August 1991 Pop Culture: Guns 'N Roses, Bulletboys & Paula Abdrool

Summary

Listen To Sassy: Life In The 90s

Episode: August 1991 Pop Culture: Guns 'N Roses, Bulletboys & Paula Abdrool

Date: February 17, 2026
Hosts: Tara Ariano, Pamela Ribon, David T. Cole

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the August 1991 pop culture coverage in Sassy magazine, exploring a wild snapshot of Gen-X adolescence through the lens of music, TV, and magazine oddities. Tara, Pam, and Dave riff on concert reviews (notably, a questionable Guns N’ Roses biography), emerging music trends, bizarre interview antics (hey, Keanu and Alex Winter!), and the evolution—or lack thereof—of certain bands and pop stars. Expect a nostalgic but sharply sarcastic critique of the “What Now” and “Ones to Watch” sections, loads of side stories, and affectionate mockery of ‘90s fashion and attitudes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Pam’s Extensive Collection of Beauty Products

• [01:23] The hosts play a game to determine which body parts Pam has special lotions, pills, or tinctures for.
  • Pam: "Yes" for most body parts, including toes, legs, knees, and eyebrows (due to seborrheic dermatitis).
  • Dave: "When I look at you two...you turn into a chicken drumstick." (04:47)
  • Humorous debate ensures about bodily definitions, self-care, and the alarming specificity of beauty routines.

Sassy’s “What Now” Digest: Pop Culture Snapshots

• [05:04] Corrections & Trivia:
  • Christina corrects a Guns N’ Roses concert review’s misspelling of "marabou."
  • Tori Spelling’s 18th birthday party: legendary, with "absolute" vodka cake and extravagant photo documentation.
  • Christina: "Like the rest of us, Tori's old as hell now and still celebrating her birthday on social media. I would not know because she blocked me on Instagram.” (06:41)
• Horace Mann: Preppy school’s student newspaper censored for reporting on drug use, followed by a rundown of various scandals haunting the institution.
• Sassy’s “glossary word” of the month: “rita,” meaning “girl” in 1991 skater slang; hosts discuss and mock its explanatory context.

Reviews & Opinions: Music, Books, and Movies

1. Industrial Music Fans

• [12:47] Host expresses skepticism at a blurb about Nine Inch Nails and Ministry.
  • Dave: "Paul is not a name of an industrial music fan. Sorry, that's...an undercover cop." (13:03)
  • Discussion about performative pain aesthetics and teenage subcultures.

2. Sassy’s Book & Movie Columns (“Read It” and more)

• [16:08] New “Read It” column launches, ranking books with a 5-dot system:
  • Appetite for Destruction: The Days of Guns N’ Roses by Danny Sugarman lambasted for overwrought prose.
    • “As you’re reading more of this, picture him writing this book while in line to see Oliver Stone’s The Doors.” – Dave ([17:15])
  • Ethan Hawke’s movie Mystery Date gets enthusiastic hair-related approval ("hair is a huge improvement").
• [19:19] Judd Nelson’s The Dark Backward prompts a tangent about weird retro comedies.
• [20:07] Brenda Starr panned, but hosts use the opportunity to address Brooke Shields' troubled childhood.

3. Music Reviews

• [21:55] “Hit of the Month”: The A-Bones' "I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up"
  • Mike: "This down in dirty five, some don’t get heard outside the NYC metropolitan area too often..."
  • Christina criticizes the retro sound: “It’s so tiresome. And so is this album cover and so is this music. Like, if this is the kind of retro thing you want to do, great. But it’s the 90s. Like do something different.” ([22:48])
• [26:07] Paula Abdul’s “Spellbound” gets only one pip.
  • Mike: "Mary gives Paula Abdul spellbound one Pip. And that’s…that’s just mean because here we are with Rush Rush with a video that I had to watch again...it’s got some great Keanu in it." ([26:14])
  • Christina: Shares that both Keanu Reeves and Dermot Mulroney appear in the “Rush Rush” video.

“Ones to Watch”: The Bulletboys

• [30:17] Hosts are baffled by the Bulletboys’ inclusion; they seem much older than Sassy’s usual picks.
  • Mike: “They look like the oldest people that have ever been in this slot. One of these men might have grandchildren.” ([30:17])
  • Wikipedia reveals revolving door of members. “Everybody’s in there. Yeah. Noam Chomsky.” – Dave ([34:04])
  • Christina: “I’m gonna go out on a limb and say these guys are not ones to watch.” ([34:45])

