Why Your Faith Feels So Exhausting

Summary

Living Influence with Bill Thrall and Scott Boyd

Episode Summary: "Why Your Faith Feels So Exhausting"

Date: March 5, 2026
Hosts: Bill Thrall and Scott Boyd

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Overview

In this episode, Bill Thrall and Scott Boyd delve deep into the phenomenon of Christian exhaustion. They unpack why so many believers feel that faith has become a tiring endeavor, exploring themes of misplaced effort, grace, the object of faith, and the transforming power of being known and loved—all reframed through their hallmark authenticity and humor. This conversation is especially geared toward "exhausted Christians" who feel their faith life is more draining than life-giving, and it points to the liberating reality of living from identity in Christ rather than striving for approval.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. “Why is My Faith Not Working?” – The Question of the Exhausted Christian (01:15–03:57)

• The episode opens with Scott voicing the struggle many Christians feel:

  “Why is my faith not working? I had so much hope for what I thought this was going to do for me. And I’m not sure it’s really happening.” (01:17, Scott)

• Bill reframes the issue, emphasizing that the exhaustion comes not from lack of faith, but from a misplaced focus on self-effort:

  “So often...the emphasis is on how hard we believe or how much we have to believe. And the reason for so many people it’s not working is because they’ve turned faith into effort.” (02:17, Bill)

• The solution is refocusing faith on Christ as its object, not on one’s own struggle to believe.

2. Is Jesus Capable? Shifting the Object of Faith (03:57–05:18)

• Bill presses on a central theological question:

  “Is Jesus capable of dying for all of my sin? Is he capable of dealing with my shame?” (02:57, Bill)

• The critical point: Belief is not about how much you strive, but in whom you trust—shifting the burden from self to Christ.

3. The Trap of Turning Faith into Personal Effort (04:02–05:45)

• Scott and Bill reflect on the tendency to internalize faith as a self-improvement project:

  “I turn everything...into effort. My effort. Oh, I have to trust God with me. Oh, it’s about—I just have to trust more.” (04:02, Scott)

• Bill brings practical clarity:

  “Imagine trusting a theology that puts the effort on Jesus, not me.” (04:21, Bill) “If I put my effort on becoming, it’s exhausting. But if my effort is an expression of who I am, it’s natural.” (06:27, Bill)

4. Living from Identity vs. Living to Achieve (05:46–08:05)

• The conversation pivots toward the difference between striving to become godly vs. living from the reality that Christ has already made you new:

  “What if you are already what you’re striving so hard to become because his effort was, in fact, to give you a new reality?” (04:36, Bill) “If Jesus did it for me...how much energy does that free up now for me to do something else?” (05:46, Voldemort/guest)

• The hosts joke about how love, friendships, even fishing together, become energizing when lived from identity, not from obligation.

5. Love as a Natural Outflow, Not Exhausting Duty (06:27–07:17)

• Bill explains how Christian love is meant to be a natural expression, not a religious task:

  “Is love an expression of who I am because of who God made me in Christ? And if it is, then it’s a natural expression...it actually frees me.” (07:17, Bill)

• Scott affirms:

  “It energizes me.” (07:18, Scott)

6. Being Real is Being Spiritual (12:25–14:45)

• Scott shares about the awkwardness that can come with “trying to be spiritual” in church groups, and the group agrees that authenticity is more spiritual than performance:

  “What if being real was being spiritual?” (13:41, Bill) “Instead of always having this sin management phenomenon in my face...what if just being real was the thing to do?” (13:45, Bill)

• The hosts highlight new approaches like hobby groups as venues for developing genuine relationships (13:09–13:31).

7. Experiencing and Receiving Grace—The Role of Humility and Trust (14:52–16:39)

• Bill unpacks 1 Peter 5’s promise that God gives grace to the humble, reframing humility as “trusting God with me.”

