Take a moment to reflect before the new year

Summary

Life Kit: Take a Moment to Reflect Before the New Year Episode Release Date: December 30, 2024
Host: Marielle Segarra

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Introduction: Embracing the Pause Between Holidays and New Year

In the episode "Take a Moment to Reflect Before the New Year," host Marielle Segarra addresses the often-overlooked period between Christmas and New Year's. She discusses the common feelings of gloom and the abrupt slowdown after the frenetic holiday season. Marielle emphasizes that this seemingly eerie week can be transformed into a golden opportunity for introspection and planning.

"This week, it doesn't have to feel so eerie. It can actually be a golden opportunity to get quiet and turn inward, to reflect on where you're at and where you're headed." — Marielle Segarra [00:24]

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Section 1: Shaking Loose the Past and Shaping the Future

Guest: Lama Rod Owens

Buddhist teacher Lama Rod Owens shares his philosophy on letting go of the past while actively shaping the future. He advocates for not just letting future events unfold but actively engaging in creating the future you desire.

"I want to shake loose the past and actually lean into the future, but I want to shake the future as well, not just let the future happen." — Lama Rod Owens [01:18]

Lama Rod introduces practical exercises to help listeners reflect on the past year and envision their future. His approach is rooted in mindfulness and intentionality, encouraging a balanced reflection that acknowledges both achievements and challenges.

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Section 2: The Importance of Sweet Alone Time

Guest: Nicole Jjes

Graphic novelist Nicole Jjes underscores the significance of spending quality time alone to foster self-awareness and personal growth. She introduces the concept of "sweet alone time" (SAT) as a way to reconnect with oneself amidst the hustle of holiday interactions.

"I mean, like, hello, hello you. How's it going?" — Kyle Norris [04:33]

Nicole recommends engaging in solitary activities such as walking, journaling, drawing, or meditating. These practices help individuals gain clarity and understand their true desires and emotions without the influence of others.

"Because for me, I'm so codependent that if other people are around me, I will have a hard time figuring out what I feel and what I want..." — Kyle Norris [05:15]

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Section 3: Reflective Drawing Exercises

Collaborators: Nicole Jjes & Kyle Norris

Nicole Jjes and Kyle Norris guide listeners through a creative exercise designed to reflect on the past year. This method involves drawing and writing in a structured format, allowing for a comprehensive review of personal experiences.

1. Did/Happened: List 10 significant events or actions from the past year.
2. Senses: Document 10 sensory experiences (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch).
3. Overheard: Note memorable phrases or conversations overheard.
4. Moment Drawing: Illustrate one impactful moment from the year, emphasizing presence and emotional connection.

"Let your art be wobbly." — Kyle Norris [10:11]

This exercise encourages creativity without self-criticism, fostering a deeper connection with one's experiences and emotions.

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Section 4: Informal Meditation for Gratitude and Letting Go

Guest: Lama Rod Owens

Lama Rod introduces a simple meditation practice that involves lighting a candle to symbolize light and positivity. This meditation focuses on gratitude for the year's blessings and acknowledges any grief or disappointments, providing a balanced emotional release.

"Just seeing it as like this cloud floating through the sky of your mind, right?" — Lama Rod Owens [14:29]

He suggests visualizing negative emotions as passing clouds or waves, facilitating the process of letting go. Additionally, Lama Rod describes a Buddhist practice of writing down burdens, burning the paper, and then dropping it into water as a symbolic act of release.

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Section 5: Dreaming and Visioning for the Future

Guest: Lama Rod Owens

Looking forward, Lama Rod emphasizes the power of dreaming big and creating a vision for the future. He advocates for vision boards as a tool to manifest aspirations and goals, despite any skepticism about their effectiveness.

"A vision board is really about calling energy, you know, of prosperity into our lives." — Lama Rod Owens [18:15]

Listeners are encouraged to collect images that represent their goals and place them on a vision board to keep their aspirations visible and tangible. This practice helps in clarifying desires and setting actionable intentions for the upcoming year.

"I think of dreaming kind of like time traveling." — Lama Rod Owens [15:20]

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Recap of Takeaways

1. Sweet Alone Time (SAT): Engage in solo activities like walking, journaling, or drawing to connect with yourself.
2. Reflective Drawing Exercise: Use structured drawing and writing to review the past year.
3. Informal Meditation: Practice gratitude and acknowledge grief through simple meditation techniques.
4. Bold Dreaming: Create vision boards to manifest and clarify your future aspirations.
5. Integrate SAT into Celebrations: Use these reflective practices to welcome the New Year with awareness and intention.

