October 1990 Slumber Party: Sisters, Paint & Driver's Ed

Summary

Listen To Sassy: Life In The 90s
Episode: October 1990 Slumber Party: Sisters, Paint & Driver's Ed
Release Date: August 20, 2024

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Introduction

In this nostalgic episode of Listen To Sassy: Life In The 90s, hosts Tara Ariano, Pamela Ribon, and David T. Cole take listeners back to October 1990, exploring the vibrant culture of slumber parties, sibling dynamics, and the quirky experiences surrounding Driver's Ed as featured in the iconic Gen-X teen magazine, Sassy. Celebrating Sassy's golden era (1988-1994), the trio delves into the magazine's 80 issues, reminiscing about the characters and stories that shaped a generation.

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Slumber Party Shenanigans

Bracelet Making and Fun Activities (00:11 - 02:10)

The episode begins with the hosts recreating the excitement of a 1990 slumber party. Megan kicks off by announcing snack preparations and plans for bracelet making, setting a lively tone. Pam humorously recounts a school incident where calling a classmate a derogatory term led to unexpected widespread use of the slang among peers ([00:26] Pam).

Typical Slumber Party Activities (01:09 - 02:44)

As the conversation flows, the hosts discuss quintessential slumber party activities inspired by Sassy:

• Quizzes: A staple activity where teens could determine various aspects of their personalities.
• Movie Rentals: Often a mix of scary or romantic films, chosen due to parental restrictions ([02:10] Pam).
• Pillow Fights and Dance-offs: The hosts debate the safety and fun of pillow fights, contrasting typical slumber parties with more intense boy slumber parties that involve Nerf gun battles and mock mayhem ([03:35] Pam).

Notable Quote:

"It is October 1990. Well, you didn't get called to the principal's office for calling Sharon Mazerski a cunt. In fact, it kind of worked out great."
— Pam ([00:26])

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Sibling Relationships and Quizzes

Understanding Sibling Dynamics (05:10 - 09:00)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to exploring sibling relationships through a Sassy quiz titled “What Kind of Sister Are You?”. Dave shares his experiences with his sister, highlighting the challenges of an age gap and differing personalities.

• Conflict Resolution: Questions focus on how siblings handle conflicts, showcasing varied approaches like asking for problem-solving versus dismissing emotions ([07:05] Pam).
• Personal Stories: Pam and Dave share anecdotes about childhood fights, including sock wars and belt-hitting incidents, revealing the imperfect but enduring bonds between siblings ([08:05] Pam, [09:00] Dave).

Notable Quote:

"I got nine, and I'm definitely not [a good sibling]."
— Dave ([08:56])

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Listener Calls and Shared Experiences

Listener Clip 1: Sarah’s Quiz Results (14:17 - 15:05)

Sarah from Indianapolis shares her amusing experience of scoring nine points on the sibling quiz, leading to a humorous conclusion that the "ideal sibling does not exist" ([14:17] Tara).

Notable Quote:

"I scored nine points and was informed that while being the ideal sibling, I do not exist. So poof."
— Sarah ([14:17])

Megan’s Reflections on Sibling Rivalry (15:05 - 19:13)

Megan delves deeper into her tumultuous relationship with her sister, recounting vivid memories of childhood fights and the tough love instilled by their parents. These stories illustrate the complexity of sibling bonds and the blend of love and rivalry ([15:05] Megan).

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Pop Culture and Driver's Ed

Mad Magazine and Australian Music Shows (26:00 - 26:45)

Pam discusses the ongoing legacy of Mad Magazine, alongside memories of watching Australia's music video show Rage. They highlight the show's impact, particularly its unfiltered content that resonated with teenagers ([26:28] Megan).

Notable Quote:

"It was the most boring and useless quarter of my life. But at least I got to watch some videos with some really gory stories from former cops."
— Courtney ([26:45] Pam)

Driver's Ed Traumas (26:59 - 31:06)

Listener calls reveal Driver's Ed experiences fraught with outdated teaching methods and exaggerated safety warnings. Kelly from Rhode Island shares her mundane and overly cautious Driver's Ed class, emphasizing the disconnect between the program and actual driving ([26:59] Dave, [31:06] Tara).

Notable Quote:

"I came to appreciate it. And every car up until my car right now in 2016 was a big shift because it's fun to drive."
— Kelly ([26:59] Tara)

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Fashion and Perfume Nostalgia

Benetton Colors Perfume Discussion (49:07 - 50:43)

The hosts reminisce about Benetton’s Colors perfume, sharing personal anecdotes about trying to locate vintage scents versus modern versions. Megan expresses frustration over finding authentic fragrances, while Pam and Dave discuss the challenges of maintaining nostalgic perfumes in today's market ([49:07] Tara).

Notable Quote:

"It smells so good, but it just doesn't last very long. Because it's ancient."
— Megan ([50:26] Megan)

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Emotional Stories and Nostalgia

Erica’s Hawaii Memories (55:52 - 58:48)

Erica shares a heartfelt story about a past trip to Hawaii with the hosts, highlighting emotional connections and personal growth stemming from those shared experiences. This tale underscores the enduring impact of meaningful friendships and memorable events ([55:52] Tara).

Notable Quote:

"My friend being like, between the Olympics and this guy you're dating, you've never been so American."
— Megan ([60:09] Megan)

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Conclusion and Future Episodes

Closing Remarks and Plugs (59:48 - 65:07)

As the episode winds down, the hosts encourage listeners to join their Patreon for exclusive content, including full issue scans and ad-free episodes. They tease upcoming topics from the November 1990 issue, such as becoming vegetarian and meeting foster kids. Pam also shares a personal PSA about dealing with sleep apnea, blending humor with genuine advice ([61:46] Dave, [63:28] Megan).

Notable Quote:

"If the doctor comes to you and says you have sleep apnea, are you willing to wear a CPAP mask before you make that commitment? Because it's kind of expensive. You think to yourself, I would rather die a few months earlier than use that mask. That is the correct answer."
— Pam ([61:46] Pam)

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. Pam on Scoring the Sibling Quiz:

   "You are the ideal sibling. You do not exist."
   — Pam ([08:56])

2. Dave on Sibling Dynamics:

   "I got nine, and I'm definitely not."
   — Dave ([08:56])

3. Sarah on Quiz Results:

   "I scored nine points and was informed that while being the ideal sibling, I do not exist. So poof."
   — Sarah ([14:17])

4. Megan on Childhood Fights:

   "She's just a sprinkler."
   — Megan ([40:50])

5. Pam on Sleep Apnea PSA:

   "That is the correct answer."
   — Pam ([61:46])

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Insights and Themes

• Nostalgia and Cultural Reflection: The episode effectively captures the essence of early '90s teen life, highlighting how slumber parties, sibling relationships, and annual Driver's Ed classes played pivotal roles in shaping teenage experiences.

• Humor and Relatability: Through candid storytelling and humorous exchanges, the hosts create a relatable atmosphere, allowing listeners to reminisce about their own past while engaging with the rich nostalgia of the era.

• Interpersonal Dynamics: The exploration of sibling relationships through quizzes and personal anecdotes emphasizes the universal challenges and bonds shared among siblings, making the content deeply resonant.

• Pop Culture Integration: References to music shows, films, and fashion trends anchor the discussions in the broader cultural landscape of the time, enriching the narrative with contextual relevance.

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Conclusion

This episode of Listen To Sassy: Life In The 90s offers a comprehensive and engaging journey through the vibrant culture of October 1990's slumber parties, sibling dynamics, and Driver's Ed experiences. With a perfect blend of humor, heartwarming stories, and nostalgic reflections, Tara, Pam, and Dave provide listeners—both new and longtime—with a vivid snapshot of what it was like to be a Gen-X teen during this iconic period. The inclusion of listener calls and personal anecdotes deepens the connection, making the episode a must-listen for anyone yearning to relive or understand the spirited essence of the '90s.

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Join the Conversation:
To dive deeper into each issue of Sassy or to access exclusive content, consider joining the Listen To Sassy Club at listenToSassy.com/club. Engage with the community, participate in virtual slumber parties, and relive every nostalgic moment with full issue scans and behind-the-scenes stories.

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Thank you for tuning into this detailed summary of Listen To Sassy: Life In The 90s. Stay tuned for more episodes celebrating the cherished moments of the past!

Transcript

[Tara]

Kid sister, kid sister.

[Dave]

Wherever I go, you're gonna go kid.

[Pam]

Sister, kid sister, kid sister, kid sister.

