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- [00:01]
Announcer
This message comes from Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. With nearly 2,000 clinical trials underway, the next cancer breakthrough is just around the corner. Make your triple matched gift@msk.org holidaymatch.
- [00:15]
Marielle Segarra
Hey, it's Marielle. Before we start the show today, I want to talk about public media. Public media is made for you. It serves you with programs meant to enrich your understanding and your life. From its founding in the US Public media was also meant to tell stories from underrepresented communities and to provide cultural insight that expands your perspective. We still believe in these core commitments of public media at npr, but as of this fall, federal funding for public media, including NPR and local NPR stations, has been eliminated. As we move forward, we're counting on your support so we can keep bringing you episodes of shows like Life Kit, let's Do this Together. If you're an NPR supporter, thank you. We are so grateful. And if not, you can join the PLUS community, get a bunch of perks like bonus episodes and more from across NPR's podcasts, and support public media by signing up for NPR today at plus.NPR.org. You're listening to Life Kit from npr. Hey, it's Marielle. One summer in college, I decided to cut my long hair short. I went to a cheap, but not that cheap salon, and partway through the haircut, the stylist got on her phone and started yapping. The rest of the time she's holding the phone between her shoulder and her ear, having this loud conversation while she cuts, just snip, snip, snip, totally distracted. I was afraid to say anything. And at the end, oh, it looked so bad. It was shorter than I wanted, more boyish looking. I just didn't feel like myself. And it changed how I felt looking in the mirror for months after. A lot of us have these stories. Em Areta is a hairstylist and barber in Providence, Rhode island, and works with people who have a masculine of center presentation.
- [02:12]
Em Areta
Hair can really be a huge factor for how one feels about their presentation. It's a big deal, in my opinion.
- [02:21]
Marielle Segarra
And if you got botched, you might be afraid to get your haircut ever again. The flip side, though, is if you've had an amazing haircut, one that made you feel like yourself, that made you feel sexy or confident or regal or rugged, whatever it is you were seeking, when it goes right, it can go so wrong, Right? Alicia Luciano is a hair stylist and founder of a salon in New York City called the Way Finding a hair.
- [02:46]
Alicia Luciano
Stylist that you really feel like you can trust is like the biggest gateway to, like, having the most amazing beauty experiences.
- [02:55]
Marielle Segarra
And when you do find the right stylist, the one who's willing to take time to listen to you, to ask you smart questions and be honest with you, they can help you figure out what it is that you're actually seeking in this cut. Like, maybe you have long hair and you walk into the salon thinking you want to make a dramatic change and cut it short, but maybe you actually don't.
- [03:14]
Alicia Luciano
I have seen time and time again people be like, this is what I want. And we end up doing like, I don't know, take like 2 or 3 inches off their hair and they're like, yes, this is exactly what I wanted. And it's like, they didn't come to me for a pixie cut. They came to me for my discretion.
- [03:30]
Marielle Segarra
On this episode of Life Kit, how to get a haircut that you love. We'll talk about what to look for in a stylist, how to know what you want and communicate that, and what kinds of questions you and your stylist should be asking before they start cutting.
- [03:47]
Announcer
This message comes from Apple Card. Apple Card members can earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases wherever they shop. This means you could be earning daily cash on just about anything, like a slice of pizza or a latte from the corner coffee shop. Apply for Apple Card in the Wallet app to see your credit limit offer in minutes. Subject to credit approval. Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City branch terms and more@applecard.com this message comes from Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. At Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer center, they know that a cancer diagnosis touches more than one life. It touches entire families. Make a gift to MSK in honor or in memory of someone you love. Your donation fuels groundbreaking research and compassionate care for patients and their families all over the world. Honor their legacy. Give hope to others. Your impact can be doubled. For a limited time. Donate now@msk.org honor2x this message comes from Whole Foods Market. Build the perfect holiday meal at Whole Foods Market. From traditional holiday must haves to creative twists, everything must pass their strict ingredient standards grab sales on their impressive centerpiece mains with no antibiotics. Ever aim to please with limited time desserts like chocolate, bourbon, pecan pie and ring in 2026 with sales on quality seafood. Shop for your celebration at Whole Foods Market. With so many ways to save, terms apply. This message comes from NPR sponsor Shopify. Start selling with Shopify today. Whether you're a garage Entrepreneur or IPO ready, Shopify is the only tool you need to start, run and grow your business without the struggle. Go to shopify.com npr.
