September 1991 Teen Life: Farming, Popularity & Baked Potatoes

Summary

Podcast Summary: Listen to Sassy: Life In The 90s

Episode: September 1991 Teen Life: Farming, Popularity & Baked Potatoes
Date: March 31, 2026
Hosts: Tara Ariano, Pamela Ribon, David T. Cole

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Overview

In this lively episode, Tara, Pam, and Dave journey back to September 1991 through the pages of Sassy magazine, exploring the quirks and key themes of the issue. The trio discusses teen farming anxieties, the myth of popularity, baked potato science, and more—punctuated, as always, by their sharp banter and personal anecdotes. Expect expert-level tangents, loving roasts, and deep dives into vintage teen culture with references that bridge past and present.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Pop Culture of Fall 1991 (00:57)

• Sassy’s September 1991 issue opens in a world where Nelson Mandela is newly president of the ANC, Clarence Thomas’s Supreme Court hearings begin, and the U.S. announces the 1992 Olympic “Dream Team.”
• The hosts riff on Dream Team members and the Clarence Thomas/Anita Hill hearings, playfully blending “gross things” from the hearings with basketball names:
  Pam: “Do you think you could name more players of that Dream Team? Or gross things that Clarence Thomas said to Anita Hill?” (00:57)

2. Forensic Lipstick Sleuthing (03:31)

• Tara and Dave compare two copies of the issue, discovering subtle differences: one cover model has dramatically altered lipstick, possibly drawn in post-production.
• Dave: “I think at some point they decided to augment this model's lips and try to make it look like there's lipstick…” (03:43)
• Pam proposes contacting Sassy art staff alum Amy Turner for answers, joking about Dave’s “conspiracy theory board.”

3. Feature #1: “Why You Should Lose Sleep Over Farming” (04:57)

• They review Karen’s farming article, critiquing its grasp of environmental concerns and its list of farm crisis causes—drought, floods, pests, and "heavy-handed environmentalists.”
• Tara: “Putting the environmentalists on the same tier as these other forces is really revealing her ignorance.” (06:16)
• The group laughs over the fact the article never suggests buying organic.
• Anecdotes about “marrying a rice farmer” spark jokes about FarmersOnly.com and ’90s job prestige.

4. Feature #2: “Popular People Are As Insecure As You” (09:34)

• Classic Sassy message: popularity is overrated; even the It Kids aren’t happier.
• Each host recounts personal high school experiences. Tara shares how art school culture made typical popularity hierarchies irrelevant: Tara: “The biggest clique… were total freaks and weirdos and didn’t pay attention to people trying to make prevailing John Hughes popularity happen.” (10:03)
• Series of running jokes on cliquishness, peer pressure, and—randomly—roasted vegetables as a clique initiation rite.

5. Baked Potato Science & Nutrition Myths (15:43)

• Sassy’s “Fun Facts” section claims a baked potato loses 60% of Vitamin C in one hour post-cooking.
• Pam and Tara become obsessed with debunking or contextualizing the stat, exploring steaming vs. baking, and the neurosis of vitamin retention.
• Pam: “This Alibaba page that I went to about it is treating the vitamin C value of the potato like you are trying to disarm a bomb…” (16:19)
• Dave jokes about “Dutch oven” and “steamed potatoes” in truly Sassy fashion.

6. Teen Health Advice: Diabetes, Blister Care, and Teeth Whitening (15:10, 18:23)

• Cinnamon and spices as potential alternative diabetes treatment (spoiler: didn’t pan out).
• Debunking Sassy’s advice on not popping blisters: Tara: “If I have a blister, I am popping it. End of story.” (18:55)
• Caution about teeth bleaching kits: from caution to ubiquity in just a few decades.

7. “What He Said” – Boys & Crying (19:57)

• Sassy polled teen boys about crying. Most say “yes—but not in a girly way.”
• Pam discusses real-life emotional suppression, her southern husband Jason’s view that “tears are performative,” and how “The Pit” movie emotionally unlocked him: Pam: “He goes, ‘Why would I [cry by myself]? Tears are performative.’” (23:04)
• The crew reflects on the emotional training of boys and how feelings were handled in their upbringings.

8. Letters to Sassy: Dipping, Mean Parents, and the Frequent Pee-ers Club (25:22–34:34)

Dipping (Chewing Tobacco) (25:22)

• Pam’s husband Jason used a snus (smokeless tobacco).
• The hosts reminisce about '90s bus ride spittoons, and Pam tells a hilarious story about her toddler mimicking dad’s habit: Pam: “The baby just dipped, and she looks so fucking cool…” (26:49)
• Dave and Tara admit knowing nothing about dip and riff on Canadian “flarning culture.”

Overly Strict Parents (28:05)

• A letter from a teen with "stifling" folks sparks discussion on generational discipline, allowances as “family bucks,” and Pam’s attempt to pay her daughter to watch movies with her.
• Dave: “You are trying to cure the bad habit of a short attention span by giving your child money. Okay, great.” (30:19)

Frequent Pee-ers Club (34:26)

• A listener asks about frequent urination and fears of future incontinence; relatable laughs about late-night bathroom trips ensue.
• Pam: “Jason said all you have to do is stop drinking fluids three hours before you go to bed. I was like, what is— that’s like three in the afternoon. I can’t live like this.” (35:17)

9. Stuff You Wrote: Sassy’s Reader Submissions (35:49–40:32)

• The trio reads off poetry and poetic letters from readers, enjoying submissions ranging from grocery store poetry (“I think I’ll Buy Spam”) to oddly cryptic notes (“for Debbie”).

• Pam researches a submitter’s life trajectory, revealing their eventual career in roller derby art.

• Trivia: male ladybugs = Cockinellidae (39:02), and a tangent about the etymology of “ladybug.”

• Sassy science: No two snowflakes are alike—because no two take the same path through the sky (39:43).

• “Buttcon,” a found-in-research oddity, sparks laughter—no further explanation needed.

10. Canadian Bands Roll Call (42:37–44:49)

• Dave, Tara, and Pam rattle off early 90s Canadian bands—Tragically Hip, Spirit of the West, Maestro Fresh Wes, Crash Test Dummies, Barenaked Ladies, Alannah Miles, Alanis Morissette—riffing on urban legends (three testicles = deep voice!) and confusing TV with music acts.
• Episode closes on pure nostalgia and inside jokes, effectively (and affectionately) bullying Pam about Katy, Texas’s lack of legendary acts.