The Bogus Interview: Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey

• [34:45] Christina was invited to set, expects a fun Keanu/Alex Winter Q&A, but instead endures a stilted, guarded interview policed by a publicist.
  • Written as a tongue-in-cheek play lampooning celebrity profiles and the genre’s objectification of women.
  • Christina: “Not satisfying to read as much as it was not satisfying to do.” ([36:39])
  • Mike affectionately recalls Alex Winter’s “The Idiot Box,” a short-lived MTV sketch show.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dave on industrial music fans:
  “Nobody who's just going to ... use the word secrete. I'm telling you, this guy's a cop.” ([13:43])
• Mike on Bulletboys:
  “From this photo shoot directly to the Social Security office to gather their checks.” ([30:31])
• Christina on celebrity magazine blurb writing:
  “[The play format] is funny, because when a man profiles a female star, that's usually the kind of thing he will throw in to describe her.” ([35:09])
• Christina on media nostalgia:
  “Like, if this is the kind of retro thing you want to do, great. But it's the 90s. Like do something different.” ([22:48])
• Dave, on cyclical band lineups:
  “This is basically the musical equivalent of a Legion hall in your little town.” ([34:22])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:23] – Pam’s beauty tinctures game
• [05:04] – Sassy corrections (Guns N’ Roses, Marabou)
• [05:39] – Tori Spelling’s 18th birthday
• [07:07] – Horace Mann prep school scandal
• [08:46] – Sassy skater glossary (“Rita” discussion)
• [12:47] – What’s the deal with industrial music?
• [16:08] – Read It / Book reviews
• [18:15] – Movie reviews: Mystery Date, The Dark Backward, Brenda Starr
• [21:55] – Hit of the Month: The A-Bones
• [26:07] – Paula Abdul’s “Spellbound” review
• [30:17] – Ones to Watch: Bulletboys & band member deep dive
• [34:45] – The Bogus Interview: Bill & Ted on set Q&A debacle
• [37:07] – Reflection on Alex Winter’s “The Idiot Box”
• [37:49] – Lively outro discussion and listener engagement shoutouts

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Tone & Style

Expect Sassy’s trademark blend of snark, warmth, tangential knowledge, and deep pop-cultural memory, all performed with relentless good humor and a pinch of affectionate exasperation at the foibles of 1991—and sometimes, at each other.

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For Next Time

The hosts tease fashion coverage, a Milla Jovovich story, and more ’90s nostalgia. Tara plugs another podcast, Extra Hot Great.

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Summary Takeaway

A rollicking, sharply funny episode that dishes on everything from Paula Abdul and Keanu to the enduring mysteries of Gen-X beauty products. The hosts’ chemistry and encyclopedic pop trivia make this a must-listen for fans of Sassy, pop culture history, or anyone who spent their teen years rolling their eyes and making mixtapes in the early ’90s.

Transcript

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[Mike]

He's here.

[Christina]

My Mystery Date Mystery Date Are you ready for your mystery date?

[Dave]

Don't be late. It could be great.

[Christina]

Open the door for your mystery date.

[Dave]

It's mystery Date, the thrilling new Milton Bradley game of romance and mystery that's just for you and you and. And you. Mystery date Will you be ready for swimming or a dance when you open the door? Will your mystery date be a dream or a dud? Oh, fun and surprises. That's mystery dating. Remember, Milton Bradley makes the best games in the world. So, girls, open the door for your mystery date. Get mystery dates. It is August 1991. Shamu the whale passes on to that great krill buffet in the sky. Ron Reagan starts a late night talk show. Hot shots is tops at the box office. Tom Clancy's sum of all fears is seven. And the song you cannot everything I do, I do it for you by Bryan Adams is Billboard's number one. But you don't care about any of that because it's time to discover how many parts of Pam she has dedicated. Lotions, pills, salves, or tinctures for I'll name the part. Pam will say yes or no. Here we go. Toes.

[Christina]

Yes.

[Dave]

Feet.

[Christina]

Yes.

[Dave]

Legs.

[Mike]

Dedicated. I did it.

[Dave]

Knees.

[Christina]

Yes.

[Dave]

Hips. Lips?

[Mike]

Definitely many nips.

[Christina]

Whoa.

[Mike]

Sir.

[Christina]

The fifth.

[Dave]

We all got them. Belly button?

[Mike]

No. Very neglected.

[Dave]

Left butt cheek. Right butt cheek.

[Mike]

No. Probably not armpits. Yeah.

[Dave]

Elbows.

[Mike]

Sure. They definitely need fingers. Yes. Fingernails within reaching distance.

[Dave]

Hands.

[Mike]

Part of hands. Part of fingers.

[Dave]

Dave, hands are not part of fingers. Fingers in front of hands. Moving on. Fingernails.

[Christina]

We did fingernails.

[Ad Voice]

That's a trick.

[Dave]

I'm asking you again because you got 10 of them and you seemed unsure. Arms.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Dave]

Shoulders.

[Mike]

The arms and legs can. Shoulders, not its own unique tincture.

[Dave]

Neck. Definitely back.

[Christina]

No, no, stop right there.

[Dave]

Cheeks. Yeah. Forehead. We're almost at the end, Pam. Eyes.

[Christina]

Yes.

[Mike]

I have Visine right here.

[Christina]

No.

[Dave]

Nose.

[Mike]

Sort of.

[Dave]

Yeah. And finally. Chin. You got anything for your chin?

