Life Kit (NPR): "How to Set Resolutions You'll Actually Keep"

Host: Marielle Segarra
Guest: Gretchen Rubin (writer on happiness and habits)
Date: January 1, 2026

Episode Overview

Host Marielle Segarra and guest Gretchen Rubin dive into the perennial question of New Year's resolutions. In this episode, they discuss why many resolutions fail, how to set goals you’re more likely to actually keep, and alternative approaches to marking a new year. Gretchen brings her research and personal experience to the fore, helping listeners rethink goal-setting for 2026 and beyond.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Power and Pitfalls of Resolutions

• Most people abandon resolutions quickly. Marielle notes that even she can’t remember hers from last year, highlighting the common issue of resolutions fading away fast ([00:00-01:00]).

• Having goals is still valuable:
  “People who set aims for themselves, specific, manageable aims, are more likely to succeed...than people who do not do that.”
  — Gretchen Rubin ([01:07])

• “Fresh start” moments (New Year’s, birthdays, etc.) can help catalyze behavior change ([01:20]).

1. Be Specific About Your Goals

Timestamp: [03:30–05:11]

• Vague goals don’t work:
  “Let’s say you made a resolution to eat healthfully. That’s really pretty vague. ... But if you turned it into [a goal like], ‘I’m going to eat breakfast every morning’...those are concrete enough and specific enough that you can say, yes, I did it or no, I didn’t do it.” — Gretchen Rubin ([03:35])

• Takeaway: A good goal lets you clearly know, "Did I do it? Yes or no?" ([05:11]).

• Examples:

  • Not: "Get more exercise"
  • But: "Go rock climbing once a week and cycling twice a week."
  • Not: "Have more fun"
  • But: "Start a book group with friends" ([03:35–05:11])

2. Resolutions Need to Matter to You

Timestamp: [05:29–07:12]

• Avoid “shoulds” forced by others:
  “There’s no sense of commitment there…if you don’t want to do it, just admit to yourself that this is something that, for whatever reason…you’re not doing right now.” — Gretchen Rubin ([05:29])

• Dig into your ‘why’:
  “If you know why you’re doing something, it tends to help you stay with it.” ([06:46])

3. Find What Motivates and Works For You

Timestamp: [08:12–10:38]

• Try pairing a new habit with something you love:
  “You could say, I can only listen to my favorite podcast when I'm walking.” — Gretchen Rubin ([08:12])

• Accountability: Some need external pressure (friend, pet, class), while others thrive on variety or routine.

• Look back at past successes for clues:
  “Is there a time when I did keep this resolution that I want to keep in the future?” — Gretchen Rubin ([09:54])

• Focus on actions, not outcomes:
  “I can write a book, but I can’t write a bestseller…Set a goal where you know you can reach it, where you’re not just focused on an outcome that might be out of your control.” — Gretchen Rubin ([11:04])

• Better goal phrasing:
  “Practice the guitar three times a week and play one show this year.” ([11:36])

4. Revisit and Adjust Resolutions Throughout the Year

Timestamp: [12:30–15:45]

• Calendar of Catalysts: Use key dates—like July 2 (Halfway Day), February 28 (Determination Day), or personal anniversaries—to check in on progress.

  • “Determination Day...is the day you say, okay, I’m gonna stay determined. I’m gonna stay the course. And, you know, it’s not Discouragement Day, it’s Determination Day.” — Gretchen Rubin ([13:32])

• If you lose momentum:

  • Reflect—is it a logistical issue or not the right goal?
  • Try adjusting timing, lowering the bar, or changing your approach.
  • “The fact that you’re not keeping your resolution is valuable information. However you set it up is not working for you.” — Gretchen Rubin ([13:55])

5. Try Alternative Ways to Design Your Year

Timestamp: [16:24–19:03]

• Pick a word or phrase as a theme:

  • Example: “My sister...wanted the word ‘resilience’ but picked ‘bounce’ because it’s more whimsical.” ([16:24])
  • Gretchen’s own: “Neighbor...What is it to create a neighborhood?” ([17:19])

• The “26 in 26” list: 26 things to do in 2026, big or small, creative or practical.

  • “You can do it any way you want. ... Maybe you want to have 26 items, all of which, like, you incorporate the letter of the alphabet.” ([17:52])
  • Mix fun/easy and big goals.

• Choose what fits your life: “This is a choose your own adventure situation, and the choosing is about knowing who you are and what appeals to you.” — Marielle Segarra ([19:03])

Reflecting on Planning and Flexibility

Timestamp: [19:55–21:16]

• Life is unpredictable: “We cannot plan. Things come up all the time. The other one is, we really benefit from planning. Plans are really helpful.” — Gretchen Rubin ([20:13])

• Embrace both acceptance and ambition:
  “We want to accept ourselves and also expect more from ourselves. ... You want to accept yourself in the situation you’re in, but you also want to expect more from yourself.” ([20:13–21:16])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If you do say you’re going to do it, make a plan to do it. ... If you don’t want to do it, just admit to yourself that...you’re not doing right now.” — Gretchen Rubin ([05:29])
• “Practice the guitar three times a week and play one show this year.” ([11:36], example of a clear and achievable goal)
• “Determination Day...is not Discouragement Day, it’s Determination Day.” — Gretchen Rubin ([13:39])
• “This is a choose your own adventure situation, and the choosing is about knowing who you are and what appeals to you.” — Marielle Segarra ([19:03])
• “We want to accept ourselves and also expect more from ourselves. And both are true.” — Gretchen Rubin ([20:13])

Important Timestamps

• 01:07 – The benefit of specific, manageable aims (Gretchen Rubin)
• 03:35–05:11 – Making goals specific and achievable
• 05:29–07:12 – Why picking meaningful resolutions matters
• 08:12–10:38 – Strategies for building habits and staying motivated
• 11:04–11:48 – Goals based on actions, not outcomes
• 12:30–15:45 – Check-in dates and troubleshooting failed resolutions
• 16:24–19:03 – Year design alternatives: themes and lists
• 20:13–21:16 – Planning, adapting, and balancing self-acceptance with growth

Main Takeaways

1. Set specific, concrete resolutions. Make sure you can clearly say, “Did I do it, yes or no?”
2. Choose goals that matter to you, not what others say you ‘should’ do. Dig into your motivation.
3. Find the strategy that fits your personality. Use pairing, accountability, routine, or variety as works best for you.
4. Check in periodically and don’t be afraid to revise or abandon goals that don’t serve you.
5. Try creative alternatives, such as choosing a word for the year or making a “26 in 26” list. Only do what excites and inspires you.

Tone & Language

The conversation is warm, honest, and practical, inviting listeners to reflect on what truly matters to them and to approach resolutions—and themselves—with both structure and flexibility. The episode balances expert advice with personal anecdotes, making goal-setting feel like a personal, adaptable process rather than a rigid obligation.