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Living Emunah By Rabbi David Ashear
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Seeing the Hidden Miracle — The Lesson of Purim
Feb 26Tap to summarizeThere is a fundamental difference between the miracle of Purim and the miracles of the other holidays. On the other holidays, the salvation came through open miracles. The rules of nature were overturned for all to see — the sea split, enemies fell, and the hand of Hashem was revealed in a way no one could deny. Purim, however, was very different. Everything unfolded through what appeared to be the natural course of events. Only someone who studies the entire chain of occurrences over those nine years can see how every detail was being guided and arranged by Hashem to bring salvation to Am Yisrael. This is the greatness of Megillat Esther, where the hashgachah of Hashem is highlighted, teaching us how to recognize Hashem in our own lives the very same way. We do not see open miracles today, but we can certainly see the guiding hand of Hashem in everything that happens to us each and every day. The hashgachah of Hashem is upon everything. Every last detail of every single event is being carefully planned and orchestrated by Hashem for our good. Nothing is random and nothing is overlooked. The more we train ourselves to notice this, the more clearly we will begin to see Hashem's presence in our lives. Megillat Esther was written not merely to tell us what happened then, but to teach us how to view what is happening now. Just as Hashem arranged every seemingly natural event in the Purim story to bring about salvation, so too He arranges every detail in our own lives with the same loving precision. A man related that he was called on a Friday to repair something in a large school building. Since there were no classes that day, only the office staff were present. He entered the assigned room, fixed what needed fixing, and prepared to leave. Instead of exiting through the door he had used to enter, he noticed another door marked "Exit" and went out through it. The door shut behind him — and locked. He suddenly realized he was trapped in a small corridor with no way out. Someone would have to open the door from the other side. He quickly called the school office, but there was no answer. Then he noticed his phone battery was about to die. He forced himself to stay calm and think. What was the shortest, most effective call he could make before the battery died? He called his wife and quickly told her he was stuck in the school and needed someone to open the door. She didn't even have time to respond before the phone went dead. Baruch Hashem, the message got through. She came to the school, found someone, and they opened the door. When he finally stepped outside, he breathed a sigh of relief and said, "If my battery had died ten seconds earlier, I would have been trapped here the entire Shabbat." But his wife, with simple and pure emunah, replied with a sentence that completely changed his understanding: "If the battery had died earlier, Hashem would never have brought you here in the first place — because He wanted you home for Shabbat." At that moment, the man realized something profound. We often thank Hashem for the miracle we see at the end of the story. But true emunah means recognizing that the entire situation was arranged from the beginning so that the outcome could unfold exactly as it did. The battery did not almost die too early. It had precisely the amount of charge it was meant to have — not one percent more, and not one percent less. A person may think his salvation depended on quick thinking, on making the right phone call, or on the last bar of battery. In truth, the salvation began long before, exactly as Hashem planned it. The battery did not save him. Hashem saved him. And once Hashem decided he would be home for Shabbat, no locked door, no empty building, and no dying phone could change that. Hashem calculates our lives down to the smallest details. Our job is to learn to recognize His loving hand in everything that takes place.
