August 1991 Fashion Etc.: Brushes, Jeans & The Clarion Computer

Summary

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Listen To Sassy: Life in the 90s

Episode Summary: August 1991 Fashion Etc.: Brushes, Jeans & The Clarion Computer

Aired: March 3, 2026
Hosts: Tara Ariano (“Sassy”), Pamela Ribon (“Pam”), and David T. Cole (“Dave”)

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Overview

This episode takes a nostalgic deep-dive into the August 1991 issue of Sassy magazine, focusing on the era’s defining fashion, beauty advice, and quirky ads. The hosts balance humor, personal memories, and 90s trivia as they dissect everything from "personalized mascara" and hairbrush hoarding, to impractical denim trends, kilt debates, and questionable body image schemes. Notable for laugh-out-loud tangents and genuine affection for their teen mag roots, this episode is both a pop-culture time capsule and an earnest group chat among friends who lived it.

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Key Topics & Segments

1. Clarion Computer, Customized Mascara, & Beauty Gimmicks

• [00:00]–[01:27]
  • Pam remembers the Clarion computer—an in-store device that prescribed personalized mascara formulas and packaging.
  • Notable quote (Pam, 00:17):
    “Clarion has four unique formulas, each with its own customized brush. One is perfect for you. Now for the real test.”
  • The conversation wittily spirals into body hair customization, with jokes about pubes, and how the technology could be (poorly) repurposed.

2. Cover & Fashion Ads: Website Design, Bill & Ted, and 90s Aesthetics

• [01:45]–[04:55]
  • Review of the August 1991 cover featuring Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter, photographed by Susan Schachter.
  • Notable moment: The crew critiques Susan Schachter’s baffling photography and her "pre-UX" web portfolio.
    • [02:47] Dave: “If you just hover over it, you'll know that 24 is Carol Brown.”
    • [03:17] Pam: “What a bitchy thing to do!” (On before/after photo comparisons.)

3. Fashion Feature #1: Sassy’s Back-To-School Monochrome

• [04:55]–[07:56]
  • Tara and Pam recall the enduring appeal of monochrome spreads: lots of corduroy, rib-knit sweaters, and Converse.
  • [05:45] Dave: “Or a rummage sale.”
  • Observations about photography style—clothes artfully laid on the floor, inviting readers to “imagine yourself in them.”
  • Discussion of the geographical divide: heavy knits for the north; dubbed useless for hot Texas falls.
  • Fashion vocabulary nostalgia: What exactly is a “jodhper skirt?”
  • Trends: Short shorts with tights, especially paisley tights by Hue (Pam’s fave).

4. Fashion Feature #2: Milla Jovovich, Railroad Glam, & Ominous Photo Locations

• [09:50]–[12:29]
  • Star model: Milla Jovovich in the “Hit the Road Jack” spread—tough, cool, always with tights under shorts.
  • [11:13] Dave: “Did you notice in the page 72 photo she is posing in front of a giant load of bullshit?...Steer manure.”
  • [12:08] Sassy: “If you were the girl who, in high school, was intimidatingly cool enough to wear any of these, please call in ‘7-Twitty Sassy Go’ and tell us what it’s like.”

5. Fashion Feature #3: Chanel Knock-Offs – “Coco a Go Go”

• [12:45]–[13:52]
  • Chanel-inspired, but the looks quickly move from chic to "mumsy biker."
  • [13:26] Dave: “You say quilted, I say moving blanket fashion.”
  • Commentary on age-appropriateness—many looks seem adult, not school-ready.

6. Kilt Shopping—Authentic or Not?

• [14:26]–[16:04]
  • Rundown of nine kilts: Pam recounts buying real Pendleton kilts on eBay.
  • [15:21] Sassy: “720-Sassy-Go—tell us what a kilt is, in your opinion.”
  • Dave’s aversion to kilts: “What if I fall down some stairs and can’t quite maneuver myself up? My ass is sticking out and I don’t get any help, and I die because nobody wants to approach a guy in a kilt.”

7. Beauty Feature: Eye Makeup Encyclopedia & The Tongue-Out Phenomenon

• [17:00]–[19:33]
  • A refresher on eye makeup from Sassy, plus a real-world tangent: Why do some people stick out their tongues when concentrating?
  • Pam delivers neuroscience trivia, throws shade at mascara “baby brain reflexes.”

8. About Face: The Search for the Perfect Hairspray

• [19:46]–[20:48]
  • An environmentally-conscious aerosols recap: Vidal Sassoon’s “new air spray”—an ill-fated attempt at refillable beauty products.

9. Brushes and Combs: The Drawer Audit

• [20:51]–[24:43]
  • Pam lists her hair grooming arsenal: seven brushes, four combs, each with distinct utility—a detailed journey through the “combiverse.”
    • [22:23] Dave: “It’s a fashion trough.”
    • [24:22] Pam: “My hair is at a length now where I'm not getting giant tangles so I don't have to go all the way to big comb.”
  • Dave and Tara admit modest brush needs; educate Dave on the world of “rat tail” combs.
  • More banter about hair texture, envy, and product recommendations—Machiavelli’s "Manipulator" gets a chuckle.

10. Off-Label Hair Hacks: Kool-Aid Dye, Home Experiments, and Mascara Witchery

• [28:32]–[31:53]
  • Kool-Aid hair dye: Does it work? Risks of weird root bands and color duration.
    • [29:49] Pam: “Kool Aid hair dye on gray hair typically lasts three to six weeks or 10 to 20 washes. Because gray hair is porous.”
  • Make-up tips gone metaphysical: “Hold a mascara wand near eyes to see if you’re sensitive,” which the trio finds “macrobiotic witchery.”
    • [31:25] Dave: “Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Merlin of them.”

11. Ads & Marketing Analysis: From Gitano to Levi’s to the Absurd

• [32:03]–[61:12]

  • A parade of vintage ads are dissected—sometimes with forensic sarcasm:

    • Gitano: doomed water fashion shoot.
    • CoverGirl: sassy ski suit ad, incomplete forms, and the legendary “Penis Manor” Junior/Senior High.
    • No Excuses at Sears: Arsenio Hall, Madonna bans, and “state flag fashion.”
    • Levi’s: Poster-art, salon-chic, collect-them-all campaigns.
    • Merry Go Round: Animal prints gone awry—"cow, giraffe, and zebra-themed everything."
    • Lee Jeans: Zippers in “three places”—actual and imagined.
    • Hypercolor: The fleeting obsession with color-changing tees.
    • East Pack: Non-functional backpack models: “immutable backpacks.”
    • Bic Pens: Pam’s mother nostalgia purchase.
    • Clarion Ads: The finger-wrapped fry model "requiring all ten fingers, but not eating."
      • [64:14] Pam: “Julie is so hungry...it requires all 10 fingers to put one fry near her mouth and not eat it.”

  • Body Shaping Ads (and Their Insidiousness)

    • Medi-Cal System: Damning send-away schemes promising to “fix” any body part—even your wrists.
      • [55:01] Pam: “If you have been shamed into hating only your wrists, fuck everyone you’ve ever met in your life.”
      • [56:16] Sassy: “If this is for your body, what happens if you just check off face?”

  • Nanette Laree Enterprises

    • Outrageous dating guide ad, tangent into the author's bizarre later work and anti-feminist screeds.

12. Sassy Magazine Content: REM, Fashion, and Easter Eggs

• [67:19]–[69:54]
  • Diary content about R.E.M., Michael Stipe connections, and Jane in the “Shiny Happy People” video.
  • Deep nostalgia for inside jokes among hosts (the “Did You See This?” photo game).

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Notable & Memorable Quotes

• Sassy on Model Milla Jovovich, [11:32]:
  “She looks so cool...because she’s Milla Jovovich and the rest of us are not.”

• Pam on Fashion Feature, [05:35]:
  “It’s very Heather’s.”

• Dave on Kilt Hazards, [16:04]:
  “My ass is sticking out and I don’t get any help and I die because nobody wants to approach a guy in a kilt.”

• Pam on Comb Utility, [24:22]:
  “My hair is at a length now where I’m not getting giant tangles so I don’t have to go all the way to big comb.”

• Dave on Medi-Cal Body Spot Ad, [55:10]:
  “What if you have one wrist that is skinny and one wrist that is fat? That might be hard.”

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Standout Segments & Timestamps

• Clarion Computer & Mascara [00:00–01:27]
• Sassy Website Critique [02:11–03:18]
• Monochrome School Fashion [04:55–07:56]
• Milla Jovovich’s Road Warrior [09:50–12:29]
• Kilt Debate [14:26–16:04]
• Hairbrush Inventory & Comb Discussions [20:51–24:43]
• Kool-Aid Hair Dye, Nostalgia [28:32–30:39]
• Mascara ‘Witch Test’ [31:25–31:53]
• Medi-Cal Body Shame Ad [53:19–57:44]
• Nanette Laree’s “How To Survive Dating in College” [59:56–62:10]
• Pen Obsession & Clarion Fry Model [63:19–66:17]

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Tone & Takeaways

• Tone: Snarky, affectionate, trivia-rich, cheerfully critical, and ultimately celebratory of a weird, beloved decade.
• The episode is peppered with running jokes (pubes, kilts, Lorraine from shipping), as well as genuine fashion and beauty advice for both its time and today.
• The hosts’ banter is as informative as it is irreverent, keeping the 90s nostalgia alive for old Sassy readers—and drawing welcome parallels to today.

