August 1991 Slumber Party: This, This & That

Summary

Listen To Sassy: Life In The 90s

August 1991 Slumber Party: This, This & That

Hosts: Tara Ariano, Pamela Ribon, David T. Cole
Release Date: March 17, 2026

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Episode Overview

This lively Slumber Party episode brings hosts Tara, Pam, and Dave together to dissect the August 1991 issue of Sassy magazine, reminisce about the hilarity and horrors of Gen-X adolescence, and celebrate the enduring magic of listener participation through a flurry of engaging, voicemails from devoted fans. The trio, ever irreverent and candid, explore health trends and myths of the 90s, decode quizzes, expose pop culture oddities, and reflect on the deep and lingering embarrassments of youth. It’s an episode that oscillates between sharp nostalgia, razor-sharp wit, and a genuine love for the quirks of both Sassy and its audience.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Health Trends, Quizzes, and Nutritional Confusion

• Protein Obsession & 90s Diets

  • The crew opens with a riff on the "mainlining broccoli, carrots and cabbage" fad in 1991, parodying 90s misconceptions about nutrition:
    • Tara: “Ooh. It is August 1991, and you're mainlining broccoli, carrots, and cabbage because nobody's told you about protein yet. Protein.” [00:28]
  • Pam jokes about her husband’s delayed protein obsession: “Now it's like, do you know about collagen powder? … You know about lion's mane? Anyway, so he's a little late to where we source protein, but he is a protein man.” [01:56]

• "How Health Conscious Are You?" Quiz

  • The team takes Sassy's quiz, highlighting both how advice has changed and how absurd some questions were:
    • Tara on Lyme disease: “Which of the following carries Lyme disease? ... it should have been. And D, a Lyme. That's the only piece of advice I have for Sassy on this one. Just missed opportunity, guys.” [02:54]
    • Pam debunks an anti-marijuana myth:
      • “And the answer they claim is A, that’s true. And that is not true. Marijuana is safer to smoke than tobacco for a number of reasons.” [04:28]
    • The group parses confusing nutrition guidelines about fat grams, ridiculing the instability of dietary fads:
      • Pam: “We were like, no carbs, then high fat, then Atkins. He died. What do we know about anything?” [07:37]
      • Tara offers her own tip: “Try. What I do is I get the. The avocado spray… and I just stick it in my mouth sometimes.” [07:47]

2. Listener Calls: Embarrassment, Fashion, and Parental Paradoxes

• Enduring Teenage Mortification

  • Caller Marnie shares a cringe-inducing story about a classic period mishap becoming school legend:
    • “Everyone is going to remember your most embarrassing moment and bring it up 25 years later…” [11:27]
  • Inspired, Pam imagines a time-travel movie for redemption: “a really good reason for a time travel movie where you're like, 13 going on 30, but… I have to go back and find myself and fix this…” [13:05]
    • Tara christens it: “It's called period piece.” [13:31]

• Pop Culture Shenanigans

  • Caller Kim relays childhood pop culture misunderstandings (e.g., believing “Little House on the Prairie” was filmed in real time) and the universal confusion that follows:
    • Tara: “Would I Lied to you? ... ‘I would venture to say you’ve never seen footage of dinosaurs.’” [16:19]

• Fashion Flashbacks

  • Caller Emily on enduring the tights-under-shorts trend—and her dad’s arbitrary dress codes:
    • “That was my introduction to double standards and the ridiculousness of men who have no idea about fashion having any say in what a middle school girl should wear.” [25:57]
  • Skirt vs. shorts coverage debate:
    • Tara: “Wear more Skirts, ladies. Very attractive.” [26:04]
    • Dave: “She can’t do cartwheels in a skirt. Or, you know, she shouldn’t.” [26:08]

• Band-Aids, Pantone, and Modern Color Fails

  • Caller Kelly revisits an older episode’s talk on “flesh-colored” Band-Aids, now set against the context of Pantone’s 2026 “Cloud Dancer” (eggshelly white).
    • Tara: “Can I be absolutely honest with you? That is the color of the background to glowing briefcase behind the scenes, not yet released, but that is pretty much the Color that I chose for the background.” [20:22]
    • Dave: “It's barely off white. … This is the laziest shit you could possibly do.” [20:13]

3. Pop Culture and Personal Care Rabbit Holes

• Chart Enthusiasm and GWAR Lore

  • DJ Empirical calls in about Wikipedia’s band member “Gantt charts”—with a tangent into 3D chart possibilities and GWAR band-member multiplicity:
    • “Pie charts drool. … create the three dimensional Gantt chart where we have different timelines… Sort of like evolution tree diagram, except it's all in 3D.” [16:56]
  • The hosts embrace the chaos:
    • Tara: “Oh, right, when you went through your Gwar period. That's by the way, should be the name of your movie. Gwar period.” [18:01]

• Waxing: Edible Nads and Human-Grade Dog Biscuits

  • Caller Sarah reminds everyone of "Nads"—the edible waxing product—with fascinating nostalgia for infomercials and DIY self-care:
    • “Technically it was edible because I think it was based in like honeys and aloes and things technically that could be eaten…” [21:17]
    • Followed by: “It is lemonade. It's sugar. Little bit of lemon juice. Ta da. That's it.” [23:11]
  • Tara equates edible waxing to “human-grade” pet snacks: “Which reminded me of the time I bought a box of dog treats from H E B and they smelled so good. And then I noticed it said human grade dog treats on it. So I had one and they weren't bad.” [24:39]

• Brushes, Brushes, Brushes

  • Caller Hayden Haymaker asks Pam for details on her brush obsession—specifically about "dry brushing."
    • Pam: “When you're dry brushing, it really does feel equine. Oh, also one B. Your friend who wants to dry brush you is into you, Hayden.” [27:29]
    • The prospect of Brushapalooza: “Next time. We'll do it next time. Okay… We'll have theme music, then themed snacks.” [28:34]