[Mike]

Not. Sometimes.

[Christina]

Yes.

[Mike]

A steroid cream.

[Christina]

Sometimes.

[Mike]

What about my hair? The most important.

[Dave]

Nobody cares about your hair.

[Christina]

I feel violated. Breaking from our normal rules, I'm going to say I have dedicated eyebrow cream and it's because I have seborrheic dermatitis, which means eyebrow dandruff.

[Dave]

That's sad.

[Mike]

Head and shoulders and eyebrows are eyebrows.

[Dave]

Head.

[Mike]

Our head. Eyebrows. Dave. I had no idea we had so many subsections.

[Dave]

I like how everything is part of your leg. It just kept on creeping up your body. Hips.

[Mike]

My legs.

[Dave]

Belly button. Kind of part of your legs.

[Christina]

No one said that.

[Mike]

Nope. That's not what you asked. You did not say trunk. You only asked a fun word. As a matter of fact, this is like. This is actually how Dave can see a woman. I now understand it a lot of. Of like.

[Christina]

Fine.

[Mike]

Belly button.

[Dave]

Okay. When I. When I look at you two, I see you for a second, then you turn into a chicken drumstick.

[Christina]

Crazy for a vegetarian.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Mike]

What?

[Christina]

Now I hesitate to do this, but I have to start with a correction. There's an item about a Guns N Roses concert review where they misspell marabou. M A R I B O U. It's M A R A B O U.

[Ad Voice]

What?

[Christina]

Thank you.

[Mike]

What is. What does it mean?

[Christina]

Marabou. It's like feathers. It's usually marabou trimmed, you know, negligee or something like that.

[Mike]

Oh, I see. A real Steven Tyler situation.

[Christina]

Exactly. Next.

[Mike]

Happy Marabu.

[Christina]

Next. Happy birthday, dear Tori. We're getting into the thick of season one of Beverly Hills 90210. And so they have a blurb about Tori Spelling's 18th birthday party. And this is one of the most covered birthdays I've ever seen. There are still so many photos of it that are extant. I found a Daily Mail 17 picture gallery of just photos from this party from August 1991, or I guess before that, she had 180 of her close personal friends at Bar One in Hollywood. Christina did not go because it was in LA and she was in New York. What you can't see in the photos that they selected for this what now? Item is that her cake was a giant absolute birthday cake. Remember the Absolute magazine campaign where it'd be like absolute peppers or whatever? They did that for her 18th birthday party.

[Dave]

She can't drink absolute peppers.

[Christina]

They didn't. They have a pepper flavor.

[Dave]

Oh, did they? Okay.

[Christina]

I think they did.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Christina]

It was just the first one I thought of. Anyway, like the rest of us, Tori's old as hell now and still celebrating her birthday on social media. I would not know because she blocked me on Instagram.

[Dave]

I mean, with good combat, absolutely.

[Christina]

She should protect her peace from me.

[Dave]

I'm thinking about it.

[Mike]

A prep school newspaper gets censored. This is about Horace Mann, which, you know, again, I'm not a New York person, so I never know what any of these things are.

[Dave]

He's like me, except he's big Horace and eats.

[Christina]

Oh, okay, BoJack, Horace Mann.

[Mike]

There you go. Maybe that's where it came from. Anyway, the editors of the Record, the newspaper of the exclusive Horace Mann School in the ritzy Riverdale section of the Bronx, wanted to write an article about drug use among 130 sophomores on their drug use and concluded that, wow, this is because I'm having to give myself whiplash to read this article. I'm so sorry about it.

[Dave]

Still, you're next. Not going back straight after it.

[Mike]

It hurts so much, I'll need a new balm. Turns out they do use drugs, and so the school was like, don't put that in there. We, like, need parents to send money to the school via their kids, so you can't put it in there. Alumni from the Horace Mann School include Elliot Spitzer, Jack Kerouac, Rory Cohn, Henry Winkler, Anna Murdoch. So, I don't know, it feels like they kept getting their money. Also, Controversy continued in 2007 when a beloved history teacher published a satirical novel about the school's competitive nature, where parents and students resort to bribery and blackmail to ensure college admission. They did not renew that teacher's contract because he was not anonymous enough. And in 2012, an article in the New York Times exposed decades of sexual abuse where they were like, sorry, but we're not going to investigate that. In 2020, a lawsuit was filed for a pay to play scheme involving a mere $1 million donation to the school. So it looks like Academy X was not making anything up.

[Christina]

Sounds like it's really worth it.

[Dave]

Yeah, well, you got Professor X there. Found it's sassy. Glossary definition numero 40. And it is rita, noun, a girl, as in sendrita usage, as seen in Thrasher magazine, June 1991. Let me preface by saying they here is not talking about the Ritas, because I started reading it that way, and I'm like, what am I getting myself into? They mowed lawns, washed windows, ran errands, and panhandled to accrue the necessary dough to buy the hippest new escape threads to so they could flow with the Ritas and honk the Bedoid material. P.S. bedoid material. Yeah, so I went on a journey with that one. It's like, what are you doing here, Sassy? Uh oh. And then it righted itself, kind of. But I've never heard this in my life. But then again, I'm not a skater.

