Monica Lewinsky: Is Reclaiming her Narrative

Summary

Let's Talk Off Camera with Kelly Ripa

Episode: Monica Lewinsky: Is Reclaiming her Narrative
Date: December 17, 2025
Guest: Monica Lewinsky
Host: Kelly Ripa

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Kelly Ripa welcomes Monica Lewinsky for a candid, multilayered conversation about reclaiming one’s narrative, surviving public trauma, and the realities of living under the intense scrutiny of the media and Internet. Centered on Monica’s new podcast “Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky,” the discussion explores Lewinsky’s evolution from “patient zero of online harassment” into a powerful advocate against online bullying and cultural victim-blaming. The conversation blends personal anecdotes, humor, hard-earned wisdom, and cultural critique, offering listeners a rare, unvarnished look at both Lewinsky’s journey and the broader implications for media and society.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Redefining Monica’s Narrative

• The Burden of a Narrative: Monica discusses the dual burden she carried: presumed to have gone to Washington “with an agenda” while also being dismissed as “stupid” ([00:57], [23:27]). Part of her healing process was “holding on to every textbook I had because I just thought this is some symbolism of I’m not a dumb bimbo.”
  • Quote: “This idea of me having gone to Washington with an agenda or that I was stupid, you know, that was something I contended with for a long time.” – Monica Lewinsky [00:57]
• Media Invention and the Real Person: The group reflects on the massive disconnect between Lewinsky’s real self and her public portrayal:
  • Quote: “To know her... you realize that the press, the collective, the narrative has gotten everything wrong about a person that they could possibly get wrong.” – Kelly Ripa [03:56]
• Young Women and Scrutiny: Monica and Kelly discuss how young women like Monica or Amanda Knox become “simple villains” in narratives shaped by media sensationalism.

2. Origins & Ambitions of Reclaiming

• Inspiration Behind the Podcast: The title and concept grew from Monica’s personal notes and thoughts on memoir-writing, eventually shifting focus outward to the reclamation stories of others.
  • Quote: “The concept of reclaiming actually started for me in my notes app as something... [then] it just started to feel more interesting to actually look outward and have those conversations.” – Monica Lewinsky [07:04]
• Challenges in Podcasting: Lewinsky discusses misjudging how hard podcasting would be, comparing it to being a dinner party guest:
  • Quote: “As you know. I mean, it’s just. It’s a very different kind of skill set than just being at a dinner party.” – Monica Lewinsky [09:21]

3. Memorable Guests and Moments on ‘Reclaiming’

• Highlighted interviews include Miley Cyrus, who described her 2013 as Monica’s 1998, and John Oliver, whose conversation veered into taboo language and deathbed wisdom ([10:19]):
  • Quote: “Her [Miley’s] saying to me, you know, that her 2013 was my 1998 was just, like, such an incredible conversation lane to go in.” – Monica Lewinsky [10:29]
  • Quote: “We ended up, like, talking about the word cunt. And we said... like we said cunt seven times in one minute.” – Monica Lewinsky [11:26]
• Kelly, a frequent text-user of the C-word herself, and Monica reflect on humor and shared catharsis as coping mechanisms.

4. Political Trauma and the Long Tail of 1998

• Election Triggers: Monica admits that certain election cycles or political events, such as government furloughs, can resurface old wounds ([12:04], [14:05]).
  • Quote: “It’s sort of the long tail of 1998 and all the people who are connected who are... it’s the draft of fuckery.” – Monica Lewinsky [14:05]
• Intergenerational Perspective: Monica and Kelly discuss the shift in how younger generations view past scandals, propelled by Monica’s 2014 essay:
  • Quote: “It was the younger generations’ response to the essay... they were the ones who... insisted on revisiting this story through a more modern lens.” – Monica Lewinsky [16:15]

5. Media Brainwashing & The Birth of 24/7 News

• Monica breaks down how her scandal coincided with the start of 24-hour cable news competition and pre-social-media Internet—creating “a blanketing” effect ([20:53]):
  • Quote: “Because it was on the scale that it was with the president, it just blanketed... I think there were 125 articles on this story in just the first 10 days.” – Monica Lewinsky [21:48]
• The legal complexities kept her publicly silent, allowing a damaging, false narrative to harden ([22:26]).

6. Consequences, Sacrifice, and Empathy

• Career and Income: Monica shares that she turned down ~$11 million in offers to maintain self-respect ([28:06]):
  • Quote: “I had turned down like $11 million, which was a lot of money for me... I’d sat down at some point and figured out that... I had turned down like $11 million.” – Monica Lewinsky [28:38]
• Tabloid Fodder and Dating: She’s dated “extraordinary men” yet maintains fiercely guarded privacy; trust is hard-won but not lost ([29:28]).
  • Quote: “If you’ve broken my trust, it’s pretty hard for me to ever really fully trust with such an open heart again.” – Monica Lewinsky [30:23]
• Resilience: Both Kelly and Monica reflect on the redemptive power of true friendship versus betrayal and how trauma changes decision-making and vigilance ([31:17]).

7. Elastic Definition of ‘Reclaiming’

• The podcast and Monica herself embrace a broad concept of reclaiming—ranging from massive public trauma to minor acts of personal resilience (e.g., regaining composure during LA road rage) ([34:30]):
  • Quote: “It’s so interesting to me because it encompasses like, loss and grief and resilience and strategy and perseverance and you haven’t reclaimed until you have that triumph.” – Monica Lewinsky [33:21]

8. Media, Social Media, and Bullying

• Why the Gay Community Rallied: Monica and Kelly discuss how gay men, familiar with bullying, identified strongly with Monica in 1998, rallying to her side ([39:21]).
  • Quote: “The gay community was really supportive of me in 98, and I think some of that was because I was experiencing such a public shaming around and connected to sexuality.” – Monica Lewinsky [39:40]
• Misogyny and Social Media: Both women note that their harshest online critics are women; Monica observes how trolls cling to outdated narratives ([41:09]).
• Monica’s Anti-Bullying Advocacy: All proceeds from her Blossoming Camellia candle benefit anti-bullying organizations ([42:18]).