Transcribe →The Gift Hidden Inside the Opportunity
Feb 25Tap to summarizeThe Zohar HaKadosh (Vayikra ק״ד ) teaches that because Hashem is so loving and merciful, when a harsh decree hangs over a person, Hashem sends him a precious gift that can help annul it. That gift often comes in the form of a mitzvah opportunity. The example the Zohar gives is when a poor person comes asking for charity. If the person seizes the opportunity and gives with generosity and a good heart, he draws upon himself a special protection that can ward off the decree. The Midrash in Vayikra Rabbah teaches: יותר ממה שבעל הבית עושה עם העני — העני עושה עם בעל הבית — more than the giver does for the poor man, the poor man does for the giver. The poor man grants the giver life, livelihood, and success. A giver may feel the poor person is indebted to him, but in truth, it is often the other way around. Rabbi Sneer Guetta related a story he heard from someone who knew it firsthand. It took place about forty years ago in Israel. One day a man named Avi was arranging the bins in front of his vegetable store when he noticed an infant lying in a broken carriage, covered with a dirty blanket, with no adult nearby. He began asking the people around if the baby belonged to them, but they all said no. Avi waited several minutes and still no one came. Finally he saw a woman searching through a garbage pail and went over to ask her. She said the baby was hers and apologized for worrying him. Avi immediately understood that she was in desperate financial straits and told her that he wanted to take upon himself the responsibility of supporting her child. He instructed her to come once a month to pick up an envelope with money, and that whenever she needed, she could simply come to the store and take whatever food the baby required. The woman burst into tears and thanked him from the depths of her heart. And indeed, every month she came for the envelope, and often she came for food. This arrangement continued not for one year, not for two years, but for more than twenty years. Avi never told her "enough already." He never limited what she could take. Then one day he received a call from a young man who told him, "You are an angel sent from Heaven." Avi did not understand what he meant. The young man introduced himself as Shimon and said he was engaged to Emily — the girl Avi had been supporting for the past twenty years. Avi was overjoyed to hear she was engaged. Shimon continued that his own family was well-established and from now on he himself would support Emily, so Avi could stop preparing the monthly envelopes. To Shimon's surprise, Avi pleaded with him to allow him to continue supporting her. Shimon could not understand. She no longer needed the money. Why insist? Avi then told him the story. Twenty years earlier, Avi had become entangled with dangerous criminals. One day they came to his store armed with guns and attempted to kill him. Miraculously he escaped. Shaken, he went to a great rabbi to ask what he should do — whether he should flee the country or change his identity. The rabbi told him he was certain that Hashem operates by the principle of מדה כנגד מדה so that if he would give life to another, Hashem would give life to him. He advised Avi to find someone whose life he could sustain. Avi answered that he did not know of anyone. The rabbi told him to pray that Hashem would send him the opportunity. The very next day Avi found that abandoned baby outside his store. From that day forward, he understood that supporting her was the mission that was sustaining his own life. Now he begged to be allowed to continue. Shimon listened, but he still felt that once Emily no longer needed the support, it would not be proper tzedakah. He asked Avi to hold off on sending the next envelope while he considered the matter. That very week, the criminals returned — and this time they took Avi's life. It was clear that his allotted time had come, and that the twenty years Hashem had granted him through that mitzvah had reached their end. The man who told Rabbi Guetta this story had been at Avi's funeral and personally confirmed the details. Most of the time, the effects of giving are not so dramatic or visible. But the lesson remains the same: whenever we help another person or give charity, we must realize that it is we who are gaining the most.
Transcribe →Words That Give Strength
Feb 24Tap to summarizeThere are times in life when a person's struggle is not only the difficulty he is facing, but the loneliness he feels while going through it. A person may believe in Hashem his entire life. He knows the teachings of emunah. He knows that Hashem runs the world — yet inside he is still shaking. Not because he stopped believing, but because the burden feels too heavy to carry alone. At such times, a few words of chizuk can give a person tremendous strength. A man once told me he had been going through a very painful situation. For months he was living with uncertainty about his livelihood. Every morning he woke up with the same knot in his stomach. He tried to learn, he tried to pray, but inside he felt drained. One day he spoke to his rabbi and told him everything he was going through. The rabbi listened with empathy and then told him that he needed to know that Hashem was worrying about his bills more than he was. Hashem loves him with an infinite love — more than a father could ever love his son — and would never abandon him in his time of need. The message lasted less than thirty seconds. Yet the man later said those few words lifted a weight off his chest that he had been carrying for months. Nothing changed externally. The bills were still there. The uncertainty was still there. But instead of feeling alone, he felt accompanied — and not just by anyone, but by the Creator of the world Who loves him so much. Within a few weeks, his situation changed for the better. He later said the salvation did not begin the day the money came. It began the day the rabbi reminded him that Hashem was with him. It should be pointed out that although words of chizuk can help tremendously, there is a time and a place for them. Sometimes a person is not ready to hear those words. He first needs a listening ear and empathy. Furthermore, it must come from the right person and be said in the right way, because if it is not delivered properly, it could have the opposite effect. But when the right words are spoken, they can do wonders. I read a story from the Chafetz Chaim Heritage Foundation about a girl named Rivka who discovered she had a serious kidney condition when she gave birth to her first baby. The medicine she was given not only failed to help, it attacked the nerves in her inner ear, leaving her constantly dizzy and nauseous. She could not even hold her new baby. The young mother was brokenhearted from all her troubles. One day she sought help from a neurologist experienced with vertigo. He told her there was not much he could do and that she should arrange for someone else to help care for her baby. She was so distraught by those words that she stumbled out of his office to the sidewalk and into a waiting cab, where her tears began to flow. After a few moments, the Jewish driver gently asked if he could listen to her problem. For some reason, Rivka later said, she told him her entire story. After hearing everything, he spoke in a tone that stirred her courage. "Listen," he said, "promise me that when you walk into the house you will be smiling. Then your husband and parents will smile. You are like the carousel. When you move, the horses move and the music plays. If you smile, everyone will smile too. I will see you again in the future, and you will be doing fine." Rivka never met that driver again. But his encouraging words changed her perspective and infused her with new energy. She was not the horse being dragged around in circles — she was the carousel. Whichever direction she chose, her world would move with her. Those wise and compassionate words became her motto during her difficult period and continued giving her the strength she needed to keep going through her ups and downs. The right words, spoken at the right time, can truly change a person's life.