4. Sassy’s Questionable "Experts" and Cultural Commentary

• Nanette Laree Hernandez Deep Dive
  • Portland Orc scrutinizes a Sassy-associated “expert” with a wild bio and dubious credentials, drawing laughs while questioning standards:
    • “She is a self-proclaimed, and I'm guessing nobody else proclaimed military PTSD related intimacy issues expert. What does that mean in the world according to whom? … she cannot possibly be any sort of licensed professional…” [29:24]
    • Follow-up: “I just didn't want it to seem like I was being like, how weird. She talks to people about unorthodox sex stuff. It's just like, I don't know if she should be, you know, but who am I to say?” [31:22]
  • Creative military-themed sex position names ensue.
    • Tara: “I bet there's military only sex position names like let's roll or, you know, moving out.” [32:33]
    • Dave: “Not cowgirl. It's like the left tenant or something.” [32:43]

5. Parental Paradoxes and 90s Kid Life

• Caller Courtney on the hilarious logic of parental clothing bans, with a hypercolor T-shirt vs. “Co-Ed Naked Band” shirt controversy:
  • “She said they were inappropriate because they encouraged people to put their hands all over you to make the shirt change color. … And first she insisted I didn't have [the co-ed naked shirt]…” [34:13]
    • Dave welcomes such nostalgia: “We are here for two kinds of calls. Always people calling in with dumb pop culture stories and airing of grievances against parents for 30 year old slice. I love nothing more.” [34:15]

6. Compliment Corner & Podcasting Joy

• Caller Kara from Macon, Georgia, shares how the podcast “literally kept me sane the last couple years” and stans for “Dave's Christmas piles”:
  • “It is just so absolutely delightful. … I introduced yet again another of my classes today. I teach at a private women's college… I had a chance to expose them to Sassy.” [35:10]
  • Kara’s sign-off: “This is never gonna send Keith Coogan forever.” [37:13]
    • The hosts bask in the love—“life is hard and we deserve this.”

7. Meta Listener Stories and Podcasting Legacy

• Portland Orc shares a confession: nervous to discover a man on the podcast, but Dave won her over quickly:
  • “Dave made that joke about how you can. Sorry, you can get discharged. Vaginal discharge is one of the ways to get discharged from the army. And I laughed so hard in public that I was wearing a backpack full of groceries and it completely flipped over my head…” [37:54 to 39:18]
• Parallels drawn to earlier caller’s “everyone remembers your most embarrassing moment” story—full circle closure on public embarrassment.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Pam on Sassy’s Nutrition Schizophrenia
  • “We were like, no carbs, then high fat, then Atkins. He died. What do we know about anything?” [07:37]
• Tara on Air Fryer Love
  • “Vegetables are so much better if you roast them in an air fryer.” [04:19]
• Pam on Marijuana Quiz Fails
  • “And the answer they claim is A, that’s true. And that is not true. Marijuana is safer to smoke than tobacco for a number of reasons.” [04:28]
• Listener Marnie on Lasting Mortification
  • “...the reality is everyone is going to remember your most embarrassing moment and bring it up 25 years later…” [11:27]
• Tara names Pam's time travel movie
  • “It's called period piece.” [13:31]
• Dave on Podcast Call Types
  • “We are here for two kinds of calls. Always people calling in with dumb pop culture stories and airing of grievances against parents for 30 year old slice. I love nothing more.” [34:15]
• Pam on "Brushapalooza"
  • “Fuck your water picks, brushes only, brush piece, brush period. Really Try brush more, brush more, brush more.” [28:58]
• Kara (Listener) on the podcast's impact
  • “Your podcast has literally kept me sane the last couple years. It is by far my favorite podcast…” [35:10]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:28] – Mainlining veggies, protein jokes
• [02:32] – "How Health Conscious Are You?" quiz begins
• [04:28] – Marijuana myth quiz question takedown
• [07:37] – Pam’s summary of confusing 90s nutrition fads
• [10:05] – Listener voicemails begin
• [11:27] – Marnie’s embarrassing period story
• [13:31] – “Period piece” time travel movie quip
• [16:56] – Gantt charts and GWAR
• [20:03] – Pantone color of the year/Cultural Color Commentary
• [21:17] – Nads waxing product and edible waxing
• [25:57] – Emily’s fashion double-standard story
• [27:31] – Pam’s dry brushing explanation
• [29:24] – Portland Orc on Nanette Laree Hernandez credentials
• [34:13] – Courtney’s Hypercolor parental paradox story
• [35:10] – Compliment Corner with Kara from Georgia
• [37:51 & 39:26] – Portland Orc’s origin story as a podcast fan

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Tone & Style

As always, the hosts’ banter is loose, sharp, and peppered with inside jokes, pop culture tangents, and respect for the weird, formative years of Gen-X adolescence. Listener calls infuse the episode with even more authenticity and unpredictability; the trio warmly receives heartfelt compliments, public confessions, and deeply relatable stories with their signature mix of affection, irreverence, and nostalgia.

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Summary

August 1991's Slumber Party episode is a dynamic, hilarious, and surprisingly moving romp through the pages of Sassy, its teen girl anxieties, its health advice, and the pop culture landmines of the era. Listener stories—of cringe-worthy mishaps, waxing misadventures, and parental contradictions—are met with warmth and laughter. Meanwhile, the crew’s own stories and reactions remind us why Sassy was (and this podcast remains) such a touchstone for a generation that grew up rolling their eyes at outdated advice, searching for themselves in odd corners—and sometimes just really, really wanted the “wrong” T-shirt.

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Next up: September 1991’s issues—teen life, farming fears, insecurity, and more “what he said about crying.” Keep those pop culture and brush-related stories coming!

Transcript

[Portland Orc]

Early birds always rise to the occasion for summer vacation planning because early gets

[Pam]

you closer to the action. So don't be late. Book your next vacation early on VRBO and save over $120. Rise and shine. Average savings, $141. Select homes only.

[Caller]

Free and lean, fat free and low cholesterol cheeses with only 40 calories per ounce. Now I'm really gonna be in great shape.

[Pam]

New free and lean.

[Dave]

Great shape of America with a fine lace.

[Tara]

Ooh. It is August 1991, and you're mainlining broccoli, carrots, and cabbage because nobody's told you about protein yet. Protein.

[Dave]

Listen to that.

[Pam]

Oh, my God.

[Dave]

Listen to it.

[Pam]

It's happening.

[Dave]

We're starting off on the goof juice.

[Tara]

I don't get protein. Bad things are gonna happen to you too.

[Pam]

It's Friday somewhere.

[Tara]

Has there been a study that protein will turn MET into Tim Allen?

[Dave]

Mm, great question.

[Tara]

It sounds like it might.

