The key to a less frantic holiday season

Summary

Life Kit: The Key to a Less Frantic Holiday Season

Host: Marielle Segarra (NPR)
Guest: Niro Feliciano, Licensed Clinical Social Worker & Author
Release Date: December 1, 2025

---

Episode Overview

This episode tackles the often overwhelming and hectic nature of the holiday season. Host Marielle Segarra and guest Niro Feliciano delve into practical strategies for letting go of perfectionism, managing family expectations and conflict, staying present for what really matters, and keeping stress and anxiety at bay. The conversation draws from Feliciano’s new book, All Is Calm...Ish, offering listeners a more joyful, realistic approach to the holidays.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Pressure for a “Perfect” Holiday

• Holidays Come with Unrealistic To-Do Lists
  Marielle lists a comically exhaustive array of “must-dos” for December, echoing the unrealistic pressures many feel to create magical experiences.
  (01:00-02:08)

• The Reality of Parental Overload
  Niro recalls peeling carrots for reindeer late into Christmas Eve and realizing she was taking on far too much for others, leading to a sense of dread.

  "Pretty much November 1st is when I started feeling it... we are all running at maximum bandwidth." — Niro Feliciano (02:42)

• Missing Out on the Moment
  Niro shares a story of exhaustion on Christmas morning:

  "In all the doing I am missing being. I am not here, I'm not present, I'm missing this." — Niro Feliciano (05:54)

Connection Over Perfection

• Focus on What Really Matters

  "If you authentically can find joy for yourself, that will do more for the people around you than you killing yourself trying to bring joy to them in other ways." — Niro Feliciano (08:26)

• Reflect on Moments to Be Present
  Marielle discusses the importance of choosing specific moments to be fully engaged, rather than aiming for constant perfection.
  (09:06-09:36)

  “Pick those three moments that you know you want to be present for, and then we can be intentional in those moments.” — Niro Feliciano (09:36-09:54)

Intentionally Letting Go

• Stop Doing the Unnecessary
  The tradition of peeling carrots for reindeer is used as a humorous example of unnecessary holiday “shoulds.”

  “Why am I peeling these carrots for the reindeer? Why am I doing that?” — Niro Feliciano (10:33)

• Mindset Shift: “I Get To” vs. “I Have To”
  Niro recommends reframing holiday obligations as privileges:

  “Shifting it to ‘I get to’ helps us to recognize privilege. And that often leads us into gratitude.” — Niro Feliciano (11:15-11:33)

  She gives personal examples, like decorating early because she treasures rare family time.
  (12:03-12:49)

Challenging Unrealistic Expectations

• Examine and Revise Your Expectations
  Holidays rarely go as planned. Niro urges listeners to notice and adjust unhelpful expectations.

  “Maybe we have to think backwards a little bit to what are my expectations for the holiday? What are the ones that never get met that always leave me disappointed?” — Niro Feliciano (14:00)

Boundaries and Family Drama

• Recognizing the Need for Boundaries

  “Any area of your life where you generally feel resentful or depleted... is an area that likely necessitates some boundary.” — Niro Feliciano (16:42)

• Practical Boundary-Setting Example
  Niro shares a friend’s story about limiting family’s holiday stay to maintain joy, emphasizing communicating limits clearly and kindly.
  (17:23-18:30)

• Letting Go of Unresolvable Conflict

  “If we've had this conflict for 20 years, we don’t necessarily have to solve it this holiday. ... Ask yourself what conflict is not worth addressing this holiday season?” — Niro Feliciano (19:05)

Coping With Holiday Anxiety

• Breathwork and Cold Therapy
  Niro suggests calming anxiety through slow exhalation (inhale 4, exhale 6) and exposure to cold (ice packs, cold water), both of which reset the nervous system.

