← Lipstick on the Rim
Lipstick on the Rim
How To Navigate Friendships As You Get Older: FOMO, Jealousy, And Changing Standards
00:36:21
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Winter fashion can be a lot. You're layering, you're freezing, and somehow nothing feels quite right. That was me last week. I had a last minute girls dinner and didn't plan an outfit ahead of time. Oh yeah. After absolutely ripping my closet apart, I managed to put together a semi decent look. It wasn't my finest work, but it was acceptable. I needed more than a sweater. At dinner, I joked that what I really could have used as a personal stylist in that moment, someone to step in and say, okay, here's what works. Here's how to make this look feel intentional. And. And that's when I remembered that Macy's has free personal stylists. They're experts at making winter dressing feel effortless, helping you layer properly, mix textures and build outfits that actually work for cold weather. Think cozy knits, great denim structured coats, leather warm neutrals and silhouettes that feel polished. Without trying too hard. They know the brands you already love and the ones you're excited to discover. And they help you finish every look with the right boot, handbag, accessories, jewelry, just everything just feels more put together. And with Valentine's Day right around the corner, Macy's personal size can help you and your partner create a cold weather date night look that actually makes you feel confident. Or they can even help you find the perfect gift for someone you love. Whether you're stuck styling winter outfits or figuring how to use those leftover gift cards, we all have them. Macy's personal stylists are there to help you discover your new go to cold weather look for free.
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In the fall of 1987, two boaters discovered the body of Sabrina Kidd floating in the Colorado River.
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Who would do this to this poor girl?
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To some, Sabrina was just another young female victim from the Las Vegas Strip. But to Lindo Marks, Sybrina's death would become a mission.
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This woman tells me that her niece is missing. You are our last resort.
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Linda would find herself in over her head.
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I just thought it was too dangerous. I could feel that it was going to have an impact on her for the rest of her life.
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Through her persistence, the hunt for Sabrina's killer was blown wide open.
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He said she never came home. I go, that motherfucker's lying. I was scared to death.
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He realized that I was on Twin.
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From Sony Music Entertainment and Orbit Media, this is killer story coming February 1st to the Binge. Listen, wherever you get your podcasts.
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Hey, I'm Molly Sims.
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And I'm Emisha Gormley. We're two girls obsessed with one Thing beauty.
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And by that we mean everything that makes you look and feel beautiful.
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We're calling on our favorite health experts, industry insiders and friends to answer.
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Answer all your beauty questions with a drink in hand.
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Definitely with a drink in hand.
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You're listening to Lipstick on the Rim with Molly Sims. Today's episode is a little something different.
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You get just us, no guest. We are the guests.
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We always talk about self care, skincare, wellness, and the latest and greatest products, which we love, as you know. But today we're zooming out just a bit from shifting friendships and parenting tweens. Oh, yes, there is a 13 in the 13 year old in the mix now. To how our bodies and beauty routines are evolving. And yes, the occasional existential crisis. This is just our unfiltered conversation about growing older, feeling better, giving fewer fucks in the best way possible. So grab your favorite drink, wine, coffee, martini, sleepy girl, mocktail, whatever is calling you today, and let's get into it. Okay, guys. We actually did an episode few months back about navigating adult friendships. If you haven't listened to it, find it wherever you listen to your podcast, Apple Spotify. It's with Danielle Bayer Jackson. And if you haven't listened to it yet, get it in the queue. It is packed with such smart, powerful takeaways and honestly, one of our favorites. We ask you guys kind of what you want to know, what you want to learn. And a lot of you guys have asked us, how do you navigate friendships differently than when you were younger as opposed to now?
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I think it is a really good question. So I think that one of the things that you realize as you get older is that you get more selective because you have less time. And to me, every time I choose to be away from my kids, it has to be for someone or something that I actually love and respect or enjoy.
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And I also think, you know, your friendships are different because you are different. Right. Like, and I think when I was younger, I was definitely more punitive. I wanted, you know, it to be my way or, you know, I think, I don't know. I think that's. I've learned to give a little bit more. I've learned to.
