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Brad Smith (6:02)

That President Trump has issued an executive order seeking to block all federal funding to npr.

Diana Nucera (6:07)

This is the latest in a series.

Brad Smith (6:09)

Of threats to media organizations across the country. NPR remains committed to serving the public.

Diana Nucera (6:16)

And in this pivotal moment, we need your support.

Brad Smith (6:19)

Donate today at@.donate.npr.org thank you.

Diana Nucera (6:25)

If I'm walking down the street wearing my big, soft headphones singing along to my favorite music, I sound incredible. But if I don't have Tom Petty or Michael Stipe beaming into my ears, my skill diminishes quickly. My pitch is off, my voice breaks. And I don't aspire to sing well, necessarily. I just want to not humiliate myself. So before I karaoke in front of a room full of strangers, I need to dip my toe in somewhere safe, somewhere familiar, somewhere I can trust that if I falter, it'll be okay.

Jenny Lee (7:02)

Testing. All right, everybody sing along. It's like all of a sudden, you're on. You know, that can be scary, but you get to build like, it's like a trust fall through voice.

Diana Nucera (7:20)

Yes. A vocal trust fall. I like that. I want that. There's a place in southwest Detroit. It's best at dusk in late summer when rows of bright yellow sunflowers stand taller than people.

Jenny Lee (7:42)

Shine bright like a diamond. Shine bright like a diamond.

Diana Nucera (7:50)

The above ground pool is filled with clean, warm water. The fire pit is roaring with flames, and the picnic table is overflowing with dates and hummus and crackers and bottles of wine. This, dear listener, is the K Hole. K as in karaoke, not K Hole. Like a ketamine trip, the K Hole.

Jenny Lee (8:10)

Has a sand day. Now is the time.

Syra Dardis (8:14)

Now is the power. Now is the time.

Diana Nucera (8:17)

You're listening to the K Hole co founders get revved up for another night of karaoke. They are Detroiters Jenny Lee, Syra Dardis and Diana Nucera, friends of mine. Full disclosure, Diana was the one who called karaoke a vocal trust fall. Her backyard is invite only. And when the weather is good like it is tonight, the K Hole convenes here about once a month. If you're like me, you might be intimidated in the presence of these pros and their rotating crew of karaoke loving friends. But I think coming out of your karaoke shell at a place like this, private, surrounded by friends, is a great place to start. And with small private gatherings like this, you can get a lot of reps in on the microphone as opposed to a big karaoke bar where you might just get one shot to sing. No matter who you are or where you decide to karaoke, Jenny and Cyra have a takeaway for you. Our first takeaway. There is a place for you at.

Syra Dardis (9:22)

Karaoke, knowing if you're like not quote unquote, good singer, like, you don't have a good voice or you haven't Been in choirs your whole life or whatever. Just knowing that there's a role for you in the karaoke ecosystem. Right. So, like, you can get you getting up there and, like, doing a song not very well. Like, awkwardly missing the lyrics. All of that actually, like, makes other people feel comfortable to, like, then get up and do it. And then them getting up is just, like, adding, like, fuel to the fire. That's gonna then be the beautiful bonfire that is the karaoke experience. So don't be afraid to do that. It's an important part.

Abigail Bankson (10:06)

Yeah, and I think, like, you'll start, like, I don't. I mean, I know that some people are not trained in music, and maybe our voices are very different or whatever. But even if you're gonna, like, kind of talk single, like, it's a good time to see someone doing that, because it. It does break the mold, and it invites other people in to be like, oh, wow, I never thought about doing that. Like, that kind of singing here, you know?

Diana Nucera (10:30)

Yeah. I like talk singing as a way in. You know, a song like Walk on the wild side or something like that. A hustle here and a hustle there. New York City is the place where they said, hey, babe, take a walk on the wilds. So Takeaway two. You can find a song that fits your unique range and ability. It just might take some light research and practice before you take the stage.

Syra Dardis (10:53)

I mean, I feel like it's just first noticing, like, what are the songs that really hit you? And just being like, oh, yeah, that song. What would it be like to sing that? So, like, just, like, paying attention to the music that you're surrounded by, and that, like, is meaningful to you from different areas of your life so that you can know, like, what it is you want to sing.

Diana Nucera (11:14)

So take note of the songs that resonate and keep a list. Think about the songs that if they come on the radio, you automatically turn it up and know every word. Think about the songs you were obsessed with in middle school and high school, the songs you always belt out in the car. Add these to your list. I've started one in my phone's notes app, and then from there, start practicing those songs in the car, in the shower.

Syra Dardis (11:39)

Like, you have to know the lyrics.

Diana Nucera (11:41)

You mean know them? Like, be able to read them?