[Christina]

Christina speculates that honk means scam, like hit on girls. But to me, this honk the betoid material to me seems touch boobs. Yeah, that's what I would guess. Okay. Yep.

[Mike]

Pinching nips. I could tell Dave that perhaps you weren't a skateboarder through the way you winded through this sentence. I washed windows was my favorite part.

[Dave]

Washed windows.

[Christina]

That's how it's spelled. It is how it's spelled.

[Mike]

But he said it like.

[Dave]

Like I was reading it. Well, I mean, we're going to need a comparison here. Please, in your best skater Persona, say wash to windows.

[Mike]

It might be that pull into washed windows like you move into some down under. They mowed lawns, washed windows, ran errands, and panhandled to accrue the necessary dough. Right, because you turned into, like, an older Philly woman who had to wash her windows. All right, I like Rita. I think it's a neat one for chicks. It's better than bedoid material or.

[Christina]

But I feel like.

[Dave]

All right.

[Christina]

Nah, it's not working.

[Dave]

All right. It's going great so far, guys.

[Mike]

You know, it's going to be better than life.

[Christina]

Last time, I don't have much to say about. Maybe get some scholarship money, which is about a lady in Watertown who, if you give her $59, she promises to send you at least six sources of financial aid. Or if she can't find six, she will refund your money. Except to say we just passed the 10th anniversary of a legendary viral tweet, which was a user on Twitter named DJ Pendejo @Dog Lover97_ tweeted @Gina Rodriguez, the star of Jane the Virgin, writing please help a struggling Latina sister who can't afford to pay her tuition. And Gina Rodriguez quote tweeted that and responded, have you looked into the Hispanic Scholarship Fund? There are a few places to look for help. Mama, let's research, which is still quoted to this day, a truly great moment of it's not my problem and making herself look like a clown in the process. So, Mama, let's research the anniversary of that tweet.

[Mike]

A little piece down here called My Friend's Band by staff guitarist Bobby Weeks. He writes about how in the early 80s he used to play in a band called Even Worse with a drummer named Jack Rabbit. When I ran at him at Sam Ash on 88th street and NYC last year, washing windows, he asked him to come see his new band Springhouse play. Jack Rabbit also has a zine called the Big and then there's an address for for you to get it for.350. The big takeover still exists, even has its own radio show. And Jackrabbit's considered like a fundamental voice in this scene. Cool one to watch.

[Christina]

We've heard from Bobby before. I believe he is Mary Kay's boyfriend.

[Dave]

He sounds like one of the guys from Goodfellas. Here's Bobby Weeks. As he takes weeks to finish the task.

[Mike]

An industrial fan tells us why. I've heard the industrial dance band's Nine Inch Nails in Ministry before, but not willingly. The harsh, intense beats are very noisy and give me a headache. They asked a fan named Paul. He says, I like the intensity of it. The music is mechanical and cold, yet the vocals are very.

[Dave]

Paul is not a name of an industrial music fan. Sorry, that's. That's a nar as an undercover cop trying to figure out the drug scene at these.

[Christina]

Yes, you want to talk to a fan named Johannes.

[Dave]

Well, this is Mr. Blart.

[Mike]

Paul, who says the noise is painful, but beauty can come out of the noise. Which sounds pretty emo to me. Apparently wears black combat boots, black jeans and band T shirts each day. Each day, however, he does not pierce odd body parts or get tattoos like some. Paul explains the practice of self mutilation here without a trigger warning. The experience of being in such major pain makes them secrete endorphins. The world is a painful place, but beauty can come out of it.

[Dave]

Nobody who's just going to that's going to use the word secrete. I'm telling you, this guy's a cop. He's got a piece of fake flesh over his Giant cop mustache. As soon as he gets out of the concert, he takes it off.

[Mike]

Jokes on Christina, Nine Inch Nails, Academy Award nominees over and over again, ones to watch.

[Christina]

And this is. Sorry. So quick on the draw.

[Dave]

I'm not quick on the trigger. That was a big pause.

[Mike]

Davey. Seconds over here.

[Christina]

All I was going to say is that this is more clown shit.

[Rocket Money Advertiser]

What?

[Christina]

Don't. Don't go to a fan and be like, explain yourself. People are allowed to like what they like. This is stupid. I don't look forward to this next month when they snap to an acid jazz fan. Because that's right, whatever they're going to have to say is going to be even dumber. Just let them stay in their area.

[Dave]

Getting a lot of mixed messages here, Tara.

[Mike]

It's true.

[Christina]

Hey, I can let them like what they like. I just don't want to hear about it. That's what I'm saying.

[Dave]

It's rude to let people explain themselves when I have to read it.