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For Next Time

• August 1991 Quiz: “How Health Conscious Are You?”
• Listener voicemails (call 720-SASSY-GO!)
• Visual aids and episode extras at ListenToSassy.com

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Closing Quote (Dave, [71:05]):
Brush those pubes with your 12 brushes.

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Transcript

[Pam]

My friend's lashes are so long, she'd always complain. They kept hitting her glasses, poor thing. Mine were so skimpy, I needed a microscope to find them. Clarion introduces a first personalized mascara. The Clarion computer helped me find a new mascara made just for lashes like mine. Because different lash types need different mascaras, Clarion has four unique formulas, each with its own customized brush. One is perfect for you. Now for the real test.

[Dave]

Oops.

[Pam]

Won't hear me complaining. It is August 1991. Esprit invites customers to say how they would change the world in an ad campaign that will eventually feature a young Gwyneth Paltrow. Gosh, I wonder how she'll change the world. 90s denim is now relaxed and blue, and the FDA approves a version of Rogaine for women. Dave, if you could approve something for women, what would it be?

[Dave]

Rogaine for your poobs.

[Pam]

The 70s are back. Anyway, that means it's time to listen to Sassy.

[Sassy]

Listen to Sassy while you're combing your long, luxurious pubes.

[Pam]

I used a Clarion computer to find out the length of my pubes. Oops. You won't hear me complaining.

[Sassy]

I hate it when they hit the inside of my glasses.

[Dave]

14 inches. What the hell? That's why I'm always tripping.

[Sassy]

Fashion. Should we get to it?

[Dave]

Let's get through all the fashion and all the other stuff because we got a lot of ads to talk about today.

[Sassy]

Apparently there's a ton of new ads this month for sure. The COVID of course, features Bill and Ted, AKA Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter. Oh, no, other way around. It is photographed by Susan Schachter, who we have not come across before. And I just want to invite my co hosts. And we will, of course, put this in the show notes as well, too.

[Dave]

She related to Shaq?

[Sassy]

I don't think so, because it's Shaq with a C. Something very exciting slash antique happens when you go to her homepage.

[Dave]

Enter site.

[Sassy]

You're not getting an animation of like, a million of her photos.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Sassy]

Yes.

[Pam]

I remember these websites.

[Sassy]

I just haven't seen one of those in a really long time.

[Pam]

Okay, but then when you click it. Yeah, yeah.

[Sassy]

When you click through, she has different categories, but all of her photos, like, are just a teeny, tiny strip, so you can't tell what they are until you click on them. It's a very strange design all around. It is not user friendly, except the

[Dave]

alt tag is the person. So if you just hover over it, you'll know that 24 is Carol Brown.

[Sassy]

All right.

[Dave]

Look at Carol Brown with her lizard like eyes. That's a weird choice.

[Pam]

On Susan's page, if you like go up to the toolbar, it's like before and afters and in this crazy shade of chartreuse. Yeah, it says this section compares a client's old headshot by a different photographer with their new headshot by Susan Schachter. What up, bitchy thing to do?

[Sassy]

Yep.

[Dave]

This is a really poorly designed website.

[Sassy]

I. That's why I wanted you to look at it.

[Dave]

Why are you cutting off so many of your photos?

[Sassy]

Yeah, but if you go to her portraits, she at a certain time was shooting celebrities because if you click through them, you'll see Patricia Clarkson and Nicole Kidman and Michelle Williams and others. But boy, all of them have different faces. Then they were shot by Susan than they do now. Especially Nicole Kidman who is almost unrecognizable.

[Dave]

I don't want to get too in the weeds on the photography stuff and this person obviously knows her stuff better than I do, but she's making some weird choices when it comes to what is reflected in their eyes. Right. When you're shooting whatever equipment is in front of you, if you're close enough to the eyes, you will see in their eyes. So I'm going to put this in our chat and then hopefully it can make its way to the show notes.

[Sassy]

I'll save it.

[Dave]

Yeah, there's a lot of things that look like this dude, Chris Mazza, where he looks like he's a fucking lizard

[Pam]

person because it's the. Oh yeah, he's got cat eyes.

[Sassy]

I don't care for that one bit.

[Pam]

It appears to have gotten her the poster for Scream, which is.

[Sassy]

Okay, well that's not nothing.

[Pam]

We all know. Yeah, that's not nothing at all. Which has some scary eyes. So maybe that's what she. What she banked on. Yeah.

[Sassy]

So if you want to look into Susan or hire her to shoot your headshot and let her put it on her website next to the shitty one you used to have or currently have, she seems to be available for that.

[Pam]

Fashion feature. Number one is Sassy's very most perfect back to school clothes or art. You know photographer Michael Scott. What can't he do? This is a several page spread of clothes by Hue, numbered so that you can go through what I believe still holds up of several pages of monochromatic displays of. Of mostly sweaters and shirts. Like it's. You're not breaking new ground on back to School. Clothes, sweaters, shirts, shoes, hats. Converse. Yeah, if you tag yourself, I'm definitely this mustard situation going on. Even though it's very Heather's. It's very Heather's.

[Sassy]

Yeah. Right. And they're all. There's no models. They're all just laid on the floor and then shot from above so that you can imagine yourself in them. Yes. Like art. Exactly.

[Dave]

Or a rummage sale.

[Sassy]

Or a rummage sale, Yep. Yeah. I agree that a lot of these have aged pretty well because they're not particularly trendy. Mostly a polka dot button down is not going to really go out of style. And there's quite a few of those. The coats are good. Some of them you really have to squint to see what they're even describing because everything is numbered. And, like, number 14 on the first page is green jeans. It's like, okay, if you say so. I could think I can see part of one leg folded over. So in some of these, you would really have to use your imagination to picture yourself wearing them. But I am obviously the blue page. This. This is my. This is my shade. Number one of the whole spread is a blue corduroy toggle coat by Esprit. And a toggle coat is something I always wanted when we lived in New York. I got one. It was red, though it was not corduroy. It was very warm. And it was from Esprit rip. Although I think they're clawing their way back in some form now.

[Pam]

Yeah, there's a lot of, like, corduroy and softy stuff. Ribbed knits. Like, it is a back to school in the northern side of the United States.

[Sassy]

Yes.

[Pam]

Because back to school in Texas, you can't wear any of this for another two, three months easily.

[Sassy]

But yeah, you don't want a mohair sweater in large swaths of the country. The ribbed sweaters are big. I had forgotten how much of them there were. Like the tiny ones that are stretchy and then, you know, like this mohair one. That's where it's wider, but they also have something on the pink slash purple page, page 48, which is described as a jodh per skirt, which I have no idea what that would be. Jodhpur pants are like, you know, with the wide thighs. So you wear them when you're horseback riding. So I think they just decided to make up a term because a lot of these seem like they're not what they're called in whatever brands, catalog they found them.

[Dave]

Is it maybe just a skirt that has the. The bottom of the skirt is like the bunchy bit of the jodhpur pants. Yeah.

[Sassy]

Your guess is as good as mine. It's hard to tell because you can't tell if it's folded or if it's like a curved hem.

[Pam]

A lot of the fashion this month is about wearing short shorts with tights. Like a lot of it. It's all over this issue. What I did not remember until I saw it here on the black and gray page are the tights on page 82, these paisley tights by Hugh. I owned them. I wore them constantly.

[Sassy]

Yeah.

[Pam]

I wore these under lots of shorts and jean shorts and until I had stripy sock. Stripy tights to replace them. These were. These are on my legs a lot.

[Sassy]

Those are pretty cool. I think they're still cool.

[Dave]

There's a whole thing about jodhpur dresses. It's a thing. They're just two separate things named for the same something location or something.

[Sassy]

Oh, yes, it is. It's also a place in India.

[Dave]

Yes. So perhaps it's two separate, unrelated, fashion wise things originating from the same place.

[Sassy]

Sassy.

[Pam]

I apologize.

[Sassy]

I take it back.

[Dave]

These dresses do not look comfortable, though. They leave everything to the imagination.

[Pam]

The jumpsuit on the same black and white and gray page would be so popular right now. Although it says it's shorts, right? It's like long sleeves, thick. I'm working in the pit crew top. But it says it's a short jumpsuit,

[Sassy]

which would be so like a. A romper.

[Pam]

A romper with long sleeves. Long sleeves with like. Like sweatshirt sleeves, which, I mean, what a way to get even more naked and have your sleeves hit the floor in the bathroom. And then you're like, God damn it.

[Sassy]

Also, it's flannel. Yeah. You would need to wear tights with this because it's only for wintertime for sure. Yes, it would be way too hot any other season. But I. I've never seen anyone wear anything like this, including in our day when jumpsuits are bafflingly popular.

[Pam]

Still, I'm a big baby.

[Sassy]

I guess. Fashion feature number two is a traditional one in the sense that there is a model. The model is just identified as Mila, but it is Mila Jovovich who is earlier in this magazine on page 59 in the ad for the movie Return to the Blue Lagoon, which I have never seen.

[Dave]

You gotta go back.

[Sassy]

Yeah, I guess I feel like one of them is. It's the child of the original people. But I may be totally making that up.

[Dave]

Why not? Why not make something oogie Even more Oogie.

[Sassy]

Well, yes. Anyway, Hit the road, Jack is the story. And it is all shot on not a road, near railroad tracks and other places. But it's all black and white. All of the fashions look like they are black. And she looks really cool and tough and intimidating. Including on page 70 when she's wearing a hair net from a beauty store. That's a hat. It sort of looks like a crocheted beret of some sort, but it's just a hairnet. And she's pulling it off. It is echoed in her fishnets. More tights under short shorts. Getting away with it here for sure, because she's Milla Jovovich and the rest of us are not.

