Stephen Graham Jones, Alex Falcone, and Tropa Magica (REBROADCAST)

Summary

Live Wire with Luke Burbank: Episode Summary Rebroadcasted Episode Featuring Stephen Graham Jones, Alex Falcone, and Tropa Magica | Released April 18, 2025

Introduction In this vibrant episode of Live Wire with Luke Burbank, host Luke Burbank, alongside co-host Elena Passarello, delves into a diverse array of topics by engaging with bestselling horror writer Stephen Graham Jones, comedian and TikTok sensation Alex Falcone, and the eclectic psychedelic cumbia punk band Tropa Magica. Recorded in November 2024 at the Alberta Rose Theater in Portland, Oregon, the episode offers listeners a captivating blend of literary insights, comedic anecdotes, and energetic musical performances.

Stephen Graham Jones on "I Was a Teenage Slasher" [08:03 – 29:01] Stephen Graham Jones, a New York Times bestselling author renowned for his contributions to the horror genre, discusses his latest novel, I Was a Teenage Slasher. The conversation explores the autobiographical elements of the book, which draws from Jones's own experiences growing up in West Texas.

• Background and Inspiration: Jones reflects on his solitary childhood, stating, "I was the only Indian in West Texas, as far as I knew. I had to navigate my identity in a predominantly non-Native environment." ([15:16])

• Horror Genre Insights: Delving into the mechanics of horror storytelling, Jones explains the concept of the "final girl," "She's the antidote to the monster. The final girl puts a cap on the cycle of violence." ([16:11]). He emphasizes that horror serves as a metaphor for real-life fears and anxieties, offering listeners a way to process and confront their own fears through fiction.

• Writing Process: Discussing his prolific writing career, Jones candidly shares his unconventional approach, "I'm more of a binge writer or an opportunistic writer. I sneak away around the corner and put words on the page whenever I can." ([22:34]). This spontaneity contrasts with the disciplined routines often advocated for writers, highlighting his unique creative process.

• Cultural and Musical References: The novel is rich with 1980s hair metal influences, reflecting Jones's deep personal connection to the era's music. He recounts, "The hair metal era is ingrained in me so deeply, I never have to second guess it at all. It's like you scratch me and it just bleeds up Kicks and Cinderella." ([19:37])

Alex Falcone on Aspiring Fatherhood and Comedic Reflections [33:38 – 42:31] Alex Falcone brings his signature humor to Live Wire as he shares his journey toward becoming a father. His candid and comedic narrative offers a relatable glimpse into the challenges and absurdities of trying to conceive.

• Fatherhood Challenges: Falcone humorously describes the frustrations of conception, stating, "I've been trying to get somebody pregnant recently... If you've hit the peak day, there's an 18% chance. And that number was real, by the way, that 18%. That's what she told us." ([25:50]).

• Comedic Observations: He pokes fun at societal expectations and medical terminology, "They call it geriatric pregnancy if you're over 34, which is kind of mean. You already make more money than me, and you make me wait in that little room and roast me." ([31:00]).

• Daily Life and Personal Insights: Falcone discusses his love for jury duty, blending his comedic perspective with personal anecdotes: "The whole premise of jury duty is like, what a fun, powerful feeling. You're bringing in one comedian and 11 retired people. We're gonna get to the bottom of this." ([32:16]).

Audience Interaction: "Grave Situations" [30:27 – 32:42] Live Wire engages with its audience through the interactive game "Grave Situations," where guests Stephen Graham Jones and Alex Falcone evaluate fictional and real-life terrifying scenarios.

• Scenario Evaluations: Jones opts for the unsettling reality of "listening to the news first thing in the morning," deeming it more horrifying than fictional twin girls speaking in unison ([25:50]). Falcone humorously prefers the mundanity of traffic woes, sharing, "I want to die in traffic... Great news for me. I'm not in traffic anymore." ([32:35]).

• Insights on Fear: Jones articulates the therapeutic aspect of horror, asserting, "Horror stories have endings. We like the idea that this horror we're in might have an ending." ([26:18]). This reflects his belief in horror as a means to process and find relief from real-world anxieties.

Tropa Magica: Psychedelic Cumbia Punk Rock Performance [42:31 – 47:53] The episode culminates with a vibrant performance by Tropa Magica, whose music embodies the spirit of 90s East Los Angeles through a fusion of cumbia, punk, and psychedelic influences. Before their set, members share the inspiration behind their song "Alice D Roman":

• Musical Inspiration: “We took a trip down to Mexico City, we went to the pyramids, and somebody gave us two little magical pieces of paper. Colors started swirling all over us, and we heard jaguar sounds and beautiful whistles. That's what inspired this song,” explains band member Renee ([47:07]).

• Cultural Fusion: The band's performance is a celebration of cultural heritage and musical experimentation, creating an immersive auditory experience that resonates with diverse audiences.

Conclusion This episode of Live Wire with Luke Burbank masterfully blends literary discussion, personal storytelling, comedic relief, and musical artistry. Stephen Graham Jones provides deep insights into the horror genre and his creative process, while Alex Falcone delivers relatable humor surrounding the trials of fatherhood. The engaging interaction with the audience underscores the show's community spirit, and Tropa Magica's performance encapsulates the lively and eclectic essence that Live Wire is celebrated for. Whether you're a horror enthusiast, a comedy aficionado, or a music lover, this episode offers something compelling for every listener.

Notable Quotes

• Stephen Graham Jones ([16:11]): "The final girl is like, enough is enough. She's the sole survivor who transforms into a warrior."
• Alex Falcone ([31:00]): "They call it geriatric pregnancy if you're over 34, which is kind of mean... I want to die in traffic."
• Stephen Graham Jones ([26:18]): "Horror stories have endings. We like the idea that this horror we're in might have an ending."