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C
You've always been a giver. I think that what it, what you have seen, I have seen you do. And I know I hold myself to this as well. We both are. I think we've gotten much better with it as we've gotten older is that there has to be a balance in friendships. And I think that that is one of the Things that sometimes when you're in your 20s and 30s, you don't really realize. You kind of think, oh, I'm just having fun with this person. But is that person draining you? Are you constantly there for them, Constantly giving them advice, but they're not asking you about you? And I think that's something that as you get older, you become more in.
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A
Tune with and also think you. You start and I listen to. I can. I was not good about setting boundaries as a younger woman. I have gotten much better with that. But it has taken me years and a lot of work to be able to set boundaries because I'm Southern and I'm always worried I'm going to make someone mad or I'm not going to show up in the way that, you know, I should show up or I constantly apologize. Like, I definitely think the friends that I have around me now, I don't have to do any of that. They're very accepting. You still call me on my shit. I still call you on your shit. But I don't know, it's. There's a comfortableness that I don't know that I always had when I was younger.
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I think for me, what I have found has happened is my standards for my friends have shifted. And as. And you know, I've talked about this openly before. I moved to a new town where I knew no one. I knew one person and I kind of barely knew her. I moved to a new town when I was 42 and I had to start from scratch. And I do think that, you know, is it harder to make friends as an adult? Yes, it is.
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Absolutely. I had to do it at 39.
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40, because in some ways when you're in that situation, you become forced to feeling like, oh, I have to become friends with my kids, parents, which is a complete false misnomer. You can be friendly with them, but you don't need to be their friends. You want to have a communication with them so that if things go awry, you can talk to them. But.
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But some do become your friends. You know, that's kind of been my kind of change. It's like I never knew these incredible women until I turned 40, 41 years old. And now I consider these women some of my best friends. Right. And they are there for me thick and then. And again, it's not where you meet someone.
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C
It's not. And I think what's so interesting, this is the thing I've noticed the most about a lot of my girlfriends and a lot of the friends that I've made in the last few years and friends that I'm still making. I think that like I never want to be the person that goes, I have enough friends, I don't need more friends because I do think that different people come into your life at different times. I just for me it's going to take a lot longer to let somebody in. Like I can be somebody that's very friendly and very outgoing and very chatty but, but I'm not opening up to just anyone. I'm not letting just anyone in. You kind of have to earn that space in my life. But I think that what I have found to be true for me is that I know myself so much better now and I am so much more comfortable in who I am that I find I attract like minded people who are similar in that way and those are, that's the community that I'm building. And I think that's such an interesting way to look at it because sometimes like we think, oh, like I just want to go out to dinner and have fun with people. But who are you going to pick up the phone and call? I mean I obviously have you and you and I talk every single day. But I think there's other people in your.
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I'm just joking.
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Yes, but I think there are other people that you, you want to be able to, to have someone that you can bounce something off of that doesn't feel like you're competing against, you're competing against.
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And I love what you said about don't be closed off. You might meet your best friend at 50, you might meet another friend at 60, you might meet a whole slew of women that you never knew existed that have a real impact on your life and your family's life because you'.
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In that point in time.
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I just loved my 50th birthday for so many reasons. But I what I loved about it the most was in Morocco was fabulous. It really was, was that I had friends from Europe, I had friends from all over Prague. Like I had so many incredible people, men and women who had made a profound impact on my life whether it was 10 years ago yesterday or 25 years ago, before it was an era tour. But I love that do meet certain times and certain friendships do end not because they weren't great, just because things change. Like I love this question that Rosie wrote. How do you maintain close friendships when everyone is so busy with work, with kids, with life. What you deposit in the bank, you know, you gotta make time, you've gotta schedule it, you've gotta Calendar it. Cause you're gonna wake up one day and no one's gonna be around. So you do have to, you do have to make an effort. You do have to. Maybe on the days you don't want to again, you know, navigating family will always come first for me. And I think you same. But I do put effort into my friends. I call them, I check on them.
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Totally.
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And the ones who are like, you know, really receptive of like, oh my God, I haven't heard from you. And then the ones who are like, you know, well, she's gone. It's like, that's not it. I'm just, I just get busy.
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I. My biggest pet peeve in friendships is this because I actually have friends who I've had for 20 plus years that I can go six months not talking to them and not seeing them.
