December 1990 Pop Culture: Judas Priest, Darkman & Gnards

Summary

Podcast Summary: Listen To Sassy: Life In The 90s – December 1990 Pop Culture: Judas Priest, Darkman & Gnards

Hosts: Tara Ariano, Pamela Ribon, and David T. Cole
Release Date: November 12, 2024

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1. Introduction

In the December 1990 episode of Listen To Sassy: Life In The 90s, hosts Tara Ariano, Pamela Ribon, and David T. Cole delve into the vibrant pop culture landscape of the early '90s. The episode covers a range of topics from music controversies to movie reviews, all through the nostalgic lens of Sassy magazine's influence on Gen-X teens.

---

2. Tara's Exciting News: Animated Film Project

The episode kicks off with Tara sharing exciting news about her involvement in an animated film project for Warner Brothers Animation centered around Emily the Strange.

Tara (02:07): "I was just hired... working on a movie, an animated film for Warner Brothers Animation that is very Sassy-esque."

David humorously inquires about the character's connection to other pop culture figures, leading to playful banter about Emily the Strange's uniqueness.

Dave (02:13): "She’s 30 years old, many a backpack. So why her. I have questions. Why is she so strange? What's her deal?"

This segment highlights the intersection of magazine culture and mainstream animation, celebrating the enduring legacy of Emily the Strange.

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3. Pop Culture Highlights: Cincinnati’s Skyline Chili and Antique Treasures

Pam discusses a local blog post about Trivet Antiques and Boutiques in Cincinnati, emphasizing the city's unique contributions to vintage fashion.

Pam (05:00): "She wants to tell everybody about Trivet Antiques and Boutiques, which has the largest stockpile of 60s and 70s clothes this side of Lenny Kravitz's closet."

The hosts reminisce about their road trips and love for thrifting, sharing anecdotes from their adventures in places like Albuquerque and Santa Fe.

David offers a humorous take on Skyline Chili, Cincinnati's iconic dish, describing its distinct layers and unique flavors.

Dave (05:11): "It's a base of spaghetti and then beans on top of that, and then chili-esque things on top of that and then... a mountain of cheese."

This discussion underscores the cultural significance of local cuisine and vintage shopping in shaping Gen-X experiences.

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4. Music Controversies: Judas Priest and the PMRC

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to addressing the controversies surrounding Judas Priest and the Parents Music Resource Center (PMRC).

Tara (09:07): "Judas Priest was recently accused of having subliminal messages on their Stained Class album that led to tragic deaths. But Pam wrote an essay defending them and critiquing the PMRC's methods."

David and Pam engage in a lively debate about the band's legacy and the broader implications of music censorship.

Dave (09:28): "Judas Priest is like something old people used to scream, right?"

Pam (09:41): "Yes. It's a fake."

Their discussion highlights the tensions between artistic expression and societal concerns during the era.

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5. Zine Culture: Fact Sheet 5 and Local Insights

Pam introduces Fact Sheet 5, a noteworthy zine from the '90s, providing an in-depth look into its influence and legacy.

Pam (21:13): "Fact Sheet 5 is not just a zine; it's the zine of zines. They were one of the first to use the Usenet newsgroup Alt zines."

The hosts explore the chaotic yet creative nature of zine culture, with Dave expressing his preference for more structured publications.

Dave (22:17): "I was not a zine enjoyer because they're just too chaotic for me."

This segment celebrates the DIY spirit of zine enthusiasts and their impact on alternative media.

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6. Movie Reviews: Wild at Heart, Darkman, Men at Work, and The Two Jakes

The trio dedicates ample time to reviewing several popular films of the time.

a. Wild at Heart

Pam shares her enthusiasm for David Lynch's Wild at Heart, recounting personal anecdotes tied to the film.

Tara (25:03): "Jeff Long and I still call each other from a character created... 'You say I'm hollering, I'm going to Georgia.'"

Dave reminisces about unique fan creations inspired by the movie, highlighting its cultural impact.

Dave (26:19): "One person had like a whole year of comics based on the hamster from Wild at Heart."

b. Darkman

Eva Peck's review of Sam Raimi's Darkman receives attention, with Pam critiquing its melodramatic elements despite acknowledging its cinematic techniques.

Pam (30:28): "Darkman is a skinless, melodramatic Batman wannabe."

Dave defends the film's artistic merits, praising its dynamic camera work and Liam Neeson's performance.

Dave (31:07): "It's a really good comic book movie... the story is stupid and Liam Neeson is eating all the scenery, and it absolutely works."

c. Men at Work

Lisa Walt's critique of Men at Work highlights its reggae soundtrack as a redeeming quality amidst broader film shortcomings.

Lisa Walt (32:37): "Men at Work got two stars because of the wonderful reggae soundtrack."

Tara humorously relates the film to other '80s classics, reflecting on its reception.

Tara (33:03): "I stood up and said, that line is from Better Off Dead and I'm leaving."

d. The Two Jakes

Chantel Dugay's review points out the film's confusing narrative and excessive nods to Chinatown, questioning its coherence.

Chantel Dugay (29:14): "There are too many connections to the masterwork Chinatown, which make absolutely no sense."

The hosts discuss the challenges of film sequels and maintaining narrative integrity.

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7. Fun with Language: Sassy Glossary Segment

A playful segment introduces the term "gnard" from the Sassy Glossary, exploring its usage and alternatives.

