April 1991 Slumber Party: Landlines, Rompers & Wild Yam Cream

Summary

Podcast Summary: Listen To Sassy: Life In The 90s
Episode: April 1991 Slumber Party: Landlines, Rompers & Wild Yam Cream
Release Date: August 12, 2025

Join hosts Tara Ariano, Pamela Ribon, and David T. Cole as they take a nostalgic journey back to April 1991, exploring the vibrant and eclectic world of Sassy magazine. This episode, titled "April 1991 Slumber Party: Landlines, Rompers & Wild Yam Cream," delves into family dynamics, quirky quizzes, and engaging listener stories that capture the essence of Gen-X teenage life in the early '90s.

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1. Setting the Scene: Family Dynamics in 1991

The episode opens with Tara reminiscing about her school days and the supportive yet quirky family environment she grew up in. She humorously highlights the importance of parental involvement in education:

Tara (00:01): "Does this look like a kid who became a straight A student? Someone who did his homework on time, was valedictorian? No, this was me."

David adds a playful twist by portraying Tara's father as an "international assassin for hire," setting up a humorous and exaggerated family scenario:

Dave (00:29): "Thanks. Anthony Edwards."

This segment paints a vivid picture of family game nights, sibling dynamics, and the unconventional idea of a family vacation amidst the backdrop of the World Economic Summit.

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2. The "Are You Parent Tolerant?" Quiz

A central feature of this episode is the discussion of Sassy's popular quiz, "Are You Parent Tolerant?" Tara and Dave delve into their quiz results, reflecting on their relationships with their parents.

Tara (02:21): "So much like being heat tolerant, are you parent tolerant? Can you be around your parents for a while and not die?"

Both Tara and Dave score an 18, indicating a high level of parent tolerance. Tara humorously describes a typical scenario where her father brags about her SAT scores:

Tara (03:00): "Every time there's a family occasion, dad brags to everyone about your SAT scores. First of all, we didn't have SAT scores in Canada."

They discuss the quiz questions, such as handling parental pride and involvement in their personal lives, highlighting generational tensions and the desire for autonomy.

Tara (03:26): "How do you react to this? The options are A, when you're alone, you politely ask them not to do this... C, scream, dad, you're embarrassing me. And stomp out the door..."

Both hosts resonate with the more extreme options, reflecting a common teenage desire to rebel against overbearing parental behavior.

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3. Listener Calls: Real-Life Stories and Advice

A. Massage Hygiene Concerns

Charlotte shares her concerns about poor hygiene practices in massage clinics, emphasizing the importance of cleanliness to prevent the spread of biohazards.

Charlotte (09:51): "If you lie down and you sense a previous client's fluids are present... you should go to the desk and advocate on behalf of the therapist to somebody in management."

Tara and Dave commend Charlotte for her vigilance and stress the significance of speaking up to ensure safe practices.

B. Gross Discoveries in Food

Marit recounts a horrifying experience of finding a used band-aid in her French dip sandwich, highlighting the negligence in kitchen hygiene.

Marit (27:33): "I picked up a fry and buried amongst the fries was a used cooked band aid... I have to say, do not do that. Yuck. Terrible."

The hosts express their disgust and share similar anecdotes, reinforcing the episode's theme of advocating for better safety standards.

C. Fashion Faux Pas: Rompers and Jumpsuits

Kelly from Rhode Island discusses her high school days spent in rompers and overalls, reflecting on the fashion trends of the early '90s.

Kelly (15:13): "I was so sassy, like walking around the drugstore with just being cute little 16 year old."

Tara and Dave humorously critique the practicality of rompers and jumpsuits, debating their safety and functionality in various scenarios.

Tara (16:23): "If you have a piece of clothing you can't escape from within five seconds, then you shouldn't be wearing it. It's a health hazard."

D. Health Tips: Folic Acid for Strong Nails

Nicole from Albuquerque shares her success with taking folic acid to strengthen her peeling and thin fingernails.

Nicole (18:53): "Ever since I started taking a daily dose of 800 micrograms of folic acid, they've been just really strong and nice."

The hosts discuss the benefits and potential considerations of folic acid supplementation, blending personal anecdotes with practical advice.

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4. Host Interactions and Humor

Throughout the episode, Tara and Dave engage in light-hearted banter, sharing personal stories and playful critiques of each other's experiences. Their chemistry adds a warm and relatable tone, making the discussions both entertaining and insightful.