Syra Dardis (11:43)

No, no, no.

Diana Nucera (11:44)

You're saying you have to have them memorized.

Syra Dardis (11:45)

You need to.

Diana Nucera (11:46)

Sandy, that's a. That's a tall order.

Syra Dardis (11:47)

No, you need to know the song well enough that the word. Seeing the words cues it in your mind where you're like, you need to know the melody. You need to know the melody.

Diana Nucera (11:55)

The melody is technically just the pitch and rhythm of the notes coming together. For our purposes, the melody is the most recognizable part of the song. So when you sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, that's the melody.

Syra Dardis (12:08)

You don't have to have it memorized, but you need to know how the words that you're reading on the screen fit into the song so that it can flow. Because once you. Once you mess up the words and, like, then you stumble, it kind of like, it can crumble from there. We're like, I don't know it. And then you kind of, like, lose your confidence.

Diana Nucera (12:25)

Is there a way to get your confidence back mid song? Yeah.

Syra Dardis (12:28)

Oh, yeah. Once you, like, sync back up with the melody and the lyrics.

Diana Nucera (12:36)

As for what song is in your range, there's flexibility here on your list. You can have songs where you know you'll be able to roughly hit the notes every time. But you also don't have to forego singing a song you really love just because there are super high notes or it requires belting. Here's Diana.

Jenny Lee (12:52)

Like, visually, someone could be a really good performer but have, like, not a great voice and that. But they are, like, their conviction is, like, there, and they're, like, singing to you with their body. Someone could have an amazing voice, and that could be like, holy crap. Like, wow, we just witnessed that. But for me, I love it when you could tell someone loves that song.

Diana Nucera (13:17)

This is very important. Takeaway 3. Embody your love of the song in your performance. Clench your fist and pump it. Shake your hips, close your eyes. Let the music literally move you. Become the RB star you always dreamt of becoming. Like, Cyra is here. Doing that is more important than nailing the technical performance.

Jenny Lee (13:49)

I think to me, like, just love that song so much and, like, they're feeling or figuring something out when they sing it. To me, that makes a beautiful performance.

Diana Nucera (14:01)

Karaoke is a chance to channel that singer you love. You get to be a pop star for a few minutes. So give pop star during your performance. Diana is a ringer. She's so good she puts out records as Mother Cyborg and credits karaoke with helping her find her voice.

Jenny Lee (14:18)

I started recording and in a band because I was karaoke. I found my voice through karaoke.

Diana Nucera (14:25)

Takeaway number four. Warm up. Before she sings, Diana loosens up her vocal cords with a breathing exercise, which we can and should do too.

Jenny Lee (14:36)

The hee haw he ha he haw he haw. Hey, I'm just Learning this.

Diana Nucera (14:45)

So how do we teach us how to do that? What do we do?

Jenny Lee (14:48)

So you say he, and you just kind of give it all your might like. Yeah. And then you do. And that's the way that you engage your diaphragm.

Diana Nucera (15:04)

Singing from your diaphragm is something people are always talking about. It seems important. I don't know what the diaphragm is.

Jenny Lee (15:09)

That's what pushes the breath through your lungs, and that's how you control your breath. And stuff like that is with your diaphragm. So when you do the hee haw, you learn how to feel it so that you can engage it when you're singing.

Diana Nucera (15:24)

So do your Hee haws. You can make a siren noise with your lips like this. You can try an exercise where you inhale for four counts, then exhale on a hiss for eight to twelve counts. Vocal exercises like these can build up your singing muscles and help you hold notes for longer. And yet another byproduct of these warmups, they help you activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which will help ground you, easing those pre karaoke jitters. The last warmup Diana teaches me is something she calls loose lips. Yeah.

Jenny Lee (16:05)

And that just loosens your face up. And the looser your face is, the more you're just, like, using your lips to make the shapes to have the sounds he. Loose lips. Exactly. If you remember one thing tonight, folks, it's the Hee Haw. Loose lips.

Diana Nucera (16:24)

I've done a fair amount of singing at private karaoke parties, but very little out in the world in front of strangers. But I want to try it. I'm not confident in my singing voice, though. Nor do I think I can sell my performance with cool, evocative moves like the K holers prescribe. So I'm going to take some time. I'm going to pay attention to the songs ringing around in my head and rehearse in the shower. And I'm gonna work on my breathing techniques. But I could also use a pep talk. And I know the perfect person. Abigail Bankson. She brings us takeaway 5. Karaoke is a way to get free and to build power. And then as far as, like, what you do, what do you say?

Sean Bankson (17:15)

I usually say I'm a singer, a composer, and a singer.

Diana Nucera (17:18)

Okay. I was thinking song priestess, but that's.