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The best.
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And when I pick up the phone and I hear their voice or I get a random facetime, I'm like, yes, I love you. Like, it's just like, you're right back to where you were. I hate the people who are like, well, I texted her last, so I'm not going to. It's like dating. I'm like, I'm not. We're friends. Like, if that's really that you're like clocking who texted who last? I am a terrible texter. Terrible. I have gotten worse. I have 441 unread text messages. If I don't respond to something right away, it gets lost in the shuffle and I forget about it. And I'll remember it when I go to the bathroom to pee at 2 in the morning. But I'm not obviously responding back then. And I think that's like what friendship means to me now in life is like, you have to understand. Yes, I'm busy, you're busy. We're all busy. We're all trying to do the best that we can, keep our head above water. But you make time, especially when someone needs you. Of course. I think that when I know a friend is in crisis, I am there. I will drop everything, and I am there. But I might not be the person that wants to go out every single night of the week.
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Right?
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Me neither. Can we talk about how January always makes you want to reset everything? I go from reorganizing my drawers, ordering new workout sets, buying a new planner, you name it, and then just a few weeks in it set suddenly feels impossible to keep all these new habits. But one thing I do love about a new year reset is choosing a wellness routine that actually makes me feel better day to day. And for me, Nutrafol has been one of those things. It's not flashy, it's not a quick fix. It's just consistent. And honestly, I feel like that's what makes the biggest difference. I started taking Nutrafol because I wanted to be more intentional about my hair health, especially during seasons where stress is high, life is busy, and your hair just isn't giving what it used to. I've been taking Nutrafol for over a year and I've genuinely noticed less shedding and more visible th and it's just a confidence booster. It's also become this little daily I'm taking care of myself moment, which I do love. Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand that's trusted by over one and a half million people. Nutrafol's hair growth supplements are peer reviewed, NSF certified for sport and clinically tested to measure improvements in growth, quality and strength. See thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months of neutral. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping. When you get to Nutrafol.com and enter the code lipstick find out why Nutrafol is the best selling hair growth supplement brand@nutrafol.com spelled n u t r a f o l.com promo code lipstick. That's nutrafol.com promo code lipstick. Okay, I don't know who needs to hear this, but the I'll start holiday shopping later era is over. This is your sign to start now. And honestly, Jenny Bird has made it so painless that it doesn't even feel like holiday shopping. We've been obsessed with Jenny Bird for a while now. Their pieces are modern, elevated, and somehow work with everything. But heading into the holidays, they've become my secret weapon. Because here's the thing. Everyone loves good jewelry and everyone loves jewelry that makes them feel instantly cooler. Their collection is full of those, guaranteed, yes gifts. The bracelets, the earrings, the monogram necklaces. It's all so beautifully designed and wearable. These are the pieces people put on once and never take off. Plus, they ship fast. Hello, last minute shoppers. I see you. And the packaging is so thoughtful, you don't even need to wrap it. It's like gifting that literally takes zero emotional energy. That might be the greatest holiday miracle of all. And if you're shopping for someone who's a little harder to pin down, Your chic coworker, your best friend who's already has everything. Your sister who somehow has better taste than you. This is it. Put simply, Jenny Bird is the gift that never misses. You can get 20% off your first order with Jenny Bird by visiting jenny-bird.com and using code lipstick at checkout.
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How do you handle jealousy or comparison in friendships, especially in a social media world? Listen, it's tricky if you're not tagged in the picture, someone gets jealous. I mean, fomo.
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Fomo.
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I mean, you know, I, I get it, right? But you're never going to make everyone happy all the time. And if.
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And not everyone can be invited to everything.
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Not everyone can be invited to everything. And that's okay. It doesn't mean they don't have a place in your life and you don't have a place in their life.
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I actually think there's a great lesson to be learned and taught here. And I've, I've seen it happen. I think sometimes people feel this need to protect other people of like, oh, I'm not going to say I'm going to do this with so and so because they think that. Well, then, then it's like weird. But then ult, ultimately someone finds out, right? Like, oh, I didn't. Someone saw that person in town having dinner. Oh, I didn't. You weren't at that dinner. I thought you'd be at that dinner. People say shitty things all the time because they don't even really think about it. And I always think honesty is the best policy.