Transcribe →Created for Eternal Delight
Feb 23Tap to summarizeOur rabbis teach that we were created to perform a mission in this world so that we may enjoy the eternal bliss of the next. The task we are given is to serve Hashem from the exact place and circumstances in which He puts us. Every person receives a different life and a different set of conditions. If he fulfills the role Hashem sent him here to perform within those conditions, he will merit the delights of the World to Come. The Gemara teaches that no human eye has ever seen what the World to Come truly is — only Hashem knows its nature. When a person leaves this world, his soul enters Gan Eden, the world of souls, but Olam HaBa will only begin after the days of Mashiach. If we could imagine gathering the greatest pleasures ever experienced in this world since the beginning of time, compressing them into a single capsule, and a person were to swallow it, the joy he would feel at that moment would not even approach one second of the pleasure of Olam HaBa. This world is fleeting and its pleasures are finite. The World to Come is everlasting, and its pleasure never ends. Everything that Hashem does with a person in this world is with both worlds in mind. Hashem wants us to have the ultimate eternal pleasure, and therefore He guides us here in the precise way needed to attain it. The Mesillat Yesharim describes the pleasure of the World to Come as the soul "basking in the radiance of the Shechinah." This is a spiritual delight beyond our comprehension, because we live in physical bodies. It is a closeness to Hashem so profound that the pleasure cannot be described. In His great love, Hashem even gave us ways to taste a faint semblance of that future bliss already in this world. The Chazon Ish wrote a sefer on Emunah and Bitachon that was not published during his lifetime. Some say this was because he did not want people to recognize the extraordinary heights of Emunah he had reached, which are evident from his writings. In that work he explains that when a person truly grasps the reality of Hashem's existence, he is immediately filled with a boundless inner jubilation. His soul becomes suffused with sweetness. He tastes the sweetness of Hashem, and his desire for physical pleasures begins to fall away, while his delicate neshamah becomes enveloped in holiness, almost as if it has separated from the body and risen to the highest heavens. A new world opens before him. It is possible for a person even in this world to have moments in which he resembles an angel and actually delights in the glory of Hashem. At such times, all the pleasures of this world are like nothing compared to the joy of cleaving to his beloved Creator. The Chazon Ish himself clearly experienced such moments. When a person internalizes the reality of Hashem's presence, he can already experience a taste of the eternal pleasures that await. The closer we draw to Hashem in this world and the more we cling to Him, the more pleasure we will experience — both here and in the next.
