← Living The Next Chapter: Candid Conversations with Authors and Writers for Readers Searching for a New Read
Living The Next Chapter: Candid Conversations with Authors and Writers for Readers Searching for a New Read
E368 - Milton Sithole - Dominate Your Potential - Break Free from Self-Defeating Thinking
00:35:15
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- [00:01]
Milton
Many people, they then give up because of no. But you don't have to give up because the next person will be a yes, the next visit will be a yes. So when it comes to say maybe, what is that I have. You have a unique story. Like you you mentioned. Your story is unique to you and the world needs to hear it. Nobody shares your journey, nobody has your experiences. So you need to share your experience and help other people. Because of your story. You'll be inspiring a lot of different people. Like how many times have you heard that so and so was like this. We hear of Michael Jordan's that he missed 9000 shots when he was playing and then yet he's one of the greatest basketball players of all time. But he kept on pushing. You understand? Tyler Perry, he said that even before now he's a billionaire because he's producing all these films. But before the success, before the success, there was some failure that happened. Fred Smith, the founder of FedEx, said it so well. He said it took me 28 years to become an overnight success. Yes. So you just have to keep pushing because there's so much potential. But you know, you have to have to believe in yourself. You have to break free from self defeating thinking because it is, it is on you. Here's the thing, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you. It really doesn't matter. It's none of your business. But what you think of you is the most important thing. There's an African proverb that says, if there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm. So I am the one that matters. My opinion of me, it matters the most. What I think and how I think about me is the most important thing. If I think I am a loser, then I'm going to go out there with that attitude of a loser. And life is definitely going to terrorize and defeat me. But if I believe that I can do it, yes, it's hard, but because I'm, I'm hungry, I'm, I have a determination. Nothing can stop me. It may be hard, maybe challenges. I say bring it, bring it. Challenges are the bread that I need to, to, you know, to endure to get to the next level, to get to next chapter.
- [02:34]
Dave
Everyone, welcome back to Living the Next chapter. I have a great guest on the podcast. He has a new book launching and I'm excited that he's here to talk about that with us on the show. And when you hear this gentleman's voice, you're going to hear a beautiful voice and A great story behind this as well. Milton is on the podcast. Milton, welcome to living the next chapter.
- [02:57]
Milton
Oh, thank you. Thank you for having me, Dave. It's always a pleasure to talk with you.
- [03:04]
Dave
I love it.
- [03:05]
Milton
I love it to be here. Yeah.
- [03:07]
Dave
Good. And when people hear your voice, Milton, there's your voice has a beautiful accent. I know I'm in Canada and I don't have an accent. Right. I don't have any accidental. You have a beautiful accent. Can you tell everybody, Milton, where does this beautiful accent come from? Where, where are you from?
- [03:24]
Milton
Well, I, I don't know about the accent part, but I was born and bred in a city called in Zimbabwe. And though currently I'm, I'm relocated, I'm based in the. I'm based in England with my family and I'm excited to have written this book. It's called dominate your potential break free from self defeating thinking. So thank you for the compliment of the accent, Dave, but
- [04:06]
Dave
it is great. It is great. And like I said, I'm a Canadian. We don't have any accents in Canada, so that's what I tell everybody. But they tell me I have an accent. But you can confirm that for me that I do. Okay, that's good. Well, it's nice to have you on the show, Milton. We've talked before. You've been on one of my other shows and I really appreciate having a chance to have you back again. Tell us a little bit, Milton, where did the idea come from to write dominate your potential? How did this all come to be?
