Listen To Sassy: Life In The 90s

Episode: June 1991 Fashion Etc.: Bikinis, Bandana Prints & The Face Shade 2000
Date: November 25, 2025
Hosts: Tara Ariano, Pamela Ribon, David T. Cole

Episode Overview

In this lively and nostalgic episode, the Sassy crew dives into the June 1991 issue, spotlighting fashion trends, questionable beauty advice, iconic ads, and all the gloriously awkward, earnest, and sometimes cringy details that defined Sassy magazine for Gen-X teens. With characteristic wit and warmth, Tara, Pam, and Dave roast retro styles, discuss inclusivity mishaps, reminisce about beauty routines, and share juicy tidbits from the era that shaped a generation.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. 1991 Fashion: Appropriation, Layers, and Skirt-Over-Pants

• Fiesta Forever Feature
  • Pam notes uncomfortable cover lines: “black kids who are fed up.”
    • “It’s not exactly the article, and I don’t know that it’s making any black kids go, finally, sassy is tending to my needs.” – Pam (03:08)
  • Culturally appropriative “vaguely pan-Latin American styles” sourced from actual Puta Mayo brand garments.
  • Overly layered looks: bustier under overalls, skirt over overalls, aprons over capri pants.
    • “This is what magazines do, though, is, like, they try to convince you that you can look good in a skirt over pants, when, in fact, the number of people that can get away with that look, they're all 5 foot 10 and taller.” – Tara (07:08)
    • “Tall but don't know it.” (07:22)

✦ Memorable Moment

Peplum confusion:

• “Dave, do you know what a peplum is?” – Tara
• “No. Sounds dirty.” – Dave (07:41-07:42)

2. Bikini Trends: Tiny, Frilly, and Unforgiving

• When Wet Feature
  • Bikinis critiqued for being too skimpy and impractical.
    • “Every one of these bikinis is for those kids.” – Pam (09:18)
    • “What’s missing from these photos is popsicle streaks all the way from their chin down. Their whole front.” – Tara (09:45)
  • Poses feel awkward and unflattering, lack of retouching noted.
  • Standout: Crochet bikini
    • “Crochet. Yes, crochet.” – Tara (11:57)
    • “The first time you wear this, you’re like, fuck this shit. You take it home and you take the top and… you just basically make a plant holder.” – Dave (14:06)
  • Poolside practicality and perils debated: lining, coverage, strength.

✦ Notable Quote

• “That's how you capture krill.” – Dave (12:16), mocking the absurdity of a crocheted swimsuit in water.

3. Prints, Patchwork, and Hillbilly Chic

• Bandana & Patchwork “What Next” Fashion
  • “Great hillbilly prints” and country styles, with a nod to Ellie May Clampett cosplay.
    • “All of these look like she’s at camp. She didn't know she was going to have a date. She looks around her cabin. She's just got two sheets and a quilt and a sewing machine. And she's like, I can make this work.” – Pam (17:29)
  • Commentary on the impracticality and literal DIY vibes of the looks.

4. Beauty Features: Folkloric Braids, Embryonic Dreads, and Face Shields

• Legend: Braids and Hair Trends

  • Attempts at “folkloric” braids and Rick Rack discussed.
    • “The braids we're big on are decidedly folkloric, Folkloric. Decidedly Folkloric is the name of my extremely boring history podcast.” – Dave (19:41)
  • Messy hair tips result in near-dreadlock looks.
    • “It’s so close to dreadlocks. Dangerously close, you might say.” – Tara (19:59)
  • Side joke about peplum, and Victorian-sounding “gusset” explained (13:34).

• Face Shade 2000

  • Futuristic facial sun shield examined and origins unearthed (Pam finds inventor’s info!).
    • “His name is Alabaster. Damn, son.” – Dave (28:16)
  • Pam shares research tracing the Sun Gear International patent and its mysterious disappearance.

✦ Memorable Discovery

Pam’s successful hunt for the device’s inventor, confirming it (and him) were real, not family folklore (27:18–28:25).

