Living Beyond ADHD | Wave AI Podcast Notes

The Shame Spiral and How to Get Out of It

Beneath the disorganization, the unfinished projects, the chronic lateness, and the avoidance — there is almost always shame. In this episode, DrB goes straight to the root.She explains the difference between guilt and shame, traces where ADHD shame comes from, breaks down the mechanics of the shame spiral, and offers a clear, practical path out. This is not feel-good talk. This is skill-based, brain-based work that changes the foundation everything else is built on.Key Points Covered• Guilt vs. shame — and why the difference matters for ADHD adults• How ADHD shame is built across a lifetime of misunderstanding• The shame spiral: trigger → story → nervous system → paralysis• 4 concrete steps to interrupt and exit the shame spiral• The long-game: building a new relationship with yourselfLinks Mentioned• drbarbaracohen.com — All episodes + show resources• Get Sh*t Done (GSD) 9-Month Program — drbarbaracohen.com• Masterclass coming August 25, 2026 – It Was Never You Masterclass – 10 am – 2 pm Pacific Time – links and more information coming soon.

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There Are No Skills in Pills

2w ago00:11:12Tap to summarize

DrB's most provocative episode — and one of the most important. She is not anti-medication, and she makes that clear. But she will not pretend that medication is enough.This episode draws a definitive line between what medication can do (create a window, reduce static, improve focus) and what it can never do (build skills, rewrite identity, heal shame). If you've been medicated for years and still feel like something is missing — this episode will tell you what that something is.Key Points Covered• DrB's clear position: not anti-medication, but deeply pro-skills• What stimulant medication can genuinely do for ADHD adults• What medication cannot do — and why this matters so much• Why so many medicated adults are still struggling• The complete picture: medication as a window, skills as the buildingLinks Mentioned• drbarbaracohen.com — All episodes + show resources• Get Sh*t Done (GSD) 9-Month Program — drbarbaracohen.comNew date for upcoming Masterclass - August 25, 2026 - details coming soon.

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It's Not Your Fault — And You're 100% Responsible

3w ago00:14:31Tap to summarize

In this foundational episode, DrB delivers the message that sits at the heart of everything she teaches: it is not your fault — and you are 100% responsible for what happens next.These two truths are not a contradiction. Together, they are the most liberating framework an adult with ADHD can internalize. If you've been waiting for permission to stop blaming yourself and start building — this is it.Key Points Covered• Why ADHD is not your fault — and what that really means• The critical difference between blame and responsibility• How the "old story" becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy• What it looks like to take 100% responsibility in practice• The question that changes everything: "What skill am I missing?"Links Mentioneddrbarbaracohen.com — All episodes + show resourcesGet Sh*t Done (GSD) 9-Month Program — drbarbaracohen.com

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The Pre-Skills Nobody Talks About - 124

4w ago00:11:50Tap to summarize

Why do ADHD strategies always seem to work for a week and then collapse? DrB answers this question with a concept almost no one in the mainstream ADHD space is teaching: pre-skills.Before executive function can be built and integrated, there are foundational skills that must come first — self-awareness, nervous system regulation, understanding your own brain, and a relationship with yourself not built on shame. This episode explains what pre-skills are, why they matter, and how they work together with executive function to create lasting change.Key Points Covered• Why strategies fail: building without a foundation• The 4 core pre-skills every adult with ADHD needs• Self-awareness as the bedrock of all change• Why nervous system regulation is not optional• The soil-and-seeds model: how pre-skills and executive function work togetherLinks Mentioned• drbarbaracohen.com — All episodes + show resources• Get Sh*t Done (GSD) 9-Month Program — drbarbaracohen.com

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What Executive Function Really Is (And Why Nobody Told You) - 123

