This Is Killing Your Marriage | Love Killers: Part 2

Summary

Life.Church with Craig Groeschel

Episode: “This Is Killing Your Marriage | Love Killers: Part 2”

Date: May 10, 2026
Host: Craig Groeschel

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Episode Overview

This episode focuses on how neglect, rather than conflict, is often the factor that "kills" marriages. Building upon the previous week’s discussion on selfishness, Craig Groeschel unpacks the silent and gradual danger of neglecting your spouse, using biblical wisdom, personal stories, and practical insights. The message is aimed not just at married couples, but to anyone in any stage of relationships—or anyone prone to neglect the most important aspects of their life.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Principle of Neglect in Relationships

• “Nothing you neglect gets better.” ([01:05])
  • Applies to health, relationship with God, friendships, parenting, and especially marriage.
  • Illustration: Like skipping your car’s oil changes—it shouldn’t surprise us when the engine gives out if it wasn’t maintained.
• “Whatever you stop feeding, starts dying.” ([02:00])
  • Most relationships die not from big fights, but from gradual lack of attention.

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2. Biblical Foundations: Proverbs and Song of Solomon

• Proverbs 24:30-34:

  • Craig reads the passage about the field and vineyard overtaken by thorns and weeds because of a “sluggard” (lazy person).
  • Key problems:
    • Thorns everywhere
    • Ground covered in weeds
    • Stone wall in ruin
  • “The sluggard didn’t destroy his vineyard; he just neglected it.” ([07:55])
  • Neglect is usually subtle, “a little sleep, a little slumber…” ([11:00])—slow, almost unnoticeable until the consequences come.

• Song of Solomon 2:15:

  • “Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards.” ([13:00])
  • It’s not “big lions and tigers and bears,” but small, seemingly harmless neglects—the “little foxes”—that do the most damage.

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3. Personal Story: Craig & Amy’s Early Marriage

• Craig shares a vulnerable moment:

  • When Amy brought their first child home, he was preoccupied with seminary and ministry ([15:40]).
  • Amy, left alone for nearly 3 days post-birth, confronts Craig (“…I saw her doing something like this. When she turned around, she had a knife…are you gonna be my husband, or do I need to find someone that will?”) ([17:35])
    • He jokes, but drives home the point: “I wasn’t being hateful. I was being dumb…sometimes neglect isn’t just doing nothing; it’s doing the wrong thing really well.” ([18:36])

• Reflection:

  • “You don’t have to plan to ruin your marriage…if you aren’t intentional, neglect will ruin it for you.” ([06:45])

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4. What Are the “Little Foxes”?

• Everyday Examples:
  • You used to ask about each other's day, but now you don’t ([21:32])
  • “You give two hours of your night to your phone, and two minutes to your spouse, then wonder why you feel disconnected.” ([24:18])
  • “Your phone may be the most effective marriage neglect device ever invented…” ([24:22])
  • “You will never have the marriage God intended when you have a more intimate relationship with your device than the person sitting in front of you.” ([25:00])

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5. Neglect Isn’t Just About Marriage—It’s About Priorities

• Applies to dating or any relationship:

  • “If you’re wondering ‘am I a priority to this person?’ there’s probably a reason you’re wondering.” ([26:15])
  • “Neglect doesn’t get better with a ring.” ([27:20])

• Danger of Child-Centered Parenting:

  • “One of the most dangerous foxes isn’t something bad—it’s something good: your children.” ([28:04])
  • “When you sacrifice everything—including your marriage—for your kids, that’s not the best way to love your kids.” ([28:39])
  • The “greatest gift…is not a better childhood. It’s a strong marriage that lasts long after the kids are gone.” ([32:40])

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6. If You’re Not Seeing Fruit—What Now?

