
Writer, Producer and "Patient Zero of Online Harassment," Monica Lewinsky joins her friend Kelly to discuss her decision to reclaim her narrative, enduring the scandal, and how she's helped to change the cultural conversation about bullying. Monica talks about her dating life, if she'll write a memoir, and her new show THE TWISTED TALE OF AMANDA KNOX. Be sure to check out her podcast RECLAIMING with Monica Lewinsky.
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Kelly Ripa
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Monica Lewinsky
This idea of me having gone to Washington with an agenda or that I was stupid, you know, that was something I contended with for a long time. I mean, part of going to graduate school and holding on to every textbook I had because I just thought this is some symbolism of I'm not a dumb bimbo.
Kelly Ripa
Somebody gotta cue me or do I cue myself?
Albert Bianchini
Cue yourself.
Kelly Ripa
Okay. All right everybody. We are back with another let's talk off camera. So let's get talking. Woo. Ashley, I'm going to tell you a story. Buckle up. There was a time, yes, a time, I tell you, before social media, you were not born yet. When our Next guest was 24 years old, she endured one of the most public and painful experiences a young woman, man, person could possibly face. Becoming what she likes to call the patient zero of online harassment. Boy, that's the understatement of the century. But what truly defines her isn't the scandal, it's what she's done. In the aftermath, she has redefined what it means to reclaim a narrative transforming personal trauma into public service. Monica Lewinsky has since dedicated her life to changing the cultural conversation around victim blaming and online cruelty. She delivered that incredible TED talk, the Price of Shame, and even produced an Emmy nominated series, American Crime Story, Colon Impeachment, which I was watched every episode. It was riveting. Riveting. She's here today to share her new project, a podcast aptly called Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky. I adore this woman. I've known her a long time. I met her through Anderson and Benjamin.
Albert Bianchini
Oh, really?
Kelly Ripa
Yeah. And she's just a gift of. She's a gift of a human being. And it's very Funny. I always. I reference my children a lot. There's a handful of people. Ellen Barkin is one of them. Monica Lewinsky is another one. Albert, over here to my right is another one. If you tell my kids that. That these people are coming for dinner, all of my kids show up like it is like a dinner bell because they just have so much love for them. I can't wait to get into it all. All of her trials and triumphs with her. Albert, what do you have to say?
Albert Bianchini
I love her. I. I mean, I'm obsessed with her. When I met her here, I was telling them that I took a cab home with her. We were just laughing. She was telling these outrageous stories. She's just great.
Kelly Ripa
She's a normal girl.
Albert Bianchini
She's a normal person. And when you spend five minutes with her, you're like, oh, you're so much more than anything that. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's incredible. And the depth, the humor is beyond. I just am in love with her. I think she's great.
Kelly Ripa
It's very funny because she was so written about, so talked about, so scrutinized, so analyzed, and yet it's funny to know her. You realize that the press, the collective, the narrative has gotten everything wrong about a person that they could possibly get wrong.
Jan Chalet
Well, it was crazy because last night I get on the phone with Luke and he said he had just gotten out of his news media and ethics class, and he said, guess what the topic is? Because I had spoken to him about over the weekend what I was, like, working on. And he said today's topic was Monica Lewinsky. Like, what is the chances?
Kelly Ripa
That's crazy.
Jan Chalet
The timing of that.
Kelly Ripa
The timing of it.
Jan Chalet
Insane. So he's like, I want to hear this podcast when you're done. He's like, I want to hear how it goes.
Kelly Ripa
Luke is going to listen to our podcast.
Jan Chalet
I know it's true.
Kelly Ripa
Holy. Tell him to tell his friends.
Jan Chalet
Also, I think that he told the teacher to get some credit. And the teacher was like, well, I want to hear it, too. So, like, we're going to be.
Monica Lewinsky
We're going to be part of a.
Kelly Ripa
Michigan class that is very exciting for us. We're going to be part of.
Albert Bianchini
Can we be played in a classroom, do you think?
Kelly Ripa
What will they play our voices in a classroom? Maybe.
Jan Chalet
I don't know.
Kelly Ripa
Go blue. She is a testament to what the human spirit can survive and endure and thrive out of. And I will say, I say this to her all the time. Trauma agrees with her.
Jan Chalet
I wonder what she thinks about this. I hate the phrase, like, everything happens for a reason, but I feel like she's doing so much good now with what happened to her. But I like, I don't know, does everything really happen for a reason?
Kelly Ripa
No, that happened for no reason. That happened because Linda Tripp was an asshole. I mean, there are a lot of assholes in this story. Don't get me wrong. There's tons of assholes. Yeah. But the one person who was held to the highest Standard was the 24 year old intern.
Jan Chalet
Yeah.
Kelly Ripa
Isn't that crazy?
Jan Chalet
It is crazy. It's absolutely.
Kelly Ripa
That was the person that was held to the highest standard and everybody else sort of moved on with their lives. Yeah. You know, and I, I don't want to get enraged before she logs on.