[Dave]

Does seem that way, doesn't it?

[Tara]

Pam, you live with a protein fiend. Is he turning into Tim Allen?

[Pam]

You know, we. I. I'm not gonna say that.

[Dave]

Touch the nerve.

[Pam]

I'm not gonn. It's really more like a different kind of, you know, like California protein guy. Do you know what I mean? As I said earlier, it's more like protein. Sure, yeah. It's not the same thing as that 80s caveman thing.

[Tara]

That was a longer answer than I was expecting.

[Pam]

Well, it's an evolving situation.

[Tara]

I see.

[Dave]

He listens, so she has to be more careful.

[Tara]

Do you think he's slipping in protein juice into your food when you're not looking?

[Pam]

I'm actually the. Here's what it is.

[Tara]

If my wife doesn't have big muscles, I'm not interested.

[Pam]

His algorithm is a couple years behind. I think I've said this before. So now it's like, do you know about collagen powder? And I'm like, here's a giant jar of it that's been here next to the dog food for years. You know about lion's mane? Anyway, so he's a little late to where we source protein, but he is a protein man.

[Tara]

It's nice to have a personal time machine. What TV shows does he like? He's really looking forward to the penultimate season of Stranger Things.

[Pam]

Getting into Patriot.

[Dave]

Yeah, he's all in on succession.

[Tara]

All right, we gotta move on.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Pam]

All right, Dave, our quiz.

[Dave]

The August 1991 quiz brought to us by Kim, is, how health conscious are you?

[Tara]

Very.

[Dave]

And this is a very important phrasing because somebody Might be conscious of what they're supposed to do and not actually do it in their actual life. For example, me. But we will get to our scores later. Dave, which question jumped out to you?

[Tara]

Number two. Which of the following carries Lyme disease? A, a fly, B, a tick or C, a mosquito? I don't want to tell them their business, but it should have been. And D, a Lyme. That's the only piece of advice I have for Sassy on this one. Just missed opportunity, guys.

[Dave]

Come on. I was drawn to question number six. What is your basic attitude toward vegetables? None of these quite fit. A, negative. Although I do put ketchup on my eggs. B, I eat them if mom cooks them. C, I enthusiastically dine on them at least twice a day. B, I eat them if dad cooks them. Mom in this case is Dave. If he makes vegetables, I will have some.

[Tara]

Yeah, that is true.

[Pam]

I. I also had to put B. Even though I'm mom,

[Dave]

I do eat salad so reluctantly and bitterly and resentfully, but I do eat it almost every day and I hate it.

[Tara]

Well, I'm c. I'm the good one.

[Dave]

I know I would eat more vegetables

[Pam]

if Dave was serving them up for me. It's more like, I've got to make the vegetables and then like, all right.

[Tara]

Do you have an air fryer?

[Pam]

Yeah, it's on a top shelf. I don't use much. I love my everyday microwave steamers. I do use those. I cook all kinds of things in them, like baked potatoes. Spoiler coming up. And salmon veggies.

[Tara]

Vegetables are so much better if you roast them in an air fryer.

[Dave]

They really are.

[Pam]

I have a toaster oven. I roast them like the old fashioned way with olive oil.

[Dave]

And Pam, tell us more.

[Pam]

Tell us about the quiz I picked. Number 8. Besides being illegal and making you stupid, smoking marijuana is worse for your lungs than smoking cigarettes. A, that's true. B, they're equally bad. C, it's not as bad. And the answer they claim is A, that's true. And that is not true. Marijuana is safer to smoke than tobacco for a number of reasons. But also, you don't smoke as many joints as you smoke cigarettes. And even if you hold it in the worst, there's no cancer. You might get bronchitis. You might, like, eventually be phlegmy. But this is just not true.

[Tara]

Wait, what about chronic munchies?

[Pam]

The munchies cannot be denied. Hurt your lungs. Unless you're laughing while having the munchies.

[Dave]

Then you inhale.

[Pam]

Inhale a Cheeto. And then definitely bad for your lungs.

[Dave]

I feel like this does not necessarily reflect the views of the sassy staff at the time. But at this point they had already been told, like, if you mention the existence of sex, you will lose every advertiser you have. So they had to be like, pot is worse than Sigs, I guess.

[Pam]

But I found it. I found it really weird for them. You could say it's. They're. I don't know.

[Tara]

You could say, are you high right now?

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Tara]

Okay, guys, I thought that was a diploma. And then she stuck it in her mouth and started smoking it.

[Dave]

He had another quibble with this quiz as well.

[Pam]

Well, I read 13 very quickly and it says, and you know, for those of us who've always count grams and things like I, it quickly, wait a

[Tara]

sec, do you do marijuana or cocaine? No. This feels a little light. Then Pan pulls out her knife, sticks it through the guy's jaw.

[Pam]

Teen girl. Grams, your daily diet should contain a maximum of A, 50 to 70 grams of fat, B, 10 to 20 grams of fat, C, 30 to 40 grams of fat. And I was like, 30, 40. We all know the pie chart.

[Tara]

Whatever.

[Pam]

You never your carbs and then your protein and then your fat. But I guess that's percentage. And you're supposed to, if you're a young person, eat 50 to 70 grams of fat. How many is it now when you're an adult?

[Tara]

That's a pack of cards worth of fat.

[Dave]

Grams aren't big, Pam.

[Tara]

A playing card is one gram.

[Pam]

Yeah, a playing card is one gram.

[Tara]

One gram. That's how I always remember how things weigh.

[Pam]

You mean flat or sideways?

[Dave]

No, the weight. The weight. Grams are weight. Oh, no, they're like ounces, but metric. Uh, oh, oops. I know they're weight. They give you weights.

[Pam]

They're in pounds. But if you were telling me a pound, I understand. A gram is harder for me. Right, okay, listen, I moved around a lot. I missed a lot of key points in things. I'm very bad at fractions and percentages in particular, but how much pop in

[Tara]

a three mile bottle?

[Pam]

I can tell you calories in all these things. Anyway, I remember if you looked at something and it had 35 grams of fat in it, it was bad for you. But now you're telling me.

[Dave]

I could have had that about three times a day.

[Tara]

You could stick your face in a Crisco tub. Just go to town, Pam.

[Dave]

They want you to eat heart healthy fat. So, like, avocado is very fatty, but it's good for you.

