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Living Church of God - Audio Sermon Library
The Power of Your Words
00:38:50
Mike DeSimone | Recorded June 27, 2026
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Our words are powerful. They can either build or destroy. I'd like to begin with a story of someone we've all heard of and arguably has shaped the world we live in today. But we'll only hear the first part of the story now, and we'll have to wait to the end of the sermon to hear the conclusion. He was still affected by those words that he had heard five and a half decades earlier. Now, at age 60, he's being interviewed and is asked about the incident during his childhood. He described what happens and recalled the words that echoed in his memory for all those years. One day at school, I overheard the teacher tell the principal that I was unable to think properly and it would not be worthwhile keeping me in school any longer. I was so hurt by this, this last straw that I burst out crying. I went home and I told my mother about it. She brought me back to the school and angrily told the teacher that he didn't know what he was talking about and that I had more brains than he himself and a lot more talk like that. Hearing his teacher at 5 years old say these things cut deeply, so deeply they stayed with him for all those years. Again, we'll hear the rest of the story in a bit, but I'm sure that we can all remember words that were said to us. Words that were said to you that hurt, words that encouraged. It might be one comment made years ago that gave you hope and sparked something positive in you. Or it might have been a comment that cut so deep that it held you back for years. Or maybe because of that comment, you pushed yourself to make sure that that will never be true. Maybe you often heard words of encouragement as a child. Maybe you often heard words that hurt as a child. No relationship is perfect, but those biting words can leave deep cuts with lasting scars. Again, on the other hand, the encouraging words of others can motivate us. They can empower us, and they can give us the right kind of boldness. We can't control the words that we have heard in the past, but we can control the words that come out of our mouth. When was the last time that you said something, that you regret it afterwards? When was the last time? Maybe you should have said something and the time was right there, but you let it go by. We can turn to Proverbs 15. How about this? Let's turn to Matthew 12 and I'll just tell you what Proverbs 15, verse 4 says. Turn to Matthew 12. Matthew, chapter 12, Proverbs 15 says, A wholesome tongue is a tree. Of life, but perverseness in it breaks the Spirit. Matthew 12 and verse 33. Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or else make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for a tree is known by its fruit. Again, speaking here, Jesus Christ, speaking of the things that come out of our mouths. Verse 34 speaking to the Pharisees brood of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Whatever is in our heart, those are the things that can come out of our mouth. A good man, out of the good treasure of his heart, brings forth good things and an evil man. Evil things. Verse 36 But I say to you that for every idle word men speak, for all the things that we say, good or bad, positive or negative, edifying or hurtful, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. The day is coming when we will need to give account for the things that we've said, for the words that have come out of our mouth. Certainly we thankfully have Christ's forgiveness through his shed blood. But if we don't change, we don't repent. We will have to give account. We will we have left wreckage behind in the paths we walked. Or will we leave behind something beautiful that took a lifetime to build? Today we'll explore the impact of our words on others. First, we'll examine how harmful words, how harmful words can be and how to avoid them. Then we'll see how powerful our words can be in encouraging and edifying others. The title is watch your words. It was going to be watch your mouth, but we're going with watch your words. So first, avoiding harmful words. Avoiding harmful words. The words that come out of our mouth can never be taken back. Winston Churchill is accredited with saying, we are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves to those we let slip out. Once they're out, it is too late and those words live forever. Hurtful, mean words cast last in the memory of a lifetime, they are in the memory for a lifetime. Another quote. Be careful with your words. Once they're said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten. If we haven't been careful with what we say, negative responses can become habit. It can easily become habit. If we're not careful, it can become our knee jerk reaction. Negative words, the impact of those hurtful words, can cause lasting damage. Proverbs 15 and verse 4 we just read from that. A wholesome tongue is a tree of life. But perverseness is in it breaks the spirit. From an article by Mr. Weston, courtesy, Compassion, and kindness. Just really in line with the message today. Compassion and kindness, he writes. Compassion and kindness may be shown by both our words and our actions. You were probably told as a child, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. This mantra was taught by well meaning parents, teachers and others to toughen us up against unkind words that inevitably come our way. But the truth is that words do hurt, and they hurt even after we become adults. A Commentary Guarding your tongue against evil One of our commentaries Whether a slip of the tongue, a frustrated outburst, or a carefully concealed thought or opinion voiced in the wrong moment, the result is usually the same. A very poor reflection in one's personality or reputation. Remarks better left unsaid can hurt personal relationships as well. People certainly mess up from time to time, and their words may even be misconstrued. But failing to keep one's speech in check can nevertheless lead to suffering, the article continues. Sometimes people also make revealing statements in situations where they think no one will hear, and when those get out, there may be severe repercussions. Good social habits require that we watch our words to protect both ourselves and others. So let's just examine a couple of scenarios where negative words might come out of our mouth. And certainly we're all prone to these things in different ways. It could be that we're cold or harsh with our first words when we wake up, when we leave the house in the morning, when we get back from the from the office or the job, back to the house right before we go to bed. The words we use with our family at these times set the mood for the day. They set the mood for the week. They could set the mood for years. If we don't build a habit of being pleasant and positive. It can be easy to default to mediocre ho hum at best or hostile at worst. We can turn to Proverbs chapter 18, and we'll look at several passages in Proverbs. A really a lot of gold in Proverbs regarding this Proverbs 18:21. Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. It sets the direction of our life, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Again, looking at scenarios we might the words we say may not be helpful. Maybe in the heat of an argument we lash out with cruel and hurtful words. This could happen with a good friend if we're not careful it can happen within a marriage if we're not careful. Maybe you don't see eye to eye at the moment. And even though there's a wonderful history of that friendship or that marriage, in the heat of the moment, if we're not careful and we don't guard our mouth, something can come out that is terribly hurtful and destructive, tearing down the bricks, tearing down the foundation that may even be far beyond the scope of. Of the argument. We've allowed ourselves to be unkind, cruel and hateful. We've used our words in ways that should never come out of our mouth. Proverbs chapter 10 and verse 11. Proverbs 10:11. The mouth of the righteous is a well of life, but violence covers the mouth of the wicked. The violence here isn't physical violence leading to bloodshed. Instead, it's a knife in the heart. Proverbs 12:18. There's one who speaks like the piercings of a sword. Sometimes those words can feel like the piercings of a sword. We don't have to turn there now, but you can write in your notes. James 1:19. So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. Maybe, especially in the heat of a conflict, I won't rehearse some of the terrible things that could be said during that time, but in talking with the kids last night, we were just discussing some things and one of them brought up, you know, it feels good when you don't say the thing that was in your head. And at the end of the confrontation, you can walk away and know you didn't say the thing you shouldn't have said. That feels good, a lot better than the regret. And so one of the examples we thought of that maybe all of us have experienced. Do you ever lose your keys and you know where you placed them last? Right. And it is definitely the other person's fault that they're not where you know you left them. And then you allow yourself to say the words that, why do you always take my keys and put them somewhere else? And then after 20 minutes of searching, you find the keys, and everybody understands that it was actually your fault that they were lost. That is something that could happen. It could be good to learn to restrain those thoughts from coming out of our mouths. Proverbs 29. We're still in proverbs. Proverbs 29:11. A fool. Proverbs 29:11. A fool vents all his feelings, doesn't hold anything back. Vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back. Another area where we might fall short. Maybe we have a tendency to say harsh words when disciplining our children. Certainly we need to discipline them. Certainly they they need that for growth and for maturity. But the words that we say during that time can last with them for a lifetime. And maybe the words that we say during that time are not justified and shouldn't be said, And if he hears them often enough, it may shape his entire future. Negative words. Or maybe it's the words that we say about others who aren't in front of us at the moment. As soon as those words come out of our mouth, while they may taste good, they can have lasting, damaging consequences because like how concrete hardens over time after poured, our perspective of that person takes shape according to the words that we use. Sometimes we want to talk to others about the trouble we're having with another person, but it might be best to just talk to God about it. Or depending on circumstances, maybe you can talk to your minister to help you work through it in a positive way. Talking with a friend about others more often than not becomes less about how you can change or improve your relationship, more about that person and the things you don't like about that person. Proverbs 26: we can turn to Proverbs 26:20. Proverbs 26:20 where there is no wood, the fire goes out and where there's no talebearer, talebearer or gossiper, or whisperer or murmurer, strife ceases. As charcoal is to burning coals and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife. Verse 22 the words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the inmost body. We say, well, well, it's true. How many times have we heard that? Well, it's true. Well, just because it's true doesn't mean that it needs to be. Some things that we should arguably never say Some things that maybe should I say maybe that should not come out of our mouth. I hate you. Those words should never come out of our mouth. And arguably, even if you're playing around and joking, But certainly not with intent. Things that aren't good to say. You always do this, you never do that. That is rarely true, though it feels like it in the moment. The word divorce regarding a marriage between you and your spouse should not come out of your mouth. Our mouths as a serious option. And again, maybe there are some circumstances, but in general it should not come out of our mouth as an option. On the table Bullying words attacking Others character who they are. Those words should not come out of our mouth. And then of course, we've all heard, if you don't have anything good to say, don't say it. A couple of scriptures before we get to the next section about using edifying words. We're not going to turn there. I will give them at least a handful of them. Proverbs 11, 9. The hypocrite with his mouth destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous will be delivered. Proverbs 13, verse 3. He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips wide will have destruction. James 5:9. Do not grumble against one another, brethren, lest you be condemned. Behold, the Judge is standing at the door. In all of our words, we should do everything we can to never say things we regret. And if we have, we can start steering the ship in the other direction. And it doesn't stop there. We need to begin replacing those negative words with uplifting, edifying words. Learning those words, having someone there, patient, to continue to try to teach and to help. Edification of others. Edifying describes something that enlightens or uplifts others or improves a person intellectually, morally, spiritually. It refers to experiences, words or words that help you learn, grow, or become a better person. There's a quote that says, unattributed, before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind of another speak only if it improves upon silence. Then a quote that I think Mr. Weston, I should have asked him beforehand, but something along these lines, does it need to be said? Does it need to be said by me? And is now the time? So thinking about our words and making sure those words are edifying. Proverbs chapter 21 and verse 23. Proverbs 21:23. Again, edifying with our words. Proverbs 21:23. Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles. Boy, just withholding the things that we shouldn't say, we hold our soul from troubles again. If we have nothing good to say, then don't say it. Proverbs 15:23. A man has joy in the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is. If we say the wrong things, we bring regret. If our words are encouraging and uplifting, we can walk away knowing that God may have been able to use us, to have spoken through us, to encourage someone else. Proverbs 25:11. Proverbs 25:11. The words, the right words at the right time are priceless. And we can ask God to put these words in our mouths when we're speaking to others. Proverbs 25 and verse 11. A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. I think about what a beautiful image that is. Apples of gold in settings of silver. So often words that encourage others the most are not the words we spend time thinking about. Oftentimes it's we've prayed about it, we've asked God to put his words in our mouth and that we can encourage others. Proverbs chapter 16. Again, a little going back and forth here in Proverbs 16:24. Pleasant words are like a honeycomb. Proverbs 16:24. Pleasant words are like a honeycomb. Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones. Warming, pleasant, and sincere. Words taste so good to the person hearing them. That person can walk away feeling uplifted, refreshed, encouraged. It can change a terrible day into a great day. It can change a terrible week or months and just be a glimmer of hope that otherwise maybe they haven't experienced recently. The right words at the right time can impact the course of one's life. And some studies that have been done show positive effects on our health by hearing positive, encouraging words. Colossians 4 and verse 6. You can keep your place in Proverbs Colossians 4 and verse 6. Again, edifying with our words. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one. We're to be gracious in our speech, careful with our words. We'll go back To Proverbs chapter 21 here, Proverbs 21, and then we'll read. We'll look at one there and one in Proverbs 31 to see the contrast here. And arguably it doesn't necessarily need to be a woman. Certainly men could be argumentative also. So there's a principle here for sure. Proverbs 21:9. Better to dwell in the corner of a housetop. I think about that boy up in the attic. Kind of have your little place, you know, you can lay on the insulation up there. Be a terrible situation. But it's better to live up there than in a house shared with a contentious woman. Boy. And that's not the only place it says that we understand. Now let's turn to Proverbs 31, 26. Proverbs 31, 26. Quite the opposite here. Proverbs 31, 26. She opens her mouth with wisdom, talking about a wonderful example of a wife, the virtuous wife. In Proverbs 31, she opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness. Quite the opposite. Beautiful, wonderful wife. Things that should be a part of our daily speech. Things we should say, if not daily, then regularly. They should be part of our vocabulary. I love you. And maybe we can show it, but the words are powerful. I love you. Thank you. I appreciate you. I appreciate what you do. And in a right way, I'm proud of you. Not in a weird prideful way, but in a pleased way. With what you've done and the way you're going, the direction that you're going. Great job. Some grow up and never hear these things. I appreciate blank about you. Another. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I'm here for you. You can do it if you put your mind to it. Say the good thing that you feel moved to say. Don't withhold the good when it's in the power of your hand to give it. Sometimes we withhold encouraging words, but we can be moved to give those words to those. To the. To others. A couple of scriptures here that we won't turn to, but I'll just read for as they fit the context. He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction. A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness. Now let's turn to James 3. James, chapter 3. And James talks about our words. First we'll go to James, chapter one and verse 26. James, chapter one and verse 26 dot if anyone among you thinks he's religious and does not bridle the tongue, but deceives his own heart, this one's religion is useless. So our words can counteract all the good things that we may do. Now, James, chapter three and verse two. Starting in verse two. For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he's a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body. Indeed, we put bits in horses mouths that they may obey us and turn their whole body. Look also at ships. Although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. You know, the rudder on a ship is on average 2% of the length of the ship. 2% of the length, yet it steers the whole thing. Same with our tongue. Even so, verse 5. The tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest A little fire kindles. The tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body and sets on fire the course of nature. And it is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird and reptile and creature of the sea is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. We can tame all these animals. We can control the things that happen on earth in many cases. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. We bless our Creator, our God and Father, and with it we curse those who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of our mouth proceed blessing and cursing, my brethren. These things ought not be so. Our words should be filled with edification and uplifting to others. In his interview published on November 29, 1907, he continued the story about being out of being put out of school. I was so hurt by this last straw that I burst out crying and went home to my mother. Then I found what is a good thing, or what a good thing a good mother is? She came out strong as my defender. Mother love was aroused, mother pride wounded to the quick. And she became the most enthusiastic champion a boy ever had. And I determined right then and there that I would be worthy of her and show her that her confidence in me was not misplaced. Thomas Edison said that his mother was the making of him. Let's Turn to Ephesians 4. Ephesians 4, Thinking about our words. To not hurt, but to uplift, to not destroy, but to build. Ephesians 4 and verse 29. And we'll close with this. Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth. But what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.