[Mike]

Spike made a skateboarding video, Video Days, which was sponsored by Blind, a skate company, do exciting things on their skateboards like play on ramps and curbs. Mark Gonzalez, one of the skaters and co owner of Blind, was quite involved in the making of the video. And there's a very clever storyline acted out by the team. There's good music in there, including I want you back and Lowrider, which I've got to assume nobody had the rights for any of this. That. That must have been very expensive if. So, no way. Anyway, Video Days is often credited as the most important skate video of all time. It stars a very young Jason Lee, Mark Gonzalez and Guy Mariano. You can find it on YouTube. It's very. Spike Jonze is about to make Sabotage.

[Dave]

Last item is about James Marshall, who played James Hurley on Twin Peaks. And here's a rollercoaster sentence for you. James Marshall will be starring in a movie called Gladiator, all about these amateur prize fighters.

[Christina]

Oops.

[Dave]

Oopsie doodle.

[Mike]

This month we have a new column called read it. Tara probably already knows how long this one lasts, but don't tell me. I don't want to know the ending. Don't flip to the last page of Read it for me, please.

[Dave]

I didn't get the joke until you explained the last page.

[Mike]

Thank you. It has a rating system of dots. Five dots. Well crafted, fully realized, postmodern pastiche. Four dots. Muy bueno. Three dots. Wait for the paperback. Two dots. Trees were murdered for this. And one dot made out of duty. So this month it is three Books. Black Ice by Laureen Carey, Object Lessons by Anna quindlen, and the 1 dot appetite for Destruction. The Days of Guns N Roses by Danny Sugarman. I was like, what is this? This book was like a big deal at the time, I guess, because of the way he wrote about Guns N Roses. Like calling them shaman and likening them to gods, Greek, whatever. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Here's a quote. The shaman, that's Axel, would imprint his body with tattoos and don scarves before an important ceremony, such as an initiation rites to manhood. That would be like a caption under a picture of Axl Rose.

[Dave]

As you're reading more of this, just picture him writing this book while in line to see Oliver Stone's the Doors continue.

[Mike]

Yes, Andrea gives this one star, saying it was. She literally wasn't sure if the text was truly repetitive or if she was so bored she kept reading the same sentence over and over again. The big problem is that Danny Sugarman obviously didn't have enough real material to write a book. Then, of course, the ridiculous attempts to make this band seem deeper than they are. Comparing Axl to Lord Byron and Baudelaire. Never say that right. Did I say it right? Tara Baudelaire. Thank you.

[Dave]

Baudelaire is a Beck album.

[Mike]

Oh, that's what it is. I'm a loser, baby. Anyway, Danny Sugarman was manager of the Doors and later Iggy Pop until they both ended up in mental hospitals. He died in 2005 and he's more known for book. No one here gets out of live one to watch out for.

[Christina]

That's what.

[Dave]

Watch it, watch it, you.

[Christina]

Of our three review columns, this is the only one that gets a full page. They have a blurb about mystery date, which gets four dots. This is the follow up by Ethan Hawke to his breakout role in Dead Poets Society, now with much better hair. Margie calls that out and she is right, puts it in the review. And it's also in the caption under the still from the movie. The hair is a huge improvement. I just wanted to call out, this is the only person on this page who would go on to be nominated for an Oscar. So good for him. And we wish him luck for Blue Moon this year.

[Dave]

So up at the top, there's the dot rating system, you know, from five to one, all their little things. But then in the gutters in between columns, they're using the same pips. Do you think one of these movies is a stealth 72 pip masterpiece? I'm just saying, semantically, you don't do that. You don't, you don't. You don't put your review pips as your. As your gutter lines.

[Mike]

Speaking of someone who's probably upset that they've never been nominated for an Academy Award, the second movie is called the Dark Backward. I had completely forgotten about this weird Judd Nelson movie that I forced myself to watch at the time. Late at night sounds right. Angrier and angrier the longer it went on. This movie has Judd Nelson, Wayne Newton, Bill Paxton, Laura Flynn Boyle, Rob Lowe and a third arm. This is about a very bad comedian who then gets a third arm and then is a good comedian.

[Christina]

That's how it works. That's actually what this thing on is about as well.

[Mike]

She mentions that the Juddmeister earned her respect. I didn't say that she said that. Especially after heard that on his. That all of his on camera sweat is natural and that this movie starts right in with all of the natural sweat.

[Christina]

Finally, one star and a bomb stamp for Brenda Starr with two R's. Half of the review by Kim is about how everyone she went to school with and her hated Brooke Shields because she seemed so sanitized and perfect and blah blah blah. This is a silly pointless film very much. I vaguely remember when it came out it was like in the mode of the Rocketeer, that sort of thing where it was a retro pastiche based on old comic bookish material. But like no one actually wants to see that. People barely wanted to see Dick Tracy. As I recall.

[Dave]

People were carving Brenda Star logos into the side of their heads. Stealing Brenda Starr posters from bus stops.

[Christina]

Uh huh.

