Faith Crisis: What Do We Do When We Feel Like We’re Failing?

Summary

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Living Influence – Episode Summary

Faith Crisis: What Do We Do When We Feel Like We’re Failing?

Hosts: Bill Thrall & Scott Boyd
Date: March 12, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Bill Thrall and Scott Boyd tackle the deeply personal topic of the "faith crisis"—the experience of wondering why, despite being a long-term Christian, life still feels stuck, hopeless, or overwhelming. The hosts explore why so many Christians struggle with discouragement, shame, and doubt, and they offer a vision for moving forward: embracing being known, trusted, and loved in the midst of crisis. They challenge the difference between “Christianity” and “Christ,” emphasize the healing power of grace-filled relationships, and create a safe space for listeners to reconsider and own their doubts.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recognizing the Faith Crisis ([00:55]–[02:07])

• Scott frames the episode by painting a relatable portrait of the believer in crisis: stuck in marriage, work struggles, parenting transitions, or personal anxiety. He references the pursuit of solutions that don't seem to work—counseling, seeking the right sermon, trying harder with discipline, or even suppressing emotions.
• Quote (Scott, 00:55): “Okay, so here I am, I'm in a crisis. And I've tried counseling. I don't know if it's working... I just gotta push those [emotions] down.”

2. The Real Source of Hope: Christ, Not "Christianity" ([02:07]–[07:05])

• Bill distinguishes the person of Christ from “Christianity” or Church systems:
  • Many believers are asking, “Why isn’t Christianity working for me?” but, as Bill notes, “the answer is not in Christianity... The answer is in Christ.”
  • Churches often focus on behavior or suppressing vulnerabilities rather than on transforming relationships with Christ.
• Quote (Bill, 02:38): “The answer is in Christ… There are reasons that Christians are living in crises because they have not been taught to understand that it's critical that their life be known and that the issues of their life be known… so somebody in love can actually protect them in their stuff to free them from their stuff.”
• The tragic outcome: many believers feel unable or afraid to admit their struggles, not understanding they’ve already been made “righteous” in Christ and striving for what’s already been given.
• Quote (Bill, 05:38): “All your striving to become godly is going to put you in crisis because you already are righteous. That's who you are.”

3. The Power of Admitting Need ([07:05]–[09:34])

• Voldemort Cole shares about the tendency to minimize one’s crisis, recalling a mentor who encouraged him to just own the reality of his pain.
• The group discusses shame and image-management as barriers:
  • We fear being truly known because it could shatter the image we hold.
• Quote (Bill, 09:11): “We have this innate desire to be known well, to be thought of well. And if I have a problem, then there must be something that I can't share because it'll break down the image.”
• Referencing John Lynch: “What if I was in a place where the worst of me was known and I would be loved more for the telling of it?”

4. The Healing Power of Vulnerability and Connection ([09:34]–[12:19])

• Vulnerability leads to connection.
  • Trusting someone with our true stories inspires love, not rejection.
  • Humility is defined as “trusting others with me.” When we share authentically, people are drawn to us; the opposite is true for pride.
• Quote (Scott, 10:04): “That's proof for this statement we make so often that humility is trusting others with me.”
• When we allow ourselves to be loved—rather than striving or hiding—grace can enter and begin to heal.
• Quote (Bill, 10:50): “When we actually trust each other, we experience grace in our relationship because it frees us to love.”

5. Practical Steps in Crisis: Seek Safe People ([12:23]–[16:07])

• The necessity of trusted relationships.
  • Bill tells a powerful story of a former gang leader whose life radically changed when he experienced being loved for the first time.
  • The beginning of healing isn’t just telling our story, but telling it to those who truly love us.
• Quote (Bill, 16:09): “Here's what we need to learn to do: we need to learn to tell our stories to people who will love us so we can deal with the reality of our story.”
• Voldemort Cole, 12:19: “How do I receive help?... I have great need.”
  • Bill: “What if a solution, or maybe even the solution to your crisis would be to trust somebody so they can love you? Love has a profound ability to heal.”

6. Re-examining Faith in the Midst of Crisis ([16:23]–[20:12])

• It's okay to question.
  • Bill encourages listeners not to shy away from re-examining the object of their faith, suggesting that sometimes we’ve been focusing on symptoms rather than the root.
  • It’s not faith in “Christianity” or the church, but faith in Jesus—the one whose acceptance is foundational.
• Quote (Bill, 16:34): “There's never a time where it is not all right to re-examine the object of your faith.”
• Quote (Bill, 17:34): “Did Jesus let me down? Is that what I believe?... this would be a really good time to re-examine the object of your faith.”
• Community is essential: Bring doubts to trusted friends and process together.
• Quote (Voldemort Cole, 19:14): “Sometimes I... just can't process what I really am wrestling with about the nature of Jesus. I can go sideways. And having trusted friends like this to be able to just say, this is where I'm at.”

