Hi Friends, just ignore that audio at the top. We’ll talk about that later.

I got a lot of feedback from this Tweet. Mostly versions of “same” and “I feel attacked.”

I had been putting off asking someone to fix something. This would have made me anxious pre-COVID, but there is something about spending 11 months in isolation that makes social interactions even more intense and makes motivation super hard to locate.

And that is okay.

It’s understandable if right now, accomplishing one little thing per day is all you can handle. I applaud you for that.

But there are some things that we really want to do. We know those things will make us feel better, will move us towards a future we want, will help us to feel more grounded and joyful.

I’ve been getting lots of questions lately about motivation: how to find it and how to maintain it. What should we do when conjuring motivation feels totally impossible?

Well, I think we stop trying.

Forget motivation.

If I am searching for that feeling of wanting to eat kale or write the next chapter of my new book or get on the yoga mat, I almost never find it.

What I can look to instead is commitment.

Commitment = purpose + discipline + scheduling

* Purpose gets to the WHY of what I’m doing. Is it because I want to have that dopamine rush after a work out? Is it because I want to spend time being creative?

* Discipline is about me obeying myself, and keeping the promises I make to myself. I deserve to take this time to do something that is meaningful to me. I remember that self-care isn’t selfish, it’s burn-out prevention.

* Schedule means that I write it down, and I set reminders. I don’t do something because I feel like doing it, I do something because my Google Calendar says it’s time to do it.

After I’ve eaten the kale or written the chapter or I’m lying on my yoga mat after a practice - I always feel amazing. That is the “I’m so glad I did that” feeling that I’m working for. That is when we get the reinforcement of our WHY. And when we make that a habit, it gets easier to stick with, because we get that physical and/or emotional reward. And then eventually, maybe some days we really are motivated.

We are still living in a world that feels overwhelming and painful a lot of the time. It’s totally understandable if you do not have a lot of extra energy lying around with which to learn a new language or clean out the garage or start painting watercolors. But if those things bring you a spark of joy, then commit to them. Don’t wait for motivation. Pick a time, several days a week, and create space for that in your life. Even if it’s just 10 minutes, that matters. It adds up.

This is something you have some control over, in a reality where that feels more rare than ever.

You can choose where to spend your energy.

What I read and it made me laugh

God I Feel Modern Tonight By Catherine CohenI’m finding quarantine to be an amazing timeto revert to the basest, most vileversion of myself I’ve worked yearsto outgrow

What looks cool

The Ashmolean is the University of Oxford's museum of art and archaeology, and it was founded in 1683. They are offering all kinds of free programs and collections online, everything from life and death in ancient Athens to a discussion about the importance of embroidery and textiles. (I don’t think my needlepoint with swearing is quite museum-worthy, but it’s good to have dreams.)

What I’m cooking

Crispy Bean Cakes with Harissa, Lemon, and Herbs

I made this last night and it was so tasty. In fact, I misread the recipe, made it entirely wrong, and it was still delicious! Easy to mess around with and create your own version, if, like myself, you happen to be “adventurous in the kitchen.” (That is an actual quote from my mother-in-law, one of the first times she saw me cook. I've decided it was a compliment.)

What I recorded

A new episode of my podcast is up! This one is all about my pup, Olive. When we rescued her, she was malnourished, traumatized, and fear-aggressive.

Basically, a nightmare.

This a story about how things can change. It can seem so dark and hopeless - but things actually can get better. This is a story about how everyone is capable of healing.

Listen here or find Embrace Your Weird on Apple Podcasts, Sticher, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

And now we get to the secret recording at the top of this page!

I don’t mean to be a jerk - but I can’t really tell you what this is for. It’s one of those things where it might be a thing, or it might not, so I’m not sharing about it yet.

Many of you know that I work with combat Veterans. So for this secret thing, I was asked to record a four-minute audio piece about my understanding of my identity as a civilian. I had never thought of myself as a civilian until I was around a bunch of Veterans, and suddenly that definition became the most important thing about me. I’ve never told these stories publicly before, and - shocker - they contain profanity and a story about a graphic event. So heads up.

Thank you for reading, friends. Thank you for being part of our little community here. I am so grateful for you.

Much love,

~Lisa

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