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Memorable Quotes

• Pam, on researching nutrition facts:
  “This Alibaba page… is treating the vitamin C value of the potato like you are trying to disarm a bomb.” (16:19)
• Tara, on farm crisis article:
  “Like read a book or travel to the future and watch Erin Brockovich.” (06:16)
• Dave, on pee problems:
  “This letter might have been written by a 50-year-old dude.” (34:51)
• Pam, on performative tears:
  “He said, ‘Tears are performative… It’s fake. It’s to make people pay attention to us.’” (23:04)
• Pam, on toddler imitation:
  “The baby just dipped and she looks so fucking cool…” (26:49)
• Dave, on clever allowance:
  “What if… giving allowance in family bucks, only redeemable for family things.” (29:05)
• Tara, on Canadian pop culture:
  “Tragically Hip. No one’s even said them!” (43:40)
• Dave, riffing on folk etymology:
  “The full name is like, Beetle of the lady, and it’s about the Virgin Mary.” (39:19)

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Notable Timestamps

• 00:57 - 1991 in Pop Culture & Dream Team/Clarence Thomas banter
• 03:31 - Lipstick “forensics” on Sassy covers
• 04:57 - Review of farming feature
• 09:34 - “Popularity: It’s Overrated” feature and high school tales
• 15:43 - Baking vs. steaming potatoes & vitamin C myth-busting
• 19:57 - Poll: Do boys cry?
• 25:22 - “Dipping” (chewing tobacco) letters and toddler mimicry
• 28:05 - Dealing with strict parents and incentivizing family time
• 34:26 - Frequent Pee-ers Club & sleep hydration strategies
• 35:49 - Reader poetry and quirky submissions
• 39:02 - Male ladybugs, ladybug etymology, and Cockinellidae
• 42:37 - Canadian band shout-outs, urban legends, and generational nostalgia

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Tone & Style

The hosts maintain their trademark blend of wit, irreverent Gen X nostalgia, deep research, and supportive camaraderie. They weave personal stories, trivia, and lighthearted roasts, always keeping Sassy’s inclusive, tongue-in-cheek spirit alive for a new generation of listeners.

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In Closing

If 1991 was your formative era—or if you’re just hungry for a side of potato science and lipstick sleuthing—this episode dives deep into the soul of Sassy. It’s a testament to the magazine’s impact and the endless joy found in pop culture minutiae and honest friendships.

For more, visit ListenToSassy.com. Take the September 1991 quiz, join the club, and leave your nostalgia-fueled voicemail at 720-SASSY-GO.

Transcript

[Dave]

I sold my car in Carvana last night.

[Pam]

Well, that's cool. No, you don't understand. It went perfectly. Real offer down to the penny. They're picking it up tomorrow. Nothing went wrong. So what's the problem? That is the problem. Nothing in my life goes as smoothly. I'm waiting for the catch. Maybe there's no catch. That's exactly what a catch would want me to think. Wow. You need to relax. I need to knock on wood. Do we have wood?

[Dave]

Is this table wood?

[Pam]

I think it's laminate. Okay. Yeah, that's good. That's close enough. Car selling without a catch. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up fees may apply.

[Dave]

Here's a rare tractor, one of only nine built like this by White Farm Equipment back in 1991. It's an American 80 diesel with front wheel assist. To honor the four tractor brands in White Farm Equipment's history, the American 80 was available in a choice of colors including Oliver Green, Cockshut Red and Minneapolis Moline Gold. Like this one.

[Pam]

Okay, It is September 1991. Nelson Mandela is chosen president of the African National Congress. The U.S. senate Judiciary Committee begins hearings on Clarence Thomas nomination to the U.S. supreme Court. And USA Basketball announces the Dream Team for the 1992 Olympics. Tara and Dave, do you think you could name more players of that Dream Team? Or gross things that Clarence Thomas said to Anita Hill?

[Dave]

I bet they are actually the same items because all the players are names of sex acts.

[Tara]

Oh, the Larry Bird certainly is the Carl Malone. Oh, boy.

[Pam]

Ooh, we're at two. Can you guys do another one?

[Tara]

She slubbed on that thing to like Charles Barkley. That one. Was he on the team?

[Dave]

He really likes them. Scottie Pippens.

[Pam]

Charles Barkley was. Charles Barkley was. And Scottie Pippen was as well.

[Dave]

What about Snake Plissken?

[Pam]

Is that a grand. Is that from.

[Dave]

He's a famous basketball player.

[Tara]

Oh, okay. Put up your other hand. Long dawning silver.

[Pam]

Yes.

[Tara]

Cubic hair on a Coke?

[Pam]

Yes. I'm out. Talked a lot about large breasted women.

[Tara]

Oh, sure.

[Pam]

Asked her out a lot. Way to go, you guys. You sports more than you grossed. I'm really proud of you both.

[Tara]

Great.

[Dave]

All right.

[Pam]

Yes. It's time to.

[Dave]

What is that? Wait a sec. Did I forget to say yes this time, too? In the last episode. Did we not have a listen?

[Pam]

Yeah, no, she and I just went listen to Sassy, I guess.

[Dave]

Okay, great. Thank you.

[Tara]

It's fine. September 1991.

[Dave]

Going back to school?

[Tara]

We sure are. And the spine line is cooties. But who cares about the spine line when we have a scandal on the

[Dave]

COVID Tara had to buy two copies of this magazine because the first one was missing pages. We have two copies, and they look quite different on the COVID One is whiter, one is redder. Like there's more reds in the face. So at first we just sort of figured it was a different print run or whatever. Maybe one was newsstand, the other was subscription or something like that. But the lips on the lighter one are substantially different than the alternative. In one, she's wearing no lipstick or very subtle lipstick. And then in this one, she is wearing kind of hot pinkish lipstick. And I believe it's been drawn in because there is a point in the lipstick where you can see a square where it's not there. And then if you zoom in, there's little bits of lipstick on her bottom teeth as well as areas where it is uneven in a way that kind of feels like they were drawing on top of it. And there's also one line on the left side that absolutely looks like a magic marker or something. Like it is just, like, of uniform thickness and incredibly straight. So I think at some point they decided to augment this model's lips and try to make it look like there's lipstick. I don't know how the process would be that they ended up with two different pieces of art. You know, it could have been that somebody at the last minute had a panic attack and made a red gel for this, like a mask that didn't make it to one of the printings or something. But I was really surprised that they actually did that back then.