- [04:40]
Milton
Well, the story goes, Dave, it was in 2016 and I had a company called Yatiyati Productions. So what we then do is we used to host like seminars, motivational seminars, goal setting seminars back in Zimbabwe, Botswana, and collaborate with some speakers from South Africa, Kenya, as it were. And we also would host concerts, music concerts. And it so happened that one time, like we wanted to promote our. One of our concerts and because of my faith, I wanted to promote like in my church. But then I was deprived that opportunity. It was not warranted. Like, it really, it crushed me to say it. Really, I was hurt. And even my team, like we couldn't understand because other people were getting the support. You know, it was a big thing such that I was crushed. And then during that season of my wilderness experience, I came across a certain YouTube talk by a certain gentleman called Les Brown. And Les Brown was like, imagine this, if you will, being on your deathbed. And surrounding you are the hopes and the dreams given to you by life. They'll be staring at you with large angry eyes, you know, saying, now we have to die with you because you are so afraid to take action. And then you ask the question is of now. What dreams, what hopes, what ambitions, you understand? And then you're like, someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality. Then I said back, and I like, but then, okay, fine, this has happened, but there is more about me, you know, this is just a phase. I'm supposed to learn from this because I've got so much potential. So what I need to do is to dominate my potential and stop thinking like I've been defeated because some people did not want to help me. And though I looked up to the, you know, you look up to your leaders, but at times they may be the very reason why you are crushed. But they're like, no, man, there is more to you. Like out of a billion or a million spam. I'm the one that swam and I made it, you know, I think so I've got greatness within me. So, like, I'm going to help others. You know, looking back on, okay, my mother told me that my father left me when I was two years of age, right? So the thoughts came back, okay, I've always been maybe neglected, you know, abandoned and stuff like that. People not wanting to believe in me. Maybe that's why my father left me. But like, no, I have greatness within me. Those words by Les Brown really struck hard that I have got dreams, I've got greatness, and no one is going to come to my rescue. If it's a book that I want to write, if it's a song that I want to record, if it's a film that I want to produce, it's all on me. So I was like, okay, I'm going to write and help people and tell and share part of my story because there's so much to talk about. It won't fit in one book. I am sharing part of my story how I, I grew up without a father, how it traumatized me. I remember also when I was doing to, as we call it, grade seven in primary school, I was playing with my friends, my childhood friends, and they just talking about their father's fatherhood, how the, the relationship that they have with their fathers. One was saying his father is doing this, the other was saying my father does this. And me, I only had an, an idea of what I'd heard. I was told that my father was in the army. So I then quipped, like, my father is A soldier. But there was no conviction because there was really no connection. I didn't know him, I still don't know him up to today. So that one of my friends were like, ah, Milton, you are. You speak like someone doesn't know his father. Because there was no conviction. That really hit me as well, you know, that when I got home I cried. And then I made a vow to myself. I like, you know what? That's his own my father. Screw him. I am going to be there for my children. I'm going to be a present father. I'm not going to abandon any of my children. And I, I, I, I live by that. I'm always here for my children then hence the family centric leadership aspect of what I do and why I do what I do. So in everything that I do, I want to let people know that they have greatness as well. They can dominate their potential because there's so much potential in each and every one of us. Like we were talking earlier as to say the society. The problem with society today is when you look at someone else, like the celebrities, you know, those that have developed their skills and giftings like they are celebrated because of certain accomplishments, they are at a certain level in their life. And then when one looks at themselves and they see that they are not exactly where they want to be or where they will want to be, they feel defeated. They think they are not worthy, you understand? But then, yeah, and also society ostracizes people, you know, because they glorify the few that are said to be celebrities, you know. But then I'm saying you also meta, you understand, it's only a matter of time, you understand? There is a time and a season for everything under the sun. And where you are today is not where you will be tomorrow, you understand? Everything happens for a reason. There was a time when we didn't have the light bulb. It took the gentleman 10,000 times to make the light bulb over 10,000 times. That takes dedication, that takes commitment, that takes self belief, you know, you have to believe in yourself. He believed that the was so much potential that he can actually do it irregardless of what other people were saying, you understand? Even now, today we've got electric cars. I bet people are laughing at Elon Musk like over 10 years ago, you know, saying, I'm going to come up with electric cars. They loved him, understand? But then he was listening to a different bit. He didn't allow himself to be diverted or to be distracted by people's opinions. He was not where he wanted to be. It takes time. It's a process. All you need is to believe in yourself the very fact that you are here on planet Earth today. There is a purpose for your life. You are not here by chance. It's not by accident. There is a reason, a significant purpose that you must achieve. Only you can do it. You see, the fact that nobody shares your fingerprints with you like all the generations, past, present and those to come, no one will share your set of fingerprints is proof positive that you're unique. So why then should you be concerned about others people's opinions of you? Because their contemptuous perception of you really is none of your business. So in this transformative, in this transformative book of mine, dominate your potential. I just want us to embark on a journey of self discovery or rediscovery and empowerment, you know, because there's so much that we all have on the inside. If only you can just believe in yourself instead of being distracted but by what other people are doing, focus on you, you see, because they are gifts that you also have. They are skills that you also, if you can only focus on those things that you have and develop it and develop those things instead of looking at the neighbor, you'll be better off. Because once you look at what someone else is doing, you become discouraged because you feel like maybe you, you don't have what it takes. But then in the book, I want to teach people how to harness the power, you know, of goal setting. You understand the true extent of your capabilities and develop an unshakable, you know, belief in yourself. Because once you believe in yourself, it doesn't matter who doesn't believe in you. You know, someone say that if you know the why for doing something, you can, and you can endure any how. So you must believe in yourself.