• “If you have neglected each other, you’re not alone…nobody gets this right. If you’ve lost ground in your marriage, it doesn’t have to stay that way.” ([35:29])
• Rebuilding the Wall:
  • Calls back to the “stone wall” in Proverbs ([36:10])
  • “In your marriage, when the walls come down, everything that wants to destroy your marriage walks right in. Not because you opened the gate, but because you neglected the wall.” ([36:38])

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7. Practical Application: What Are Your ‘Walls’?

• For Craig & Amy, it was always having a date night ([38:12])

  • “When you have six kids, if you don’t prioritize time alone, you’re not gonna get it, period.” ([38:45])
  • They noticed when they stopped having date nights, intimate communication stopped too ([41:10])
  • “For us, date nights were a wall. It kept the opposition out.”

• Other suggestions: honest conversation, walking together, being in a life group, Bible study, intentional time together without distractions ([42:52])

• “You don’t drift because your marriage is weak, you drift because you stopped doing what made it strong.” ([42:31])

• Ann Landers’ quote on their fridge:

  • “Neglect the rest of the world if you have to, but never neglect each other.” ([44:43])

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8. Encouragement and Hope

• “If you’ve neglected your relationship, it is not too late. It’s time to tend the vineyard and rebuild the wall.” ([48:00])
  • Acknowledges: Change is tough, results aren’t immediate.
  • “Don’t become weary in doing good…for you will reap a harvest if you don’t give up.” (Citing Galatians, [50:26])
  • “Vineyards can grow again—even after the weeds, thorns, and walls are down—because Jesus never stopped tending.” ([53:10])
  • “The principle is clear: nothing you neglect gets better. But what you tend, with God’s help, will bloom again.” ([54:10])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Whatever you stop feeding, starts dying. And that’s why most relationships don’t die from conflict—they actually die from neglect.” – Craig Groeschel ([01:58])
• “The sluggard didn’t destroy his vineyard. He just neglected it.” – ([07:55])
• “Neglect feels slow, but the consequences feel sudden.” – ([11:37])
• “It’s not the big things, it’s the little neglects. It’s the little foxes.” – ([13:16])
• “Sometimes neglect isn’t just doing nothing, sometimes it’s doing the wrong thing really well.” – ([18:36])
• “Your phone might be the most effective marriage neglect device ever invented…” – ([24:22])
• “Neglect doesn’t get better with a ring.” – ([27:24])
• “The greatest gift you can give your children is not a better childhood—it’s a strong marriage that lasts long after the kids are grown.” – ([32:40])
• “You don’t drift because your marriage is weak, you drift because you stopped doing what made it strong.” – ([42:31])
• “Neglect the rest of the world if you have to, but never neglect each other.” (Ann Landers, quoted at [44:43])
• “Vineyards can grow again—even after the neglect—because Jesus never stopped tending.” – ([53:10])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–04:10 – Introduction to the principle: Nothing neglected gets better.
• 04:11–13:20 – Proverbs 24, “sluggard” metaphor, dangers of gradual neglect.
• 13:21–19:10 – Song of Solomon “little foxes”, personal story about neglect.
• 19:11–28:40 – Practical examples of little foxes (phones, routines), application for singles & parents.
• 28:41–34:00 – Child-centered parenting, prioritization, the effects on marriage.
• 34:01–38:45 – Hope for marriages: Rebuilding the wall, what to do if connection is lost.
• 38:46–44:40 – Personal example: date nights as a protective “wall.”
• 44:41–48:00 – Ann Landers’ quote, walking as connection, encouragement.
• 48:01–54:10 – How to start again, biblical encouragement, the example of Jesus in tending vineyards.
• 54:11–End – Broader application: any neglect, not just marriage. Call to prayer and spiritual renewal.

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Tone & Final Thoughts

• Direct, humorous, honest, practical, and encouraging. Craig’s authenticity and candor make the topic relatable and actionable, balanced between empathy for listeners’ struggles and a loving push toward change.
• The episode concludes with a call for listeners to identify areas of neglect in any relationship (or spiritual practice), to repent, realign priorities, and trust God that renewal is possible—because of Christ’s persistent love.