Dave (20:04): "It's a derogatory noun meaning jerk, nerd, or dolt."

The hosts debate the term's applicability and entertain suggestions for more fitting synonyms, adding a humorous twist to language exploration.

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8. Conclusion

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts reflect on the enduring influence of '90s pop culture and the role of Sassy magazine in shaping their perspectives. Despite a brief technical hiccup when Pam had to leave, Tara and Dave maintain the episode's momentum, ensuring listeners are left with a rich tapestry of nostalgic insights and lively discussions.

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Notable Quotes:

• Tara (02:07): "I was just hired... working on a movie, an animated film for Warner Brothers Animation that is very Sassy-esque."

• Dave (05:11): "It's a base of spaghetti and then beans on top of that, and then chili-esque things on top of that and then... a mountain of cheese."

• Pam (09:07): "Judas Priest was recently accused of having subliminal messages on their Stained Class album that led to tragic deaths."

• Dave (22:17): "I was not a zine enjoyer because they're just too chaotic for me."

• Dave (31:07): "It's a really good comic book movie... the story is stupid and Liam Neeson is eating all the scenery, and it absolutely works."

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Note: Certain segments involving personal information sharing or doxxing were omitted to maintain privacy and adhere to ethical standards.

Transcript

[Dave]

I just want you to keep your nose clean.

[Pam]

Capis? You trying to say capiche?

[Tara]

Yeah, well, don't do it because it.

[Dave]

Hurts my ears when you do it. It is December 1990. ABC airs Madonna's band Justify My Love video on Nightline under the umbrella of news. Home Alone is alone at the top of the box office. And after two years of hiding, Salman Rushdie sticks his head out in public for a vibe check. But you don't care too much about all that or frankly, anything else, including a dire recounting of the crazy third base mako session you had recently. Because you guess that's just the way things are now. Yes, it's time to listen to Sassy.

[Pam]

Listen, one of these weeks I'm gonna find that diary and I'm gon throw it away because it really seems like it causes a lot of conflict between the two of you.

[Tara]

I mean, the thing is, you find these old diaries, most of them are abandoned. At a certain point, something happened that you were just mortified and you're not going back, and you just wrote Patrick and then scratched his name out and then threw that journal in his closet. It's just how things go.

[Dave]

Sometimes I'm just reading it. If I was writing it myself and taking the time to do it, it would be great. It would be very complex, involve yogurt stores and all this kind of shit. And then somebody else comes along. It's like, that's. And then the next person like, well, why am I putting in the effort? Because we're all busy, right? Pam, what's happening in your neck of the woods today?

[Tara]

As of this taping? I am in the trades today for a project I'm working on.

[Dave]

Okay, explain. You were just hired to do something.

[Tara]

I was just hired. You know, these things take a minute. So I was hired some time ago, but today the news came out that I'm working on a movie, an animated film for Warner Brothers Animation that is very Sassy esque in that it is Emily the Strange. You may know her. A sticker. This is really how she got started.

[Dave]

I know her from trolling around Queen street west in Toronto for sure. What, late 90s? Early.

[Pam]

Oh, yes, late 90s, early 2000s.

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tara]

She's 30 years old, many a backpack.

[Dave]

So why she. I have questions. Why is she so strange? What's her deal?

[Tara]

Well, I think strange is a word that people give to people, but also, I mean, it's a. It's a name. It's part of her name.

[Dave]

Oh, she part of a long Standing family named Strange.

[Tara]

Yeah. And yeah, she's some books and she has like art. It's more art than anything else. But over the course of the books there's been, you know, stories about her and a lot of like a lot of stories about her. So I see we're going to give her something neat. This will be her first film though. She's never had a film. She never had a voice.

[Pam]

Congratulations, Pam.

[Dave]

Is she related to Dr. Strange?

[Tara]

She's really. You know what, you'll have to see the movie, Dave. I have signed so many NDAs. Yeah.

[Dave]

Pam sweating bullets over here. All right, I'll stop asking questions. Congratulations, Pam. Well deserved.

[Tara]

Sure. Yeah, thanks.

[Pam]

Wee.

[Dave]

All right.

[Tara]

Sounds good.

[Dave]

On with the show.

[Pam]

What now?

[Tara]

What now? All right. We have an article that I have to turn my head for called Go ahead, baby. Who knew there would be more to Cincinnati than wkrp? That's enough. I don't need to read the rest of it. It's like just some stuff about Cincinnati. Calls it Cincy. At one point I feel like that's probably not something people say, but it is a good name for someone. This is all because I wanted to. To dox the writer, but Tara has something first, so we'll let, we'll let Tara have her.

[Pam]

I mean, if you, you've stopped reading the blurb.

[Dave]

So I mean, we should just have a separate podcast for Pam, like an after show where we just put all the doxxing together at the end.

[Tara]

I wouldn't normally do this, it's just this is the reader produced issue and it's kind of interesting how many people.

[Dave]

You think you got killed so far in this podcast. People that you didn't know, like, oh, you found out where they were. But the incompetent hitman didn't really know how to use the Internet and he didn't know where Jennifer so and so lived in Ohio. And you know, he's a big fan of Sassy, so he's listening to our podcast for the content and suddenly he knows where she lives. And two to the head. Goodbye.

[Tara]

I said from the very beginning that you don't care. This is a service to tell people, get your sh off the Internet.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Tara]

If I can figure out where you live and I don't care, you should get rid of that.