9. Modern Scandals and Would It Be Different Today?

• Monica imagines how her scandal would play out today ([46:47]):
  • Upside: There’d be more accountability and ways to showcase her real self via social media.
  • Downside: Attention spans are shorter; some biases endure.
  • Quote: “For a story to have legs for a year is almost unheard of... But also social media would have shown me, I would have been able to see the quiet support that I had that I didn’t know existed.” – Monica Lewinsky [48:28]-[49:49]

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Survival: “She’s a testament to what the human spirit can survive and endure and thrive out of.” – Kelly Ripa [04:59]
• Monica’s Humor: “I consider myself lucky that I am still so open. It would have been very easy to see another path where my heart and everything just closed up for good.” – Monica Lewinsky [30:23]
• Media Brainwashing: “We call it the brainwashing in my family, but it’s like they didn’t go through the brainwashing.” – Monica Lewinsky [16:44]
• Talking Taboo: “As a Catholic, a lot of times... I worry about burning in hell. But I was so steadfast in my feelings about this that I was like, I felt good sending that text.” – Kelly Ripa [11:44]
• Friendship After Betrayal: “So much of my downfall had been because I had chosen the wrong friend. And yet I have such extraordinary friends. I am just really, really lucky in that sense.” – Monica Lewinsky [31:42]
• On Social Media Bullying: “There are changes that need to happen there and I think there needs to be more responsibility, in the same way that if I built a playground, it’s my responsibility to make sure that the kids who come play... are safe.” – Monica Lewinsky [45:14]
• Resilience Defined: “You haven’t reclaimed until you have that triumph.” – Monica Lewinsky [33:21]

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Important Timestamps

• 00:57 – Monica on her public image and fighting the “bimbo” narrative
• 07:04 – Origins of the “Reclaiming” podcast
• 10:29 – Monica on memorable podcast guests (Miley Cyrus, John Oliver)
• 14:05 – “The long tail of 1998” and recurring political trauma
• 16:15 – The impact of Lewinsky's 2014 Vanity Fair essay and generational shifts
• 21:48 – Anatomy of the media onslaught in 1998
• 28:38 – The true financial cost of personal integrity
• 30:23 – Trust, privacy, and friendship after public betrayal
• 33:21 – The “elastic” nature of reclaiming
• 39:40 – Why Monica became an icon for the gay community
• 41:09 – Social media trolling and Monica’s response
• 42:18 – Monica’s anti-bullying charity campaign
• 46:47 – Hypothetical: How would the Lewinsky scandal play out today?
• 49:49 – How today’s social media might have offered support during the original scandal

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Tone and Language

This episode is intimate, raw, and laced with humor. Monica’s self-awareness and wit are matched by Kelly’s warmth and fierce advocacy. The mood balances empathy, candor, and the occasional snark typical of the host. The show makes space for vulnerability and insight without ever feeling preachy or self-congratulatory.

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Conclusion

Through anecdotes, sharp observations, and moments of levity, Lewinsky and Ripa illuminate what it truly means to reclaim one’s narrative—and why that matters far beyond individual trauma. The episode doesn’t just revisit the past; it’s a testament to growth, the enduring power of connection, and the possibility of change, for both people and culture.

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Recommended: Download and listen to Monica’s podcast, “Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky,” for more compelling conversations.

Transcript

[Commercial Narrator]

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[Kelly Ripa]

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[Monica Lewinsky]

This idea of me having gone to Washington with an agenda or that I was stupid, you know, that was something I contended with for a long time. I mean, part of going to graduate school and holding on to every textbook I had because I just thought this is some symbolism of I'm not a dumb bimbo.

[Kelly Ripa]

Somebody gotta cue me or do I cue myself?

[Albert Bianchini]

Cue yourself.

[Kelly Ripa]

Okay. All right everybody. We are back with another let's talk off camera. So let's get talking. Woo. Ashley, I'm going to tell you a story. Buckle up. There was a time, yes, a time, I tell you, before social media, you were not born yet. When our Next guest was 24 years old, she endured one of the most public and painful experiences a young woman, man, person could possibly face. Becoming what she likes to call the patient zero of online harassment. Boy, that's the understatement of the century. But what truly defines her isn't the scandal, it's what she's done. In the aftermath, she has redefined what it means to reclaim a narrative transforming personal trauma into public service. Monica Lewinsky has since dedicated her life to changing the cultural conversation around victim blaming and online cruelty. She delivered that incredible TED talk, the Price of Shame, and even produced an Emmy nominated series, American Crime Story, Colon Impeachment, which I was watched every episode. It was riveting. Riveting. She's here today to share her new project, a podcast aptly called Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky. I adore this woman. I've known her a long time. I met her through Anderson and Benjamin.

[Albert Bianchini]

Oh, really?

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah. And she's just a gift of. She's a gift of a human being. And it's very Funny. I always. I reference my children a lot. There's a handful of people. Ellen Barkin is one of them. Monica Lewinsky is another one. Albert, over here to my right is another one. If you tell my kids that. That these people are coming for dinner, all of my kids show up like it is like a dinner bell because they just have so much love for them. I can't wait to get into it all. All of her trials and triumphs with her. Albert, what do you have to say?