Jun 2300:15:03Tap to summarize

"Executive function" gets thrown around constantly in ADHD conversations — but rarely explained. In this episode, DrB breaks down exactly what executive function is, walks through every core skill (working memory, cognitive flexibility, inhibitory control, planning, task initiation, emotional regulation, and time management), and delivers the most important reframe in ADHD education: these are skills, not fixed traits. They can be learned, built, and integrated for life.Key Points Covered• Executive function explained plainly: your brain's management system• The 7 core executive function skills and what they look like in ADHD adults• Why "executive function disorder" is a misleading framing• The difference between a deficit and a skill gap• A preview of pre-skills — the foundation that makes everything else possibleLinks MentionedRegister for the June 23 Masterclass for free with optional VIP upgrade: https://itwasneveryoumasterclass.com/ Learn about GSD: https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/gsdprogram Learn about the Gifted Underachiever: https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/blog?tag=gifted+underachiever

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Nobody Taught You How to Learn - 122

Jun 1600:16:58Tap to summarize

It took DrB fifteen years to finish a four-year degree — not because she wasn't capable, but because she was searching for an education and kept finding a factory. In this episode, she shares her full story and connects it to a message she received from a high school student halfway around the world who asked the question she hears from almost every student: why can't I concentrate, and why doesn't studying work for me?The answer isn't willpower or discipline. It's about a system that teaches what to learn but never how — and a population of gifted, high-capacity brains that pay the heaviest price for that gap. DrB breaks down what concentration actually is, why re-reading your notes is largely a waste of time, and six strategies for finally working with your brain instead of against it.Key Topics:• DrB's personal story: 15 years, multiple schools, and a brain that refused to settle• Why gifted brains are most harmed by standard education• The truth about concentration — it's not low, it's discerning• Retrieval practice vs. re-reading — the most important switch you can make• Six evidence-based strategies for brain-aligned learning• The connection between this and the work of GSDLinks:Register for the June 23 Masterclass for free with optional VIP upgrade: https://itwasneveryoumasterclass.com/ Learn about GSD: https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/gsdprogram Learn about the Gifted Underachiever: https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/blog?tag=gifted+underachiever

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I'm Back — And So Is Your Brilliance - 121

Jun 900:18:34Tap to summarize

After a three-year hiatus due to health challenges, DrB returns to Living Beyond ADHD with a message that hasn't changed — and a conviction that's stronger than ever.In this comeback episode, DrB lays out the truth about adults with ADHD: you are bright, gifted, and capable of extraordinary things. What's holding you back isn't a disorder — it's missing pre-skills and executive function skills that were never taught to you.And the most radical idea of all? Those skills can be learned. Welcome back.Podcast Episodes & Transcripts https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/blog?tag=podcast GSD Program Information: https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/gsdprogram Most ADHD programs give you strategies. GSD gives you a transformation. In nine months of deep, structured, high-touch work, you go from the inside out — dismantling the limiting beliefs and outdated identities that have been running your life, building the pre-skills that make everything else possible, and then systematically developing all 13 core executive function skills that may have been derailed by ADHD, depression, anxiety, trauma, addiction, or chronic illness. With weekly live coaching, individualized assessment, personal debriefs from DrB, and a community of adults doing the same profound work — you don't come out of GSD with better habits. You come out a different person. Not because you became someone new. Because you finally built what was always supposed to be yours. That is not a promise — it is what the data shows.TTC Program Information: https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/ttcprogram Most adults with ADHD have spent their whole lives being told what's wrong with them — but nobody ever gave them the actual skills to change it. The Transformation Club is 12 lessons covering the executive function and life skills that were never taught to you: from mindset and beliefs to priorities, decisions, emotional maturity, and living with intention. With monthly live coaching calls and a supportive community, this is where real, lasting transformation happens — at your own pace, on your own terms.Exciting New Masterclass Debut: June 23, 2026, 10 am – 2 pm Pacific Time with VIP Option. https://itwasneveryoumasterclass.com/

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The Importance of Executive Function Pre-Skills – 120