[Dave]

Kid sister and me.

[Pam]

My buddy and kid sister each sold.

[Dave]

Separately from play school.

[Pam]

It is October 1990. Well, you didn't get called to the principal's office for calling Sharon Mazerski a cunt. In fact, it kind of worked out great. Turns out everyone thought Sharon Misurki was a cunt, and you just opened the floodgates. Now everyone in school calls her a cunt.

[Dave]

Oh, no.

[Pam]

Cunt in the hallways, cunt in the bathroom. You think maybe Mr. West whispered cunt says what? Under his breath while asking the questions in math class. Yep, no blowback whatsoever. This is gonna be fine. Everything's fine. Yes. It's time to listen.

[Dave]

Listen to Sassy.

[Pam]

That was unexpected.

[Dave]

Hello? It's finally time again for the slumber party. We didn't have one for the September issue, but we're gonna have a mega slumber party today. So many calls. You guys really outdid yourselves again.

[Megan]

I made snacks. I made snacks. And first, if everybody could sit down, we're gonna make bracelets. And then who do you like?

[Pam]

What are the typical teen slumber party activities?

[Dave]

Oh, great question.

[Megan]

These. I mean, quizzes.

[Pam]

Okay.

[Megan]

That was a staple.

[Dave]

You usually rent a movie that is probably a scary movie or a very romantic movie or a movie you're.

[Megan]

Yeah, a movie your parents won't let you watch.

[Dave]

Right?

[Pam]

How come there's no romantic horror movies, Pam? Get on that slasher film. But also a lot of, like, tongue wrestling.

[Dave]

Well, there's usually sex in horror movies especially.

[Pam]

Yeah, it's not romantic. Well, that's how you know who's going to die first. Right? The naughty ones.

[Dave]

We learned that from Scream.

[Pam]

The naughty ones get the knife.

[Dave]

True.

[Megan]

Nicolas Cage's Vampire's Kiss is maybe a romantic comedy horror movie.

[Dave]

Maybe.

[Pam]

I'm just saying it's a white space in the Hollywood market that you should exploit, Pam. And if you don't, I will.

[Megan]

Tired of white spaces?

[Tara]

Quite honestly.

[Pam]

All right. Slumber party activities.

[Dave]

Yeah. You eat snacks?

[Megan]

Yeah, lots of snacks.

[Dave]

Might do makeovers, Pillow fights, Dance.

[Pam]

Choreographing underwear comparisons.

[Dave]

Oh, yes, yes.

[Megan]

Choreographing dances. No, not underwear comparisons.

[Dave]

Yeah. Watching videos.

[Pam]

Right.

[Dave]

In our day.

[Megan]

Kicking siblings out of the room.

[Pam]

Right.

[Dave]

Truth or dare.

[Megan]

Yeah. Prank calling. Boys.

[Dave]

Prank calls.

[Pam]

Pre college experimentation.

[Dave]

Oh, gosh. That never happened at any of the ones I was at.

[Tara]

All right.

[Pam]

I've been missing.

[Dave]

I'm sure it does, but I don't.

[Tara]

I just love.

[Megan]

Hey, ladies. Should we engage in some pre college experimentation? 100%. Someone's slumber party had these vibes. Yeah, but not. Not. No, not the ones I had.

[Pam]

Oh, it's your fault. Chemistry is great career path.

[Dave]

I don't think I ever did a pillow fight either. They're not fun.

[Pam]

No. Pillow fights can really hurt. If you get smacked in the right way with a pillow, it can really mess up your eyeball.

[Dave]

They got zippers, they got buttons. You could get hurt. You're right.

[Pam]

Do you want to hear boy slumber party version of the pillow fight?

[Dave]

Sure.

[Megan]

Yes.

[Pam]

You turn off all the lights in the house. You wait till it's dark so that you can have total darkness.

[Dave]

Yep.

[Pam]

Without having to like deal with window dressings and stuff.

[Dave]

Or just go to the basement. Which everyone had.

[Pam]

True. But if you want a full house experience, you gotta wait till night. Then you. Then you were working on the Z axis as well. Which is important. We learned that from Wrath of Khan. All the lights are off. You all have your Nerf guns. But instead of you. But you got like the suction cup one. So there's a little bit of pain involved. If you get hit with the plastic of it. Or what we did is you trade in your Nerf guns for the crazy. Made by an 80 year old paramilitary nut. 25,000 elastic band Gatling gun that you get those hurt.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pam]

And then you would have three people just sort of like sulking around creeping. And then you hear something and you actually genuinely try to hurt them.

[Megan]

I.

[Pam]

That's boy slumber party.

[Dave]

I remember a time when we were dating. So in our 20s.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Dave]

And we did a version of this at my parents in my parents basement. But it was sock war.

[Pam]

Yeah, sock war.

[Dave]

We just gathered all the socks in the house and threw socks.

[Pam]

That's because I didn't know if you were ready for the hard stuff.

[Dave]

I triumphed in sock war. And then he knew, I'm gonna marry that girl. And he did.

[Megan]

I mean that's. That's the prepper tests. Some of us go.

[Pam]

All right, quiz time.

[Dave]

Quiz time. The quiz this month is what kind of sister are you? Which is a very aggressive way to phrase it. Sort of seems like it's like, what now? Like what kind of sister are you? But it's actually trying to determine that. And so my highlight question, a lot of these, I would say were like not super relevant for me because my sister and I are seven and a half years apart. So stuff about like sharing clothes, like it was never. That was never something that we did, but some of them are relevant, such as, if you can tell your sibling is bummed out about something, you A, ask him her what the problem is and if there's anything you can do to help. B, tell him her to just stop whining. C, ignore him her altogether. Clearly, the answer you're supposed to say is, A, in my case, it's B, tell him her to just stop whining. Because my sister get along very well now, and I love her very much, but she is so. She's the kind of person who's just. Is like, I'm emotional and that's my personality, and everyone else just has to deal with it. And she's been like that since she was a tiny child. And she gets it from my dad. I'm going to say that because people never heard any sassy go, let us know. No one tell my dad. He is on Instagram and he follows me, but don't tell him about this episode. So, yeah, there was a lot of times when she would be, like, very. Just theatrically sad about something, and I would be like, fucking.

[Pam]

How's that resolve itself?

[Dave]

Well, I mean, there was one incident where I was, according to her, insufficiently sad about her hamster dying that she had had for three days. And she went tattled on me, and I got in trouble.

[Pam]

Oh, what was the hamster's name?

[Dave]

Hugo.

[Pam]

Oh, you see? You remember that much.

[Dave]

Mm. Actually, Hugo might have been the one that lived. I think this one died after, like, three days. It was.

[Pam]

Should have been called hamster Let. It's a good name for a hamster.

[Megan]

Well, I also put B, Tara. So don't have a lot of guilt because we, my sister and I, are three and a half years apart. So most conversations are like, oh, my God, shut up. Right. So she could have been whining about, I can't find any food for dinner. And I'm like, ugh, cut it out. I know. I'm hungry too. Quit whining.

[Pam]

Eat tomorrow.

[Megan]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. So I think that's just sibling behavior. I also. This. This whole list was like, well, first of all, I tried to take it like, I was a person of this age and I had a younger sister who was close in age instead of, like, now. Cause, you know, we've grown. But it doesn't. It should start at the beginning of like, are you an older, a younger or a middle sibling? And then the quiz goes accordingly. Cause some of this stuff is a real whiplash where it's like, are you. Are you in charge of too many things and do they call you bossy? And I'm like, come on, man.

[Pam]

Well, this. This quiz could have been what is your conflict iq?

[Dave]

Yes.

[Pam]

Because that's what all of these questions are, is how do you deal with conflict in a sister, in a sibling relationship? And that changes dramatically whether you're older or younger than the other sibling in question.

[Dave]

That's true because Pam and I are both olders. Dan. Younger.

[Pam]

My sister is 10 years older than I am. So I don't have a lot of memories of my sister when I was a kid because she moved out when she was like 17 or 18. But for me, I scored, I guess, super great because all this is like, how do I avoid arguments? How do I avoid yelling? So I had so many answers where I got zero points. The less points, the better. Like, I got eight out of this whole thing. Wow. You are the ideal sibling. You do not exist.

[Dave]

I got nine, and I'm definitely not.

[Pam]

You are definitely not a good sibling.

[Dave]

Hey, just because I was talking about her on a podcast, you'll never hear it doesn't mean I'm.

[Pam]

I'll forward. I can forward in this whole family.