- [05:33]
Marielle Segarra
So you're looking for a hairstylist. If you were in search of another professional, say a lawyer, an accountant, a contractor, a house cleaner, a tutor, you'd probably start by asking around, see if your friends had suggestions. That's a good starting point with hair too, because you know what your friend's hair looks like. You know, if you like what you see, you can also find people online. And then takeaway one is to do your research. Look at the stylist's website and Instagram or Facebook page. Browse through photos. Do you like the way their haircuts look? Do they cut hair that's similar to yours in texture? Do they do a lot of the styles you're interested in? If they work at a salon with other stylists, make sure you're seeing the work of the person you're actually considering going to. Liza Gottlieb is a hairstylist and salon owner in Toronto. She says we should pay attention to the timing of any reviews that we read.
- [06:27]
Liza Gottlieb
If the review is right after the haircut, like, sure, I mean, it's beautiful, it's amazing, and they probably had a great experience, I would also take that into account. But if somebody says in a review that this haircut grew out perfectly, it grew out seamlessly, I would take that seriously.
- [06:50]
Marielle Segarra
Now, if you happen to know there's a haircutting technique that you like or don't like, you can call or email the salon and ask questions.
- [06:57]
Liza Gottlieb
For instance, if you've gotten a few haircuts that were dry cut and felt like they were inconsistent and didn't grow out, well, I would just say, do you cut hair dry or do you cut hair wet?
- [07:11]
Marielle Segarra
Or you might ask something like, do you use a scissor or a razor to cut hair? Do you use a thinning shear? If you don't know what these things mean, that is totally fine. This is just a nice to have at your first appointment. Alicia says one green flag to look for is a feeling of comfort. Like, I could be honest with this person.
- [07:31]
Alicia Luciano
Do you feel warm, like, oh my gosh, we've been friends forever? Or, you know, does it feel like the things you're sharing with them, they're actually listening?
- [07:43]
Marielle Segarra
Also, are they taking time to consult with you before they start cutting? Do they ask specific questions?
- [07:49]
Liza Gottlieb
How short do you want the bangs to be?
- [07:50]
Marielle Segarra
Do you want them on the eyebrow.
- [07:52]
Liza Gottlieb
Or below the eyebrow or just above the eyebrow? Eyebrow below.
- [07:55]
Em Areta
You want it, like, fill on your neck but not on your shoulders?
- [07:57]
Liza Gottlieb
Definitely. Do you have any pictures?
- [07:59]
Em Areta
What do you like about your hair?
- [08:00]
Marielle Segarra
It's gonna be shorter in the front, longer in the back. You're okay with that?
- [08:03]
Em Areta
You wanted, like, a little taper a little bit?
- [08:05]
Announcer
Yeah.
- [08:05]
Liza Gottlieb
How short do you want the detail to be, like in the sideburn?
- [08:09]
Em Areta
Does this area bug you?
- [08:10]
Marielle Segarra
Do you want bangs or do you want face framing?
- [08:12]
Alicia Luciano
And how thick?
- [08:13]
Announcer
How are you feeling?
- [08:13]
Liza Gottlieb
Are you nervous?
- [08:15]
Marielle Segarra
Our Next Takeaway Takeaway 2 is to go beyond the inspiration photo. Get a really clear sense of what you want. You're gonna think about your intentions, why you're getting this haircut, what you're hoping to feel like after, and what looks you're most excited about.
- [08:30]
Alicia Luciano
A lot of the getting the haircut starts with a why. And so sometimes haircuts originate from a major life change. Sometimes they originate from, like, oh, my gosh, I haven't looked at myself in the mirror in, like, weeks. Like, what is going on with me? So sometimes it's purely just maintenance. So sometimes it's really important to slow down and ask ourselves, why are we looking for this particular moment? And then from there, we can have fun.
- [09:03]
Marielle Segarra
Start looking for photos online of haircuts you love, or if you have a friend whose hair you admire, ask if you can take a photo to show your stylist. And then Liza says, take the time to look at your reference photos closely and consider what. What do I like and what do I not like about each of these?
- [09:20]
Liza Gottlieb
Look at the bangs. Look at where the shortest piece of the layer is. Do you like that?
- [09:27]
Marielle Segarra
Em says your stylist can also help you understand what you're seeing in each photo.