7. Final Reflections: Grace, Faith, and Letting Go ([18:44]–[20:53])

• Moving from striving to resting in Christ.

  • Scott finds release in realizing that it’s not about having “more trust,” but about who we are trusting—Jesus, the "perfecter of faith."
  • Allowing ourselves to relax in Christ's sufficiency leads to relief, growth, and the ability to embrace grace for ourselves.

• Quote (Scott, 18:52): “It's about who I'm trusting. Somehow when I let that be true, I can relax a little bit and… life gets a little easier.”

• Bill, 20:53: “Who's an amazing person.”

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Memorable Moments and Quotes with Timestamps

• [02:38] Bill Thrall: “The answer is in Christ… because it's critical that their life be known and that the issues of their life be known.”
• [05:38] Bill Thrall: “All your striving to become godly is going to put you in crisis because you already are righteous.”
• [09:11] Bill Thrall: “We have this innate desire to be known well, to be thought of well. And if I have a problem, then there must be something that I can't share because it'll break down the image.”
• [10:04] Scott Boyd: “That's proof for this statement we make so often that humility is trusting others with me.”
• [10:50] Bill Thrall: “When we actually trust each other, we experience grace in our relationship because it frees us to love.”
• [12:33] Bill Thrall: “What if a solution, or maybe even the solution to your crisis would be to trust somebody so they can love you? Love has a profound ability to heal.”
• [16:09] Bill Thrall: “We need to learn to tell our stories to people who will love us so we can deal with the reality of our story.”
• [16:34] Bill Thrall: “There's never a time where it is not all right to re-examine the object of your faith.”
• [18:52] Scott Boyd: “It's about who I'm trusting. Somehow when I let that be true, I can relax a little bit and… life gets a little easier.”

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Notable Segment Timestamps

• 00:55–02:07: Setting up the faith crisis and feelings of failure
• 02:07–07:05: The distinction between Christ and “Christianity” as the answer
• 09:11–10:50: Vulnerability, humility, and building trust in relationships
• 12:33–16:09: Love as the true path forward; the story of healing through being loved
• 16:34–18:52: Permission to question faith and explore doubts safely
• 18:44–20:53: The relief of trusting in Jesus versus effortful striving

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Tone & Language

The episode is gentle, compassionate, conversational, and distinctly grace-oriented. The hosts invite listeners into a posture of authenticity, vulnerability, and hopeful questioning, avoiding harsh doctrine or platitudes. They share stories, affirm weak moments, and focus on Jesus’ sufficiency and the transformative power of being fully known and loved.

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For Listeners: Key Takeaways

• You’re not alone if you’re feeling stuck or doubting your faith.
• The real answer isn’t more effort, discipline, or religious activity—it’s real connection with Christ and trusted others.
• Vulnerability and humility build trust and healing.
• It’s okay (even healthy) to question, explore doubts, and re-examine the core object of your faith.
• Find and cultivate relationships where you can be truly known and loved, because that’s where grace and transformation begin.

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(If you need to revisit certain ideas, refer to the timestamped sections above for deeper listening.)

Transcript

[Scott Boyd]

Hey, guys, I just want to tell you about something else that Bill Voldemort and I are working on. It's called Living Influence Leadership. It's for business leaders who also happen to be Christians. We think we've got some great stuff that can be amazing in your company as it was in mine. Check us [e-mail] welcome to this week's episode of Living Influence. I'm your host, Scott Boyd, along with my friends Bill Thrall and Voldemort Cole. And we've got a book coming out, Living Influence. Encourage you to go to our website, livinginfluence.com, you can find out a little bit about that. This week we're going to talk about the Christian, the long term Christian that's in a crisis. Maybe you've been a believer a long time and you find yourself struggling to keep hope in your marriage. Maybe there's issues at work that just have got you tied up in a knot. Maybe you're, maybe you're just filled with midlife issues, you know, kids leaving the empty nest. Okay, so here I am, I'm in a crisis. And I've tried counseling. I don't know if it's working. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. You know, I've, like, I'm looking for that preacher that can just, you know, give me that message. That'll give me the motivation I need to keep this year's New Year's resolutions. Maybe I'm not journaling enough. I need to do more introspection. Or maybe I need to stop this emotion that I'm feeling. I just gotta stop it. Stop being so anxious, stop being so afraid, stop being so angry, you know, and so I'm just, I just gotta push those down. That's. It's a problem with my discipline. Maybe I need more discipline. It is funny how we can get ourselves tied in a knot.