[Dave]

Put it in the text chain. We talk about my bad driving.

[Pam]

That's right.

[Dave]

I also, before we went.

[Pam]

Bad driving, bad daughter, bad sister.

[Dave]

Before we go on.

[Pam]

Car crashing all around.

[Dave]

Before we go on to Pam's question, I also want to note, I think there's a misprint for the scoring on question nine, because you can get question nine is your sister. Brother is wildly popular and always has guys slash girls chasing her. Him and a ton of parties to choose from every weekend. Do you hate them? A, no, but I do get a little envious sometimes. B, well, yes, I do, because all the attention they get. C. No, I'm happy for her. Him. And you get zero points for A or C. Yeah. Seems like A should be the number one. Should be a one point answer.

[Pam]

I agree.

[Dave]

But it's not.

[Pam]

I agree.

[Megan]

It's also reasonable. It's reasonable to get a little envious sometimes. Maybe they're like, don't. That's okay. Yeah, but you're right. The scoring's all jacked on that. I picked out number 11. Are you continually asking siblings if you can join them when they go out with their friends? And I just. Distance is interesting because I both, first of all, can't imagine me asking my younger sister if I could go with her to something at any point. And then I don't really remember her wanting to come with me. Even though she came to some things, she was friends with my friends. But I had forgotten the word tag along, which is never. Never. That would make me a tag along. I'm like, oh, why are you such a tagalog? It still hurts when you read it.

[Dave]

That's definitely a question for a younger sibling. And so I was tried to mentally project because I have an aunt. My mother's youngest sister is the same age difference older than me that my sister is younger than me. So I definitely idolized her. And I would always be at every family gathering, mooching around her and whatever boyfriend she was dating at the time and being extremely annoying, I'm sure.

[Megan]

What'd you put for number two? Have you ever hit, shot a BB gun at, thrown a blunt object at, or in any other way physically maimed a sibling?

[Dave]

I said yes. Haven't I told that story on this podcast?

[Pam]

Yeah, Tara bites people.

[Dave]

I bit her when she was like, newborn.

[Megan]

Yeah, I guess I forgot. Yes.

[Pam]

I mean, at least she did pull out a gun.

[Dave]

No.

[Pam]

Who on the sassy staff did that? That. That's in the question.

[Dave]

I think whichever one probably told the story of, like, physically threatening their mother in the past.

[Pam]

Have you ever shot, bit, or thrown a blunt object or carved your name in your sister's forehead with a sharp knife?

[Megan]

You just started with Nerf Gun wars. You did shoot at people in your own home.

[Dave]

Not a BB gun for parties.

[Pam]

Well, not a BB gun. And it was planned mayhem. It wasn't full of malice.

[Megan]

Oh, I saw them open for Jane's Addiction Plan mayhem. Now let's take a nap. And a.

[Dave]

I'll see you at 4:37.

[Pam]

All right, so shut up. Mine is question 13. How are you on siblings birthdays? A, they always get a present, even if I have to make it. B, siblings don't deserve birthday.

[Dave]

Wow.

[Pam]

Not birthday presents. They don't deserve birthdays. See, they get a gift if they've remembered mine. So a reciprocal gifting relationship.

[Dave]

Right.

[Pam]

This doesn't have my answer, which is D is oh, can we please stop giving each other presents? I'd rather your present to me should be a guilt free not giving you a present every year. So stop sending me stuff, because then I feel obligated to send you stuff, but that I never do because we don't really know each other super well, and we just. You just send me coffee crisp every year, and I would just send you something from Texas, like, here's some Texas hot sauce. And like, yeah, I'm sure you just throw it away. So let's just, you know, let's just throw out this whole thing and just text each other happy birthday. That's. That's fine.

[Dave]

I mean, you use those Tim Horton mugs she got you all the time. Those are your favorite copy.

[Megan]

Please put that on the soundboard. I mean, you use those Tim Horton books all the time.

[Dave]

He does. It's still. It was so good.

[Pam]

We've already gone through the. You know, Dave's bad at giving gifts. And by the way, Pam, speaking of which, I was going to wear it as the thing and I forgot. Thank you so much for the shirt that you sent.

[Dave]

It's in the dryer.

[Pam]

It's in the dryer. It's fantastic. Yes.

[Megan]

It made me think of you.

[Pam]

What does it say on it again?

[Dave]

The bridges I burn light the way.

[Pam]

Yes.

[Dave]

Or something like that.

[Megan]

Yeah, something like that.

[Pam]

Sounds like me.

[Megan]

It does.

[Pam]

You jerks.

[Dave]

As you burn a bridge with your sister. This jerk sending me gifts she thoughtfully picked out.

[Pam]

Well, look, can't pick yourself up.

[Megan]

Yeah, it was just. It's for your pile of. I don't send you gifts. I send you things for the pile that you will carry to another room later. That's just composting Christmas piles.

[Pam]

All right, that was the quiz. Shall we move on?

[Megan]

Sure.

[Dave]

We got a call about the quiz. Clip 1.

[Tara]

Hi, this is formerly Sarah from Indianapolis. I took the what Kind of Sister Are you? Quiz. I scored nine points and was informed that while being the ideal sibling, I do not exist. So poof.

[Pam]

All right, good.

[Dave]

Pam, we forgot to ask you, what did you get on this quiz?

[Megan]

I got right in the middle and I scored low. I scored like 13. Not as low as you do who don't exist. But it says you pretty much fall under the standard sibling category. You can be a pain in the butt and you're occasionally prone to fits of pettiness, but you're by no means obsessed with making a career of sibling bashing. It wouldn't kill you to try being a little more sensitive. Then again, they are siblings and you are human. Yeah, I mean, I'm a pretty good sister.

[Dave]

Yeah. But you also, like I said, you have more opportunity to engage with this quiz because you and your sister are very close in age.

[Megan]

Yeah, we follow.

[Pam]

Have you ever bit your sister? Yeah.

[Dave]

Have you?

[Pam]

Hard.

[Megan]

I gonna guess that. She definitely bit me hard, right? Definitely. Definitely.

[Pam]

Did you pull a gun on her?

[Megan]

No.

[Pam]

Okay.

[Megan]

Have the hardest. She would tell you so I'm not talking out of turn. She would tell you she hit me Very hard with a phone. And once almost choked me all the way out with a wire hanger around my neck.

[Tara]

Wow.

[Megan]

And what she thinks is funny about that one is she just got grounded for a day and she was like, I almost killed you.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Megan]

She was young when that happened.

[Pam]

She's always been pretty tough. When you're in prison, the first day, you either have to become somebody's bitch or choke them out.

[Megan]

That is how she operated from the time she was three years old. There was also a story my parents would tell me about when she was tiny. Tiny. And, you know, and I was really like, I love my sister. And then she picked up this little toy hammer and hit me over the head with it really hard. Really hard. And I looked at them shocked, like, how. How can this happen? How is this even a thing? And I think that set the tone.

[Pam]

They're like, well, you gotta stand up for yourself, you know, Like, I'm not old enough to do that. They're like, we'll figure it out. We got cigarettes to smoke.

[Megan]

If she hits you, hit her back was the family motto. Yeah, you can do it as hard as she does it to you. That's awful. That's awful. But that's how we were raised.

[Dave]

I hit Leah with a belt one time was more. And just out of curiosity, like, I wasn't. We weren't even fighting. I was just like, I wonder what would happen. She also. She didn't ever shoot me with a gun, but she threatened me with knives before.

[Pam]

Oh, no, that's first.

[Dave]

And not only that, when she was quite young, like probably 10 or 11, she would just be. I was trying to boss her around. She was probably calling me bossy, like, in question five. And then she was like, I know where the knives are. And I was like, what?

[Megan]

Jesus. My sister got me into a fight once. She came inside the house and said, you have to come outside. You have to fight these people.

[Dave]

Oh, my God.

[Pam]

Wait. She was setting up her own, like, bum fights in the backyard with sleep.

[Megan]

I had to fight our neighbors. You did karate style. You did it. I mean, I did. I mean, I tried. You know what I mean? There was a lot of kicking, like cat paws with her behind me.

[Pam]

Why wasn't no an option?

[Megan]

These siblings who live next door, soon sun and Heo. Why do I remember these things? But they loved the end up being.

[Pam]

The Hart brothers from the wwe.

[Megan]

Jonas Brothers. They. Yeah, they really enjoyed, like, kicking at us. And I think they kicked her too much. And then. But then I feel like she also the neighbors across this was when I lived in. Am I remembering the right so hard.