  “It stimulates the vagus nerve and that puts us into parasympathetic, which is the rest and relaxed part of our nervous system.” — Niro Feliciano (20:34-21:13)

• The Power of Optionality

  “Most of what we do during the holiday season is actually optional.” — Marielle Segarra (21:58)

• Prioritizing Your Joy Benefits Others

  “Your joy is so important, and it will make a difference in how other people experience joy around you.” — Niro Feliciano (22:14)

GLAD Practice: A Gratitude Technique

• GLAD: Grateful, Learned, Accomplished, Delight
  This daily or seasonal reflection helps anchor gratitude and positive focus:
  • G: What are you grateful for?
  • L: What have you learned about yourself or others?
  • A: What have you accomplished? (small things count!)
  • D: What brings you delight? (23:04-24:16)

---

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• “In all the doing I am missing being.” — Niro Feliciano, reflecting on a missed Christmas morning (05:54)
• “Focus on connection over perfection.” — Marielle Segarra, recurring theme (09:06)
• “Shifting it to ‘I get to’ helps us to recognize privilege. ... that often leads us into gratitude.” — Niro Feliciano (11:15)
• “If we’ve had this conflict for 20 years, we don’t necessarily have to solve it this holiday.” — Niro Feliciano (19:05)
• “Most of what we do during the holiday season is actually optional.” — Marielle Segarra (21:58)
• “GLAD stands for what are you Grateful for, what have you Learned, what have you Accomplished, and what brings you Delight.” — Niro Feliciano (23:04)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:42] Niro describes the creeping dread of holiday overload
• [05:11] Niro’s story of missing presence on Christmas morning
• [07:02] Marielle’s childhood reflection on her exhausted mother
• [09:06] Takeaway: Connection over perfection
• [10:32] Letting go of unnecessary holiday “shoulds”
• [11:00] Mindset shift: “I get to” vs. “I have to”
• [13:41] Revising expectations for family time
• [16:42] Defining and applying boundaries
• [19:05] Identifying which family conflicts not to address
• [20:33] Techniques for calming holiday anxiety
• [23:04] The GLAD gratitude practice

---

Five Big Takeaways (Recap)

[24:24]

1. Focus on Connection Over Perfection
   Let go of getting everything “just right” in favor of meaningful connections.

2. Choose Three Moments to Be Fully Present For
   Decide what truly matters most—and consider what you can stop doing to make space for those moments. Shift your mindset from “I have to” to “I get to.”

3. Revisit Your Assumptions
   Ask what expectations, often unmet, are driving your disappointment and revise them for realism and kindness.

4. Set and Communicate Clear Boundaries
   Be honest about what you can handle, and remember you’re not obligated to fix long-standing family issues.

5. Use Simple Techniques to Reset Anxiety
   Practice calming breathwork, use cold as a reset, and reframe your thoughts with the GLAD meditation.

---

This episode offers a relatable, compassionate conversation infused with humor, honesty, and plenty of actionable strategies. Both host and guest model self-compassion and serve as a reminder that a joyful holiday is possible—if only we slow down, set boundaries, and focus on what (and who) truly matters.

Transcript

[NPR Sponsor Announcer]

Support comes from our 2025 lead sponsor of Life Kit, Progressive Insurance. Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.

[Mariel Segarra]

Hey, it's Marielle. Before we get to the show, I want to make sure you know it's a special week at npr. Tomorrow is Giving Tuesday. NPR celebrates this global day of generosity every year, but we've never had a year quite like this one. You've probably heard by now that federal funding for public media was eliminated as of October 1st. That means NPR is now operating without federal support for the first time ever. It's a big change and a big challenge, but it's one that we can overcome together. We are so grateful to the listeners who already stepped up to donate, like Stephanie from Kansas, who says, I frequently listen to Life Kit to jumpstart my morning. Everything I learn helps me practice productive habits. Stephanie, we are so glad to hear it. Please make your Giving Tuesday gift right now by signing up for NPR. Plus, it's a simple recurring donation that gets you perks like bonus episodes of NPR podcasts and curated collections of Life Kit episodes by topic, like health and parenting. Join us at plus.NPR.org thanks again for your support. And thanks. If you're already an NPR supporter, let's get on to the show. You're listening to Life Kit from npr. It is December, which means you have approximately 30 days to do the following Visit a quaint holiday market and find gifts for all your loved ones. Attend a sophisticated orchestral performance featuring all the holiday classics. Go ice skating, preferably holding hands with somebody. String up your Christmas lights, put up the tree or a menorah or both. Travel to an Austrian castle and fall in love with a prince. Return to your hometown after years away and fall in love with that bakery owner or farmer or the carpenter guy you went to high school with.