Jan Chalet
Okay, well, she's ready.
Kelly Ripa
She is talking.
Albert Bianchini
Gorgeous.
Kelly Ripa
Hi. Albert's here too.
Albert Bianchini
Oh, yeah. Let me say hi, Albert. How are you? How's it going?
Monica Lewinsky
Good. How are you doing?
Albert Bianchini
Great. You look amazing.
Monica Lewinsky
Thank you. I have dirty hair.
Albert Bianchini
I love the highlights.
Kelly Ripa
That your dirty hair. Is that what your hair looks like when it's dirty? Jesus. Okay. Are you one of these girls that gets your hair blown out like once a week and it just stays? Yeah.
Monica Lewinsky
Yes. But you know what? I was never a girl who had a good metabolism, so I got the hair gene, but not the metabolism gene.
Kelly Ripa
No, you've got all the good stuff. All right, so thank you for joining us. Monica Lewinsky is here. Woo. We claiming reclaiming naming is such a brilliant, brilliant name for your podcast.
Monica Lewinsky
Thank you.
Kelly Ripa
How did you come up with the idea? What made you leap into the space? I don't know why I have this unjustified protective feeling towards you. So I'm always like, oh, because we're friends. Because we're friends. But also. Yes. And I, I have to know, like, was there hesitation on your part?
Monica Lewinsky
So much. Okay, all the things. So the concept of reclaiming actually started for me in my notes app as something, I think it was not long after Michelle Obama had come out with becoming and I was like, okay, everybody's titles are a one word ing. And maybe at some point I'd write a memoir. And I was thinking, okay, this could be really interesting or a good framework for something that doesn't have to feel too linear and could be reclaiming this and reclaiming that, et cetera. And then about a year, I guess a year and a half ago or so, it just started to, like, in working with people on what should I be doing and talking about different ideas, it just started to feel more Interesting to actually look outward and have those conversations outward than just with myself. And so I wish I had listened to actually. Do you know Cindy Berger at all?
Kelly Ripa
Oh, yeah, I know her, but I don't know her well.
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah, Cindy's a friend of mine, and I'm constantly kicking myself wishing that I had listened to her, like, 15 years ago when she was saying, you should start a podcast and you'd be the.
Kelly Ripa
Pioneer and you'd be up here.
Monica Lewinsky
Right, right. I'd be doing this interview from my beach house.
Kelly Ripa
So we say it all the time. Yeah.
Monica Lewinsky
So then it was. Of course, I was. I was nervous about jumping in. But I think what was funny about the beginning process for me was I thought since you've had me to your home for dinner before, I consider myself a very good dinner party.
Kelly Ripa
You are the best. We just. I just said. I just regaled these guys. Let me tell you something. My kids, I always say this, like, there's a handful of people, and by handful, I mean, like, three that will get them all to come home for dinner. And you are one of those people because they just adore you. They simply.
Monica Lewinsky
Well, you've raised. You and Mark have raised some extraordinary children. Really, really smart, but unique and balanced and. And kind and funny. All the good things. Yeah, all the good and important things, but.
Kelly Ripa
So you are a great dinner party guest.
Monica Lewinsky
Thank you. So I thought this would be very easy. I thought it would be, like, basically like, yeah, okay, I'm curious about people. How hard could it be? It's hard. It's very hard. As you know. I mean, it's just. It's a very different kind of skill set than just being at a dinner party. And so the challenge has proven to be good for me. But it was very hard in the beginning and really hard to stand up a show, too. Just, you know, oh, what do you want the key art to look like? And what do you want the music? I was like, I don't fucking know. You know? You know, we. We ended up licensing a song that I really loved because I kept saying, well, more like this. More, you know, so it's just all the things. But it's been really great, and I'm grateful, and I just enjoying it immensely.
Kelly Ripa
Who's a person that you had on that, like, knocked your socks off?
Monica Lewinsky
Oh, my God. I would say some of the highlights moments this year have probably been Miley Cyrus came on.
Kelly Ripa
Oh, my gosh.
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah, she was amazing. And she just. She'd done her homework in just even thinking about the kind of conversation she wanted to have on the show. And her saying to me, you know, that her 2013 was my 1998 was just, like, such an incredible conversation lane to go in. And I. I found her bright and funny as. She's so funny. I hope she, like, writes a rom com at some point or does something because she's so funny and, you know, just work. She's. She's put in the work on herself. So that was great. John Oliver coming on and talking to me about his grandpa's last words. And then we ended up. I don't know if I can swear on your podcast, but yeah. So we ended up, like, talking about the word cunt. And we said. I think it counted. It was like we said cunt seven times in one minute.
Kelly Ripa
So I am a liberal user of that word. And I texted you that word once, if you recall. I won't get into why or how, but if you recall, something happened and I just texted you something and the C word was in there and I felt good about it.
Monica Lewinsky
Exactly.
Kelly Ripa
As a Catholic, a lot of times I'll. And then I worry about burning in hell. But I was so steadfast in my feelings about this that I was like, I felt good sending that text.