[Tara]

The shot on About Face inside is better. Like, it's cuter. But it also supports Dave's theory that the lips were colored later. Because in the inset picture on the About Face page, she doesn't have lip color on.

[Dave]

When you guys started listening to listen to sassy, were you expecting forensic lipstick chatter?

[Pam]

I'll contact Amy Turner with this. I'll send her as an art on the art team.

[Tara]

That's true.

[Pam]

She might know she can solve this.

[Tara]

Yeah, Tell her to call in conspiracy

[Pam]

theory board that Dave's got up behind him. You guys can't see it, but it is intense.

[Dave]

I don't know what the alternative explanation would be. So if there is one, I would be interested in it.

[Tara]

Feature number one is why you should lose sleep over farming. It is by Karen. She starts out with a little sort of, why would I even think about farming when I could be thinking about random Other things. And the example that she brings up is on the totem pole of job prestige. Farmers fall somewhere just above the people who put plastic tips on the end of shoelaces. Those have a name. Okay.

[Dave]

Oh, what are they?

[Pam]

Aglets.

[Tara]

I knew Pam would know. I knew it. Aglets.

[Dave]

Aglets. That sounds like a Harry Potter elf.

[Pam]

Sorry. Totally. Like, like Jeopardy. Buttoned aglets. Like you didn't even get. You didn't even get the glory. I'm so sorry.

[Tara]

No, that's fine. I knew you would know I was setting you up to say it and show how smart you are. I learned that from the book of lists when I was a kid.

[Pam]

I probably did too.

[Tara]

Oh, the book of lists. Anyway, this article is not very well done. She of the forces that are stopping people from doing family farming the way they did in the 60s when, you know, times are fat and everyone was making tons of money.

[Dave]

All right, let me guess. It's boring. You can just get food at the grocery store instead.

[Tara]

Sure. She says drought.

[Dave]

It took too long for that laugh, frankly.

[Tara]

She listed droughts, floods, freezes, the wipeout, entire harvests, any number of crop destroying pets, and economic depressions. Sure. But now there are also new problems. Like ridiculous trade policies. Definitely ever hungry land developers. Sure. And sometimes heavy handed environmentalists. Like, putting the environmentalists on the same tier as these other forces is really revealing her ignorance. Like I would bet sometimes heavy handed environmentalists are not actually ruin anyone's livelihood as much as those other two things are. And B, environmentalists are right about safeguarding groundwater and being alarmed about pesticides and so on. Like read a book or travel to the future and watch Aaron Brockvich.

[Dave]

You say that, but when's the last time you woke up covered in aphids?

[Tara]

Tuesday. She also later complains like everyone's being too mean to us about our pesticide use. We have to switch. And because just because like 200 or 300 ducks died, it was like, that seems very alarming to me. Yes, you should be concerned probably. What is killing ducks is not great for people or other organisms in your ecosystem. Like I would think farmers should care about that. But anyway, these farmers are maybe not the best examples to speak for their citizen class.

[Pam]

One of the daughters of the farm, Heidi, seemed the least interested in farming until she amazed everyone within a 10 mile radius by marrying a rice farmer this year. I think people were surprised because growing up I always said I wanted to be a teacher in an inner city school. School, says Heidi, who just got her bachelor's degree and will soon be student teaching. That is until I went to the inner city full stop. Then just like moves on to how great it is to be married to a farmer because you get up with him in the middle of the night to help him farm. Which is like a married. Married to a farmer is a whole thing.

[Dave]

And I'm like, yeah, you don't have to be lonely.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Tara]

The times I know that you didn't read the article and were just like, I got a farmer's only joke all locked.

[Pam]

I read it.

[Dave]

I can say something with the article right now.

[Tara]

Great.

[Dave]

How the most 1991 thing there is complaining about the price of a 16 compact disc.

[Tara]

Yeah. Then right on the. On the jump lines. That paragraph is all explaining agricultural subsidies. And I would just love to know the percentage of readers who got there and were like, well, I'm done with this.

[Pam]

Yes, math. It was, myself included. I was like, this is long. This is still going on.

[Tara]

Very granular.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Tara]

Anyway, the last paragraph is like, well, what can you do? Person who doesn't live on a farm and she lives a bunch of things, but buying organic produce is not one of them. So this was not a. Not a very well researched article. Did not speak to any of these supposed environmentalists who are threatening these farmers careers. So not Karen's best work.

[Pam]

They were like, organic farming. I don't know. Seems weird. We'll see if anyone is interested soon.

[Tara]

Yeah, bring back Catherine. She was the one who used to do stories like this. Feature number two.

[Pam]

Popular people are as insecure as you. And other reasons. Fabulosity is vastly overrated. This one's written by kids, Kim. They're hanging out on the school's front steps looking like they own the place. But does that make them happy? I think not. So this is a bunch of reasons why you. You don't want to be popular. It's a very sassy article. Hey, you're sitting at home with your magazine and that's cooler than anyone out doing things. Don't you worry. Adulthood is coming.

[Tara]

I mean, it's true. I would say the answer to all of this is just go to an art school. That brand of popularity did not exist at the one I went to. And all of the people were like, actually in the biggest clique and had the most friends, were total freaks and weirdos and didn't pay attention to the people that were trying to like, make prevailing John Hughes popularity happen. It's just like, well, do what you want, whatever.

[Dave]

We'll be here listening to the Cure.

[Tara]

We were yeah. Risking major ostracization. That paragraph about why popularity is bad. That's true. And that happened to me at my first high school before I went to the art school. So I'm sure everyone who was a girl in high school or living as one but had story.

[Dave]

But keep in mind, you're hard to get along with.

[Tara]

Well, I wasn't then.

[Pam]

She also makes you do everything she does, like be in my podcast. Be in all of them, Dave.

[Dave]

Yeah,

[Pam]

live. Live in my house.

[Tara]

Roast me vegetables.

[Pam]

My dog,

[Dave]

roast me vegetables like he used to do when we first met.