[Dave]

Did you notice in the page 72 photo she is posing in front of a giant load of bullshit?

[Sassy]

Oh, my God, she is. I didn't notice that.

[Dave]

Steer manure.

[Pam]

Oh, man, that can't sp Smell good.

[Dave]

Speaking about things she can pull off. There we go.

[Sassy]

God. But she still looks so cool.

[Pam]

Because she's hot.

[Sassy]

She's hot. She's the hottest.

[Dave]

You know what took me back? Her having to pull down the license plate to fill up the tank in the first photo.

[Sassy]

True.

[Pam]

Yeah. We don't get to lean sexy while we pump gas anymore.

[Dave]

Is this how you.

[Pam]

No one ever talks about that.

[Dave]

Is this how you do it? The guy's like, you're in New Jersey. I do it.

[Pam]

Get away.

[Dave]

Get out of there is illegal.

[Sassy]

I also were there.

[Pam]

Like, you can see Mila in a lot less than this in her new movie Return to the Blue Lagoon. I was like, come on. Like, hey, ladies, coming to the stage.

[Dave]

Sassy. Can you put in a pause? Men in there for us, please.

[Sassy]

Okay, but I'm sorry, I don't know what other reason you would go to Return to the Blue Lagoon other than you want to see some nudity. Like, that's the whole point of that franchise. She looks great. If you were the girl who, in high school was intimidatingly cool enough to wear any of these, please call in seven Twitty. Sassy. Go. Tell us what it's like. I don't know.

[Pam]

Yeah. If your hair and your lips were both giant, call us. My God, look at all that hair.

[Sassy]

I know.

[Pam]

She looks great.

[Sassy]

Fashion feature number three is Coco a Go Go. And the concept here is what if Chanel. But knockoffs. If you've seen the Simpsons episode where Marge finds a Chanel suit from an factory seconds store and impresses someone when she's wearing it the normal way, and then just keeps unmaking it and turning it into other garments. You get the vibe of what this is. I'm going to say it gets less good the longer it goes on. Personally, page 85 is probably the best one. It's the. She's got a little Chanel style sweater, some quilted leather ish shorts.

[Dave]

You say quilted, I say moving blanket fashion.

[Sassy]

Well, there is that and I'll. I'll give it to you.

[Dave]

Okay, thanks.

[Sassy]

The. It ends on. I'm gonna say the mumsiest biker in the gang where she's doing a lot of chunky gold jewelry and doing a sort of hip hop pose she's not quite pulling off. But at least in that one she doesn't just have a wig resting on top of her head like on page 80 in. Which is a choice.

[Pam]

This all seemed adult to me too. Nobody's walking through school like this in any of these.

[Sassy]

No.

[Pam]

These are not school appropriate clothes.

[Sassy]

No. Maybe the houndstooth with the short shorts if you're Donna Martin from Beverly Hills 90210. But the rest of these, it's. It's only. If you were the person who arrived at that Salon Selectives ad in a previous issue and were really excited then maybe this is your style. But otherwise it is a little old.

[Pam]

What next? It's kilts. Pick a kilt. Any kilt of the nine kilts available. Some Betsy Johnsons, some Ultra pinks, some Esprit. Of course, some juju necessary objects. Ufo. Not a Pendleton in the bunch. Not a vintage find in here, which is ridiculous. Like this is where you get your. You go to the Army Navy store or a vintage shop and get yourself a kilt that smells like the back of your grandmother's closet. Like the rest of us. Slightly moldy and you wear it anyway.

[Sassy]

And only seven of the nine are even plaid. To me that's a requirement for being a kilt.

[Pam]

Oh, you think so? I feel like this. Just this whole. This whole accordion on your butt barely graces the bottom cheek is a kilt. Right. You wrap it around and button it and put it. Then I thought that was it. Like a kilt is a piece of fabric tiny that you wrap and then often has pleats.

[Sassy]

720sassy. Go tell us what a kilt is in your. In your opinion. I do like the floral one. Although I would not describe it as a kilt. I would wear that now. It's really cute.

[Pam]

This made me go to ebay and purchase a Pendleton kilt. It's awesome.

[Sassy]

Oh, nice Very good.

[Pam]

I was like, oh, I don't have one anymore. And I found one that looked exactly like the one I had, which is this bottom left field hockey type. I had that with one of those giant diaper pin pins.

[Sassy]

Yeah. Dave, you managed to resist the Utilikilt era back in the 2000s. Was there any part of you that ever desired to wear a kilt as an adult or a child?

[Dave]

Nah, too much to worry about. What if I get into an accident? What if I fall down some stairs and I can't quite maneuver myself up and I'm asking for help? My ass is sticking out and I don't get any help and I die because nobody wants to approach a guy in a kilt with his ass out screaming for help.

[Sassy]

Depends where you are. Maybe if you're in Scotland. Probably happens all the time.

[Dave]

They probably just ignore you there. Ah, let the weak. Yeah, I never. I never liked the kilt thing. All right, the guys that were into utility kilts back in the day, they all own their own barbershops now. Perhaps they all want to make you look like a special forces guy from Zero Dark Thirty. That's their deal. That's all they like.

[Pam]

Beauty feature number one, the eye makeup Encyclopedia. Our photographer is Monic. Richard, I guess, and our model is Carrie. You know, they're just telling you again how to put your eye makeup on. You put some base on. You put a line here, you put some color here, color over there, color up there. Don't, don't, don't put the fourth color, you trashy whore. And at the bottom, it talks about, once again, you know, how to curl your lashes and how important it is. Mentions a little thing about when you're putting on your mascara, but that you might stick your tongue out a little bit. So I was just like, oh, why do we do that? Went and looked that up. We stick out our tongues. Not everybody does it, by the way. Not everybody sticks their tongue out when they concentrate. I'll ask you later if you're a tongue or not, but it's to shut off part of our brain. Because these little fine motor skills and part of our brain that uses them are somehow linked very closely. They sit near each other in the brain and they think, some of us, I'll just say us, that still do it. Never really learned as a baby how to stop opening your mouth and putting your tongue out whenever you were exploring something new and trying to use your fingers for the first time and then, like, touching it. So it's our baby brain,

[Dave]

is this related to people that can't shut their mouths when they eat?

[Sassy]

I don't know.

[Pam]

Does your tongue. Their tongues don't keep pushing it out like that. I think is the issue.

[Sassy]

Is it related to when you're driving and you turn off the radio so you can see better that I.

[Dave]

Who?

[Pam]

Okay, I'm sorry.

[Dave]

I was in the middle of drinking something. But what?

[Sassy]

You know when you're trying to concentrate, like you're looking for an address or something.

[Dave]

Learning something. Just about Tara.

[Sassy]

I've seen him. Seen people do it.

[Pam]

She's seen it on television.

[Dave]

Yeah. Do you see that pivot? Oh, I'm a freak.

[Pam]

That's so that you can hear the dialogue.

[Sassy]

Have you ever known me to turn off my radio except when I absolutely have to? What's the implication here?

[Pam]

I think you turn it down because you're concentrating. Sure. Because you don't want to hear like.

[Sassy]

Don't call it a comeback when you're

[Pam]

like, like, did I make that left?

[Sassy]

Am I going to come back street? Oh, no, I forgot.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Pam]

Anyway, this part of the brain is your homunculus, which is a fun part of your brain to say. And there was like one, but I think it's crazy that not everybody does this and that and that some of you are just more evolved. But some people instead tap their feet, bite their lips or clench their jaw instead. So these are the self regulatory mechanisms we've developed over time. Oh, another thing. One more thing before you move on.

[Dave]

Is that another correction about how Tara smart.

[Pam]

No, not yet. Save that song.

[Sassy]

About Face an item in this month's About Face. PC Hairspray dilemma. You're not a fan of chemical propellants, but you dig the continuous flow of hairspray you get from an aerosol can rather than the shorter, wetter, more concentrated bursts. Yuck. Of non aerosol spritzes solution. Vidal Sessions New air spray. Instead of chemicals, it uses old fashioned air pressure to give you that dryish steady spray. Just prime the pump with the heel of your hand 10 to 15 times. Good exercise. Okay. Plus you can buy refills. That's one in the back in the photo. So the bottle's reusable many times over. Boy, do I remember when there was a vogue. And I'm sure we've talked about this before for refillable products like this. Probably a year after this, they were all gone. Like, I don't remember this one surviving that long. And it is a very good idea

[Dave]

because we fixed the ozone hole right away so we didn't have need for it anymore and go back to starting a new one somewhere else. Maybe this one could be over China.

[Sassy]

Sorry, Australia. Good luck.

[Pam]

Groom your head right. The ever kooky folk at Revlon have come up with a line of 10 hairbrushes and six combs that will answer every possible coif needed. There's a blow dry styling brush, a detangler for wet hair. A style lifter, a natural Bliss natural bristle finishing brush that smooths Jane lynch is here. It smooths and polishes straight or wavy hair. And a special metal bristle brush that won't yank curly hair. And other precision crafted implements tech enough to make your head spin. It'll look so fine as it revolves. Dave.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pam]

I counted how many brushes and how many combs do I have in my hair drawer.

[Sassy]

Ooh, does he win something.

[Dave]

But just. Just because we broached the topic earlier. How many are pube brushes?

[Pam]

I don't keep those in that drawer.

[Dave]

Okay, good, good.

[Sassy]

Smart.

[Dave]

Smart thinking. How many brushes do you currently have in one drawer? Is the question.

[Pam]

And combs.

