Life Kit: How Caregivers Can Prevent Burnout

Episode Release Date: February 17, 2025
Host: Marielle Segarra

Introduction: The Growing Demand for Caregivers

Marielle Segarra opens the episode by highlighting the increasing number of unpaid caregivers in the United States, which surged from 43.5 million in 2015 to approximately 53 million in 2020. She introduces TK Dutes, a former healthcare provider with 15 years of experience supporting caregivers, who provides insights on how caregivers can prioritize their well-being. The episode features in-depth conversations with two caregivers, Jacqueline Revere and Treasure Empire, exploring their personal experiences, challenges, and strategies for preventing burnout.

Personal Journeys: Jacqueline Revere and Treasure Empire

Jacqueline Revere's Story
Jacqueline Revere shares her abrupt transition from a burgeoning career in late-night TV to becoming a full-time caregiver. In 2016, six months into her dream job, she received a distressing call about her mother's deteriorating health due to Alzheimer's disease. This unforeseen responsibility expanded as she also became the primary caregiver for her grandmother, plunging her into a demanding role at the age of 29.

Key Quote:
"Becoming a caregiver is a big transition. You go from taking care of yourself... to taking responsibility for the physical, emotional and financial well-being of another." ([04:16])

Treasure Empire's Experience
Treasure Empire, a multidisciplinary artist from the Bronx, recounts her sudden immersion into caregiving after her mother's mental health declined post-surgery. Managing the care of both her mother and grandmother, Treasure emphasizes the emotional, mental, and physical toll caregiving exacts, often leaving little room for personal life and leading to feelings of isolation and depression.

Key Quote:
"I was just kind of like dropped into the middle of caring for two people who I love... there is a huge emotional, mental and physical side of care that we just don't talk about that much." ([04:29])

Emotional Impact: Navigating Complex Feelings

Caregiving introduces a spectrum of intense emotions, including guilt, loss, shame, and resentment. Both Jacqueline and Treasure discuss the necessity of acknowledging and processing these feelings to maintain mental health.

Key Quote:
"I was very ashamed for a long time because I didn't know how to explain my role... but I had to learn. Like, no girl, like you're traumatized." ([08:46])

Marielle underscores that understanding and accepting these emotions is crucial, advising caregivers to be gentle with themselves and recognize that their efforts significantly impact those they care for.

Takeaway 1: Feel Your Feelings

Caregivers are encouraged to allow themselves to experience and process their emotions fully. Mourning the loss of personal plans and adjusting to new responsibilities is a vital step toward emotional resilience.

Key Quote:
"Guilt, loss, shame, and resentment are just a few of the feelings that caregivers have while learning to care for their loved ones. The only way through is to be gentle with yourself." ([09:07])

Takeaway 2: Establish Your Own Care Team

Building a robust support system is essential for caregivers to prevent burnout. Delegating specific tasks to friends, family, or professionals can alleviate the pressure and provide much-needed respite.

Key Quote:
"For someone that's entering into this world, I would suggest that you install a care team for whoever you're taking care of as well as a care team for you." ([10:09])

Jacqueline emphasizes the importance of identifying who can help and assigning them specific roles, such as tidying the house, preparing meals, or simply providing emotional support.

Takeaway 3: Navigate Workplace Support

Balancing caregiving responsibilities with professional life can be challenging. Caregivers are advised to have open conversations with their employers about their needs, explore flexible working arrangements, and understand their rights under laws like the Eligible Leave for Employee Caregiving Time Act.

Key Quote:
"Making sure company culture is aligned with your situation is important." ([13:26])

TK Dutes highlights the precarious nature of unpaid caregiving work, noting the lack of protections and the societal expectation to juggle multiple roles without adequate support.

Takeaway 4: Find Time for Yourself

Self-care is non-negotiable for caregivers. Engaging in activities that provide relaxation, joy, and personal fulfillment helps replenish emotional reserves and sustain long-term caregiving efforts.

Key Quote:
"You should not be trying to take care of anybody before yourself... there has to be time that is yours." ([15:22])

Practical strategies include setting aside quiet time in the mornings for meditation or journaling, scheduling short getaways, and making personal appointments to ensure self-care remains a priority.

Advocacy and Systemic Support

Both caregivers stress the importance of advocating for better support systems and policies that recognize and remunerate caregiving roles. Voting, petitioning, and participating in movements aimed at securing paid leave and social supports can drive meaningful change.

Key Quote:
"Learning about advocacy, learning movements that are happening to get family caregivers paid... is kind of a field where we need to advocate for what we need in order to get it." ([14:42])

Building Resilience and Community

Over time, caregivers develop resilience and adapt to their roles, though not without challenges. Building a community, whether online or through shared experiences with other caregivers, provides a vital support network.

Key Quote:
"Caregiving is about growth. The person you were when you started the journey is not the person you become." ([17:31])

Jacqueline's creation of the "Mom of My Mom" social media account exemplifies how sharing experiences can foster a sense of community and provide support to nearly 800,000 followers.

Final Takeaways: Embracing the Journey

Marielle recaps the key lessons from the episode, emphasizing the importance of emotional acknowledgment, building support systems, leveraging workplace policies, and prioritizing self-care. Additionally, a bonus takeaway encourages caregivers to make meaningful memories, reinforcing the value of their relationships despite the challenges.

Key Quotes:

• "Takeaway number one: Feel your feelings and process them." ([19:12])
• "Take takeaway number two: Let people help you." ([19:23])
• "Takeaway number three: Learn all the ways your job can support your role as a caregiver." ([19:40])
• "Takeaway number four: Make time and space for yourself non-negotiable." ([20:02])
• "Bonus takeaway: Make memories." ([20:08])

Conclusion: The Transformative Power of Caregiving

The episode concludes by acknowledging the profound personal growth that caregiving fosters, despite its inherent difficulties. Jacqueline and Treasure reflect on the invaluable life lessons learned and the deepened appreciation for the senior community and human connections.

Key Quote:
"Treasure Empire: ... I can look past the monetary value of a human, which I think is what's most important." ([18:36])

Supporting Caregivers

Marielle encourages listeners to support the caregivers in their lives by being proactive, understanding, and offering tangible assistance. By implementing the strategies discussed, caregivers can navigate their roles more sustainably and prevent burnout.

Produced by Sylvie Douglas. For more episodes on resilience and career transitions, visit npr.org/lifekit. Subscribe to the Life Kit newsletter at npr.org/lifekitnewsletter.