[Tara]

It also makes me sound like I might be a pirate. Roast me vegetables, matey.

[Pam]

Be careful, Dave. You don't have to be in this clique if you don't want to.

[Tara]

Yes, he does.

[Pam]

If you're feeling lonely, you might have been isolated by a popular girl.

[Tara]

Don't try joining farmers only, Dave. You would hate it.

[Dave]

I always knew my place in high school, and it was at the bottom of the totem pole. And frankly, as long as nobody was paying attention to me, I was fine with it.

[Tara]

Yeah. When you write your time period movie, Pam, you should include that. The most important thing I wish I'd known then is how unimportant all of this shit is.

[Dave]

Can you put something in there about Tara never taking out tampons? Just put that in the movie somewhere.

[Pam]

You know I will. That's actually what it's all about. Yeah. It's just. I'm gonna get sponsored by Tampax.

[Dave]

Yeah. Yeah. At the end of the movie, she has so many. When she open her mouth, she fires them out like bullets.

[Tara]

Yes.

[Pam]

The end of Carry. It's just.

[Dave]

That's how she saves the day. Oh, no. She got a tampon. Gatling gun.

[Tara]

Oh, my God, it's back. I'm being bullied again.

[Pam]

No. And also, nobody even knows what we're talking about.

[Dave]

It's not bullying if it's true and

[Tara]

just people don't know it is.

[Dave]

It's like a sprinkler.

[Pam]

She's toxic. Shocking. Here at the end, Kim says, look, a lot of uncool people later became super cool, like Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder and Thurston Moore from Sonic Youth. Jim Morrison, Ice T. And I was like, what? Wow, we really went out.

[Dave]

Quality's dropping more.

[Pam]

We go ice tea. And then their reach for. You don't want to be like, this person is. Vanna White says she was popular like that. Vanna White was the oldest woman you saw on TV when you were reading Sassy.

[Tara]

Yes.

[Pam]

Be Like Ice T and not Vanna White. Peace out. Yeah.

[Alex Kanchowitz]

Hi, this is Alex Canceroitz. I'm the host of Big Technology Podcast, a longtime reporter and an on air contributor to cnbc. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI technology and outsiders trying to influence it, asking where this is all going. They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon, and plenty more. So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, in meetings with your colleagues and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

[Dave]

Hey, I'm Josh Spiegel, host of the podcast Lunatic in the Newsroom. If you enjoy journalism that drifts into mild panic, wild overthinking, and a guaranteed nervous breakdown, Lunatic in the Newsroom is for you. It's news like you've never heard before. The only newsroom with a panic button. You'll laugh, you'll cry and gasp in horror as the show spirals completely out of control. It's not just news, it's emotionally unstable. Lunatic in the Newsroom. Listen today.

[Alex Kanchowitz]

Hi, this is Alex Kanchowitz. I'm the host of Big Technology Podcast, a longtime reporter and an on air contributor to cnbc. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is. Is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it, asking where this is all going. They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon, and plenty more. So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, in meetings with your colleagues and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology Podcast. Wherever you get your podcasts,

[Pam]

Let me hear about it.

[Dave]

Hello.

[Tara]

Oh, my God. My body's French.

[Dave]

My children need wine.

[Tara]

There is a possibility that certain spices can help diabetics. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Those spices include cinnamon, apple pie, spice. I think that's probably something else. Turmeric, cloves, and bay leaves all appear to have three times insulin's ability to break down blood sugar. So there could be a cool alternative to all those awful needles. Soon the test will go from tubes to humans. And we'll keep you all posted on further developments. Well, pretty sure people are still using insulin 35 years later, so I guess this did not work out.

[Dave]

You know the spice I would use?

[Tara]

Old sassafrasafras.

[Dave]

Oh, a baked potato loses 60% of its vitamin C if left to stand for one hour after cooking. Fucking eat it quick, God damn it.

[Pam]

Honestly. Honestly, this thing made me so mad. But then I just had to, like, figure out how they even came up with this dumb stat.

[Tara]

Who's baking a potato and letting it sit for an hour?

[Dave]

I know how you like them cold.

[Pam]

I love to. I love to make a potato and then wait until it's cool enough to touch that tin foil, which is about an hour.

[Dave]

I like cheese on top of my baked potato, but I always want it still shredded. I don't like when cheese melts.

[Pam]

I did learn through this that steaming a baked potato in your. In your everyday steamer container is a baked potato to bake your potato.

[Dave]

You right there in the name.

[Pam]

We don't eat steamed potatoes. That's the thing where you put your wife's head under the covers and you fart on her. We all know that.

[Dave]

Dutch oven.

[Pam]

That's how you make steamed potatoes. That's what comes out in your Dutch oven. I don't know what's going on here.

[Dave]

Anyway. Steam potatoes.

[Pam]

Oh, my God. So you put the whole potato in the little microwave steamy pot and it cooks up in like four minutes. You don't have to boil it for 20 and then cool it off for twice. Blanch it, or any of this shit turns out really good for you. Keep the skins on. But a baked potato loses 5% of its vitamin C every 30 minutes. So this stat's just wildly wrong. Okay, but. But this Alibaba page that I went to about it is treating the vitamin C value of the potato like you are trying to disarm a bomb. It is like, listen, take the potato, put it over here. It goes into such specifics that, like, here's why you don't want to. Here's. It's not just for.

[Tara]

Oh, my God, get off the mic.

[Pam]

It says I was fine. It says first you got to pick them out, right? Then it's you're an action plan. A step by step guide to maximize vitamin C retention. Follow the sequence for every potato dish. To lock in max vitamin C, you have to select that's vitamin. That's number one, two, store, three, prep. Then it goes into, like, never wash before storage limit, cut exposure, like, intense. So if you go to this link, beware, it'll give you anxiety.

[Tara]

Next, they're talking about getting whiter teeth. Whether it's worth doing, getting veneers or getting your teeth whitened or whatever. And the last line is, whatever you do Resist the urge to buy one of those over the counter bleaching kits. The jury's still out on whether or not they're safe. I guess everyone who was supposed to be turning spices into alternative insulin was seconded to work on teeth whitening kits, because now they are everywhere.