Timestamp Highlights

• 09:23 – Introduction of Stephen Graham Jones
• 16:11 – Explanation of the "final girl" concept
• 19:37 – Discussion on musical influences in his book
• 25:50 – Alex Falcone shares his fatherhood challenges
• 26:18 – Stephen Graham Jones on the therapeutic role of horror
• 31:00 – Alex Falcone on societal terminology in medicine
• 47:07 – Tropa Magica discusses the inspiration behind "Alice D Roman"

Listen to Live Wire with Luke Burbank for more engaging conversations and eclectic musical performances every week.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

Hey there. Welcome to Livewire. I'm your host, Luke Burbank. This week on the show, we are talking to bestselling horror writer Stephen Graham Jones about his latest novel, I Was a Teenage Slasher, which features elements from his actual life growing up in West Texas, like being bullied by the marching band kids, which you don't hear about a lot. And I say this as a former drama kid, which is the only less tough group of people. Then stand up comedian and TikTok sensation Alex Falcone makes his triumphant return to the show where he will talk about trying to become a new father. And then we'll take a trip with the psychedelic cumbia punk rock band Tropa Mahika. Huge congrats if you had that on your bingo card for today as an experience you are going to have in your life. We're going to take a trip together right here on Livewire. Stick around and I'll get started right after this. Livewire is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally irresponsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. This episode of Livewire was originally recorded in November of 2024. We hope you enjoy it. Now let's get to the show from prx.

[Elena Passarello]

It's Livewire.

[Luke Burbank]

This week.

[Elena Passarello]

Author Stephen Graham Jones.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

I've always been a compulsive reader. I have to have to be reading all the time. And that did not help me socially even a little bit.

[Elena Passarello]

But comedian Alex Falcone.

[Alex Falcone]

I think if you die doing something you love, that's worse cause you didn't get to finish that thing you love. That's so sad. I want to die doing something I hate. So at least it's over with.

[Elena Passarello]

Music from Tropa Magica and our fabulous house band. I'm your announcer Elena Passarello. And now the host of Livewire, Luke Burbank.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, thank you so much, Elena Passarello. Thanks to everyone tuning in from all over America for this very special episode of Livewire. It's gonna be a really fun show. All kinds of stuff happening. First though, we gotta start things like we usually do with a little bit of the best news we heard all week. This right here is our little reminder. It's top of the show. There's some good news that happens out there in the world from to time we find it for you and present It. During this segment. Alaina, what is the best news you heard all week?

[Elena Passarello]

This one is so good.

[Luke Burbank]

Right?

[Elena Passarello]

This one involves maybe two of my top 10 favorite things on the planet.

[Luke Burbank]

All right.

[Elena Passarello]

Coffee and dancing. I do both every day, and I'm not even lying.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe you. I often see you backstage at the alberta roast theater drinking coffee, and you enter the stage dancing. It's a whole part of the live show experience.

[Elena Passarello]

I love it. I mean, I think Ellen sort of cornered the market on dancing, but I think we should all be able to do it.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Elena Passarello]

So you can especially do it in middleborough, Massachusetts, right now at the coffee milano cafe. A few days ago, regular patrons to the cafe noticed there was a sign taped to the door that said, if you walk in this door dancing, you're going to get a free coffee. And then they set up a camera facing the door, and then they put the results on TikTok with the permission of the. The patrons, of course. And it's the kind of camera where usually it's like somebody's yelling at a service employee. You know that camera angle?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Elena Passarello]

But instead of that, the door opens, and like, a lady in, like, sweatpants comes in, and she kicks off her shoes and she moonwalks. And then, like, an older guy in a Christmas sweater does that kind of thing, like Hugh grant and love, actually, where he, like, spreads his arms and kind of, like, goes sideways like a crab. A woman comes in holding a baby, but then she grabs the baby's arm, and they kind of two step around, even though she's holding the baby and the baby's like, what this? TikTok, which, by the way, has gotten 8 million views and gotten the coffee Milano Cafe 10,000 followers. It's just clip after clip of people making their entrance into this place by dancing. And it just. I mean, you can see even from this weird bird's eye angle camera, the way that it completely lifts the mood of this already festive place.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like dancing in public is one of those things that can create so much anxiety for folks, and yet no one else cares about your dancing. You know what I mean? In terms of, like, if you're, like, really skilled at it or not. But it's, like, up there with public speaking for some people as, like, something that makes them nervous, but if you incentivize them, you offer them some free coffee.

[Elena Passarello]

But listen to this. It gets better. So this was huge, of course. And then coffee milano cafe was like, hmm, what else can we do? And right in the middle of Thanksgiving season Black Friday has not happened at the time of our recording, but on Black Friday, all these other neighboring businesses are going to be posting their own signs to their doors with their own deals involving dancing. So Middleboro, Massachusetts, is gonna be the dancin est town in New England, possibly the world, this Friday, which is so exciting.

[Luke Burbank]

The best news that I've seen is also bakery related, Elaine, if you can believe that. It's a bakery in Chicago down in kind of the South Shore area called Give Me Some Suga, where this guy named Vemar Hunter, he's 50 years old and he lives in South Shore, and he's been going to this bakery for, like, years. At the age of about 35, Vamar found out that he had been adopted. He didn't know that up until that point, and as can happen for a lot of folks, he sort of became really curious about his birth parents, in particular his birth mother. Just kind of wondering, you know, what was this person like? And just wanted to know a little bit more of his biology and his family history. So he did one of those genetic testing sort of things. And through a series of events after this genetic testing, he was able to basically zero in on who his biological mother was. And it turns out it's a woman named Lenore Lindsay who owns the Give Me Some Sugar bakery that he was going to. The lady at the bakery is his mom.

[Elena Passarello]

He was, like, frequenting this particular bakery and interacting with a woman that he did not know was his biological mother.