[Pam]

Yeah, see, they really fucked Us over is all I'm saying. We were like, no carbs, then high fat, then Atkins. He died. What do we know about anything?

[Tara]

Try. What I. What I do is I get the. The avocado spray. You know, like the Pam style stuff. Pam.

[Dave]

I have that.

[Tara]

And I just stick it in my mouth sometimes

[Dave]

on the way to the dentist so that all that flossing goes real smooth.

[Tara]

Can't have cavities if no food can. Chocolate. Because of my oily teeth.

[Pam]

I'm gonna look this thing up. That was a daily after school treat. Just so you can tell, it was a personal pot pie frozen from Marie Callenders.

[Caller]

I'm just gonna go check out.

[Dave]

Oh, my God. Well, I'm. I bet that's quite fatty. And that's probably not what they're telling you to eat.

[Pam]

Well, it's what I did when I came here. It is 600 calories.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pam]

Good news. 17 grams of protein.

[Dave]

Do you want to guess how much fat in 600 calories of this pot pie?

[Tara]

32.

[Pam]

32. You did it, Dave.

[Dave]

Whoa. Dead on. Damn.

[Pam]

With VRBoCare, help is always ready before,

[Dave]

during, and after your stay. We've planned for the plot twists, so support is always available because a great trip starts with peace of mind.

[Caller]

Day or night, VRBoCare is here 247

[Dave]

to help make every part of your stay seamless.

[Caller]

If anything comes up or you simply

[Pam]

need a little guidance, support is ready

[Caller]

whenever you reach out.

[Pam]

From the moment you book to the moment you head home.

[Dave]

We're here to help things run smoothly

[Pam]

because a great trip starts with the right support. And hey, a good playlist doesn't hurt either. Mazda. Once you discover the Mazda CX5 Mazda, it doesn't take long to get it. With standard all wheel drive, a premium interior, and advanced safety features, it's an SUV that gives you more at every turn.

[Dave]

It will have you saying Mazda.

[Pam]

The Mazda CX5. It's made to move you.

[Tara]

Every Mazda SUV offers you an elevated

[Dave]

driving experience and refined performance.

[Tara]

Discover it at your local Mazda dealer today.

[Dave]

Now it's time to listen to your latest calls. Let's start with our team life topics. And you know, some of these cases. I was vaguely remembering what was being referred to. So let's start with Marnie and hope. This is Teen Life related.

[Caller]

Hi, this is Marnie from Atlanta. I'm calling two different things. One is, for some reason I just went back and listened to the first episode and the fact that, okay, I honestly can't remember if his real name is Kevin. Coogan or Keith Coogan at this point. But the fact that he was mentioned so many times during the issue made me wonder if maybe the staff was doing kind of like the Ray Don Chong Challenge, where they wanted to see how many times they could get his name mentioned in a single issue. Because the reality is, like, he was known during that time, but he wasn't a big enough celebrity to warrant constant mention throughout a teen magazine. So that's my theory. Mullet over. Decide if you want to agree with it or not. But I. I actually think it might have, like. So my second reason for calling is I think it was when. I want to say it was when Sassy decided or either Sassy decided or Impacts decided whoever, about the most embarrassing story having to do with periods. And I think it was either. I want to say it was the second place winner had talked about going to the bathroom when she was in school and tucking her skirt into the back of her underwear when she had her period. How embarrassing it was. And when I heard that story, I was like, oh, I remember that happened actually specifically to a friend of mine, and we didn't go to school together, but she came home from school and told me about it. So of course we laughed and she was mortified, et cetera. And it was one of those things where you say, like, look, nobody's going to remember. You know, no one's going to talk about it. Don't worry. Everyone embarrasses themselves. Flash to about 25 years later when my friend who it happened to, she met someone who, it turned out, had gone to her same high school. And it was a very large public high school in Miami. A lot of people didn't actually even know each other in school. It was so big. And so they were talking about high school and what years they graduated, etc. And they were saying, oh, did you know this teacher? Did you know this person? Comparing. And the other person said, do you remember that one day where that girl walked down the hall with her skirt tucked into the back of her underwear and she had her period and everyone could see her huge, massy hat? And my friend had to look at her and say, I do you remember that? Because that was me. And so for those of you who are always told, oh, don't worry, no one's ever going to remember your most embarrassing moment, the reality is everyone is going to remember your most embarrassing moment and bring it up 25 years later in talking about their recollections of high school. So sorry, I know that bad news for Most of us, anyway. Love what you do. Love the podcast. Thank you. Bye.

[Tara]

Let's take these backwards.

[Pam]

Well, I just wrote down really good reason for a time travel movie where you're like, 13 going on 30, but you're like, I have to go back and find myself and fix this, and everything will be different. Everything will be different. I will prom queen from here on out.

[Dave]

Pam, do you want Dave to cut this out of the episode so no one steals your amazing idea? He might. I'm serious. He should. That's a really good idea. It is.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Dave]

It really is.

[Tara]

It's called period piece.

[Dave]

Period piece.

[Tara]

Just saying now so I can get a little piece of the pie.

[Dave]

Okay, back to Keith slash Kevin Coogan. It is, in fact, Keith.

[Tara]

I was going to ask. I couldn't remember either.

[Dave]

The reason that Kevin Coogan forever is the sign off is because that's the wrong one, right? Yeah. If I can just put on my magazine employee hat for a second. I think it's probably more like they had the most time with Heath Coogan because he was nice enough to do this because he is not particularly famous. So they just repurposed. They used every piece of the buffalo of their time with him and just spread it around the magazine because it was before the magazine had launched. They couldn't be like, look, here's an issue so you can see what we do. They just had to take advantage of as much as of Kevin. Fuck Keith Coogan's comments as they could.

[Tara]

All right, wait. Ray Dawn Chong Challenge.

[Dave]

Okay. Back when we were all working at Television Without Pity, we would do something called the Ray Dawn Chong Challenge, which the genesis of it was, I think, that just randomly Radon Chong came up in a couple of recaps in the same week, and someone noticed and was like. Like, were you all trying to seed something in the recaps to see if we would notice? The first time, it was just a coincidence, but after that, we would pick something and have the recappers, if they could work in whatever the word was, you know, as an Easter egg for the readers to find. And they very often did very quickly.

[Tara]

Mm.

[Dave]

Let's hear some pop culture calls. Let's start with Kim.