[Bill Thrall]

Absolutely.

[Scott Boyd]

On this journey. And so, Bill, let's start here. That's me. I'm in a crisis. Help.

[Bill Thrall]

I've had the privilege of sitting across the table, so to speak, with a lot of senior Christians who have these kind of issues.

[Scott Boyd]

Yeah.

[Bill Thrall]

And, and so often the question they tend to be asking is something like this, why isn't Christianity working for me? It's kind of like their general. And I know this is going to sound trite, but the answer is not in Christianity. It's not interesting.

[Scott Boyd]

What do you mean?

[Bill Thrall]

The answer is in Christ.

[Scott Boyd]

Okay?

[Bill Thrall]

And really there's a huge difference. There are reasons that Christians are living in crises because they have not been taught to understand that it's critical that their life be known and that the issues of their life be known. Not so they can blurt it all out, but that so somebody in love can actually protect them in their stuff to free them from their stuff. See, there are unfortunately just the narrowness of my experience, but there are a lot of Christians that are even afraid to admit they have problems. See, there are some general truths. There is no one who's a Christian who, who hasn't been profoundly affected by sin, theirs and the sin against them. And if into my years of life where these problems are common, I'm discovering that it's because most of these people have never ever been taught that there is a way through the miracles of forgiveness and repentance to have the profound unresolved life issues be brought to solution. I'm in a crisis because they're right. They're blaming Christianity for not working and they're right. It never could. I'm going to sound like a heretic right now, but I'm sorry, but the answer is not in the church. The answer is in the Christ of the church.

[Scott Boyd]

Okay, so those are fancy words. They are. The answer is not in Christianity. The answer is in Christ. What does that mean to me?

[Bill Thrall]

That's good. That's a good question. Part of the Scott in anyone is this. For a long time, Christians often go into environments where they learn how to live, quote the Christian life, only to discover it ain't working. Because the Christian life is not something we discover. How to live into the Christian life is a natural expression of who we are. Like I could say to a lot of people in this audience, do you understand that the moment you accepted Jesus Christ, God made you righteous? That's what he did.

[Scott Boyd]

Yeah.

[Bill Thrall]

So all your striving to become godly is going to put you in crisis because you already are righteous. That's who you are. So that they're sounding words, but it's like unfortunately to say it, unfortunately, if the church I'm attending is not teaching me that I am already righteous, but is reminding me that I am a sinner who has to struggle with sinning less. I'm in a crisis. It just has taken me a long time to become aware of ain't working because that's not who I am. That's why I said those words, God. Because if the message of my church is that I am still a sinner, then that church has no answer to my real life issues. But if my faith is in what Jesus Christ has been able to do, to not only die for my sin, but to, in fact say this carefully, to act fact. It redeemed me out of the mess that sin has done to me. That's what I need.

[Voldemort Cole]

Let me go back to what you started with, which is the christening crisis. That could be an issue with their marriage. Their kids are wayward. Yeah, yeah, I'm blocked at work or I've gotten fired.

[Bill Thrall]

Right, right.

[Voldemort Cole]

And then, Bill, you were saying, like, the answer is in the person, not in the. Not in the. Not in the faith, not in the church.

[Bill Thrall]

Right.

[Voldemort Cole]

And then the other part that's coming to my mind right now is this idea which we talked about earlier. First step is to. Is to acknowledge that I'm hurting.

[Bill Thrall]

Exactly.

[Voldemort Cole]

That I'm experiencing a crisis and I can't solve it.

[Bill Thrall]

Right.

[Voldemort Cole]

I had a mini cri. I mean, it was a mini crisis back then. It feel. It felt bigger. And I remember talking to my mentor and it was interesting. Out of my mouth was coming like, I know this isn't as big as all the problems that everyone else has. And he just. I remember him just stopping me and saying, stop. Just. Just live into. Just. Just be real. Just. This is. This is a crisis for you. And that was that first step. Because for some reason my natural instinct was for it to not be true.

[Scott Boyd]

Amen.

[Voldemort Cole]

Can't be a crisis or minimize it. Or to minimize it.

[Bill Thrall]

Right.

[Voldemort Cole]

Can you explain maybe why I might have that response? Why is it so difficult to even admit that you're in a crisis?