[Dave]

Now we remember where I live.

[Megan]

I'm pretty sure it was Mississippi, but I don't want to say it, but I'm pretty sure.

[Dave]

Dave, that could happen. Texas, too. No, we were younger, okay?

[Megan]

We aged out of fights by the time we were in Texas. So I can't remember if this was.

[Pam]

Like, they needed a fight after a big meal of eaten mud.

[Dave]

Jesus.

[Megan]

I think. I think the fight was with the girl across the street whose dad was building a Batmobile. Pretty sure that makes it Mississippi.

[Pam]

Okay, wait.

[Megan]

I know people are always like, when are you going to write about all this? I don't think I can.

[Pam]

Some questions, all right? Is he building a Batmobile from a kit, or is he trying to change an existing car into the best Batmobile that he can make from it?

[Megan]

He was transforming a Trans Am. That's what I thought the Trans was in Trans Am. And, yeah, he was putting all the things on it. And he had the license plate to begin with.

[Dave]

Right?

[Pam]

That's where you start that, man.

[Megan]

Yeah, that's where you start.

[Pam]

How did this guy afford a personalized license plate if his kids are eating mud for dinner?

[Dave]

That was not established.

[Megan]

That was not established.

[Pam]

Did he finish it also?

[Megan]

Probably.

[Pam]

And was it good?

[Dave]

Great question.

[Megan]

Well, I don't know. We moved, man. Like, probably. It was loud. I remember it being loud. He worked on it a lot.

[Pam]

And was he Batman?

[Megan]

Yeah, that's what happens. We were cul de sac kids. Like, one of my parents always tried to find a house at the end of a block. So then you became those. All those kids were forced to play with each other because three houses over was always like a major road. You couldn't go to the end of the sidewalk.

[Pam]

Fascinating.

[Megan]

Yeah. Anyway, that's what kind of sister I am. The kind who gets into street fights with Batman's kid. She. Well, what I remember is she did, like, bat at me and she ripped a button off my favorite shirt.

[Dave]

Can't wear your favorite shirt to a fight camp.

[Pam]

No, that's on you.

[Megan]

Well, I didn't know I was gonna fight you.

[Pam]

Did your sister said to you, time to go fight the mud eating neighbors, man?

[Megan]

I got it at the mall, you know, like, I.

[Dave]

Not a mall shirt.

[Pam]

See, when I get into fights, I take off all my clothes and I grease my body up.

[Dave]

I know.

[Megan]

We've all seen it, Dave.

[Pam]

Okay, that's true.

[Megan]

And then stopped gathering for twap conventions.

[Dave]

Take the lights off, he throws socks at You.

[Pam]

His sock is oily.

[Dave]

Well, all these socks are ruined now. Yeah, let's play some arm.

[Megan]

We don't meet in Vegas anymore.

[Pam]

Yeah, okay, fair enough.

[Dave]

We got a few Teen Life calls, including a whole subsection of Teen Life calls that we will get to shortly. But first, let us hear clip two from Megan.

[Tara]

Dave, Tara, Pam, this is Megan. I just want to concur with you, Pam. The September 1990 fiction story Love Amid the Rubble is a perfect a plus horny teenager short story the likes of which 17 year old Megan attempted to write and wrote variations of, but were not nearly as good as this one. So I've been dragging a lot of the fiction and I've expressed jealousy and been like, oh, mine's better. But no, no, this, in this case, this is. This is better. This is definitely better than anything I would have written back then. Even though writing horny teenage stories about, you know, bad boys was like a jam back then for most of my career, actually. So well done, well done, Enid Harlow. I'm now going to look into anything else that she's written.

[Dave]

Can I move in forever?

[Tara]

Bye.

[Pam]

Okay, I'm just going to make a note that my jam is going to be on the sideboard.

[Dave]

We're gonna hear a lot from Megan this episode because as we said, we took a month off from the slumber party. So we got a few calls from Megan. She's had a lot of thoughts about our episodes and God bless her, we love to hear them. Let's hear from Courtney.

[Tara]

Hey there, Dave, Pam and Tara. It's Courtney from Michigan.

[Dave]

I have two stories from the September Teen Life 1990 recording. The first one is that my high.

[Megan]

School best friend was allowed to repaint.

[Tara]

Her room inspired by the Dutch Boy painting project article. And for the time, she had the coolest room of our whole friend group. The colors she chose were purple with.

[Dave]

A teal border and sponge painted silver stars.

[Megan]

And she did the whole thing herself.

[Tara]

And it looked fantastic for its time. My second story is one that didn't.

[Dave]

Happen to me and it contains spoilers.

[Tara]

For a movie that came out in 1998. So, spoiler alert.

[Dave]

Group of my friends were in a.

[Megan]

Coffee house hanging out and a man.

[Dave]

Drew one of my friends and then came over and either tried to give it to her in exchange for money.

[Megan]

Or give it to her in exchange.

[Dave]

For flirting and a phone number. But either way, he didn't get what.

[Megan]

He was looking for and he was.

[Tara]

Not happy about it.

[Megan]

He turned to go and then turned back.

[Tara]

Here comes the spoiler and said, hey.

[Megan]

Have you guys seen the Sixth Sense?

[Dave]

And they all said, no.

[Tara]

And he said, oh, yeah? Well, Bruce Willis is dead the whole fucking time.

[Dave]

Fuck you. And walked away.

[Megan]

All right, guys, I'll probably call again.

[Tara]

Because I just can't quit you.

[Dave]

And until then, take care and keep.

[Tara]

Up the good work.

[Dave]

Hell yeah.

[Megan]

Ah, that room does sound cool.

[Pam]

Wait, what was it? Purple walls with teal and then the silver teal border. Sponge. Stars.

[Megan]

Yeah, yeah, little stars. No, no, no. Like you took a sponge and you put it in the silver paint.

[Pam]

Got it. Yep. So it sounds like an enchanted night under the sea every night.

[Dave]

Yeah, sure.

[Pam]

Okay.

[Megan]

The purple. Yes.

[Dave]

That's such a 90s color scheme, though.

[Pam]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Dave]

Like, I think we all can see it.

[Megan]

Amazing. My friend Karina got to paint her room and she did, like, painted stencils all around, like the windows and the walls and stuff. And I'm sure I mentioned the gum.

[Pam]

Ceiling before as a percentage. That guy who spoiled the Sixth Sense in that manner, what chance. Is he in prison or dead right now?

[Dave]

Well, he doesn't have any friends, I'll say that.

[Pam]

I mean, but that's an escalation. So I'm gonna say 30% minimum chance that he's a genius.

[Dave]

I think that's. Yeah, I think that's right.

[Megan]

These are fine facts. These are fine stats. Fine stats with Dave Cole. I want to know what Dutch Boy lady does for a living now, because that's an undertaking.

[Dave]

We got another call from Megan correcting us on something. She was not the only one.

[Tara]

Clip for Hi, Dave. Tara, Pam, Megan. I work at a public library and I can report that Mad magazine does still publish six issues a year. It's mostly vintage. Actually, the front page that says the vintage Mad pieces reprinted in this issue were produced in a time that was less mindful and sensitive to the matters of race, gender, sexual identity, religion, and food allergies. The text of these articles is presented mostly unaltered and with crossed fingers for historical reference. So it's basically like a collection of their old articles, but they do have new covers and new fold ins. For example, the April 2024 issue has Alfred E. Newman as Travis Kelsey with a Taylor Swift with a clothes pin on her nose for the Love Stinks issue. So, yeah, Mad magazine, it's still making money, actually. The inside says, roses are red, violets are blue, we make our bread on clods like you. So I guess people are still buying this. Maybe. I don't know. I've literally seen anybody reading this magazine at the library. And also Pam, I also remember Mad magazine being kind of not dirty, but I remember reading them at like, my older cousin's house, like in the 80s. And there was a lot of jokes about weed and pot smokers and sometimes there were boobs. So it was kind of dirty. That's it. Kevin Coogan forever reporting here.

[Megan]

Thank you.

[Tara]

From the Princeton Public Library.

[Pam]

And just making a note, sometimes there's Goobs.

[Dave]

I'm glad Matt is still out there doing its thing. It's an important cultural icon.

[Pam]

I think it's owned by DC Comics now.

[Dave]

Yeah, this is what we talked about. Now here's the subset of Teen Life calls. We got. People that were traumatized by Driver's ed, starting with call number five.