[Dave]

Remember those days?

[Christina]

Sure. When you look it up though, it's dated 1989, so on top of everything else it like sat on a shelf for two years, which is usually not the sign of anything good. I have not seen this movie, but I just want to let Kim know that maybe she should read one of Brooke Shields's memoirs and find out there was more to her in those days when Kim was in high school because she had a very hard life, basically was like trafficked into show business by her abusive mother who made her do a lot of things at ages she should not have done them. Or maybe there's no age that would be appropriate to do them. So also don't call her a big girl. She was not fat.

[Dave]

Timothy Dalton's looking pretty good with his eye patch.

[Christina]

True.

[Dave]

Yeah. And his very open something shirt, robe. Look at my chest hair, Brenda. And chest pains.

[Christina]

I stare in my cup, I fall in and I can't get Up.

[Dave]

Do we need to rehearse?

[Christina]

Yeah, yeah, that's I've Fallen and I Can't get up by the A Bones off their album the Life of Riley. This is our hit of the month. Gets five pips. I'll just read the review by Mike. This down in Dirty Five, some don't get heard outside the NYC metropolitan area too often, but have finally released a long player for mad daddies and cool kittens across the fruited plain. Oh, God, Mike, you're the new Neil in that. I hate you. I hate your writing. It's so overdone. It's so self conscious. It's so tiresome. And so is this album cover and so is this music. Like, if this is the kind of, you know, retro thing you want to do, great. But it's the 90s. Like do something different versus just sounding exactly like a band from the 50s.

[Dave]

You say that, but then you look at the album cover and I am discovering that the album contains 15 Kaboomin hits.

[Christina]

Huh.

[Mike]

I want to say that it's weird for Sassy to put.

[Dave]

Wait, just market this for the sound. Soundboard.

[Mike]

I want to say I'm fine with this because this is elder feminist outrage. There's no implication. This hidden photo of Dave, by the way, is of a man on a couch holding a gun to a woman cowering while also hiding her face from the camera. Kabooming hips, fear on the ground, ashtray.

[Dave]

This Johnny Weeks.

[Mike]

That's what Sassy wants. A five star photograph. Like, fine, it's Mike. But regardless, like, they looked at that and thought, solid. Let's give it five stars. That's so frustrating.

[Christina]

Yeah, it's bad.

[Mike]

You don't think that looks a little like Dave?

[Dave]

Wait me.

[Mike]

720 says you go take a look.

[Christina]

Yeah, we'll put it in the. I mean, it's visual aids. Yeah, it's hard to see.

[Dave]

I mean, 20 years ago, maybe.

[Christina]

Yeah, I don't mean now. Dave, this is from the 50s.

[Mike]

Remember when you were Kaboomin?

[Christina]

Dave cuts out this picture and puts it on the fridge for inspiration.

[Dave]

Come on, guys.

[Mike]

Dave just likes the song.

[Christina]

This is the longest we've ever seen.

[Dave]

Sorry.

[Christina]

Yes, I cut this. I also like it.

[Mike]

Yeah, this should be five Pips and up on top. And she should be living the life of Riley, for Pete's sake. This song's beautiful and this album is great. This is what Sassy should be recommending. Like, you don't know about Susie. Here you go. And throw in like some other older hits. If you have, not if she's new to you. Right. Anyway, this is me still mad about the A Bones, but happy that this is where Suzy and the Banshees gets a shout out before they destroy another woman on the page. A couple. A couple reviews down Happy families.

[Dave]

Is your main aim. It starts out with a dealing in.

[Mike]

The middle of the night and ends.

[Dave]

Up with a full house if you play your cards outright. Speaking about things that are happening right now. Driving down the highway at 55 right now. Just the cadence of that made me want to blow my brains out.

[Christina]

Hurry, hurry, lover Come to me, Rush.

[Mike]

I wanna see, I wanna see. Get free with me.

[Christina]

Rush.

[Dave]

Rush.

[Mike]

Mary gives Paula Abdul spellbound one Pip. And that's. That's just mean because here we are with Rush Rush with a video that I had to watch again immediately upon remembering it because it's got some great Keanu in it.

[Dave]

Oh, it's that one.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, don't remember.

[Dave]

This is the magazine that called her Paula Abdrul. So the one Pip is not unexpected.

[Mike]

But they sure do love Keanu. So really, really stuck there between some things. And Prince has a song written and produced on here. It just starts with. It's not easy to listen to a Paula Abdul album if you're not a fan, and I'm not. Paula's just a tad too perky for me, but I'm sure she has plenty of fans out there, so I'll try to be nice. One Pip. Like the.

[Dave]

Come on, try to be nice.

[Mike]

Yeah. The rest of the songs are perky, and a couple of them made me gag. I will say that this album cover is terrible. What's going on there? A spider snake. I don't know what is attacking her.

[Christina]

That's Freddy Krueger's glove.