Transcribe →Making a Place for Hashem — Parashat Terumah
Feb 20Tap to summarizeThe pasuk says in this week's Parashat Terumah, וְעָשׂוּ לִי מִקְדָּשׁ וְשָׁכַנְתִּי בְּתוֹכָם Hashem commanded the Jewish people to make a Mishkan so that He could rest His Presence among them. Obviously, the Presence of Hashem cannot be contained in a physical building. Perhaps one of the lessons we can learn from here is that if we make a place for Hashem to come into our lives, He will reveal His Presence to us in ways that can transcend nature. How do we make that place? By believing in His control and His abilities. The Be'er HaParasha related a story that recently took place, heard directly from the man involved. A man whom we'll call Yehuda had just merited his first baby after four years of marriage. Last year on Chol HaMoed Pesach he was learning the sefer Netivot Shalom, and there he read that if a person has proper emunah — namely, that nothing is hard for Hashem and He can always help no matter what the issue is — then he can merit his own personal Keriat Yam Suf. The sefer advised having those thoughts and feelings especially on the seventh day of Pesach, when Keriat Yam Suf occurred. Yehuda came home that day very excited to put into practice what he had just learned. He was going to work on believing that Hashem can do anything, including giving him and his wife a baby. He also invited his sister to stay with them for Shevi'i shel Pesach, as she had been struggling with shidduchim for almost seven years. He wanted her to also have this emunah so she could have her very own Keriat Yam Suf as well. They read stories about emunah and statements of Chazal about Hashem, and they truly took to heart that Hashem could help them in an instant. They felt so strong in their emunah that they could already feel the joy of salvation. Now, less than a year later, on the Sunday of Parashat Beshalach, this sister celebrated her wedding. And on Tuesday of Parashat Beshalach, Yehuda and his wife celebrated the birth of their very first baby. True belief in Hashem's salvation can do wonders. A woman told me she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and was instructed to schedule surgery immediately to have it removed. The doctors sounded very negative and instilled a great deal of fear in her. She is a woman who learns emunah daily and refused to let the diagnosis overtake her. She focused on emunah, on Hashem, and on praying, and two weeks later the surgery was done. They told her they believed they removed everything, but she would need months of chemotherapy going forward. She asked them to please take a biopsy before starting any chemo. They told her it was ninety-nine percent certain cancer and she would definitely need treatment. She answered, "I am going to be from the one percent. Please check it." She then went and strengthened her emunah even more, reviewing articles she had saved about how doctors' prognoses are meaningless when it comes to Hashem. She even sent them to her family to strengthen them as well. At the next appointment she asked again if they had taken the biopsy. Once again they told her it was ninety-nine percent a problem, but they had done the test and were waiting for results. Once again she said, "Ninety-nine percent means there is one percent that it is fine, and I believe Hashem can put me in that one percent." The next day, Erev Shabbat, she received a call from one of the doctors who told her, "Your prayers must have been answered. Everything is fine. You don't need any chemotherapy." She felt the greatest feeling — the feeling of Hashem's salvation, the feeling that her emunah was rewarded. She was overwhelmed with gratitude. The more we want Hashem in our lives, the more He reveals Himself to us. Shabbat Shalom.
Transcribe →When Hashem Hurts With Us: Discovering His Love in Our Pain
Jan 27Tap to summarizeHashem wants us to learn about Him from the way He revealed Himself at Yetziat Mitzrayim. The pesukim tell us again and again how we are meant to see that Hashem is the only One who controls everything that happens in this world. There are people who believe that everything that happens to them is from Hashem, yet when they go through prolonged difficulties, they have complaints, feeling that they are being dealt with unfairly. To know that Hashem controls everything is not enough. We also need to know how loving and merciful He is. When Moshe Rabbeinu asked Hashem, "Why are You dealing so harshly with the Jewish people?" Hashem answered him that He is Hashem. The Targum Yonatan explains that Hashem told him, "I am the Hashem who appeared to you at the burning bush." How do we understand this response? How does this explain why He was dealing with the Jewish people so harshly? The Maharal writes that there are different levels of love between people. When it comes to true friends, each one will participate in the happy occasions of the other. But the greatest expression of love is when one friend is in pain because the other one is hurting. It is much easier to celebrate with a friend than to feel hurt when he is hurt. When a person is in pain because his friend is in pain, that shows that his life is not a life without his friend. He cannot enjoy his own life knowing that his friend is in trouble. When Hashem appeared to Moshe at the burning bush, one of the reasons He came to him in a thorn bush was to show Moshe that He was in pain because of the pain that the Jewish people were experiencing. The Midrash says, look at how much Hashem loves us. He calls us His daughter and His sister and His mother. The Maharal says, if it didn't say it, we wouldn't be allowed to say it ourselves. But everyone knows that a child cannot exist without first having a mother. Although Hashem does not need anyone or anything, He calls us His mother to tell us that because of His great love for us, He makes Himself feel as if He needs us to exist. This love is shown most clearly by Hashem feeling the pain of every single Jew when he is in pain. So when Moshe Rabbeinu asked Hashem, "Why are You treating the Jewish people so harshly in Mitzrayim?" Hashem replied to him by reminding him immediately about