[Tara]

Hi, Dave, Tara and Tam. I just had to call to discuss my driving experiences. First of all, justice for six shifts. I actually learned how to drive on a six shift. And I hated my dad at the time, but I came to appreciate it. And every car up until my car right now in 2016 was a big shift because it's fun to drive. It just is. Also, so driver's ed, I think we got a reduction on our insurance, which is the only reason I took driver's ed class of 94. I had already been driving for a year and a half and licensed for a year and a half when I actually took driver's ed so we could get that insurance discount. And it was the most boring and useless quarter of my life. But at least I got to watch some videos with some really gory stories from former cops, which. Yuck. So anyway, those are my stories. Thanks for the podcast and for all you do. And I will talk to you later.

[Dave]

Bye. She wasn't lying. She did talk to us later. Clip 6.

[Tara]

Hi, this is Kelly from Rhode Island. Again, I totally traumatized now because I had paused the show to listen. And then I started it up again and Pam mentioned Room to Live. And then I went and watched it and it was exactly the same one that I watched in Driver's Ed. And that story about Mary horrified me as a 17 year old and I. It still sticks with me and I just. Oh, oh, so awful. So anyway, if anybody hasn't listened to Room or watched Room to Live yet, just skip over the married story because it's awful. So anyway, that's my story. I just had to share how horrified I was to relive that moment. So thanks. Talk to you guys later. Bye.

[Pam]

There you go, Pam.

[Megan]

Yeah, I know. I feel terrible.

[Dave]

Sorry, Kelly. Well, you didn't make it?

[Megan]

No, but, you know, sometimes you don't have to lead everyone down a path. I didn't have to link it.

[Pam]

Now, you know, this is like getting invited to fight your neighbor. But it's like a driver's Ed film.

[Dave]

Let us hear from Alicia.

[Tara]

Hey, guys, it's Alicia. What is it with Driver's Ed videos? Like, why are they always so crazy? I took Driver's ed in the mid-90s, and there are two videos that I remember very clearly. One, I don't think I can even call it a video because it was literally played on a reel to reel, you know, where you hear, like. And it was black and white. And the whole premise was it was focused in a police station where every time there was a car accident due to a distracted driver or, you know, driver who was too young doing something stupid. And every time there was an accident, they put a pin in a map of this little town. And so the tagline for the whole thing was too many pins. I don't get it. I don't know why they thought that was going to be really effective, although I do remember it 25 years later. And then the other one opened with the guy, the dad from Family Ties, Michael something. Michael Gross, maybe Gross. He was the star of this particular video. Opened it by saying, now many of you may see me only as a celebrity. Which in the mid-90s, he was incorrect. But that entire video was about railroad safety. When driving with Trike, sure, it's important, but it's not like 30 minute video important. Anyways, I hope Driver Z has improved, but it probably hasn't. Thanks, guys.

[Pam]

The challenge is before this podcast, you know, dies a natural death in 1994. Whenever this ends, we will have a genuine reason to use too many pins.

[Dave]

Too many pins. I mean, I'm sure there'll be a story at some point, but we'll re. Remember is on the board. That's right. With the pins.

[Pam]

Sounds like you might have been watching Tremors with Michael Gross.

[Dave]

We also got a call from Front Porch Kelly. Let's hear it.

[Tara]

Hello, Dave, Tara and Pam. It's. It's Kelly. It's. It's Front Porch Kelly from Alabama. Listen, I've been behind on listening to y'all, and I'm. I'm trying to get caught up. And I was sitting here listening to y'all talk about drivers, and I took driver's ed in high school. I want to say it was like. No, like sophomore year. I don't remember. But anyway, so you started out and you like, my high school was old. Like, it should have been torn down in probably the 80s, but, you know, we still use that building anyway. And we went out to this weird, like, other building outside that looks like maybe, I don't know, like a storage unit. I don't. I don't remember. It's been forever. And you. You were put on these little, I guess you could call them simulators. But I think they were just washing machines with steering wheels and a gas pedal and a brake pedal and, you know, drive. Whatever gear shifter. And so the video were on, like, a projector screen. And I swear to y'all, they were from 1951. And the cars were like these big old things. And, you know, you'd be driving along and, you know, somebody opened a car door. Well, you know, the gas and the brake pedal don't really actually work. And so my teacher was back there pretending to take grades, but I'm pretty sure he was just back there reading magazines because he was like a wrestling coach and could care less about teaching kids anything. But then whenever you got to actually drive in the car, you were actually taking the quote teacher, slash wrestling coach, slash driver's ed teacher to run his errands for the day. So we would go to the hardware store, we go to the bank, we go visit his friends at, like, a mechanic shop and just hang out while, you know, he was in there talking. And we were sitting in the car waiting. Like, it was so stupid. It was so dumb and useless. And you did it one day a week, and I absolutely hated it because I just don't like riding in cars with strange people that I don't really know, and they're judging me. But anyway, that was my driver's ed experience in. In Alabama. So I just. I. I'd rather sit on the simulators all day because those were fun, because the movies were actually stupid. Anyway, I love you guys. Bye.

[Pam]

Wow. So it was a washing machine with a steering wheel behind a projected image of cars doing stuff from the 1950s. And that's how she learned to drive.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pam]

All right, great.

[Dave]

Well, that and, you know, the practical of her wrestling coaches scam. Yeah, making kids come with him do bullshit around town.

[Pam]

Everybody had a class that either was taught by the gym coach at either in full or in part. But never did I have a dumber class than when he has a substitute for a week to teach us math, advanced mathematics class. Because this man did not know his math like we were teaching him for the week. And.

[Megan]

Oh, that's nice. You can Sell that movie now.

[Pam]

It was nice. Yeah. Just like the Blind side. Yeah.

[Dave]

All right, let's segue into our.

[Megan]

It's called Carry the two.

[Pam]

Nice.

[Dave]

Let's segue into our pop culture calls. Let's hear from Carolyn.

[Megan]

This is Carolyn from Luxembourg calling with regards to Tara's discussion of her role as a sheep in the musical version of animal farm. In 1999, I think my church did a Christmas production of a musical version of, you know, the whole Christmas story, where we all had to be animals in the manger witnessing the birth of our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. And each of the animals sang a song about the birth of our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. And I quite luckily got to be one of those animals. And I was cast as the cow. I did not even get a mask. I wore a sign that said cow. I was 13, and they put me in a sign that said cow. It was not great, but, you know, I did it. I sang my song. I was probably not a hit because I'm not very good at singing, but I did it. And, yeah, I don't go to church anymore. Not just because of that, but it's certainly part of it. Anyhow, love the podcast. Keep up the good work.

[Pam]

Thanks. I'm gonna put it out there. Halloween's coming up. If you don't have an idea, Carolyn's cat, cow, from her childhood would make a great costume. And it's going to be easy to make.

[Megan]

I just fix going, what would Jesus do?

[Dave]

I know. I just love the idea of, like, I'll do this play. I will play this cow, but afterwards, I reject God.

[Pam]

This is.

[Dave]

This is it.

[Pam]

You made your bargain church. I'll play your cow.

[Dave]

Okay, but to for Halloween before we move on, how, Pam, how many ray guns do you think you're gonna see at Halloween this year? Or are people gonna be over it by then?

[Megan]

That. I've already tried to find my ray gun costume, which is difficult. I found the company that makes the official outfit.

[Dave]

Oh, my God.

[Megan]

Of course they're not selling them, but here's what I get to do. If I can find my old squid game costume, it's it, but covered in blood, so I don't know. I'll see if I can wash it. I'm dead.

[Dave]

Reagan. I'm Reagan. After she went back to Australia, after disgracing the country.

[Megan]

I love a comfy Halloween costume, but it's possible that this star will have burned too, too brightly by October. It's.

[Dave]

It's a shame. Dave, do you know about Reagan, is.

[Pam]

That the breakdancer that just really just kind of showed up and did a somersault or something?

[Dave]

Well, yes, but I have since learned more about the whole. There's, like, a scandal behind it.

[Tara]

Where?

[Megan]

Scandal.

[Dave]

Of course. There's always a scandal. I'm sure she smokes weed, but it wasn't bad.

[Pam]

She was doping, but the wrong way for performance.

[Dave]

She just. She thought doping was go and act like a dope, and she did. No. So apparently this is what I got from a TikTok. So all of this may be wrong. This is what I gleaned at scenes.

[Pam]

The world's number one information source. TikTok.