Tara (14:05): "What are you doing here, ladies?"

Dave (14:43): "No, because Pam is that kind of person."

Their humorous takes on everyday situations, from dealing with awkward phone calls to navigating fashion choices, resonate with listeners who remember similar experiences from the '90s.

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5. Teasers for the Next Episode

As the episode wraps up, Tara and Dave provide a sneak peek into the next installment, promising more engaging content on topics like friendships, school polls, and contemporary issues faced by the next generation.

Dave (30:00): "Next time we will be opening up the May 1991 issue and discussing its teen life topics... We'll learn what he said about hypothetical invisibility."

They also promote supporting the podcast through subscriptions, highlighting perks like ad-free episodes and exclusive content.

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Notable Quotes

• Tara (00:01): "Does this look like a kid who became a straight A student? ... So what's the point? Get involved. Check your kids homework. That's your assignment."

• Dave (02:37): "Sure. I sort of went back and forth between trying to answer this in my current mindset versus 1991."

• Tara (03:26): "The options are A, when you're alone, you politely ask them not to do this... C, scream, dad, you're embarrassing me. And stomp out the door."

• Marit (27:33): "I picked up a fry and buried amongst the fries was a used cooked band aid."

• Tara (16:23): "If you have a piece of clothing you can't escape from within five seconds, then you shouldn't be wearing it. It's a health hazard."

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Conclusion
This episode of Listen To Sassy: Life In The 90s masterfully blends humor, nostalgia, and real-life stories to paint a vivid picture of teenage life in April 1991. From navigating family dynamics and enduring questionable fashion choices to handling unexpected gross-ups in everyday situations, Tara, Dave, and Pam offer listeners both laughs and poignant reflections on growing up in the '90s. Whether you're reminiscing about your own experiences or discovering them for the first time, this episode is a delightful trip down memory lane.

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For more episodes and additional content, visit listentosassy.com and join the community on Discord. Support the podcast for exclusive perks and stay tuned for more nostalgic deep dives!

Transcript

[Tara]

Does this look like a kid who became a straight A student? Someone who did his homework on time, was valedictorian? No, this was me. I needed a little help with schoolwork, but I was lucky. I had parents who cared enough to check my homework and they weren't scared off by geometry. Well, maybe a little. So what's the point? Get involved. Check your kids homework. That's your assignment. You can do it.

[Dave]

Thanks. Anthony Edwards.

[Tara]

It is April 1991. Your mom is driving you nuts. Your dad, who of course is an international assassin for hire, is visiting and also driving you nuts. He keeps trying to teach you how to garage somebody together. They insist you stick around tonight for family game night with your irksome brother visiting from college, whose name is something, no doubt. Also your dog, Magnum PI who you haven't talked about in a while. What a nice reminder of all your family members during game night, dad announces you're all going on a family vacation, which sounds terrible. A long weekend with this motley crew. No, thank you. And why are you spending your vacation here in town? On the sixth floor of the hotel with a clean line of sight across the street from the Houlton Hotel, host to the world Economic Summit this weekend. Weird. Anyways, it's time to listen to Sassy.

[Dave]

While the diarist's dad is the Jackal.

[Tara]

Maybe seems that way. We. We've already read in the diaries killed at least two or three people. Yeah, he's a man of action. Yeah, they probably had a curious where this is gonna go. Where's Pam?

[Dave]

Yeah, Pam's not here. Pam had a family emergency. We are thinking of her. We miss her. Of course, we hope to welcome her back as soon as possible, but for now, it's just you and me.

[Tara]

All right, well, let's just get right into it. The first segment, as always with our slumber parties, is talking about this month's quiz, which was are you parent tolerant?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Tara]

So much like being heat tolerant, are you parent tolerant? Can you be around your parents for a while and not die?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Tara]

There's some questions here that I think need more options, but let's want to start with scores and then go to questions today.

[Dave]

Sure. I sort of went back and forth between trying to answer this in my current mindset versus 1991.

[Tara]

I don't think mine's changed that much.

[Dave]

I mean, mine may not have either. Although, you know, I was still living with them then. That was different. I haven't lived in the same country with them for quite some time, but I got an 18 which is the Almost the highest end of middle.