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Totally.
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Like, be straightforward. Be like, I'm going away with this person or I'm gonna go out to dinner with this person tonight. Or I'm. Have I had lunch with like when people start to try to hide things. I have seen it happen so many times I can't even count. And I think it always comes from like a place of good intention. Like, I don't want to hurt that person's feelings because they weren't included in this. And really that's normal because it goes back to what I just said. Not everyone is going to be included in everything. And that's okay.
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I gave my friend advice a couple of years ago. A family felt left die out. I'm like, you're not going to die on a sword on this. Like, she didn't mean to leave you out, right? Like there's. We're dealing with COVID Dealing with another family. Like, yeah, I mean, I think for me friendships now they look a little different. I think I really know the moms who are happy for me. I really know the moms who have my back. I know the moms who help me.
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Yeah.
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I know the moms who don't. I know the moms who lie. I know the moms who say they're not doing something when they are. And just because I don't ever say anything, it doesn't mean that I don't know. We all know.
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Everybody always finds out.
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Everybody always finds out. And what you realize is they don't realize how bad that is.
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It's terrible. And I really think that one thing to keep in mind is that how we treat our friends and how we treat, even not our friends, the people that we might not like our kids, that is, we're modeling behavior for them in how to treat their friends, how to talk to their friends, what to accept and not accept in a friendship. Like, we are modeling that behavior. And I think it's so important as we talk about our kids, as we say we have tweens and teens in the house. Like, I see it with Maeve, who's my oldest, she's 11, and she's navigating friends, and she's about to. You know, she's starting middle school, merging all these different schools into one. And how she will react in social situations into friendship dilemmas is going to be a reflection on how I. I react to things. Correct.
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And as we know, Elisa Pressman will tell you, try not to get involved.
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I know. Let them figure it out.
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Let them figure. And that's really hard because, listen, you.
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Know, Mama Bear wants to come out.
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Mama Bear wants to always come out. But sometimes you have to let them navigate it. Cause that's how they learn. I think that was what was great about camp for them this summer, is they have to learn to navigate those friendships the same way you do at 10, 11, 12 is the same way you still do at 50. You just know how to do it a little bit more.
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C
You said you've set boundaries. What's a boundary that you've learned to set in your friendships that's improved your peace?
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A
I have to do what's right for myself and my family. It doesn't. I have to put that first. I try to help everyone, but at the same time, there is a boundary of what I'm doing for him and what that looks like, or her or Gray. I think, you know, for me, this whole Nepo baby, you know, I'm always so conscious, you know, that. That, you know, because we are who we are and because we're in the public eye. Like I always worry like oh, good or bad, it will rub off on them. Right. So it's, that's a struggle and I think that's just my own worries of like I don't want them to, you know, get something because of who we are.
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Right.
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You know, so it's, I think I struggle a little bit with that. But I've also set up boundaries to be like, no, I'm going to do what's right for Brooks or for Scarlet or for Gray. It's not about, you know, it's just how I look at things and how I go into things. I don't want to always go into something like negative thinking. Oh my God. You know what I mean? Does that make sense?