[Albert Bianchini]

I love her. I. I mean, I'm obsessed with her. When I met her here, I was telling them that I took a cab home with her. We were just laughing. She was telling these outrageous stories. She's just great.

[Kelly Ripa]

She's a normal girl.

[Albert Bianchini]

She's a normal person. And when you spend five minutes with her, you're like, oh, you're so much more than anything that. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's incredible. And the depth, the humor is beyond. I just am in love with her. I think she's great.

[Kelly Ripa]

It's very funny because she was so written about, so talked about, so scrutinized, so analyzed, and yet it's funny to know her. You realize that the press, the collective, the narrative has gotten everything wrong about a person that they could possibly get wrong.

[Jan Chalet]

Well, it was crazy because last night I get on the phone with Luke and he said he had just gotten out of his news media and ethics class, and he said, guess what the topic is? Because I had spoken to him about over the weekend what I was, like, working on. And he said today's topic was Monica Lewinsky. Like, what is the chances?

[Kelly Ripa]

That's crazy.

[Jan Chalet]

The timing of that.

[Kelly Ripa]

The timing of it.

[Jan Chalet]

Insane. So he's like, I want to hear this podcast when you're done. He's like, I want to hear how it goes.

[Kelly Ripa]

Luke is going to listen to our podcast.

[Jan Chalet]

I know it's true.

[Kelly Ripa]

Holy. Tell him to tell his friends.

[Jan Chalet]

Also, I think that he told the teacher to get some credit. And the teacher was like, well, I want to hear it, too. So, like, we're going to be.

[Monica Lewinsky]

We're going to be part of a.

[Kelly Ripa]

Michigan class that is very exciting for us. We're going to be part of.

[Albert Bianchini]

Can we be played in a classroom, do you think?

[Kelly Ripa]

What will they play our voices in a classroom? Maybe.

[Jan Chalet]

I don't know.

[Kelly Ripa]

Go blue. She is a testament to what the human spirit can survive and endure and thrive out of. And I will say, I say this to her all the time. Trauma agrees with her.

[Jan Chalet]

I wonder what she thinks about this. I hate the phrase, like, everything happens for a reason, but I feel like she's doing so much good now with what happened to her. But I like, I don't know, does everything really happen for a reason?

[Kelly Ripa]

No, that happened for no reason. That happened because Linda Tripp was an asshole. I mean, there are a lot of assholes in this story. Don't get me wrong. There's tons of assholes. Yeah. But the one person who was held to the highest Standard was the 24 year old intern.

[Jan Chalet]

Yeah.

[Kelly Ripa]

Isn't that crazy?

[Jan Chalet]

It is crazy. It's absolutely.

[Kelly Ripa]

That was the person that was held to the highest standard and everybody else sort of moved on with their lives. Yeah. You know, and I, I don't want to get enraged before she logs on.

[Jan Chalet]

Okay, well, she's ready.

[Kelly Ripa]

She is talking.

[Albert Bianchini]

Gorgeous.

[Kelly Ripa]

Hi. Albert's here too.

[Albert Bianchini]

Oh, yeah. Let me say hi, Albert. How are you? How's it going?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Good. How are you doing?

[Albert Bianchini]

Great. You look amazing.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Thank you. I have dirty hair.

[Albert Bianchini]

I love the highlights.

[Kelly Ripa]

That your dirty hair. Is that what your hair looks like when it's dirty? Jesus. Okay. Are you one of these girls that gets your hair blown out like once a week and it just stays? Yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yes. But you know what? I was never a girl who had a good metabolism, so I got the hair gene, but not the metabolism gene.

[Kelly Ripa]

No, you've got all the good stuff. All right, so thank you for joining us. Monica Lewinsky is here. Woo. We claiming reclaiming naming is such a brilliant, brilliant name for your podcast.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Thank you.

[Kelly Ripa]

How did you come up with the idea? What made you leap into the space? I don't know why I have this unjustified protective feeling towards you. So I'm always like, oh, because we're friends. Because we're friends. But also. Yes. And I, I have to know, like, was there hesitation on your part?

[Monica Lewinsky]

So much. Okay, all the things. So the concept of reclaiming actually started for me in my notes app as something, I think it was not long after Michelle Obama had come out with becoming and I was like, okay, everybody's titles are a one word ing. And maybe at some point I'd write a memoir. And I was thinking, okay, this could be really interesting or a good framework for something that doesn't have to feel too linear and could be reclaiming this and reclaiming that, et cetera. And then about a year, I guess a year and a half ago or so, it just started to, like, in working with people on what should I be doing and talking about different ideas, it just started to feel more Interesting to actually look outward and have those conversations outward than just with myself. And so I wish I had listened to actually. Do you know Cindy Berger at all?

[Kelly Ripa]

Oh, yeah, I know her, but I don't know her well.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, Cindy's a friend of mine, and I'm constantly kicking myself wishing that I had listened to her, like, 15 years ago when she was saying, you should start a podcast and you'd be the.

[Kelly Ripa]

Pioneer and you'd be up here.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Right, right. I'd be doing this interview from my beach house.

[Kelly Ripa]

So we say it all the time. Yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

So then it was. Of course, I was. I was nervous about jumping in. But I think what was funny about the beginning process for me was I thought since you've had me to your home for dinner before, I consider myself a very good dinner party.

[Kelly Ripa]

You are the best. We just. I just said. I just regaled these guys. Let me tell you something. My kids, I always say this, like, there's a handful of people, and by handful, I mean, like, three that will get them all to come home for dinner. And you are one of those people because they just adore you. They simply.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Well, you've raised. You and Mark have raised some extraordinary children. Really, really smart, but unique and balanced and. And kind and funny. All the good things. Yeah, all the good and important things, but.