May 24, 202300:33:05Tap to summarize

How often do you do the prep work for your tasks? Do you know what I mean by prep work? Most people I know really dislike the prep work and just want to get down to doing the task. They even feel that the prep work is a waste of their time because it isn't getting the job done. And, they are short on time as it is, so this is just a non-essential thing to do. But is it really? Everything in life needs prep work and maintenance. If you are the cook in your family or home, you need to prep the meal before you can make it and then eat it. If you are going to work on an art project, you need to prep and make sure you have all the supplies you need for your project before you embark or you'll be running out to the store or aborting the project when you find out that you don't have what you need. What about leading a meeting at work? Do you just show up and talk, or do you need to prep for the meeting so you stay on topic for the purpose of the meeting and are clear on what you will present? Like I said, prep work and maintenance is just part of life. Prep work can include many Executive Function skills or Executive Function pre-skills. And, if you don't have solid pre-skills, then building your Executive Function skills on a flimsy foundation isn't going to get you sustainable results. The 3 Executive Function pre-skills that I feel are essential are your relationship with time and how you manage yourself and time itself, procrastination and how you eliminate it from your life, and decision-making since you are making decisions every day, and sometimes all day long. Do you trust yourself with time and the decisions you make? Have you eliminated procrastination from your life? In this episode, I talk about: Executive Function pre-skills development The importance of developing a dynamic plan with a strong foundation What it's like to work with Dr B And more! Developing your Executive Function Skills and shifting your limiting beliefs is the fastest and most effective way to overcome ADHD limitations, find focus, gain confidence, and a newfound freedom in your life! My mission is to put an end to the worldwide needless suffering of adults with ADHD and those with under-developed Executive Function Skills - whether from ADHD, chronic depression or anxiety, trauma, addictions, or chronic illnesses. And, you don't need a formal diagnosis to know you need help developing these executive function skills in order to greatly reduce your suffering. Episode Resources: Get Sh*t Done Fundamentals + Essentials (GSD-FE) Program Information: (previously known as the ADDventures In Achievement [AIA-FS] program)

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Do you have the blueprints to build a new model of yourself? – 119

May 17, 202300:32:38Tap to summarize

Do you have the blueprints to build a new model of yourself? One of my favorite quotes is by Buckminster Fuller, who said, "You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete." Thinking along the same lines as Fuller, I realized years ago that with so much that happens on our journey from birth to adulthood, unless we build a new model of ourselves and then move into that new model, we will be fighting the existing reality and model of our earlier life and selves forever, and trying to "fix" the dysfunctional, rather than create anew. If changing the outcomes in your life was as easy as learning some new skills or moving to a new place to start over again, then everyone who does it that way would be happy with their new outcomes. It doesn't work that way. Wherever you go, there you are. You are taking the existing model of who you have become up to now and attempting to shove new tools into that existing, dysfunctional model of you, and there is no room for this to happen. You are a closed system that has what it has and functions as it does within that closed system. You have to be willing to build a new model of yourself, for who you need to be or want to be, take the best from your existing model and move it over into your new model, and then release the rest of that original model because it is obsolete. My phrase for that release is borrowed from Star Trek and is "beam me up Scottie." Since energy never dies, I don't want to leave anything from the previous model of me, that is now obsolete, for me to slide back into at some point in time. I am clear that model is obsolete and I have built a new healthy model and I want to live from the place of that new model, not the old, dysfunctional one. This means we have to be able to let go of the old and embrace the new, and many have difficulty letting go of anything; especially the previous, outdated and dysfunction model of who they have been. In this episode, I talk about: Building a blueprint for a new model of yourself Why change is not just as easy as learning new skills Common barriers to transformation And more! Developing your Executive Function Skills and shifting your limiting beliefs is the fastest and most effective way to overcome ADHD limitations, find focus, gain confidence, and a newfound freedom in your life! My mission is to put an end to the worldwide needless suffering of adults with ADHD and those with under-developed Executive Function Skills - whether from ADHD, chronic depression or anxiety, trauma, addictions, or chronic illnesses. And, you don't need a formal diagnosis to know you need help developing these executive function skills in order to greatly reduce your suffering. Episode Resources: Get Sh*t Done Fundamentals + Essentials (GSD-FE) Program Information: (previously known as the ADDventures In Achievement [AIA-FS] program) https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/gsdprogram Grant assistance page for help with funding for GSD-FE program: https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/financial-assistance Book your complimentary discovery call with Dr B to get your questions answered, and determine together if GSD-FE is right for you or not: https://calendly.com/d/ywy-j5t-4jk The Transformation Club (TTC) – if time or money commitments have been holding you back - the affordable membership program for Executive Function skills development: https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/ttcprogram Free PDF - 13 Signs Weak Executive Functioning Is Holding You Back:https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/Executive-Function Book your complimentary discovery call to get your questions answered and determine if TTC is right for you or not: https://calendly.com/amygellerux/ttcdiscoverycall Follow me on Dr B Facebook Page and enjoy live videos and more Follow me on Instagram and enjoy relevant resources To Help The Show:Subscribe at your favorite listening spot and my podcast player has social media links (icons) in the episode player so you can share episodes you love with others! Please rate the show and leave a thoughtful review on iTunes so I know you're benefiting from the episodes. The greater the number of reviews, the higher the ranking, and the easier it will be for others to find the show; people who also need this information. Let's put an end to the worldwide needless suffering together! We can do this!