[Dave]

Yeah, but the problem with those is they lose 60% of their effectiveness after one hour.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Tara]

Finally, if you have a blister that's smaller than a nickel, don't pop it. Just cover it with a bandage, and your skin will absorb the liquid on its own. Yum. First of all, gross. Second, don't tell me what to do if I have a blister, I am popping it. End of story.

[Pam]

No, this is true.

[Dave]

That's how the blister juice gets in your brain. If you like it reabsorbed. And then you're like. It's like, what's. What's the cat thing? Toxo.

[Tara]

Toxoplasmosis.

[Dave]

Yeah, it's like that for blisters. You're like, ah, what do I need to do in my life that makes the blisters life easier? I'm gonna feed my blister cat food. What?

[Pam]

You can get infections.

[Dave]

Just put a band aid over it, Put some diosporin on it and band aid. I don't want to walk on a blister.

[Pam]

After you've popped it. It's all raw. It can get. Oh, you just put.

[Dave]

You just get the smallest of pins, you put the smallest of hole in it, then you squeeze it to see how high the blister juice can get. Gross, 4 inches.

[Pam]

All right, This month's what he Said asks Jason London, 16, do you ever cry? The response here from boys, 90% said yes and 10% said no. And I suppose that's refreshing. But when you read these defensive statements from all these boys that I guess said yes, they're like. But not really. Not like. Not when it. Only when it was like, cool.

[Tara]

But not in a girly way.

[Pam]

Not in a girly way. You know, I was lifting weights at the time. Did I already tell the story of asking Jason if he cries on this podcast?

[Tara]

I don't think so.

[Pam]

All right, get ready.

[Dave]

Cry's tears of pure protein.

[Tara]

To be clear, you're talking about Jason, your husband, not Jason London.

[Pam]

We can. Who knows it. You don't know my husband's last name. It's nighttime. Everybody's reading books in bed as you do, and I'm reading something. Doesn't matter, but it makes me turn to my husband. Jason. And I ask, do you ever cry when you're alone? And I ask this because I've only seen him cry twice until the pit came out, and I've now seen him cry six times. It is purely at and about the pit.

[Tara]

Okay.

[Pam]

I mean, it's also, like, what it's doing to him internally. And we're all, like, happy that he's found a source of pulling out feelings. But.

[Tara]

Okay, well, let's circle back to the pit. Cause I need to know what incidents made him cry, but go ahead.

[Dave]

Yeah. Should we guess the other two when

[Tara]

your child was born?

[Dave]

I have one guess. Really complicated excel sheet, didn't work out the way he wanted.

[Pam]

No, that's fine.

[Dave]

I'm out of guesses.

[Pam]

Whitney Houston singing at the Super Bowl. Wow, that's a. And some sort of Star wars moment when Han Solo comes in and says, I got you, kid. That's a. Woo hoo.

[Dave]

Wow.

[Pam]

And the other two are like legit sad moments. One was like. It turned out I was just thinking about it today. I had to tell him that the surgery found that he had a bone infection in his spine and he was gonna need several months of antibiotic IV treatments that we were going to be doing at home. And he was in a neck brace and one small quiet tear went down his cheek. And I was like, this is the most devastating thing I've ever done to him. But today when I told him that, he goes, I don't remember that.

[Tara]

So are you sure it was a tear and not spinal fluid? Because I remember when George Clooney hurt himself, it was coming out of his nose. Oh, God.

[Pam]

Well, it might have been spinal fluid.

[Tara]

Okay. The pit moments, was it when.

[Dave]

Oh, yeah. Was one of them when the Earl of sandwiches. Earl couldn't get a protein filled sandwich because they ran out.

[Tara]

Was one of them when the guy was shitting into.

[Pam]

Yeah.

[Tara]

Was it to a dustpan?

[Dave]

Yeah. Was it?

[Pam]

No. No.

[Dave]

Was it. Was it when the rats came out of the Unhoused Guy?

[Tara]

That was a movie. No.

[Pam]

Okay. No, no. All legit, like, very sad. Family members dying.

[Tara]

Okay.

[Pam]

Anyway, so I turned to him and this is all before the pit, but I turned to him and say, do you ever cry when you're alone? And he says, what are you talking about? And I said, when. When you by yourself, do you ever cry? I just. Maybe he didn't hear me. And he goes, why would I do that? And he said, is it. Did. What am I? Tears are performative.

[Tara]

That's what.

[Pam]

And then I sat up and I

[Dave]

said, time for a steamed potato.

[Pam]

And I said, what do you mean tears are performative? And he said, look it up. We were, like, the only ones who do it. It's fake. It's to make people pay attention to us.

[Dave]

And I said, oh, no, he's a psychopath.

[Pam]

I said, hey, you look it up. Because also, I'm pretty sure you were born crying. So I'd like to know. Then I had a small tear going down my face. Yeah. When did you learn it didn't work anymore. Oh, because what? So also, it's very disclaimer. This man is Southern to the core, raised by some Southern people, and they probably just Southerned it right out of him. And he continues to work on this. That's why we watch the Pit. And he's doing better. But tears of performative made me know. Oh, when I cry, you think, what's this all about? What's this coming at me, this performance?

[Tara]

Right?

[Pam]

Which, by the way, is also what my parents said, too, when I was a teenager and crying. So I'm used to the reaction.

[Tara]

I think a certain kind of parent is gonna say that to a certain kind of kid.

[Pam]

Anyway. These boys are like, I'm not a crier, but I did cry when my grandma died, and I did cry when I had a big fight with my girlfriend, but she started crying first. Don's like, I might have shed a tear in April or March of last year. I got my finger caught in a door. David, 20, I was at a camp counselor for sixth graders. We studied plants and went on nature walks. When we said goodbye to the kids, I cried. David, you win. David also said he can imagine crying if he broke up with his girlfriend, but he's never cried over a girl because he's never been in love before. So I think maybe, hopefully he doesn't have a girlfriend either. Or. What a weird way to find out your boyfriend doesn't love you. And then Tobias says, the last time I really cried was when my girlfriend was going out with another guy and didn't want to break up with either of us. Yeeks. P.S. the girl chose Tobias.

[Dave]

Help. Help. Help. Help.

[Tara]

Help.

[Dave]

Help. Pam, find the page.

[Tara]

Help. Speaking of Jason, I think that's what we're about to hear about with dipping. Mystery solved.