[Tara]

Well, Tara, I gotta tell you, I also scored 18. Did you, me and you, Tara. Two of a kind. 18. Talk about the questions. Every time there's a family occasion, dad brags to everyone about your SAT scores. First of all, we didn't have SAT scores in Canada. But I'm gonna let this one gonna answer it? Use my imagination. How do you react to this? The options are A, when you're alone, you politely ask them not to do this.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Tara]

B, let it slide. If it makes them happy to go on about you for a few minutes, you can deal. Or C, scream, dad, you're embarrassing me. And stomp out the door. Where's D? Accolades, please. Grade me. Grade me. I'm ever so smart.

[Dave]

Same.

[Tara]

So I'm giving myself the D answer, which is worth three points here, which actually raises my score to 19.

[Dave]

Yeah, I'm like you as well. And the thing is, my dad was the registrar of the university that I attended for undergrad. And so he would never do anything this gauche.

[Pam]

No.

[Dave]

However, that said, I don't know if I ever told you this after exams.

[Tara]

Once killed a man. Garrotted him.

[Dave]

He took us to the World Economic Forum, and I didn't think that was such a thing.

[Tara]

I don't know a lot about your dad's past, you know, I know some of the highlights. He was.

[Dave]

Had a lot of jobs.

[Tara]

Professional football referee. He was in the Canadian Football League.

[Dave]

Correct.

[Tara]

But I also would believe he's killed a few people in this time.

[Dave]

Well, you know, he did work on the railroads, so.

[Tara]

Yeah. He's got drive. He's got discipline.

[Dave]

Y.

[Tara]

Those are good qualities in a professional killer.

[Dave]

Anyways, he did also work in a prison for a time.

[Tara]

Hey, really?

[Dave]

I mean, this. The official story is he was the chaplain. Because this was when he was a Jesuit.

[Tara]

Right.

[Dave]

Who knows? I wasn't there.

[Tara]

Are you dear listeners saying Jesus Christ, what didn't he do? Yes, he was also a Sears model. Catalog model.

[Dave]

He was a Sears catalog model when he was a little, like a boy and a young teenager. He was an ASL interpreter. He was a Jesuit. As I said, he. He worked on the railroad.

[Tara]

Right.

[Dave]

I guess that's it.

[Tara]

I'd like to believe he was all these things at one point in time. There was one month where he was filling all those shoes. Perhaps Jesuit on the field, refereeing football in an adult version of teenage clothes from the Sears catalog. He's also trying to keep prisoners at bay from entering the field.

[Dave]

Yes.

[Tara]

And he Kills one person and then.

[Dave]

He reviews everybody's applications to university.

[Tara]

That's right. That's right.

[Dave]

He was a university registrar. And so when grades were submitted, but not yet, like, they. If you remember Dave, grades would be submitted and then you would get like a paper report card, basically, at the end of term.

[Tara]

Yeah, your dot matrix.

[Dave]

It was. It was. But as they came in, my dad could check. And so he always was like, I won't check. I won't look if you don't want me to. Who knows? I would have no way of knowing if he did. But I always wanted to know because I want to know my grades. And it was even better when my dad could be the one being like, you got a 92 in that class? And be like, hot damn, sometimes I did. Yeah. I wouldn't mind this either.

[Tara]

No. So what's yours?

[Dave]

11. Your dad wants to introduce you to the son of a friend of his. Do you agree? A, no. Dad doesn't have a clue as to your taste in guys. B, maybe he might set you up with someone with snot running out of his nose. Then again, he might not see. Probably dad would at least know if he was nice. I went with A for that one. No, your dad doesn't have a clue as to your taste in guys. I wouldn't just give him a flat no, but I'd say, no, thank you. But I also, again, can't imagine my dad trying to do this.

[Tara]

Yeah, that was where I was at, too. I answered the same, but I needed the D option, which is my family does not deal with emotional issues within the family. There's nothing that can touch that sphere. Are you going on a date? That's as much as we want to know. And that is it.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Tara]

Very WASPy upbringing.

[Dave]

Yeah. What if this was your mom wants to introduce you to this daughter of a friend of hers.

[Tara]

Oh, actually, same answer, but extra no, thank you.

[Dave]

Just no, not no, thank you.

[Tara]

Well, because the only people my mother ever met outside the house is when she would do things like get her hair done or go grocery shopping.

[Dave]

Yes.

[Tara]

Or see the doctor. And I don't want any of those people in my life. Any of those people's kids in my life.

[Dave]

No.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Dave]

This is unappealing. The hysterical hate your parents answers were so over the top in most of these, I would say.