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah.
Kelly Ripa
Yeah.
Monica Lewinsky
We. I've got to get you on, Kelly. I know we've been trying with schedules and things. I would just.
Kelly Ripa
You're always.
Monica Lewinsky
I would love it anytime.
Kelly Ripa
Does election night, like, trigger you in any way? Like, I can't help. But some years.
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah, some years, like, I'm watching.
Kelly Ripa
I'm watching our current state. State of the world, and I am triggered every day, all the time, constantly. And I often think about you, and I think Monica must feel this in a different way. She must feel this all differently.
Monica Lewinsky
You know, in some ways. In some ways I do. In some ways, I don't. I'd say most election cycles, I have probably felt like everyone else. So I'm middle of the road, Democrat, some libertarian here and there, some lefty views. I don't think I have any Republican views, but I am middle of the road. I'm curious what your thoughts are on this, because I've struggled with it in the sense that I've wondered, like, oh, fudge, are we now Gen Xers? Are we now at the age where it's like the younger generations want to turn the page on how we're doing politics and we're now that place, and.
Kelly Ripa
So it scares the shit out of me. Yeah.
Monica Lewinsky
So it is really interesting to kind of just have to think about okay, well, I think I'm right. I think I know what I'm talking about and what we should do and all those things. But then I wonder, okay, these younger generations, they have to live with the consequences of all of these decisions a lot longer than we will. And so it's. It's something I've. I try to accept. I don't do a very good job of it, but there were, you know, there were some years that were obviously a lot harder. And I think that the. It's sort of the long tail of 1998 and all the people who are connected who are, you know, it's the draft of fuckery.
Kelly Ripa
It's like a fuckery draft. A fuckery wake up behind you. Yeah, right.
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah. So, you know, and it's been. I think it's been really weird the last. Probably the last few weeks, just because I've had all these really personal touch points to what's going on in the government of. Oh, there's a furlough. Okay, well, I lived through a furlough and that was going into a lot of trouble. Started there. And then when all the journalists who were down the hall from me when I worked at the Pentagon, because I worked for the Pentagon spokesman, when they were all kicked out of, you know, the E ring here. I don't remember what our whatchamacallit was hallway, but so that felt really personal. And. And now they knocked down where my office was, you know, in the east wing. I think what is strange, I don't know if you've had this experience too, as a public person, you're connected more to entertainment than politics. So something will just come out of the blue, a reference that'll come out of the blue in the least expected places. I mean, I might be reading a fucking novel and.
Kelly Ripa
And you're like, me, why am I here?
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah, so it's a very. It's a very, very weird existence that way. But, you know, I think one of the things that I've loved about, kind of about doing the podcast and having these conversations with people is it's. It doesn't matter where someone's coming from, what their experiences have been. They're just all these crossovers that we have. And I think in. In experience that almost like how when they talk about transferable skills from job, it's almost these transferable experiences that we have. And it allows us, I think, to just feel a lot less alone, a lot less unique. I mean, some of the things about my case are definitely unique still, but, you know, they're just those, those moments where you also, you just sort of fall in deep in recognizing how similar we all are.
Kelly Ripa
Yeah. When you wrote that essay for Vanity fair, was it 2014, do you think that was like a paradigm shift for you?
Monica Lewinsky
It was in a really interesting way in that and it took a little time, but it was the younger generations response to the essay. So the ones who were too young to know what was going on or not yet born, and they were the ones who were sort of insisted on revisiting this story through a more modern lens because in large part because they weren't. You know, we call it the brainwashing in my family.
Katie Nolan
Family.
Monica Lewinsky
But it's like they didn't go through the brainwashing. And so I think that when you didn't live through it and you don't have to ask yourself questions of, was I wrong? No. No one ever likes to be wrong.
Kelly Ripa
Right.
Monica Lewinsky
So getting people to change a view, you know, to evolve their view on things can be really complicated. But this younger generation, they, they were the ones who just insisted on, on revisiting this story. And I could not be more grateful.
Kelly Ripa
Explain to our listeners like the brainwashing. Thank you to l' Oreal for sponsoring today's gift giving segment. We can't forget the holidays mean so much more than shopping. The gratitude, the love and the really good food. But as we have established here, I take my gift giving really, really, really seriously. The best gifts are the ones that show the people we love that we really care, that we really know them. We know how to make them feel their absolute best. Okay, so some of my go to gifts. These are the products that I use. They help me simplify my skincare routine. And I love the skin I'm in. At least today I do. L' Oreal's Paris Revitalift Triple power Moisturizer. It is my favorite. I use it twice a day. Sometimes I use it three times a day. Jan, I'm not gonna lie. It's a three in one anti aging moisturizer, Albert. It's formulated with three dermatologist recommended ingredients. Pro retinol, hyaluronic acid and vitamin C to visibly reverse up to 10 years of wrinkles, firm and brighten your skin. It's available in both Fragrance Free and SPF 30. I like the SPF 31 so I don't have to apply a separate SPF. Grab it today for under $25. Albert, I want to slather some on your head because I don't think you protect your head enough. Good. I'm also obsessed with l' Oreal's Revitalift triple power tripeptide serum. It's three serums in one. It's formulated with peptides, vitamin C. And there she is. Hyaluronic acid again to reduce your wrinkles, firm and brighten your skin, leaving you with visibly younger looking skin. In just seven days for me it took nine. I'm not gonna lie.