- [09:31]
Em Areta
People will show me pictures of celebrities pretty often, and I'll be like, okay, I need you to understand that, like, this is someone who has, like, a stylist. Their hair may look like they just rolled out of bed, but I promise you, like, their hair is done, like, very meticulously.
- [09:49]
Marielle Segarra
It can also help to collect photos of haircuts you don't like at all and show those to your stylist as a guide for what not to do.
- [09:57]
Alicia Luciano
I think it's wonderful to identify where you are not interested in going, because, again, you're kind of setting up a boundary and you're conveying your truths to this new person that you're trying to build trust with.
- [10:11]
Marielle Segarra
And you can brainstorm some adjectives, words that describe the vibe you're going for. You might want to feel sexy or handsome, feminine or masculine, flirty, confident, playful. Maybe you want a haircut that's edgy or shaggy or bouncy.
- [10:28]
Em Areta
Really, like, any adjective is good. Or if it's like, you know, people will be like this, like, shaggy, like, 90s hunk hair haircut. I see a lot of people wanting and, like, I know what that means. I'll be like, oh, I want, like a, like a surfer look. Or I want, like, movement. Words like that, I think are helpful.
- [10:44]
Marielle Segarra
Now. These words don't mean the same thing to everyone. What looks feminine to me, for instance, might not read as feminine to you, but they can be a starting point. And if you don't know what you want or you're torn between different styles, that's okay, too. Your stylist can guide you.
- [10:59]
Liza Gottlieb
A stylist should be able to show you more pictures than what you have brought. Right? You can experiment in the consultation.
- [11:07]
Marielle Segarra
They should also have a sense of what kinds of haircuts might help you look your best. M, for instance, is always thinking about the shape of a person's face and how to balance their features.
- [11:17]
Em Areta
So if I'm like, okay, this person's got kind of a narrow forehead and, like, wide cheekbones. I need to build more weight up near their forehead so that they don't look like a triangle. Or like, if someone has like, a really, like, square jaw, I would be like, okay, let me, like, let me. Let me balance that with a softer haircut.
- [11:35]
Marielle Segarra
This brings me to takeaway. 3. Stay flexible and allow your hairdresser to guide you. You chose them for a reason, and they likely have more experience with haircuts than you do. When they offer you their professional opinion, really consider what they're saying. Alicia says, maybe you come in and you say, I want a bob. Okay, go for it. But do allow your stylist to suggest.
- [11:56]
Alicia Luciano
Some tweaks, because the bob in the photo might not be the bob for you, right? You want them to be like, actually, your face is really, you know, round, or, you know, you aren't going to blow dry your hair every day. You want them to still customize whatever they're creating for you.
- [12:13]
Marielle Segarra
Here are some questions that an experienced and thoughtful stylist might ask before they start cutting your hair. What's your lifestyle like?
- [12:20]
Alicia Luciano
How often do they wash their hair? How often do they style their hair? How much time do they spend on their hair each day? Like, in the morning when they're getting dressed?
- [12:30]
Marielle Segarra
How often do they get their hair cut? How much maintenance are they willing to do with this new cut.
- [12:35]
Alicia Luciano
Maintenance is really, really important because it can dictate how far you take the style. So you could say I'm really interested in and getting this bob, but the maintenance of blow drying it every day might be too much for me.
- [12:53]
Marielle Segarra
Your stylist should also ask questions like where do you part your hair? How short do you want your bangs? Where do you want your hair to sit on your body? This is a more helpful question than how many inches do you want to cut off? Because not everybody knows what an inch actually looks like. With that in mind, Liza says to make sure your stylist shows you visually where the cut is going to fall. Your jaw, your collarbone, your shoulder blades.
- [13:16]
Liza Gottlieb
Usually I go through a haircut and I show one of my clients like in your inspiration picture. This layer is extremely short. This is where it's going to lay in your haircut. Are you okay with that? And sometimes the answer is no.
- [13:31]
Marielle Segarra
Your stylist can also tell you, listen, that photo is AI or that woman is wearing extensions. It is not going to look like that on you.
- [13:38]
Liza Gottlieb
You should find a hairdresser that's honest with you.
- [13:40]
Marielle Segarra
Your hairstylist can also be an ally in your hardest moments. It's a cliche at this point. Go through a breakup, get a haircut. Go through a really bad breakup, get bangs. But there's truth to it. When our lives feel out of control or we feel stuck, that can send us to the hair salon to feel some sense of agency. And if we're experiencing hair loss, we're hoping our stylist has something up their sleeve to help us feel our best. More on that after the break.