[Dave]

Yeah, I was gonna say it's like a demon. Coming up from the.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's like this was a Prince album cover and it said Prince, and then whatever symbol he was calling it, and then Prince was still in there. And so they just tried to get her back there. And this is what's left of that they could not wash away of Prince. And that makes way more sense to me.

[Dave]

That is a really great theory.

[Mike]

It actually is Prince, if you look at.

[Dave]

Yeah, I was gonna say kind of looks like Prince to me. I mean, it's a little. It benefits from being very washed out. So you can't see all this princely stubble, my liege.

[Christina]

But a couple of months ago, there was a listen up review of a Susanna Hoff's solo album. If I call correctly and it was like the song of about her bed or something. And we were in not certain that it was Dermot Mulroney in the video for the single. And I just want to say, in addition to Keanu Reeves, Dermot Mulroney is definitely in the video for this one.

[Mike]

Is that the one playing her boyfriend?

[Christina]

No, some it was one of the other guys in the car at the beginning.

[Mike]

Well, this album spent 16 weeks in the top 10 and was certified three times platinum. So Mary gag on that. Mm mm mm.

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[Christina]

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[Dave]

Pere.

[Christina]

The ki recogs Mobile Gig Unlimited.

[Mike]

I just there's no ones to watch. I kept waiting for a sting.

[Dave]

Ooh, this wait. It's plural. Now ones Ones to watch.

[Mike]

These are the bullet boys. So they are ones to watch. They look like the oldest people that have ever been in this slot. One of these men might have grandchildren.

[Dave]

I was gonna say from this photo shoot directly to the Social Security office to gather their checks.

[Christina]

This photo was presumably taken in 1991, but if you said it was taken in 1972? I would say, sure.

[Mike]

All of them have had to get their licenses renewed due to expiration. Every driver's license.

[Dave]

This first guy only drinks beer out of Stubby Bot.

[Christina]

This blonde guy, he's like the fifth member of ABBA or something.

[Mike]

Yeah, or maybe Anthony Kiedis's cousin in some way. There's a lot of. There's a lot of good hair going on in this gentleman.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Mike]

This band is called the Bullet Boys. I don't remember anything about them, but it starts by asking us if we remember them. They covered the OJ's classic For the Love of Money in 88. This LA band just released their second album, A Collision of hard rock and funk called Freak Show. These guys enjoy a good bitch session. When I. Again, sassy. When I had dinner with them in Hollywood, there was a lot of raging about. A band called LA Nuns. A slap at LA Guns. Anyway, Mark Taurean, the one with all the good hair, used to be with Motown Records, where he wrote songs with Smokey Robinson and Stevie Wonder. So, yeah, I don't know. This guy's 58. Maybe. Who knows? Guitarist Mick Sweeta hails from upstate New York. He gets musical inspiration from car crashes and horn parts.

[Christina]

Sure.

[Mike]

Bass player Lonnie Vincent used to play with Cece Deville from Poison. And drummer Jimmy Donda grew up in Boyle Heights and avoided gang life by taking his aggressions out on a set of skins. Mark says, we're the only true band. We're the only true hard rock and roll band left that hasn't actually gone to the commercial edge of things. To the left, sure. You're the only one to the left of us. There's Megadeth, Slayers and Metallicas, your testaments and so forth. To the right of us, you have your Wingers, your Warren, your Poisons, your Slaughters, Summers and Rangoon. Then right in the middle, you have this weird bunch of guys called Bullet Boys playing very psychotic hard rock and roll.

[Christina]

So you're the middle of the road in the genre. Wow. What an endorsement of yourself.

[Dave]

Hang on, hang on. You gotta go to their Wikipedia page.

[Mike]

Oh, yes, you do have to go.

[Rocket Money Advertiser]

To the Wikipedia page.

[Dave]

Go to the bottom where it says timeline. Yes, they got a fucking Gantt chart of the. Wow, four dozen people that have been in this band over time.

[Christina]

Jesus Christ.

[Mike]

Incredible. The number of former members that include Stephen Adler. Like, it just keeps going. You keep scrolling. You assume at some point Phil Collins is there.

[Dave]

Okay, current members, mix suite of lead guitar backing vocals. 1987 to 1993, 1999 to 2000, 2011, 2019 to 2022, 2025 to present. That is not good for your Wikipedia.

[Mike]

They've been in a lot of fights, and it's just like. It just keeps being another fight every time they're going to tour with, like, Anthrax or whoever it is. Motley Crue, we're on. We're in a fight again, and they break up. But guess what? They just had a reunion.

[Dave]

Because, of course they did.

[Rocket Money Advertiser]

I don't know.

[Mike]

Because we were going to talk about them and listen to Sassy. I'm telling you, it's a legit bump.

[Dave]

We got to get the band back together. They're talking about us on that podcast. Their big hit was Smooth Up India.

[Christina]

Oh, great.

[Dave]

So that tells the full story.

[Christina]

Wait a second, Dave, you were in this band from 2012 to 2014 and then again in 2015.

