Life Kit (NPR): "What to Say to Kids When the News is Scary"

Date: February 24, 2022
Host: Marielle Segarra (with Cory Turner & Anya Kamenetz)
Featured Guests:

• Dr. Rosemarie Truglio (Sesame Workshop)
• Tara Conley (Montclair University)
• Listeners sharing personal stories

Episode Overview

This Life Kit episode tackles a daunting parenting challenge: How do you talk with kids about scary things in the news? In a world where 24/7 media makes the unthinkable feel inevitable—wars, disasters, school shootings—hosts Cory Turner and Anya Kamenetz guide listeners through practical, compassionate steps. Drawing on expert advice from Sesame Workshop and research on media literacy, the episode offers six concrete strategies for helping kids process frightening news, correct misconceptions, and feel safe—even when scary things happen.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Shared Experiences: When Childhood Meets the News

• Personal Reflections on Scary News:
  • Anya recalls witnessing the Challenger explosion as a kindergartener; Cory remembers tornado coverage in the Midwest.
  • Listener stories highlight how even a glimpse of news can leave lasting, confusing impressions. Example: One listener misheard "guerrilla warfare" as "gorilla warfare" and feared ape attacks.
    • "I literally had a plan for where I would hide in my closet when the gorillas came." – Allison (02:16)

2. Six Takeaways: How Parents Can Help

Takeaway 1: Control Exposure (05:14)

• Limit kids’ access to breaking news. Don’t leave news on in the background.
• Expert Advice:
  • “Try not to let your kids watch or listen or browse the news without you. And try not to stream it or leave it playing on the background all day long.” – Dr. Rosemarie Truglio (05:14)
• Listener Molly Lewis describes being six during the JonBenét Ramsey case and becoming terrified after too much news exposure (05:32).

Takeaway 2: Start with Kids’ Understanding (07:19)

• Begin conversations by asking what your child already knows and feels.
• "Allowing them to have that space where they're asking questions about what they're seeing, how they're feeling, what do they think, who do they think the story is talking about?" – Tara Conley (07:30)
• Kids can develop wild misconceptions (e.g., thinking the Monica Lewinsky scandal was about a literal dress stain) if not given space and facts (08:12).
• Use concrete examples (e.g., show maps to explain distance from scary events) to clarify confusion and lower anxiety (09:46).

Takeaway 3: Give Facts & Context (09:55)

• Offer honest but age-appropriate details—don’t overload them.
• “Does he need to see all the gory details? No. Does he need to know of every event that's happening? Absolutely not.” – Dr. Rosemarie Truglio (10:26)
• Match explanations to each child's needs and temperament (11:19).

Takeaway 4: Avoid Labels, Focus on Helpers (13:31)

• When faced with questions like “Why do bad things happen?”, don't rely on simplistic answers.
• “I don't like talking about bad people, bad guys, evil guys. There are people who do bad things... Maybe this person didn't get kindness and didn't get love and didn't get nurturing.” – Dr. Rosemarie Truglio (14:07)
• It's okay not to have all the answers. Say so honestly (14:53).
• Highlight stories of people helping:
  • “When something scary is happening, look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” – referencing Mr. Rogers (15:43)
• Research shows that a media focus on helpers after trauma helps kids process fear more positively (17:23).

Takeaway 5: Encourage Expression & Storytelling (17:52)

• Kids process big, scary news through creativity—art, play, even pretending to be news anchors or telling their own stories about events (18:00).
• Example: Listener Natalie re-enacting the O.J. Simpson trial with stuffed animals (18:30).
• “The notion of play is part of reconstructing their own stories... just allowing for that to happen.” – Tara Conley (18:08)
• Adults do versions of this too—retelling and commenting on news (19:14).

Takeaway 6: Turn Fear into Action (20:24)

• Doing something (even small) helps kids regain a sense of agency and safety.
• Example: Adilawi shares how her mother always walks her through news events, tells her how to process and protect herself, and then they take action together—like protesting or donating (20:58).
• “Don’t just look for the helpers, be the helpers.” – Tara Conley (22:05)
• Taking practical steps (emergency planning, writing officials, peaceful protest) gives children a role in making things better (22:09).
• “Include your child in the preparations. That is key.” – Dr. Rosemarie Truglio (22:41)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Misconceptions:
  “When the Monica Lewinsky scandal happened, I sincerely thought the whole thing was in the news because she got a stain on her dress. ...I still get an uneasy feeling when I'm at a party and spill anything on my dress.” – Emily Prokop (08:12)
• On Rare Events & Reassurance:
  “You know, when there is stuff that happens, they put it on the news because it's unusual.” – Anya Kamenetz (11:51)
• On Media Framing:
  “We don’t just want our kids to treat media like this window we look through. She [Tara] wants kids to see the frame.” – Cory Turner (13:03)
• On Sitting With the Unknown:
  “Sometimes we don't have the answers to all of these whys. And it's really important for parents to say, I don't know why.” – Anya Kamenetz (14:53)
• On Processing Through Play:
  “Children often try to make sense of what they see and hear in creative ways through art, through play.” – Tara Conley (18:00)
• On Taking Action:
  “So for your family, that might mean going to a peaceful rally or protest...raising money together for a cause, or writing an elected official...include your child in the preparations. That is key.” – Dr. Rosemarie Truglio (22:09)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [05:14] – Takeaway #1: Control exposure to news
• [07:19] – Takeaway #2: Start conversations by asking what kids know
• [09:55] – Takeaway #3: Give facts and context
• [13:31] – Takeaway #4: Avoid labeling; focus on helpers
• [17:52] – Takeaway #5: Encourage kids to tell their own stories
• [20:24] – Takeaway #6: Turn conversations into positive action
• [22:45-24:02] – Episode Recap: Hosts succinctly restate all six takeaways

Episode Recap (From 22:45 Onward)

1. Keep things need-to-know and limit exposure.
2. Start conversations by asking questions.
3. Provide facts and context, reassuring when possible.
4. Avoid simple labels for ‘bad people,’ focus on people helping.
5. Encourage story-telling and creative expression.
6. Channel fear into positive action—be the helpers.

Tone & Style

The conversation is warm, personable, and mixes expert advice with relatable, sometimes humorous or poignant listener stories. Cory and Anya are candid about their own parenting challenges and childhood fears, creating a space for empathy and practicality.

In Summary

If you’re a parent—or anyone caring for kids—facing the question, "How do I explain scary news?" this episode offers wisdom and comfort. Control what you can, listen closely, answer honestly, highlight the helpers, encourage creativity, and—above all—remind kids they’re not powerless, and neither are you.