- [19:28]
C
Yeah, I mean for me my boundaries are, it's different because I think where I look at things is I've. At 46, I can confidently say I know myself and it's, I have been an eternal people pleaser and I think that that's been what I've done in friendships is that I always aim to please people and sometimes at the expense of my own peace of mind. And now it's like I don't need everybody to like me. I don't care if you don't like me. And I think that's the boundary that I've set, especially having moved to a new town and met new people. It is important for me to have that boundary of like if you're not going to be kind to me or you're not going to be inclusive of me, I don't, I have no issues with that. I just know that my boundary is I will not try more than you try. I'll meet you halfway. And I think that has been the most eye opening boundary because you actually really see who shows up for you. Oh yeah, you really do. And when you do that. I had this conversation with a girlfriend and she was like, it's very funny. Like we do things on social media, our jobs are on social media and it's very funny to see who like chooses to out of your friends who supports you. We go back to the question of jealousy. Who likes your posts, who comments like who, who's there to who's your cheerleader, who's your showing to you for you. And I really think that sometimes like I see that and it's those same people that are like going to ask you for a favor. Right. And, but they're not going to show up to support you. But they will when it's beneficial to them. And I think that that's something that, like, I have seen and, and I think it's a them issue, not a you issue. But it's really hard to not take it personally. Personally. But you have to set that boundary to understand that it really has nothing to do with you. I have been really intentional lately about getting more fiber and protein into my everyday meals. And honestly, the easiest change I've made is swapping in Herobread. It's such a simple upgrade to my usual bagel sandwiches, avocado toast, tacos, even our taco Tuesday and burger night rituals. Little shifts like that actually help me hit my goals without feeling like I've given something up. Herobread is soft, fluffy and genuinely delicious. Their bagels are amazing. I've been loving them for breakfast because they have 19 grams of protein and still taste like the real deal. Most products have 0 to 5 gram net carbs per serving, 0 grams of sugar. And they're high in fiber, which makes fitting things into my macros so much easier. They have got everything. Sliced bread, tortillas, buns, bagels, plus these small batch drops people go crazy for. I am eyeing the Hero buttermilk biscuit with 1 gram net carb and 2 grams net carb. Hero Croissant. HeroBred is offering 10% off your order. Go to Hero Co and use lipstick at checkout. That's lipstickheroh e r o dot co.
- [22:19]
B
In the fall of 1987, two boaters discovered the body of Sabrina. Kidding. Floating in the Colorado River.
- [22:27]
A
Who would do this to this poor girl?
- [22:29]
B
To some, Sybrina was just another young female victim from the Las Vegas strip. But to lindo marks, Sybrina's death would become a mission.
- [22:39]
A
This woman tells me that her niece is missing. You are our last resort.
- [22:45]
B
Linda would find herself in over her head.
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C
I just thought it was too dangerous. I could feel that it was going to have an impact on her for the rest of her life.
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B
Through her persistence, the hunt for Sabrina's killer was blown wide open.
- [23:01]
C
He said she never came home. I go, that motherfucker's lying. I was scared to death.
- [23:05]
A
He realized that I was on twin.
- [23:07]
B
From Sony Music Entertainment and Orbit Media, this is killer story coming February 1st to the Binge. Listen, wherever you get your podcasts.
- [23:22]
A
What'S the biggest shift from parenting littles to parenting teens? You know the saying. What is it? Small.
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C
Small kids, small problems. Big problems.
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A
Big problems, Big kids, big problems. I think, I think we're, we're getting into the. Okay, here we go.
- [23:38]
C
I really think. And I really, I, I say this not because there are kids. And I really, really. This, this past summer has been eye opening for me. Even just watching, you know, I don't get to spend as much time with your kids year round this summer, though. We spend a lot of time together. And I think the biggest shift, and I don't think it's a shift, I think it's actually a reflection, is how we parented them as little kids is reflected in how they are growing into the little people that they are becoming. So I do think it goes and works hand in hand. And I look at Brooksie, I look at Scarlett, I look at Gray, I look at Maeve, Grace, Lily, and we parented them. I will say it truly confidently. We really instilled in them manners, grace, kindness, and we parented. We gave that a priority as parents to them early on and we showed up and it's, and we still, it is harder. We do have to manage life and work.
- [24:51]
A
And, you know, we, we spoke to Mariana about, you know, we are of that sandwich generation, right? Your parents are, you know, dealing with their own health issues. You're trying to help your parents, whether they're alive or not with us anymore. You know, people get sick and, you know, you get spread thin. You just have to really. I always say this to, like, almost like, account. It's like you work hard, you play hard, right? So when you're, when you're away, you're focused and you're on. But when you're at home, I'm at home. I'm with them.
- [25:27]
C
I'm talking to you.
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A
No, I'm talking. How do you prioritize yourself without guilt? I don't think that. I mean, there's always gonna be guilt. It's, it's, it's just. There's always some sort of guilt. You're either working too much or it's.
- [25:42]
C
My kids make me feel guilty. And I'm around 99% of the time, it's happening literally. Like, my kids make me feel guilty. They're like, oh, you're going away again? I'm like, I haven't left your side. Literally not left your side in three months.