[Dave]

Exactly. So apparently the World Dance Federation has been trying for a really long time to get ballroom dancing into the Olympics, and they keep not being able to because it's old. Old fashioned or whatever. So someone got the idea at the World Dance Federation to try to get breaking in because it is more athletic.

[Pam]

Why breaking? Why not break dancing?

[Dave]

I don't know.

[Pam]

Oh, it's like Trekker. Trekkies.

[Dave]

I don't.

[Megan]

They covered it.

[Pam]

Trekkies. No, we're Trekkers now. You're Trekkies.

[Dave]

So they. So then they had to, like, put on a bunch of official, like, World Dance Federation events to qualify for the Olympics. You had to pay to be in them.

[Megan]

So.

[Dave]

And a lot of, like, breakdancers were like, we're not gonna participate in this because we don't want. Like, it's an art form. It's not a sport. We're not gonna be in it. So the people that did who had the $80 to enter were like, you know, not the top, not the creme de la creme. So even though Ray Gunn did win competitions, including one where her husband was a judge, and he is also a terrible breakdancer, and his terrible breakdancing was included in the stick document. It's just very. It's extremely suspect how all of the people that were in it were chosen to do it.

[Pam]

Counterpoint.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pam]

Who cares?

[Dave]

I. I only, you know, I don't. But I learned this.

[Pam]

I'm just saying. Yeah, you know, it's breakdancing at the Olympics. Who cares?

[Megan]

Well, she represented an entire country.

[Dave]

Yeah, Australia might care that she made them all look dumb.

[Megan]

The poor Afghan girl, she had to, like, try out, and then she could have beaten Reagan. Why'd they put her up against someone who was better? Like, she could have stayed for the.

[Pam]

Whole tournament, the Olympics, and the World Cup. There's so much hand wringing about how it's so corrupt. But the moment it starts, everybody's into it. Make up your mind, people. Either it shouldn't exist or it just enjoy it and then check your conscious at the door.

[Dave]

Well, anyway, moving on.

[Pam]

That's right. They've got Dave Got real.

[Megan]

Nobody likes political.

[Pam]

Everybody's complicit.

[Megan]

But wait, but Dave, you might have.

[Pam]

Watched My name is Dave, and I'm here to say breakdancing shouldn't be done in the usual way.

[Megan]

But, David, have you not watched any of her dancing?

[Pam]

No, I don't watch the Olympics.

[Megan]

You don't have to watch the Olympics. I texted Tara during it. That's where I was like, surely she's watching this because Step Up. Yeah, everybody in Step up could have probably made it to. Could have meddled in this competition. But she does look like a Molly Shannon character.

[Dave]

And so I just thought it's very funny. Like, she's just so terrible.

[Megan]

She's just a sprinkler.

[Dave]

At some point, she does a kangaroo move because she's Australian and she's, like.

[Megan]

Slithering on the ground like a snake. And she's doing, like, crocodile arms. None of it.

[Pam]

Not interested.

[Dave]

Pam. I'm gonna find the clip of her husband breakdancing that was included in this TikTok. Cause it was amazingly even worse. And he does it apparently professionally, so I don't know what that means. Anyway, we've talked about this too long. Sorry that I brought it up, Dave.

[Megan]

It does happen at slumber parties, though. Dave. We do sit around and talk about the most recent Olympics and or B girls that are shaming our countries and.

[Dave]

What you're gonna be for Halloween.

[Pam]

Is that what B girls and B boys means? Break dancing boys. Okay, now, all right. There was a question for our other podcast that I didn't understand, but now I do. So thank you very much. It's been informative.

[Dave]

Great, thanks.

[Megan]

My job here is done.

[Pam]

But wait, so are B boy names and B girl names, sort of like drag names? You have to, like, find the inner spirit of your blah, blah, blah.

[Dave]

I think so.

[Megan]

Unfortunately, Ray Gumby name is just Rachel Gunn, so she didn't go too far on that one. But the man who won the gold in Breaking Men, Phil Wizard. I was like, yes. I don't even like. I hope his name is Phil, but if it's not Phil wizard is a great. It's just great. You'd still be F Stomp Dave, right?

[Dave]

F Stomp.

[Megan]

It's F Stomp. Yeah.

[Dave]

I'd just be Kevin. And I would never explain why?

[Megan]

We'd always be like, we need to talk about Kevin. That's how I start every. Just hype behind you. We're talking about her.

[Dave]

All right, guys, we've talked about Raegun too long. It's time again to hear from Megan.

[Tara]

Thanks, Booker. Thanks, Booker. Oh, wait, Booker was already done by now. Never mind. You Booker, you let it down. Yeah, Booker, you fucking idiot. Yeah, you asshole. Eat shit, Booker. I have not been able to get that exchange out of my mind just listening to it. Thank you, Kevin Kruger. Bye.

[Pam]

Did we say that?

[Dave]

Yeah, vaguely. Remember?

[Pam]

I thought that was a model. I thought she was writing in another novel.

[Megan]

That's the transcript from the episode I wasn't in.

[Dave]

That's right.

[Megan]

And when I listened to it, I thought, God, I wish I had a clip of just my dad who would just lean into my room sometimes and go, Booker. And then walk out. Because he also enjoyed just shouting Booker.

[Pam]

Why was his name Booker in the show?

[Megan]

That's what.

[Pam]

Was that his actual name or is that his nickname? Okay, so he wasn't like a bookie or something? Or is that's why he's Kevin Booker.

[Dave]

And he wasn't called that because he booked people. Yeah.

[Pam]

Do you know there's a show in the UK that's coming up that's like a crime show and it's called Bookish or something like that. And like, the detective is a bookstore owner whose last name is also Book.

[Dave]

They needed to take one thing off.

[Pam]

They needed to take at least one thing off. Yeah. All right.

[Dave]

It's a lot of quirk. All right, we've got an email from Suzanne. I got Suzanne's permission to read it. Here we go. Wow, it was amazing to hear. Lubricated Goat got a mention in Sassy Story Time. So Australia has this music video show called Rage. It airs overnight on Friday and Saturday nights on abc, our national broadcaster. Australian Broadcasting Company started in the late 80s and is still on. That part blew my mind. For a long time, Rage was all we had as far as music video shows. Cable came really late to Oz, but it was enough because Rage was awesome. No ads, virtually no presenters. Just 8 to 10 solid hours of music videos. The number of times as teenagers we were all crashed on the floor of someone's living room slumber party watching Rage and saying, just one more video and no censorship. Come the middle of the night, they would play anything. The uncut version of Erotica, that half hour long Aphex Twin video, and this infamous Lubricated Goat video. And Suzanne includes a clip from YouTube, which we will put in the show notes. It's this performance and there. I guess I won't spoil it. I'll let you discover it. It was. I was not expecting what I saw and it was pretty funny. And Suzanne goes on, there is actually a pretty interesting story behind the clip and a half hour documentary that explains it. I did not watch that tldr. The show was making a point about censorship and she links that as well. We'll link that in the show notes too. Outside of insufferable hipsters crossed out in the no Rock fans of the time, this video is all most Australians know of lubricant. And you know what, when you watch the video, you'll be like, that's a pretty cool thing to be known for. So thank you for all that context, Suzanne. That's delightful.

[Pam]

The show was called Rage.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pam]

Yeah, that's pretty Good. That's very 90s.

[Dave]

Oh, yeah. Yes. All right, some fashion etc calls. Let's hear from Chicago. Sarah.

[Tara]

Hi, it's Sarah from Chicagoland. I had the funniest thing happen to me on Friday. I was having a facial massage, which, look it up. It is so much better than a regular facial and I look like an angel afterwards. But anyway, I had not eaten and all of a sudden my stomach started rumbling from hunger and all I could think of the entire time was him yelling, is that your stomach? And thankfully I was so relaxed that I couldn't laugh, but I could not thinking about it. So thank you, thank you, thank you for putting that in my head. I am so, so thankful for this podcast. Love you all. Bye bye.

[Megan]

That's such a good sign, Sarah, that you were quite relaxed because the gurgling means that you had moved into. Out of your fight or flight and into your, like, recovery. Your body's like being healthy. And so when I get a massage, my. There's one person I go to, he's always like, here are all the gurgles. It means I'm doing a good job.

[Pam]

Yeah. And then Pat's like. And he's like, I'm doing a really good job.

[Megan]

He's a fartist.

[Pam]

What's the facial massage? That sounds kind of.

[Dave]

What do you think?

[Megan]

Well, I don't.

[Pam]

I know how I. You know, when you get a massage on, like your back or whatever, you know how they like press into it and move the muscles around and. But on the face, it feels like that would hurt.