Jan Chalet
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Kelly Ripa
It's wild, right?
Jan Chalet
Yeah, it was unbelievable.
Kelly Ripa
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Commercial Narrator
Based on the best selling novel, Amanda Seyfried and Sydney Sweeney star in the Housemaid A wildly entertaining thriller about a live in housemaid and the wealthy Winchester family Experience a twisted world where perfection is an illusion and nothing is as it seems. The shocking twists will leave you guessing until the very end. Can you keep a secret? The Housemaid Rated R. Only in theaters December 19th. Get tickets now.
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Monica Lewinsky
We get the deals, you give the.
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Kelly Ripa
Explain to our listeners like the brainwashing.
Monica Lewinsky
Well, I think it was, you know, 1998 was the beginning of, you know, the Internet, but not social media. I mean now the Internet had existed, but it was something where we were at a point where many people had dial up at home. It was the year to understand where we're moving. The end of 1998 is when Google launched. We had the Internet. We had 24 hour cable news. But what had really started very recently in 96 and 97 was the competition. CNN had been around for 20 years and they were their 24 hour news cycle. I remember my dad watching like all about the Iraq war, you know, everything happening. Right. All on cnn. That's it.
Kelly Ripa
That was it.
Monica Lewinsky
And now, and now the competition happened. So with the competition, it meant they were all having to shift in how they were approaching things. So you, you have those two kind of pieces happening at the same time that this story erupted. And because it was on the scale that it was with the president, it just blanketed. I think there was a statistic I found at some point that I think there were 125 articles on this story in just the first 10 days. And it might have been just the Washington Post.
Kelly Ripa
Right.
Monica Lewinsky
Like it just blanketed everywhere. And I think because, because everybody was in legal jeopardy, it meant this wasn't just spin of what's the best way to spin a story and do people step forward and tell the truth now or not? There was legal jeopardy. So it was complicated and I didn't have a voice. I couldn't. I mean, I literally was told by my lawyers, you cannot speak publicly because it will put you in legal jeopardy.
Kelly Ripa
So, and then when you can't speak.
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah.
Kelly Ripa
When there's a vacuum, narrative forms around you. And I, I was saying before you logged on to Albert and Jan, I was saying that knowing you, the way I know you, knowing who you are, to go back and revisit, it's like looking at a stranger. Because the portrayal of you.
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah.
Kelly Ripa
Versus who you are are so dichotomous. Yeah. It makes no sense.
Monica Lewinsky
I mean, some of it, I think some of that, that sort of dichotomous chasm as you're talking about, I think was also filled by maturity. Right. So as I got older. Right. But this idea of me having gone to Washington with an agenda or, or that I was stupid, you know, that was something I contended with for a long time. I mean, part of, you know, going to graduate school and coming out of graduate school and holding on to every textbook I had and all these books I bought when I was there, because I just thought this is some symbolism of I'm not a dumb bimbo and I don't always make smart choices, that's.
Kelly Ripa
For sure, given your age and given the circumstances, because you're dealing with the most powerful person in the world and.
Monica Lewinsky
Charismatic too, you know, So, I mean, there's, there's the, there are all of the narratives of power, but then there are the ways that people use their power and how power shows up. And so I think that's. I think that can be a lethal combination.
Kelly Ripa
Right.
Monica Lewinsky
You know, but it's, you know, one of the other projects that I. This last year that sort of. I had reclaiming and, you know, doing the weekly podcast and so. Which is a lot. But also launching the Twisted tale of Amanda Knox on Hulu, which is so brilliant. Oh, I mean, I'd like to say thank you, but really, that's the showrunner, KJ Steinberg.
Kelly Ripa
So another story, another young girl who is portrayed as a monster in the media. Right.
Monica Lewinsky
And it. And it's. I think that this idea that as we started to become more and more bombarded by media. Right. Because there are now so many more outlets. There's so many. Right. It used to be when. When you and I were growing up, there were a handful of newspapers, a handful of radio shows of the news, and a handful of news programs only at night.
Kelly Ripa
Right.
Monica Lewinsky
Then maybe there were the morning shows. At some point, there were three channels.
Kelly Ripa
I mean, there were three channels.
Monica Lewinsky
So you didn't have the opportunity to make much money.
Kelly Ripa
Right.