- [14:11]
Announcer
This message comes from Apple Card. Apple Card members can earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases wherever they shop. This means you could be earning daily cash on just about anything, like a slice of pizza or a latte from the corner coffee shop. Apply for Apple Card in the Wallet app to see your credit limit offer in minutes. Subject to credit approval. Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch terms and more@applecard.com this message comes from NPR sponsor HBO Max presenting the Emmy Award winning Max Original series Hacks for your consideration, starring Gene Smart and Hannah Einbinder. The new season picks up with Deborah Vance's late night show finally in production and Ava Daniels stepping in as head writer. To Deborah's dismay, don't miss the series Slate says has never been better. Now streaming on HBO Max. This message comes from NPR sponsor Adobe introducing the all new Adobe Acrobat studio now with AI powered PDF spaces need to turn 100 pages of market research into five insights with the Click templates for a sales proposal that'll close that deal or an AI specialist to tailor the tone of your market report. You can do all that with the all new Adobe Acrobat Studio. Learn more@adobe.com do that with Acrobat.
- [15:33]
Marielle Segarra
All right, we're back with Life Kit and Takeaway 4. If you're going through a difficult time with your hair, be open with your stylist. They've probably seen this before and they can help. Alicia has several clients who've lost patches of hair because of stress.
- [15:47]
Alicia Luciano
So these might be people that their hair was their pride and joy and so to suddenly have this major change, first and foremost, I'm sending you to a physician. Whether it's your primary care doctor or it's a dermatologist, I'm going to do my best to help encourage you to go seek that help on a professional level. And then I can help navigate on the beauty level.
- [16:13]
Marielle Segarra
That might mean extensions or a different kind of haircut that covers your bald spot. I'm telling you, a curtain bang can do wonders. And if someone's about to go through medical treatment like chemotherapy and is expecting their hair to start falling out within a few weeks, Alicia will say, tell me all the haircuts you've ever wanted to try.
- [16:31]
Alicia Luciano
And from there, they might be a little stunned. Like, wait, what? You don't want to cut it all off? And I'm like, we can cut it 10 times over. Let's try to lighten the situation for you, and let's try to build confidence, even though everything else around you might be suggesting you should have the opposite.
- [16:49]
Marielle Segarra
I lost my hair when I did chemo for breast cancer last year. One thing I ran into as it started growing out again is that I wanted to keep my length as much as possible, but parts of my hair were uneven and I felt like I kept getting it cut shorter than I actually wanted. I've learned that if you tell your stylist the length is important to you, they can come up with a plan.
- [17:09]
Liza Gottlieb
The stylist can show you more of what you can do in order to really keep that length. Like, you don't. You don't necessarily have to take it off if you really, truly feel emotionally connected to that length. Like, I'm sure there are other things that we could do in order to keep it.
- [17:25]
Marielle Segarra
Liza says, remember, this is your body, not theirs. They might have a suggestion, but they should also be listening to you and not pushing you to do something that you don't want.
- [17:35]
Liza Gottlieb
Even, like, split ends, too. Like, who am I to tell you to cut them off if you really like them? Maybe in terms of like, me as a person, not even as a stylist, I would like to take off split ends rather than keep length. But the person in my chair might really just value the length over taking away split ends. So I think, like, finding a stylist that sees what you value and puts what you value over what they value.
- [18:05]
Marielle Segarra
That brings me to takeaway. 5. Speak up. If you notice that your stylist or barber is doing something that alarms you, like cutting off more hair than you expected or taking out a razor when you only like a scissor cut, say something in the moment. You may not know what this cut is supposed to look like when it's only partly done, but you still get to ask questions and confirm what's going on. If it looks like they're cutting off a lot of hair, you can say.
- [18:29]
Liza Gottlieb
Hey, looks like a lot of hair.
- [18:32]
Marielle Segarra
Or you see them taking out a buzzer, say, hey, what are you doing with that?
- [18:36]
Liza Gottlieb
You have to open your mouth. I know it's hard. I know it's really hard because somebody is touching you and is in control of your body at that moment, but you need to speak up.
- [18:49]
Marielle Segarra
Alicia says it's also okay to change your mind once the haircut has started.