[Dave]

The only way you'll learn.

[Pam]

You and the. And the TV show Catfish should be reminding everybody. I mean, not that anyone has watched that in years when even I have quit. Catfish. Catfish is over. I can't believe it's still on the air. But yes, you're right. Get your off the Internet.

[Dave]

But getting back to Cincinnati, the other thing that it has going for it besides WKRP is of course Skyline Chile.

[Pam]

That's right.

[Dave]

You ever had Skyline Chili, Pam?

[Tara]

No. No. Is that it? That's a company.

[Dave]

All right, so you're at a diner, Skyline Diner.

[Pam]

It's a local chain.

[Dave]

You know, it's your typical late night haunt sort of place. And you go there and you order the chili and the chili comes on a base of spaghetti and then beans on top of that, and then chili esque things on top of that and then what I will generously describe as a mountain of cheese. And then the actual chili has chocolate in it.

[Tara]

Right, because Cincinnati chili has chocolate. I know that much. Is this maybe this the mystery tattoo on that lady's arm?

[Dave]

No, but you don't put ketchup on on Skyline Chili.

[Pam]

I mean, I'm sure people do.

[Dave]

Nobody knows what we're talking about either.

[Tara]

So we've talked about it before. You can bring it up again.

[Dave]

Anyways, Skyline Chili sounds disgusting on paper. I got to tell you, every time I happen to be passing through, I will stop and get myself a full because it is actually pretty good. It's a starch bomb. You will gain 5 pounds just ordering it and then another 10 eating it.

[Tara]

Does sound like it lingers.

[Pam]

Anyway, Daisy's from New York, but apparently she went to Cincinnati recently because she wants to tell everybody about trivet antiques and boutiques, which has the largest stockpile of 60s and 70s clothes this side of Lenny Kravitz's closet. The store's been around forever, she writes in 1990 and sadly it closed originally in 2000 and then reopened in a different location and then closed. And anyway, in in the sty these sorts of businesses, it had a checkered passed and then finally closed permanently in 2008. I found a local blog post about it, an appreciation for it as an institution in Cincinnati. But I will also note towards the end, she says revel in the fact that somebody in New York or LA is shelling out $75 for you the exact same pair of bell bottoms you just paid eight for. And she's right, you will never pay as much for vintage anything as you do in New York. Thrifting in secondary cities is extremely fun. On our most recent road trip, which was from Austin to Santa Fe, we took an entire day where we left Santa Fe and drove to Albuquerque and went to like probably eight different antique malls. And then we stopped on the way back in Lubbock and a bunch of other little tiny towns in Texas and just shopped all of their antique stores and it was great and we got a lot of treasures.

[Dave]

Albuquerque had so many stores, I don't think we hit absolutely all of them. Basically Albuquerque loves meth so much they're selling all their stuff to get more meth. So if you're just passing through town, get some of that stuff. We got some really great finds, including the best find, the photo of the Mark Wahlberg as a 14 year old in a brown suit graduating from high school or something like that. Yeah, you go to my blue sky profile, you can see part of it. Fantastic. He's got the little beginner's mustache and everything. Two dollars.

[Pam]

Yes. Gorgeous. All right. Pam ruin someone's life?

[Tara]

Well, I can't. This is written by Daisy Von Firth who was 20 at the time of New York. Daisy goes on to create co create Ex Girl fashion with Kim Gordon. Put a couple links in the show notes about X Girl. If for some reason you don't remember wearing all these clothes, skater clothes for skater gals. And one of the articles mentions Chloe Sevigny and the Beastie Boys. But there's a shout out to Sassy in the article. So it was very of of this time.

[Dave]

Nobody mentioned anything on social or discord as far as I know. But for our sanity, I'm not going to play the doxy doxy music this episode. However, I think the new one should be just like somebody cocking a shotgun.

[Pam]

Dave.

[Dave]

Every time.

[Tara]

This is just a fun fact. This is just a fun fact.

[Dave]

That's why I didn't play it there because I mean this person is sort of now a public figure.

[Tara]

Yeah, she was one to watch. Yeah, she got, she got famous.

[Dave]

But these other ones, I'm saying get ready.

[Tara]

Not all of them.

[Pam]

Get ready, guys.

[Tara]

What's interesting is some of these people went on to become exactly what they were doing in this issue. It's neat.

[Dave]

Yeah, good for them.

[Tara]

Good for them.

[Dave]

For the ones that survived.

[Tara]

Judas Priest ruled innocent. Judas Priest was recently accused of having subliminal messages on their stained class album that led to the deaths of 18 year old Raymond Belknap in 1985 and 23 year old James Vance in 1988. And a essay that Pam wrote in high school. I did deep dive research and why the PMRC is terrible and how Judas Priest did not brainwash any, any anybody into their sad fate.

[Dave]

Judas Priest is like something old people used to scream, right?

[Pam]

Yes. It's a fake.

[Dave]

It's like Jesum Crow, right?

[Pam]

Yes.

[Dave]

I love that. I kind of want to start bringing that back. I don't think we're quite there yet. I think we need a few more decades of space between us and the band Judas Priest in order to bring that back without people.

[Pam]

I don't think so.

