

And we take him to the bus, and we put him on his bus to Brant Lake. He had no idea any of it ever happened. And so that night was harrowing.

[Kelly Ripa]

It was so scary.

[Albert Bianchini]

What did they think caused that? Like, a glass GLP1 caused that. And why were you taking a GLP1 for inflammation?

[Jenny Mullen]

Well, because I have a hyperthyroid, and so I feel like autoimmune. And so I have, like, had a cocktail of peptides I was doing. I don't know if it was the GLP one necessarily But I think it was because I think it was, like, messing with my hormones a little bit. I think had I stayed on it, I would have been fine. But getting off it and then back on it was what, like, screwed me.

[Albert Bianchini]

Right. It could also just be perimenopause.

[Jenny Mullen]

Exactly.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah. No, that is scary stuff. There's nothing worse than passing out. This happened to me once, and I passed out. And Mark had to call 911 and he dressed me.

[Jenny Mullen]

No.

[Jan Chile]

Yeah.

[Kelly Ripa]

What did he put you in?

[Albert Bianchini]

He threaded my lifeless body into. Ready?

[Jan Chile]

A green leotard.

[Kelly Ripa]

No, no.

[Jan Chile]

Juventus.

[Albert Bianchini]

Button, side, snap track pants and red Manolo Blahniks.

[Kelly Ripa]

No, we did not.

[Albert Bianchini]

I swear to God. I'm still. I was like. I don't know what is wrong. I came. I came to. As they were, like, placing me on the gurney. I think they smelling salted me because I kept passing out. It was like one of those things that I kept passing out. And I was like, what am I wearing? Why am I in red high heels? How am I in a ballet unitard? Like a leotard? Like, he snaked me into that. And then track pants.

[Mark Consuelos]

I can't.

[Kelly Ripa]

I'm obsessed.

[Albert Bianchini]

The mental. The mental gymnastics he had to play to, like, think that that was the best costume for the hospital is wild. I don't. He talks about it all the time. He's like, I don't know what I was thinking. I went. Wasn't thinking. You just had a baby and you passed out. And I was like, my wife is naked on the floor and I don't know what to do. And she wait.

[Kelly Ripa]

I love you. Just had a baby and he puts you in red high heels.

[Albert Bianchini]

He was like, oh, these finally fit again. Oh, her feet aren't swollen anymore. Red high heels.

[Mark Consuelos]

A lot on these.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yeah. And I remember, like, so now I'm in the elevator. Elevator. And I'm totally conscious, and I'm like, I feel fine. Can you just wheel me back? And they're like, oh, no, no.

[Jan Chile]

Once you're.

[Albert Bianchini]

Once you're stuck there, we're rolling. So I don't want my neighbors to see me because my neighbors were very nosy. So I try to, like, pull the sheet up over my face. And they're like, no, you have to pull the sheet down because if the sheet is over your face, that means you're dead. And that's different paperwork. I'm not kidding. They kept. And I'm like. I would pull the sheet up and they would fold it down. And I was like, please, I'm begging you. And they're like, oh, my God, the whole time. So I understand. Like, I, you know, I understand you're

[Kelly Ripa]

going to a different department with the

[Albert Bianchini]

sheet over your head. I'm not advocating for the man in this situation, but I understand Jason's reluctance to call an ambulance. Like, I totally understand because there's, like, protocols involved that then you're out of control.

[Kelly Ripa]

It's true.

[Albert Bianchini]

Your life is not your own one.

[Jenny Mullen]

It's so true.

[Albert Bianchini]

I just literally asked Jenny three questions in an hour. This is a personal. This is the personal worst for me.

[Mark Consuelos]

The best. And off the rails, by the way.

[Roz Therian]

Jenny, don't you love the unhinged Kelly?

[Jenny Mullen]

No, I want more of this. Like, I think this needs to be another show.

[Albert Bianchini]

This is. I told you. Like, when I see you, I'm like, oh, that's me. If I didn't have a frothy morning show where I have to be like. I was like that. Jenny is like my soulmate.

[Roz Therian]

Yeah.

[Albert Bianchini]

We are twin flames with women coming

[Roz Therian]

after both of you.

[Mazda Commercial Voice]

Yes.

[Albert Bianchini]

I also anger women all the time. And I'm like, it's so annoying. Anyway, Jenny, thank you for doing our humble podcast, guys.

[Kelly Ripa]

I had such a blast. This was so fun.

[Albert Bianchini]

I'm going to have Jan text you my cell phone number.

[Jenny Mullen]

Yes, we need to.

[Albert Bianchini]

So we can talk like real people. I love talking to people. We can swap pictures. You know, I just. I just got laser hair removal, so I will.

[Jan Chile]

I'll.

[Kelly Ripa]

Oh, I'm excited. Okay, great. Make sure you check out sexting immediately.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yes, Jenny. Substack. Check it, Albert. You've got to get substack. The Best Friend experience with Jenny Mullen. She really is America's best friend. And Germany. Say goodbye to our Germans. Say goodbye to our listeners in German. I love it. I never get tired of it.

[Royal Caribbean Commercial Voice]

It.

[Kelly Ripa]

Okay, cheers, guys.

[Albert Bianchini]

Bye, Jenny.

[Jan Chile]

Thank you.

[Mazda Commercial Voice]

Bye.

[Mark Consuelos]

Bye.

[Roz Therian]

Bye.

[Albert Bianchini]

Let's talk off camera with Kelly Ripa

[Jan Chile]

is a production of Mojo Productions. From Mojo, our team is Kelly Ripa, Mark Consuelos, Albert Bianchini, Jan Chile, Seth

[Albert Bianchini]

Bronquist, Roz Therian, Devin Schneider, Michael Halperin,

[Jan Chile]

Julia Desch, and Team Radio Andy.

[Albert Bianchini]

Lisa Mantineo.

[Jan Chile]

Michael White, Shakira Perez. This month on Acorn TV's murder mystery may you have to check out yout're Killing Me with the absolutely iconic Brooke Shields. Brooke stars as a mystery novelist who teams up with a young true crime podcaster played by Amalia Williamson to solve small town murders.

[Albert Bianchini]

The dynamic between them is so fun that you get this classic whodunit with

[Jan Chile]

a little edge and really witty banter. Stream all episodes of you're Killing Me Only on Acorn tv. Learn more at Acorn tv.

[Albert Bianchini]

You know how we all go to

[Jan Chile]

the doctor when something feels off? That's basically the system. You wait, then you react. Fountain Life flips that you can actually look at your body before anything goes wrong, using advanced imaging, labs and AI to catch things early and help you stay well longer. Along with its AI platform, Zori Fountain Life analyzes your scans, blood work, genetics, and more. To uncover what most doctors would miss. Go to fountainlife.com Kelly Ripa to learn more.