[Dave]

And combs.

[Pam]

Because they. They broke them apart. Here's 10 and 6. Just for you to understand where it could go.

[Dave]

You've got combs and I know there's different types of brushes. Like, there's brushes with like, fine group needles. Needles. Fine needles. That's what it's called now. And one's like the. See, okay, here. There's two brushes in the bucket on our bathroom counter. One is supposed to be mine. And it's just like your run of the mill Conair cheap brush. Right.

[Pam]

What kind of bucket for keeping these brushes in? Okay, so like a barbershop.

[Sassy]

It's a long, wooden, like, dish.

[Dave]

It's a fashion trough.

[Sassy]

Yeah, it's a fashion trough.

[Pam]

I used to get my jeans from

[Dave]

there, but then Tara's got one that's like looks like a mortar shell with a whole bunch of fine needles. And I just use that one now because it actually works with my hair a lot better because I have very fine hair now and that has a lot of little brushes.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Sassy]

I don't remember even why I bought that because it's not for my hair texture at all.

[Dave]

I'll take it.

[Sassy]

Yeah.

[Pam]

Great.

[Dave]

I'll use the dynamo labeler and put my name on it.

[Sassy]

Great.

[Dave]

Don't use my hairbrush anymore.

[Sassy]

Okay.

[Pam]

I don't even think Tara had any of these things.

[Dave]

The answer is nine. You have nine brushes and combs.

[Pam]

I have seven brushes and four combs.

[Dave]

Not too bad. Too off.

[Pam]

Thank You.

[Dave]

Okay, but are the combs different? Do they have different utility?

[Pam]

Okay, absolutely.

[Dave]

They quickly name the comb utilities.

[Pam]

There's a. It's a. It's for your wet hair.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Pam]

I feel like this thing is called, like the wet comb. It's got super wide toothbrush.

[Dave]

Yeah. Okay. All right.

[Pam]

Too. Sorry. Teeth. Super wide teeth.

[Sassy]

Needles.

[Pam]

And we used to call it. We used to call it big comb. That was when he had really long hair. We'll be like, I'm going to use big coat.

[Sassy]

No, not big comb.

[Dave]

You need not to be confused with when you went to the carnival and won a game and they give you that giant comb that was like two feet long.

[Pam]

That's right.

[Dave]

That one's biggest comb.

[Pam]

Yeah, that's right.

[Dave]

Proceed. All right, wide comb.

[Pam]

Then I. Yeah, big, big, big comb. Then I have just like a regular wet hair comb. That's just the normal sized ones. You see the.

[Dave]

Wait a second.

[Pam]

Goody.

[Dave]

Are you telling me when you have wet hair, first you use elder wet comb, and then you move to minor wet comb?

[Pam]

I don't use all 11 of these things every time I'm going to do my hair. It depends on the situation I'm walking up.

[Dave]

Okay, but what's the difference between having wet hair and having to use the big guns and having wet hair and having to use normal wet hair?

[Sassy]

Because you want to comb with wider teeth when your hair is wet because you might have tangles. You don't want a fine tooth comb. Cause it will yank them and break your hair.

[Dave]

So when do you use the smaller wet tooth wet comb?

[Pam]

My hair is at a length now where I'm not getting giant tangles so I don't have to go all the way to big comb.

[Dave]

So why don't you sell the other one on ebay?

[Pam]

Well, because it's a great comb. And who knows? We could all grow our hair out again. We have so much life ahead of us, theoretically. We'll see then. I have a fine tooth comb that is called a rat tail comb. That's so you can make little parts and twisties.

[Sassy]

Yep.

[Pam]

Look at. Dave's so upset about this already. What is this disgust? You asked the question.

[Dave]

Well, you said rat tail.

[Pam]

I mean, that's why I said it, because I knew you were.

[Dave]

I know. I want to know what the comb looks like that you can wrap it around. It's got like a big stick at the end of it.

[Pam]

Yes. It's got a really something that Killing

[Dave]

Eve can use to dispatch you if she. Okay, all right.

[Pam]

Absolutely.

[Sassy]

The Vanille villanelle.

[Pam]

And then there's another one like that, except it's very, very tiny and bristly on the side instead of the little one. So that you can spray and put these little baby hairs down and style them however you want. When you're doing something that's.

[Dave]

Wait, it's like a little grout brush?

[Sassy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pam]

It's like a toothbrush, but not as thick.

[Dave]

Okay, interesting.

[Pam]

That one I suppose you could use for your pubes, but it's not what I'm doing.

[Dave]

All right, well, that's four combs down. Let's go seven. No, we don't.

[Sassy]

Then I have puffy. Yeah.

[Dave]

I mean, seven brushes is a lot, but I don't think I can. It's got to be a different episode. It's gotta be bonus episode. Pants brushes.

[Pam]

Yeah. There's more direst questions to come, I'm sure.

[Sassy]

I'll.

[Pam]

I'll keep them in.

[Dave]

Anyway, I. That was actually an interesting education. I never would have thought that was the world of combs. The universe of combs was so broad.

[Pam]

You can see in the picture provided on About Face, like several of the combs I just talked about, there's pictures of them right there. And I don't even have that one. That's like a pick and a comb.

[Sassy]

Yeah.

[Pam]

Because I don't have curly, curly hair that needs like a sweet pick situation for like volume and stuff. My diffuser and me are not friends.

[Dave]

I bet this is the equivalent of the male bullshit, like beard accessory things, where it's like, here's a beard trimmer with 49 things to clip onto it. So when would I ever need any of this? I just want to shear the shit off my face and get back to the living world.

[Sassy]

Yeah.

[Pam]

I'm currently trying to pull off, like, what happens when you let my hair just like naturally wavy. Do it.

[Sassy]

Oh, yeah, that's cute.

[Dave]

Did you just get back from the beach, Pam? Thanks.

[Pam]

It surfs up and. But the problem is the back of my hair won't do it. And it just sits like a sad. Wayne and Garth just took off his hat.

[Sassy]

Yeah.

[Pam]

And I asked the woman who just trimmed my hair, why is this? And she goes, yeah, some people just only grow it straight on top and wavy everywhere else and like super curly on the bottom.

[Sassy]

Why? Why are we like this?

[Pam]

There's no evolutionary reason for this.

[Dave]

Surely science has an answer for you, Pam. I hate it so much in a three ounce bottle waiting for you.

[Pam]

I've tried. Don't get me started on how many 3 ounce bottles I have in the hair drawer.

[Sassy]

Pam, if you want I can give you my recommendation my recommendations off Mike for products you can put in wet hair that will have it dry wavy.

[Dave]

You want to know why? Off mic. You know what the secret is? It's a Nazi gold.

[Sassy]

No, this is a secret I've only give to my friends. I don't want everyone to know. Okay, fine. It's manipulator. It's like in a little blue pomade jar by Machiavelli.

[Pam]

Yes, that was my derby name.

[Sassy]

Anyway, to. To answer a question you raised earlier, Pam, about why I have a brush at all. I have one round brush and I use it when I'm blow drying my bangs so they don't get weird. That's the only thing I use it for. And I have one comb that I put through my hair when I get out of the shower to for my part, that's it.

[Dave]

And I just want to make clear.

[Pam]

I cannot believe how long we're still talking about brushes.

[Dave]

I know that's the way this goes sometimes, but I want to say the only reason I usually use that brush is when I get out of the shower and I just want to see what I'm going to look like as a little boy in an old man suit. And then I mess it up again with my hands. So I don't really use the comb for anything functional.

[Sassy]

It's just like it's for dress up

[Dave]

53 year old little boy. Where's my pills?

[Sassy]

Sometimes you also use it when your hair is like, I'll say a couple of days out from having been shampooed. You use it to brush your hair straight up like the heat miser.

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sassy]

And that looks amazing.

[Pam]

Put down that Kool Aid. Sassy's like, oh, sorry. Remember when we told you to put Kool Aid in your hair and Pam was like don't we have decided to

[Dave]

ask me if I remember Dave.

[Sassy]

Dave doesn't remember.

[Pam]

Do you remember? Ask me Dave, do you remember when they told us not to put Kool Aid in our hair?

[Dave]

Oh yeah.

[Sassy]

We kind of worked right into it through a wall.

[Dave]

Did you not see that cutting?

[Sassy]

No, I didn't.

[Dave]

I was at un. I was like, I would like a telegram, please. Yes, to Pam Ribbon and Tatara as well. Sure, why not?

[Pam]

Oh, is Peter DeLuise on the phone?

[Sassy]

All right.

[Pam]

I still think he could call a few of you told us the cherry Kool Aid color recommended by Cathera of Nebraska back in May didn't wash out as quickly as promised. Especially for permed or color traded color treated hair. But you can drink it, though, you guys.

[Sassy]

Dave, we should do this with your hair. Cause your hair is. It's light enough that it might take

[Dave]

the color of Kool Aid. Actually using Kool Aid.

[Sassy]

Yeah.

[Dave]

And it washes away how quickly?

[Sassy]

Not as quickly as they said.

[Pam]

Yeah, okay, but what.

[Dave]

Okay, wait, wait, wait. What? What color?

[Sassy]

Whatever color you want.

[Dave]

No, no, don't place it on me. What color?

[Sassy]

Oh, I was gonna say blue, but pink would be cute. Pink could be cute.

[Pam]

You took a little.

[Dave]

Problem is when you see people that are. I don't know how long it takes for that to fade out, but they're like, let's say a month away from having it done. And they got that skunky, weird band between their roots and where the dye is still somewhat of the color. It looks terrible. Yeah, I'm just worried about that. That people are gonna see me and beat me up and then my bum will be showing. I won't get help.