Sean Bankson (17:24)

I.

Zach Rosen (17:24)

That's.

Sean Bankson (17:25)

I don't know if I can claim that for myself, but if you want to call me that, I'll be honored.

Diana Nucera (17:31)

Abigail and her partner Sean make up the Banksons, a musical duo that puts out albums and musicals. They just finished up a run as the house band of the Broadway show All in. You might have seen their raw, gorgeous stuff on Instagram, like this one from early in the Pandemic.

Sean Bankson (17:48)

I am Abigail and this is Sean. And we're so glad that you turned this on and welcomed us into your home. And you are welcome into our home. We're in Dayton, Ohio.

Diana Nucera (18:05)

I think we have the tendency to be the devils on our own shoulders, telling ourselves we can't do it. But Abigail is here to tell us we can, and it's going to be amazing.

Sean Bankson (18:15)

We have a vocabulary growing about.

Diana Nucera (18:19)

Body.

Sean Bankson (18:19)

Positivity, body acceptance, body love. And we don't have a vocabulary around voice acceptance, voice positivity, voice, vocal love. Even though that is so often the way we meet. The world is through our voices. And your voice is from your family. It's cultural. But I also have a feeling that everyone's voice is like a fingerprint. Like it's something truly, completely your own when you allow it to be. And I'm not very interested in an excellent singing voice. Just in the same way that I don't think there's such a thing as an excellent body. I think that there are more or less liberated bodies. More or less liberated voices.

Diana Nucera (19:09)

What Abigail looks for in a singer is someone who's willing to be brave enough to get free on stage.

Sean Bankson (19:15)

When they get free, I get free. Being vulnerable like that is a gift. You're modeling vulnerability. You're modeling courage. What an incredible thing. No matter what happens next, we will.

Diana Nucera (19:25)

Be together tonight for the Keep going.

Sean Bankson (19:30)

Keep going, Keep going on Keep going on song.

Diana Nucera (19:36)

This is a keep going, keep.

Abigail Bankson (19:39)

Yeah, I think it's also an exercise in building power in yourself.

Diana Nucera (19:44)

K Holler Saige Dardis.

Abigail Bankson (19:46)

Like, for me, that's why I started doing karaoke, because I was like, I need to exercise power and I need to find it in myself and figure out how to tap into it. And it is like a wielding of Goofy wielding of power moment.

Diana Nucera (20:02)

Now is the time. Now is the hour. Now is the time for K hole power. Now is the time. My family and I moved to Amsterdam last year, and on a recent Thursday night, I set off for a popular tourist district in the center of the city. When you're en route to your performance like I am, you might consider building your own pre show routine. Have your song list ready. Run through the songs you think you might sing. Do some of your vocal warm ups. Take away six. Create your own pre show ritual. Okay, I am on My bike on the way to the karaoke bar. Oh, God. Oh, gosh. Okay, just do your voice warm ups, buddy. I'm headed to Coco's Outback, a cavernous Australian themed sports bar that's known to have a Rockin weekly karaoke night. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Congo's Outback. It's still a great idea. So we're gonna sing some songs tonight.

Boris Nolens (21:04)

I'm Boris Nolens. I live in Amsterdam. I'm 24 years old. I've been doing the MCing for about a year now.

Diana Nucera (21:11)

What advice would you give people who haven't sung before who are about to sing in front of a group of people?

Boris Nolens (21:18)

If you're with a group, peer pressure 100% helps.

Diana Nucera (21:21)

Yeah.

Boris Nolens (21:21)

And after that. Yeah. Just try to find a song that people like, a song that other people will also sing along with so you're not standing in front of a crowd that's quiet, listening, looking.

Diana Nucera (21:32)

Don't pick an obscure song.

Boris Nolens (21:33)

Exactly. Pick something easy, something that everyone knows mainstream, and then just go for it.

Sean Bankson (21:38)

So if you're gotten up there, you've chosen your Aerosmith song or your Billie Eilish song and you are ready to go.

Diana Nucera (21:49)

Song priestess Abigail Bankson.

Sean Bankson (21:51)

Once again, I would say, take a deep breath, feel your feet on the ground. Don't worry about what it's going to look like or sound like. Think about how it's going to feel. I'd say, ask yourself what's going to happen and then tell the truth, which is I don't know. And then, man, life is too long and too short. Grab a little bit of joy where you can take pleasure. Excellence is not that interesting.