Monica Lewinsky
And I think that's part of what starts to drive a lot of these stories from what we're seeing in that. In that time frame, too. And with Amanda, you know, in this micro sense, I felt she deserved to have her story revisited and. And to be a part of that storytelling. She was also an executive producer on the project. And in the macro sense, it was really, you know, thinking about how do we try to help society shift so that this doesn't happen, period, to another young person or it doesn't happen and cause as much damage or happen for as long. You know, there is a very long tail of this kind of trauma and.
Kelly Ripa
This kind of stigma, particularly around young women.
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah.
Kelly Ripa
There's always a simple villain in every narrative. It's always a young woman, no matter. No matter what the circumstance.
Monica Lewinsky
Right.
Kelly Ripa
It's irresistible.
Monica Lewinsky
One of the reasons I was so grateful to Hulu and Disney, that they were. They were really sort of brave enough to let us have these episodes where we go into the aftermath, which was really important to Amanda and me, because people, when you're the subject of these things, what you end up receiving when things are over is like, just move on. And people mean well, you know, there. Some people, some people don't. Some people are snarky about it, but. But by and large, most people mean well. They're sort of like, well, don't dwell in all this.
Kelly Ripa
It's easy for them to say because it didn't happen to them. Right.
Monica Lewinsky
And so I think that there's this, in trying to open up a window for people to see what is an aftermath of something like this look like. How does it impact your entire family? How does it impact your ability to ear income? What are the choices you end up having to make? You know, going through my experience, I really learned to not judge women who have found themselves in difficult situations who then chose to pose nude for money because you know what, that sometimes I was lucky. I came from an upper middle class family who could help me. Some people don't and that's their only option.
Kelly Ripa
I'm thinking about the amount of like job offers that you could have had.
Monica Lewinsky
Or, or, or the offers that I, you know something, I think we never like I sat down at some point and figured out that just even up until I think it was maybe 2000, maybe it was the early 2010s. And this may not sound like an enormous amount of money in today's world. I don't know, you know, depends on, on your perspective. But I had turned down like $11 million, which was a lot of money for me. That's a lot of money.
Kelly Ripa
Extraordinary amount of money.
Monica Lewinsky
And that's like base money, not sort of, oh well, it could have grown into these, whether it was investments or projects that would have had ongoing. And so I think there's the, what you turn down, there's what's coming towards you, what you have to turn down to try to be able to look yourself in the mirror if you can.
Kelly Ripa
What did they want you to do for $11 million?
Monica Lewinsky
Oh, no, it wasn't one offer for 11 million.
Kelly Ripa
Oh, a combination.
Monica Lewinsky
Combination, yeah.
Kelly Ripa
So you were so young when all of this happened. So I'm trying to think back to like, you're so special. Like you're so smart, you're so sophisticated. Kelly, you're really funny, you're super kind and you're gorgeous. Have you ever been able to go on a normal date?
Monica Lewinsky
You know, I, my friends who've known me since before 98 would probably tell you, oh, it was never going to be a normal date for me. No matter what.
Kelly Ripa
No matter what. Okay, that's good. That's comforting. That's comforting.
Monica Lewinsky
But, but you know, yeah, I have. I've dated some really extraordinary men and I'm very private about my, my personal life and I feel very lucky. You know, Did I go through periods of time where there was like a real dearth of dating? Yes. Have there been some not great men? Yes, certainly what happened in 98 made it more complicated.
Kelly Ripa
Do you have a hard time trusting people when you meet them now or are you so like with your circle? Everybody you meet is like pre vetted. Because when I met you, I was shocked at how open you were.
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah, I consider myself lucky that, that I am still so open. I think it's really. It would have been very easy to see another path where my heart and, and everything just closed up for good. And so I, I have a, like, my trust system is sort of weird in that I'm very. I'm fairly trusting. But my, if my spidey sense goes up, like my spidey sense is pretty well tuned and if my spidey sense I pull way, way, way back. And if you've broken my trust, it's pretty hard for me to ever really fully trust with such an open heart again.
Kelly Ripa
Yeah.
Monica Lewinsky
So. And I, and I'm probably quick to. Quick to alert. You know, I'm. I'm hyper vigilant.
Kelly Ripa
I have to say. I am so impressed with the. I know that you have to be hyper vigilant, but I am so impressed with the openness with which you enter a room and it is received. I mean, I've been in the room, I've watched you work the room, and you are so loved and received by your friends with the same spirit.
Monica Lewinsky
It's so funny, I'll joke a lot that so much of my downfall had been because I had chosen the wrong friend. And yet I have such extraordinary friends. I am so lucky. I am just really, really lucky in that sense.
Kelly Ripa
Again, you were so young with this much older friend who we will not refer to. But what I'm saying is we've all like, I don't know a person in this room who hasn't had a really shitty friend. Now, our shitty friends had no power or no access to power or anything like that. But we've all had a friend where I'm like so fucked up, you know, and it makes you like question your decision making where you think to yourself, how could I have let this person into my life? How could I have not seen that this person wanted evil for me or bad things to happen to me, you know? And it does like, it gives you like that sort of be on the lookout. Yeah, I think I'm more closed off than you are, which is a testament to how good you are.