[Tara]

What were the teen movies at this time? Is this the era of don't tell the babysitter, don't tell the mom the babysitter's dead, and stuff like that?

[Dave]

The next Year. I'm gonna check.

[Tara]

But it's in the culture, right? Yes, like the culture is parents are so stupid. Come on.

[Dave]

Oh, 91. It would come out this summer. So it's. We're a few months away from don't tell mom.

[Tara]

Yeah. So that's the. What we're rebelling against five at the time. So I get why these answers are that way. But, you know, let's give it up for the do gooders here. We need some options.

[Dave]

It's true. Mom gives you a puke green sweater for your birthday. You were expecting a leather knapsack. You A, pitch A, fit. Jesus Christ.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Dave]

B, thank her for the gift, but ask her later if you can return it. Rude.

[Tara]

C, kick your mom right in the box. Four, burn the house.

[Dave]

My mother, at past a certain point, would never try this because she would know we don't have the same taste. But yeah, give her a big kisseroo and don't let on you don't like it is what you have to do.

[Tara]

Yuck. I don't like kisseroo.

[Dave]

No, I don't either.

[Tara]

Yeah, that sounds like exhibit be in some trial I don't want to be part of. So 18s across the board.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Tara]

Another. I mean, this is the story of the sassy quizzes. It's like, yeah, there's a lot of answers that I can give you a good answer for, but there's always three or four, which is like. Needs more forgotten. A couple options.

[Dave]

Yeah, agree. Shall we play some calls?

[Tara]

Let's do that.

[Dave]

All right, we had a couple about the massage story. And in sassy style, I'm going to summarize one of these. This is a little dark, but I feel like it's important to pass on the information. Also the. The call, it cut off.

[Tara]

How dark is this? Is this dark? I can't play the bummer theme or is this.

[Dave]

I wouldn't. Okay, this is just informational. Okay, so this is about the massage story. Pam's. Pam's terrible experience getting a massage and being exposed to bio.

[Tara]

I see we're heading into some true facts about. Okay, got it.

[Dave]

We are. So we got a call from Charlotte. And I'll tell everybody who doesn't know. You get. You have three minutes to leave a message on that. On that. The line. So if you go over that, it just cuts off. So that's part of why we're not playing it. The other part is it's. This is anxious material.

[Tara]

Right. We're going to run it through Tara GPT and Give us a summary.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Tara]

Okay.

[Dave]

I don't appreciate being called that, but I will proceed. Charlotte is a massage therapist, and Charlotte says if you go to a clinic where, first of all, they're just pulling a sheet off a pile of sheets on the table, if they're not, it means they're not cleaning properly. Properly in between.

[Tara]

So you got like a Kleenex box on the bed.

[Dave]

Right. Sometimes they will do that, but it means. If it means they're too overbooked to prepare properly between clients. And that's something where you want to call your local regulatory board and say, this clinic is not practicing. It's not using best practices.

[Tara]

If this clinic went to the gym, they wouldn't be wiping down the equipment after they use it, or they would.

[Dave]

Be doing it in a very perfunctory way, like just using their sweaty towel instead of the spray.

[Tara]

They grab the bottle, just go with their mouth. Don't actually squeeze anything. Okay, Got it.

[Dave]

Yes. But Charlotte also says if you lie down and you sense a previous client's fluids are present.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Dave]

You should go to the. Obviously, don't proceed. Go to the desk and advocate on behalf of the therapist to somebody in management, because that probably means a client before you. Whoever left this was gratifying themselves during the procedure, which is a common form of sexual assault against massage therapists. But, you know, they might not feel comfortable taking up the chain. Don't want to, you know, make waves or. But if a client says something, it's going to be taken more seriously. So that's an opportunity for you to speak up for a worker who's, you know, having unsafe conditions at their work.

[Tara]

Advocate.

[Dave]

Advocate.

[Tara]

Yes.

[Dave]

All right, so now that we've gotten that out of the way, thank you, Charlotte, for the very good information. We also got this from Brandy, and the. The quality is poor, but the call content is excellent. Clip 1.