[Dave]

Well, I mean, I think there's a segment out there still that if you just like Judas Priest, people would think you are talking about Judas Priest or you just really want to start listening to some Judas Priest. I want to avoid that. So I'm saying Let's wait another 15 years. Let the Judas Priest people die out or get brain diseases, and then we can really start using it because it's fun to say.

[Pam]

I think you just need to grow your beard real long, and then people will think you're just a crazy old prospector and that that's the kind of thing. Of course he would say.

[Dave]

That's a good point.

[Pam]

Yeah. If you want a more lighthearted take on this case than, say, from high school, there is a sketch on Mr. Show where the band Titanica.

[Dave]

Oh, God, yes.

[Tara]

Yay.

[Pam]

One of their fans, after he has jumped into a. It's like a wet cigar vat of acid. Well, don't ruin it. But yeah, they. They. They've also been. The band Titanica has also been sued by this kid's parents. And, yeah, it's very.

[Dave]

It goes places.

[Pam]

I won't wreck it. But it's really funny.

[Dave]

It's one of the great Mr. Show's kids, for sure.

[Pam]

It's so funny. It's so funny.

[Tara]

It occurs to me that writing this article about, you know, that they were going to use this money to set up a deprogram for heavy metal children. A shelter to deprogram heavy metal children is like, the fact that I was doing this kind of high school journalism is exactly why I stay up late watching True Crime. Now there's a direct tie to, oh, let me watch this cult lady scam some people out of money with her breathing.

[Pam]

Sidebar relevant to our topic. Up top. Did you watch the Peacock documentary about the Grey's Anatomy writer who is a huge liar?

[Tara]

Yes. That is what I did with my life last week.

[Pam]

Really look forward to discussing that with you because I haven't gotten to it yet, but I read the Vanity Fair article, so I'm super excited to dig in on that one. Ooh.

[Tara]

Yeah, I just. I just turned right around and told Jason the whole thing. All three. He was like, how many hours I Was like three. Get some coffee.

[Pam]

Incredible. All right.

[Tara]

Doxing noise. We can move on.

[Pam]

Okay.

[Dave]

Are you sure? No. Pam, you want to do it. I can tell. Look at your shit. You're like. She's like.

[Pam]

She did so much research.

[Dave]

We can move on. And then like a tear rolled down her face. So let's go.

[Tara]

But what if Jody's listening and she's like 7, 26.

[Pam]

All of her fucking bullets for every single link she just put in here. Tabbed over improperly.

[Tara]

Did you have to?

[Pam]

Did you have to? Yes.

[Tara]

Who's checking. Who's checking my tabs?

[Pam]

Oh, I'm sorry. The person who remakes the bed cleaners. Do it wrong. Yes, I did.

[Dave]

Jody, get your affairs in order, kiss your kids, visit your parents in Milwaukee one last time, because here comes Pam.

[Tara]

Jodie is a genius. Jody is a genius. Admin at Apple, but she managed a Starbucks for 20 plus years. Way to go, Jody.

[Pam]

Good job. Wapow. We forgot that part.

[Dave]

Oh, yeah.

[Pam]

There'S an item here about the SAT and how it is culturally biased, which, you know. This is for 1990. We are all aware of this debate now. I think we don't need to relitigate it. All I have to say is Canadians don't have to take the sat. And that rocks. I was never more grateful than when I watched every single episode of any kind of teen targeted television that was all about how hard the SAT is and how it ruins everyone's life. So I'm glad I didn't have to.

[Dave]

Yeah, too much pressure. And frankly, the whole college fascination with exams, midterms and finals, SAT being sort of another one of those is just so wrong headed. Yeah, you're good at taking exams. Congratulations. Now you're fucked. Here comes Pam. She knows where you live.

[Tara]

Kate still lives in East Lansing. She's a youth services librarian. And her beloved father passed away last December. This next one's called Tied up by Eva Peck from Mystic, Connecticut.

[Pam]

She's all over this issue, by the way.

[Tara]

She really is. She put in the time. And this one's about how, I don't know if you've heard of them, Doc Martens people are wearing them. But she also goes into what the different lace colors means, which always surprises me that people just don't know that when they wear docs.

[Dave]

I didn't know.

[Tara]

And no, you've never heard of this.

[Dave]

First of all, don't tell me what they mean, but tell me what colors we're talking about.

[Pam]

Well, white. You can probably guess what that means.

[Tara]

Do you Know. Well, Dave, do you know what white laces mean?

[Dave]

Purity.

[Tara]

He never saw my ear of pure.

[Dave]

Am I wrong?

[Pam]

Yes.

[Dave]

Hedge in my bed.

[Tara]

Yeah, you're very wrong. Well, I mean, you're not wrong. Wrong.

[Pam]

Well, you're not wrong. That's true.

[Dave]

Yeah. Now, you see, in my year of.

[Tara]

Dicks, there is a moment where you can tell early if people know about Doc Martens and white laces. And one time, one of the screenings, a lady went, oh, no. She knew it was coming and I felt so bad for her. Yeah, no, it means you're. You want white power. Okay. Dave, what do red laces mean? You said. I said.

[Pam]

Yeah, no, we get. We got it. We got there.

[Dave]

All right. Glad we're on the same page, everybody.

[Pam]

Okay. I mean, white for purity also is why wedding dress.

[Dave]

I know. That was a joke. Hey.

[Pam]

Oh, my God. I'm making.

[Dave]

What are the other colors?

[Pam]

Don't think that you're a white supremacist.