[Dave]

What?

[Christina]

Dave, I'm just pretending you were on this very, very long list of former members in this ship of Theseus of hard rock.

[Dave]

Oh, I see. Everybody's in there. Yeah. Noam Chomsky.

[Mike]

Noam Chomsky. Yes. Sebastian Bach. Everybody was here. And this guy used to be in Rat. I mean, yeah. These men are not young. They're our oldest ones to watches, for sure.

[Dave]

This is basically the musical equivalent of a Legion hall in your little town. Guys just come in, tell a couple war stories, grab their stubby beer, start.

[Christina]

A fight with someone and leave. Yes.

[Dave]

Join the band maybe for a few weeks and then leave. Yeah. Bring over Johnny Weeks. Well, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say these guys are not ones to watch.

[Christina]

No. Despite their constant efforts intermittently over the years, We finally land on our cover story, the Bogus Interview, a play in one act. And it sounds like Christina was called to the set of Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey and invited to interview the stars. Alex Winturn, Keanu Reeves in a trailer with their publicist present. They don't really want to talk about anything that she asked about. They're very evasive. And she has written this, I guess, to stretch it out, the little amount that she had, as if it's a play, and calls herself Christiana. And every time she describes herself, it's with descriptions like arching her finely muscled back, bravely tossing her opulent auburn curls, et cetera. Which is funny, because when a man profiles a female star, that's usually the kind of thing he will throw in to describe her. Or was in the 20 aughts and teens. They have since been, I think, mocked out of doing that anymore. But this is kind of a lotta nothing. She leaves unsatisfied. And the publicist is annoyed because she just wants to ask them about everything other than the movie. And I have done interviews like that where there's stuff that they want you to ask and stuff that they don't want you to talk about, and the stars can tell that they're being constrained and sometimes they're just having a bad day and are annoyed to have to talk to a journalist. So I get why she wanted to make something of it, especially since they were going to be the COVID boys. But I would say not satisfying to read as much as it was not satisfying to do.

[Mike]

It starts with asking Alex about, quote, your MTV show, and he talks about the Idiot Box, which I completely forgotten about and watched all, whatever, six episodes. It was a very short show, but I still laugh about Officer Lockjaw, Eddie the Flying Gimp. I mean, we don't say anymore, but this was like. There were a bunch of like quick little jokes and it had videos in the middle, little sketches and recurring characters. It didn't last for very long. Lockjaw's funny. You probably would like it.

[Christina]

Click the link at the end. She has like a little sort of playbill blurbs about the actors with their bios and then about the playwright. She cites Samuel Beckett's Waiting for Gadot and Jean Paul Sartre's no Exit as her greatest influences. And as many of our listeners probably know, Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves did Waiting for Gatot on Broadway last year with a in a production directed by a big superstar, Jamie Lloyd. So good for them.

[Dave]

Anybody else on the podcast just realized they've been mispronouncing Gado for their whole life.

[Christina]

I might be saying it wrong next time.

[Dave]

720Sassy Go. Are you a Godot or a Godot person? We want to know.

[Mike]

I'm a gal Gadot person.

[Christina]

Next time, next time we'll be talking about the fashion, et cetera, of the August 1991 issue. A huge color coded spread of all the clothes you want laid out on top of each other lying on the ground. Mia Jovovich in her first sassy fashion story, Kilts adds more for my plug. This week I'm gonna direct you to our sister podcast, Extra hot. Great episode 601. We talked about the Burbs, which is the series adaptation of the 1989 film, which I'm sure came up in one of the 1989 issues. I'm sure it was reviewed. Show's not very good but we had fun talking about it with new guest Matt Monigal so find that link in the show notes.

[Dave]

You can follow us at listentosassy.com on blue sky Tara is at taraariano.com Pam Ribbon won't return your calls. I am calling Poll. FYI, you can support us on Patreon. It's $5 a month gets you access to our discord. You get the full issue PDFs cover to cover lovingly scanned by Tara arellano. Go to listentosassy.comclub to join today or support us for free. Rate and review us on the podcast app you're using right now. Maximum stars.

[Mike]

That's actually. I mean I know we're wonderful but the best rate reason is that you get all the sassies. Do you know how much time and effort and money it costs to rebuild a sassy collection?

[Christina]

Yep.

[Mike]

Anyway, you can call us at 7:20 sassy go and leave us a voicemail about the show. How you say Godot or I don't know what you did yesterday. Front Porch Kelly, we're wondering and we will play it on a future episode. We definitely will. We're deeply invested in your personal lives.

[Christina]

It's true.

[Mike]

Should we be doing these on YouTube? Tara and Dave do not want you to see what they they look like. I think that's all it is. But like, are we leaving money on the table? Everybody's not listening to podcasts anymore. Are you drawing what we look like so that you can enjoy your podcast? How does it work now?

[Dave]

And I'm Tyra and I'm listening to this music and it all sounds like my Djangoli guitar.

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[Mike]

Appreciate.