[Dave]

I mean, I assume it's like acupressure.

[Megan]

Yeah, it doesn't hurt. I mean, they also. I mean, if she's. She's getting creams and masks, and then probably they're. They're, you know, draining, like, lymph and pulling stuff down her neck and getting. Draining your ear stuff.

[Dave]

Lymph.

[Megan]

Yeah, lymph.

[Dave]

Your lymphatic.

[Pam]

Draining your lymph of what?

[Dave]

How did you learn draining it out.

[Megan]

Of your face and Hawaii.

[Pam]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[Megan]

What's a lymph?

[Dave]

Oh, boy. Have you heard of lymph nodes before?

[Pam]

Yeah. What is being drained?

[Dave]

The lymph that comes out of the limb.

[Megan]

Questions.

[Pam]

Now the answers have dried up.

[Megan]

The answer is toxic. It's just a bunch of you going.

[Pam]

To be like madam Phil wizard?

[Megan]

I'm just going to sit here and hold my crystal and not think about your judgment. I'm going to. Anyway. You know, they can, like, you know, it's. You get puffy in your face, your muscles get really tense. A really good.

[Pam]

Pam, this is like the gym teacher coming in and teaching me about math.

[Dave]

Shut up. If you want her to answer, let her talk.

[Megan]

I'm gonna send you a book on myofacial massage, which you could just put on that Christmas pile. Like your fascia, I don't fucking need. You don't deserve to know the truth.

[Dave]

You're never gonna get one. What do you care?

[Megan]

Well, it's a shame. They're nice.

[Pam]

I just wanted to close the circuit on what we're draining. Apparently, I'm never gonna know.

[Megan]

My facial acupuncturist moved, and I can feel myself falling apart. I miss her daily. It was really good. Everybody thought Maria Bakalova was my child.

[Pam]

Oh, my God. I almost had iced coffee come out of my nose right there, and it would have gone on my very expensive keyboard. I would have been mad at myself.

[Megan]

You would have earned it.

[Pam]

Okay, great.

[Dave]

Guys, it's time to hear from Megan. For the last time this month, Dave.

[Tara]

I think this is about the fashion. I don't know what month, but anyway, so I was listening to the podcast as I was getting ready for the evening, and as I was spritzing on my colors, the Benetton perfume or cologne, rather, you started talking about how you can't get colors anymore. And Pam started saying, you know, it was like instant nostalgia. Well, you can, because I just. I have it on my body right now. I can't remember where I bought it, but then, like, I vaguely recall in a very, very early episode of Listen to Sassy that where, like, there was a colors of Benetton ad that you all decided that you were going to buy colors to Benetton. Maybe you just decided not to, or maybe it didn't arrive, or maybe you never intended to in the first place anyway. I'm sorry. Okay, well, you can wear colors today in 2024. Can we help her out forever?

[Pam]

That was the least informative information call we've ever.

[Dave]

Yeah. Megan, we love you, clearly. But, like, this is not secret to.

[Pam]

Everlasting life is right. Squirrels.

[Megan]

I bought it.

[Dave]

You know, I don't know where. This is not information we can possibly use. Like, yes, you can go on the Internet and find people that are selling colors, but, like, they don't make get anymore. As far as I can.

[Pam]

Maybe it's a knockoff or something.

[Megan]

They have. We have. We have colors we bought on the ebay.

[Dave]

Pam bought me a tester that I've, like, been. I have not even cracked it because it's too precious.

[Megan]

I cracked mine. It does smell like colors, but it just doesn't last very long. Because it's ancient.

[Dave]

Because it's old. Yeah.

[Megan]

And she may have current colors, but I believe they changed the smell. Like, when you go on Amazon for $199.30, you can buy Ben and Colors for Women EDT spray, which is different. Yeah, but it's a different. I think they change the smell. Pretty sure. Because it says the scents are orange and vanilla and I don't know. I don't believe it. Yeah, you can go on ebay and get the old stuff and get some vintage perfume, or you could just keep buying sassies and then smearing those little inserts on you, and I think they last a little longer.

[Dave]

Yeah, but, Megan, if this is a MAD Magazine situation where, like, DC Comics is still putting out colors to Benetton somehow, just tell us where to buy it.

[Pam]

We're mad at you, Megan.

[Dave]

We're not mad. But, like, that's the crucial part where you're like, I'm gonna give them a shop tip. And then don't actually say where you bought it.

[Megan]

Like, it's not smelling it now. I wish you could smell it. It smells so good.

[Pam]

I found this great recipe.

[Dave]

I smell amazing.

[Pam]

So good. It's got so many things in it. When you put it all together, it tastes so good, and you can totally make it yourself. Goodbye.

[Dave]

All right, just a few more calls. I put this in the category of potpourri because they didn't really fit anywhere else. Let's hear 13.

[Tara]

Hey, Dave, Tara and Pam. I have been a Long time listener. You guys make me laugh so much, I have cried, I've peed, I've done it all. But listening in the car tonight to your latest episode, it has finally occurred to me who the heck Dave reminds me of. And Dave is simply Jean Belcher all grown up. And that makes me very happy. So love you guys so much. Hope everything is great for you and I will continue to listen. I'm sure you guys will continue to make me laugh until I cry. Thank you and have a great rest of your night.

[Dave]

I'll say this is not the first time that Dave has been compared to this character.

[Pam]

This is true.

[Dave]

So that's very astute. No name.

[Pam]

It's not. Not wrong.

[Dave]

Are you offended?

[Pam]

No.

[Dave]

When people say this about you. No. You're okay with it?

[Pam]

I'm all right with that.

[Dave]

We got another call from Front Porch Kelly. Let's hear it, y'all.

[Tara]

It's the verb. Front Porch Kelly. I'm just. I just wanted to call in and say how happy y'all have made me this this week. Because, I mean, I got like three mentions, you guys, and made me clutch my pearls. I'm just. Y'all. Y'all are just the best. And I'm just so happy that I have y'all in my life. No, I've been dealing with the 2024 cicada migration outside of our bedroom window. So I'm not. I'm not getting much sleep here lately. But anyway, I just wanted to let y'all know that y'all just brighten my day and just keep up the good work. And Kevin Coogan forever.

[Pam]

There is a. Another podcast that we were dealing with cicadas once, and the. You can actually do something to make them avoid your house.

[Megan]

Oh, yeah.

[Pam]

That story is brought to you by Megan.

[Dave]

Oh, my God. While that call was happening, Pam did go and find the Benetton fragrances website. And so there is a whole section for colors. But, yeah, I mean, I'll. I'll try it. I'll try it. I'll commit to try it.

[Megan]

I mean, I'm. I'm. This has led me to buy all kinds of testers lately because, you know, I'm still trying to find certain smells. It doesn't matter.

[Dave]

Sure.

[Megan]

Does it type. You know, I walked right into a thing I wanted to walk out of with Dave in the room.

[Pam]

Can't you just go to a department store and, like, get a sniff of.

[Megan]

The new one of colors?

[Dave]

Maybe.

[Megan]

Maybe.

[Dave]

I haven't seen it, though.

[Megan]

I mean, are they just At. They used to just be at Benetton stores. So I'm just. Everything's kind of halted in my 13 year old brain about this for perfume. So I don't know. Yeah, but. And I can't seem to find, like everything on Amazon is sort of lying. Like, this is the stuff. Pay $200. And everywhere else is calling it a discontinued amber scent and you have to go look for like vintage bottles. So I don't know. I'll keep looking because I care. But yeah, Megan, you can get one on ebay.

[Dave]

All right, let's hear our very last call of this episode.

[Tara]

Hi, Tara. Hi, Dave. Hi, Pam. I am calling you on Stuck in traffic because I would be too nervous to call you from my home. So I apologize for any background noise. I've been mean to tell the story for a while. I don't remember in what context you guys released this recording, but there was a, like a podcast episode that you guys did a million years ago when you all went on a vacation to Hawaii together. And this was before Dave and Tara lived there. And just knowing that makes me feel, like, really weird about myself. But there was something that stuck with me from that recording that I think about far more frequently than should be normal. My name is Erica. I should not continue the dream. There was a memorial that you guys were doing. I'm gonna call back because it's not working and I'm driving now, so I'm gonna call back.

[Dave]

Guys, she never did.

[Pam]

She made Erica.

[Dave]

But I think what she's referring to is she loved bamboo from the botanical garden.

[Pam]

Yeah, sure.