[Bill Thrall]

We have this innate desire to be known well, to be thought of well. And if I have a problem, then there must be something that I can't share because it'll break down the image. Our friend John lynch said this originally, and every time he says it since then, thousands of times, he said, what if I was in a place where the worst of me was known and I would be loved more for the telling of it? That's the reality. See, we're so afraid. I'm so afraid, Voldemort, of what you might think of me. But it's amazing. In our last session, we talked about being vulnerable and being open and letting somebody know. It doesn't turn people away from you. You fall in love with them. Actually, you fall in love for them. You don't run from them, you actually run to them. So that's part of my bias, is that's shame keeping us from being known. There's an amazing power in light

[Scott Boyd]

when

[Bill Thrall]

you bring something that has been in darkness into the light, there's an amazing biblical principle there that that which is in darkness gets broken in the light. I know this sounds corny, but I remember really young somebody saying, you know, you can bring light into a dark room, but you cannot bring darkness into a lit room.

[Scott Boyd]

You talked about when someone shares their story and you hear it, you run to them.

[Bill Thrall]

Absolutely.

[Scott Boyd]

So a connection just fired off in me of like, oh, okay. That's proof for this statement we make so often that humility is trusting others with me.

[Bill Thrall]

Exactly.

[Scott Boyd]

When I trust others with me or when someone trusts. Trusts themselves with me, I run toward them. That's the opposite of what would be the case if they were puffed up with pride in telling me about all that they did.

[Bill Thrall]

Exactly.

[Scott Boyd]

It's almost like proof of like, oh, that is humility.

[Bill Thrall]

Good for you.

[Voldemort Cole]

That's good. Because the opposite is. He is opposing that. That behavior. Oppose the proud.

[Bill Thrall]

Yeah, that's a good insight, Scott. And it draws us to each other.

[Scott Boyd]

Yes, it does.

[Bill Thrall]

And it's so beautiful. We said this last time. I'm going to repeat it here. And that is. Do you know that when we actually trust each other, we experience grace in our relationship because it frees us to love. Frees us to love. How many times have I said these words? The degree to which I trust you is the degree to which you could love me no matter how much love you have for me. And lots of people in crises do not understand a solution to their issues is to discover someone they can trust. Because when they discover someone they can trust, the reality of what is bothering them can be known.

[Scott Boyd]

Because honestly, when you say that the degree to which I trust you, the degree to which you can love me. Yes. You mean I got to tell you my story. I got to tell you all my hidden things. That terrifies people.

[Bill Thrall]

Of course it does. Yeah. In fact, I don't even want you to tell me all your stuff. I don't want. I don't want to hear it yet. I'm not ready to hear it. What I really am saying is, what if you trusted me a little bit so you could begin to experience a little bit of my love?

[Voldemort Cole]

Because we're talking about the Christian in crisis. That there's a. There's an immediate need. A crisis level. Need.

[Bill Thrall]

Exactly.

[Voldemort Cole]

And there needs to be that. I need help.

[Scott Boyd]

Yeah.

[Voldemort Cole]

I'm in a crisis. I need help. How do I. How do I receive help? Because the other part of this idea of you loving me and love being the process of meeting someone else's need, Right? And I am a Christian in crisis. I have great need.

[Bill Thrall]

What if a solution, or maybe even the solution to your crisis would be to trust somebody so they can love you? Love has a profound ability to heal. A profound ability. My mind just now ran to several, several people in the course of my life. Some dramatically, dramatically opposed to life. Angry, abusive people who, when they're loved, changes everything. I'll give you a quick story. It just came to me, but years ago in our ministry, a biker gang got some literature from one of our young people. And the biker gang owner, boss, wherever he was, he became a believer. I mean, he was. He was a drug lord. And bunch. He was ugly. Everything was wrong. But he. He really struggled with how bad. Deeply he was affected by somebody loving him. It just. It rattled every part of him to the core of his person. And for him, it became the evidence that he was a Christian because he said something that radical has to come from someplace beyond me. And this guy brought the woman he was living with. She'd become a believer. He said, well, now that we're Christians, oh my gosh. He said, we probably shouldn't be living together. And I said, yeah, probably. And I said, have you thought about getting married? And he swore a lot. He swears five or six swear words. And then he says, oh, never thought about getting married. Well, do you love her? Oh, no. She starts crying, oh, no. And he looks over at her, he says, well, you don't love me, do you? And she starts crying even harder. He starts swearing so forth. Quite a scene. And she said, yes. And I remember. I remember this really tough tattooed couple. They both start crying. You guys, it was powerful. It was powerful. That's an extreme story, but not really. It's a story of somebody, in that case, a nonbeliever in crisis. But it could be a believer in crisis. I wonder if we could just pause for another minute and say, do you know your greatest need might be to let someone love you?