[Kelly Ripa]

So you are a great dinner party guest.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Thank you. So I thought this would be very easy. I thought it would be, like, basically like, yeah, okay, I'm curious about people. How hard could it be? It's hard. It's very hard. As you know. I mean, it's just. It's a very different kind of skill set than just being at a dinner party. And so the challenge has proven to be good for me. But it was very hard in the beginning and really hard to stand up a show, too. Just, you know, oh, what do you want the key art to look like? And what do you want the music? I was like, I don't fucking know. You know? You know, we. We ended up licensing a song that I really loved because I kept saying, well, more like this. More, you know, so it's just all the things. But it's been really great, and I'm grateful, and I just enjoying it immensely.

[Kelly Ripa]

Who's a person that you had on that, like, knocked your socks off?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Oh, my God. I would say some of the highlights moments this year have probably been Miley Cyrus came on.

[Kelly Ripa]

Oh, my gosh.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, she was amazing. And she just. She'd done her homework in just even thinking about the kind of conversation she wanted to have on the show. And her saying to me, you know, that her 2013 was my 1998 was just, like, such an incredible conversation lane to go in. And I. I found her bright and funny as. She's so funny. I hope she, like, writes a rom com at some point or does something because she's so funny and, you know, just work. She's. She's put in the work on herself. So that was great. John Oliver coming on and talking to me about his grandpa's last words. And then we ended up. I don't know if I can swear on your podcast, but yeah. So we ended up, like, talking about the word cunt. And we said. I think it counted. It was like we said cunt seven times in one minute.

[Kelly Ripa]

So I am a liberal user of that word. And I texted you that word once, if you recall. I won't get into why or how, but if you recall, something happened and I just texted you something and the C word was in there and I felt good about it.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Exactly.

[Kelly Ripa]

As a Catholic, a lot of times I'll. And then I worry about burning in hell. But I was so steadfast in my feelings about this that I was like, I felt good sending that text.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

We. I've got to get you on, Kelly. I know we've been trying with schedules and things. I would just.

[Kelly Ripa]

You're always.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I would love it anytime.

[Kelly Ripa]

Does election night, like, trigger you in any way? Like, I can't help. But some years.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, some years, like, I'm watching.

[Kelly Ripa]

I'm watching our current state. State of the world, and I am triggered every day, all the time, constantly. And I often think about you, and I think Monica must feel this in a different way. She must feel this all differently.

[Monica Lewinsky]

You know, in some ways. In some ways I do. In some ways, I don't. I'd say most election cycles, I have probably felt like everyone else. So I'm middle of the road, Democrat, some libertarian here and there, some lefty views. I don't think I have any Republican views, but I am middle of the road. I'm curious what your thoughts are on this, because I've struggled with it in the sense that I've wondered, like, oh, fudge, are we now Gen Xers? Are we now at the age where it's like the younger generations want to turn the page on how we're doing politics and we're now that place, and.

[Kelly Ripa]

So it scares the shit out of me. Yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

So it is really interesting to kind of just have to think about okay, well, I think I'm right. I think I know what I'm talking about and what we should do and all those things. But then I wonder, okay, these younger generations, they have to live with the consequences of all of these decisions a lot longer than we will. And so it's. It's something I've. I try to accept. I don't do a very good job of it, but there were, you know, there were some years that were obviously a lot harder. And I think that the. It's sort of the long tail of 1998 and all the people who are connected who are, you know, it's the draft of fuckery.

[Kelly Ripa]

It's like a fuckery draft. A fuckery wake up behind you. Yeah, right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah. So, you know, and it's been. I think it's been really weird the last. Probably the last few weeks, just because I've had all these really personal touch points to what's going on in the government of. Oh, there's a furlough. Okay, well, I lived through a furlough and that was going into a lot of trouble. Started there. And then when all the journalists who were down the hall from me when I worked at the Pentagon, because I worked for the Pentagon spokesman, when they were all kicked out of, you know, the E ring here. I don't remember what our whatchamacallit was hallway, but so that felt really personal. And. And now they knocked down where my office was, you know, in the east wing. I think what is strange, I don't know if you've had this experience too, as a public person, you're connected more to entertainment than politics. So something will just come out of the blue, a reference that'll come out of the blue in the least expected places. I mean, I might be reading a fucking novel and.

[Kelly Ripa]

And you're like, me, why am I here?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, so it's a very. It's a very, very weird existence that way. But, you know, I think one of the things that I've loved about, kind of about doing the podcast and having these conversations with people is it's. It doesn't matter where someone's coming from, what their experiences have been. They're just all these crossovers that we have. And I think in. In experience that almost like how when they talk about transferable skills from job, it's almost these transferable experiences that we have. And it allows us, I think, to just feel a lot less alone, a lot less unique. I mean, some of the things about my case are definitely unique still, but, you know, they're just those, those moments where you also, you just sort of fall in deep in recognizing how similar we all are.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah. When you wrote that essay for Vanity fair, was it 2014, do you think that was like a paradigm shift for you?

[Monica Lewinsky]

It was in a really interesting way in that and it took a little time, but it was the younger generations response to the essay. So the ones who were too young to know what was going on or not yet born, and they were the ones who were sort of insisted on revisiting this story through a more modern lens because in large part because they weren't. You know, we call it the brainwashing in my family.

[Katie Nolan]

Family.

[Monica Lewinsky]

But it's like they didn't go through the brainwashing. And so I think that when you didn't live through it and you don't have to ask yourself questions of, was I wrong? No. No one ever likes to be wrong.

[Kelly Ripa]

Right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

So getting people to change a view, you know, to evolve their view on things can be really complicated. But this younger generation, they, they were the ones who just insisted on, on revisiting this story. And I could not be more grateful.