[Pam]

You are absolutely gonna hear more Jason stories with dipping. Mystery solved. My boyfriend recently confided in me that he and his friends dip. They get a slight buzz from it. Exactly what is dipping and what does it do to you? Signed, Anonymous. I knew what dipping was before I met this man and dated him, but because it's gross. And boys who dip would always have these like. Like cans of Coke they were spitting their dip in, and then they'd leave it in the bus, and it would spill on you wet, gross ashtray of spit. And it's so gross. So gross. Dipping is so gross.

[Dave]

It sounds like a private spittoon.

[Pam]

So despite all this, I still dated a guy who was like, it's not dipping, says Jason. These are snus. So he had the little packets, right? So it's not raw tobacco under there, but instead the. The dip is a little thing. And this went on forever until the baby was toddling into the room, and she was just wearing a little diaper and she toddled in, so she had to have been not. Maybe two. Not two. She wasn't chatty much. So young. Young enough to be toddling. Takes her harmonica box, pretends to pull something out of her mouth, opens the harmonica box, puts that in it, snaps it, tucks it into the back of her diaper, and then toddles away. And I. And I called Jason, and I said, the baby just dipped, and she looks so fucking cool.

[Tara]

I don't know what to do about it.

[Pam]

She looked so cool. Like, she just came out, gave me eyes, and was like, what's up? Flip into the back. And then waddled back to her room.

[Dave]

Does she still dip?

[Pam]

She does not. She does not still dip.

[Dave]

Good for her. Quitting is the hardest thing she'll ever do.

[Pam]

That is when Jason stopped dipping, because he was like, all right, that's a good idea. And he moved into other things for a while, but now he is truly tobacco free.

[Tara]

I learned a lot. Everything I know about dip or Zinn or snus is from GQ and the New Yorker. That tells you what kind of a square I am.

[Dave]

Oh, yeah, I got you beat. I didn't know what dipping was, and my first thought was lick em sticks.

[Pam]

Oh, you didn't know what dipping was? Aw, that's so cute. That's true. The answer would be a little lick of stuff.

[Tara]

We don't come from dip culture.

[Dave]

Yeah, I. I don't associate myself with the type of folks that would dip.

[Pam]

How long have you been living in Texas?

[Tara]

Oh, you know what it is around you, Dave?

[Pam]

It's because.

[Tara]

It's because in Canada, we call it flarning.

[Dave]

Yes. Oh, flarning. Okay. We used to flarn next to the Snevin.

[Pam]

Yeah. We call it mouthbacky.

[Dave]

Yeah, the old Slurpee Hut.

[Tara]

Stifling parents I've passed that age where you start drifting away from your parents and you're not as close as you used to be. But my parents don't see it. They have made the strictest rules, and I can't take it anymore. They picked my friends. Can someone help me? This is serious. I'm saving up to run away. Signed, runaway, question mark. So they have, you know, a bunch of solutions of do this or that to show your parents that you're trustworthy, let them meet your friends and so on. And then if none of that works, speak with a guidance counselor or another adult your parents respect and have them present your case. Your parents could be the type who will only listen to another adult. Yeah, call your guidance counselor and have them call your parents and tell them they're too uptight. That'll work.

[Dave]

Ring, ring, ring, ring. Hello? This is your son or daughter's guys, counselor. You guys suck. What?

[Pam]

They're like. They're like, oh, my God. We're just trying to get her to, like, loosen the up. Like, what?

[Tara]

This is crazy.

[Pam]

We just wanted her to make a friend. She only reads.

[Dave]

You know, what if, as a parent, short circuited this whole runaway thing by giving allowance, which I imagine is this person's main source of income at this point in time in family bucks, only redeemable for family things.

[Tara]

Smart.

[Dave]

Thank you.

[Pam]

This is good.

[Dave]

Yeah, you can take that. Pam, put it in your movie.

[Pam]

I am going to do it because. Not put it in your movie, just any movie, because I did recently, you know, this generation has a hard time sitting for things that are longer than 30 minutes. And I said, what if I pay you to watch movies with me? And she said, how much? And I said, it's film dependent because some of them really, I should probably pay you for the longer ones that are good for you. But she's like, I'm into this. Like, I think it's time for her to see, like, Heather's, but she's not gonna sit down.

[Tara]

Heather's is like 89 minutes. I'm sure.

[Pam]

I know. So that's not gonna be a lot of money.

[Tara]

Oh, okay. But that's what I mean. Which ones are you saying are cost

[Pam]

more because they're good for her?

[Tara]

What are you gonna make her watch?

[Pam]

That's a great question. I could just see it. Well, I watched a lot of documentaries and I watched a lot of things where I'm like, you should watch this with me.

[Tara]

Yeah, I'm just imagining you sitting her down for, like, Gandhi.

[Pam]

No, no, no. I wouldn't say like that.

[Dave]

You are trying to cure the bad habit of a short attention span by giving your child money. Okay, great.

[Tara]

Well, she has a way of earning it. She's a kid.

[Pam]

Yeah, she hasn't taken me up on it yet. She hasn't. 15 bucks bad enough to sit down and watch. Well, I don't. What do you think? Five? What do you mean, 25? I can't tell what the outrage is.

[Tara]

That seems high. But, you know, I'm basing that on what I used to make babysitting again 35 years ago, so why not, right?

[Dave]

An actual work item. Babysitting.

[Tara]

Yes.

[Dave]

Okay. It's $15 a night. 20 if I have to watch a movie.

[Pam]

What are you talking about? Family bucks. Isn't this exactly what you mean? Like, we're trying to get her to sit down and do anything with this? I. You know, I got a taskmaster the. The board game. I've. Nobody will play this with me yet, because nobody wants to play games with me.

[Dave]

I'm so lonely. Here's the money.

[Pam]

Have some money, will you? Will you? I'll buy you popcorn.

[Tara]

Pam, come over. We have taskmaster the game. We haven't played it yet either. We'll play it with you. Dave is rethinking everything.

[Dave]

Yeah, but aren't you worried that you're creating, like, sort of the system where even smaller tasks. She'll want an amount of money. Yeah, like, this task is worth a third of a movie. Like, what gives you a hug?

[Tara]

And she's like, I'll throw you that one for a buck.

[Dave]

Here's a glass of water, Mom. 250, please.