[Caller]

Hi. Listen to Sassy. I'm going to use my name. This is Kim in Goose Creek, South Carolina. I have two mean pop culture stories.

[Dave]

Yes.

[Caller]

And I don't know if this is the thing we're going to start doing now, but I was listening to the latest slumber party and was reminded that my brother, when we were kids could not believe that they had cameras back in the olden days when we were watching Little House on the Prairie. He thought it was filmed at the time. And then my father in law has for years and years and years, whenever it comes up, been amazed and love to tell people about how impressed he was by the main actor in the movie Blind Fury, because he thought he was really blind and he's not. Anyways, I was just walking my dog and thinking about how I've always thought those pop culture stories were funny. And also that I don't care if people know because everyone knows. I mean. All right, y' all have a good day.

[Tara]

Bye. That's what's his nuts. Tears and brain. Yeah.

[Dave]

Yeah. Thank you, Kim, for this call. And you're the only one who did call in with mean pop culture stories. But I'm glad that you did and I hope others follow your lead. This is. This is the energy we want.

[Tara]

Yeah, let's go. My gum this.

[Dave]

Guys, let's gum on gum this. The. The thing about the Little House on the Prairie reminds me of a recent episode of Would I Lied to you? Where one woman on the panel was like, well, I've never seen footage of dinosaurs doing whatever. And then someone on the other side was like, I would venture to say you've never seen footage of dinosaurs.

[Tara]

It's a dinosaur mockumentary. And the Triceratops is like, I know you couldn't see what I just did, but you all know what I do.

[Pam]

Of course they do the Gemmasaurus.

[Dave]

All right, let's hear clip three.

[Tara]

Yo, this is DJ Empirical in Ohio calling regarding the band member Gantt chart thing that you mentioned. That is one of my favorite things about Wikipedia is that they do those Gantt charts. My favorite one being for gwar, because in addition to actual people in real life, they're also playing characters in the band, so there's an extra bit of information they have to squoosh in there too. And of course, some people have been more than one member in the band, despite being, you know, one person in real life. I painted myself in a corner there. Anyway, I just thought I'd mention that Gantt charts rule. Pie charts drool. I don't know. Fine. I like the idea that the Gantt chart has multiple axes. Therefore we need to create the three dimensional Gantt chart where we have different timelines, sort of like firing out from various places. Sort of like evolution tree diagram, except it's all in 3D. That would be kind of great.

[Dave]

Was that the first GWAR reference On listen to Sassy Probably.

[Pam]

I don't think so. I feel like we've talked about.

[Tara]

Oh, right, when you went through your Gwar period. That's by the way, should be the name of your movie. Gwar period.

[Pam]

DJ Empirical. Call anytime. Look at that voice.

[Dave]

Dave knows him. He's a friend. We know him internetly. He worked on the quiz show Great America Pop culture quiz show. Shout Out. DJ Empirical. All right, let's get into the fashion etc calls, starting with number four. Kelly.

[Caller]

Hi, Tara, Pam and Dave. This is Kelly in Rhode Island. I have been re listening to some of the old episodes because we had a sewer backup in our basement a couple weeks ago which was really, really gross. So while I was masked up and gloved up and bleaching everything I could reach, I decided I needed to listen to something fun. And so I didn't have any new episodes to listen to, so I started over. But Now I'm in August 1988 and you guys just had a discussion about band aids being flesh colored and you all determined that, you know, it's racist and everything, but you all determined that it should be the pantone color of the year. Should be band aid. And that just made me laugh because now today, here we are in 2026 in the Pantone color of the year is that dumb lily white color. Whatever. So like, speaking of racism. Anyway, so that wouldn't work this year, but I have to say, I know this is an old topic, but ever since I had kids, I just used the kids band aids and I get so many compliments on my cool band aid that I highly recommend it. And the Wellies Welly brand, they stick really well. So anyway, but thanks for making a really grody task easier and, well, more cheerful, at least for me. And as always, I love the podcast and thanks. Bye.

[Pam]

I was just about to mention wellies.

[Dave]

They do look really cute. I looked some up online. Are you both familiar with the latest pantone color of the year?

[Tara]

No.

[Dave]

That she mentioned. She said it's lily white or something. It's called Cloud Dancer and it's white. I put it in the chat.

[Pam]

It's white. It's an eggshelly white. Right?

[Dave]

It's barely off white. Yeah, eggshelly is accurate. It's supp. The color of luxury. And it's just like this is. This is the laziest shit you could possibly do.

[Tara]

Can I be absolutely honest with you? That is the color of the background to glowing briefcase behind the scenes, not yet released, but that is pretty much the Color that I chose for the background.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Tara]

Slightly warm gray. I wouldn't call that white.

[Dave]

JP Brammer had a very, very funny essay on it in December, which we'll link in the show notes. But one of the lines in it is, as soon as I saw it, I knew I would never own a house. That's the idea.

[Tara]

I am kind of cracking up at this little movie they did as the reveal. The woman in the giantest pants that ever pantsed.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pam]

It feels like another Kanye creation somehow. Like. Like what does he want me to buy now?

[Dave]

Yeah, what is this?

[Tara]

And this. This lady is his girlfriend that ever wears clothes. And he finally got some clothes on her.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Tara]

To make up her time, he put triple Dipple XL on her.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pam]

She's not allowed to look at us. Yeah.

[Dave]

Anyway, let's move on to clip number five.

[Caller]

Hi guys, it's Sarah from just outside Chicago. I had the funniest interaction with my waxer on Friday and I don't know that it's ever come up on listen to Sassy. Maybe it has, but I don't think so. So we were talking about just general waxing practices like sugaring and all this, and ads came and I don't know if you guys remember the infomercial for Ned, of course, but it was basically a wax at home waxing product. But the thing that I remember most about this infomercial is that technically it was edible because I think it was based. I think it was based in like honeys and aloes and things technically that could be eaten, but yeah, so nads. I just want to see if that tickles any little brain cell in anyone's head. But me and my wax are like could not stop laughing. And it is presently still on the market and sells all sorts of other products. So if you need your nads fix. And Nads was named after Nadine, which somehow I remembered 30 some odd years after remembering this infomercial, which can't remember what I need at the grocery store. But Nadine from Australia certainly remembered your name from the Nads infomercial. Anyway, it's been a long weekend and that little memory just popped to mind and I thought I would share it with you guys. Anyway, hope all is well and listen to you soon.