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Action Steps & Takeaways

• Identify and address your marriage’s “little foxes”—the small habits or neglects that lead to emotional distance.
• Focus more on your spouse (and key relationships) than on devices and distractions—“be more intimate with people than your phone.”
• Don’t build your life solely around your children; prioritize your marriage to give your kids a lasting gift.
• Find your own “wall”—the habits or rhythms that protect and maintain intimacy. For Craig & Amy, it’s date nights and walks; what’s yours?
• If you’ve neglected your marriage (or anything important), it’s not too late: with intentionality and God’s help, you can rebuild.

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Transcript

[A]

Well, last week we talked about selfishness, which we discovered is the root beneath every relationship problem. This week we're gonna talk about neglect. What happens when you stop pursuing and stop prioritizing your spouse and stop showing up. Selfishness is what starts the problem. Neglect is what eventually kills the relationship. And the principle that we're gonna build upon today is this. You know it's true, but I wanna drive it home. And the truth is this, that nothing you neglect gets better. You know this. You neglect your body, put anything in it, your body doesn't get better. Neglect your relationship with God, it doesn't get better. Neglect your relationship with your friends, with your children, it doesn't get better. And the same is true with. With merit. It's interesting because we know this in other areas of our life. For example, you would never, let's say, skip your oil change for two years and then wonder why your engine dies. But somehow, when it comes to our relationships, we stop investing in our marriage and we wonder why it falls apart. And the principle is because of this. Because whatever you stop feeding, starts dying. And that's why most relationships don't die from conflict. They actually die from neglect. I illustrate this. Years ago, Amy and I lived next to some of the nicest people that were so hard to live next to because they were the yard of the month king and queens. Some of you are those people. God bless you, you're hard to live next to. They won the yard of the month every month. And I was just married, didn't know anything how to care for a yard. They had two little girls. They were probably seven and five. What's amazing is these girls are now grown and have kids of their own, and they're a part of our church. And so hello to both of you. Love you all. They came over to my house one time and they said, my dad says that you have the ugliest yard in the neighborhood. Which was true, but you didn't have to call it out. And, like, I literally didn't know. I just. I didn't know. I didn't fertilize it. I didn't water it. I didn't even bag the grass. I just whacked it down. And what I realized is that you don't have to plant weeds in the yard for weeds to grow. And in the same way, you don't have to plan to ruin your marriage to actually ruin your marriage, because if you aren't intentional in your approach to your marriage, neglect will ruin it for you. And Solomon, in the Old Testament, noticed this very same thing thousands of of years ago. And this is what he said in Proverbs, chapter 24, starting in verse 30. Look carefully at the wisdom in this text. He said, I went past the field of a sluggard, of a lazy person, of someone who stopped doing what they were called to do. I went past the field of a sluggard, past the vineyard of someone who had no sense. And then we're gonna see three problems. First of all, thorns had come up everywhere. And then the second problem, the ground was covered with weeds. And then the stone wall was in ruin. We've got thorns, we've got weeds, and we've got a stone wall that's now in ruins. The next part of the text says this. I applied my heart to what I observed, and I learned a lesson from what I saw. What did he say? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man. A little sleep and a little slumber and poverty will come on you. In this kind of story or picture, we've got a field and a vineyard. The field represents what you need today. The vineyard represents what you're building for tomorrow. And when you look at this field, you see the problem very, very clearly. Thorns and weeds had overtaken the field, and the wall that protected it from outside opposition was down. Therefore, it was vulnerable. And what's crazy, interesting, if you pay really attention to this story, is that the sluggard didn't destroy his vineyard. He just neglected it. And what's crazy, it wasn't like big, massive years of neglect. It was just little things, little bit one day at a time. A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands, a little bit of neglect. That's almost unnoticeable at first, but that's the problem about neglect, is neglect feels slow, but then the consequences feel sudden. And it may be