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Are You Prone to Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD)? – 118

May 11, 202300:37:21Tap to summarize

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria or RSD is a hot topic these days. It is one manifestation of emotional dysregulation, which is a common but misunderstood and under-researched symptom of ADHD in adults. Individuals with RSD feel unbearable pain (physical and emotional) as a result of actual or perceived rejection, teasing, or criticism. And, this symptom is not alleviated with cognitive or dialectical behavior therapy. I've read that this symptom is attributed to a different brain structure, a sensitivity that is different than just being a highly sensitive person, and as with the treatment of ADHD itself, medications such as ADHD medications or antidepressants are often given in the hopes that they will lessen the pain. A significant percentage of adults never find any effective ways to manage or cope with the pain. So, what do adults do when they are in unbearable pain? What comes to mind is self-medicate the pain so they can at least do what needs doing in their life. This could be drink, drug, spend, eat, etc., to escape the pain. When I read about rejection, it appears to be the intentional act of refusing to accept, approve or support something or someone such as refusal to show someone love or kindness; refusal to accept someone. Rejection is the act of not giving someone the love and attention they want and/or expect. In this episode, I talk about: The unbearable physical or emotional pain of rejection The difference between RSD and ADHD What it takes to transform from the inside out And more! Developing your Executive Function Skills and shifting your limiting beliefs is the fastest and most effective way to overcome ADHD limitations, find focus, gain confidence, and a newfound freedom in your life! My mission is to put an end to the worldwide needless suffering of adults with ADHD and those with under-developed Executive Function Skills - whether from ADHD, chronic depression or anxiety, trauma, addictions, or chronic illnesses. And, you don't need a formal diagnosis to know you need help developing these executive function skills in order to greatly reduce your suffering. Episode Resources: Get Sh*t Done Fundamentals + Essentials (GSD-FE) Program Information: (previously known as the ADDventures In Achievement [AIA-FS] program) https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/gsdprogram Grant assistance page for help with funding for GSD-FE program: https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/financial-assistance Book your complimentary discovery call with Dr B to get your questions answered, and determine together if GSD-FE is right for you or not: https://calendly.com/d/ywy-j5t-4jk The Transformation Club (TTC) – if time or money commitments have been holding you back - the affordable membership program for Executive Function skills development: https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/ttcprogram Free PDF - 13 Signs Weak Executive Functioning Is Holding You Back:https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/Executive-Function Book your complimentary discovery call to get your questions answered and determine if TTC is right for you or not: https://calendly.com/amygellerux/ttcdiscoverycall Follow me on Dr B Facebook Page and enjoy live videos and more Follow me on Instagram and enjoy relevant resources To Help The Show:Subscribe at your favorite listening spot and my podcast player has social media links (icons) in the episode player so you can share episodes you love with others! Please rate the show and leave a thoughtful review on iTunes so I know you're benefiting from the episodes. The greater the number of reviews, the higher the ranking, and the easier it will be for others to find the show; people who also need this information. Let's put an end to the worldwide needless suffering together! We can do this!

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