"There's something about being really still and quiet as the old year transitions. I just kind of want to meet the new year in as much awareness as possible." — Lama Rod Owens [20:10]

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Conclusion: Cultivating Presence and Intentionality

Marielle Segarra wraps up the episode by highlighting the importance of incorporating reflection and intentional practices into the transition to the New Year. By embracing solitude, creativity, meditation, and visionary planning, listeners can enter the new year with clarity and purpose.

"Remember, you can use these tools for being quiet and still any time of the year, whenever you need it. Happy New Year." — Nicole Jjes [20:24]

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Final Thoughts

"Take a Moment to Reflect Before the New Year" offers a comprehensive guide to turning a quiet post-holiday period into a meaningful time for personal growth and future planning. Through expert insights and practical exercises, Life Kit empowers listeners to navigate the transition into the new year with mindfulness and intentionality.

Transcript

[Catherine Marr]

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[Marielle Segarra]

You're listening to Life Kit from npr. Hey, everybody, it's Marielle. I don't know if y'all have ever felt this way, but a lot of the time between Christmas and New Year's, I get really gloomy. Life is so busy all the time. Too busy, really. And then during that week, it comes to a standstill, right? The merriment of the holidays with all the bright lights and the cooking and the crafts, that's basically over. Plus, you might be traveling, visiting relatives, sleeping in a bed that's not your own. It's like you're suspended in time, waiting for your normal life to start again in the new year with all the pressure and emotion that can bring. But this week, it doesn't have to feel so eerie. It can actually be a golden opportunity to get quiet and turn inward, to reflect on where you're at and where you're headed.

[Lama Rod Owens]

I want to shake loose the past and actually lean into the future, but I want to shake the future as well, not just let the future happen.

[Marielle Segarra]

That's the Buddhist teacher Lama Rod Owens on this episode of Life Kit, how to slow down and reflect ahead of the new year. Reporter Kyle Norris talked to lamarad and to an artist who makes graphic novels. And they'll all share ideas and exercises that you can use this week to transition.

[Catherine Marr]

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[Marielle Segarra]

Hey, quick question. How are your holidays? Did you have a good time? Maybe too good of a time? It's normal to have a couple extra drinks around the holidays, but maybe you're thinking it's time to take a break. Maybe you've woken up hungover or anxious or felt more irritable or sluggish lately. Whatever your reason for wanting to take a break from alcohol, it can be difficult to navigate life without it. It's everywhere, at work events and parties, funerals and weddings. We use it to celebrate and to mark all kinds of transitions. That's why Life Kit has created a special newsletter series to help you get through the month without alcohol. We'll cover everything from how to deal with uncomfortable questions like hey, why aren't you drinking? To some tasty alcohol, free drinks you can make at home. You can sign up for it by going to npr.org dryjanuary. You can also find the link in the description for this episode.

[Nicole Jjes]

It's the holidays and you're probably around some people. Family, friends, co workers, customers, even the folks buzzing around you as you're traveling. And it can be a lot. Artist Nicole Jjes wants to make sure amongst all these people, you get some alone time.

[Kyle Norris]

That kind of sweet, sweet alone time where you're actually just spending time with yourself. I mean, like, hello, hello you. How's it going?

[Nicole Jjes]

Nicole is a graphic novelist. She wrote a graphic novel memoir about a palm reader who revealed an old family secret. These days, Nicole teaches people about comics and graphic novels at California College of the Arts, and she brings us her first takeaway. Create some sweet alone time for yourself. Let's call that sat sweet alone time. Nicole says spend the week between Christmas and New Year's Eve engaged in your practice, if you have one. So that could be something artistic or something physical, as long as it's by yourself.

[Kyle Norris]

Because for me, I'm so codependent that if other people are around me, I will have a hard time figuring out what I feel and what I want because I will be trying to respond to the needs of the people around me. And so it's really important for me to take some time alone so whether that's a little walk by yourself, even like a 20 minute walk by yourself, whether that's journaling or just drawing by yourself for 20 minutes or an hour, or meditating, like those times where I'm away from people for a little bit, helps me kind of fill up my cup and figure out what I actually want.