real quiet today because some of you are there, you might say, like, we don't even know what happened. We were close, and then life started happening, and now we're not what happens. I can tell you what happened in many cases is neglect happened. It happens to the best of us, just a little bit at a time, and you don't even realize it. And that's why neglect is so dangerous, because neglect doesn't feel like sin. And I want to show you something Solomon said, that will really speak to some of you and be maybe move you off center as it's moved me off center. He Said this in Song of Solomon, verse 2, 5. About the vineyard, he said, catch for us the foxes. These are the enemies that come in and eat the little blossom. Catch for us the foxes. Now, were they big foxes or were they little foxes? Catch for us the little foxes that ruin the vineyards. Our vineyards that are in bloom. Catch for us those little foxes that come in. Not the big lions and tigers and bears. That was pretty good. Pretty good. Not bad. Making sure you're with me. Not the big things. It's the little neglect. It's the little foxes. And how did the little foxes attack? Not like this. Ha. What they did is, you better stay with me. Cause I'm coming in in a relatively good mood today. And you know what happens when I'm in a good mood is I say things that I tend to regret. So just work with me today, okay? With the little foxes. They come in and they eat the blossoms. And if the blossoms get eaten, they never produce fruit. Watch for the little foxes. Watch for the little foxes. Now, if you're sitting there going, man, my marriage isn't so good, I wish I had a marriage like Craig and Amy. I'm gonna tell you a story to relieve you of that thought, okay? I am not proud of this story, but it is true and I gotta own it. Amy gave birth to our first child. This is Katie. One time I told this story and I said, amy gave birth to our first child. And I showed a picture of Stephen. They all look the same. Okay, this is actually Katie. I confirmed beforehand. And so it really is Katie. They all look the same. And right after she gave birth to Katie, I was in seminary at the time. And I had a class that was on a Friday, Saturday, all day, and then the next Friday, Saturday. And if I completed this class, I would graduate that semester. If I didn't do that class, then I would have to go one more semester. After four years of working full time and school full time, I was ready to get done. So Amy came home from the hospital with our firstborn on Friday. And guess where your pastor was not. I wasn't in a car driving her. Why? Because I was in seminary doing what I thought was a responsible thing to do. Then, Glenn, I preached that night because I preached on Friday nights. Single truth. Jesus is the single truth. And then Saturday, I was in seminary all day because I thought I was being responsible. And Sunday, where was I on Sunday? At church. Cause that's where pastors are. I came home maybe about 2 o' clock on Sunday. Amy was in the kitchen, had her back to me. And I saw her doing something like this. And when she turned around, she had a knife. And I'm not gonna say she pointed it at me, but it was pointing like this. And she said something like, are you gonna be my husband, or do I need to find someone that will? She didn't say that, but that's what I heard. Okay, that's what I heard. It was something about the knife. I'm sure. I'm sure it was nicer than that. It wasn't that, but that's what I heard. That's what I felt. And here's what I want you to know is, like, I love her. And I wasn't being hateful. I was being dumb. Why? Because I'm a man, and I specialize in dumb. And the dumb don't say amen all the amen. Amen. Amen. Don't do that. The worst part is, like, I genuinely thought I was doing what was right, being responsible. And left my bride with her first child, literally almost three days, and she had to get home from the hospital herself. Wish I was married to someone like Pastor Craig. No, you don't. Because I thought I was being a good husband, and I was neglecting the love of my wife and my firstborn child. And that's why, remember, this neglect isn't just doing nothing. Sometimes it's doing the wrong thing really well. Let it speak to you. Let it speak to you. God, speak to me. God, speak to me. We don't do this in the series. Don't do this. Don't you elbow the person next to you. You just look straight ahead. Let God talk to you. And so I'm gonna ask you. I'm gonna ask you a couple times. What are the little foxes that are strangling your relationships? The little things that seem harmless until they're not. The little bitty things. Like, you used to come home and, like, genuinely ask about their day and listen to it, but now you don't because they don't ask about yours. Or you used to say I love you and all the time and mean it, and now it's how you end the call. Occasionally, you used to put the kids in bed and then go sit down and, like, talk about the day. Talk about your