  “Every time someone trusts God, they experience grace...by trusting God with me.” (15:08, Bill)

• They discuss how vulnerability with others creates an environment of grace and love:

  “Practically, the more real I am, the more I tangibly trust you...there’s a direct exchange with grace.” (16:26, Voldemort/guest)

8. Receiving, Not Earning: Living Loved (16:40–19:52)

• Bill models prayers that express a desire to receive rather than earn:

  “Lord, teach me to let you love me. Lord, teach me to believe that you are delighted in me.” (10:48, Bill)

• The transformative power of sharing and receiving stories:

  “If you’ve ever been in a room with others and you told your raw, unvarnished story...you experience love, you experience acceptance, you experience empathy.” (19:02, Scott)

• Bill closes this section with the core message:

  “He’s given me a heart that responds to trust with love.” (19:33, Bill)

• Scott notes the mysterious transformational result:

  “Nothing in your life may change, but everything changes.” (19:52, Scott)

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Memorable Quotes with Timestamps

• On the exhaustion of effort:
  “When I try to become something I already am, I’m exhausted.” (09:11, Bill)
• On the object of faith:
  “The critical factor in faith is the object of belief. That’s the critical factor. Is he Jesus Christ?” (02:17, Bill)
• On receiving grace:
  “How do I begin to experience grace? When I begin to understand what humility really is...humility is trusting God with me.” (15:08, Bill)
• On authenticity in spiritual life:
  “What if being real was being spiritual?” (13:41, Bill)
• On what community is meant to be:
  “If you’ve ever been in a room with others and you told your raw, unvarnished story...you experience love, you experience acceptance, you experience empathy.” (19:02, Scott)

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Notable Moments & Timestamps

• 01:15–03:57: The hosts set the stage—why faith feels exhausting.
• 04:02–05:45: The “effort treadmill” vs. trusting Christ’s finished work.
• 06:27–07:17: Real love as a sign of identity, not achievement.
• 12:25–13:31: Rethinking church groups—fun as a spiritual act.
• 13:41–14:45: The bold assertion: “Being real is being spiritual.”
• 14:52–15:08: Key promise—“God gives grace to the humble.”
• 19:02–19:52: The transformative, nourishing effect of vulnerable community.

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Conclusion

The episode challenges listeners to drop the exhausting treadmill of self-driven faith and rest instead in Christ’s accomplishment, learning to live out of their true identity. Faith becomes invigorating when effort expresses who you already are in Christ, not something you do to become accepted. The real spiritual journey is one of trust, authenticity, and receiving grace through both divine and human relationships.

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For Further Exploration

• Living Influence website
• Living Influence book (upcoming, Spring 2026)

(Note: Intro, outro, and advertisements have been omitted for clarity.)

Transcript

[A]

Hey guys, I just want to tell you about something else that Bill Voldemort and I are working on. It's called Living Influence Leadership. It's for business leaders who also happen to be Christians. We think we've got some great stuff that can be amazing in your company as it wasn't mine. Check us [e-mail] welcome to Living Influence. I'm Scott Boyd, your host, along with Bill Thrall and Voldemort Cole. Hey, I want to mention that we have a book coming out this spring. It's called Living Influence. Yep. I just would like to encourage you to go to our website, livinginfluence.com because I think we're going to have some stuff up there where you can be a supporter of the book, be on the pre launch team. There's going to be a lot of things coming out as we try to market this book, but we're really excited about the book. Thinking about the book and thinking about who would read the book caused us to begin to think who are our listeners? And last week we began to discuss one of those, we call them Personas, the Exhausted Christian. This week we want to talk about what are the questions that I might be asking if I were an exhausted Christian?

[B]

Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

And the first question is like just a simple question, why is my faith not working? I actually think everyone has gone through this, of course, in their life. At some point where you're going, wait, wait. I had so much hope for what I thought this was going to do for me. And I'm not sure it's really happening.