- [25:58]
A
No, I know. Gray's like, you're leaving for the day. I'm like, it's a day.
- [26:02]
C
Do you know what it would be like for? And I've said this. I actually had this conversation with them because they made me feel so bad. And I go, I am not leaving at 7 o' clock in the morning to hop on A train to go into New York City and coming home at 7pm at night. Which by the way, I respect. And a lot of women do it. The most women do it and they have to do it. And it's hard work. And they're. They come home and their day just starts all over again when they walk in that door. But I'm not that mom. I'm. I'm there. I. You're lucky that I get to work from home. That's my job is to be at home. And that is never enough. So they love to guilt you.
- [26:36]
A
How do you show up for your kids and for yourself on days when you feel like there's nothing left to give? Get your iPads out, kids.
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C
Yeah, literally. But I will say that the days that I feel like my tank is empty, I either. And I think we can both confidently say as we both have partners that are wonderful and they can tell when we're tapped out and they step in. So I will say shout out to Stuber and to Mike that they know when need it.
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A
And Selma and Ruti.
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C
And Selma and Ruti. Because it takes a village.
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A
I actually thought takes a village.
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C
Khloe Kardashian said something the other day that I thought was so good. And I'm not, I'm going to get the quote wrong. But it was like, stop shaming moms when they say they have a nanny. It takes a village. Whether you call that person a nanny, a mother in law, a mother, a sister, a friend, a neighbor, a babysitter, or whatever your terminology is. We. I have to have a nanny because my mother passed away. I have zero family around me.
- [27:38]
A
Zero.
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C
And I can't leave my kids at home by themselves when I need to do things. So I don't know what to do. But I do think that there is a lot of shaming that happens with people.
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A
There's so much shame.
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C
And it's like, no, it's. I have no other option. I don't have a family member that can just pop over and take care of my kids for me.
- [27:59]
A
How do you handle mom comparison? Especially in a world curated by social media? Motherhood. All moms are different.
- [28:07]
C
I love. I think that you have done such a great job of making light of that. Like one of my favorite videos you did was you were like watching a video of like a mom. Like, I hate it. I freaking hated watching those bento box lunches.
- [28:21]
A
Oh my God.
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C
And it was like, look at my like beautiful. So star strawberry. And by the way, I did it.
- [28:27]
A
I did it into a spiral rainbow.
- [28:30]
C
Like, there would be these healthy, like, people would make, like, sushi rolls for their kids at home from scratch. And I'm like, I heat a bagel up in the microwave and wrap it in tin foil and slap it in my kids lunch. Literally, that's their lunch every single day. But you did a social media post where you were like, putting like a whole box of Nutella in. You were like, putting like, like crap in, right? And I'm like, yes, this is it. Because I think that you do a really fun job of making light of it, because there are the moms on there that make you feel like, absolute, that you are like, you are not doing everything wrong. You're never gonna have there.
- [29:08]
A
Do you remember when I got so much. I don't know what paparazzi. I. I had him in the Baby Bjorn. And I don't know if it was too low, too high, but you would have thought, oh, yeah, I was gonna drop that baby. I was gonna drop that baby. I mean, hopefully I didn't. I don't think I ever did. I mean, he did roll off the bed of my mom's. Of my mom's bed in Kentucky. I. I thought he had a concussion, but.
- [29:31]
C
Oh, I mean, Lily. I took Lily to the ER when she fell off onto her head when I was on a zoom.
- [29:35]
A
You were on a zoom for Sarah Bell. I.
- [29:37]
C
Literally, all I hear is boom. And I look over and she had fully landed on her head.
- [29:41]
A
Yeah, it was awful. Yeah. Scarlett ran into the fireplace.
- [29:47]
C
Do you ever worry about who you'll be once your kids are grown and out of the house?
- [29:50]
A
I'm be horrible.
- [29:51]
C
I think you're just going to be moving right up next to them.
- [29:53]
A
Oh, yeah, no, I'm going to. I'm going to wherever they go to college. I'm going to get an apartment. I'll live right next door. Come see me anytime.
- [30:01]
C
Anytime.