[Nuro Feliciano]

Yeah, he is looking good, isn't he?

[Mariel Segarra]

Plan a menu, buy ingredients and serve up an elaborate Christmas feast. Wrap the presents, make cookies for Santa. Oh, and peel the carrots for the reindeer. That last idea comes from Nuro Feliciano. She's a licensed clinical social worker. She has four kids. And yeah, she used to peel the carrots for the reindeer until one Christmas Eve when she and her husband were up really late and she realized, why am I doing this? Who is this even for? She also realized that the holiday season had started to come with this sense of dread.

[Nuro Feliciano]

Pretty much November 1st is when I started feeling it and I realized that this was also felt by so many of my patients because the way our life is now, no matter if you have no kids or four kids or whatever, it might look like we are all running at maximum bandwidth for so.

[Mariel Segarra]

Much of the holidays. We're on autopilot, we're doing the things we think we're supposed to, and while some of us are trying to create magical holiday experiences like the ones we see in those Hallmark movies that can leave us exhausted.

[Nuro Feliciano]

And I think the question we have to ask is, okay, what is really important in this season and what's taking away from the things that are the most meaningful parts of the holiday and what can I let go of in this season?

[Mariel Segarra]

Nairo just wrote a book on this topic called All Is Calm Ish. On this episode of Life Kit, we talk about how to be realistic during this season, how to let go of what you don't actually care about, and how to appreciate the holiday activities you are participating in. We'll also get into managing conflict around the holidays because fighting with family is not on anybody's to do list.

[Sponsor Announcer]

This message comes from Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart Choice make another smart choice with Auto Quote Explorer to compare rates from multiple car insurance companies all at once. Try [e-mail], progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy. This message comes from Apple Gift Card. Finding the right gift can be tough, but Apple Gift Card lets them choose their own story. They can use it for books, ad, free podcasts, subscriptions and more. The possibilities are endless. Visit applegiftcard.apple.com to learn more and gift one today.

[NPR Sponsor Announcer]

This message comes from Capital One with the Capital One Saver card. Earn unlimited 3% cash back on dining and entertainment. Capital One what's in your wallet? Terms apply [e-mail] this message comes from Dell. It's time for Cyber Monday, one of Dell Technologies biggest sales of the year. Enjoy huge savings on gift worthy accessories and select PCs like the Dell 16 plus featuring Intel Core Ultra processors. Shop now at Dell.com deals.

[Mariel Segarra]

You tell a story in the book about a Christmas morning where you weren't feeling very merry. Can you talk about that?

[Nuro Feliciano]

There was one holiday where we hosted dinner at Christmas Eve and this is after attending a church service and I looked at the clock. It was around 11 o' clock where we began the preparations for the next day. All the things that Santa doesn't take care of and it was probably around 6:30 in the morning where I felt my kids jump on our bed to wake us up. And I thought I had just fallen asleep. And that morning I was sitting there watching them and they were still at that very magical age where Christmas, everything about it was very magical for them. And I could barely keep my eyes open. And I remember thinking, oh my gosh, in all the doing I am missing being I am not here, I'm not present, I'm missing this. And I knew at that moment, this time is so fleeting. And now my kids one is out the door, she's in college and the time is going fast. So I'm grateful for that moment because it really did change the way I began to navigate the holidays. Certainly not perfect. I still have my moments of chaos and last minute and trying to get things done, but. But I've gone through it a little bit more mindful and present in the moments that I know I want to be present for.