[C]

And it can take a long time. I mean, that's something that's been part of my journey constantly for some reason, I think maybe because I'm such an idealistic person.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

In my mind it's always been if I can just figure out the right way to do these items. And I have so much guidance from scripture and from church and I know how I think if I can just do things the right way, life should be smooth. I know that's not true and it hasn't been. And yet in the back of my mind, it's very hard to get rid of that thinking.

[B]

I think, Scott, even the words are interesting. My faith not working.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And what I mean by that is so often as Christians, the emphasis is on how hard we believe or how hard we try to believe or how much we have to believe. And the reason for so many people it's not working is because they've Turned faith into effort. Don't concentrate so much on how much you believe. The critical factor in faith is the object of belief. That's the critical factor. Is he Jesus Christ?

[A]

God?

[B]

Do I believe that? Is he? You've mentioned our book, and in the book we're trying to answer some questions. And one of the questions is, is Jesus capable of dying for all of my sin? I wouldn't be a Christian if I didn't believe that. So the object of my faith. We talked just last week about this profound reality of the message of my shame. Is Jesus capable? Is he capable of dealing with my shame? That's a question. Let's answer it.

[A]

Let's see.

[B]

So the object of my faith as a Christian is Jesus Christ. The editor asked me this. Of course Jesus is capable. He's God. And I said, excellent. But I'm not asking the question, is he capable because he's God. Do you believe he's capable?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's the question why? Asking, why is my faith not working?

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

And for me, I turn everything. I have a propensity to turn everything into effort. My effort.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Oh, I have to trust God with me. Oh, it's about. I just have to trust more.

[B]

Imagine trusting a theology that puts the effort on Jesus, not me. Imagine trusting a theology that puts the effort on Jesus, not me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In other words, what am I supposed to do to become more godly? Okay, that's a question. It'll make you tired. But what if you put the emphasis on Jesus and he's already made you godly? What if you are already with what you're striving so hard to become because his effort was to, in fact, give you a new reality? Can I trust him with that? Oh, no, no. I've got to. I gotta do it. Well, how's it working for you? Remember, we're talking about the exhausted Christian.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I don't mind asking you, how's it working for you? Well, no, I'm exhausted. Good. Thank you for your honesty. But maybe there's a reason for your exhaustion.

[A]

I love what you just did there. You took it to the reality.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Okay. You think you need to have some responsibility in the game. How's that working? And it's like, oh, I am exhausted.

[B]

Right. And you should be.

[C]

And if Jesus did it for me and it's such a monumental, impossible assignment that he's taken care of, how much energy does that free up now for me to do something else?

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

Like that's off my plate now, if I can truly receive and Understand that, boy. Does that free me up to do what? Something else that's not as exhausting. I was just thinking, is that maybe tied to when Jesus says, my, my burden is light?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Very good. It is tied to it, isn't it?

[C]

Because I've. I've taken the heavy, I've taken the impossible.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And now he's given you an assignment. It's so much lighter and it's full of life. Because you don't need to become godly.

[B]

Let's not be afraid of effort. Let's not put our effort on becoming. Let's let our effort be the expression of who we are. If I put my effort on becoming, it's exhausting. But if my effort is an expression of who I am, it's natural. Jesus said the greatest evidence that we belong to him is the love we have for each other. That's Jesus words, the love we have for each other. So is that exhausting? Is love an expression of who I am because of who God made me in Christ? And if it is, then it's a natural expression of my person to love you. And that does take effort. But it's not an effort that exhausts me. You know what it is? It's an effort that actually frees me.

[A]

It energizes me

[B]

even better.

[A]

Since you like fishing and I like

[C]

fishing, and someday I will.

[A]

We can go fishing together.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And it's spiritual. Because we're loving when I hear. Because we're actually spending quality time together,

[B]

I like you more. Look at you. You just gave me another other reason that I can go fishing.

[A]

But.