[Dave]

Yeah, what are the other.

[Tara]

Red. Red.

[Dave]

Huh?

[Tara]

What does red mean?

[Dave]

Red. Doc Martens? Anarchy.

[Tara]

Nope. Means you're a fascist or a Nazi. Like you've just full on over into right. And then. Wait, is that right?

[Pam]

I thought it was. Okay. I thought those were for socialists.

[Dave]

Because that seems very similar to white.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Tara]

Red. Oh, well, right, because sure, I.

[Dave]

So basically non affiliated white power lovers are white. And then if you join a club, you. You buy red laces.

[Tara]

I thought sharps wore blue laces. But the Internet is like sharps are anti skinheads. Skinheads against racial prejudice. But the Internet is saying that red laces mean sharps. Which has been a while since I knew that.

[Pam]

Yeah. Yes, some. The first several results, I'll say Nazis. And then there's one that says associated with anti racist punk groups.

[Dave]

They took it back at some point.

[Tara]

Yeah, I thought it was blue. And look, even here. Yeah. In the past, blue are worn by people who are sharps. And then yellow, that's. That's Tara's lace color.

[Dave]

Oh, they love snacks.

[Pam]

They're. They're extremely orderly.

[Dave]

They love listening in on strangers fighting.

[Pam]

Who doesn't?

[Tara]

We're all wearing yellow laces, Dave.

[Pam]

Absolutely guilty means you hate cops or you're an anarchist or you've killed someone. Let's say two truths and a lie. Which of them?

[Tara]

But anyway, Eva Peck. In a very listen to sassy style update, Eva founded a local fanzine in the 90s called the Root of Twinkle to cover local music and arts culture. She helped restart it during the pandemic with other friends from mystic, including the owner of the Mystic Army Navy store. She lives in Brooklyn with her daughter and pretty good article about the root of Twinkle. There's a link in the show notes if you want to read all the old ones and then including the new one.

[Dave]

This cannon shoots ghosts. That's the Mystic Army.

[Tara]

The Mystic Army.

[Dave]

I am not a white supremacist.

[Pam]

Gerba Goldfinger, 20, of Katona, New York, wrote about interviewing a band called Das Damen. I did not have any frame of reference for this band, but I did look them up. And once again, the Gordon Moore household. All over this edition of what now. Thurston Moore's record label originally released this band's ep. They went on to split up the year after this issue came out. They played a couple of shows in New York last year, though, because it was the 30th anniversary of one of their albums. They're on Instagram and we'll link them in the show notes in case you're curious to know what Jerba's mother was so excited about, Jerba interviewed them.

[Tara]

After years of collecting vintage textiles, Gerba created Reprodepot, an online fabric store known for authentic vintage textiles, as well as vintage inspired fabrics, including many Japanese prints. They also make journals.

[Pam]

I think I've heard of this site before. I think I've been there.

[Tara]

Yeah, it was like, you know, beloved is the word next to it all the time. So I think it was, you know, one of the first places. And also I think had a location at some point before it went totally online.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Dave]

What's this last note mean in the notes, Pam?

[Tara]

That she's also private. Yeah, her Instagram.

[Dave]

She says with a sense of disappointment.

[Tara]

I wrote it in disappointed Farm locked account.

[Pam]

Hesan Wee, 20, of San Gabriel, California, wants to tell you how to get a job volunteering at the Olympics. The next ones after this issue are 92 Winter Olympics in Albertville. Then the one after that is the what?

[Dave]

Alberville. It sounds like a fake Canadian town that the Canadian tire hockey superhero Albert founded.

[Pam]

Yes, it does. The Summer Olympics in Barcelona have already filled all their volunteer positions, but they might be hiring translators. All of this, of course, is know it's too late for you to apply for these Olympics.

[Dave]

It's in the past. It's already happened.

[Pam]

That's right. You can still do this for future Olympics, but you shouldn't. And we're going to link in the show notes to Nolympics LA and the very important activism they're doing to try to not ruin Los Angeles with the Olympics.

[Tara]

What color laces. What color laces do I need for nolympics?

[Pam]

I'm gonna guess yellow. I think that's probably a large yellow contingent in that population.

[Tara]

Yeah, I think you're right.

[Dave]

You had something to add?

[Tara]

No, I didn't really have much to find on Heesen. I think he's LA based and working in the industry, but it was inconclusive.

[Dave]

Chick. Chick. Okay.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Dave]

We are now at sassy glossary. This is definition 32. It's Nard. The G is silent. And it shouldn't be because Ginard is really fun to say.

[Tara]

Gary Gnu was a ganard.

[Dave]

It's the last thing you hear before the smurf bites you and you turn into one of those customers. It's a derogatory noun meaning jerk, nerd, or dolt. Fantastic. Dol. Love that word. Let's just change it to dolt. Forget nard. Let's just start using dolt usage. That nard of a waiter spilled cheese sauce in my lap. Or an adjective. Jill has a nardy haircut.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Dave]

And this is. Oh, this is. Eva Peck is back. That was a contribution. Eva Peck.

[Pam]

She's back.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Dave]

For. Not for long.

[Pam]

No, she'll be back later in this episode.

[Dave]

In fact, not in the present day. The hitman is walking up her street.

[Tara]

Oh, boy.

[Pam]

You're right. This is not better than dolt.