dreams. Talk about what you're. Maybe even pray together. Now at the end of the day, you put your kids to bed, and what do you do? You stare at separate screens. And I'm gonna stay here for a moment because I think this is really, really important. I am not Saying that your phone is evil, because it's not. But I am saying that your phone might be the most effective marriage neglect device ever invented in the history of the world. And some of you, you need to let God speak to you on this, is you give two hours of your night to your phone and two minutes to your spouse, and you wonder why you feel disconnected. You will never have the marriage that God intended you to have when you have a more intimate relationship with the device than you do with a person sitting in front of you. And listen, I'm just gonna push you here. You're gonna clap and go home and look at your phone all night long. Listen, your phone does not need your attention. Your spouse does. Your marriage does. You want marriage counseling? Throw this thing out. Turn it down at night. Shut it down. Talk. There you go. 120 bucks I just saved you. Now maybe you're not married. What we're trying to do is we're trying to help you get the foundations. What always happens is people say, man, I wish I'd known that years ago. And so you may not feel like you can apply it now, but you actually can, because it matters. You don't neglect the most important things. Whatever you neglect doesn't tend to get better. If you are dating someone right now and you're wondering, like, am I a priority to this person? If you're wondering, there's probably a reason you're wondering. There's never an easier season in your life to be fully engaged in pursuing each other than before you're married. Cause when you get married and you get kids involved and professions and houses and all that kind of stuff, it gets more complicated. It's never easier than in that beginning stage. And so if he thinks that him playing a video game and you watching is a great date, you might need to upgrade that, dude. Okay? Find someone who knows how to open a car door and, like, make a reservation and pay the bill and sit there and talk to you and put out some effort. And what I want you to hear is, like, if you don't feel treasured now, the odds don't go up later. Neglect doesn't get better with a ring. Okay, so. And I'm not trying to be the grumpy guy, but. Cause I am in a good mood, but I am trying to get this through to you. Watch for the little foxes, those things that slowly choke out your relationship. And if I haven't pushed you yet, I'm about to push you hard right now. One of the most dangerous foxes isn't something that's bad. One of the most dangerous foxes is something that's good, that you love deeply. Your children. Okay, there are those of you that you used to prioritize yourself, genuinely serving one another, honoring one another, loving one another, cherishing one another. And then you had kids, which is a good thing and a blessing from God. And now you've neglected your marriage, and now it's all about your kids. And that feels right, but it is wrong and it's dangerous. And it's not the best way to love your kids. Experts would call this child centered parenting. That's different than child loving parenting. There's a difference. Child loving is when you'll do anything for your kids. Child centered parenting is when you sacrifice everything, including your marriage, for your kids. And culture is teaching you and programming you to design your life around your kids. And when you design your life around your kids and neglect the very core relationship created to bring a foundation to your kids, that's not loving your kids. And what happens is, for some of you, your kids get your best everything. Your best energy, your best ideas, your best attention. You give the very best to your kids and your spouse gets what's left over. And that's not gonna build a godly marriage. And then what happens? You can ask some people here because they're a little bit ahead of you. One day, 20 years later, the kids are gone and they leave the home, and you're sitting there in the kitchen next to someone and you got really nothing to say. Why? Because you spent 20 years centered around your kids and you forgot to love each other. And I want you to listen. And if you get mad at me, you are probably the one that needs to listen the closest. What you resist the most often reveals where you need to hear it the most. You didn't drift apart. What you did was you put your kids first. And I get it. Listen, we've raised six kids. I promise you. I know it, I know it. I've been there. Some seasons, I. They just demand more, and they demand a lot. As a parent. You got a baby, you got three kids under three. They're in diapers. You got a sick child. All that stuff is real. But that's a season. And a season isn't supposed to become a lifestyle. Please hear me. The greatest gift you can give your children is not a better childhood. It's a strong