Diana Nucera (22:34)

People half my age slowly emerge on the dance floor. They're singing and dancing to songs I've never heard. Boris, the MC asks me what song I'm gonna do. After more than a week of internal debate, I tell him, you can call me Al. What is it? You Can Call Me Al by Paul Simon. You're not gonna do something mainstream? He says, well, it was really popular in the 80s. I tell him. He eyes me with suspicion and pity and he tells me I should take a shot. He brings me a Jaeger Bomb. That's a shot of Jagermeister dropped inside a Red Bull. I've never had Jagermeister. I've never had Red Bull. But I down it with him because I feel it would be rude to turn it away. I want to clarify, you don't have to drink to enjoy karaoke. Lots of my friends who are sober love Karaoke. And not for nothing, life Kit has some solid episodes about understanding the risks of alcohol. Boris says I have about 15 minutes till he'll call me to the stage. Then I remember something Saira and Jenny from the K Hole advised me to do. They said, before you go up, go to the bathroom, put in your earbuds and do some last second rehearsing down low. Practice one last time. So that's what I do in the privacy of the bathroom. And also one last hee haw in the bathroom. Gonna do my vocal warm ups one last time. He haw hee haw. I'm relieved when the very young people recognize the song. See, Boris, it is mainstream. I start bobbing my head, shaking my hips. I nail the first few words. Then I lose track of where I am. Oh God, this is not going as planned. Then a drunk guy, probably 25 years old, tops, jumps up on stage and puts his arm around me. So I hand him the mic. And then I remember Diana and Jenny's wise words. Is there a way to get your confidence back mid song? Yeah.

Syra Dardis (24:48)

Oh yeah. Once you, like, sync back up with the melody and the lyrics.

Jenny Lee (24:53)

Like when a record skips, just put it back on the groove.

Diana Nucera (25:04)

I find my footing, kind of. But I realize no one cares how well I'm singing. They care that I am singing. That I'm up there awkwardly but finding some fun in the midst of it. I survived the performance. I'm not being self deprecating when I say I sucked, but after getting over my nerves, I genuinely had a great time singing and stumbling in front of strangers. And I feel far less fear and more audacious because of it. Thanks. Karaoke. Before I let you go practicing your next song, let's recap. Takeaway number one. No matter who you are, there is a place for you at karaoke. Takeaway number two. You can find a song that fits your unique range and ability. You just need to seek it out and pay attention to songs that move you. Takeaway number three. If you outwardly love the song you're performing, the audience will too. Takeaway number four. Warm up your voice before you sing. Takeaway number five. Karaoke isn't just about singing. It's about making yourself vulnerable, singing yourself free and realizing your power.

Sean Bankson (26:22)

And when someone else has the courage and vulnerability to unlock their own freedom in front of others, that part of us, no matter how buried, can't help but rise up and run towards the walls we've built and knock them down if they can.

Diana Nucera (26:43)

Takeaway number six. Make your own pre show ritual which will give you confidence and clarity heading into your performance. Since my you can call me al moment at Coco's, I've karaoke two more times. I rented a private room with my wife and our friends. The stakes were a lot lower. The energy was much higher. The vibes were fantastic. Everybody love, laugh. Everybody look right everywhere you look I'm standing in the spotlight. Not yet. That thing I said earlier about paying attention to the songs you loved in middle school, that has really been true for me lately. Choose your song, choose your stage. Get free. Have fun. That is karaoke.

Zach Rosen (27:46)

Woo. That was reporter and host of the Best Advice Show, Zack Rosen. For more Life Kit, check out our other episodes. We've got one on how to find your singing voice and another on overcoming nerves when you're speaking in public. You can find those@npr.org LifeKit and if you love Life Kit and want even more, subscribe to our newsletter@npr.org LifeKitnewsletter Also, we love hearing from you, so if you have episode ideas or feedback you want to share or you want to tell us your favorite karaoke song, email us@lifekitpr.org this episode of Life Kit was produced by Margaret Serino. Our Visuals editor is Beck Harlan and our Digital editor is Malika Gharib. Megan Cain is our Supervising editor and Beth Donovan is our Executive producer. Our production team also includes Andy Taegle, Claire Marie Schneider, Sam Yellowhorse, Kessler and Sylvie Douglas. Engineering support comes from Zoe Vangenhoven. Special thanks to Johannes Durgi. I'm Mariel Segarra. Thanks for listening.

Brad Smith (29:04)

This message comes from Thrive Market. The food industry is a multi billion dollar industry, but not everything on the shelf is made with your health in mind. At Thrive Market, they go beyond the standards, curating the highest quality products for you and your family while focusing on organic first and restricting more than 1,000 harmful ingredients, all shipped to your door. Shop at a grocery store that actually cares for your health@thrivemarket.com podcast for 30% off your first order plus a $60 free gift. This message comes from Carvana. Carvana makes car selling easy. Just put in your license plate or VIN and get a real offer in seconds. Whether selling now or whenever feels right. Sell with Carvana.

Mariel Segarra (29:47)

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