[Voldemort Cole]

Huh?

[Bill Thrall]

And as you said, well, look, of Alder, how would they know they're doing that? Because they would let somebody in on their great needs. And that's when I begin to hear your story. You know, for a lot of people, I hate to be this negative, but for a lot of people, they believe the solution is in the telling of their story. That's not the solution. That's the beginning of the beginning of a process. It's the beginning of a process.

[Scott Boyd]

Right, Right.

[Bill Thrall]

Here's what we need to learn to do, we need to learn to tell our stories to people who will love us so we can deal with the reality of our story.

[Scott Boyd]

So let's continue this a little bit. Let's say I've been in crisis, right? That happened. And now I'm not sure what I think about my faith.

[Bill Thrall]

Well, I can see that. I mean, I could see that as a resulting effect. It's like I'm in this crisis. It's been a while. So I begin to ponder, what is this faith? Why isn't it working for me? Why am I stuck in this crisis? There's never a time where it is not all right to re examine the object of your faith. There's never a time where it's not all right to re examine the object of your faith. I was teasing, talking about Christianity, the church not working. Well, let's make a whole bunch of pastors will be mad at me right now. But no, no, that's not the object of my faith. What is the object of my faith? Did Jesus let me down? Is that what I believe?

[Scott Boyd]

Yeah.

[Bill Thrall]

Am I afraid to admit that I believe Jesus let me down? Is, is that where anyone is at the root of my crisis? Or maybe I need to re examine at a very deep level, maybe with somebody who I can trust how I'm really feeling about God, how I'm really feeling about my faith. Because I wonder if I haven't been spending a whole season on my symptoms because I haven't had the courage to deal with the root. And let's just say if you, whoever you are, struggle with trusting Jesus or trusting why he let you down in your words, I would just say to you, this would be a really good time to re examine the object of your faith. Who is this Jesus? And can you really trust him with who you are? Don't be afraid to ask those hard questions of him.

[Scott Boyd]

I love the answer because the answer leads me to going, oh, Jesus, He's God.

[Bill Thrall]

Yes, he is.

[Scott Boyd]

He's the perfecter of my faith. It's not about me having more trust.

[Bill Thrall]

Amen.

[Scott Boyd]

It's about who I'm trusting. Somehow when I let that be true, I can relax a little bit and, and I. And somehow when I relax a little bit, life gets a little easier.

[Bill Thrall]

Absolutely.

[Scott Boyd]

It's amazing.

[Bill Thrall]

Very much so.

[Scott Boyd]

A little bit of faith does.

[Voldemort Cole]

And I just, I just pray that, that our audience has trusted friends where they can bring that doubt to. Sometimes I, I just can't process what I really am wrestling with about the nature of Jesus. Amen. I can go sideways. And having trusted friends like this to be able to just say, this is where I'm at.

[Scott Boyd]

Yeah.

[Bill Thrall]

Right.

[Voldemort Cole]

Well, that's important.

[Bill Thrall]

And what if that was okay?

[Scott Boyd]

Yeah.

[Bill Thrall]

What if it was okay to question God? Speak. Jesus can handle us.

[Scott Boyd]

Yeah.

[Bill Thrall]

He redeemed us. So why don't we let him be God and let him just do what he does, and that is accept us where we are and who we are. But it's okay. I want to keep saying I don't want Peter to be afraid to doubt. What I want them to do is find relationships where they can experience the expression of their doubt.

[Scott Boyd]

Imagine this could be for you.

[Bill Thrall]

Amen.

[Scott Boyd]

We were talking earlier, and when. When I've had friends who have begun to. To imagine that these things might be true. Amen. For them. It's changed their lives.

[Bill Thrall]

Absolutely.

[Scott Boyd]

They've actually blossomed before my eyes.

[Bill Thrall]

I totally agree.

[Scott Boyd]

Just why I find myself a mechanical contractor with a master's plumbing license doing a podcast with Ben, because I can't imagine not wanting others to experience this thing called grace with Jesus.

[Bill Thrall]

Amen.

[Scott Boyd]

Who's an amazing person.

[Bill Thrall]

So well said, Scott.

[Scott Boyd]

Thanks for listening this week, and we hope to see you next week at Living Influence. Thanks again for listening to Living Influence. We appreciate you. We'd love it if you'd go to livinginfluence.com, contact us and send us an email. We'd love to know what you're thinking. See you next week.