[Mariel Segarra]

Yeah, it actually reminded me of a story from my childhood. Well, I asked Santa to get me a Polish Barbie because I'm Polish on my mom's side. And they had all these ethnic Barbies. I already had Puerto Rican Barbie, I had German Barbie, I wanted Polish Barbie. And so my mom looked for it everywhere and like, was not finding it and not finding it. Then on Christmas Eve she was up so late and she went to the store at the last minute on Christmas Eve and found it. And then the next morning, like, I remember opening it up and being like.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Oh my God, Polish Barbie.

[Mariel Segarra]

And I, like, I showed it to my mom and she was just laying on the couch like exhausted and did not seem excited that I had gotten Polish Barbie. And like Santa had fulfilled my dreams. And I felt in that moment like I had done something wrong. And I felt like, why doesn't, why is mom sad? Like, why isn't she happy right now? What? You know, and obviously I look at this very differently as an adult, like, and once I understood. But I think that in thinking that we have to make Christmas or the holidays like perfect for our kids or get them every last toy, every last thing they asked for, we end up burning ourselves out and then we're not present in the moments that we're there. And that actually can be hurtful to them in ways that we don't even realize they're processing ways that we don't realize that our mood is affecting them.

[Nuro Feliciano]

That is such a powerful story. And it's powerful for me for two reasons. I'll just Share. Because I remember the day I got Indian Barbie. I'm South Asian, and I remember how exciting it was just to see myself represented in some way in that toy. So I understand the Polish Barbie, the child's perspective in that. But I have been your mom in that situation many times over. And it's not that we don't want to feel joy, but in that moment of exhaustion, we really can't. And for that reason, I wrote in the book one of the phrases which stay with me during the holidays, and that's connection over perfection. Because I think at the end of it, that's what we all want. We all want to feel connected in this season. And there's so many things that steal that ability from us in trying to make this perfect for so many people and create those memories. And one thing I've always told parents and people during this time of year is that if you authentically can find joy for yourself, that will do more for the people around you than you killing yourself trying to bring joy to them in other ways.

[Mariel Segarra]

Takeaway 1. When in doubt, focus on connection over perfection. It's okay if the cookies are a little burnt. You know, Santa's gonna love them. And if you let go of the stress, y' all could have fun making them, too. You have a takeaway in the book that you should think about three moments that you'd like to be fully present for and engaged in this holiday. Think about what it is that you'd like to experience in those moments, and also what might have to change, what's gotta give in order to make that happen.

[Nuro Feliciano]

Yes. Being present all the time is hard, and it makes us feel really guilty. There are a lot of should statements that run through many people's heads. It's like this monologue that continues, especially during the holidays, of what we should be doing. So I always say, let's give ourselves grace in this season. Pick those three moments that you know you want to be present for, and then we can be intentional in those moments. Maybe it is that Christmas morning or that dinner with the family or at the concert that you're attending. And in that moment, put away your phones as much as you can and really show up for it with as much as you can bring in that moment. And I think that's a good start.

[Mariel Segarra]

Yeah. And in terms of what might have to change to make these moments happen, I think of that as, like, what am I gonna stop doing? And you have one example in here that you were, like, peeling carrots for the reindeer. I don't know. Do you still do that?

[Nuro Feliciano]

Why do I do that? I'm not sure if I even left carrots out last year because all of a sudden I realized, why am I peeling these carrots for the reindeer? Why am I doing that? But we just, in so much of this season, we're on autopilot, and I think the question we have to ask is, okay, what is really important in this season and what's taking away from the things that are the most meaningful parts of the holiday and what can I let go of in this season?

[Mariel Segarra]

Yeah. You also talk about shifting your mindset a bit. You say to name three statements that you make during the holiday season, like, I have to do this, I have to do that, and see if you can shift those to I get to do this, I get to do that.

[Nuro Feliciano]

Mm. That's a powerful shift. And I remember at one holiday where my monologue was about a hundred I have to statements, and there were things that if someone heard me and of course, you know, problems of privilege. I have to send out 200 holiday cards, and I have to, you know, go shopping for whatever gifts I need for whoever. But I stopped for a minute and I thought, these are privileges. And shifting it to I get to helps us to recognize privilege. And that often leads us into gratitude. It's not to minimize anybody's stress, but it's to see, can we shift perspective? And does that make a difference in how we experience the stress? And it did for me in that year in a very powerful way.