[Pam]

Kool Aid hair dye on gray hair typically lasts three to six weeks or 10 to 20 washes.

[Dave]

Oh, that's a lot.

[Pam]

Because gray hair is porous. That was what I was. I wanted to check. Cause that was my concern. Especially reds and blues will last longer than expected.

[Dave]

I would let you do a test patch. Like. Yeah, pink or green or blue or green. Yeah, any one of those.

[Sassy]

I would say, why don't we do it like a week before you're about to get your hair cut because then most of it will get cut out. And then you don't have to live with it.

[Pam]

All right, that's very smart.

[Dave]

Okay. But I don't want the whole head. I just want a little test patch.

[Sassy]

All right. All right. Putting Kool Aid on the shopping list so I remember to get it.

[Pam]

Amazing. It's like five packets, Tara.

[Sassy]

Okay, thank you.

[Dave]

Really. Oh, for the whole head. We're just doing a little bit, I

[Pam]

think, to make your concentrate. Why not have more than less?

[Dave]

You can drink it.

[Pam]

Yeah, you can drink it. It's gonna be fine. Finally, we have mascara wisdom. One of our fave makeup artists, the oft mentioned, Sandrine Van Slee, has this hint for those of us with sensitive eyes. When you're auditioning a new mascara, hold the open wand near your eyeball for a few seconds. If the mascara is going to be irritating, you'll feel it through the air. Your eyes might sting or start blinking. What in the macrobiotic witchery is this shit?

[Dave]

Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Merlin of them.

[Pam]

Maybe it's formaldehyde.

[Sassy]

What are we talking about? Wow. Yeah. That's crazy.

[Pam]

If the stuff's gentle enough for you though, you won't feel a thing. I don't know what my eyes can sense in the air in a mascara that some people would be fine with. I don't. I don't understand this one. It has to be formaldehyde. Like, I don't even know what else it could be.

[Sassy]

Yeah, that's weird.

[Dave]

It's time to talk about the ads in Sassy. Trying to make some money. Not doing a great job of it. First one. Well, prove me wrong. Isn't that their whole story? They fucked up at the start and they're not getting as many ads as they need to.

[Sassy]

That is true overall. But like I said before we even barked on this issue, it's one of the longest ones.

[Dave]

It is. Well, hope springs eternal. And we start at page two and three. Gitano water safety ad featuring two people in nautical fashions. Sort of. The lady is jumping on the guy. I'm so happy to see you on the thinnest little plank to their boat. They are definitely in the drink. Two seconds after this their katana wears. Sodden and ruined.

[Sassy]

Yep.

[Dave]

Because that marina is full of goo. Probably rip those guys. That's right. I moved them up. They're now dead. And then the next ad, another two page spread sort of is for cover girl marathon mascara. And I'm bringing this up. I think maybe we've even seen this ad before, but haven't remarked on it. But it's got. Isn't this a covergirl from. I mean a sassy cover girl?

[Sassy]

Yep, she's from the December 88 issue.

[Dave]

What is she wearing?

[Sassy]

She's wearing like a ski suit.

[Dave]

What's a ski suit like?

[Sassy]

It's thin enough that you are like aerodynamic.

[Dave]

She thinks she's in the Olympics.

[Sassy]

It's lycra. Yeah, Yeah.

[Dave]

I don't buy it. Plus, I feels like the pose here, she's cost crunchy skiing. So you know you would get cold fast.

[Sassy]

Sure.

[Dave]

You just don't get your two minutes down the hill and you get to go in the chalet. You're out there for. It's two against the North Barley Moet. Look it up.

[Pam]

It looks like they might be called cat suits in the fashion world.

[Dave]

I don't like it.

[Pam]

Okay, good.

[Dave]

I mean, I like it so much. And then the person whose magazine we have also didn't like it because the other half of the page spread is I could create a covergirl ad, no problem. And she starts to fill it out because she was so just what the is she wearing? Says Nancy Ellis of Pennsylvania.

[Sassy]

We have her full address here and phone number. And Kirk. What the school she was going to in grade 10, I assume.

[Dave]

Pam Dockster.

[Pam]

I did it. I tried it all. What I did learn is that whatever Nancy's house looked like when she lived at 127 Dixon Road, it doesn't look like that anymore because.

[Dave]

Wow, that's dedication. You went to Google Street View?

[Pam]

Yes, it. Well, no, I went to Zillow. And you could learn that the house is only a certain number of years old and it was like, built in 2000 or something, so.

[Dave]

So Nancy lived in a dump.

[Pam]

Well, probably. I didn't look up much about Climber. I don't know. But nor did I see if Penis Manor Junior Senior High School, as they clearly called it when you went there for if it still exists.

[Sassy]

Every time I look at it, that's what I read initially before it resolves into.

[Dave]

Never mind. The part in the middle where you get to Junior Senior High School. That's another thing that's weird about this.

[Sassy]

Yeah. That's like. All right.

[Dave]

Okay. So once upon a time, there was a guy. Either the guy's name was Penis or he had another name and he had a giant penis and people just called him Penis. He was a good local businessman. He was able to save money and build himself a manor, known henceforth as Penis Manor.

[Sassy]

Right.

[Dave]

And then he became a philanthropist for left guy who gives money away. And then his son took over and did all the same thing. And he was beloved and they named the school after him. So we got Penis Manor Junior Senior High School. That's the story of how we got there.

[Pam]

Yeah. Where bright futures begin. I'm just trying to see what the mascot is. Because it still exists.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pam]

And wait, let's guess.

[Dave]

What is it, Tara? Guess. U.S. minuteman eggplant.

[Pam]

I'm digging deep in here. I'm digging deep in here. They the penis. Oh, they're the Comets. They're the Comets.

[Sassy]

Comets.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Sassy]

That's cute.

[Dave]

That's spoogy.

[Pam]

And because they don't want you thinking about penises at all. It looks like some swimming sperm.

[Sassy]

Page 10. We've got an ad for Xena Basic Jeans, starring Elaine Irwin, future wife of John Cougar Mellencamp. I'm pretty sure. And leaving aside basic as a positive here, I guess she's in like a Sort of anorak jacket. And I don't know what's going on with her left boob. This is a very unflattering pose. It looks like she's in some kind of Pedro Almodovar, like, you know, body horror situation, because it's, like, very lumpy, and her stomach is sticking out in a very strange way. It's like, it's so unflattering when you actually look at it. Other than her hair, she is not selling anything in this ad.

[Dave]

I mean, part of it is that the actual clothes she's wearing are very washed out in the photo. And even when you get to, like, the shoulder area, it's really hard to distinguish between what is her shoulder, what is this tank top or whatever she's wearing.

[Sassy]

Yes.

[Dave]

And then what in the Elephant man is happening with the coat over her shoulder there with. It kind of looks like skin as well. It's all sort of the same color, so there's a lot of exposure choices here that were wrong in the actual photo. But, yeah, her boob just looks like it's straight down. It's just like gravity is absolute. We're on Jupiter right now, and considering

[Sassy]

some of the genes in this issue that we're about to talk about that are absolutely hideous, like, these genes look okay. There's no reason to hide them with. With this. This. This light treatment, you could put a

[Dave]

square on her cleavage line there.

[Sassy]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Like, look how straight it is.

[Sassy]

I know what I'm saying. It's a perfectly straight line.

[Dave]

It is. It really is.

[Sassy]

Yeah. It's weird.

[Dave]

Her boob triangle is like something from a geometry textbook. You want to learn about Pythagoras?

[Sassy]

Let's move on with boobs.

[Pam]

Thanks, Dave.

[Sassy]

Let's move on to page 15. And I want to apologize to our listener, because the original version of our PDF that I that we put up on our Patreon did not include this page and the one next to it. I just missed scanning them. I apologize.

[Dave]

It's up there now, so if you downloaded it, grab the new one for the. Those two pages.

[Sassy]

Thank you. This is an ad for no Excuses for Girls, and I think we have previously seen a no Excuses ad, or maybe it was in another one of my many teen magazines that I read for various podcast purposes with Marla Maples in it. But this one is a teenager, because this is no Excuses for Girls. Looking real sassy in the middle of a page. About ten no's in the life of an almost teenager. Number one. No 900 numbers. Number two. No padded bras. Number three. No Arsenio Hall. What? Number four. No high heels. Sure. Number five. No Victoria's Secret lingerie. Absolutely. Number six. No Madonna's Truth or Dare.

[Pam]

Ooh.

[Sassy]

Number seven. No American Express card. Number eight. No thong bikinis. Yes. Number nine. No R rated movies unless you sneak in. Number ten. But thank heaven, no excuses for girls at Sears. And this is the most at Sears head to toe look I've ever seen.

[Dave]

She is dressed as the Maryland state flag.

[Sassy]

She is.

[Pam]

I get it, I get it. These are the things your parents say no to.

[Sassy]

Yes.

[Pam]

Okay.

[Sassy]

Yes.

[Pam]

That's why Arsenio Hall TM is on there. Not because they're like, ew. No. No. Truth or dare.

[Sassy]

No, but what I mean, I, I guess, you know, he was on at 11, but otherwise, like, I didn't think Arsenio was that risque.

[Dave]

Hang on. Is it no excuses. The brand of jeans that was like, here's this person in the sex scandal.

[Sassy]

Yes. For adults. But this is no excuses.

[Dave]

Yes. Thank you very much for making that difference. But I'm saying this brand is that brand, right? Yes.