marriage that lasts long after the kids are grown. The best way. The best way. And please, I'm so glad you're clapping. Don't just Clap. Live it. Don't just clap, live it. The best way to love your kids is to strengthen your marriage. Watch for the little foxes. Watch for the little foxes. Now, I'm gonna slow it down, because what I know right now is there's some of you, like you're dying on the inside. And I wanna acknowledge that some of you, you are doing this. We talked about selfishness last week, and you're not selfish. You're laying down your life. We're talking about pursuing, and you are pursuing. And there are some of you, you are doing everything right, and you're not getting anywhere. I want to tell you right now that it's not your fault. God sees you. God cares about you. There are some of you, you are doing the very best with the power of God, and you are genuinely trying to honor God. God sees you, and he knows that. I'm not talking to that. That's a vat. I'm talking to the vast majority of you. And the vast majority of you are just letting the little foxes get in. You still want it to work, but the little foxes have just eaten away the buzz. And now there's no fruit. You're just distracted. You're just busy. You're just not intimately talking. You're just drifting from each other. And so if you're sitting there going, uh, should have watched this one online. You know, hang with me, okay? If you have neglected each other, you're not alone. I mean, we've all done it for a season. Nobody gets this right. So don't bring condemnation on yourself. And if you've lost ground in your marriage, here's what I need to understand is it doesn't have to stay that way. It doesn't have to stay that way. And so what do you do if you've lost some of the intimacy? What do you do if you've drifted from each other? Well, remember the wall that we talked about earlier? The stone wall that was in ruin? There was no protection left. I'll show you the verse again. I went past the field of a sluggard. The ground was covered with weeds. And what happened? The stone wall was in ruins. The protection to keep the enemy out was now down. And the vineyard was vulnerable. In your marriage, when the walls come down, everything that wants to destroy your marriage walks right in. Not because you opened up the gate, but because you neglected the wall. I did this with Amy. We're coming up on 35 years of marriage, and we've been ridiculously blessed with a really good marriage. I think one of the reasons why in the early years is we always had a date night. Always a date night. And when you say, like, oh, Pastor Craig, it is a date night. It's not that. When you have six kids, if you don't prioritize time alone, you're not gonna get it, period. I'm telling you, them six drunk squirrels, they everywhere all the time. Okay? And so I'm not, like, going date night, date night. I'm going, like, survival oxygen. What's your name? My name's Craig. Oh, yeah, we're married. Okay. I'm talking about. It's necessary. It's not like, just, hey, you know, no life survival. And it doesn't have to be a date night. It has to be something. Your version of that. And so I don't know where we were four, five, six kids into it. And I just thought, our marriage has been good this whole time. And so we were busier. And I thought, well, we don't need a date night this week. And then we didn't do a date night the next week. And a few weeks went by, and things seemed fine. And we just literally one day just stopped doing the thing that had been helpful to keep us intimate and close. We were at life group, and Amy opened up and told our life group something that was very personal and very intimate to our whole group that I didn't know about. I said, I'll show her. I told them something very intimate and personal that she didn't know about. And the next week, we came back to life group again, and. And she told more details about that very personal, intimate thing that I didn't know about. And we started looking at it going like, there's all these personal, intimate things that we haven't told each other. And it wasn't because we were hiding them. It's just we hadn't been talking intimately. And it dawned on both of us that we were in the moment, sharing more with our life group than we had been sharing with each other. And Amy was the one that asked the questions because she's the one with more emotional intelligence. And she said, when did we stop talking to each other? And it dawned on me when we stopped doing date nights. And again, I'm not saying date nights are the key. I'm saying there's. Whatever the key is, you gotta use that key. And here's the principle. If you don't drift because your marriage is weak, you drift because you stopped doing what made it strong for us. Date nights, that was a wall. It kept the opposition out. Build the wall, whatever that is for you. It might be just an honest conversation. I don't know. It might be the kids go to bed and you don't put Netflix on and you