[Dave]

Before we respond to this, Sarah did call back on this subject. So let's hear clip six.

[Caller]

Hello, it is Sarah from outside Chicago again. So I just looked up on the nad's website to see what in fact was inside the nads that made it edible, thinking that it in Fact was honey and some aloes. No, legit. It is lemonade. It's sugar. Little bit of lemon juice. Ta da. That's it. So it's lemon sugar waxing, which is totally a basic thing that their marketing. But I just wanted to call back because I had it in my head that it was some sort of like fancy pants elixir. But it's not. Yeah. So anyway, that's where I'm at again. It's been a very long weekend and I may have taken an edible. So there you go. I took some sort of pill. It's an herbal supplement. There you go. Have a good night.

[Dave]

Oh my. I remember this. I do remember the infomercial, but I also remember when they spoofed it on Friends. We want to be Waxine Girls. And they get trapped in the bedroom waxing their legs. Phoebe and Monica while Ross and Rachel are out in the living room breaking up.

[Tara]

You know, this is my thing because of just where I was in life. But when she started talking about waxers while I thought she was talking about what we use in the newspaper business to stick our columns on the template,

[Dave]

she may have been probably not.

[Tara]

All these sugary ingredients creates what I'm going to call human grade waxing material. Which reminded me of the time I bought a box of dog treats from H E B and they smelled so good. And then I noticed it said human grade dog treats on it. So I had one and they weren't bad. A less sweet maple cream cookie biscuit.

[Dave]

All right, let's hear clip seven.

[Caller]

Hi, Tara. Sorry, I said. I meant hi, Tara, Dave and Pam. It's Emily in New York. Seeing all of the tights over under shorts in the latest issue of Sassy really took me back to my middle school years where that is what I wore all the time. Except for the one time that my dad saw me leaving for school in the middle of winter with tights. I don't even think they were colored. I think they were just pantyhose under a pair of jean shorts and freaked out and said, you can't wear shorts. It's the middle of winter. Go change. And so I changed and put on a denim skirt which I think had less coverage than the shorts did. And that was my introduced introduction to double standards and the ridiculousness of men who have no idea about fashion having any say in what a middle school girl should wear. Thanks so much.

[Dave]

Yeah, Dave?

[Tara]

I was gonna say yeah, dad, but apparently it's on me. Jesus.

[Dave]

I'm just kidding.

[Tara]

No, but seriously, wear more Skirts, ladies. Very attractive.

[Dave]

She's right that you get less coverage in a skirt. She can't do cartwheels in a skirt. Or, you know, she shouldn't. All right, let's hear clip eight. Hello. Listen to Sassy crew.

[Pam]

This is Hayden Haymaker from the Discord or Jenny in real life. And I have a question for Pam. First, a statement.

[Dave]

I need to know more about the brushes.

[Pam]

So I know you were mocked earlier by Dave, but I do need to know more about your brushes. So if this is like, an extra feature we throw more money at or whatever it is. More brushes.

[Dave]

Finally.

[Pam]

All the time, more brushes. But my question is, do you dry brush? I cannot remember if you've talked about it before, but dry brushing is something I can't get into. I've had a friend give me a brush. She has offered to dry brush me, which I cannot abide by. And I've tried dry brushing myself, and it just doesn't really do anything for me. So do you dry brush? Do you have technique recommendations? Brushes, brushes, brushes. Thanks, everyone. Love you. Bye.

[Dave]

Brushes, brushes, brushes.

[Tara]

Before you get into it, I have a question, and I bet you know what it is.

[Pam]

I do.

[Tara]

Okay, great. Go ahead.

[Pam]

Dave, what do you think dry brushing is?

[Tara]

I think it has something to do with, like, a tradition we started with horses.

[Pam]

Well, you're not far, because a dry brushing brush does look like you're going at a horse. And when I have dry brushed. Answer question 1A.

[Dave]

I do feel like a horse.

[Pam]

Because you're like, shucky, shocky shucky with this. Like, you could put your hand through the paddle. It's got the bristles like you're shucky, shucky.

[Caller]

Okay, great.

[Pam]

You know, and I also, I go down my flanks and my haunches. And so when you're dry brushing, it really does feel equine. Oh, also one B. Your friend who wants to dry brush you is into you, Hayden. But as for all of my brushes, you know, we can field trip up to my bathroom and take it. Take it to a next slumber party or something.

[Tara]

Oh, we need music for this. Damn. Yeah, I didn't know there's gonna be

[Pam]

a segment that's on the road.

[Portland Orc]

Pam's house.

[Tara]

Brushes. Brushes with Pam.

[Pam]

I know you like a good sound system, so we'll have to figure out how you want me to do it and. Or I bring them all down. You want me to go get them?

[Tara]

No, don't get them. Next time. We'll do it next time. Okay. All right. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Listeners, you wanna know about brushes, call now so we can get all your brush collected and then we'll have Brushapalooza next slumber party. Okay. We'll have theme music, then themed snacks.

[Pam]

Oh good.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Wow. Will we all remember this in five weeks when we're doing that episode? We definitely will.

[Tara]

We'll get a call. I thought you're going to do brush corner.

[Pam]

Fuck your water picks, brushes only brush piece, brush period. Really Try brush more, brush more, brush more.

[Tara]

Yeah, there you go.

[Dave]

Yes, our next caller is known on our discord and on our sister podcast Extra Extra Hot. Great as Portland Orc, the first and Portland Orc. Yes.

[Tara]

Supposed to be Portland Exorcist, but I read it the first time. So now that's what she is.

[Portland Orc]

Clip 9 We need to talk a little bit about Nanette Laree Hernandez, Planet Earth's wildest woman. Like I cannot, I can't believe, I just can't believe this person. So I looked at her Amazon authoress bio as she goes by. She is a self proclaimed, and I'm guessing nobody else proclaimed military PTSD related intimacy issues expert. What does that mean in the world according to whom? And this is the best part and an anomaly when it comes to having a very clear understanding of the capital P primal capital I instinct of capital M men.

[Dave]

She.