[Kelly Ripa]

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[Jan Chalet]

Well, I will say that we did this on the show. We had producers on the show use this and we did a makeover with them and I really saw a difference. The before and afters were insane.

[Kelly Ripa]

It's wild, right?

[Jan Chalet]

Yeah, it was unbelievable.

[Kelly Ripa]

I know. So grab it today. Grab it today for as low as $19.99. Perfect stocking stuffer for you and for the people you love. Here's to glowing inside and out this holiday season. Thanks to l'. Oreal.

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[Commercial Narrator]

Based on the best selling novel, Amanda Seyfried and Sydney Sweeney star in the Housemaid A wildly entertaining thriller about a live in housemaid and the wealthy Winchester family Experience a twisted world where perfection is an illusion and nothing is as it seems. The shocking twists will leave you guessing until the very end. Can you keep a secret? The Housemaid Rated R. Only in theaters December 19th. Get tickets now.

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[Monica Lewinsky]

We get the deals, you give the.

[Marshall's Advertiser]

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[Kelly Ripa]

Explain to our listeners like the brainwashing.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Well, I think it was, you know, 1998 was the beginning of, you know, the Internet, but not social media. I mean now the Internet had existed, but it was something where we were at a point where many people had dial up at home. It was the year to understand where we're moving. The end of 1998 is when Google launched. We had the Internet. We had 24 hour cable news. But what had really started very recently in 96 and 97 was the competition. CNN had been around for 20 years and they were their 24 hour news cycle. I remember my dad watching like all about the Iraq war, you know, everything happening. Right. All on cnn. That's it.

[Kelly Ripa]

That was it.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And now, and now the competition happened. So with the competition, it meant they were all having to shift in how they were approaching things. So you, you have those two kind of pieces happening at the same time that this story erupted. And because it was on the scale that it was with the president, it just blanketed. I think there was a statistic I found at some point that I think there were 125 articles on this story in just the first 10 days. And it might have been just the Washington Post.

[Kelly Ripa]

Right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Like it just blanketed everywhere. And I think because, because everybody was in legal jeopardy, it meant this wasn't just spin of what's the best way to spin a story and do people step forward and tell the truth now or not? There was legal jeopardy. So it was complicated and I didn't have a voice. I couldn't. I mean, I literally was told by my lawyers, you cannot speak publicly because it will put you in legal jeopardy.

[Kelly Ripa]

So, and then when you can't speak.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah.

[Kelly Ripa]

When there's a vacuum, narrative forms around you. And I, I was saying before you logged on to Albert and Jan, I was saying that knowing you, the way I know you, knowing who you are, to go back and revisit, it's like looking at a stranger. Because the portrayal of you.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah.

[Kelly Ripa]

Versus who you are are so dichotomous. Yeah. It makes no sense.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I mean, some of it, I think some of that, that sort of dichotomous chasm as you're talking about, I think was also filled by maturity. Right. So as I got older. Right. But this idea of me having gone to Washington with an agenda or, or that I was stupid, you know, that was something I contended with for a long time. I mean, part of, you know, going to graduate school and coming out of graduate school and holding on to every textbook I had and all these books I bought when I was there, because I just thought this is some symbolism of I'm not a dumb bimbo and I don't always make smart choices, that's.

[Kelly Ripa]

For sure, given your age and given the circumstances, because you're dealing with the most powerful person in the world and.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Charismatic too, you know, So, I mean, there's, there's the, there are all of the narratives of power, but then there are the ways that people use their power and how power shows up. And so I think that's. I think that can be a lethal combination.

[Kelly Ripa]

Right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

You know, but it's, you know, one of the other projects that I. This last year that sort of. I had reclaiming and, you know, doing the weekly podcast and so. Which is a lot. But also launching the Twisted tale of Amanda Knox on Hulu, which is so brilliant. Oh, I mean, I'd like to say thank you, but really, that's the showrunner, KJ Steinberg.

[Kelly Ripa]

So another story, another young girl who is portrayed as a monster in the media. Right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And it. And it's. I think that this idea that as we started to become more and more bombarded by media. Right. Because there are now so many more outlets. There's so many. Right. It used to be when. When you and I were growing up, there were a handful of newspapers, a handful of radio shows of the news, and a handful of news programs only at night.

[Kelly Ripa]

Right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Then maybe there were the morning shows. At some point, there were three channels.

[Kelly Ripa]

I mean, there were three channels.

[Monica Lewinsky]

So you didn't have the opportunity to make much money.

[Kelly Ripa]

Right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And I think that's part of what starts to drive a lot of these stories from what we're seeing in that. In that time frame, too. And with Amanda, you know, in this micro sense, I felt she deserved to have her story revisited and. And to be a part of that storytelling. She was also an executive producer on the project. And in the macro sense, it was really, you know, thinking about how do we try to help society shift so that this doesn't happen, period, to another young person or it doesn't happen and cause as much damage or happen for as long. You know, there is a very long tail of this kind of trauma and.

[Kelly Ripa]

This kind of stigma, particularly around young women.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah.

[Kelly Ripa]

There's always a simple villain in every narrative. It's always a young woman, no matter. No matter what the circumstance.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Right.

[Kelly Ripa]

It's irresistible.

[Monica Lewinsky]

One of the reasons I was so grateful to Hulu and Disney, that they were. They were really sort of brave enough to let us have these episodes where we go into the aftermath, which was really important to Amanda and me, because people, when you're the subject of these things, what you end up receiving when things are over is like, just move on. And people mean well, you know, there. Some people, some people don't. Some people are snarky about it, but. But by and large, most people mean well. They're sort of like, well, don't dwell in all this.