the vision he had at the burning bush. If a doctor were operating on a patient and causing the patient pain, a relative of that patient might question the doctor and ask why he was operating in such a painful way when perhaps there was a less painful method. But if the doctor were operating on his own child, no one would ask any questions, because they would know that he is doing the surgery in the best possible way. Hashem was telling Moshe that the question of "Why am I hurting My nation?" is invalid, because I am their loving Father. I am treating them in the best possible way for them. When they are hurting, I am hurting. We must understand how much Hashem loves us. The Midrash asks, why did Hashem appear to Moshe in a thorn bush? One of the answers it gives is because a thorn bush is the lowest of all trees in terms of humility. There is no apparent purpose to it. It does not seem to provide any benefit. So too, that is how the Jewish nation looked in Mitzrayim, like people with nothing going for them. They had fallen almost to the forty-ninth level of tumah. They were idol worshippers. They had no zechuyot to be redeemed. Yet Hashem came and showed Moshe that if He could rest His presence in a thorn bush, He could redeem a nation that looked like a thorn bush. Because Hashem's love for us does not depend on our deeds. He loves us more than a parent could ever love a child. Even though Hashem gave us the mitzvah of Milah and Pesach before we left Mitzrayim, that was after He had already performed nine makkot and had everything set for the geulah. He did not first require us to have zechuyot to be saved. He saved us because He loves us. The Shem mishmuel said on the words "raoh raeety" that Hashem told Moshe, even though I see them after Matan Torah worshipping the Eigel, I am still going to redeem them. Hashem's love for us is unfathomable. If a person asks, "Why is Hashem doing bad to me?" it just means that he has not yet comprehended the love that Hashem has for him. Hashem feels his pain more than he does. He is only doing the best possible thing for him. If we could feel even a small part of the true love that Hashem has for us, we would be able to live more happily no matter what we are going through.
Transcribe →The Strength to Persevere
Jan 26Tap to summarizeIf a person is going through a difficult time, it is very easy for him to blame other people and circumstances for it. It may seem that someone was directly responsible for causing the difficulty. It may seem that if certain things were done differently, it could have been avoided. And so the person thinks about all the "what if's" and how things should have been different. It is during these times that a person has a big opportunity to shine, to see through what meets the eye and recognize that it was Hashem who was behind it all. Although what happened might not seem to be fair, it's up to the person to say, "It must be for my best, I will not blame anyone. I will accept that this is from Hashem. I will do my best to maintain loving and peaceful relationships with all of those around me." This avodah is extremely valuable. It could very well be that one of the reasons the difficulty occurred was specifically to give the person the opportunity to go through it with emunah which will then open the door for Hashem to shower him with blessing. I read a story in the Machon Shaar HaBitachon that a man, who we'll call Shimon, related about how he became extremely wealthy. He said he is the youngest in a large family. His father worked hard to provide for them and managed to marry off all of them. All of his brothers got apartments, but when it was his turn, his father had already gotten sick and a short while later he passed away. After the shiva, his brothers sat together to discuss how to divide up the estate. Shimon was sure he was going to get his father's apartment since he was the only one who didn't get one. But not everybody felt the same way and being that there were a total of ten brothers, there were many different opinions. The majority consensus was to sell the apartment and divide the proceeds equally, but that was going to take time. In the meantime, Shimon had to rent his own apartment with no financial help. He was so upset, he went to his rabbi and asked if he could halachically demand the apartment for himself, after all, everyone else got their own apartment and his father was going to get him one too. The rabbi said, "You have a great case, but I have a piece of advice for you that will gain you much more: Shalom is worth millions. Don't fight with them. Accept your lot in order to gain peace and you'll see you'll only gain from it." Shimon took the rabbi's advice. It was not easy, being that his family was growing and he really needed the money. From then on, each time he passed his childhood home he would think of his brothers, living peacefully in their own homes while he had to work day and night to cover his rent. He wished he was able to accept this inwardly with more happiness, but he wasn't on the level yet. Nonetheless, outwardly he was able to maintain shalom and that avodah elevated him greatly. He decided to learn a profession and started advertising a service that he could provide. In the beginning, the customers came in a slight trickle, but after a while they were coming in droves. He had to hire more workers and open more branches and after a few years he was earning millions. Hashem sent His blessing in a way he could never have imagined. At one point, one of his brothers who had been opposed to giving him that apartment, needed a medical procedure that cost a half a million dollars that he couldn't afford. Shimon heroically stepped up and paid for the entire procedure out of his own pocket. He did not take revenge or bear a grudge. And he testified that after that episode, his business success began to hit new levels. His ability to rise above the difficult circumstance he was put in opened the door for Hashem's blessings to come pouring in. While going through any difficulty, it's very hard to do it with emunah. But with a little chizuk, everyone can find within themselves the strength to persevere.