[Nicole Jjes]

Nicole says, when you're deep in your sat, think about what you did accomplish this year.

[Kyle Norris]

And it doesn't have to be like, I started a Fortune 500 company, I birthed several children, I won a marathon. It can be like, I meditated three times a month. And that was pretty good for me. Or, you know, I got into nature, or whatever you did, that was like a small victory for you. Give yourself credit for what was really good about this year.

[Nicole Jjes]

What is the point of carving out some of this sweet alone time?

[Kyle Norris]

I mean, the point of it is to actually have a little spaciousness so that you can get new ideas. Getting other people's narratives out of your head so you have space for your own narrative and so you can check in with yourself and be present in your own life. Say, hey, I see what you did this year. Good job.

[Nicole Jjes]

Aw, why am I choking up? This is like, this is really darling, you know? What's that about?

[Kyle Norris]

You might need some sweet alone time.

[Nicole Jjes]

I guess I do. Dang. That's why I'm making this episode, to figure this out. You know, a classic way to spend some SAT is to journal. But let's take journaling to the next level and tap Nicole for her artistic expertise by doing an exercise to help you reflect on your past year. And this is takeaway number two. Get your thoughts down on paper out of the gate. If you are having some feelings about drawing or you think you're a bad drawer, or you don't even know how to draw, Nicole says drawing is part of the human experience and you get to do it without critique.

[Kyle Norris]

Like, I love walking. I go on a trail every day. I don't have somebody saying like, oh, you're not good enough at walking. Your form isn't correct. It doesn't matter if my form's correct. I enjoy walking. It's a physical activity I'm doing. You can draw. It's a place you get to make for yourself on the page.

[Nicole Jjes]

Here's the exercise to get you started. You're going to look back at the past year of your life, and Nicole wants you to know, for the record, she learned this exercise from famous graphic.

[Kyle Norris]

Novelist Linda Berry teaches this exercise in her classes and Now I bring it to you.

[Nicole Jjes]

Fun fact. If you want to go down a rabbit hole of cool drawing exercises, go to Linda Berry's YouTube page. She's actually got a warmup exercise you can do. She teaches you to draw a spiral while placing your focus in different parts of your body. Okay, back to this exercise. Go grab something to write with and find a piece of paper.

[Kyle Norris]

An actual piece of paper, a physical piece of paper. It's okay if it's like the back of a bill. Go look for your garbage. Whatever.

[Nicole Jjes]

Draw two lines to divide your paper into four big boxes, kind of like a window pane with four distinct squares. And make the top two panels a little bigger than the bottom two. We start at the top left box. You're gonna write did, happened. Then Write the numbers 1 through 10.

[Kyle Norris]

I'm gonna write down 10 things that I did or that happened.

[Nicole Jjes]

And time yourself for three to five minutes. For each of these boxes, Nicole says be specific and write down stuff that's big and small.

[Kyle Norris]

It could be things as small as I took a walk every day or I brushed my dog's teeth three times.

[Nicole Jjes]

Then move to the top right box where you'll list things you experienced with your senses. Write down these words.

[Kyle Norris]

Saw, heard, smelled, tasted, touched. What are some things you saw this year? Or smelled or tasted or touched heard 1 through 10.

[Nicole Jjes]

Nicole says part of being a good writer is becoming a good observer and listener.

[Kyle Norris]

Really listening for things as I'm out in the world and really noticing details out in the world. And the more I can notice details from my own life, the more present I am in my own life.

[Nicole Jjes]

Time yourself for three to five minutes on this box, then move to the bottom left. Write the word overheard in this baby box.

[Kyle Norris]

You can write something that you overheard or something somebody said that really stuck out to you in 2024. And then in the bottom right hand corner, I want you to just draw one moment from 2024, and I want you to be in it. And I want your full body to be in it.

[Nicole Jjes]

And don't stress your artistic talent and worry about what your drawings look like.

[Kyle Norris]

It's not going to help them come out. If a baby deer was born and it was wobbly on its legs, it's not going to help it for people to yell at it and say, boo, boo. Not good enough. That's not helpful. Let it be wobbly. Let your art be wobbly.

[Nicole Jjes]

I love the sentence, let your art be wobbly. Absolutely. Something I would maybe tattoo on my body. If you're struggling when it comes to drawing yourself. Remember, your drawings can look like anything.