- [30:02]
A
I can't wait. I think it's going to be so fun. They're going to love me. I'm going to love all their girlfriends and boyfriends. And if I don't, I'm going to.
- [30:12]
C
I'm going to pretend that I do.
- [30:14]
A
But, yes, I. I mean, I cannot wait to live next to Brooks's fraternity.
- [30:20]
C
Oh, my God. Oh, poor Brooks. Brooksie. Aunt Emma, she's gonna help you out there. We'll fix that. Biggest piece of advice you want mothers listening to, Walk away with, be a team player.
- [30:33]
A
You know, be on the side of the mom that's on your side. Help that mom share information, you know, help her get the win, help her kids get the win. I really. It's my biggest pet peeve. And again, you getting into college. What college? What middle school? What high school? What. You know, it's.
- [30:54]
C
I really have an issue with the gatekeeping that a lot of parents do. I am an open book. You're an open book. I also think one piece of advice I have for mothers is don't judge. Oh, don't judge. I really, really hate, hate, hate other moms that judge one another. And listen, like, we all judge. I judge, too. I get it. But I really try to have empathy in understanding other people's situations because ultimately, like, you never know what another family is going through, what they're dealing with, how they're dealing with it. It's really easy to parent other people's kids and think that you could do it better, but you don't know their situation. You don't know their situation.
- [31:36]
A
Also a piece of advice. This is not gonna be a popular one, but know who your kids friends are.
- [31:45]
C
Oh, I'm. It's why I drive every carpool. I love to drive a carpool.
- [31:50]
A
Your friends, your kids, friends will have more of an impact than you can ever believe. And know who they are. Try to know the families. I know it changes once they get at a certain, you know, grade level. But try your best to know who those people are around. I agree them, because that will have an effect on them, good and bad. It shapes them.
- [32:09]
C
It shapes. All right, let's pivot to beauty and body, because I think that we look pretty good for our age. I.
- [32:24]
A
What am I going to do? I'm going to do everything.
- [32:26]
C
We're going to have a twofer on all of our facial and body treatments over the next five years. Levine.
- [32:32]
A
Levine. I'm. I'm coming for you. Two beds right by next to each other. Do you feel more or less confident now than you did in your 20s and 30s? I feel way more confident. Same same when I was the height of my career.
- [32:44]
C
I feel so much more confident today than I did except about five years ago.
- [32:48]
A
My neck is a little like, oh, I don't know. Like, I just want to, like, put tape up there and just, like, pull it back.
- [32:54]
C
I do. I think that the one most beautiful thing about getting older is really learning who you are, what works for you, what doesn't work for you. And I also.
- [33:04]
A
I think that's what's been so great also about your career and how it's changed. You've helped so many women be like, okay, girl, we got this. We're gonna put you in this. You're gonna do this. We get like, we've been great about that.
- [33:15]
C
I love a DM that I get that's like, hey, I've got a wedding in Nantucket in October. What do I wear? I love.
- [33:21]
A
Yes, this is what you're wearing.
- [33:22]
C
And then they're like, oh, this is perfect. I love it. Like, I. You know me. I. I love to window shop. I love to online shop. I love making other women feel better about themselves.
- [33:34]
A
I. I love it. I mean, I help people with their skin all day long. I mean, Dr. Bakshanda, I'm like, just.
- [33:38]
C
You've done a. Built a whole brand around woman.
- [33:42]
A
Yeah. Well, I think that's what this podcast is all about. It's not gatekeeping.
- [33:46]
C
It's.
- [33:46]
A
It's about sharing information. It's about actually helping one another. And I will tell you, and I believe in karma, if you help someone's child or so, it will come back to you. It may not look like it will, but it will.
- [34:02]
C
Let's talk about body image. What's helped you embrace your body as it's changed?
- [34:09]
A
I mean, I think for me, it's a little bit of a div. You know, it's. I will always have, you know, body issues just because of, you know, the industry.
- [34:18]
C
What was it Hallie always says? The asylum that you were raised in?