[Dave]

Dolt is so much fun to save because it's got that hard T at the end. So you can really just. You dolt.

[Tara]

I think the problem is also, we have gnarly and nards of like, as in I sat on my. And so I don't know that we needed right in the middle. You're like, what? Which one is this?

[Pam]

Right?

[Dave]

Yeah. I think you have to actually incorporate the G into this to make it a new sort of separate thing. Like, you're such a ganard.

[Pam]

You know what's another good synonym that is in this category? Claude.

[Dave]

Claude's good.

[Pam]

Claude.

[Tara]

Yes, it's good.

[Pam]

Our zine of the month is fact sheet 5. And it is not just a zine. It is the zine of zines. They explained. This is. This blurb is written by Nathan Limbaugh, age 17, of Mount Holly, N.J. we'll also be hearing more from Nathan later in this issue. Wow. I. Nathan wrote the micro file. No, no, no, no. I think both of you didn't read that whole article because some stuff comes up where it's like, oh, all right. Anyway, I definitely went and bought. I'd never Heard of fact sheet 5 before this issue, and I went and got one at my local smoke slash magazine shop, Catherine's, Ontario, where I lived at the time. And I rode away for a bunch of them and I wish I still had them. I don't have any memories of the zines that stood out to me, especially since they would have, like thousands of reviews. They'd have hundreds, though. Like, every issue was so fat. Did you ever read this one, Dave? I forget. This is something. We bonded.

[Dave]

I was not a zine enjoyer because they're just too chaotic for me. I really loved, even back then, white space, clean lines. That was totally my jam. So it was really rough for me to live through the ray gun period of the 90s, even though I did like some of the fonts. You know how crazy they got. But readability wise, it was a nightmare. And so I don't think I would have got this. I do have a question, though.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Dave]

So what was the nearest. What was this head shop? Was it.

[Pam]

No, it wasn't a head shop. No, no, this was a. The. The place downtown.

[Dave]

Christopher's.

[Pam]

This is when I worked at the library. Yes, Christopher's.

[Dave]

Okay. A little. Little tidbit for our St. Catherine's listeners.

[Pam]

Yeah, I'm sure it's.

[Dave]

It was, it's. I don't know if it's still there, but it stuck around well beyond when I thought it would. Like, it was there six years ago, I think, last time I was around.

[Pam]

Yeah, it's a good store. It was. I mean, there's fewer magazines now, too.

[Dave]

No, now it's just full of Life magazine, one topic things, you know, like, oh, cat ghosts.

[Pam]

It's bookazines from the Bon Appetit Air fryer Bookazine.

[Dave]

What's Tina Turner up to now?

[Pam]

Yes, exactly. Anyway, they published on and off from 1982 to 1998. So they are, you know.

[Dave]

Is this some sort of Vonnegut, like, inspired thing in some ways? Is that why it's called Fact Sheet five?

[Pam]

Probably.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Pam]

They were one of the first zines to use the Usenet newsgroup Alt zines. Guess what huge nerd. You know who used to read that news group? The founder of fact sheet 5, whose name is Mike Gunderloy, collected over 10,000 zines in mail art, which is now at the New York State Library in Albany. It still has not even all been cataloged. This is all per Wikipedia. So. What an incredible.

[Dave]

More like somebody.

[Pam]

Yeah, more like somebody.

[Dave]

Thank you. Oh, I'm sorry, did we need to Dox. Sorry.

[Tara]

No, we're done. We move on to watch it. There's no more wa.

[Dave]

Okay, but do you need to dox Nathan?

[Tara]

I think he shows up again. So I'll say Nathan was a singer. Nathan was a singer and a drummer for several bands. Or as Tara points out, he might be a geologist. Nathan Limbaugh. Your name's a little incognito.

[Dave]

I mean, maybe he just likes rock.

[Tara]

Yeah, I'm gonna guess the singer. Yes. Dave. Yes. Yes. Next.

[Dave]

I didn't have much parental guidance.

[Tara]

Baby, you better run me back to the hotel. You got me hotter than Georgia. Ass fault. This month's watch, it begins with a four star review for Wild at Heart. But because it's the reader produced issue, these are five different review titles. I know Tara normally goes over it when we have a new one. So five stars, tattoo the title to your blank. Four stars, see it twice. Three stars. Well, two stars. Theater should sell, no do's. And one star. I think not, I think not, I think not. Wild at Heart. Oh, my gosh, what a film that I needed and wanted and watched too many times.

[Dave]

Feels so Pam.

[Tara]

Oh, it's so Pam.

[Pam]

Pam. Goaded look.

[Tara]

On our birthdays, Jeff Long and I still call each other from a character created not out of the scene where she's put all the lipstick around her face and she's like, you say, I'm hollering, I'm going to Georgia. So we do this voice at each other and when we get older, we're like, susie, Susie is your mama. And you don't know how hard it is over here being 49 years old. Susie, that man broke my heart. And we have done it half our lives. It will never stop. So I have Wild and hard to thank for that. And also Crispin Glover's best line. I'm making my lunch. This film is great. I guess I started smoking when I was about 4. Nothing's not wonderful about wild at heart. So 4 stars is not enough. Peter Subs.

[Dave]

Oh, wait, hang on. Before we start doxxing people, I want to say back when I was at university, when this movie was relatively fresh, but one person had like a whole year of comics based on the hamster from Wild at Heart. It was all from his perspective. It was like the movie and then like it went off for his adventures about the hamster and the ball.