[Luke Burbank]

The owner of this bakery was his biological mother. And he had absolutely no idea until he was 50 years old and did this genetic testing. Turns out Lenore had given baby up for adoption when she was 17 years old and had no idea that this guy Vamar, who was coming into the store, was her actual son. And it's crazy because there's a photo of them in this article and they have the exact same nose. Like, if you look at them, you're like, of course this guy is this woman's son. But of course, if you don't have that context, like, if you just been living your life and making food at Gimme Some Sugar Bakery and dealing with the customers, or if you're Vamar in this, if you're the customer, you would never put it together. But this was his mom, and it doesn't stop there. They've now created a relationship, and he and some business partners are now all part of the bakery, like, help out at the bakery, invest in the bakery. His mom, Lenore, had some health stuff that she went through so she couldn't actually operate the bakery, so they stepped in and kept the whole thing running.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Elena Passarello]

Oh, amazing.

[Luke Burbank]

No update on if they got free coffee or not?

[Elena Passarello]

Yeah, well, I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, it's a great story, but does it involve free coffee?

[Elena Passarello]

There needs to be a mother son dance involved. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Elena Passarello]

In order for that to happen.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, Vemar and Lenore being reunited after all those years. That is the best news that I saw this week. All right, let's welcome our first guest on over to the show. He is a New York Times bestselling author and the recipient of such literary awards as the Ray Bradbury Award, the Shirley Jackson Award, and critically, the Bram Stoker Award, which might give you a sense of the vibe of this guy's writing. He's also a professor at the University of Colorado, Boulder. He's authored more than 30 books. How many books have you written, Elena?

[Elena Passarello]

Fewer than 30 books, Luke.

[Luke Burbank]

So, like, together combined? You and I have written however many books you've written. That's the total between the two of us, which falls far under the number that this guy's written.

[Elena Passarello]

10% of that.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. His latest is I Was a Teenage Slasher, which the New York Times says is imbued with a street smart lyricism that makes even the loftiest observations glitter like knife blades. Stephen Graham Jones joined us as part of the Portland Book Festival at the Alberta Rose Theater in Portland, Oregon, to talk about it. Take a listen. Stephen, welcome to Livewire, man.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Thanks for having me.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, I will admit, and this may come up throughout the interview, I am not somebody who's been particularly immersed in the world of horror. And whether it's horror that's written or films. And so I found this book so riveting. I enjoyed it so much, but I learned a lot, including the fact that, like, I just thought the term slasher was like a person with a knife who is doing stabby things. But there's. It's a very specific. There are rules in the genre. Right. Can you kind of lay out some of those rules?

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Yeah. The slasher is generally motivated by some, not just revenge, but a lack of justice. Like they've had a prank visited upon them that has not been punished enough or punished what they think is enough. So they have to go on a killing spree. And they can generally find a class reunion or something like that, a prom.

[Luke Burbank]

I want to be careful that I'm not giving away too much from the book. So, you know, stop me if I get into that territory. But are you Comfortable with me mentioning that Tali Driver is the star of the book, ergo, likely our slasher.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Correct. Yes. Tolly Driver is the I. And I was a teenage slasher.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, so that's kind of right there on the COVID I'm not ruining anything. What's his story exactly? Like in the beginning of the book? Like, who is this dude?

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Tally driver Talley is 17 years old in West Texas in 1989. And oddly enough, I was 17 years old in West Texas in1989. And he's got a best friend, Amber. He and her are kind of outsiders at the school. They don't fit into any of the cliques. They're not in ffa, they're not jocks, they're not popular, they're not rich. But when you stand at the fence outside the party, you kind of develop solidarity with whoever you're standing by. And so they've become close like that. And he goes to a party, and it's a party he's not invited to. He tries to show off how much he can drink, and that goes the predictable way. And he becomes a slasher. He has to get some justice on people. And he doesn't want to, but he has to.

[Luke Burbank]

I think one of the. The book is full of surprises. One of the biggest one is that the bullies at the party are in the marching band.

[Elena Passarello]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And I want to just, I wanna Let you know 80% of this crowd was in marching band.

[Elena Passarello]

Yeah. And the cool kids are the ffa. The farmers are like the hippest dudes in town.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Well, that's the way it was at my school in West Texas. My wife is from Houston and she tells me at her school, FFA people were not cool. And that blows me away because that just doesn't make sense. It doesn't compute. Yeah, I mean, maybe I just thought I was cool. I don't know.

[Elena Passarello]

Were the marching band people bullies in West Texas?

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Well, they weren't bullies, but they kind of strutted around with their big fan feathers and their tall hats, the epaulettes. So, yeah, they made me nervous. They always looked like they were gonna march on me, you know?

[Luke Burbank]

We're talking to Stephen Graham Jones about his latest book, I Was a Teenage Slasher. More questions about La Mesa, Texas, and also hair metal of the era that is featured in the book when we come back. This is Livewire from PRX this week coming to you as part of the Portland Book Festival. Stay with us. We'll be back in just a moment. Special thanks to Our sponsor, Up Up Books, a Portland bookshop specializing in diverse authors, local writers and independent presses. They're located across from Revolution hall in the Buckman neighborhood, and they offer a space for book clubs, workshops, and events. Check out their website and grab a [e-mail] welcome back to Livewire from PRX. I'm Luke Burbank here with Elena Passarello. We are at the Alberta Rose Theater this week as part of the Portland Book Festival. We're talking to Stephen Graham Jones about his latest book, I Was a Teenage Slasher. Let's talk about the setting for the book. Lamisa, Texas. I know you grew up in West Texas. Did you grow up in La Mesa or near it? In Midland? I thought I heard.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Midland is the town I usually claim because it's the biggest one close to where I lived. But really I was in Greenwood, which isn't on the map. It's so little, and Stanton, which is on the map, but it's only 3,000 people, so nobody knows where it is. So Midland is what I claim.

[Luke Burbank]

How do you feel that sort of shaped you to grow up in that environment, in that sort of extremely rural environment?

[Stephen Graham Jones]

You know, when I was growing up, the only two options for a guy to work after high school was oil field or cotton field. And you made more money in the oil field. But I saw these upperclassmen coming back from the oil field missing like three fingers. And I would look at my fingers and think, I like these, you know. And so I was going to be a farmer. That's all I was ever going to do is be a farmer. And I think that mindset of I'm just going to drive tractor does shape you a lot because I never thought school was necessary. So I didn't go to much high school at all.