- [14:32]
Dave
Yeah.
- [14:32]
Milton
If you don't believe in yourself, if you don't know who you are, the world will tell you who you are not. I have heard the same.
- [14:38]
Dave
Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. So, Milton, how do people, how do they put, how do people put limitations on their potential? What kind of things do people do that limit how much they can do in this world? What are some of those limits we put on ourselves?
- [14:59]
Milton
You know, I'm glad you asked that question, Dave. Like I'm going to give an example. Growing up when you've got children and growing up as a child, when children grow up, they have no limit. They believe they can do anything. Nothing is impossible for a child.
- [15:25]
Dave
Right.
- [15:25]
Milton
It is only as adults who then say, don't do that. You Understand? You see, don't do that. Don't touch that. You understand? Nobody has ever done that. So because of the stories growing up that people then hear that in this family, no one has ever achieved this, you feel like you cannot do it as well because of the stories, because of the. The conversations, the associates that we. We associate with the stories that we hear. So. But I believe that you have to choose your surroundings wisely as well. Choose the people that you associate with wisely because they influence what you become and what you think and how you think and what you do. Because if you hang around like millionaires, you may not be a millionaire at the time, but because you are with millionaires and all they talk is millions and how to make millions is going to rub off on you. And if you hang around a crowd that is always talking defeat, like, hey, it's hard. Life is hard. Things are not working out. We are. We are stuck, man. It's bad. You understand that mindset also rubs off unconsciously. You become like that. But then you have to choose. And what you listen to also you see, what you watch also, like be on the television, whatever it is, it also contributes and subconscious, you get to. To be imparted with a certain spirit or you understand how you then move forward in life. It's all about your. Your surroundings, what you listen to. And also when you look at yourself, you must believe in yourself. As I said, when you came into this world, they were about how many millions of sperm that you wanted to fertilize the egg. But you are the only one that needs, right? Which means you were born ready. You are born a winner. You understand? So you must carry that winning spirit. Even growing up to pursue your dreams, to push towards the direction of your goals with. With. With purpose, with determination. Yes, it may be hard. There may be obstacles along the way. It will not be easy. You may feel like giving up. That's normal. Yeah. Yeah.
- [18:06]
Dave
And when we. When we struggle, Milton, with self worth or feeling like, who am I to write a book? Who am I to create a podcast? Who am I to do anything, right? To know that you're a miracle. You're a walking miracle that you're even here.
- [18:22]
Milton
Yes.
- [18:23]
Dave
That's. That's your uniqueness. That's. You should take. You should take pride in the sense that you're here for a reason and your voice matters. And we. When we need to hear your voice, we need to read your book, we need to hear your podcast or your music. Whatever you create in life, we need that. And There's a reason why you're here. So as. As much as we talk ourselves down or we think that we're not good enough, we're not smart enough, or no one's going to read my book, no one's going to listen to me, there are people who will love to hear your story and are waiting for you to share it. So that's part of our potential as well. Right.
- [19:08]
Milton
And the thing is that you just have to be hungry as well, Dave.
- [19:13]
Dave
Yeah.
- [19:13]
Milton
Like, the depth of your hunger determines the height of your success. Right. So because some people, they are lackadaisical in approaching their goals. They have no ambition whatsoever. But then you just have to be hungry and be ambitious. It may take time, you understand, for you to reach the level that you wanted to achieve your dreams. It's. It's hard. Yes. But then you just have to keep going. You understand? Like Colonial Hallard Sanders, the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Yes. He was known for his passion, dedication to his culinary creations. But before that, it is reported that at the age of 65, he attempted to commit suicide.
- [20:05]
Dave
Wow.