[Kyle Norris]

You can draw a cloud with a face. You can draw a triangle with arms and legs. You could draw a little ball with cat ears on it and little stick arms and legs, give it a face, call it yourself.

[Nicole Jjes]

I asked Nicole why she wants us to do this exercise.

[Kyle Norris]

My hope in this is that people get a moment of reflection and presence and in their life. Give yourself credit for what happened this year, what you did well, and then just give yourself a couple small actionable things that might be a gift to yourself.

[Nicole Jjes]

She says a gift could be some scheduled sat, that sweet alone time, or doing something you love. For her, a gift is going on a nature walk and not wearing headphones.

[Kyle Norris]

Don't give yourself a chore. Don't give yourself harassment. What's that gift gonna be?

[Nicole Jjes]

That drawing exercise helped us review the past year. And you can use your observations for takeaway number three, which is to do a laid back meditation and take stock of the year and let it go. This takeaway comes from Llama Rod Owens. Llama Rod's website calls him a black Buddhist Southern queen, and the title llama means teacher in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition in which he is ordained. For takeaway number three, Lama Rod shares his version of Sat. He says, set aside a little bit of time this week. We're talking five or 10 minutes for what he calls an informal ceremony. Lama Rod says you can do this at home in a quiet place in the evening and light a candle. He says he loves the energy of candlelight.

[Lama Rod Owens]

Something natural, something elemental in the space that reminds me of, I would say, my natural self and the natural world, right? Getting that candle. And just as you light the candle, just thinking about that, this candle literally represents the light in the world. And no matter how much we're struggling to be well and, and content or happy or just how much we're struggling to survive in general, like, there's still light.

[Nicole Jjes]

Lama Rod says the candlelight represents joy and belonging and gratitude, which he says, you can focus on starting the time.

[Lama Rod Owens]

And the space with reflecting on what you're really grateful for. You know, what are you grateful for in terms of the year? Like, what do you. What excited you? What, what got you going? What were you grateful for if you.

[Nicole Jjes]

Had a tough year that you don't necessarily want to rehash? Lamarad says this technique of feeling gratitude and joy can be especially helpful and that you can anchor yourself in the things you're grateful for. Lamorad also says, make a space for acknowledging some of the disappointments from the past year. And for grief, he does this. Once the candlelight's been burning for a.

[Lama Rod Owens]

Bit, I like to just start reflecting on the things that have changed, the loss that I've experienced, the people that have transitioned in my life, offering prayers or aspirations that wherever they are now, that they're being cared for, you know, that they're happy, that they're free and so forth and so on, and just really allowing myself to notice that, to feel this and just to imagine just really offering this experience of grief.

[Nicole Jjes]

Lots of space during this quiet time, Lama Rod says you can mentally cruise through the past year of your life with a sense of curiosity.

[Lama Rod Owens]

What am I still confused about? What do I still have questions around? I like to go back and say, okay, oh, what happened there? Like, I didn't spend a lot of time with that interaction with someone or that. Whatever it was, you know, So I go back and I just kind of go back and just reflect, unpack, and just let it go, you know, just like, yeah, I get this now. Let it go.

[Nicole Jjes]

Here's a pro tip for letting go of feelings or an experience. Lama Rod says, visualize those feelings as if they were a cloud in motion.

[Lama Rod Owens]

Just seeing it as like this cloud floating through the sky of your mind, right? Or a wave rising up from the ocean.

[Nicole Jjes]

There's also a Buddhist practice where you take a small piece of paper and write down everything from the past year you wanna let go of, Light the paper on fire and drop it in a bowl of water. Lama Rod says this quiet practice in which you feel gratitude and grief and curiosity, can open space for what you wanna change in the following year. And now's the time to do some magical dreaming to help shape your future. Lama Rod says he thinks of dreaming kind of like time traveling.

[Lama Rod Owens]

You know, we time travel all the time, and I know that because most of us are stuck in the past.

[Nicole Jjes]

Yeah.

[Lama Rod Owens]

And so if we're stuck in the past, you know, then I also think we have the capacity to choose the future as well. You know, like, I want to. I want to shake loose the past and actually lean into the future, But I want to shake shape the future as well, not just let the future happen.