[Mariel Segarra]

What are some of your I get tos this year?

[Nuro Feliciano]

Well, this year, because I've been so packed with this book promotion, I've said I get to decorate my house early because I know if I don't do it early, it is not going to get done with the month that I have. But even things like, I get to bake cookies this year, which sometimes seems like a chore for me, part of that is because I know my daughter's coming home from college, and now I recognize the value of having all my kids under my roof. It's not something that I take for granted anymore. So there's a different kind of energy in getting our house ready and getting my mind ready and getting my spirit ready to be in a place where I can be present and enjoy having my whole family together for the short times that we are. This next month.

[Mariel Segarra]

Takeaway 2 this season, think about three moments that you'd like to be fully engaged for. What are those? What are you willing to stop doing to make space for them. And then as you do take part, try a mindset shift instead of I have to do this. Tell yourself I get to do this because after all, you are choosing to participate in these things. Okay, Another important takeaway, I think from the book is to ask yourself what expectations or beliefs do you have for yourself, your family or other people in your life this season that often don't get met? And the example you give here is family time is peaceful and everyone enjoys it.

[Nuro Feliciano]

Yes, it's what we wish for, but reality often doesn't mirror that.

[Mariel Segarra]

Yeah, well, so what do we do with those expectations that crop up around the holidays?

[Nuro Feliciano]

I think we have to take a look at them a little bit closer and rewrite those expectations. So in the case of an expectation like that, I would say, you know, there are going to be good moments with our family and there'll be moments where the kids are fighting and they're not grateful. And you know, we may get into things because we're stressed, but that's okay. That is also normal when families spend an extended amount of time together. And in that there will still be moments that are joyful. But I think oftentimes we don't even realize we're holding this expectation. We do recognize when it's not met and we're left either disappointed or frustrated. So maybe we have to think backwards a little bit to what are my expectations for the holiday? What are the ones that never get met that always leave me disappointed? And then work through it from that perspective.

[Mariel Segarra]

Takeaway 3 Ask yourself what expectations or beliefs do I have from myself, my family or other people in my life that often, often don't get met this time of year? How can I revisit those so they're more realistic when we're back? Nureau has tips for dealing with family drama that crops up around the holidays.

[NPR Sponsor Announcer]

This message comes from Capital One. Say hello to stress free subscription management Easily track block or cancel recurring charges right from the Capital One mobile app. Simple as that. Learn [e-mail] subscriptions terms and conditions apply.

[Sponsor Announcer]

This message comes from Whole Foods Market Build the perfect holiday meal at Whole Foods Market. From traditional holiday must haves to creative twists, everything must pass their strict ingredient standards grab sales on their impressive centerpiece mains with no antibiotics. Ever aim to please with limited time desserts like chocolate, bourbon pecan pie and ring in 2026 with sales on quality seafood Shop for your celebration at Whole Foods Market. With so many ways to save, terms apply.

[NPR Sponsor Announcer]

This message comes from Capital One with the Capital One Saver Card earn unlimited 3% cash back on dining and entertainment Capital One what's in your wallet? Terms apply [e-mail] support for NPR and the following message come from Edward Jones. A rich life isn't always a straight line. Unexpected turns can bring new possibilities. With a hundred years of experience navigating ups and downs, Edward Jones can help guide you. Let's find your rich together. Edward Jones Member, SIPC.

[Mariel Segarra]

Nairo. You have a takeaway here about conflict during the holidays and what boundaries you might need to set. First of all, tell me what you mean. I feel like we have all heard the word boundary a million times. But like, how do you define a boundary and, and how do you figure out which ones you might need?