[Sassy]

That's why I said we. There's the Marla Maples ad.

[Dave]

Marla Maples. Thank you. Yeah.

[Sassy]

Someone else scandalous happened.

[Dave]

It was one of the.

[Sassy]

It was one of the Iran Contro ladies or something.

[Dave]

Yeah. Wasn't it also one of the maybe had sex with the president people?

[Sassy]

Maybe.

[Dave]

Yeah. Anyway, also this person, in addition to looking like the. The Maryland state flag, also looks like what I believe most Americans think European cops look like a lot checkers and like yellow stripes for some reason. Doesn't scream cop to me. No wonder they have such a problem over there with whatever I think they have a problem with.

[Sassy]

Yeah. These pants are very like fast food kitchen and they're stirrup pants, which we were not doing anymore in 1991.

[Dave]

I'm ordering a burger and a malt from this person. Absolutely.

[Pam]

And they're also really baggy stirrup pants around her ankle. Like clown pants pants. Yeah, they're baggy stirrup pants.

[Sassy]

Oh, God.

[Pam]

When you, when you really zoom in around her knee, you're like, no.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Sassy]

Bad fucking Sears. Glad you're dead. Then we have a series of ads, page 17, 19 and 21, all Levi's jeans for women. And they're sort of done in different art styles. But what unites them all is the blue jeans that the female figures are wearing, including woman combing hair in the first one, woman Eddies in the second one, and woman with gold Hoops in the last one. I definitely remember this campaign. They were obviously trying to do something very cool. Even though the coolest thing a woman can do with Levi's is Wear 501s is what everyone was doing. Like these were cut to be curvier, I guess, but they didn't end up looking as cool as just the right pair of 501s. But they tried. They did something. They did something bold with this campaign. I'm sure people were ripping these out and putting them up on their walls because you wanted to collect them all. But he really nailed it on the first one.

[Dave]

Yeah. I don't know if this company is an American company that came to Canada, but I'm sure you could insert your version of it. Is the Imaginist poster sale at university where they take over a couple halls and you walk down and that first drawing, something very similar to it is always at the front.

[Sassy]

Yep.

[Dave]

And then right next to it for some reason is a 1970s poster of Lord of the Rings with Gandalf token it up, which was the other thing you would see a lot in those.

[Pam]

Yeah, these look to me like nail salon or hair salon art that's on the walls kind of.

[Dave]

It's sort of like we got to put down the Nagels and this is what we're going to put up instead because we're modernizing.

[Sassy]

Dave, I'm excited to tell you that on January 7, 2026, there was an Imaginus poster sale at University of Victoria Students Society.

[Dave]

Yep. That totally tracks. And God bless them for still being in business. God bless empty dorm room walls, I guess.

[Sassy]

Yep.

[Dave]

Around that time is when the scourge of here is an art poster. But we feel like we need to tell you what it is under the guise of the museum it came from or something like that. It's like Mona Lisa. Oh, thank you very much for that information. Think you could just make the picture bigger on the poster? No, we can't do that. Sorry.

[Pam]

Oh, my gosh. Like Merry go Round has a three page spread here, but I'm not gonna get far past this first image. And I know that we say a lot of the times this is the worst fashion I've seen in Sassy. But this Reese Witherspoon looking girl is wearing just a contraption. It's not even clothes. I don't know what they've from. From hair to cow shorts. This is cow shorts with denim suspenders on top of a cow. Two patterned cow and zebra top with sheer sleeves.

[Dave]

I believe it's actually giraffe and zebra up top.

[Sassy]

I think you're right.

[Pam]

Oh, my gosh, you're right. It's giraffe and zebra, and then you think it's giraffe and not cow. I don't know. I get what you're saying.

[Dave]

That's not cow. That's giraffe.

[Pam]

Then door knocker earrings.

[Sassy]

So they really hurt. They definitely hurt her ears.

[Pam]

She's wincing from them. Even the buttons are ridiculous. Every single. She's just trying to hide one element of whatever, the belt. If the belt could be worse. I don't know. It does have pockets.

[Sassy]

Well, she is. We're in belt and suspenders, so that's never good.

[Dave]

Did you mention the sheer sleeves yet?

[Pam]

She did, yes. The sheer sleeves that are cuffed in the, in non sheer. And of course, black tights. This is heinous.

[Sassy]

Oh, it's hideous. It's so hideous.

[Dave]

Don't have to go on safari. She is the safari.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Sassy]

But you have to also talk about the jeans on the inside, because they are, I mean, I won't say worse, but they're also real bad.

[Pam]

They're all bad. Everybody else is wearing, like lattice, like when you want your garden to grow. Like, they're just lattices on their jeans and their sleeves and the back of their jackets, which I don't, I, I, I kind of remember this look. It does not do well after rain.

[Dave]

Okay, Noma looking girl in the second photo.

[Sassy]

That's Rebeccaard for sure.

[Dave]

Oh, it is okay. Looking so much like her. It is her. Dave.

[Pam]

Yep.

[Dave]

As Pam says, there's a lot of lattice work on this jacket. First of all, defeating the purpose of the jean jacket. One of the most important things about a jacket is it keeps you warm. So the whole back where you would usually put your rock band applique back in the 80s on, is 60% whole. But then also all along the back of the sleeves is this lattice work. And at the cuff of her shorts is also this. So you can buy matching shorts with this jean jacket. It really looks like somebody said, give me that pie top look. And they're like, yes, okay. Of course. We know exactly what you mean.

[Pam]

These are groupy clothes. These are.

[Sassy]

Oh, yeah.

[Pam]

These are for you to wear tiny little bustiers under and just show as much skin as possible and stand on

[Sassy]

the stage door at the White Snake show hoping they'll let you come backstage.

[Dave]

100 blow them. Yeah, absolutely.

[Sassy]

The worst part of the sleeves too, is anytime you're at rest in them, like, if you you know, lean. You know, you're in class listening, you're gonna get impressions in your skin.

[Dave]

Oh, I thought you got to snag them on things.

[Sassy]

Oh, that too.

[Dave]

You go to get a drink and it snags on the straw in front of you, and you pull the whole drink down when you come back. Yeah. Birds start nesting in your jean jacket. Speaking of jeans, Lee jeans, the brand that fits. They fit so snug. You need to unzip them in three places to get them off. Dot, dot, dot. No, thank you. What are the three places you need to zip these off? You got. I see leg zipper.

[Sassy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave]

I'm gonna assume we got the old classic crotch zipper.

[Sassy]

Yeah.

[Dave]

And then where else?

[Sassy]

Those are three places. One ankle, the other ankle, and you're crotch.

[Dave]

They're cheating. They're cheating. I wanted three different ones, like an ass zipper or something.

[Sassy]

It says it in the copy. One at the waist, two at the ankle. Zip, zip, zip.

[Dave]

Okay, I didn't read the copy. I'm too busy. What about zippers at the kneecaps? To vent your kneecaps.

[Sassy]

I'm sure someone has done it.

[Pam]

They make those.

[Dave]

You open it up.

[Pam]

Those are. Those were popular in the odds that you had. You had removable leg fronts so you could have shorts.

[Dave]

I just want, like, a zipper halfway around so that when it opens up and people see my knee, they can see the eyeball tattoo I have on it. So I can open up my jeans and look at people, but I have to pull up my kilt first.

[Pam]

They said high knees, Dave, not eye knees. We've talked about hypercolor before, Dave. That's what I was told the last time I tried to talk about hyper color.

[Sassy]

We have, but this is a new ad.

[Dave]

This is a new ad, Pam. Gotcha.

[Pam]

All right, fine.

[Dave]

I followed the rules. Hyper color white wine spritzer. Boy, did everybody want want a hyper color shirt so badly for four days and then the first person to wear to school. First of all, the placing of hands on them. Probably not great for them. And then we're all like, oh, that's it, is it? Well, no, thank you.

[Sassy]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Also see mugs that change scenes based on hot or cold water.

[Sassy]

Yep. I brought this up on our sister podcast, Extra Hot. Great. This week because we were talking about Love Story just set in the 1990s. It's about John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carolyn Bessette, and John F. Kennedy Jr. Wears a hyper color shirt in the fourth episode on a date.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Sassy]

Driving her around in his boat. You don't ever really see it change color Because I'm not sure it was an authentic hyper color shirt or just a regular shirt they printed hyper color on.

[Dave]

Yeah, I was trying to think what. I'm sure this has come back a couple times since then. I'm sure the street wear kids just love this shit now. Although you can't buy vintage, I assume because it wouldn't work anymore.

[Sassy]

Probably not.

[Dave]

But I think the modern equivalent would be if somebody can make a shirt out of vanta black ink. You know that ink that has absolutely no reflective properties and it just looks like a complete void. No matter how much is wrinkled or what the texture is on it. It just looks like an Acme hole in the wall kind of thing. They can make sure side of that. That would be really trippy.

[Sassy]

Yeah.

[Dave]

If you just see somebody walking around with a void in their.

[Sassy]

Yes. It's a good way to induce psychotic breaks in strangers.

[Pam]

East pack. This is a dumb ad. So what you get out of it is what you put into it. Here are three pictures fractured of a girl holding her east pack in three different interpretations of how one could have a backpack. One is some slobby girl, I guess.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pam]

But she's not. She's like preppy. But I don't know.

[Dave]

Grandma slept over.

[Pam]

Got Grammy.

[Sassy]

Yeah.

[Pam]

She's biting her nails. She's very nervous. It looks like a waitress.

[Dave]

Yeah. I was gonna say this is grandma's walk of shame. Let's just call it for what it is.