[Luke Burbank]

But weren't you also, I saw an interview where you said you were also the only kid who did the reading.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

I was. I've. I've always been a compulsive reader. I have to have to be reading all the time. And that did not help me socially even a little bit. But I think it's helped me in the long run.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it seems to have. In your career. Amber, who is Tali's friend, is the only Native American at the high school. You are Native American. What was your experience like in terms of other Native American folks in West Texas?

[Stephen Graham Jones]

There weren't any. It was me and my dad, but my dad was in the Air Force, so he was always in Germany or Korea or somewhere. So I was the Only Indian in West Texas, as far as I knew. I had some cousins as well, but we didn't go to the same school. So the result of that is, growing up, I was called Chief as much as I was called Stephen. And I learned the answer to it, which is weird, you know, But I felt bad because sometimes, like, on a Saturday night, we'd need to throw a party at a house, and the house was locked. And they. Everybody would say, steve. Steve. Everybody called me Steve back then. You can break into this. You're Indian. And I would think. And I would think, really, that's the skill we have. But I always could, too. So it worked out.

[Luke Burbank]

Another concept of the genre that I was unfamiliar with until this book is the idea of the final girl. Can you explain what that is exactly?

[Stephen Graham Jones]

You know, the werewolf has the silver bullet, the zombie has the headshot, the vampire has daylight, and the slasher has the final girl. She's the antidote to the monster. The slasher is. She puts a cap on the cycle of violence. She's really like. Nature provides a final girl for every slasher. Slashers occur naturally, but then final girls rise in response, because what happens is the slashers get carried away. They start killing people who aren't actually deserving of being killed. I'm not saying that these other people need to be killed either. I mean, preserve the marching band. We need to preserve the marching band at all costs. Yes, absolutely. The final girl is like, enough is enough. And she's the sole survivor of her friend group. And she kind of starts out bookish and conservative and reserved, but this adventure of watching her pets, her teachers, her family, her friends, everyone die, it transforms her. Like, she goes into a chrysalis, and she comes out as this, like, warrior who can put a slasher down, put a monster down, and that's a big thing. And I think what slashers can do for us is they can tell us to all find the final grill in ourselves and push back against the bullies in our own lives.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, I'm glad that you brought that up, because, again, as somebody who didn't grow up gravitating towards horror and, you know, the whole world of horror that some people enjoy so much and get so much out of, what is it that I've been missing? Like, what is at the core of this that really speaks to people and really is not just about violence being perpetrated on people, but there's something else going on because so many people get so much out of this.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Yeah, horror. It's not for me, it's not about the gore, the violence, the desecration of everything. You know, the best way to say it maybe is in a dark theater like this when somebody's watching. When an audience is watching a scary film on screen, if you put a night camera on them to watch their responses, you'll see them all grasp their armrests and spill their Slurpees and do all kinds of stuff when a scary thing happens. But then in the seconds following that, they laugh and smile and sigh, and what they're doing is they're being alive. You know, they've experienced the terror, and then they're on the downslope of that is life. And they get to go back to the world they knew. And that's why I watch and read and engage horror. It's to be alive.

[Luke Burbank]

So it's that sort of build up this moment of intense fear or a strong experience, and then the kind of relief after it.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

The relief is what it's all about. Man, if I could bottle that, I would be in business.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I mean, you are in the many, many books that you've written. What do you think the key to. Because you've been so successful with this, what do you think the key to writing horror is? And you teach students it's at Colorado. How do you teach it, and what is the secret?

[Stephen Graham Jones]

You know, I think if there is a single secret to horror, it's write what you yourself are afraid of. Don't do a survey and find out that people are scared of spiders and mummies and fire, and then try to stage some mummified spider that's on fire coming for you. You know, that's just gonna be, like, vaguely scary. But, like, what nightmares are you having as a writer? What are your issues with the world? What are you anxious about? Find a way to embody that dramatically in a story, and then you're cooking.

[Luke Burbank]

There are so many musical references in this book, which I was loving because I think we're roughly the same age. So when you're talking about Tesla, there are just so many moments where you. Where you reference a song. You reference a character hearing a song. Did you have to, like, go back and double check and make sure that your memory of, like, when a song was actually out? Because this book is set mostly in the past. It's, what, 17 years ago?

[Stephen Graham Jones]

It's set in 1989, and it's told from 2006.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, so did you have to actually really make sure that you were doing stuff that was historically accurate?

[Stephen Graham Jones]

No, those Songs. That hair metal era is ingrained in me so deeply, I never have to second guess it at all. It's like you scratch me and it just bleeds up Kicks and Cinderella.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, Warrant.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

I love Warrant, man.

[Luke Burbank]

I was wondering if you. And I don't know if this is how you thought about it or not, but you as a person of your age, writing as a teenager in the voice of a teenager, with other teenagers. Is that part of why you said it in the period of time when you were a teenager? So you didn't get into this kind of false attempt at trying to sound younger than you are?

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Yeah, that's a good question. You know, I was talking to a friend about 15 years ago, will Christopher Baer, some of y'all may have read him. And he said he's like a real contemplative, thoughtful guy, or he can be. And he said to me, hey, Stephen, you're really good at that teenage angst stuff, aren't you? And I thought, wow, Chris gave me a good compliment. And then I'm walking home later that night, and I'm thinking, was that a compliment? You know? But as for why Tali's 17 in 1989, it's that kind of sneak wrote, I was a teenage slasher. I was supposed to be riding the angel of Indian Lake, which was due really soon.

[Luke Burbank]

And that's part of this Indian Lake trilogy.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

It is, yeah. It's the third book in that trilogy. But then I thought, you know, why not make it really difficult for myself and sneak another novel in?

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, this actually brings me perfectly to the next question. You've said something like you feel like if you're not writing, you're stealing air.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Yeah, no, that's the only reason I've ever been able to think I might be on this earth is to write fiction. So when I'm not doing that, then I feel like I should hold my breath and let other people use this air because I'm not doing nothing good with it anymore. Wow.