[Pam]

Hi, this is valued guest, Brandy. I was driving, and I had to pull over. About Pam's massage situation. Reminded me of. In freshman year of college, everyone was home from winter break, and I had a house party in an unfinished basement. And my friend came out of the bathroom. She didn't have shoes on, and announced that she had stepped in semen. And she said it was semen because the couple before in the bathroom kind of were, like, zipping up their pants and everything. And that's why I do not go barefoot in unfinished basements and parties. Anyway, she's a soccer mom. Out of three kids, I don't plan on going to my high school reunion. This year. But if she's going to be there, I'm going to go just to remind her of this also. Best place to get massages. Aveda Institute. They have many places around the country, cheap massages. You can get like a two hour spot going for like 90 bucks. Very professional, very clean. Because they're students and they're supervised. All right, catch you guys later. Bye.

[Dave]

Thank you so much more. Good information. Good tip. I love the part just waiting to find out if this person is going to the reunion so that you can go and remember that time. Of course they do. They think about it every day.

[Tara]

Oh, but there's somebody out there that had that same experience but slipped on it.

[Dave]

Oh, true.

[Tara]

Just saying, in a universe with infinite possibilities, that's definitely something that's happened to somebody.

[Pam]

Oh.

[Dave]

All right, let's move on to our Teen Life call clip number two.

[Pam]

Hi. Listen to Sassy. It's these were Laura. I was just listening to the April 1991 Teen Life episode where Pam and Dave were talking about the call of the void where they felt compelled to, you know, drop jump off buildings and cliffs like that. I have the most boring version of this where anytime I'm on like a standard, like desk phone, not a cell phone, but a desk phone, I have to keep myself from hitting the button to hang up. Like when I had a job where I answered one more frequently, I literally had to put a post it note over the button so I wouldn't hang up on the person who I was talking to. So I guess it's like less disruptive but way more nerdy, which kind of tracks with me. Talk to you later. Bye.

[Tara]

That is the void of the call, not the call of the voice.

[Dave]

That's a nice piece of business.

[Tara]

Thanks. It just reminds me like the days when you used to have like a desk phone or a real Bakelite phone in your house. And now there is a couple generations that passed that don't know the satisfaction of slamming a phone and the other person on the other line getting that, you know, before the call ends.

[Dave]

Yep.

[Tara]

Which should be now an option for a cellular phone. There should be a hang up and a hang up angrily button where you get that same sound effect of somebody slamming down the phone. Hearing that half a second of the bell inside being jostled around that whole thing.

[Dave]

Do you think there's an app? Has someone probably made an app for that?

[Tara]

No, because it has to be part of the baked in OS to make a call. So it would have to be part of you could play. The most you can do is play a sound into your phone and then hang up. But that would be like I got putting. And then you're like, you're shuffling. You can hear the person shuffling with the ph phone. You're like, God damn it.

[Dave]

It's almost worth keeping just a phone. Not even hooking it up or getting it. You know, having a phone number just so you can hold your cell phone next to it and like slam it down. All right, let's hear some fashion calls starting with number three.

[Pam]

Hi, Dave, Tara and Pam. This is Kelly in Rhode Island Rompers. So when I was a junior in high school, which was 92 to 93, I had the cutest short romper and I worked at a drugstore and I was so sassy, like walking around the drugstore with just being cute little 16 year old. And then I'd have to go to the bathroom and completely disrobe in order to pee. And it was really made me really vulnerable. I also had some overalls that, you know that print with like the light pink flowers and the gray flowers and the black flowers. And it was like Arizona black background. And it was like, I don't know. It was ubiquitous in the early 90s. It was everywhere. And I have been thinking lately, I would really like to own something again in that pattern. Does anybody know what I'm talking about?

[Dave]

Nope.

[Pam]

That was better because it was a jumper, but it was also I could wear shirt underneath. So at least I wasn't completely naked and I went to the bathroom. That's all I have to say about rompers right now. Love the show. Thanks. Bye.

[Dave]

It does make you vulnerable again. I mean, I don't know how many times I have to keep saying it. Like rompers and jumpers. Not even once. Jumpsuits.

[Tara]

Yeah. I was going to ask, what's the difference between a romper and a jumpsuit again?

[Dave]

Jumpsuit is pants.

[Tara]

Oh, okay. Just the length of the leg.

[Dave]

Yes.

[Tara]

Once again, what are you doing here, ladies?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Tara]

If you have a piece of clothing you can't escape from within five seconds.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Tara]

Then you shouldn't be wearing it. It's a health hazard.

[Dave]

I agree.

[Tara]

Also, if you're in like a dangerous situation, if you're kayaking.

[Dave]

Quickly while you're.