Transcribe →Seeing Only Hashem
Jan 23Tap to summarizeIn this week's parashah, Bo, we learn about the final three makkot. Chazal tell us that a large number of Jews passed away during the makkah of Choshech. Rav Shlomo Kluger writes that the people who died in Choshech were those who did not have enough emunah to follow Hashem into the desert. They wanted the others to first go and conquer the land, and only then would they be willing to follow later. The Rav adds that all of those neshamot were destined to come back into the world in the final generation before Mashiach, and their job would be to overcome very difficult tests in the area of emunah. If they succeed, they will make their tikkun and live on for all eternity. One of the most difficult parts of emunah is when a person is harmed by another individual. The natural reaction is to think that the other person used his free will to do wrong and that it was not from Hashem, chas v'shalom. The Sefer HaChinuch, in the mitzvah of lo tikom v'lo titor, as well as other sources, teach us that even though the person who caused the harm did use his free will and is fully accountable for his actions, it was only able to happen because it was the will of Hashem for the person to be affected that way. Nothing can ever happen to a person through a baal bechirah unless Hashem wants it to happen to him first, and always for his best. The Yitev Lev writes that one of the lessons we learn from Yetziat Mitzrayim is that when a person causes harm to another, the one who received the harm must take to heart that it was Hashem who was giving life to the one who harmed him, and that person was only His messenger. The Maggid of Mezritch writes that when a person is causing harm to another and the one who is being harmed fully believes that it is only coming from Hashem and that it is for his absolute best, that belief nullifies all the judgments against him. The Passu says כִּי הִנֵּה אֹיְבֶיךָ ה', כִּי הִנֵּה אֹיְבֶיךָ יֹאבֵדוּ. The Yitev Lev explains that when a person knows that his enemies are being sent by Hashem כִּי הִנֵּה אֹיְבֶיךָ-- ה, then הִנֵּה אֹיְבֶיךָ יֹאבֵדוּ, those enemies will stop bothering him. All of the stress and heartache caused by other people is simply Hashem giving a person what he needs in order to fulfill his mission in this world. When a person fully believes that it is really Hashem and not the one who appears to be doing it, that itself can accomplish the tikkun that he needs. It is extremely hard to take the person out of the picture and honestly feel that he is not responsible for the harm. When Yosef HaTzaddik revealed himself to his brothers, he said to them, "I am Yosef, your brother, whom you sold to Egypt." The Or HaChaim HaKadosh explains that Yosef was telling them that even while they were selling him, he still felt close to them like a brother. How could Yosef possibly have felt that way? Because when Shimon and Levi were lowering him into the pit with snakes and scorpions, all he saw was Hashem in control. As he later said, "It was not you who sent me here, but only Hashem." With the proper outlook, we too can live our lives with this emunah, seeing only Hashem in everything that happens. Rabbi Menashe Reizman said to imagine how the newspaper articles would read if the Chafetz Chaim were writing them. Of course, HaKadosh Baruch Hu would be in every headline. It would say: Hashem made it that this person was attacked. Hashem made it that this person was arrested. Hashem made it that this person won the lottery. We hope that we are living in the generation of Mashiach, and if our tikkun is to pass the test of emunah, we must take this message to heart and understand that people cannot harm us or give us anything. Everything happens only by the word of Hashem, and it is always for our best. Shabbat Shalom.