[Elena Passarello]

That's how you write 30 books plus.

[Luke Burbank]

Plus 30 plus. The producers hastily told me, because in the intro it says you've written 30 books. They were like, we are sorry to inform you, Luke, he has written more than 30 books. What is a typical day like for you in terms of your writing practice? Like, how are you? Because I just want to say again, I loved this book.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Thank you.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, this is not a genre I'm particularly familiar with, but this is such a well done book. It's not like you're just jamming out these books to get to a certain number. There's so much obvious care and thought that goes into them. Like, how are you actually generating this much good writing?

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Just low standards, man.

[Luke Burbank]

I give you points for comedy, but I disagree with you. Having just read this book, I wish.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

I had like a daily writing practice. I keep wanting to grow up and have a schedule. Schedule, but it never happens. I wake up and if I want to watch a Rockford Files, I'll watch a Rockford Files. And then I listen to some Bob Seeger. Then I go ride my bike. And then I remember, oh, yeah, I'm a writer. And so I go right for a couple hours real fast. Then I go back out on the trails. But I never, like, some writers will tell me they get up at 6:30, they start writing at 7, they go till 11, they eat lunch, then they do errands and life the rest of the day. And I think, wow, that must be nice to have that. But I just, I'm more of a binge writer or an opportunistic writer. Just any wedge in the day in which I can put words on the page. I sneak away around the corner and I'm doing that. Or I'll be talking to somebody and doing it in my head, which doesn't make navigation of conversations very easy. But I just. Yeah, I just love to write and I'm always doing it. And I like to. Maybe the way to say it is, do y'all remember when like, Goblet of Fire came out and everybody was standing in line at the bank reading it and sitting in their car in traffic reading it? That's how I like to write. I like to fill my day with this novel I'm writing, this story I'm writing. So every spare moment, I'm just cooking away on it.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, you must. In writing so many of these books, you must have to imagine so many, let's just call them end of life scenarios. Like, are you running out of, like, ways for people to die in these books?

[Stephen Graham Jones]

No, I can't write enough books for how the. All the ways I've got for people to die. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

This is Livewire. We're talking to Stephen Graham Jones. All right, all right, Stephen. Certain people, by which I mean me, have sort of historically had a hard time handling the genre of horror because of. Maybe it's a little too scary. But I think really the truth is that we need to give people like me a little credit because we are all dealing with the terrifying reality of human existence every day. And since you're an expert on the genre of horror, but also a person in the world. We wanted to give you two scenarios, okay? One inspired by the horror genre, the second inspired by the everyday horror of modern life on this planet. And then we'd like you to try to decide which is actually scarier. It's a little game we're calling Grave Situations. I'm not sure if you're familiar with that music stick. It's kind of an obscure little number. Okay, so these are two situations. One that seems to come up in horror films, one that comes up in real life. You have to tell us which one is more terrifying to you. Listening to a couple of twin girls speak in complete deadpan unison, or listening to the news first thing in the morning. What is more horrifying for you?

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Easily the news man.

[Luke Burbank]

Really?

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Get ideas from the news. Ever, like, do you see a story or read a story and think, oh, that could actually make sense in something you're working on.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

You know, if I'm reading, like, Weekly World News, I'll get somebody content. Yeah. Or like, Lumberjack, like a Bigfoot kept me as a love slave, that kind of stuff, you know, But. But no, the news. I think I hide in fiction from the news, actually.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, interesting. You know, it's funny because, like, this week for this show, I was doing a lot of reading, and what I realized, it was displacing for me was my obsessive news consumption that I'm doing right now just to try to quell anxiety. And I've never been more relieved to hear about somebody just being killed in a swimming pool because it has nothing to do with persuadable voters in Pennsylvania.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Yeah, you're totally right. But, you know, the one thing about engaging, like, in anxious times, engaging a horror story, novel, novella, play, film, poem, whatever is that whatever form you're in, it has an ending. Like you walk through a dark tunnel and there's some light at the end, and you're moving towards it, and you get there. It may be a train, but still you get there. Whereas this news cycle is never ending. You never get out of the tunnel. You know, I think that's why horror has been on the rise these last few years. It's because horror stories have endings. And we. We like the idea that this horror we're in might have an ending.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Well, on the subject of horror, real life, which is a more grave situation for you, Steven? Seeing blood come up your shower drain or clogging the toilet at someone's Christmas party?

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Christmas Party. Party.

[Luke Burbank]

I know, right? Yeah. Although during soundcheck, we were running through these and Elena, you seem to have a good system for unclogging the toilet.

[Elena Passarello]

Yeah, I know how to do it. Any toilet, any place I can unclog it. I have. I have lived on this earth for 46 years and I've been in a lot of scenarios and I've MacGyvered my way out of all of them.

[Luke Burbank]

Would you take. So you would take clogging a toilet?

[Elena Passarello]

My final toilet Girl. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, here's the last one. What is a more grave situation? Having your car break down in a remote location near an old abandoned farmhouse or having a person in a car right behind you, impatiently waiting while you try to parallel park?

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Oh, what's scarier, I guess the parallel parking. I'm a pretty good parallel parker. But I don't feel any fear being out in the country with a broke down truck because that's like every other night of my life growing up.

[Luke Burbank]

You know your stuff, Stephen Graham Jones. You're exactly right. That's how you play grave situations.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Thank you, thank you.

[Luke Burbank]

The book is I Was a Teenage Slasher by Stephen Graham Jones. Stephen, thank you so much.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

Thank you, thank you.

[Luke Burbank]

That was horror writer Stephen Graham Jones. Very likable and friendly for someone who writes horror, Elena. I mean, I know that's probably kind of like a stereotype for me to buy into, but as like a non horror consumer, I didn't know what to expect.