[Kelly Ripa]

It's easy for them to say because it didn't happen to them. Right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And so I think that there's this, in trying to open up a window for people to see what is an aftermath of something like this look like. How does it impact your entire family? How does it impact your ability to ear income? What are the choices you end up having to make? You know, going through my experience, I really learned to not judge women who have found themselves in difficult situations who then chose to pose nude for money because you know what, that sometimes I was lucky. I came from an upper middle class family who could help me. Some people don't and that's their only option.

[Kelly Ripa]

I'm thinking about the amount of like job offers that you could have had.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Or, or, or the offers that I, you know something, I think we never like I sat down at some point and figured out that just even up until I think it was maybe 2000, maybe it was the early 2010s. And this may not sound like an enormous amount of money in today's world. I don't know, you know, depends on, on your perspective. But I had turned down like $11 million, which was a lot of money for me. That's a lot of money.

[Kelly Ripa]

Extraordinary amount of money.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And that's like base money, not sort of, oh well, it could have grown into these, whether it was investments or projects that would have had ongoing. And so I think there's the, what you turn down, there's what's coming towards you, what you have to turn down to try to be able to look yourself in the mirror if you can.

[Kelly Ripa]

What did they want you to do for $11 million?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Oh, no, it wasn't one offer for 11 million.

[Kelly Ripa]

Oh, a combination.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Combination, yeah.

[Kelly Ripa]

So you were so young when all of this happened. So I'm trying to think back to like, you're so special. Like you're so smart, you're so sophisticated. Kelly, you're really funny, you're super kind and you're gorgeous. Have you ever been able to go on a normal date?

[Monica Lewinsky]

You know, I, my friends who've known me since before 98 would probably tell you, oh, it was never going to be a normal date for me. No matter what.

[Kelly Ripa]

No matter what. Okay, that's good. That's comforting. That's comforting.

[Monica Lewinsky]

But, but you know, yeah, I have. I've dated some really extraordinary men and I'm very private about my, my personal life and I feel very lucky. You know, Did I go through periods of time where there was like a real dearth of dating? Yes. Have there been some not great men? Yes, certainly what happened in 98 made it more complicated.

[Kelly Ripa]

Do you have a hard time trusting people when you meet them now or are you so like with your circle? Everybody you meet is like pre vetted. Because when I met you, I was shocked at how open you were.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, I consider myself lucky that, that I am still so open. I think it's really. It would have been very easy to see another path where my heart and, and everything just closed up for good. And so I, I have a, like, my trust system is sort of weird in that I'm very. I'm fairly trusting. But my, if my spidey sense goes up, like my spidey sense is pretty well tuned and if my spidey sense I pull way, way, way back. And if you've broken my trust, it's pretty hard for me to ever really fully trust with such an open heart again.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

So. And I, and I'm probably quick to. Quick to alert. You know, I'm. I'm hyper vigilant.

[Kelly Ripa]

I have to say. I am so impressed with the. I know that you have to be hyper vigilant, but I am so impressed with the openness with which you enter a room and it is received. I mean, I've been in the room, I've watched you work the room, and you are so loved and received by your friends with the same spirit.

[Monica Lewinsky]

It's so funny, I'll joke a lot that so much of my downfall had been because I had chosen the wrong friend. And yet I have such extraordinary friends. I am so lucky. I am just really, really lucky in that sense.

[Kelly Ripa]

Again, you were so young with this much older friend who we will not refer to. But what I'm saying is we've all like, I don't know a person in this room who hasn't had a really shitty friend. Now, our shitty friends had no power or no access to power or anything like that. But we've all had a friend where I'm like so fucked up, you know, and it makes you like question your decision making where you think to yourself, how could I have let this person into my life? How could I have not seen that this person wanted evil for me or bad things to happen to me, you know? And it does like, it gives you like that sort of be on the lookout. Yeah, I think I'm more closed off than you are, which is a testament to how good you are.

[Monica Lewinsky]

But no, I think that. I think I look at someone who's had the career that you've had and who's been in the business and moved into different lanes in the ways that you have and risen and work so hard to get there. I think that you, you've had different kinds of experiences that would, that would lead you to be more discerning in different ways than me. It all falls under this idea. And that's sort of what is so exciting to me about reclaiming. And we use this really elastic definition on the show that I think that it's, I think sometimes people think they're going to be coming into kind of a self helpy, you know, someone's trauma story and how they got better. And it is, it's. Sometimes that's a part of the conversation, but it's very elastic because the, the idea of having something that is lost or taken from you and getting it back, that whole process, like, it's so interesting to me because it encompasses like, loss and grief and resilience and strategy and perseverance and you haven't reclaimed until you have that triumph. And so all of those things are in there. And I think we are, we're all reclaiming all the time in, in, in really monumental ways, but also in small ways. You know, like, I, I joke about it, but it's, I have really bad road rage. I don't think you've driven with me before.

[Kelly Ripa]

No, yeah, I would. I, I want to get in the car. I want to know about road rage to be good.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Like, I try to really keep myself in check when someone else is in the car.

[Kelly Ripa]

But that's like, isn't that California living, though? Don't, don't. Oh, don't have road rage. Just in internally. Yeah. Yes.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Albert is saying joke is that everybody's just hungry. Like they're just, you know, they got.

[Kelly Ripa]

To get to Erwan. They got to get their 85 milkshake.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Basically. Like a small reclaiming for me is when I will yell face. But then I, I find I reclaim my calm and I don't flick the person off. Like, that's a tiny reclaiming.

[Kelly Ripa]

That's from New Jersey. Being from New Jersey, that's huge because I would say face and then, you know, try to cut them off deliberately.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I, you know, I stopped doing that a few years ago when someone pulled a gun on someone on Crescent Heights and Sunset. I was like, oh, I'm at that intersection a lot. And so I try to, you know, do all the things.