5. Reader Letters & Magazine Oddities

• Questionable Beauty Advice & Scammy Hotlines

  • Skepticism about the legitimacy of the “Cosmetic Plus” advice hotline.
    • “Doesn't this just seem like a giant scam waiting to happen?” – Dave (22:05)

• Inclusivity Misfires

  • Noted irony in choosing the lightest-skinned model to illustrate a new “dark skin” cosmetics line.
    • “This is not how you illustrate your dark skinned cosmetic line.” – Tara (23:57)

• Exercise Dangers & Scalp Oil

  • Pam calls out the contradictory advice on exercise dangers for girls.
    • “You should run around a lot. But also you'll ruin yourself. You'll break a bunch of blood vessels.” – Pam (30:09)
  • Dave mocks the letter about how to tell if one’s scalp is oily:
    • “If your scalp is itchy and your fingers smell and look greasy after massaging it, or if your hair gets that dirty smell, then you've got an oily scalp. Parentheses tasty.” (31:24)

6. Ads: Nostalgia, Ridiculousness, and Iconic Marketing

• CoverGirl Nail Care

  • Pam lampoons the overwhelming number of product options:
    • “Finally, nail care. That's a snap. No, it's an overwhelming amount of shit.” – Pam (32:45)

• Sea Breeze

  • Affectionate ribbing over its over-cleansing properties and cooling tingle.
    • “God, I loved Sea Breeze. It really made your face feel clean. I'm sure it stripped out way more oil than it was supposed to.” – Tara (37:35)

• Caboodles

  • The impossible promise that everything fits in a Caboodle is debunked with forensic precision.

• Advil

  • Voices in ads sound too grown-up, prompting Pam to joke about “the first AI ad ever.” (41:51)
  • Stats on pain relief read as unlikely and surreal.

• Sassiest Boy In America

  • Tara hates to see previous winners; now, they’re looking for a new (hopefully younger) winner:
    • “They can't advertise for the new sassiest boy in America without reminding us of the old sassiest boy in America. And I do mean old.” – Tara (43:52)
  • Misunderstanding over the word “but hain” (44:48).

7. The Diary: Meet-Cutes and Celebrity Letdowns

• Jane’s Celebrity Crush

  • Jane recounts meeting Mike Edwards from Jesus Jones—anticlimactic, but fun.

• Nicole’s Backstage Letdown

  • Listener letter: Disappointed after meeting New Kids on the Block.
    • Pam: “Nicole, get the fuck over yourself. Do you understand? You got hugged by a new kid and he signed your jeans.” (53:21)
    • Tara speculates on the (now known) sexuality of Jonathan Knight and fan expectations:
      • “Maybe she sent something because we now know Jonathan is the New Kid on the Block who is gay. Possibly.” (53:26)

Notable Quotes & Time Stamps

• “It’s not exactly the article, and I don’t know that it’s making any black kids go, finally, sassy is tending to my needs.” – Pam (03:08)
• “Tall but don't know it.” – Tara (07:22)
• “What’s missing from these photos is popsicle streaks all the way from their chin down. Their whole front.” – Tara (09:45)
• “That's how you capture krill.” – Dave (12:16)
• “The braids we're big on are decidedly folkloric, Folkloric. Decidedly Folkloric is the name of my extremely boring history podcast.” – Dave (19:41)
• “This is not how you illustrate your dark skinned cosmetic line.” – Tara (23:57)
• “His name is Alabaster. Damn, son.” – Dave (28:16)
• “Finally, nail care. That's a snap. No, it's an overwhelming amount of shit.” – Pam (32:45)
• “Nicole, get the fuck over yourself. Do you understand? You got hugged by a new kid and he signed your jeans.” – Pam (53:21)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|----------------------------------------------| | 03:03 | Sassy’s diversity attempts & coverage | | 05:05 | Fiesta Forever: cultural fashion trends | | 08:57 | Bikini fashion feature roasting | | 16:45 | Bandana patchwork & country looks | | 19:05 | Braids, Rick Racks & hair feature | | 26:07 | Sun protection: Face Shade 2000 saga | | 31:00 | Beauty Q&A: aerobics & scalp oil | | 31:55 | Ad breakdowns: CoverGirl, Sea Breeze, etc. | | 43:48 | Sassiest Boy in America contest | | 52:00 | Diary: Jane, Jesus Jones, and meet-cutes | | 53:48 | Listener letter: Backstage with NKOTB |

Tone & Language

The hosts maintain their signature sarcastic, affectionate, and conspiratorially funny dynamic, reminiscent of a hangout with your sharpest, pop culture-obsessed friends. They balance nostalgia with critical commentary, especially on the topic of inclusivity, body image, and fashion missteps.

Conclusion

This episode is a rollicking ride through early ‘90s teen culture, filtered through the irreverent, wise, and very funny lens of Tara, Pam, and Dave. Plenty for listeners to laugh with, wince at, and remember—whether they read Sassy cover to cover or only know it by reputation.

For future episodes or for a deeper nostalgia trip, join the hosts at their site or on their Discord, and don’t forget to call in with your own Sassy-era stories!