[Elena Passarello]

He was such a nice, friendly dude. He could be friends with Mr. Rogers, but he also writes slasher fiction.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. The latest of which is his new book, I Was a Teenage Slasher. We recorded that interview as part of the Portland Book Festival. Special thanks this episode to Nancy Wittig and Jodi McKenzie, both of Portland, Oregon. Nancy and Jodi are part of the Livewire member community. They are generously supporting our show with a donation each month. And we are grateful for the support because it is how we are able to do Livewire week in and week out. Thanks to amazing folks like Jody and Nancy. So big thanks for keeping Livewire in business. This, of course, is Livewire. I'm Luke Burbank. That's Elena Passarello. Each week we like to ask the Livewire audience a question related to the episode and inspired by Stephen Graham Jones book about teenage slasher. We asked the audience a question, Elena. What did we ask them?

[Elena Passarello]

We asked them, what is your weirdest fear?

[Luke Burbank]

Ah, okay. I mean, I would say being slashed by a teenage Slasher. Not weird. Very, very normal thing to be fearful of. We had our intern, Andrea, ask some of the audience at the Alberta Rose Theater to answer that question. And here are some of their answers. This is what Ellison said, Elena. That Ellison was weirdly afraid of.

[Alex Falcone]

It's just not that weird.

[Elena Passarello]

But I am, like, very afraid of.

[Alex Falcone]

Things with more than eight legs. Like, eight legs is my cutoff. I love a spider, but get the.

[Elena Passarello]

Centipedes away from me.

[Luke Burbank]

So more than eight legs for Ellison is the problem.

[Elena Passarello]

That's right. The rare nine legged bug is just really messing them up.

[Luke Burbank]

I find the extra legs. Like, if you're talking about a millipede or a centipede, it's almost like visual asmr for me. Like, it makes me feel relaxed because it's so undulating. Like, think about the mechanics of all of those legs, you know, working together in unison. I think there's something kind of beautiful about it.

[Alex Falcone]

Nope.

[Elena Passarello]

Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.

[Luke Burbank]

You're with Alison. Nope.

[Elena Passarello]

Nope, nope, nope. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. This is something Cole says they're weirdly afraid of not being able to get.

[Elena Passarello]

Everything on my grocery list and having.

[Alex Falcone]

To go to a second grocery store.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know if you caught that. It was a little loud. But not getting everything on the grocery list at the first location. I share this fear.

[Elena Passarello]

So where I live in Corvallis, Oregon, we joke about how you cannot get your entire grocery roster covered. Like, the grocery stores are conspiring against one another to have, like, everything you need except for that one bag of cheesy poofs that you like.

[Alex Falcone]

Like, it's.

[Elena Passarello]

You always have to make multiple trips. Cole, do not move to Corvallis.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not the place for you.

[Elena Passarello]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, here is Nick's answer to the question of what is something you are weirdly afraid of?

[Alex Falcone]

Hitting a tree while downhill skiing. Okay, yeah, I know that it's to happen, but I'm scared of that.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, first of all, this is how Sonny Bono left this planet. So I think it's a pretty reasonable fear.

[Elena Passarello]

Some other celebrities, too.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't want to blame the scared person here, Nick, but have you noticed that when you're on the ski slope, you look around, there's a lot of trees. It's kind of a big mountain thing. Like, I think that's a very rational fear.

[Elena Passarello]

Well, I mean, it would be irrational, though, if Nick is afraid of hitting a tree while skiing and has never been skiing in his life.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what? That's a really good point. I assumed Nick was, like, an avid skier or something. All right, thank you to everyone who answered our question about weird fears. We really do appreciate it. Thanks to our intern Andrea for collecting those up. This is Livewire from prx. Our next guest achieved the rare and coveted trifecta of Portland comedy during his time in Portland. He won the title of Portland's funniest person. He appeared on the TV show Portlandia, where I think, if I remember right, he showed off. He has one of these, like, insane abilities to spin a pen on his thumb. And I believe his character was just spinning this pen on his thumb in this way. That was totally remarkable. The other thing, the third leg in the stool of Portland comedy Trifectory, is that he's had an ice cream flavor named after him at Salt and Straw, the famous Portland ice cream concern.

[Elena Passarello]

Holy cow.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, right? And then since then, he's also been up to great things. He's appeared on the Late show with Stephen Colbert. He released a comedy album which is called Vanilla, and he's got about a half a million TikTok followers, which includes me. He's now based in Los Angeles, but he made a triumphant return to the Alberta Rose Theater in Portland, Oregon, to make us laugh once again. This is Alex Falcone on Livewire.

[Alex Falcone]