Monica Lewinsky
But no, I think that. I think I look at someone who's had the career that you've had and who's been in the business and moved into different lanes in the ways that you have and risen and work so hard to get there. I think that you, you've had different kinds of experiences that would, that would lead you to be more discerning in different ways than me. It all falls under this idea. And that's sort of what is so exciting to me about reclaiming. And we use this really elastic definition on the show that I think that it's, I think sometimes people think they're going to be coming into kind of a self helpy, you know, someone's trauma story and how they got better. And it is, it's. Sometimes that's a part of the conversation, but it's very elastic because the, the idea of having something that is lost or taken from you and getting it back, that whole process, like, it's so interesting to me because it encompasses like, loss and grief and resilience and strategy and perseverance and you haven't reclaimed until you have that triumph. And so all of those things are in there. And I think we are, we're all reclaiming all the time in, in, in really monumental ways, but also in small ways. You know, like, I, I joke about it, but it's, I have really bad road rage. I don't think you've driven with me before.
Kelly Ripa
No, yeah, I would. I, I want to get in the car. I want to know about road rage to be good.
Monica Lewinsky
Like, I try to really keep myself in check when someone else is in the car.
Kelly Ripa
But that's like, isn't that California living, though? Don't, don't. Oh, don't have road rage. Just in internally. Yeah. Yes.
Monica Lewinsky
Albert is saying joke is that everybody's just hungry. Like they're just, you know, they got.
Kelly Ripa
To get to Erwan. They got to get their 85 milkshake.
Monica Lewinsky
Basically. Like a small reclaiming for me is when I will yell face. But then I, I find I reclaim my calm and I don't flick the person off. Like, that's a tiny reclaiming.
Kelly Ripa
That's from New Jersey. Being from New Jersey, that's huge because I would say face and then, you know, try to cut them off deliberately.
Monica Lewinsky
Oh, yeah, yeah. I, you know, I stopped doing that a few years ago when someone pulled a gun on someone on Crescent Heights and Sunset. I was like, oh, I'm at that intersection a lot. And so I try to, you know, do all the things.
Kelly Ripa
But when are you going to write your memoir? First of all, you're an amazing writer, so you're an incredible writer. So you've Got that skill set. And talk about $11 million. Yeah. I bet you to be twice that much. I mean, those publishing houses will go on a megabit. Yeah, no, they.
Monica Lewinsky
I mean megabit. I wanted to write for a long time and had tried and it didn't work and. And then I got to a place where just that voice just kept saying, not now, not yet, not yet, not yet. So I'm kind of waiting for that knowing to. To say, okay, now, you know, and.
Kelly Ripa
You'Ll know when the time is right. I will.
Monica Lewinsky
I mean, I was thinking the other day that, that in 2028 it will be 30 years. Right. Is that right? Yeah, 30 years. It will be 30 years. And so.
Kelly Ripa
Yeah. Because I'll be 58, more importantly.
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah, exactly.
Kelly Ripa
Which is practically 60. We can all agree.
Monica Lewinsky
You know what? I have friends who just turned 70 and they are so fabulous. Like if I can be half as amazing as they are.
Kelly Ripa
Yeah.
Monica Lewinsky
At 70, like I'm doing life right.
Kelly Ripa
That's when you really don't give any fucks anymore.
Monica Lewinsky
Exactly.
Kelly Ripa
70.
Monica Lewinsky
Exactly.
Kelly Ripa
They're gone. Albert, you have a question?
Albert Bianchini
Monica, here's my question. Yeah, I'm put my face on because I the. The comparison between you and Kelly on this topic. Why did gay men flock to the tune?
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Kelly Ripa
Hey there.
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Kelly Ripa
Sports.
Katie Nolan
We're just happy that you're here. Every week, I hang out with some of my good friends to discuss the biggest stories across sports and entertainment, but in a way that's, like, fun and not boring. Want to know Sue Bird's favorite Diana Taurasi story? Or how heavy the Larry o' Brien trophy is? Or even what baseball team is right for you based on your moon sign? We got you. Listen to Casuals every Tuesday and Thursday on the Sirius XM app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Kelly Ripa
Bye.
Albert Bianchini
Monica. Here's my question. Yeah, I'm gonna put my face on because I. The. The comparison between you and Kelly on this topic. Why did gay men flock to the two of you? Clearly, you have the most important and the most iconic gay men in both of your lives. What do you think the reason is?
Monica Lewinsky
Oh, my God.
Jan Chalet
Okay.
Monica Lewinsky
I. Okay, I think for me, I. The gay community was really supportive of me in 98, and I think some of that was because I was experiencing such a public shaming around and connected to sexuality.
Kelly Ripa
Wow.
Monica Lewinsky
And so I think there. I think in that sense, there was a. In the same way that in the gay world, y' all are so smart in how you do relationships, where you go, okay, I. These are my needs. These are my partner's needs. What does fidelity look like for us? Like, it is so smart to do a relationship that way rather than a one size fits all, you know? So I think that there's.