[Pam]

Yeah. Number two, you have. I'm so bendy, I've thrown my socks haphazardly in front of my east pack so that I can take off some of my clothes down to my box or. Oh, no, it's. Maybe they're tights. My leggings put up my. Like a yoga pose where one hand, I'm holding my granny glasses. In the other hand, one shoe. And I've also got a bando.

[Sassy]

Yes. And then she's doing the Ella McKay challenge before Ella McKay go on.

[Dave]

Glasses off, sexy grandma.

[Sassy]

Yep.

[Pam]

Third, I guess just a wild lady now. She's like, toss all the on the floor. Let me hold my east pack lovingly as I know another yoga pose now

[Dave]

getting the backpack lover.

[Pam]

I didn't realize. Yeah, I guess I didn't realize the east pack is like take off your glasses and undo your bow. And this librarian goes fucking yoga for her east pack.

[Sassy]

Yeah.

[Pam]

And in fact, nobody's ever opening the backpack, taking anything out of the backpack or putting things. Anything into the backpack. So it doesn't even make sense to say what you get out of it is what you put into it. She's just holding a backpack.

[Dave]

Check out our immutable backpacks.

[Sassy]

Yeah, but I will say the pose in the last one. Dave, you remember the episode of Taskmaster from the Bridget Christie season where they

[Dave]

had to pretend they were in Karate Kid? No.

[Sassy]

Get as many steps as they could with a pedometer on and she like could not understand the concept of like taking a step and just was like walking around with their legs all.

[Dave]

It's got Ministry of suddenly walks vibes for sure.

[Sassy]

This is what it looks like to me.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Sassy]

On page 52 to 53 we got a two page spread about a bold hold. Bold new use sweepstakes. You can enter. I'm not going to read all the fine print because.

[Dave]

Sorry, Pam.

[Sassy]

Sorry Pam. You got to read it on your own.

[Dave]

But approximate retail value $5,000 20 bracket 2 0. First prizes.

[Sassy]

On the left page you got basic you. And then on the right page, bold new you with the curliest hair you ever did see. Basic you. I'll just say it looks better Basic you.

[Dave]

Seems comfortable in her own skin. She does bold new you. Looks terrified.

[Sassy]

She's doing too much.

[Dave]

Smile. Is this enough? Please release my family after this bolt hold.

[Sassy]

And this T shirt is so ugly. This bold hole T shirt they made

[Pam]

her wear, it's very stiff.

[Sassy]

I'm sure those are Lee jeans she's wearing. Also within a light wash. But the reason this caught my eye was the reference to basic you in sort of the way that we use basic now, which I didn't remember being a thing in the 90s. Anyway. Basic you. You're enough. Don't try so hard.

[Pam]

Page 55, we have a really ugly outfit for five.

[Sassy]

So ugly I.

[Pam]

This is so ridiculous. She's just in this like red cardigan. Everything is the tartan, the approved kilt tartan with a tie and shorts and slouchy socks that I'm wearing right now. And ridiculous hoops. But at the bottom it says, hey, bring in a card with your name, address and age on it and get a 10% discount on any purchase made in August. Don't do that. Do not do that.

[Sassy]

I mean, don't go into the store at all if this is the shit they're selling.

[Dave]

This company does not have the courage of its convictions. 5, 7, 9 carries junior sizes 01, 3, 5, 7, 9. What is it? Better get your story straight.

[Pam]

You thought we were done with these. Get the shape you love ads where you have to mail a thing in and then they're going to tell you how you can lose whatever or gain whatever. It's just this simple thing where you don't have to exercise, eat anything, count anything, do anything, but send in some money. And then they're going to tell you the secret to have to go from a shapeless, boring body or a too shapely body to a sexy one. And this one is very annoying because it's like not getting enough men looking at you every time. Are men not looking at you? Are men not looking at you? Then you just mail this thing in and in 14 days or your money back, men are gonna look at you. Then at the bottom it says, it promises you can just spot choose like what is wrong with you. And they will only send you the parts of your body that need improvement, like how to do it. So at the bottom it's got like personal body type and problem spot form. Put an X in the boxes that apply to your personal problem areas. You can check off as many boxes as you like. And feel free to add any special notes on another sheet of paper.

[Sassy]

Oh my gosh.

[Pam]

The general body type is either type 1, I am overweight, I need to reshape my problem spots for a sleeker, more graceful and toned body. Or type 2, I am too skinny. I need more shape and curves in all the right places for a more eye catching figure. Now these are the parts of my body that need improvement and there are 20 options.

[Dave]

Do you want me to play bossa nova music under this while you do it?

[Pam]

There's just one that is crazy. And it is the top of column two that says wrists. And if you have been shamed into hating only your wrists, fuck everyone you've ever met in your life.

[Sassy]

What?

[Pam]

Who's just walking around like, these wrists

[Sassy]

are both too skinny and too fat.

[Dave]

What if you have one wrist that is skinny and one wrist that is fat, that might be hard.

[Pam]

It had to have happened enough to go up here above hands and under upper arms, right? There's no like for whatever reason, elbows, which I think maybe it's not a problem area in your teens. But eventually you're just like, these elbows are too dry and too wet. But like there's outer thighs and inner thighs and upper arms and upper back and lower back buttocks. Bust again. Other. Get another sheet of paper.

[Dave]

Kids actually don't enumerate what the ideal guy bod is. Right?

[Pam]

That's right. Whatever you don't have in your head. Yes, it's whatever you think you don't.

[Dave]

Well, let's go through it. Do I want to see a face? Yes. Chin? Absolutely. Neck, shoulders, upper arms. Want them all? Wrist, hands? Yes. Can I have hands without wrist? Perhaps we'll see. Stomach, hip, inner thighs. Sure. Outer thighs.

[Sassy]

Yes.

[Dave]

Got to have them both. Knees, calves, ankles, feet, upper back, lower back, buttocks, bust. And of course, my favorite other.

[Sassy]

But I want to know, if this is for your body, what happens if you just check off face? Like, what is it going to do to your face?

[Pam]

It's a great question. It's going to make your face stand out more.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Sassy]

Oh, okay.

[Pam]

It says you follow the Medi Cal system faithfully and day by day, inch by inch. You'll see and feel amazing changes starting to take take place as your body grows sleeker, sexier and more shapely wherever you need it. And that's exactly why medi cal is so effective, simply because it lets you decide how you want to look ahead of time. A body that gets you noticed even in clothes. You don't have to be in a bikini for everyone to know whether you have a good body or a bad one. Medi Cal can give you the kind of body that lets you wear clothes that show off a beautiful figure all year long. Not even heavy sweaters or loose, baggy clothes can hide the feminine, sexy curves of a medical body. And watch how your firm, shapely new body stands out in tighter clothing. See how smooth and slinky your body looks with every movement, how just walking down the street turns heads and how great you'll feel having the shape guys love. It all happens in just 14 days. It must do everything exactly as we have promised or you don't pay a penny. And then it says, when your package arrives, we want you to use it. Go ahead. Let medical reshape, tone and beautify your body. Use it as much as you like to help solve your figure problems.

[Dave]

But while we're on the package in the actual form, they say the package will be delivered to you in a plain envelope so nobody can see your shame.

[Pam]

Oh, my gosh. This is crazy. Yes, I want to have a body guide's love. I'm tired of not getting noticed. Rush me Medi Cal immediately. What is in this dumb little unmarked package?

[Sassy]

Tapeworm.

[Dave]

All right, let's move on.

[Pam]

Move on to Blemish Control on page 108. Blemish control in giant giant letters. And the next right under it in all caps. Aromatherapy. Fast, effective, chemical free blend. Promotes healing almost instantly. Free perfume, oil and catalog with first Order shipping, no charge to body naturals. No animal testing. Sorry, New Jersey. Add 7%.

[Dave]

Sorry, are we saying chemical free blend and they just accidentally put a dot in between those? Or is it chemical free blend? You don't have to mix it up yourself. We'll do it for you. Free blend.

[Pam]

It's aromatherapy, so you shouldn't even put it on yourself really. But anyway, I guess you put this thing that promotes. It's just tea tree oil. I don't know what we're even talking about. It's obviously tea tree oil. But a lot of mystery around blemish control aromatherapy.

[Dave]

I mean, the other one they didn't screw up was no animal testing. It would have been funny if it was. No, no, no animal testing. Oh, we're killing so many rabbits you wouldn't believe it.

[Sassy]

Yeah, that's what's happening in the ad, right? Two under it. Make a career out of your love of animals testing blemish control aromatherapy on them?

[Dave]

Yes, that's right.

[Pam]

That dog definitely has something in his eyes.

[Sassy]

We can skip Nanette Laree Enterprises if you want. Well.

[Pam]

Well, it's up to you. It's not.

[Dave]

Let's just describe what it looks like, if nothing else. Because in the doc I changed the title of it to Courier. Because this ad was made on somebody's personal typewriter and it has seen some shit.

[Sassy]

On the bottom right Corner of page 109 we get this. A sad looking person, gender honestly unknown. It's hard to tell from this drawing, from this photograph.

[Pam]

I think it's a dude not giving you attention.

[Sassy]

Okay. Green suede pumps, crash diets, dance class, spiral perms, advice from Sassy Guess Parfum, candy apple nail polish, anything leather lipstick, sealed letters, tickets to you too close up Toothpaste.

[Dave]

What?

[Sassy]

You do all the above to gain his attention. If you want to keep him, you need to read this. How to Survive Dating in College. Read it and get the guy you want. Send 795 in money order to Nanette Laree Enterprises, 2131 North Collins, Suite 433, Arlington, Texas.