[B]

But it's true, though. Yeah, it's true. What if. What if? It sounds corny, but it's not. What if our trusting what he's done would actually give us the enjoyment of life? What actually gave us. You know how exhausting it is to never be satisfied with anything.

[C]

Yeah. Sorry to interrupt, but I mean, I go back to last week and I was talking about just some examples. When I think of my exhausted Christian experience, I gave some examples, right? All of those. If those become more of an expression of what God has already done for me, they become joyful and more life. More life giving. Well, just serving on a tiring, heavy, loaded board of a school, going through some very tough issues, right? Dealing with junior high boys that don't pay attention to any plays that you're instructing on.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Just being on an elder board at church, just very, very big things. But this idea of if I can see that as a means to Love outside of me versus boy. I need to show up and become something that is pleasing to God in any activity. I'm just using some of those as an example.

[B]

Right.

[C]

There is. There is such a difference.

[B]

Absolutely.

[C]

Is it? It's either life giving or it is endlessly tiring to make sure I'm okay.

[B]

Amen. Well said. So am I exhausted? Yes, I'm exhausted. When I try to become something I already am, I'm exhausted

[A]

now.

[B]

What's less exhausting? Learning to live out of who I am. Learning to live out of who I am. I keep putting this in my mind. Can I trust Jesus that he is delighted in me now? Can I believe that even when that crazy voice from last week in my head keeps telling me my shame story? Can I let the God of the universe be delighted in me? Can I let him be who he is? Can I let him love me the way he does? Can I let myself be loved? What if I was actually learning these truths instead of ramping it up and getting what if I could just say, Lord, my prayers. I pray a lot of short prayers. Lord, teach me to let you love me. Lord, teach me to believe that you are delighted in me. Did I mention I'm a jerk? Did I mention God? And he goes, I don't want to hear that. What I want you to hear is how important you are to me. Could I hear that?

[C]

So, Bill, are you saying that the Word of God teaches us that God actually enjoys us?

[B]

Absolutely. Absolutely. And enjoying us. He has joy for us. It's back to this exhausted Christian who doesn't feel any joy. Jesus had the audacity to say these words. My joy I give to you, Voldemort. You get to participate in the joy of Jesus. And he said, if you'd let me give you my joy, it'll cause your joy to be full.

[C]

Amen.

[B]

That's what he said. Now, okay, I don't have joy. So I've got to work real hard. I got to read another book on joy. I've got to talk to 10 people who've experienced joy. Or I can receive something. Let's talk about that for a minute. Let's talk about what it's like to receive from God. Instead of trying constantly to give something to God. What if I could learn to be somebody who received from God? Could I receive your love, God? Could I receive your joy? It blows my mind, God. I'm struggling to understand it, but I just quoted you, Jesus. You said you build thrall. I want to participate in my Joy,

[A]

Huh?

[B]

I don't know how to do that. What do I have to do? Receive it. Receive it, Receive it.

[A]

I'm going to a new church, and they're starting connection groups, small groups. The people that have started them have noticed when we try to be spiritual, it gets hard. People don't want to. You know, it's like everybody puts. Sits on their hands. They quit speaking.

[B]

And so let's talk about football.

[A]

Yeah. But part of it is also, it's okay to just connect with someone. And so what if we took away the necessity to be spiritual and put in. No, it's okay to just be real?

[B]

And.

[A]

And so we're actually starting hobby groups as well. I have once a month at my house. We'll see if anybody comes. Simulator golf. Hair. If you want to come over, we'll play simulator golf in my basement. And where you just. The goal is, is that we develop friendships.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

Which ties back to the. By this, they'll know that you're my disciples, that you love one another.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

And love can be just spending time together.

[B]

What if being real was being spiritual?

[A]

Yeah. Imagine.