[Kelly Ripa]

But when are you going to write your memoir? First of all, you're an amazing writer, so you're an incredible writer. So you've Got that skill set. And talk about $11 million. Yeah. I bet you to be twice that much. I mean, those publishing houses will go on a megabit. Yeah, no, they.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I mean megabit. I wanted to write for a long time and had tried and it didn't work and. And then I got to a place where just that voice just kept saying, not now, not yet, not yet, not yet. So I'm kind of waiting for that knowing to. To say, okay, now, you know, and.

[Kelly Ripa]

You'Ll know when the time is right. I will.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I mean, I was thinking the other day that, that in 2028 it will be 30 years. Right. Is that right? Yeah, 30 years. It will be 30 years. And so.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah. Because I'll be 58, more importantly.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, exactly.

[Kelly Ripa]

Which is practically 60. We can all agree.

[Monica Lewinsky]

You know what? I have friends who just turned 70 and they are so fabulous. Like if I can be half as amazing as they are.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

At 70, like I'm doing life right.

[Kelly Ripa]

That's when you really don't give any fucks anymore.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Exactly.

[Kelly Ripa]

70.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Exactly.

[Kelly Ripa]

They're gone. Albert, you have a question?

[Albert Bianchini]

Monica, here's my question. Yeah, I'm put my face on because I the. The comparison between you and Kelly on this topic. Why did gay men flock to the tune?

[Kelly Ripa]

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[Kelly Ripa]

Hey there.

[Katie Nolan]

It's Katie Nolan, host of Casuals, the sports podcast where we don't care how much you know about sports.

[Kelly Ripa]

Sports.

[Katie Nolan]

We're just happy that you're here. Every week, I hang out with some of my good friends to discuss the biggest stories across sports and entertainment, but in a way that's, like, fun and not boring. Want to know Sue Bird's favorite Diana Taurasi story? Or how heavy the Larry o' Brien trophy is? Or even what baseball team is right for you based on your moon sign? We got you. Listen to Casuals every Tuesday and Thursday on the Sirius XM app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kelly Ripa]

Bye.

[Albert Bianchini]

Monica. Here's my question. Yeah, I'm gonna put my face on because I. The. The comparison between you and Kelly on this topic. Why did gay men flock to the two of you? Clearly, you have the most important and the most iconic gay men in both of your lives. What do you think the reason is?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Oh, my God.

[Jan Chalet]

Okay.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I. Okay, I think for me, I. The gay community was really supportive of me in 98, and I think some of that was because I was experiencing such a public shaming around and connected to sexuality.

[Kelly Ripa]

Wow.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And so I think there. I think in that sense, there was a. In the same way that in the gay world, y' all are so smart in how you do relationships, where you go, okay, I. These are my needs. These are my partner's needs. What does fidelity look like for us? Like, it is so smart to do a relationship that way rather than a one size fits all, you know? So I think that there's.

[Kelly Ripa]

That one size doesn't fit all. And I agree with you. I agree with you. Agree that there is something about gay men in particular don't like when they see people being bullied. They don't like it because they know what it feels like.

[Albert Bianchini]

It enrages them.

[Kelly Ripa]

It enrages them. And there's a real rallying around any person that is being bullied or attacked. A real rallying.

[Albert Bianchini]

That's really astute. That's great.

[Kelly Ripa]

And I think there's something to that.

[Albert Bianchini]

I also think you both have an edge to your sense of humor, which is what all gay men have. It's like you're both.

[Kelly Ripa]

We walk right up to.

[Albert Bianchini]

You're one degree away from being a.

[Kelly Ripa]

Gay man right up to the end. I would have made it.

[Jan Chalet]

Oh, my God.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I had someone tell me that Once, I think at the airport and she was like going through my. These were in the days of ipods and she was going through my ipod, plugged into the stereo and she was like, who are you looking at? My muse? She's like, you are a gay man. Shaft in a woman's body. I was like, that is true.

[Kelly Ripa]

That is true. These. I feel the same way. My biggest haters, at least on social media, are women. Do you find that your biggest haters or your trolls are women?

[Monica Lewinsky]

I get both. I get both. There's what I find with both actually are that they are still stuck in really old narratives and they really need some new jokes.

[Kelly Ripa]

Probably if they're referring to old narratives from that long ago, they're. They're maybe they're close to death so you won't have to worry about, you know, that's another thing.

[Monica Lewinsky]

One never knows, right?

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

But, you know, it's interesting because, Albert, you guys both mentioning the bullying. I don't know when this is going to air, but. But right now I have, you know the brand Flamingo Estate.

[Kelly Ripa]

Oh, yeah.

[Albert Bianchini]

Yes.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, yeah. So we. So Richard and I have done a candle collab that she's. Yeah, it's called Blossoming Camellia and Richard's so amazing because I was like, do you think we could do a collab and a small portion of the proceeds could go to these anti bullying charities? And he said, no, all of the proceeds. So all of the proceeds for Blossoming Camellia, Flamingo Estate Candle go to four different anti bullying organizations and that I, that I support and that are. Do incredible things for young people.

[Kelly Ripa]

Just go to the website.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, they'll make great holiday gifts. And there is a gorgeous, gorgeous scent. And then it's the two, the Tyler Clementi foundation and Hetrick Martin Institute in the US and then the Diana Ward in the UK and Project Rocket in Australia, which I've worked with, but is extra great because Richard's Australian.