[Portland Orc]

She says she specializes in giving unorthodox sex and relationship advice to the wives and partners of military men. I. I will tell you, she is. She cannot possibly be any sort of licensed professional or I mean could not have been RIP these like there's no credentials here. So I know there's no board overseeing this woman's work or was not,

[Pam]

but

[Portland Orc]

God, I wish there was because I can only imagine the board complaints this person would have gotten. And that's all my time for Portland Orc.

[Dave]

I had to leave that. Wow, I enjoyed that. Let's do the podcast.

[Pam]

Portland, Oregon. Like I feel like you exactly me going through this. Like they're never gonna let me talk about all of this on the podcast. I thought as I kept going further and further down this rabbit hole.

[Dave]

Yeah, she's fascinating. Well, Portland had more to say. Let's go.

[Portland Orc]

No doubt, no doubt. Just to be clear, I'm not dunking on our girl Nanette from like a sex negative place. I'm a little bit clowning on her because it's just very telling. Like when somebody says I graduated from Loma Linda University and where I found my interest in complex PTSD as a mental health professional, what I can tell you from that is this is a person who went to school for something else and is a self identified PTSD expert. I'm guessing also she went to a seventh day Adventist college. And I'm just not to paint with a broad brush, but I'm guessing that's where her extremely rigid gender role stuff maybe is coming from. So I just didn't want it to seem like I was being like, how weird. She talks to people about unorthodox sex stuff. It's just like, I don't know if she should be, you know, but who am I to say? Anyway, thank you for that gift. Look at me. I finished before the end of the time.

[Pam]

Bye.

[Tara]

Hooray.

[Dave]

Appreciated the caveats. It's very responsible.

[Tara]

Okay. If you have somebody giving advice to military people. Sex advice.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Tara]

What do you think? Like, I bet there's military only sex position names like let's roll or, you know, moving out.

[Dave]

Yeah, it's not cowgirl. It's like the left tenant or something.

[Tara]

Right. Improvised explosive dildos. Kind of lost it there.

[Dave]

Well, while we all ponder that, let's hear clip 11. Hey, Dave, Pam and Tara, it's Courtney from Michigan. And I just had a confusing interaction with my mom over hypercolor T shirts because I was never allowed to have one when I was a kid and I could never figure out why. My mom just always said no. She refused to buy one for me and didn't let any grandparents step in and buy them for me. And so I called to ask her what was the deal with hypercolor T shirts? And she said they were inappropriate. And I pressed for more information. And finally she said they were inappropriate because they encouraged people to put their hands all over you to make the shirt change color. And so then I asked her why it was okay for me to have a co ed naked band shirt like two years later. And first she insisted I didn't have one. And when I said I absolutely did and quoted the tagline on the shirt, which was co ed naked band, we do it to the rhythm, she said, oh, I probably just thought that was funny. So that's kind of my 90s childhood in a nutshell. Very confusing restrictions followed by, looking back, utterly bonkers parental laxity. So, okay, have a great week and

[Caller]

I will maybe talk to you guys next time.

[Dave]

Thank you so much, Courtney. We are here for two kinds of calls. Always people calling in with dumb pop culture stories and airing of grievances against parents for 30 year old slice. I love nothing more. It's wonderful. Keep them coming. Thank you so Much. Finally, we're just going to call these compliment corner. And, you know, we could just listen to these and move on, but life is hard and we deserve this. So let's hear clip 12.

[Tara]

Before we start. Does anybody else? When people say hello A, B and C, they're like, oh, I hope I'm first this time. I kind of wish I kept track historically, what order we are welcomed in, because it's not me who's in first, but once in a while they say,

[Pam]

Dave, that might be why you're keeping score.

[Dave]

At least you guys are both getting your names pronounced right. Just kidding. Whoever said that wrong and immediately corrected themselves. I don't even notice. And I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't said anything. Let's hear clip 12.

[Caller]

Hey, this is Kara in Macon, Georgia. Yes, Georgia. And I'm not surprised. I know where I live. I've been here 15 years. I've adjusted.

[Tara]

It's going great.

[Caller]

Yeah, I just wanted to say a couple of things. One, your podcast has literally kept me sane the last couple years. It is by far my favorite podcast. To The Slumber Party, December 1989 with Dave's Christmas piles. I have literally listened to this, this five minute gem probably 300 times in the last several months. It's not. Yeah, it's been on a struggle bus. And you guys have really helped me. I cannot tell you how many times I have laughed out loud so many times. Fuck your Christmas piles. I. It just. It is just so absolutely delightful. You guys are absolutely wonderful. I introduced yet again another of my classes today. I teach at private women's college, and I teach many things. But in my finance class, I was showing them Safi magazine, teaching them about gross profit income statements. Who gives a shit? In any case, I had a chance to expose them to Sassy. But yeah, I absolutely love you guys. Thank you so much. And this is never gonna send Keith Coogan forever.

[Dave]

The Christmas piles. They live on.

[Tara]

Yeah, I forget where we came down on that. We all agreed I was right, right?

[Dave]

Sure, sure. Were there Christmas piles this year, Dave.

[Tara]

That's true. I did guilty you into solving that problem for me. So win for me.

[Dave]

And I think we've already said it on this podcast, but I did take down the Christmas tree unboxing day, which is the day after Christmas, so.

[Tara]

You're making me sound like a monster.

[Dave]

Well, if the monster fits.

[Tara]

All right, Tara.

[Dave]

Okay, well, the final two calls are both from our old friend, Portland Orc. The first. So let's hear him.

[Portland Orc]

Oh, is that working?

[Pam]

Yes. Okay.

[Portland Orc]

Hello. Listen to Sassy. This is obviously the voice of an orc, so I don't need to tell you who I am. I have been listening forever and this is my first time calling in and I'm probably gonna have to call back a bunch of times because I have a lot to say because I've been saving up my voicemails forever. So first. Man, I'm probably not even gonna get through my first thing in 60 seconds. I'll try. I love this show so much. It's brought me so much joy over the years. I was very excited when. I don't even remember where I heard about it. I think. I don't know. So somebody mentioned that there was a Sassy related podcast that was going to be coming out soon to me, and I was very excited. And then when I saw that there was going to be a man involved, no offense, I felt unexcited. And I really. I was like, so nervous to listen to the first episode and I was very ready to be, like, annoyed or pissed off. And then in the first episode that I listened to, Dave made that joke about how you can. Sorry, you can get discharged. Vaginal discharge is one of the ways to get discharged from the army. And I laughed so hard in public that I was wearing a backpack full of groceries and it completely flipped over my head and flipped me over and I'll have to stop there and call back.