[Tara]

Kayaking, what if a fish gets into the top of your romper and it's wiggling down? You're all freaked out and you're trying to get the fish out, but the only way you can get the fish out is somehow standing in your kayak and removing the full romper and then throwing the romper into the creek or the river. That's a lot of balancing that you're probably not going to be able to do. You'll be standing up in the kayak, the kayak will flip over and you will drown. All because you're wearing a romper or a jumpsuit.

[Dave]

Yeah. Not even once?

[Tara]

Not even once.

[Dave]

This is what I think. When people choose a jumpsuit for their taskmaster costume, which lots of women especially do and have even more of late, in more recent years, as they've become, like, a fashion item, we see three.

[Tara]

Minutes of the task, but I bet that takes at least an hour to film. And, you know, the craft services table is just off screen. You know, they're partaking.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Tara]

Having a little Bev.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Tara]

And then they got a pee.

[Dave]

Yes.

[Tara]

You don't want to stop down production, nor would production stop down for you. Probably. Time is money. So you just pee yourself.

[Dave]

Well, I mean, this was the problem with Fern Brady's costume, where she had that, like, metallic sort of bodysuit and said, you know, if she seemed like she was anxious a lot and dancing from foot to foot, it was because she had to pee a lot wearing that thing. It was a terrible choice. Anyway, jumpsuits are bad, but they're trying to pass them off as fashion, and I don't approve and I never will.

[Tara]

Okay, but what if you're wearing overalls? How hard is it to unbuckle the strap and overall and pull that down? Is it sort of just like 1% better than a romper, or is it more manageable?

[Dave]

When you take off overalls, you still have a shirt underneath, so you're not like, tits out, basically, which is what you have to be when you're in a jumpsuit because the whole top has to come down.

[Tara]

Yeah. I just mean from a having to.

[Dave]

Go pee standpoint, I think overalls are easier.

[Tara]

Okay.

[Dave]

I don't really like them either.

[Tara]

Overall, they're easier.

[Dave]

Yes.

[Tara]

Delicious.

[Dave]

Clip 4.

[Pam]

Hello, this is Nicole in Albuquerque. Okay, I know everything doesn't work the same for everybody, but my fingernails used to be really weak, and they used to peel off in layers and get really thin. It was awful. But ever since I started taking a daily dose of 800 micrograms of folic acid, they've been just really strong and nice. And so I would recommend giving that a shot because it probably won't hurt you. 800 micrograms of folic acid.

[Dave]

That is the real end of the call. There was no, there was no goodbye.

[Tara]

It was a very folic acid Board of America training video ending.

[Dave]

Yes, I'm calling from Metabolite Life. Folic acid.

[Tara]

Goodbye, folic acid.

[Dave]

Great tip.

[Tara]

But wait.

[Dave]

Yes.

[Tara]

Layers of the fingernail coming off like onion paper kind of thing. Just like you have. The layers are separating somehow.

[Dave]

Yes, I've had that.

[Tara]

Disgusting.

[Dave]

It's not great.

[Tara]

Wait, does it come off, like, in a full fingernail shape?

[Dave]

No, it comes off, like, in strips. I mean, in my case, I don't know what other people are experiencing. But, like, if you get a hangnail, sometimes it'll split, and then that's like, it weakens your whole nail because part of it will peel away.

[Tara]

I didn't get hangnails until 10 years ago, and they're the fucking worst. Maybe I should start taking folic acid.

[Dave]

Maybe you should.

[Tara]

Yeah, maybe I should.

[Dave]

800 micrograms is what I heard.

[Tara]

800 micrograms of folic acid. Science.

[Dave]

I know. This is a supplement that they usually give to pregnant people, so look it up before you start taking it in case you grow a pair of boots back.

[Tara]

Oh, okay. Because I want to get pregnant.

[Dave]

No, because I don't know what I'll.

[Tara]

Be able to after this.

[Pam]

Skin science update.

[Dave]

Clip 5.

[Pam]

Pam, Tara, Dave, it's Front Porch Kelly from Alabama. So, listen, this is more for Pam. But anyway, so the other day, I was talking on the phone to Jamie, you know, like, shaving Jamie, my sister. And we were talking about, like, menopause and stuff like that. And she said that she had read somewhere that women, like, in India or something were using yams to help with the menopausal symptoms. And I said, oh, well, I didn't realize that I was on the phone with Pamela Ribbon. And we both started laughing and went on about our conversation. And then the next day, I was like. So I Googled it, and I ordered some yam cream off of Amazon. I don't know if it's gonna work the way that bonafide worked for you, but it was only. It was only $20. I'm gonna let you know if. While the yam cream helps with menopausal symptoms. Anyway. All right, love you guys. Bye.