[Pam]

No, she has an allowance, and when she doesn't do these chores, she doesn't get the allowance. And some of the allowance goes to stock and savings and stuff like that. Like, she's just.

[Dave]

Your kid has a portfolio.

[Pam]

Yeah, but, like, she wants 20 bucks to, like, buy more Roblox. Roblox and stuff. And I'm like, well, let's see what you can do for that.

[Dave]

All right.

[Tara]

I don't know.

[Pam]

Maybe I'm. But 720. Sassy.

[Dave]

Go.

[Pam]

Everybody pays their kids. Spend time with them, right?

[Dave]

Stop listening. Tara, if we just sort of, like, ignore Pam for a while and maybe, like, two, three weeks. So then we called her up, said, you want to do the pod? And she's like, what are we doing with the podcast? We're like, I don't know. We're busy, and just hold out to see if she'll pay us to do the podcast.

[Pam]

With her, I mean, I basically do.

[Tara]

She doesn't get paid that much to do.

[Dave]

Nobody gets paid that much to do this.

[Tara]

I know.

[Dave]

I don't even think we're making minimum wage doing this.

[Pam]

I don't think so either.

[Dave]

That's so much fucking work for so little money.

[Pam]

But it is the most consistent income I've had my entire career. You two are my most consistent employers.

[Dave]

And for this service, we will only charge you $50.

[Tara]

Listen to sassy.com club. Get in the club.

[Pam]

It's true.

[Tara]

You used to pay me to watch tv.

[Pam]

That's how we met

[Tara]

Pam. What's going on with hepatitis?

[Dave]

Yeah, what's going on with hepatitis?

[Pam]

Well, so this. This lady, a girl was like, hey. The local blood drive told me I tested positive for the antibody of non A, non B hepatitis. They said, I don't have it, but at one time was exposed and I'm now immune.

[Tara]

What is it?

[Pam]

How did I get it and how can I transmit it? I did not remember non A, non B hepatitis. These days we call it C and sometimes E. But they also were like, yeah, this is weird. There's this other hepatitis. When you click on this link I found, they're like. It's a fascinating medical mystery how we discovered that some people had hepatitis, but not the hepatitis, the hepatitis that they were familiar with before.

[Tara]

Some people have hepaloosis, different hepa lumps.

[Dave]

Does anybody have words where just for the smallest of a fraction of seconds, you have to remember which one of those it is every time. Hepatitis and halitosis for the smallest of margins. I'm like, we're talking about breath or livers. Oh, yeah, liver. This is a liver, Dave. Don't talk about breath.

[Tara]

Narcolepsy and necrophilia were two of those for me for a long time.

[Dave]

Don't want to mix those up, guys.

[Tara]

You sure do.

[Pam]

It was a while before Tara and Dave were sure they were having safe sex with each other.

[Dave]

This corpse I'm fucking has terrible breath,

[Pam]

but a liver to die for.

[Tara]

Dave.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Tara]

Bring us home.

[Dave]

All right. Frequent peers club.

[Tara]

Guilty.

[Dave]

I find lately that I pee a lot. Sometimes I'll finish peeing and I feel like I have to go again or I know there's more, but it just won't come out. Can this lead to urinary incontinence later? What can I do now? Signed, always pee before I go to bed. I mean, this letter might have been written by a 50 year old dude.

[Tara]

Sure.

[Dave]

Posing. Because this is my life.

[Tara]

Yeah. Always pee before bed. I usually pee twice before bed.

[Dave]

The only thing they're missing is after you go pee, does it dribble out for a while and you can't control it? Yeah, that too. Look forward to that. This has been Dave P. Talk. Nervous bladder is a term they bring up, which is great. I'm gonna start using that. Oh, I don't know.

[Pam]

Jason said all you have to do is stop drinking fluids three hours before you go to bed. I was like, what is. That's like three in the afternoon. I can't live like this.

[Dave]

I drink lots of water before I go to bed, so I'm ready for the morning raid.

[Pam]

I drink through the night, I get up to pee, I drink some more, I go back to sleep. I get up, I pee, I drink, I go back to sleep. We have to stay hydrated. We don't have time for this. Yeah, hydration is a 24 hour job.

[Dave]

Stuff you wrote. First one comes from Jennifer Elliott, New Albany. Ooh, there's a New Albany, New Albany, Indiana, titled I think I'll Buy Spam. I just genuinely enjoyed this one and it's somewhere in the realm of poetry, but I choose just to read it as here's something I saw. Pausing at the meat counter, I found the cellophane wrap ground beef. It was a very strange shade of red, displayed with much care on the bright green Astroturf counter. Then I saw the young girl with the brown tangled hair poking her small grimy finger through the plastic wrap and into the ground beef, keep making mooing sounds while she worked. I don't know, I just enjoyed it. Moo, moo, moo. That's something that I could see happening at a grocery store. And now we got a little poem out of it.

[Pam]

Here we have four Debbie. And that is spelled, that is dot, dot, lowercase f, upper O, lower R, lower D, big E, little B, big B, little I. So you know a boy wrote this. It says, I saw your arms fold in their usual praying way. It had to be real, you said, and we knew by the way the carriage smelled. We held the laughter close and threw the thistles across the floor. You smiled with your head in the usual way and knocked at too many doors, sprinkled sunsets across my brow and straightened your gaze to look firmly at my doubts. I looked down while you looked about your wrinkled clothes, so settled and content semicolon. I saw how you filled them, how they danced across your skin. So now we're sitting in our usual way with your back to the wall and eyes toward the Heavens. I nod and you smile in your usual delightful way. Now, if any boy wrote this to me, I would have been all over. Rich Rowski of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Rich is a one to watch. He became a caricature artist at Idlewild, went to the Art Institute of Pittsburgh. Thank you. Was one of the first Photoshop gurus. Sources cited Needed move to Tucson. Did the graphics for Tucson Roller Derby and Pacific Roller Derby. Featured on an episode of Hawaii 5o. In 2015, he was a skate park supervisor at the local Y. He currently is still making a lot of tits and butts drawings on Roller Derby. You can find him at Sticker Slam and he also has a personal website. So just making the art. Making a lot of poster art. A lot of pinup girls.

[Dave]

Lines four and five. And we knew by the way the carriage smelled. Or yeah, we knew by the way the carrot smelled. We knew by the way by the way the carrot smelled. We knew by the way the carrot smelled.