Transcribe →When Giving In Becomes Winning
Jan 22Tap to summarizeA rabbi was once trying to give chizuk to his student to be mevater regarding an argument he was having with someone else. The student said, "But Rabbi, I'm right on this one." The rabbi answered him, "Vatranut is not when you're ninety-nine percent right and the other person is one percent right. Vatranut is when you're one hundred percent right — and you still give in." Rav Steinman zt"l used to say, "My whole life, I never saw anyone give in and lose as a result." When a person does give in and it appears that he lost, he must know that he has a golden opportunity to capitalize on. When a person maintains his emunah in Hashem at a time when things seem so off, he can rise to great levels and earn endless reward. We need chizuk to be able to hold on and continue trusting in Hashem, especially when it seems that the good person loses while the one who did wrong is gaining. But if we are able to do it, we will gain so much. A man named Yaakov told me that about five years ago, his wife told him it was time for them and their six children to move from an apartment into a house. In the area where they lived, houses were very expensive. He called a real estate agent and said he could afford a total of $1.8 million. If he found something that needed fixing, he would pay $1.2 million and use $600,000 to renovate. Yaakov mentioned to people that he was looking, and one man he knew told him he was planning to sell his home, which was close to where Yaakov was living. Yaakov knew that house well. It was a house he wished he could afford, but he knew it would be far beyond his budget. The man invited him to come see it anyway. The house was spectacular, and the owner told Yaakov that whoever offered closest to three million dollars would get it. Yaakov discussed it with his wife, and they thought of a plan that would enable them to offer more than they originally thought they could afford. He offered $2.675 million, and the man accepted. They closed the deal, signed the contract, and Yaakov made the first payment and placed it in escrow. All that was left was for the lawyer to release the money to the owner. Yaakov assumed he would be moving in very shortly. But when he called the owner to discuss it, he did not answer. Yaakov called every day for four days, with no response. Finally, he received a voicemail from the owner saying that he realized he could get much more for the house and wanted Yaakov to pay $300,000 more. Yaakov called him back and said the deal was already closed. The owner refused to back down, and they ended up in beit din. In Yaakov's mind, it was an open-and-shut case. But the owner's lawyer told Yaakov's lawyer that he knew how to avoid reaching a conclusion in beit din and would never let them win. Yaakov was shocked. He called his rabbi, who said that under those circumstances they would be allowed to go to secular court. As they moved to the next stage of the dispute, Yaakov's wife told him that she no longer wanted that house. She said she did not want to live in a house that came through machloket, even though it was their dream home and even though she desperately wanted to move. Yaakov called his rabbi again, and the rabbi told him that he would definitely see blessing by giving in and avoiding machloket. Yaakov then called the owner, dropped the case, and asked only for his money back. He expected that in the next few weeks the heavens would open and shower him with blessing. But nothing happened. A year and a half went by, and they were still living in the same apartment. One day, a real estate agent called and offered him that same house which was now selling for $3.5 million. Eventually, it sold for $3.8 million. Yaakov called his rabbi again, asking where the blessing was. The man who had backed out had made more than a million dollars, and he was still stuck in his apartment. The rabbi told him, "No Jew was ever mevater and regretted it. You will see blessing." Another year and a half went by. Then a real estate agent called him to see a very nice house for sale. When Yaakov heard which house it was, he immediately said it would be far beyond his budget. The agent encouraged him to look anyway. The house was beyond anything he had ever imagined. He recognized the owner as a cousin of his, and after touring the house, they spoke together. Because they were family, the owner made him a generous offer. The house was selling for five million dollars, but he told Yaakov he would sell it to him for $3.8 million, and allow him to pay the remaining $1.2 million in eighteen months with no interest. They shook hands, overwhelmed with gratitude to Hashem. A few hours later, Yaakov received a call from the owner of the house, who quoted to him a line from the Gemara that when someone gives another person a present, he is obligated to inform him of it. He explained that he had originally been dealing with someone else who wanted to buy the house, but that person wanted to move in before Pesach, and he himself did not want to leave until after Pesach. That buyer had just called back and said he was willing to wait until after Pesach and was now offering six million dollars upfront. The owner told that man, "It looks like Hashem doesn't want you to have this house, because He just sent me someone else a couple of hours ago." Then he said to Yaakov, "The house is yours, because I already agreed to sell it to you, and I will not back out. If you want, you could flip it right now, sell it for six million dollars, and make a profit." Yaakov was floored. He stood there frozen, not believing the words he had just heard. When he told his wife, she had the same reaction. Here Hashem showed him so clearly how giving in was being rewarded. He received the house of his dreams in a wondrous way, and today he is living there happily, Baruch Hashem. In the end, that first house he had been going to buy is still having problems, and the sale was never even completed. A person who is mevater will never regret it. It may take years to see the blessing, but eventually it will come.