[Dave]

Love you. Love this call.

[Tara]

Before she explained that it was a cream, I was imagining them mashing the gams and, like, making a bikini out.

[Dave]

Of putting them places. Yeah, no, no, it's a cream.

[Tara]

How many bottles of this does Pam currently have in her house?

[Dave]

Well, it's cream, so it's probably a tuber jar.

[Tara]

6 yeah, probably.

[Dave]

I just love that now Pam's name has become a punchline for this wonderful tendency that she has. It's really brought a lot of joy to people. And I, you know, it's a little sad that she's not here to respond, but I hope that when she listens to this, and she will, that she will call and leave a message for the. For the sassy line because we need to play it.

[Tara]

Do you think Pam is less or more inclined to order a boondoggle product that is outside of Western medicine? Does it hold more or less appeal because it is not based in pseudoscience? It is based in, you know, tradition and, and folk medicine?

[Dave]

You know, I think it's 50. 50, I think. I think Pam is also susceptible to a fake science appeal.

[Tara]

Historically, they are all her children.

[Dave]

I think she would be less. Less sheepish, shall we say, about a wild yam cream.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Than she is about some of the, let's say, FDA test.

[Tara]

Right. You could read the ingredients on FDA cream and understand most of it, I think, would be the appeal on wild yam cream. Yeah.

[Dave]

Yes.

[Tara]

Very good, Pam. Call in. Let us know.

[Dave]

This is a callback to a very, very long ago drop on the feed. Clip six.

[Pam]

Hey, folks, this is Lindsay Polly and I'm catching up on old episodes. And I'm listening to the Tandoori lady episode. And can I tell you how disconcerting it was to be in the car and hear hi, Lindsay, at the start and try to figure out who the hell I had called. Anyway, have a good one. Bye, y'. All.

[Tara]

Well, now's the time to let you know that we personalized that episode for every one of our listeners.

[Dave]

I'm sure that's disturbing. Here's someone that never happens to me. I almost never hear my name in. In pop culture.

[Tara]

So also, you're either the type of person that's comfortable using strangers names after you just learned them, or you cannot. And I am never using somebody's name that I don't know. Like if they have a name tag, I'm not going to say. Well, thank you very much, Patrice. Thank you very much, Lindsay. That you just heard her name when she answered the phone, I assume is how Pam knew it. Maybe Pam just knows Lindsay from Hawaii.

[Dave]

Pretty sure she doesn't know the hostess from Kona Brewing Company.

[Tara]

No, but I am not that kind of person.

[Dave]

Pam's that kind of person. So it goes hand in hand with ordering wild yam cream.

[Tara]

Didn't do her any good, though. We didn't get the reservation.

[Dave]

No, they don't take reservations.

[Tara]

Oh, man.

[Dave]

I could eat a pizza, boy. God damn.

[Tara]

Destroy it right now. Corner Brewing Company, Big island, if you're there.

[Dave]

God, it's so good, pizza.

[Tara]

So good.

[Dave]

Yeah, you may have had their beer because I know that some.

[Tara]

Yeah, it's everywhere.

[Dave]

But if you. Yes, if you. They have a location like a lot of brewing companies where they use their spent wheat and stuff and their beer gunk, make breads and pizza and fucking hell. It's such good pizza. It's so good. Yeah, I'm sad.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Dave]

So I'm going to stop being sad by listening to the horrifying call of the month. And just. This is your content warning. Okay? This is a call about bad things that can happen when you're a customer at a restaurant.

[Pam]

Hi, Dave, Tara and Pam, it's Marit. Longtime listeners, second time caller, but last time I called was very long time ago. Anyhow, I'm listening to the April 1991 fashion etc issue and Pam is talking about being at a water park and finding like a band aid in the water there, which is gross. And that required me to call with my own gross band aid discovery story, which I still believe tops them all. Because I was at a restaurant eating a French dip. So head sandwich and fries on the plate. And I picked up a fry and buried amongst the fries was a used cooked band aid. It was obviously one, based on how it was looped, that had been around like a chef or line chef's finger and was like fried with the fries on my plate. And it was very disgusting to discover that there I was, calmed the entire meal, obviously, and did not eat anything else that was on that plate. I don't think I've been back to that place since because again, that can happen. We've all lost Band aids. But if you're a chef and you have a band aid on, We've all seen the bear. You're supposed to put gloves on over your fingers. Like, you see this on Top Chef. You see this on the bear. If you have a cut on your finger and even if you have a band aid all over it, you put on the gloves because you don't want to lose the band aid in the food. And as in the person who has found the band aid in the food, I have to say, do not do that. Yuck. Terrible. Anyway, love you guys. Thanks for all the shows. Bye.