[Dave]

The love capital.

[Sassy]

The capital of love. So I did look up this lady. I did not go as far as Pam did, apparently.

[Dave]

Pam knocks on doors.

[Sassy]

Hernandez, as she was later known, also wrote, men Only Want Sex and their Freedom and Creative Screwing Colon. A Woman's Guide to Becoming an Erotic Enchantress of Super Lustful Sex. And the photo of her on Amazon, on her Amazon author page is extraordinary. She's got a lot of hair.

[Dave]

She's got A lot of chutzpah.

[Sassy]

He's making a very sort of sarcastic. I won't say it's a come hither look. She looks like you, ain't she? Actually, it's piled so high on top, she looks like she could be in a John Waters movie. Also, because she is maybe naked or

[Dave]

a Coco Chanel spread. Well, their hair, the wig. Callback. All right, fine.

[Sassy]

She's possibly naked with a pink feather boa wrapped around her. There's a lot of personality coming through this photo.

[Dave]

Yeah, it's giving real 1991. I'm Winona Ryder's mom.

[Pam]

Yes.

[Dave]

And I need to be famous too.

[Sassy]

Yes.

[Pam]

She.

[Sassy]

She made a lot of videos later in life with this outfit. I'm gonna guess set to I Touch

[Dave]

Myself by Divinyls what is close up toothpaste?

[Sassy]

Close up toothpaste. It's just a toothpaste that advertised someone that was like kissing the brand.

[Dave]

Of course. I remember now. Yeah, I thought it was toothpaste. It was like HDTV toothpaste. Because you can see the tartar now with those 4K televisions.

[Pam]

She also wrote about the war against men and the slow cancerous spread of misandry, beginning with the second wave feminism and its consensual six and a half decades of misplaced rage, hysterical incrimination and sexual terrorism against men. 50 Shades of Fraudulent feminism.

[Dave]

Finally somebody said men.

[Pam]

And then feminist accepted logic. Men are misogynistic pigs if they want their dicks sucked, but women need their eaten because they come better from oral sex and other things that she wrote. Oh, my God, I hope your kids aren't in the car. The only war on women is a female civil war. Women are fighting women and women invalidating dated love and romance. She wrote. Why we stick our tongue out when we concentrate, she wrote. And then she died.

[Sassy]

Okay.

[Pam]

She died in 2023 in Western Australia. She was born on July 4 and her favorite song was Katy Perry's Firework, a song she believed most people needed to hear.

[Sassy]

Page 112. We got an ad for Bic pens. Bic wavelengths. Seven cool ways to write. Right every time. The newest wave in writing. And this took me back because my mother bought these for me when I was going into grade 11. She thought they were just neat.

[Pam]

They are neat.

[Dave]

They are.

[Sassy]

I used them. But this is not what I was chosen for myself. Dave knows I have very specific pen preferences.

[Dave]

Yeah, she does.

[Pam]

And I did.

[Sassy]

Even then.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pam]

On our last page. Our ad on the last page is for Clarion. It's A picture of a grown woman in front of a plate of French fries and a glass of water.

[Dave]

Oh, and those friend. Okay, she's at, like a. First of all, she's at a fancy restaurant with just a plate of fries. Second of all, those fries just came out of the toaster oven. Because those are not fries you get at a restaurant.

[Sassy]

Those are McCain's favorite fries.

[Pam]

Dave, I want to say that obviously Clarion is working on you because there's no proof this is a fancy restaurant at all. She's at a little, tiny marble coffee shop thing.

[Dave]

Look at that glass. That's a fancy glass.

[Sassy]

Yeah, you don't get a glass. You don't get a water glass like that at a diner.

[Dave]

That's not a diner glass. I mean, burgundy and gold tones in the background. That could be the lighting. But I think it's this. I mean, you think she dresses like this to go to a diner pant?

[Pam]

I think you don't know sometimes where he's going to take you. And then you end up here fumbling a crinkle fry. It is not her 11th finger. It is, actually. It requires all 10 fingers to put one fry near her mouth and not eat it. Julie is so hungry. And then. So here we learn more about the Lady Mary behind the fry. What makes you different can make you beautiful. Julie, amused, claims to be a homebody. But the eyes tell a different story. Who fucking knows what that means? Hazel blue eyes. No, wheat brown hair. Her custom Clarion shadow. And then there's just a picture of a eyeshadow palette. Pueblo Hughes soft color. Splendid effect. Find your best face. The Clarion computer shows you how. I had completely forgotten about the Clarion computer. A staple. It's your records where you would learn your face could just. Depending on what you put in there, you had a different face every time. And those things lasted for so long. I cannot find a Clarion computer face on ebay to buy. They have to sell them somewhere. There were so many of them.

[Sassy]

Yep. Also, this palette is four colors, which the eye makeup encyclopedia clearly told us do not do.

[Pam]

Yeah, one I guess you can just pop on your cheeks or your. Or your lips.

[Sassy]

Well, or maybe you use like, the three lightest for daytime and the three darkest for nighttime, perhaps. There you go.

[Pam]

That's great.

[Dave]

Also, this makeup turns you into Amanda Pete, apparently. Yeah, that's not Julie.

[Pam]

How do you eat a fry? 11 fingers or 12?

[Sassy]

720. Sassy. Go.

[Dave]

Really? I can't tell what's going on with her hands otherwise, though.

[Sassy]

Yeah, they're like, mashed together in a very weird way.

[Pam]

She was in the middle of showing all the people from the the steeple. She's like halfway around and here's a French fry. Open the doors.

[Dave]

What is a mass of fingers called? You know, like a murder of crows?

[Sassy]

A tickle.

[Dave]

A tangle.

[Sassy]

A thickest tangle of finger.

[Pam]

Yeah, a tickle is great.

[Dave]

I went to use the Dr. Scholl's computer at the CVS at the corner of Beverly and San Vicente. Is that it? I felt the same way. I was like, oh, finally the computer's telling me what insole I need to stop my feet from hurting. And I got it and I put it in and my feet hurt so much more. So much more that I stopped using it. Only recently have I gone to a real doctor who gave me a real thing. And it was a miracle. My feet stop hurting within days. So I actually should probably look into getting replacements for that.

[Sassy]

Yep.

[Dave]

All right, put it on the list. And that was sassy ass. I've reached a goofy point. Oh, we still got the show left.

[Sassy]

All right, let's do it fast. On page 12, we got the diary, your list of random facts about the RM Shiny Happy people video, because Jane is in it and you can find her.

[Dave]

How many extra mentions of REM do we have in this magazine because of this connection? Like, how many would we get naturally? And how many did we actually get?

[Sassy]

I mean, it's probably five times as many as any other teen magazine because she did know Michael Stipe personally.

[Dave]

And do you think they got that ad that's always in the back free? There's always an RM Club ad in the back.

[Sassy]

Yeah, I bet they did. Okay, Jane, famously, you remember this, if you were alive at the time, is in a black baby doll dress covered in white daisies. And this was a popular dress at the time. Donna also wore it on Beverly Hills 90210. The screenshot I found, I'm pretty sure is from the back half of season one, when they go to Palm Springs. So that would have been this year as well. Jane also mentions Catherine, the video director. She has a last name. It's Diekman. She went to Vassar and nyu. She worked as a journalist and critic before she started directing. She went on to direct a couple of feature films, which I have not seen, and some episodes of the Adventures of Pete and Pete, which I know Michael Stipe also guessed it on, but I haven't seen that either. We'll put her Wikipedia entry in the show notes because she went on to do more than this and good for her. And finally inside out. We've made it to another letter in whatever they're spelling out on page 114. It is AC and I thought the two of you might like to tell your did you see this story?

[Pam]

I thought it was coming.

[Dave]

I saw that photo again. I was going through my photos for unrelated reasons and I saw that photo again and the photo was we went to this cute little cottage grouping to stay in Austin way back when we all lived elsewhere and there is a giant metal C from some old sign somewhere and it was leaning up against the wall of one of these little cottages. And for the longest time back in the day before, everything in your digital life would show you a preview of the photo. We can't do it anymore because technology has ruined it for us is we would say did you see this? As if we were giving them a piece of information and then you would open it up as this picture again. We must have done it 20 times with each other over the years before it impossible to do it anymore because we just had. Not only because of technology but we just had advanced sea radar now and we just, you know, we couldn't be fooled anymore. But it was fun while it lasted.

[Sassy]

It is funny I almost put it

[Pam]

on this just to be like Dave, did you see this?

[Dave]

Did you see this? I would have fallen for it here because I don't think I read actually read the inside out. I think I missed it. So missed opportunity.

[Pam]

Next time time we'll be taking the

[Sassy]

August 1991 quiz how health Conscious are you? We'll also be listening to your latest voicemails about that and literally any other thing that's on your mind. So get on the hotline and share for my plug this week. I already mentioned it once earlier with regard to the hyper color ad. We have 360 degree coverage of Love Story colon, John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carolyn Bessette for all the 90s kids. Jessica Morgan from Go Yourself was on Extra Hot Great this week and we talked to her about that and I have also been recapping it and you can find those recaps at Decider.

[Pam]

You can call us at 7:20 Sassy Go. Leave us a voicemail about the show or the magazine and we may play it on a future episode. And you can find out more information about the podcast, links to all these visual aids and contact info at. Listen to sassy.com thank you so much for listening and we will see. See you next time.

[Dave]

Bye bye Brush those pubes with your 12 brushes.