Kelly Ripa
That one size doesn't fit all. And I agree with you. I agree with you. Agree that there is something about gay men in particular don't like when they see people being bullied. They don't like it because they know what it feels like.
Albert Bianchini
It enrages them.
Kelly Ripa
It enrages them. And there's a real rallying around any person that is being bullied or attacked. A real rallying.
Albert Bianchini
That's really astute. That's great.
Kelly Ripa
And I think there's something to that.
Albert Bianchini
I also think you both have an edge to your sense of humor, which is what all gay men have. It's like you're both.
Kelly Ripa
We walk right up to.
Albert Bianchini
You're one degree away from being a.
Kelly Ripa
Gay man right up to the end. I would have made it.
Jan Chalet
Oh, my God.
Monica Lewinsky
I had someone tell me that Once, I think at the airport and she was like going through my. These were in the days of ipods and she was going through my ipod, plugged into the stereo and she was like, who are you looking at? My muse? She's like, you are a gay man. Shaft in a woman's body. I was like, that is true.
Kelly Ripa
That is true. These. I feel the same way. My biggest haters, at least on social media, are women. Do you find that your biggest haters or your trolls are women?
Monica Lewinsky
I get both. I get both. There's what I find with both actually are that they are still stuck in really old narratives and they really need some new jokes.
Kelly Ripa
Probably if they're referring to old narratives from that long ago, they're. They're maybe they're close to death so you won't have to worry about, you know, that's another thing.
Monica Lewinsky
One never knows, right?
Kelly Ripa
Yeah.
Monica Lewinsky
But, you know, it's interesting because, Albert, you guys both mentioning the bullying. I don't know when this is going to air, but. But right now I have, you know the brand Flamingo Estate.
Kelly Ripa
Oh, yeah.
Albert Bianchini
Yes.
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah, yeah. So we. So Richard and I have done a candle collab that she's. Yeah, it's called Blossoming Camellia and Richard's so amazing because I was like, do you think we could do a collab and a small portion of the proceeds could go to these anti bullying charities? And he said, no, all of the proceeds. So all of the proceeds for Blossoming Camellia, Flamingo Estate Candle go to four different anti bullying organizations and that I, that I support and that are. Do incredible things for young people.
Kelly Ripa
Just go to the website.
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah, they'll make great holiday gifts. And there is a gorgeous, gorgeous scent. And then it's the two, the Tyler Clementi foundation and Hetrick Martin Institute in the US and then the Diana Ward in the UK and Project Rocket in Australia, which I've worked with, but is extra great because Richard's Australian.
Kelly Ripa
With the epidemic that is, or pandemic that is social media, because it's getting bigger and bigger and worse and worse and more and more people are connected to it as opposed to being connected to people. I feel that bullying now is something like I was, I've told these guys before when I was on the Soap, like in 1990, if you hated my character, you had to sit down with a pen and a piece of paper and you had to write me a letter and you had to buy a stamp. You'd put it in an envelope. You define the address of ABC Studios in New York and you had to.
Monica Lewinsky
In a phone book.
Kelly Ripa
In a phone book and you had to find me, you had to send that in the mail to tell me to fuck off. That's how you had to do it. Now a thousand people a day can just tell me to fuck off with their thumbs on various platforms. And 99.9% of the time I don't see it. Cause I don't go on social media very often because I find it all very depressing now. Like it gets depressing. What do you think the responsibility of these social media companies are? To control some of what is so like just an epidemic now online bullying. Like you were the first victim, but now everybody is a victim to online bullying.
Monica Lewinsky
I, first of all, I think that I believe Section 230, which kind of governs a lot of these social media companies that allows them to, to have bajillions of dollars, but they actually live under laws and rules of being a startup is I think that there are changes that, that need to happen there and I think there needs to be more responsibility in the same way that if I built a playground, it's my responsibility to make sure that the kids who come play on the playground are safe.
Kelly Ripa
Right.
Monica Lewinsky
We're using, using those things right now. A parent should be there making sure their kid is using the, the equipment safely. Right there there's. What kind of a kid is it? Do they have issues and they need to get help for those issues so they can behave better on the playground? There are all sorts of things. But I, I do think there's a responsibility and I think what has, what has become complicated is I'm now thinking my brain is going into places. But I think what's become complicated is that the way that they money is by an algorithm of outrage. And Tristan Harris has spoken very intelligently and articulately about all of this and there was. I'm going to get his name wrong, which is so embarrassing. Jaron.
Kelly Ripa
Jaron Lanier.
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah. He was talking about that the biggest mistake we made with the Internet was going through an ad based model rather than subscription, like very reasonable subscription.
Kelly Ripa
Right.
Monica Lewinsky
And so that has complicated things. Yeah. So I, I think we all have a responsibility first of all. And it's also reminded me as we're talking about this that this has been an issue you've been supportive of because one of the years I did a PSA campaign and you very generously gave your time to help us create a PSA around helping people take the sting out of the names that they're called. And so I appreciated that, Kelly. It was really helpful.