[Megan]

Just the other day I was looking for my she loved bamboo shirt, but I don't think I have it anymore. But I do have, like, I have a shocking number of television bamboo shirts that just pop up where I'm like, I still have that one. But yeah, she loved bamboo, Erica. Which, you know, clearly you were about to tell us because you said it plays in your head all the time. Ours too.

[Dave]

And that plaque is still there. Last time, the last time we were at the botanical garden, which was probably within the last 10 years when we were living there.

[Pam]

Is that. Is that the same one as Tandoori Lady? Yes, because I have that still.

[Dave]

Yeah, The.

[Megan]

The podcast.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Megan]

Recording. Yeah, I have it somewhere, too.

[Pam]

Yeah, I got tender because we did a couple. Right. Oh, three types of cookies.

[Megan]

But that was three types of cookies is what lives in my head all the time. That was Austin.

[Dave]

That was the Austin.

[Megan]

And I just sometimes get out of the shower and go three taps of cookies.

[Pam]

Wasn't there two from Hawaii?

[Dave]

No.

[Pam]

Okay.

[Dave]

It was just one. That was really.

[Pam]

I mean, I could put these up as maybe a Patreon bonus or something.

[Dave]

Hey.

[Pam]

I mean, the quality is super bad because it was like microphone sitting in the middle of the car. And we're driving, we're all talking. But, you know, if you don't mind. Fuck it. I can put it up.

[Megan]

We go to the spa in Tandoori.

[Dave]

We tell that story, too. That's probably why there was a bit of a tone on Erica's, like, you went. You all went to Hawaii together, got naked. Yes.

[Megan]

For Valentine's Day.

[Dave]

Yeah, it was Valentine's Day. And we should just say there was supposed to be another person coming on this trip. And then that didn't work out.

[Megan]

Listener. He did not show up. And I sat alone next to a seat on Valentine's Day in first class, and they brought over champagne and roses, and I watched the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

[Dave]

Aw.

[Pam]

But years later, you got a corporate certificate for your three year anniversary for your marriage. So it all works out.

[Dave]

Not to that guy.

[Megan]

Where I then went with you guys to Hawaii on my honeymoon.

[Pam]

There you go.

[Dave]

The best thing that could have happened was that guy not showing up because it cleared the path for you to meet your actual soulmate.

[Pam]

Yeah. How's that going? It's still going, right?

[Megan]

It was. It's going all right.

[Pam]

It's fine.

[Megan]

It's fine. Yeah. You guys were very sweet on that trip, so I. That was. That was a good one.

[Dave]

You're very sweet. Well, I think Austin was like. Was it. It wasn't the same year, was it, that we took our first trip to Austin? Maybe it was.

[Pam]

It was. Let's see, 10. Oh, I know all the dates were destroyed in copying, so I don't know.

[Megan]

I could look if you need me to.

[Dave]

Well, when did you meet Jason?

[Megan]

I'm not legally allowed to tell anyone that.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Megan]

No, I met him and then I didn't know him.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Megan]

Hold on, let me just look up. Eat through Austin.

[Pam]

2011 dirty lady is almost two hours long.

[Dave]

I think Hawaii was 2010.

[Megan]

The Olympics. It would have been. Well, I know that that would have been 2009. And that is also when I met Jason because, like, formally. Because formally, the. The Olympics were happening in 2008. And I just remember my friend being like, between the Olympics and this guy you're dating, you've never been so American. And this was before Jesus. So.

[Dave]

Right.

[Megan]

Yeah. 2009.

[Pam]

Well, I will get one of Those up relatively soon for our Patreon supporters. So if you're not on the club yet, here's another reason to get on board.

[Dave]

Hell, yeah. Yes, but that. When you. The trip after we went. When we went to Austin and you met Jason, that was when you had his sunglasses. And I was like, you have to replace them because I don't want you to fuck it up with this guy. And I hadn't even met him yet. But I was right.

[Megan]

We. Yes, we bring it up a lot. It's true. Tara was a very early supporter of this relationship.

[Dave]

Well, I stand by that.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Pam]

Let's get out of here.

[Dave]

Next time, we'll be talking about the teen life topics of the November 1990 issue. Become a vegetarian. Meet a Foster kid. Learn how to Sleep, Dave. And more. And by the way, if you want to read the entire issue, not just the visual aids that we put up, hey, join us in the patreon. Listen to sassy.comclub. you will get full issue scans of every single goddamn episode that or issue that we've ever talked about.

[Pam]

Look, I'm trying to relearn how to sleep because my damaged body, my terrible genetics. I have to wear a CPAP mask now, and they suck. I'm so sorry. I hate it so much. Well, I hate it a little less than I did when I started. I'm a little bit more used to it now. But if the doctor comes to you and says you have sleep apnea, are you willing to wear a CPAP mask before you make that commitment? Because it's kind of expensive. You think to yourself, I would rather die a few months earlier than use that mask. That is the correct answer.

[Dave]

Oh, my God.

[Pam]

That is my PSA to you, dear listeners, this week.

[Dave]

Oh, hey, what do you got?

[Pam]

The plug. Oh, Rip.

[Dave]

Oh, my God.

[Pam]

Say hello to Erica for us.

[Megan]

That was the end of that.

[Dave]

Okay. For my plug this week, we watched a show called Mr. Throwback that is all about reconnecting with. With people from your past. We talked about it on the Patreon for our sister podcast, Extra Hot. Great. This is, of course, the bonus Extra, extra Hot.

[Megan]

Great.

[Dave]

And I also reviewed it at Cracked, and I will link both of those in the show notes. Mr. Throwback. Good show, Dave. Did you finish it? You gotta finish it.

[Pam]

Yeah, I finished it.

[Dave]

Oh, you did? Yep. Great.

[Megan]

I would like to plug. Speaking of things that my husband found and told me about and said, I think you'll like this. The change, which you have to. But, you know, you could just try out Britbox that you could watch the change ladies who are super into menopausal revenge stories. This is for you. It's charming, it's heartwarming, it's sweet. It's your new fleabag. If Fleabag was a little more whimsy, it's wonderful. It's six episodes. You can do it and do it in a heartbeat. And I highly recommend it.

[Dave]

It's. What is the name of the star of it?

[Pam]

Menopause.

[Dave]

She's formerly from Taskmaster. She had the weird hat. She did the funny dance. I want to say Bridget Christie, but I think that's not.

[Megan]

You got it.

[Dave]

It's Bridget. It is Bridget Christie. She created the show, Dave. She of the funny walking.

[Pam]

She's a weird one. Well, you can follow Tara on social at Tara. A Pam is at pamelaribbon. And the show itself is at. Listen to Sassy if you want to get that upcoming Hawaii esque episode of Overwhelming Positivity, which was that podcast, oh my God, years ago, you can join the club. Listen to sassy.comclub to join up. Not only will you get that future drop, but you get ad free episodes of this podcast. You get the full PDFs of every issue as we start talking about them. That alone should be worth the price of admission book. You get all these extra things too? Yeah, early drops as well. As soon as the podcast is ready, it goes out to you. Sometimes a couple days, sometimes couple weeks before everybody else gets it. So that again is ListenToSassy.com Club.

[Megan]

Hey, you can join our future slumber parties by calling 720Sassy. Go and let us know how you were. You a shitty sister? Or a perfect, perfect sibling? Do you exist anymore? Did you take the quiz? You can also find information about our podcast, links to our visual aids and content contact about all of us at. Listen to sassy.com it's also where you can leave us a voicemail. Thank you so much for listening and we'll see you next time.

[Pam]

Sorry, one second. Go lie down.

[Dave]

Just calm down.

[Pam]

I know a lot loud. I know, buddy, but you're fine. You're happy. But go lie down. That's new to me.

[Megan]

Guys. It was right here.

[Dave]

Oh, shit.

[Megan]

The earthquake was. It was like two miles from here. And I was sitting. It was sitting here in therapy. And we both start. Well, the first thing that happened is I learned I had a lot of heavy glass objects right above my head because one almost fell down on top of me, which is this one, which is an anniversary gift from Jason. Ironically, it almost killed me.

[Dave]

Oh, my God.

[Megan]

So I have since moved all the heavy glass objects from above here, but it was a shaker.

[Pam]

Did he get you a corporate prize for your anniversary? What was that?

[Megan]

Yeah. So the third year is glass.

[Dave]

Oh, that's funny.

[Pam]

What's it say?

[Dave]

Three years service. He really did.

[Pam]

That's really funny.

[Dave]

Good job, Jason.