[Kelly Ripa]

With the epidemic that is, or pandemic that is social media, because it's getting bigger and bigger and worse and worse and more and more people are connected to it as opposed to being connected to people. I feel that bullying now is something like I was, I've told these guys before when I was on the Soap, like in 1990, if you hated my character, you had to sit down with a pen and a piece of paper and you had to write me a letter and you had to buy a stamp. You'd put it in an envelope. You define the address of ABC Studios in New York and you had to.

[Monica Lewinsky]

In a phone book.

[Kelly Ripa]

In a phone book and you had to find me, you had to send that in the mail to tell me to fuck off. That's how you had to do it. Now a thousand people a day can just tell me to fuck off with their thumbs on various platforms. And 99.9% of the time I don't see it. Cause I don't go on social media very often because I find it all very depressing now. Like it gets depressing. What do you think the responsibility of these social media companies are? To control some of what is so like just an epidemic now online bullying. Like you were the first victim, but now everybody is a victim to online bullying.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I, first of all, I think that I believe Section 230, which kind of governs a lot of these social media companies that allows them to, to have bajillions of dollars, but they actually live under laws and rules of being a startup is I think that there are changes that, that need to happen there and I think there needs to be more responsibility in the same way that if I built a playground, it's my responsibility to make sure that the kids who come play on the playground are safe.

[Kelly Ripa]

Right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

We're using, using those things right now. A parent should be there making sure their kid is using the, the equipment safely. Right there there's. What kind of a kid is it? Do they have issues and they need to get help for those issues so they can behave better on the playground? There are all sorts of things. But I, I do think there's a responsibility and I think what has, what has become complicated is I'm now thinking my brain is going into places. But I think what's become complicated is that the way that they money is by an algorithm of outrage. And Tristan Harris has spoken very intelligently and articulately about all of this and there was. I'm going to get his name wrong, which is so embarrassing. Jaron.

[Kelly Ripa]

Jaron Lanier.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah. He was talking about that the biggest mistake we made with the Internet was going through an ad based model rather than subscription, like very reasonable subscription.

[Kelly Ripa]

Right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And so that has complicated things. Yeah. So I, I think we all have a responsibility first of all. And it's also reminded me as we're talking about this that this has been an issue you've been supportive of because one of the years I did a PSA campaign and you very generously gave your time to help us create a PSA around helping people take the sting out of the names that they're called. And so I appreciated that, Kelly. It was really helpful.

[Kelly Ripa]

Before we go, let me ask you this question. It's just. And I'm sure you've been asked this a million times, but let's say you are Monica Lewinsky and you're 24 years old in the year 2025, and same. Everything happens the same. How do you think this scandal unfolds? How do you think the situation unfolds?

[Monica Lewinsky]

I think that it's. In some ways it's. It is a lot better for the me person. And in some ways it's worse. Right. So I think the better the accountability.

[Kelly Ripa]

Would be placed in on the right person.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I would hope so. I think so. I sometimes wonder. I wonder if it were a young, charismatic Democratic president. I wonder if it has swung far enough into the category that we all think it would. I would hope so, but I'm not totally certain. I think just even the concept of abuse of power is something that we. Growing up, it was the only picture that in my mind of abuse of power was Nixon. That was it. Nixon in Watergate.

[Kelly Ripa]

I.

[Monica Lewinsky]

There was no other. Not even like in other industries. That was it, you know, and now.

[Kelly Ripa]

We know that there's abuses of power all the time happening all over the place in every industry.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Exactly. And so I think there's, you know, there's different language for things that we see happening.

[Kelly Ripa]

And.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And I think attention spans are a lot shorter. That actually would have stor. For a story to have legs for a year is like almost unheard of. So in nowadays. So I think in that way, where it would have been better now is also the upside of social media is there would have been a long trail of seeing who I was as a person.

[Kelly Ripa]

That's right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Now I happen to have a very weird sense of humor, so might have gotten in trouble for some of that. You know, I mean, I might have reposted on Instagram, you know, yesterday someone, you know, someone had made a thing about a great Halloween costume or that they had to come at work and they had to come dressed as a song and she had the name tag Eileen and maybe had white stuff all over her face. So like, I, you know, that's my. As I spit.

[Kelly Ripa]

That's a great costume.

[Monica Lewinsky]

That's actually, no, I didn't make the meme, but I sure fucking laughed out loud. And I, you know, right.

[Albert Bianchini]

There is gay sense of humor.

[Kelly Ripa]

Yeah, exactly. Albert, by the way, Albert is dressing up as that this year.

[Monica Lewinsky]

So I think that there are ways that also social media would have shown me, I would have been able to see the quiet support that I had that I didn't know existed that you didn't, you know, at the time. Yeah, so. And I think that would have made a really big difference. Yeah, I think that would have made a difference to not. To not feel like I was the most hated person in the world, you.

[Kelly Ripa]

Know, so it's almost inconceivable to me everything you've been through, but I am so glad that you are so resilient and that you have really. You've carried on with your head held high and you're doing such good work. You're a brilliant writer. You're an amazing podcast host. You're an amazing producer. I'm really proud of you. I'm super, super proud of you. Thank you for doing our podcast. We really appreciate it. Monica Lewinsky, everybody. Thank you so much.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Thanks, Kelly.

[Kelly Ripa]

Listeners, don't forget to download Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky wherever you get your podcasts. For God's sakes, do it now. Let's talk Off Camera with Kelly Ripa is a production of Malojo Productions. From Malojo, our team is Kelly Ripa, Marc Consuelos, Albert Bianchini, Jan Chalet, Seth Bronquist, Roz Therian, Devin Schneider, Michael Halperin, Julia Desch, and Team Radio Andy Lisa Mantineo, Scott Marlowe, Jake Getz.

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[Monica Lewinsky]

And Bubba Wallace.

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[Monica Lewinsky]

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[Monica Lewinsky]

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