Transcribe →You Never Lose by Doing What Is Right
Jan 21Tap to summarizeChazal tell us, "Ein adam shome'a leey u'mafsid" — no one ever listens to Hashem and loses. When a person acts according to the will of Hashem, he always gains. He may not see the gain immediately. He may not see any result right away. But in the end, he always wins. Sometimes Hashem gives a person a very difficult test. If he acts honestly, he may lose money. If he speaks truthfully, he may lose an opportunity. If he refuses to cut corners, he may lose a deal, a job, or a position. And then the thought creeps in, "If I had just been a little less careful, I would have gained so much." But that thought is a mistake. It may look like he lost in the short term, but in the end he will only gain from doing what was right. Rarely do we see the reward immediately. Most of the time, the benefit comes later, in a way we never could have imagined. But when we do merit to see the reward right away, it gives us tremendous chizuk. An avreich from New York told the following story. His parents live in London, and from time to time he travels there with his family to visit them. One winter day, he traveled with his wife and children — five people altogether. There were many delays at the airport. When boarding finally began, he realized there were only a few minutes left to pray Mincha. As soon as he started the Amidah, an announcement was made: the flight was overbooked, and they were looking for volunteers to get off the plane. Anyone who agreed would receive a ticket for the next day and compensation of one thousand dollars. A thought flashed through his mind. Five people. Five thousand dollars. Money he could certainly use. He was about to raise his hand, but then he stopped himself. He was standing before Melech Malchei HaMelachim. It is forbidden to interrupt the Amidah, even with a gesture. The yetzer hara whispered, "You already lost your concentration. Make the sign quickly, and then you'll go back to praying properly." But he strengthened himself and said, "If this money is meant for me, Hashem will give it to me without my doing something forbidden." He continued praying with all his heart. A few moments after he finished, another announcement was made. Since no volunteers had come forward, the compensation was now raised to two thousand five hundred dollars per passenger. He went to the counter and accepted the offer. Later, he calculated. Five thousand dollars for changing the flight. And seven thousand five hundred dollars for not interrupting his prayer. Another woman told me her story. Her family had grown, several children were already married, and she no longer had room to host them. She and her husband were looking to buy a bigger home, but they did not want to leave their neighborhood. One day, a real estate agent called with an unbelievable opportunity. A huge lot with a small house in the exact area they wanted, at a price that almost never exists. They could buy it cheaply and use the extra money to build their dream home. Then they discovered that buying this property would seriously harm someone else. Without hesitation, she said no. People told them they were foolish. "Opportunities like this don't come twice," they said. But she refused. Less than two weeks later, the agent called again. Just one block away, an even better property was about to go on the market. Same size lot, similar house — and one hundred twenty-five thousand dollars cheaper. They bought it, built exactly what they needed, and saw clearly how Hashem had rewarded them for doing what was right. Most of the time, we do not see immediately how much we gain by choosing Hashem. But the rule never changes. No one ever lost by doing the will of Hashem. No one ever sacrificed for Hashem and came out the loser. In the end — always — the one who chooses what is right is the one who wins.
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