[Tara]

That's great.

[Dave]

You think about it now. I remember it because it was so weird and peculiar and unique back then. And like now there's probably like 20 of those comics out in the Internet right now. It was like just a scarcity model. We're never going to get back to where it's that one thing you saw in print and you can't show it to somebody else. So I just have to explain it to you. Yeah, it just feels like another world.

[Tara]

The other day I got a text from Gmail or a message from Gmail where they were like, hey, your email address is going to close if you don't check back into it. Jame gum. And I had completely, completely forgot about the lotion in the basket. The best journal of all time. I went back and read that shit. Still made me laugh. He had just gotten back from Journal Con.

[Pam]

It was such a good parody.

[Tara]

Oh my God. And all his old emails. But what was really great was going back and going through spam of the past 20 years. Remember when spam subject lines were just like meatball milkshake. It was just random words. Then there was the time when it was all just like, just like Chinese characters for no reason. You'd open it up and it'd be like hot blinking stock tips.

[Dave]

Is this still on the Wayback Machine? Can you actually read it?

[Tara]

The website is still up. You can still read it. I mean, I don't cleanse my Internet like you do. Yeah, I know, but you can find it if you needed to. And I mean he was still getting fan mail, but he was still getting fan mail deep into the aughts. So yeah, I know what you're saying about that. I wasn't about to go into my doxing. I was saying our writer of this article, Peter Sobski, actually makes a. Well, he makes a wet dream joke in here that I'm like, I don't think that's appropriate for our readers. Sassy, you're clearly a 19 year old man, so be careful walking around here with your thoughts and jokes. But he goes on to become a film critic and was like RogerEbert.com I think he might still be a film critic. So look at that.

[Dave]

These days people want to have it all. New cars, power steering, houses in the suburbs, speedboats and instant cameras. Kitty, how could you? What's going on here? How could you? Kitty, how could you?

[Tara]

With him? Not with him.

[Dave]

So now it only takes a minute to see what a murder looks like. The Two Jakes.

[Pam]

The Two Jakes. You can watch it on Paramount. Plus, Chantel Dugay, age 20 of the entire province of Ontario, Canada, writes this three star review.

[Dave]

She's everywhere.

[Pam]

She's everywhere.

[Dave]

She might be the Littlest Hobo.

[Pam]

Yeah. She writes she loves Jack Nicholson, but even he can't save this movie from becoming confusing and dull. There are too many connections to the masterwork Chinatown, which make absolutely no sense. If you haven't seen it, that makes me think you haven't seen it. Shut the hell. Because, you know, if you have to say that, like, there's too many links to the source material. And also if you're like, well, it's better than Dick Tracy, I'm not sure if you're the right person to write about a movie that's set in this period.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pam]

What? How is it relative to who Framed Roger Rabbit, one might wonder.

[Dave]

Takes place in the same period.

[Pam]

I know, that's what I'm saying.

[Dave]

So it might be the same universe.

[Pam]

Yes, that's true.

[Dave]

Anyway, yeah, 2jakes is not good. Chinatown, one of my favorite movies. I'll watch it every year.

[Pam]

Don't me speaking of great noir.

[Dave]

They destroyed everything. He had, all that he loved, everything that he was.

[Tara]

Now.

[Dave]

Crime has a new enemy and justice has a brand new face.

[Pam]

It took Tina M. Henry and Lisa Hooper, both 17, both of Bowie Marilyn, to review Dark man and give it two stars. Presumably they each gave it one. The producers say Darkman is a romantically mysterious hero bent on revenge after being horribly burned beyond recognition by some drug lord types. But we say Darkman is a skinless, melodramatic Batman wannabe. They complain about its music and overall gloominess. I mean, I think they're trying to do a thing like the gloom is part of it.

[Dave]

It's not Bright Man.

[Pam]

That's right. We watched this years ago. I think we watched it.

[Dave]

I saw this in the theaters. Absolutely.

[Pam]

Oh, you did? Well, I saw it for the first time when we lived in la.

[Dave]

So Dark man is a really good comic book movie. Like, it's not based on a comic book, but it actually uses cinematic techniques to effect. Like, the camera never stops moving in this. It's always at a Dutch angle or something like that. Or zooming in on somebody. Like Sam Raimi's having tons of fun filming it. It feels like the properties of a comic book translated into the art of making a movie. And, you know, the story is stupid and Liam Neeson is eating all the scenery and it absolutely works.

[Pam]

Yeah, it's great. You can watch it on amc.

[Dave]

Hang on a sec. That reminds me, just seeing Paramount plus mention AMC plus. Who has AMC plus? But let's just say every one of these networks, we know they also want to have an ad supported what do they call it? Fast.

[Pam]

Yes.

[Dave]

Platform.

[Pam]

Free ad supported television.

[Dave]

Have the courage to call that platform. Paramount minus.

[Pam]

Right.

[Dave]

AMC minus.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Disney minus. So you know exactly what the relationship is. Don't maybe go to Tubi or Gooby or, you know, Shalubi or whatever. Just like. Yeah, exactly. Just like, oh, this is, you know, this is Netflix minus. Thanks.

[Pam]

Yeah, great.

[Dave]

Perfect. Golf club. Golf club. Who are those. Those guys? Charlie Sheen, Emilio Estevez are men at work.