don't play your phone game. You sit on the couch and you just talk to each other until you say it all. It could be that you go on walks together. It could be that you're in a life group together. It could be. Do a Bible study together. It could be you do a youversion thing together. It could be that you FaceTime each other from the other room and just until you get so romantic, you run into the room. I don't know what it is. Whatever. You know, I'm making this up. Just work with me, okay? Give me some grace. Whatever brings you, you may go look back and say, when it was going well, what were we doing then? We're not doing. And rebuild the wall and tend the vineyard. And rebuild the wall and tend the vineyard. Old people. How many of you remember Ann Landers? Yeah. Okay. A lot of old people. I do, too. Yeah. So she was like a famous advice columnist back in the 1920s. And so, just joking, like in the 90s. Okay. And. And early in our marriage, Amy and I had a quote, an Ann Leonard's quote. We put on our refrigerator. I'm gonna show you a couple pictures just for fun. Cause I told you, in a good mood. On the left. This was when we were engaged. And Amy filled my refrigerator, and I was so excited, I took a picture of it that was just amazing. That has nothing to do with the sermon, but I took it back then. I'm still thankful for it today. On the right is our refrigerator. And on it we had the Ann Landers quote. And her quote was this. Neglect the rest of the world if you have to, but never neglect each other. And there we were as young kids, barely married, and that was a foundational thing for us. Neglect the rest of the world if you have to, but never neglect each other. And for us, one of the things in the second part of our marriage was walking together. If you like to go on walks in our part of town, you'll see us out three, four nights a week. And I would say this, that it's crazy, but the quality of our marriage is often a reflection of the frequency of our walks. And it's not because of walking's magic, but for us, it's just I process better when we're side by side. I like being outside. Our walk is about an hour long, and it gives us time to Actually talk through some things. Amy talks for the first 35 minutes or so, and then I get a chance. And then we talk through things that are really, really intimate. And we hold hands on the whole way, and we come back, and somehow things just are a little better after we've had our walks. That's a wall for us. I don't know what it'd be for you. It doesn't have to be that, but it should be something that's yours. And so if you've neglected your relationship, what I'll tell you right now, it is not too late. It's not too late. It's time to tend the vineyard and to rebuild the wall. And again, I just want to be very pastoral because I've pushed on you a little bit, but I'm intentionally pushing because you need to hear this. The things we're saying. Don't build your life around your kids, strengthen your marriage and love your kids as an overflow of your marriage. You got to make some changes. And it may not be easy, and in most cases, it probably will not be easy because you didn't get to this place overnight. And so it's not likely to fix all your problems like Tuesday. So what do you do? You rebuild the wall, and you keep on tending. You encourage one another, you pray for one another, you honor one another, you forgive one another, you love one another, you serve one another. You rebuild the wall, and you keep on tending. I like the words of the Apostle Paul in Galatians when he said this. He said, don't become weary in doing good. I know you're trying. I know you're trying. Don't give up. Don't become weary. And doing good. For you will reap what harvest the vineyard will give bear fruit if you don't give up. So I don't know who this is for, but I do know that years from now, there will be someone who will look back on this and say, I heard from God. He spoke to us. We're different because of what he showed us. Don't give up. Keep tending. Keep rebuilding. Because what I do know is this, that vineyards can grow again, even after the weeds, even after the thorns, even after the walls are down, even after the neglect. And the reason I know this is because Jesus never stopped tending. Right? Think about it. Whenever you drifted, he pursued you. Whenever you stopped showing up, he never left you. When you made a mess of your life like I made a mess of my life, he didn't walk away, but continued to love you. And he's the reason why neglected things can bloom again. His name is Jesus. He is the king of all kings. He is the Lord of all lords. He is the son of the most High God. And he is present, reigning, sitting at the right hand hand of God the Father, praying for you at this very moment. And the same love that pursued you can teach you to pursue each other again. And the principle is clear. Nothing you neglect gets better. But what you tend with God's help, with God's power, with God's presence, it