- [34:21]
A
Yeah, the asylum that I was raised in. But I've definitely gotten more comfortable, I think, you know, I'm not in a career where, you know, what I look like is just the end all. Be all of everything of my life like it used to be. I love my company. I love wise beauty. I still love, you know, getting to do TV and film, and I, you know, but I don't have that same pressure. Is there pressure? Of course there's pressure, but they'll never be the pressure that I had for so many years thinking I wasn't good enough or I could do this if I. If I only, you know, looked like that, or if I only could do this. I don't, you know, that is. That is behind me, and I. I'm glad it is. But on the flip side, I have a lot of resilience from it, and not a lot of things will ruffle my feathers. And I've gotten much better with my body image and accepting it.
- [35:15]
C
I think, for me, it's been getting healthier. I feel like I'm actually healthier than I was when I was 30 because I am smarter about what works for me and what doesn't work for me. And I. I did the proper work with a doctor. I exercise. And I'm going to just say this and it'll probably be very unpopular, but that's totally fine. I think it's okay to want to lose weight. I think it's okay to want to look your best because.
- [35:46]
A
And feel your best.
- [35:47]
C
And feel your best because I like to get dressed. I like to put clothes on. I don't want to.
- [35:51]
A
We didn't know that. I'm kidding.
- [35:54]
C
I like.
- [35:55]
A
She likes to spend money.
- [35:56]
C
I like. I like to have an outfit that makes me feel great. And that is something. That part of it, I think is you. You learn what works for you. But also we have this thing where it's like, oh, like, you know, and I love. I love what's happened. I think that the younger generation has embraced curves in a way. Like, when we were younger, it was waif and, like, heroin chic and skinny was the best. And, like, I do look at, like, horrible my niece now, and she's, you know, 14, and they don't look at their bodies the way that we did. And whether that is the Kardashian generation that, like, kicked that body positivity off of, like, having, you know, curves, I don't know what. It's the only thing I can attribute it to because it definitely feels like that that started to swing the pendulum in the other direction. But it is interesting to me because I feel like we never had that. Like, we were always like, what diet do we go on? How do we lose weight? I don't see that.
- [37:04]
A
I think I was on a diet for 25. I think I was on a diet for, like, 25 years.
- [37:08]
C
But I do think it's nice to. To sort of feel confident in your skin because it reflects so much in other everything else. And for me, it's important that my kids hear me talk about my body positively because I do have three girls. I love it.
- [37:21]
A
I love these episodes.
- [37:22]
C
I mean, me too.
- [37:23]
A
We're gonna do more of these episodes. You know, we love getting to. For you guys to get to know us and for everyone listening at home. Thank you so much for listening to us every week, week after week. You are truly the reason we are here, and we get to do this. If there are topics, guests, questions you want us to cover, DM us whether it's on our personal Instagram, on lipstick on the rim, we will cover it. We will try a lot of our topics. Whether it's sleep or we're listening, we're listening and you know we'll, we'll try to cater and and these episodes are about for you.
- [38:00]
C
That is the whole point of this show is to keep giving you the content that you need. Getting access to the people you would like to get access to. So tell us and listen and always.
- [38:13]
A
Don'T forget to rate and review. Follow us on Instagram Tik Tok at Lipstick on the Rim. Make sure and subscribe to mine and images substack and also you guys check out our full length video episodes over on YouTube. That's a wrap.
- [38:26]
C
That's a wrap.
- [38:27]
A
That's a wrap.
- [38:27]
C
We're pretty good. Living our best lives and 50s love it.
- [38:31]
A
You see you next time.
- [38:32]
C
Love you guys.
- [38:34]
A
Thanks for listening to Lipstick on the Rim with Molly Sims and my Ride or Die Emisha Gormley. We are so excited to bring you guys along on this journey with us. You can find us on Instagram and TikTok at Lipstick on the Rim and Amali Baby Sims. Or you can go to my blog where you can dive just a little bit deeper into my favorite products, trends and more@mollysims.subsack.com and don't forget to check out our video episodes on my YouTube channel, Molly Sims. This podcast is production with Sony Music. I wanted to give a special thanks to my team, Rosie Cummings, Ken Orion, Sophie Kevorkian and everyone at Sony Music. Don't forget to listen and follow wherever you get your podcast so you never miss out on the fun. Sam.