Kelly Ripa
Before we go, let me ask you this question. It's just. And I'm sure you've been asked this a million times, but let's say you are Monica Lewinsky and you're 24 years old in the year 2025, and same. Everything happens the same. How do you think this scandal unfolds? How do you think the situation unfolds?
Monica Lewinsky
I think that it's. In some ways it's. It is a lot better for the me person. And in some ways it's worse. Right. So I think the better the accountability.
Kelly Ripa
Would be placed in on the right person.
Monica Lewinsky
I would hope so. I think so. I sometimes wonder. I wonder if it were a young, charismatic Democratic president. I wonder if it has swung far enough into the category that we all think it would. I would hope so, but I'm not totally certain. I think just even the concept of abuse of power is something that we. Growing up, it was the only picture that in my mind of abuse of power was Nixon. That was it. Nixon in Watergate.
Kelly Ripa
I.
Monica Lewinsky
There was no other. Not even like in other industries. That was it, you know, and now.
Kelly Ripa
We know that there's abuses of power all the time happening all over the place in every industry.
Monica Lewinsky
Exactly. And so I think there's, you know, there's different language for things that we see happening.
Kelly Ripa
And.
Monica Lewinsky
And I think attention spans are a lot shorter. That actually would have stor. For a story to have legs for a year is like almost unheard of. So in nowadays. So I think in that way, where it would have been better now is also the upside of social media is there would have been a long trail of seeing who I was as a person.
Kelly Ripa
That's right.
Monica Lewinsky
Now I happen to have a very weird sense of humor, so might have gotten in trouble for some of that. You know, I mean, I might have reposted on Instagram, you know, yesterday someone, you know, someone had made a thing about a great Halloween costume or that they had to come at work and they had to come dressed as a song and she had the name tag Eileen and maybe had white stuff all over her face. So like, I, you know, that's my. As I spit.
Kelly Ripa
That's a great costume.
Monica Lewinsky
That's actually, no, I didn't make the meme, but I sure fucking laughed out loud. And I, you know, right.
Albert Bianchini
There is gay sense of humor.
Kelly Ripa
Yeah, exactly. Albert, by the way, Albert is dressing up as that this year.
Monica Lewinsky
So I think that there are ways that also social media would have shown me, I would have been able to see the quiet support that I had that I didn't know existed that you didn't, you know, at the time. Yeah, so. And I think that would have made a really big difference. Yeah, I think that would have made a difference to not. To not feel like I was the most hated person in the world, you.
Kelly Ripa
Know, so it's almost inconceivable to me everything you've been through, but I am so glad that you are so resilient and that you have really. You've carried on with your head held high and you're doing such good work. You're a brilliant writer. You're an amazing podcast host. You're an amazing producer. I'm really proud of you. I'm super, super proud of you. Thank you for doing our podcast. We really appreciate it. Monica Lewinsky, everybody. Thank you so much.
Monica Lewinsky
Thanks, Kelly.
Kelly Ripa
Listeners, don't forget to download Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky wherever you get your podcasts. For God's sakes, do it now. Let's talk Off Camera with Kelly Ripa is a production of Malojo Productions. From Malojo, our team is Kelly Ripa, Marc Consuelos, Albert Bianchini, Jan Chalet, Seth Bronquist, Roz Therian, Devin Schneider, Michael Halperin, Julia Desch, and Team Radio Andy Lisa Mantineo, Scott Marlowe, Jake Getz.
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Monica Lewinsky
And Bubba Wallace.
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Monica Lewinsky
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Episode: Monica Lewinsky: Is Reclaiming her Narrative
Date: December 17, 2025
Guest: Monica Lewinsky
Host: Kelly Ripa
In this episode, Kelly Ripa welcomes Monica Lewinsky for a candid, multilayered conversation about reclaiming one’s narrative, surviving public trauma, and the realities of living under the intense scrutiny of the media and Internet. Centered on Monica’s new podcast “Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky,” the discussion explores Lewinsky’s evolution from “patient zero of online harassment” into a powerful advocate against online bullying and cultural victim-blaming. The conversation blends personal anecdotes, humor, hard-earned wisdom, and cultural critique, offering listeners a rare, unvarnished look at both Lewinsky’s journey and the broader implications for media and society.
This episode is intimate, raw, and laced with humor. Monica’s self-awareness and wit are matched by Kelly’s warmth and fierce advocacy. The mood balances empathy, candor, and the occasional snark typical of the host. The show makes space for vulnerability and insight without ever feeling preachy or self-congratulatory.
Through anecdotes, sharp observations, and moments of levity, Lewinsky and Ripa illuminate what it truly means to reclaim one’s narrative—and why that matters far beyond individual trauma. The episode doesn’t just revisit the past; it’s a testament to growth, the enduring power of connection, and the possibility of change, for both people and culture.
Recommended: Download and listen to Monica’s podcast, “Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky,” for more compelling conversations.