- [18:53]
Alicia Luciano
If again, we're keeping it transparent and we're working together to build the trust. It's not going to hurt my feelings if someone's like, you know what? I think I changed my mind. Heck, yeah, tell me. Let's change our mind. Like, where are we going with this? So definitely say something. There's so oftentimes people don't say something, and then they go home and they're not feeling great.
- [19:15]
Marielle Segarra
You are also allowed to say something at the end of a haircut. I say that in that way because I don't actually feel allowed. When I get a haircut, I feel like I need to perform how great I think it is. I'm sitting there in the chair, and the stylist says, okay, all done. And no matter what, even if I don't like it, I go, wow, it looks great. I love it. Followed by a big smile. I am aware that this is not helping anybody. Em says if you know in the moment that you're not happy with the cut and you're able to articulate what you don't like, the stylist should be able to make adjustments.
- [19:49]
Em Areta
Like, I want my ears to be more exposed than this. Or like it's feeling like a little bit heavy, like in this area. Or like this is too long, you.
- [19:57]
Marielle Segarra
Know, or could you go shorter with the layers? Could you cut the bangs a little more? You might have this realization. Or finally build up the courage to say something. Once you get home, send that email.
- [20:08]
Alicia Luciano
Make that phone call, send that dm, Let that hairdresser know immediately. Because if you don't, you're not even giving them the opportunity to make you happy.
- [20:18]
Marielle Segarra
We just don't want to hurt Yalls feelings.
- [20:20]
Alicia Luciano
Hurt them hurt. That hurts our feelings way less than.
- [20:25]
Marielle Segarra
Not if we go again. Yeah, yeah.
- [20:27]
Alicia Luciano
Oh, my gosh. It literally is the original ghosting.
- [20:30]
Marielle Segarra
Liza does want to put an asterisk here. If you go to a stylist and you feel like they totally botched your.
- [20:36]
Liza Gottlieb
Haircut, if you are really extremely, extremely unhappy, very, very unhappy, the likelihood of the stylist being able to fix what they have done is really slim to none. That particular stylist, you know, if I went and got a haircut and I really like, I felt like it was so choppy. Usually, like, the stylist who does a choppy haircut is not going to be able to do a seamless haircut.
- [21:04]
Marielle Segarra
Now, that doesn't mean all hope is lost. Another stylist might be able to fix it. And as they say, hair grows back. Okay, time for a recap. Takeaway 1. If you're looking for a new hairstylist or barber, ask friends for recommendations and look online. As you browse photos, ask yourself, do I like the way these haircuts look? Do they cut hair that's similar to mine in texture? Do they have experience with the style I'm interested in? If you're looking at a salon website, make sure you're actually seeing the work of the stylist you're considering. Takeaway 2. Get a clear sense of what you want and why. Think about your intentions, what you're hoping to feel like. After the haircut. Gather photos to show your stylist of what you like and don't like. And also think about some adjectives that describe the look you're going for. Takeaway three, Stay flexible and allow your stylist to guide you. You chose them for a reason, so when they offer you their professional opinion, consider what they're saying. Takeaway 4. If you're going through a difficult time with your hair, be open with your stylist. They've probably seen this before and they can help come up with solutions. Speak up if you notice that your stylist or barber is doing something that alarms you, like cutting off more hair than you expected. Say something in the moment and if you don't like the cut, you're allowed to tell them and to ask for adjustments. Remember, this is your body and your hair, not theirs. And that's our show. Hey, you're a fan of Life Kit, right? Well, don't keep us a secret. Maybe tell a friend who you think might like us. Send them an episode. And thank you for helping spread the word about Life Kit. This episode of Life Kit was produced by Sylvie Douglas. Our visuals editor is Beck Harlan and our digital editor is Malika Garib. Megan Keane is our senior supervising editor and Beth Donovan is our executive producer. Our production team also includes Claire Marie Schneider, Lennon Sherburne, and Margaret Serino. Engineering support comes from Kwesi Lee. I'm Marielle Segarra.
- [23:07]
Liza Gottlieb
Thanks for listening.
- [23:21]
Announcer
This message comes from Capital One with the Venture X Card, Earn unlimited double miles, a $300 annual capital one travel credit, and access to airport lounges. Capital One what's in your wallet? Terms apply details@capitalone.com this message comes from.
- [23:38]
Marielle Segarra
Capital One Commercial Bank. Access comprehensive solutions from a top commercial bank that prioritizes your needs today and goals for Tomor. Learn more at CapitalOne.com Commercial Member FDIC.