[B]

What if that were true instead of always having this sin management phenomenon in my face? What would Jesus do? So instead of having this. What's the Christian thing to do? What if just being real was the thing to do and finding other people who are real so that we don't have to sit on our hands when the meeting turns to spiritual? What if we could just be real? I think when I look at that question we're trying to answer is, why is my faith not working? Because I haven't yet experienced the reality of what I say I believe. I ask a lot of people the question about who God says they are. They look at their Bible and they can give me all the right answers. They just don't believe it. Yeah, they just. They just don't believe it. There's one more question, Scott. It's this. The exhausted Christian, as they begin to search, begins to answer this question. How do I begin to experience grace?

[A]

Right.

[B]

How do I begin. Something's missing. How do I begin to experience grace? Because there has to be an answer for me as a Christian. I know. I love Jesus. I'm exhausted. How do I begin to experience grace? And there's a promise in First Peter, Chapter 5. It says this, that God gives grace to the humble. That's a promise. It's a promise about grace. How do I begin to experience grace when I begin to understand what humility really is? What if humility Were these words, humility is trusting God with me. And here's an interesting spiritual phenomenon. Do you know that every time someone trusts God, they experience grace? How do I begin to experience grace by trusting God with me. How do I continue to experience grace by trusting you with me. How will I begin to experience grace when I am trusting God and others with me now?

[A]

So practically.

[C]

Practically, the more real I am, the more I tangibly trust you.

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

And allow myself to be known. You're saying there's a direct exchange with grace.

[A]

So the more real you're with God is that trusting God Exactly. The more real I am with God.

[B]

This is who I really am.

[A]

God.

[B]

I'm all screwed up, but really I'm desperate. Lord, meet me in my need. And that's part of it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The exchange is an exchange of need.

[A]

How.

[B]

How would we know, Scott, that we are experiencing grace? Because we would be experiencing love. What's so interesting is that when I trust God with me, my God gives me grace in the expression of his love. When I trust you with me, then you get to love me. And you get to love me. How do I begin to experience grace when I begin to trust? Now, a lot of people, I can hear them instantly go, no, I'm going to go back to working harder.

[A]

I'm out. I'm never going to share my story in a room of people.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Never going to do that. Exactly. I'm out.

[B]

And yet, time after time, in my cohort, you and I have taught them together in our cohorts, people who would never, ever, ever share anything. In fact, we were talking about a couple last night. They have opened up their lives in a way they never thought possible. So what is it? How do I experience grace? I experience grace in a safe place where I can trust God with me. In a safe place where we can trust each other. What would we do with someone who trusted us? Think about that for a minute. Just what do I do with someone who trusts me? Am I willing to love them?

[A]

It's not even a question. Actually, it's not. Am I willing to love them because.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

If you've ever been in a room with others and you told your raw, unvarnished story, and when you were done, you looked around the room at each person, and maybe they give you feedback, maybe they don't. Maybe they just look at you, what you experience is you experience love.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

You experience acceptance. You experience empathy. Well said. And then when they in turn tell their story raw and unfiltered, the experience of seeing someone do that causes you to fall in love with it.

[B]

Absolutely. That is so well said, Scott. That is. It's so.

[A]

Well, it's not even am I willing? It's not a choice.

[B]

Yeah. It's a voluntary response to trust.

[C]

God's given us that response, and that's beautiful.

[A]

That's what God's done in our heart.

[B]

That's what he's done. He's given me a heart that responds to trust with love. I love what we just said.

[C]

It's nourishing. It's almost like that is what the heart is made for and needs.

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

And the gate is open up. When we're humble, we become known.

[A]

And in the middle of this journey, as you begin to experience God's grace and the love of others, nothing in your life may change, but everything changes.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

It's an amazing journey to go on.

[B]

You could not have said it better.

[A]

Thanks for joining us on Living Influence. This week we're going to continue on this journey of talking about who might need to read this book. And we'd invite you to be one of those. Please check out our [e-mail] thanks for listening to Living Influence. We appreciate you. Just a call to action. We would love it if you would share our podcast with one or two people this week. Thanks again.