[Nicole Jjes]

Lama Rod says shaping the future is rooted in the present. And this is our takeaway number four. Spend some time dreaming about your future. Lama Rod likes to dream in the morning, which surprised me. To start your dreaming, Lama Rod says, first, suspend any doubts or limitations that you have. Instead, be imaginative and ask yourself, what.

[Lama Rod Owens]

Is my ultimate, complete golden Scenario vision for. For the future.

[Nicole Jjes]

If you do feel limited or you find yourself saying something isn't possible, you.

[Lama Rod Owens]

Have to pay attention to that and say, you know what? That's not what I'm doing. I'm not talking about what is possible. I'm talking about what I want to manifest, what I want to see happen.

[Nicole Jjes]

And Lama Rod knows this approach works because he used it to manifest his most recent book called the New Saints.

[Lama Rod Owens]

It was like, okay, I'm going to go really big.

[Nicole Jjes]

He says he was very specific with his dreaming.

[Lama Rod Owens]

For me, my dream was to offer something that could help people get free from suffering.

[Nicole Jjes]

From there, space opened up in his life for him to write this book. Lama Rod says you'll also want to get clear on your needs because that can enhance your dreaming.

[Lama Rod Owens]

Am I getting everything that I need? Right? And then I transition into wants. Like, what do I want on top of my needs? I have found that when I get clear about my needs, my wants begin to change.

[Nicole Jjes]

As for figuring out what you want, Llama Rod loves a vision board.

[Lama Rod Owens]

I think vision board can sound super cliche and new age. However, some people that I deeply respect in this world are very adamant about a visioning board for the upcoming year. And so I started doing that and found that to be really helpful.

[Nicole Jjes]

He collects images from magazines and downloads them from the Internet, and he chooses images that represent his goals and aspirations and hopes for the new year. Then he arranges them on a poster board and puts that someplace where he can see it every day. If you have aspirations for a collective world like peace, peace and stability, put those images on your vision board. And if you need more material resources like money, put that cash up on your vision board and call in that energy.

[Lama Rod Owens]

Because a vision board is really about calling energy, you know, of prosperity into our lives, Right? But it's hard to call that energy into your life when you're not clear about what you need or want to seize. So instead of just like, hoping for something to happen and having a vague aspiration, get concrete. Like, this is a time to get concrete about what you want to see next year. And that makes it much more likely for results to happen.

[Nicole Jjes]

Lama Rod says a vision board is about creating the causes and conditions for these things to happen in your life. Okay, let's recap some ways you can be reflective. Takeaway number one. Create some sat in your life. That sweet alone time. We're talking a short walk or do some journaling or make some art with a goal of checking in with yourself and listening to your heart. For takeaway number two, do an easy and fun drawing exercise where you can reflect on your last year. The point is to express your creativity and feel a little presence and sweetness. Takeaway number three find a cozy, quiet place and do an informal meditation. Light a candle and spend a little time thinking about your past year. Ponder what you're grateful for and also make a space for feeling some grief. Then for takeaway number four, do some bold dreaming about what Llama Rod calls your ultimate complete golden scenario vision for the future. You can even make a vision board to call in the energy you want in your life. And here's a little stocking stuffer of a takeaway. You've probably sensed that the vibe of this episode is chill and even solo. You can incorporate this approach for celebrating the New Year, too, and weave in a little sweet alone time on New Year's Eve or New Year's Day.

[Lama Rod Owens]

There's something about being really still and quiet as the old year transitions. I just kind of want to meet the new year in as much awareness as possible.

[Nicole Jjes]

And remember, you can use these tools for being quiet and still any time of the year, whenever you need it. Happy New Year.

[Marielle Segarra]

That was reporter Kyle Norris. For more Life Kit, check out our other episodes. Kyle hosted an episode about public speaking and another about how to make a great salad. You can find [e-mail] LifeKit and if you love LifeKit and want even more, subscribe to our [e-mail] LifeKitnewsletter Also, we love hearing from you, so if you have episode ideas or feedback you want to share, email [e-mail] this episode of Life Kit was produced by Sylvie Douglas. Our visuals editor is Beck Harlan, and our digital editor is Malika Gharib. Meghan Keane is our supervising editor and Beth Donovan is our executive producer. Our production team also includes Andy Tagle, Claire Marie Schneider and Margaret Serino. Engineering support comes from Stacey Abbott, Gilly Moon and Phil Edforce. I'm Marielle Segarra. Thanks for listening and happy reflecting.

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