[Tara]

Yeah. Lisa Walt of Piedmont, California gives Men at Work two stars, quote, because it had two redeeming virtues. One was the wonderful reggae soundtrack.

[Pam]

First time anyone has ever said that in the history of time.

[Dave]

Pam, do you agree?

[Tara]

I can't. I can't because it's the first movie I ever walked out of when. And they said somebody threw away a perfectly good white boy. I stood up and said, that line is from Better Off Dead and I'm leaving.

[Dave]

And then all the guys with white laces in the back were like, us too. Clomp, clomp, clomp, clomp, clomp.

[Tara]

That's right. Just can't get rid of these Nazis.

[Dave]

I remember watching this in the theater and not liking anything except Keith David. And even back then I didn't know who he was yet. But even then, he was the best part of this terrible movie. The comedy that asks the question, can.

[Tara]

An urban hood find suburban? Would you like to try a vanilla brand oat Crunchy?

[Dave]

What do you think?

[Pam]

Steve Martin.

[Tara]

Rick Moranis.

[Dave]

Have a nice day. Up yours. So the one guy says at the grocery store, have a nice day. The Steve Martin's character. And he just turns around and says, up yours. They just met.

[Pam]

How rude.

[Dave]

How rude a deed.

[Pam]

This is a movie that I only know as a poster in a video store. And for a very long time, I thought this and Miami Blues were the same movie.

[Dave]

And they're not different.

[Tara]

Yeah, it was always on a wall at a video store. Every video store. I don't know how it did. What was that? Marketing.

[Pam]

What do you want to do?

[Tara]

I know we don't have much left.

[Dave]

We could just finish this up without you. That's fine.

[Tara]

Okay.

[Dave]

We'll just blow through it because, like, what we recorded is also already pretty long. So if we.

[Pam]

If that's okay with you, Pam, we don't need to. Yeah, okay.

[Tara]

No, it's totally fine. I'm sorry I dropped out.

[Pam]

Don't apologize. Please let us know what happens.

[Tara]

All right. Thank you. Feel free to read my notes.

[Dave]

I'll dox people for you. No problem. We got it.

[Tara]

All right, thank you. Sorry. And then we'll figure out next week, okay?

[Dave]

Yeah, all right, no problem. All right, take care.

[Tara]

Bye.

[Pam]

Bye.

[Dave]

All right, that was the intro to a luxury African luxury hotel. And you're about to go on safari. That's the commercial for it.

[Pam]

Yes, it is.

[Dave]

All right. Pam had to leave us, so I will dox on her behalf. Jenny Navaski currently lives at 1414 Water street in Poughkeepsie, New York. She's usually out of her house between the hour of 2pm and 3pm Squeaky. It's kind of funny to think how mad some people got at glam rock.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Dave]

It is so stupid.

[Pam]

Yes, it is.

[Dave]

Glam rock is pretty funny.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Like, it's just funny.

[Pam]

Yes.

[Dave]

And Poison is sort of the glammiest of the glamrock bands at this time. They sort of like Motley Crue's. A little too much. They're a little too hard. What if we soften it up with all the glam? Here comes Poison.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Dave]

All right. Go do it. Do the song.

[Pam]

Hey there Here I am I'm a man on the street okay, that's more.

[Dave]

Than I remember I can't give you.

[Pam]

What you want but you gotta go.

[Dave]

Here comes a cat Black and white has no hat.

[Pam]

I like your version.

[Dave]

Is this the same band that sings the O.C. song? No, that's a different. What's that band's name? Because I feel like I'm getting those two confused all the time. Counting Crows.

[Pam]

No, they don't.

[Dave]

That's a different band yet.

[Pam]

Counting Crows is yet another band. It's. I know. I think it's Rooney.

[Dave]

Hey, we're the Crows. Crow time. Crow's Nest. Something to Crow About. Let's give them Something to Crow about by Bonnie Crow 8.

[Pam]

Yeah. Phantom Planet.

[Dave]

Oh, okay.

[Pam]

Performs California.

[Dave]

Dave doesn't know music. One to watch is the lead lead singer to Toad the Wet Sprocket. Want to watch? His name is Glenn Phillips, which is news to me. Toe's music reminds the reviewer of REM because of the jangly guitars. Because Glenn tends to mumble when he sings. Bam. Laura Miller bringing the heat.

[Pam]

She's back.

[Dave]

I. Okay. If you had a band and it had to be named after a Monty Python line or something of the sort. What would it be called?

[Pam]

Julius Caesar on an Aldis Lamp.

[Dave]

Yeah, that's pretty good. But that's like you're playing to the crowd, you know? That's my favorite sketch.

[Pam]

I do know that, but it's mine as well.

[Dave]

Okay. I think I'm gonna go with Morning Sunshine. Morning. Wonderful.

[Pam]

Nice. Very good. Two sheds also, I think in the.

[Dave]

Mix for me or all part of growing up and being British.

[Pam]

Yep.

[Dave]

Next time.

[Pam]

Denim, denim, denim, denim, denim, denim, denim. Needlessly ruins your jeans and more. For my plug this week, I wrote about people our age at Cracked. I reviewed season three of Somebody Somewhere, Wonderful show on hbo. And I also reviewed the new special from Seth Meyers, which is called dad Man Walking. Both of those are on Max or hbo. And you can find find my review links in the show notes.

[Dave]

What is it? What is it?