[Tara]

Oh, did she explain how much she ate before then? That's like the piece of the puzzle I need to know.

[Dave]

Well, she Ate some because it was. It was under the fries.

[Tara]

Right. She had to spelunk for the Band Aid.

[Dave]

She didn't spelunk. She just picked up a fry and there it was.

[Tara]

That's spelunking. Going deeper.

[Dave]

Okay. Yes.

[Tara]

It's like you've never spelunked.

[Dave]

That's horrifying.

[Tara]

That is so bad.

[Dave]

I've been reading the Lauren Michaels biography. I finished it two weeks ahead of book club. By the way, congratulations to me, famous.

[Tara]

Band Aid eater, Lorne Michael.

[Dave]

It's like 600 pages. But one of the little details that they get into is that the women who worked on the show in the 70s were like very aware of their weight and that one of the things that they did to try to stop themselves eating what they felt was too much would be to like stub out a cigarette in their food. So maybe Band Aid surprise diet.

[Pam]

A.

[Dave]

Just kidding. Don't do that. It's not a. That's only a joke, not a suggestion. Yeah, but you probably didn't eat for the rest of the day.

[Tara]

What do you think the quick temporary fix is for that?

[Dave]

For what?

[Tara]

Finding a Band Aid in your food.

[Dave]

I get it.

[Tara]

I remember when I was at the donut house in Thorold, Ontario, that was my first real job. And the donuts were made under a shelf, wooden shelf, where all the like towels and aprons and stuff are and where you would pin the, you know, the current order. How many of this donut. How many of that donut? Because it changed every day of the week. And at some point somebody was baking and the thumbtack that had the thing fell into some dough and somebody ate a push pin.

[Dave]

Oh, no.

[Tara]

Yeah. Or the push pin stabbed them inside of their mouth or something like that. So got to be careful.

[Dave]

Did they change their practices after that?

[Tara]

No. Well, I think it was just like, make sure it doesn't happen again, I think was the solution.

[Dave]

Oh, great.

[Tara]

Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't a well run donut shop, but it paid pretty good for a. For a high school job.

[Dave]

So are they still in business that you.

[Tara]

No, they sold it pretty good. It was owned by two diabetics. So already not a great start.

[Dave]

Probably not, you know.

[Tara]

Yeah, you can't really sample your wares. How you know you're ever going to approve. You can't. Or if you do, you die.

[Dave]

It's a cheerful end. Let's close it there, I guess.

[Tara]

Next time.

[Dave]

Next time we will be opening up the May 1991 issue and discussing its teed life topics. Kim investigates whether guys make better friends than girls. Sassy shares results from a poll on what readers think about school. We'll learn what he said about hypothetical invisibility. What's that? You're missing a bummer feature. Don't worry. Christina talks to a young woman living with hiv Few for my plug this week Wednesday as in Wednesday, Adams is her generation's Lydia Deets. Almost literally in that she is played by Jenna Ortega, who played Lydia's daughter in Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice I reviewed season two Part one of Wednesday at Cracked and we will link that in the show Notes all.

[Tara]

Right, you can support this podcast. It's $5 a month, gets you some great perks like ad free episodes and of course that cover to cover PDFs scan of whatever issue we're talking about. Free for your download and of course access to our discord where you can talk to us and your fellow listeners. You can also call us. Our hotline is 720Sassy. Go leave a voicemail like everybody in this episode did. Tell us about where you found a band aid and how much of it you ate. Our website is listentosassy.com there you can find visual aids and links to episode notes and all that good stuff. Thank you for listening and we'll see you next time. If you're alignment in charge of keeping the lights on, Granger understands that you go to great lengths and sometimes heights to ensure the power is always flowing. Which is why you can count on Grainger for professional grade products and next day delivery. So you have everything you need to get the job done. Call 1-800-GRAINGER clickgrainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.