[Nuro Feliciano]

I say any area of your life where you generally feel resentful or depleted or exhausted is an area that likely necessitates some boundary. So that might be in relation to an obligation or a commitment, or it may be in a relationship, something that occurs in your relationship that leaves you feeling that way and that might be a simple something you don't take on, something that you need to say no to, or specific directions that you may need to communicate to someone else. And let me give you an example. So a friend of mine said to me, I love hosting for the holidays.

[Mariel Segarra]

I love it.

[Nuro Feliciano]

And my family comes and they usually stay for a week and I am all in. I make it joyful for everybody. And this year I didn't invite the city part of my family because I'm tired. And we also want to do things with my kids because some of them are coming home from college. So she got a call from this family member saying we can't wait to come, we're coming for a week. And she said I can't do it for a week this year. So I asked her, well, how long could you host them for? First of all, do you want to host them? And she said, yes, I do, but not for a week. She said I could feel joyful for like four days. And I said, well then that's what you're going to communicate. So we went over script and I said to her, say to them, we are so excited to spend the holiday with you and we'd love for you to come from Friday to Tuesday or whatever the time was that she had decided and after that we've made plans so we're not going to be around. So she did that and she felt so much freer just by setting that boundary so it can look like that where you're actually not having a whole conversation and inviting that opinion, but you're stating what you need in that moment.

[Mariel Segarra]

Takeaway 4. You may be spending more time than usual with family this time of year. And as we've learned, we tend to have expectations of our family members that may or may not be realistic. So be clear about what you want, what you can attend, how long you can host people, and what you won't be participating in. Also remember, you don't have to fight anyone this Christmas or to fix anyone. Ask yourself what conflict is not worth addressing this holiday season?

[Nuro Feliciano]

Yes, because for some of us, we know the people who are going to bring the drama. It's the same people every year. So if we've had this conflict for 20 years, we don't necessarily have to solve it this holiday. We can do what we need to do to maintain peace at the same time. That shouldn't necessitate sacrificing all your joy to maintain peace. But there are often times, not on one extreme or the other, but somewhere in the middle that we can come to that place of peace. Okay, this is what I can deal with. I can't deal with some of these other things. So here's what I'm going to do and here's what I'm going to let go this season and not take the bait to get sucked into whatever conflict might be occurring.

[Mariel Segarra]

Choosing peace, as they say.

[Nuro Feliciano]

Choosing peace and asking that question, okay, what can I do to maintain the peace this season and what do I need to not do to maintain peace in this situation?

[Mariel Segarra]

Yeah, you have a chapter in here that talks about anxiety in the moment. You know, I can imagine this can happen when you're driving up to Thanksgiving dinner and you know that there is like someone there who you sometimes have conflict with or you're preparing to have people over and you're just like stressed out that it's not perfect. I mean there are so many different reasons you might get a flash of anxiety. So you have some techniques in here that are research backed that can help you you in those moments. What's one of your favorites?

[Nuro Feliciano]

So a couple things. One, the longer exhalation breathing, if we do it repeatedly, you know, long breaths, I like to do a four count inhale, a six count exhale. What it does is it takes us out of fight or flight, that sympathetic activation, it stimulates the vagus nerve and that puts us into parasympathetic, which is the rest and relaxed part of our nervous system. So that is something you can do on the way to that person's house, you can do it. As you're preparing to have people over, just take one minute and stop and slow down your breath and get into a place where you feel calmer. And it's amazing how quickly it actually can happen when we take the time to do it intentionally. And then the other thing I tell people, which is fairly easy, is use the cold. That could mean ice. That could mean take a quick, really cold shower, put your face in cold water, open the freezer, and stand there for a few minutes. Because that also takes us out of sympathetic activation and puts us into parasympathetic ice packs on your neck, on your chest, on your pulse points. That can lower the tension very quickly.

[Mariel Segarra]

Go outside and shove your face in a snowbank.

[Nuro Feliciano]

That's right. If you live in a cold climate, it actually will work. So it's something that most of us have access to in some way or another, and we can use it for our advantage, especially when we're feeling anxious or stressed.

[Mariel Segarra]

I find it helpful to remember that most of what we do during the holiday season is actually optional.