Thank you. Good to see all of you. Tell you guys what I've been up to. I've been trying to get somebody pregnant recently. Actually, wait, let me go back. Sorry. I am married. My wife and I dated all the way to completion, and we are. We're at that interesting place where we've been trying to make a baby. And here's my main takeaway. If you've never tried it harder than they said it would be in sixth grade. Yeah, they made it sound super easy. It's taken us a while. Long enough. We were at a doctor's appointment, and I asked the ob. I was like, what are the actual odds of this happening? And she's like, well, remember, if you hit the peak day, which remembers one day in a cycle which is a little bit less than a month, so it'll move around within the month. Right? But then also it can move around within the cycle. But also, sometimes it'll skip a month. But also, you'll never know if it's the right day until several days after it. But if you nail it, 18%. That's what she said. When I was in sixth grade, they were like, there's a 90% chance you'll get pregnant if you go near a hot tub. One of you is lying I don't know which one it is. I'm getting frustrated about it. My wife is very calm. She's very cool about it. I'm getting frustrated. Everybody's advice to me is don't be frustrated. That's what everyone tells me. They say the same thing, and they sound like they're trying to be nice, but everybody says they're like, just relax. Just don't think about it. Put it out of your head. It'll happen when you least expect it. And that sounds nice, but that's not actually that good. When I least expect it is when my wife is having a quiet night at home in Los Angeles and I'm here in Portland with you fine people. I'm not expecting it right now. I thought I was at least gonna be there, obviously. That number was real, by the way, that 18%. That's what she told us. And a part of the problem is that we are old, right? I'm in my late 20s, very late. I'm 40. And so we have an increased level of difficulty. There's actually a term for it if we get pregnant now for anybody over 30. Do you guys know what it is? All of you? Yeah. Geriatric pregnancy. That's what they call it. They say geriatric if you're over 34, they're like, geriatric pregnancy. And what I think of that is it's kind of mean. You could have picked any word. You already make more money than me, and you make me wait in that little room. And then when you show up, you roast me. That doesn't seem. Could have called it classic or something. I don't know. Do I at least get a senior discount? What do I. It's rough. It's weird. And that's so weird. Cause 35 is a very young age. We all agree, right? And you go in there and you're 35. The doctor's like, you wanna get pregnant? Look at this. Moses over here thinks they're gonna have a baby. Oh, yeah. You wanted. Look, I'm a doctor, not a witch. I don't know. I've got jury duty coming up. I'm very excited about it. I got jury duty, and I love jury duty. It's my favorite thing. I like anytime someone wants to know my opinion. So that's a perfect place. I have great opinions about movies and restaurants. They probably saw my work on Yelp, actually. And they were like, we gotta get this guy in here. He's tough, but fair. Let's give him a few crimes to look at. The whole premise of it's like, what a fun, powerful feeling. The whole premise of a jury duty is like, everyone else worked hard, but I get the last say. It's so cool. There's at least two lawyers, which is like seven years of school each, at least. And then there's a judge, which is two lawyers sitting on each other's shoulders with a trench coat. And then they put on a show of all their research, right? They bring in experts and crime labs and witnesses, and they take all of that and they put it together and they're like, well, we've done everything we can. Let's see what Alex thinks. That's how it works. They're like, we've done everything possible. Let's bring in one comedian and 11 retired people. We're gonna get to the bottom of this. I think if you die doing something you love, that's worse. Cause you didn't get to finish that thing you love. That's so sad. I want to die doing something I hate. So at least it's over. I want my last thought to be like, someone else is on bathroom cleaning duty. That's what I want. I don't think anyone wants to die doing what they love. Like, every once in a while you see, like, there's like a news story. Someone's in a skydiving accident, and his friend is like, well, at least he died doing what he loved. I don't know, man. I bet he loved landing safely and going again. I'm not sure. You really. I don't think you really listened to your friend when he talked about his hobbies. That's what I think. I think for me, the perfect way to die would be in traffic, not in a car accident, just sitting there. That's what I want, right? You know, I live in la. The traffic is terrible. I want it to be like, Monday morning, 9:00am Obviously, I'm not gonna let em take my weekend. But like, Monday morning, I'm in traffic. Guy behind me honks even though I can't make all these cars move, right? And then I'm like, you know what? I don't actually want to work today. And then I just check out, right? Great news for me. I'm not in traffic anymore. What an awesome day. Even better. The guy who honked for no reason has to wait way longer. This is a new shirt, by the way. I'm trying to dress better. Thank you. It's so hard. It's so stressful. Because when I go to buy clothes, when I look at clothes, all of the pictures are of the clothes on hot people, and I don't need to see what it looks like on hot people. That's not where I'm gonna put it. When I need tires for my Civic, I don't look at pictures of Ferraris. I don't care. I don't need to see what a shirt looks like on a ten. I need a shirt that turns a six into a six and a half. That's my market. That's what I want. I don't want to see any of these hot models. I want to see models with good personalities. That's what I want. You know how sometimes on closed ads, it'll be like he's five nine and he's wearing a medium or whatever. I want mine to be like, this guy is five'eleven and a half, and he can juggle. That's what I want. I want. Show me pictures of guys who tip well. That's the market I'm in. I'll tell you one more thing. I got to go to Europe this summer. I was very lucky. Got to go to Paris and London this summer. It was wonderful. One of the things that's great about leaving the United States is seeing things that I took for granted that I just assumed we were better at than the rest of the world because there's stuff that we're very good at, right? We are very good at barbecue and putting people on the moon, and we are less good at trains and healthcare. It's interesting to see the differences. But one of the things that blew my mind is did you know that every other country is better at us at cleaning up after they go to the bathroom? Did you know that everywhere we went had bidets and we are still using tree pieces like the cowboys? What are we doing? The thing that they came up with was using water to clean. It's brilliant. It's really good. We're still dry dragging like it's the 1800s. Other places are using water, and it's so much. But water is the way you clean stuff, right? It's like if you got someone else's poo on you, you're changing a diaper a little bit, gets on your arm. You wouldn't say, hand me a fast food napkin. Right? You would. You would want some moisture involved. If you got mud on your truck, you wouldn't be like, broom, broom, broom, right? You want. When you turn the thing in the shower, towels don't come out. Okay. I think the reason we don't do it is just because the word Bidets is too French. That's what I think. Right. It just doesn't sound cool. We don't want bidets everywhere. But you know what we are into as a country? Power washers. Right. And what is a bidet but a power washer that lives in your toilet? That's all it is. So if we rebrand it, right, if we called them pooper soakers or Ass Blaster, you would sell sharks. I'm asking for $200,000 for 15%. All right. My name is Alex. You guys have been so wonderful. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. It's always great to have you.

[Luke Burbank]

Alex Falcone, everybody. That was Alex Falcone right here on Livewire. His comedy album Vanilla is available right now to listen to. It's Livewire. I'm Luke Burbank here with Elena Passarello. We have to take a very short break, but don't go anywhere. When we come back, we are gonna hear a song from the psychedelic cumbia punk band Tropa Magica. More Livewire in just a moment. Welcome back to Livewire from prx. I'm Luke Burbank here with Elena Passarello. All right, it's time for that part of the show where we play a little Station location identification examination. This is where we quiz our esteemed announcer and master of not just the trivial, but the information based. Like, Elena, you know so much stuff. I'm always impressed.

[Elena Passarello]

I can get any stain out of anything.

[Luke Burbank]

That, by the way, could be another game at some point on the show.