will bloom again. So, Father, we pray in the name of your risen son, Jesus, that you would prepare hearts today for relationships in the future. God, that you would work in marriages and families today to realign our hearts. God, to putting you first and serving one another, laying down our lives to love each other as you've loved and served your church at all of our churches. I'm gonna speak broader than marriage right now. In. In any area of your life, something important that you've neglected and you want that to be realigned with God's will. It could be you've neglected God. It could be that you've neglected some friendships. It could be that you've neglected his Word. It could be that you've neglected your marriage. It could be that you've neglected a child. Whatever it is, there's something important in your life and the hope the Holy Spirit is doing surgery on you specifically for you. Well, this message isn't for me. I'm not married. No. God's word is living. Active, powerful, will not return void. God wants to speak to you. There's something that you've neglected, something important, and God is bringing you back into alignment today. You say yes, God, do a work in me. Help me to prioritize what matters to you and what is important to you. If that's you today and God's showing you some area of your life that you've neglected, would you lift up your hands right now and say yes? Pray for me. Just lift them up right now. All our churches don't. Hey, Kansas, lift them up. Florida, lift them up. Texas, lift them up. Tennessee, lift them up. Wherever. New York, lift them up. Lift them up and say yes or no online. Say yes. Pray for me, Craig. Pray for me. Father, I ask that in the name of your son Jesus, that you would help us to seek you. First you. First you. First you. First your kingdom and then God. Everything else will be aligned when we put you first. Any area God that we've neglected that's important to you or a calling in Our life, God bring us into alignment. We repent of our laziness. We repent of a little slumber, of a little resting. And God empower us to do what matters to you. Heal bodies, heal relationships, heal families, heal marriages. As we realign our hearts with what matters to you. God bless all those who need your power and your presence today. We pray, as you keep praying all of our churches, nobody looking around. There are those of you right now that if we could just sit down and talk about spiritually where you are. You say, yeah, God's not anywhere near first priority. And let me tell you right now, this is life, man. It doesn't get any better, any busier than this month. Graduations and tournaments and Mother's Day and holidays and I mean, it's as busy as it can and life is happening all around you. And guess what? Sometimes God just gets completely squeezed down. Weeks, months, years. Sometimes you wake up and realize, I'm not seeking him and I'm not serving Him. Well, let me tell you what he's doing with you right now. He is pursuing you. He is pursuing you. He is drawing near to you. Jesus said, if I got a hundred sheep and one of them gets away, I'm leaving the 99, I'm going after the 1. Some of you need to recognize right now that the presence of the Holy Spirit is coming after you because you're not in an intimate with fellowship with God. And that's what God desires. He is a patient God. It's his will that none should perish. And he wants you thriving in a forgiven, spirit filled relationship with Him. If you're not, you're here today for this very reason. Don't neglect it a moment longer. Who is Jesus? The Son of God who died on a cross for the forgiveness of our sins. He was raised from the dead so that anyone, and this includes you, who calls on his name would be forgiven, saved, changed in a moment, not because you deserve it, but because his grace is that good. What do you do? You step away from your sin. The Bible calls it repent. I turn away from my sins. I turn towards Jesus. I give him my whole life. When you call on him, he forgives your prayers. He makes you brand new. There are those of you, you know it. He's pursuing you. You're ready to say yes to him. Jesus, I give you my whole life. That's your prayer. Lift your hands high right now. All over the place, but up there. God bless you guys over there as well. Right back over there. Oh, come on. Right there, Lift your hands high and say, yes, Jesus. Right back up there. Others today say, I'm surrendering my life to him. Oh, praise God. Online. Just type in the comment, I'm surrendering my life to Jesus. We're gonna pray together. Wherever you are, pray. Heavenly Father, everybody with me. Heavenly Father, forgive my sins. Jesus, save me. Make me new. Fill me with the power of your Holy Spirit that I could walk in your love. That I could show your love that my life would be new and people could see you. Thank you for new life. I give you all of mine In Jesus name I pray. I need somebody to celebrate today. Somebody celebrate. Give God praise.