[Pam]

We knew.

[Tara]

I don't.

[Pam]

It had to be real. And we knew by the way the carrots felt. I don't understand what happened there. What happened there at all. I don't. What thistles crossed the floor. Like, none of this is. I don't know what's going on.

[Dave]

I think somebody took a shit in the carriage.

[Pam]

Oh, well.

[Dave]

What?

[Pam]

Thistles?

[Dave]

Real world Steamed potato.

[Pam]

I think these two did drugs together. And I would not have understood this. I think this is drugs. Margaret says, what are male ladybugs called? She's from Muncie, Indiana. And the answer is. Can I guess?

[Dave]

Yeah, man. Bugs.

[Pam]

Do you want to guess again?

[Dave]

Pro bugs.

[Pam]

You're closer.

[Dave]

I know what they're called.

[Pam]

What are they called?

[Dave]

Well, I know why they're called ladybugs. Sorry, I don't actually know what the male. If there's a separate male one. But I actually did know this little trivia bit.

[Pam]

But why are they called ladybugs, Dave?

[Dave]

Well, it's like. Oh, they mean, like. No, but like, the full name is like, Beetle of the lady, and it's about the Virgin Mary or something like that.

[Pam]

It is about the Virgin Mary. Male ladybugs are also called Cock in a Day. Cockanella Day, Cock Inelli Day. Which.

[Dave]

It keeps the Doctor away.

[Pam]

Ladybugs are cocking Ellie days.

[Dave]

Or maybe it keeps the Doctor at your house. I don't know what the Doctor's into.

[Pam]

Amy asks, how can they possibly know that no two snowflakes are alike? Guess what? No two snowflakes are alike. Because no two snowflakes Take the exact same path through the sky. That's stuff science wrote. Katherine Matzig down here says. A liquid whisper, Sleepy black eyes, a splash of laughter. Bronzed boy, persistently bored, smiles knowingly, an insider sworn to silence. Anyway, I looked up Katherine, who is Canadian. Hit it, Dave. Catherine these days works in mental health.

[Dave]

We can't hear you over the docs ham, Pam.

[Pam]

That's not my. That's not my problem. You have a volume button it. Catherine works in mental health and I only put this here. She won a check from a place called Buttcon. All claps, all caps.

[Tara]

Okay, Buttcon.

[Pam]

Is it Canadian again? If you click it, it's funny. It says Buttcon. That's it.

[Dave]

That's for me and Tara. Bet.

[Pam]

Yeah. Next time, do you have halitosis? Because I'm not seeing dead people at the buttcon.

[Dave]

The last word in dating.

[Tara]

Next time. Next time we'll be talking about the pop culture topics of the September 1991 issue. Find out what Sassy's critics thought of Boyz n the Hood and the new Violent Femmes album Play with Beverly Hills 90210. Paper dolls, an unwelcome magazine fixture returns and more for my plug this week. You can now read the whole season's worth of my recaps of the most 90s 90s show that ever there was. Love Story, Colon, John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carolyn Bessette. Those are at Decider. Check them out. Don't tell Daryl Hannah she's mad.

[Dave]

All right. You can follow Tara on Blue sky. She [e-mail] you can follow Pamela Ribbon on Instagram where she posts photos of her child dipping.

[Pam]

No, I do not. 720sassy go is where you can leave us a voicemail about the show or the magazine. We can play it on a future episode. If you go to listen to sassy.com you can find out more information, links to our visual aids and contact info for us in case Dave talked too quickly for you. And speaking of our website, we'll be taking the September 1991 quiz in a couple of weeks, but you can take it now. It's up there at. Listen to sassy.com find out. Are you school phobic? Gosh, I wonder how this group's gonna do. Call us at 7:20, sassy go and let us know how you. You did. Of course you will, you nerd. We can't wait to find out how

[Tara]

you scored on another test.

[Pam]

Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next time.

[Tara]

Bye.

[Dave]

Bye. Who else was big here? Is this pre or post? No.

[Tara]

Yeah. That's a good question.

[Dave]

And Farmer Something something.

[Tara]

Maestro Fresh West. Remember him?

[Dave]

Maestro Fresh West. Yep.

[Tara]

Pam thinks we're making these up. Some of these we might be. Some of these you might be.

[Dave]

No one will list it below.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Pam]

Lois.

[Dave]

Spirit of the West.

[Pam]

Love them.

[Tara]

Spirit of the west. Sure. The cowboy.

[Dave]

One woman who sings Green Sleeps Cowboy.

[Tara]

Rita McNeil.

[Dave]

Yeah. Huh?

[Tara]

Alanna.

[Pam]

Miles.

[Dave]

Alanis Morissette.

[Tara]

Alanis Morissette.

[Pam]

You're getting closer.

[Dave]

Miles Morissette. When they each went into the fly. Device from the fly. And they combined DNA and it became Miles Morissette. I was really calling.

[Tara]

I think she was still just Alanis then. And Alanis Morissette wasn't until like 94.

[Dave]

Secret knowledge.

[Tara]

Secret Knowledge.

[Dave]

Any other Canadian bands you want to mention?

[Tara]

Tragically Hip. No one's even said them.

[Dave]

Who? The tragically hip 5440.

[Tara]

I said them.

[Dave]

Oh, did you? Sorry.

[Pam]

My God. The Waltons.

[Tara]

They were from Regina.

[Dave]

That was a TV show. What about mash?

[Pam]

My God.

[Dave]

Last tiger really wants to move on.

[Pam]

Lover boy.

[Dave]

Yeah. What bands are from Katy, Texas?

[Pam]

Clint Black.

[Dave]

Don't Care.

[Tara]

I didn't know that.

[Pam]

You guys. The Crash Test Dummies are from.

[Dave]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pam]

Oh.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pam]

Didn't mention Barenaked Ladies.

[Tara]

Bare Naked Ladies, sure.

[Dave]

The voice of a man who's also in a previous life used to be the guy in the under the boat that keeps all the ore people going back and forth.

[Tara]

Did you ever hear an urban legend that that guy's voice was so deep because he had three testicles?

[Pam]

I did. It was a medical grace.

[Dave]

Fantastic.

[Tara]

Yep. Help.

[Dave]

Help.