[Elena Passarello]

Stain. Location identification.

[Luke Burbank]

Here's where we ask Elena about a place in the country where Livewire is on the radio. She has got to figure out where we are talking about. Maybe with a little help from the live crowd at the Alberta Rose Theater in Portland, Oregon. Cause that is where we recorded this session of station location identification examination. Elena, are you ready?

[Elena Passarello]

I'm so ready.

[Luke Burbank]

It's the birthplace of a writer named Carl Sandberg, and his home is now a historic site. I will be very honest. I was googling this side stage who Carl Sandberg was.

[Elena Passarello]

Oh, no. The city of Big Shoulders.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, this is why I'm not the person competing in Station Location Identification. You knew this? You know who this is?

[Elena Passarello]

I have to tell you, I don't think I'm gonna get this right, but there's a Carl Sandberg home in North Carolina. It's where he died. And I went there with my family when I was a kid and a.

[Luke Burbank]

Goat peed on my shoe and. That's right. It's Goat Shoe, Wisconsin.

[Alex Falcone]

Yay.

[Luke Burbank]

That's the place we're looking for. Wow. You already know way more about Carl Sandberg.

[Elena Passarello]

I don't think he's from North Carolina. I think that's where he retired and died. So is it somewhere in Illinois? Because he writes a lot about Chicago.

[Luke Burbank]

And I won a Pulitzer for a book about Lincoln. So it is in Illinois. It's.

[Elena Passarello]

Is it Weehawken?

[Luke Burbank]

That's New Jersey, but close. It's Galesburg, Illinois.

[Elena Passarello]

I know Galesburg, Illinois town. It's on the Iowa River.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Galesburg, Illinois, where we're on the radio on wvkc. So shout out to everybody in Galesburg. Tuning into Livewire. Okay. All right, before, before we get to our musical guest this week, let's have a little preview of what's going on on the show. Next week. We are gonna be talking to the writer Carrie Farrell, who was known for a period of time as the hipster grifter. Not sure if you remember that she got that nickname by becoming a sort of infamous swindler in New York City in certain hip social circles. That was back in the late aughts. Eventually, Carrie ended up pleading guilty to forgery and identity fraud. And now she has written a memoir that's actually quite incredible. It's called you'd'll never believe me Then. Also, we've got some stand up comedy from Zach Toscani. He's gonna give us some insight on what it feels like to be a recovering goth and also how trips to the dentist keep getting weirder for him. Then we're gonna hear some music from the Sweet Soulsters. And honestly, one of the most spry people I've met for his age, the one, the only, Yrl Thomas and the Pain. That will be our musical guest next week on the show. It's gonna be amazing, so make sure you tune in for that one. Our musical guests this week are two brothers who were inspired by the songs and vibes of 90s East Los Angeles. Backyard quinceaneras, baptisms, family gatherings, punk shows. The Chicago Reader says that their shows get down to music that has the spirit of laughing in the sun while food cooks outdoors and gazing up at a starry night sky while feeling small but content.

[Elena Passarello]

Mm, mm, mm.

[Luke Burbank]

Should I read that again so we can all just bask?

[Elena Passarello]

Yeah, I want to live in that review, please.

[Luke Burbank]

I want to go to there, as we say. Anyway, this is Tropa Mahika, who joined us at the Patricia Research center for the Arts in Beaverton, Oregon. Take a listen. What song. Are we going to hear this first song?

[E]

We wrote it, Renee. We took a trip to Mexico City when we started this band. We went to the pyramids. And it actually works better if I play, like, kind of give it some context.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, absolutely.

[E]

So we took this trip down to Mexico City, we went to the pyramids, and somebody gave us two little magical piece of paper and we, you know, so we were walking around and all of a sudden colors started swirling all over us. And we heard these, like, jaguar sounds. And then we heard like this, like this very beautiful whistle. And that's what inspired this song.

[Luke Burbank]

And what's the name of the song?

[E]

It's called Alice D Roman.

[Elena Passarello]

It's Saul Renders.

[Stephen Graham Jones]

No la.

[Luke Burbank]

That was Tropa Mahika right here on Livewire performing the song LSD Roma from their newest ep, Tropa Magica y la muerte de los Commons. All right, that's going to do it for this week's episode of Livewire. A huge thanks to our guests Stephen Graham Jones, Alex Falcone and Tropa Mahika.

[Elena Passarello]

Laura Hadden is our executive producer. Heather D. Michelle is our executive director. And our producer and editor is Melanie Savchenko. Eben Hoffer is our technical director. Leona Kinderman is our assistant technical director. And our house sound is by Dee Neil Blake. Ashley park is our production fellow. Andrea Castro Martinez is our intern.

[Luke Burbank]

Our house band is Sam Pinkerton, Ethan Fox, Tucker, Eyal Alves and Awalker Spring, who also composes our music. This episode was mixed by Eben Hofer and Hazik Bin Ahmad Farid.

[Elena Passarello]

Additional funding provided by the James F. And Marian L. Miller Foundation. Livewire was created by Robin Tenenbaum and Kate Sokoloff. This week we'd like to thank members Nancy Wittig of Portland, Oregon, and Jody McKenzie of Portland, Oregon. Also, very special thanks this week to the amazing Amanda Bullock and the Portland Book Festival.

[Luke Burbank]

For more information about our show or how you can listen to our podcast, head on over to livewireradio.org I'm Luke Burbank for Elena Passarello and the whole Livewire crew. Thank you for listening and we will see you next week. Wouldn't it be amazing to have a piping hot episode of Livewire delivered right to your heart and ears each week? Well, guess what? That can happen when you subscribe to the Livewire podcast feed. And you'll get the joy of surprising comments conversation every week. So go ahead and do it. It's super easy. You click on the button at the top of your podcast app, and bam, you are Livewire subscribed. And if you're still, you know, feeling the love, if you're enjoying the show, hey, maybe you could hook us up and leave us a quick review that'll help more people find out about Livewire. And thank you.

[Elena Passarello]

From prx.