[Dave]

She did. Let's hear our final call.

[Tara]

Oh, my God. I almost so did my keyboard there.

[Dave]

Yeah, he really did.

[Tara]

All right. Cliparti.

[Portland Orc]

It's eating at me and it'll bug me unless I clarify that in my first message, when I said I was wearing a backpack full of groceries and caused me to fall over, I. I just meant I was walking home from the grocery store carrying groceries in a backpack because that's what I used to do. It was not like a Lady Gaga meat dress situation. It was not like a fashion groceries wearing incident. I just was walking home from the grocery store listening to. Listen to Sassy. And then Dave made that joke about the ways you can get discharged from the army.

[Dave]

And.

[Portland Orc]

And it made me laugh really hard. And I bent over double. And because I was carrying a bunch of heavy groceries, the weight of the backpack caused me to completely flip over. And I do think about that probably at least once a week. And, you know, I live in a small town, and so I just know there's some people floating around out there who definitely saw that happen, and I hope they enjoyed it. Okay, I now I'M really done. I promise.

[Caller]

Okay, goodbye.

[Dave]

That was the fourth of four calls. I just love the to bring us full circle in our calls. You might be the person that someday is being told, hey, did you ever see a person in our town fall over with groceries on their back and have to tell them like Marnie's friend? I do remember that because it was me.

[Pam]

In August of 2023, Tig Notaro had a podcast called Don't Ask Tig or no One Asked Tig. And it was like she doesn't know advice. But it was an advice thing. And I decided to call the Tig the Taro phone number to give some thoughts on both. Both how cool it was that we had something in common and also the latest episode. And I did exactly this. I talked until that thing cut off to where I saved it in my voice memo called no one asked Pam because it never aired on the Tig podcast and I've only played it for one other person and she went, oh no. So I've shared it here with you in the chat in case you want to use it for a future episode.

[Dave]

Yeah, maybe Dave, you can put it as the outro. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. Next time we're opening up the September 1991 issue to talk about its teen life topics. Karen's worried about farming. Popular people are probably insecure. What he said about crying and more.

[Pam]

Hey, I went to my local comic book shop and I got this really great print about the this with this girl putting her finger over this boy's mouth and it says, shh, shh, shh. I have more funny things to say. This is by Siobhan Gallagher. And then I went to her stuff and she sells something called the Gross Girls Coloring Book. And she also has this print called justice for Rizzo. Because in the opening credits of Grease, Rizzo looks like shit.

[Dave]

She really does. She made a better Rizzo that you

[Tara]

can have if you want to support the podcast. It's $5 a month. Get those PDFs worth the price alone. And you also can join our discord Say hi to Portland Orc the first. You can support us for free by rating us on the podcast app you're using right now. We are asking for 27 star reviews. You can follow Tara tara.com on Blue Sky. That's it. Nobody else in Blue sky is going to give you the time of day you for even asking.

[Pam]

But I'll see you over on Instagram.

[Tara]

Oh, sorry. Pam Ribbon on Instagram. No. Pamela Ribbon on Instagram. Probably. I'm guessing Right. Did you get Pamela Ribbon? Somebody take it. This is somebody poaching your name wherever you go. It's me.

[Pam]

It's me. I got there a long time ago.

[Tara]

Okay, great mean pop culture stories, please. Yes,

[Pam]

Hi, Tick. This is Pam Ribbon, and this is a voicemail I'm sending you called no One Asked Pam. That's my podcast response to your podcast, Don't Ask Tig. Here's the thing. Claudia Caine's Kane should have maybe been named Citizen, but I'm really happy with Elle Woods. You mentioned recently that one of your favorite songs is I Can See Clearly Now. And this is the song that the nurse sang to my mother as I was born after 36 hours of labor. So it is a very sweet song. I'm quite lucky that I wasn't named Blue Sky Ribbon or Blue Ribbon, which is what was gonna happen because of Look All around, there's nothing but Blue Sky. Also almost named Rainbow Ribbon, because here is that rainbow I've been waiting for. So Pam's a very basic name and no one really wants it. You're just kind of given it. But it's. There are options that would have made life harder for me anyway. One time I was next to you at the. What's wrong with me? One time I was next to you at baggage claim, and I just, you know, had already given you full fan face of a smile when you looked up. And you, you know, we're just trying to, like, text or pretend you were waiting on an Uber. Who cares? None of my business. I had so many feelings. Because when Mississippi is one of the best things that's ever been made by anyone, people or animal. Not that there's a difference. Oh, no. I'm never going to get out of this. But you did tell me to keep it to under three minutes, which I will be able to to do. When Mississippi is one of the best things ever in the world. And so I had all these feelings when I saw you that are just pure joy, but you looked up and I think I just said, you're great. And you said, thanks, which is really what else you're supposed to say.

[Dave]

And then you moved away from me

[Pam]

because you have boundaries. And the point is, Tig, you're just great. This is not even. I don't even. What is the advice? What is your advice for people who are full of joy? I'm, you know, I'm very Pete Holmesy. And Petey Pants is just a perfect nickname. And listen, so what do you do when you know that when you are confronted with someone who has given you such joy and happiness and the freedom to have epiphanies like you really do more than your dry wit allows for you to accept. And that's fine. I hope, like you do accept it. The point is, out of three minutes. Yes. Oh. So what do you do when you're someone like me who does encounter other people in the world? Because I'm a creative person, I. I work. I work. I'm an employed professional human being. They let me in rooms with people and I have a pretty good face about it. While I'm out of time. What do you do when you're me and. And. And you want to tell someone you think they're great, but you also don't want to. To maybe do it like this in three minutes. Bye. I love you. Bye.

[Tara]

Bye. Order of the Peaky Blinders Academy Award winner Cillian Murphy returns alongside an all star cast including Rebecca Ferguson, Tim Roth, Sophie Rundle. With Academy Award nominee Barry Keoghan and Emmy award winner Stephen Graham. In Netflix's upcoming film Peaky Blinders, the Immortal Man, Tommy Shelby must face his own demons and choose whether to confront his legacy or burn it to the ground. Peaky Blinders the Immortal man is in select theaters March 6 and on Netflix March 20.

[Caller]

Rated R.