Do you find yourself living in a marriage full of unspoken tension? You’re polite and all, but there’s no honest sharing or compassion? In this final program of the series, Chip shares a tool that walks you step-by-step, through a communication process that’ll free you from the past, free you from the guilt, and free you from the history that’s holding your relationship hostage.

Three major reasons we have shame:

A theological reason – we ALL have shame.
Shame from things DONE to us.
Shame of things that we DO.

Three natural responses:

To HIDE.
To NUMB the pain.
To COMPENSATE.

John 21:1-19

Principles:

Jesus MEETS us where we are.
Jesus gently DEMANDS that we face the truth about ourselves.
Jesus AFFIRMS our value and our worthiness by commissioning us to service.

Practical implications:

You can’t forgive your mate until you have RECEIVED both forgiveness and restoration. -Ephesians 4:32
EXPERIENCE God’s forgiveness and restoration.
Freely GIVE what you have received.

Tools for transformation:

D – DEFINE the issue clearly.

E – ENTER the pain and hurt.

F – Ask for FORGIVENESS.

U – UNDERSTAND the process.

Phase 1: Forgive
Phase 2: Forgiving
Phase 3: Forgiven

S – SET things right between you.

Own your responsibility
Confess: “I was wrong.”
Ask: “Will you forgive me?”
Answer: “Yes, I forgive you.”

E – ESTABLISH a specific game plan to move forward.

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