[Nuro Feliciano]

Mm, I love that it is. It doesn't feel like it, though, does it? It feels like, okay, we've made this commitment years before, we gotta keep it up. But you're right, it is optional. I spend a lot of time trying to convince women and parents and caregivers that your joy is so important, and it will make a difference in how other people experience joy around you. So look at those things that you say, okay, this is optional. And if it is going to take away from my joy, let's see if we can do things a little bit differently this year.

[Mariel Segarra]

Okay? Takeaway 5. Whether you're headed to a party or you're getting ready to host something, you may start to feel anxiety creeping up on you. Try a simple reset. Take a deep breath, exhaling for longer than you inhale, or press something cold against your face or your neck. You could also try something called the Glad Meditation that was created by psychologist Donald Altman.

[Nuro Feliciano]

For many people, we've heard a lot about gratitude, and it can get tiring for people. Although I will say, when you are practicing gratitude, what helps you get out of the very rote? I'm grateful for my health, my house. My partner is getting specific. What do you love about your house? Maybe it's your cozy bed or your blanket or what do you love about your partner? Maybe it's something they said to you that morning or how they looked at you. Get specific, and that's what keeps it from getting so routine. But the GLAD practice is another way to practice gratitude. And what GLAD stands for is an acronym. G A is for what are you grateful for? L is what have you learned about yourself or someone else in that day or that season of your life? The A is for what have you accomplished? And for some of you under a lot of stress, getting out of bed can go on that list for what you've accomplished for that day. And the D is what brings you delight. For me, sometimes it's just enjoy my cup of coffee that morning without having to microwave it three times before I get through it.

[Mariel Segarra]

Nero, thank you so much for this.

[Nuro Feliciano]

Oh, my pleasure. Thank you for having me.

[Mariel Segarra]

Happy Holidays.

[Nuro Feliciano]

And to you too. Happy holidays.

[Mariel Segarra]

Okay, time for a recap. Takeaway 1 Focus on connection over perfection. Takeaway 2 Think about three moments that you'd like to be fully present for this holiday season. And then instead of saying, I have to do this, tell yourself, I get to do this. Takeaway 3 Ask yourself, what expectations or beliefs do I have for myself, my family, or other people that often don't get met this time of year? And how can I revise those so they're a little more realistic? Takeaway 4 Be clear about what you want, what you can attend, how long you can host, and what you won't be participating in this year. Also, remember that you do not have to fight anyone this Christmas or to fix anyone. Ask yourself what conflict is not worth addressing this holiday season? And Takeaway five When anxiety sneaks up, try a simple reset. Take a deep breath, exhaling for longer than you inhale. Press something cold against your face or your neck. Or try the glad meditation. G what are you grateful for? L what have you learned about yourself or someone else recently? A what have you accomplished? This can be a small thing. And D what is bringing you delight? And that's our show. Hey, by the way, you're a fan of Life Kit, right? Well, don't keep us a secret. Why not send this episode to a friend who's been stressed about the holidays? Give them the gift of Life Kit. This episode of Life Kit was produced by Lennon Sherburne. Our visuals editor is Beck Harlan, and our digital editor is Malika Garib. Megan Keane is our senior supervising editor and Beth Donovan is our executive producer. Our production team also includes Andy Tagle, Claire Marie Schneider, Margaret Serino, and Sylvie Douglas. Engineering support comes from Robert Rodriguez and Gilly Moon. I'm Mariel Segarra. Thanks for listening.

[Sponsor Announcer]

This message comes from Capital One with the Venture X card. Earn unlimited double miles, a $300 annual capital one travel credit and access to airport lounges. Capital One what's in your wallet? Terms apply [e-mail] this message comes from Capital One.

[NPR Sponsor Announcer]

With the Spark Cash plus card, you earn unlimited 2% cash back on every purchase for your business. Find out [e-mail] SparkCashPlus terms apply this.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Message comes from Capital One. With the Venture X card, earn unlimited double miles, a $300 annual capital one travel credit and access to airport lounges. Capital One what's in your wallet? Terms Apply [e-mail].