- [20:06]
Milton
Because things are not working out. But then he then discovered that there's this one thing that I can really do so well, that is to fry chicken. And you're like, okay, instead of taking my life, let me fry chicken. And today, KFC is a powerhouse. Like, it's a huge franchise, you understand? Such that at the age of 85, 86, he was a billionaire. But at 65, he wanted to take his life because it was hard. So when you look inside, don't look outside, look inside. Inside of you, there's so much potential, untapped potential that needs to be unleashed, that you need to dominate, you know, because Sanda's passion for cooking and his belief in the quality of his food, it drove him then to travel around the US to promote his recipe. He visited countless restaurants, pitching his idea, facing rejection even before finding success. Because you know, at times you can be having this confidence. You've got this idea, you want to do something, you are. You've got the drive. And then you get rejection. No, no, no, no, no, no. Many people, they then give up because of. No. But you don't have to give up because the next person will be a. Yes. The next visit. Yes. So when it comes to say, maybe, what is that? I have. You have a unique story. Like you, you mentioned. Your story is unique to you, and the world needs to hear it. Nobody shares your journey, nobody has your experiences. So you need to share your experience and Help other people because of your story, you'll be inspiring a lot of different people. Like how many times have you heard that so and so was like this. We hear of Michael Jordan's that he missed 9000 shots when he was playing. And then yet he's one of the greatest basketball players of all time. But he kept on pushing. You understand? Tyler Perry, he said that even before. Now he's a billionaire because he's producing all these films. But before the success, before the success there was some failure that happened. Fred Smith, the founder of FedEx said it so well. He said it took me 28 years to become an overnight success. Yes. So we just have to keep pushing because there's so much potential. But your narrative do you have to believe in yourself. You have to break free from self defeating thinking because it is on you. Here's the thing. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you. It really doesn't matter. It's none of your business. But what you think of you is the most important thing. There is an African proverb that says if there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm. So I am the one that matters. My opinion of me, it matters the most. What I think and how I think about me is the most important thing. If I think I am a loser, then I'm going to go out there with that attitude of a loser. And life is definitely going to terrorize and defeat me. But if I believe that I can do it, yes, it's hard. But because I'm, I'm hungry, I'm. I have a determination. Nothing can stop me. It may be hard, maybe challenges. I say bring it, bring it. Challenges are the bread that I need to, to know, to enjoy. To get to the next level, to get to the next chapter.
- [23:56]
Dave
Nice. And I like that you said next chapter because that's the name of my podcast. Living the Next Chapter. So Milton, tell us what is your next chapter? You're an author now. The book is coming out. We're excited for that. We chatted about possibly you might have a podcast in the future. What is your next chapter? What are you excited about Milton? For the future for you and your, for your family.
- [24:20]
Milton
Well, thank you for that. Like you've mentioned, they have a book coming up dominate your potential. And I've worked with a great team, the publishing team that I worked with. They are amazing. And the book is due for release by June. It will be out available on Amazon, you know, on my website millions impact training.com and we are still working on the website, as it were, but by June everything will be all good. I'm working also on the podcast based on the book because I am passionate basically about helping people break free from self defeating thinking to discover more of their full potential. Because there is no reason why we should live our lives, you know, empty. You know, my mental Les Brown says live full and die empty. So I'm excited because like I'll be doing like some webinars, some seminars and just to be able to help even just one person and say, you know what, your dreams are valid, your dreams are valid and you can achieve your dreams. You just have to be passionate about what you want to do. Because passion is the bridge that takes you from where you are to the life you dream of. You understand?
- [25:58]
Dave
I like it. I like it.
- [26:00]
Milton
Yeah. So I'm excited, Dave, like to be working like. There is a platform that I'm also a collaborator with is called the Speakers Index here in the United Kingdom. It's a, it's a, it's a speakers directory. So I'm working with amazing speakers of which that one is also launching in May, this May. So it's the speakers industry platform for speakers whereby for events organizers, if you want to get the training as a speaker, BTR professional, you're starting out in your journey as a speaker, will be helping you to really get in front of the right audience for you. So there's a lot coming up. And for my family, I'm just grateful for the family that I have. They are so supportive. They are just amazing. I remember I was talking to someone about my wife, how I met my wife in the church, in the choir, right? So you see this, this face that you're looking at right now, how handsome, how well groomed. You wouldn't have recognized me say 12 years ago. I wasn't like this. I like big teeth. I didn't do anything to my teeth, but my teeth looked very big. I was very dark in complexion. I was so skinny and ugly and it wasn't a nice sight. Hence I met this girl, very beautiful girl. She had class, style, just amazing. And she said yes to me, to the dismay of other congregates. You know, one person actually said, why don't you go to brother so and so. He is more of your level, he's more your lead, you understand? Leave this guy, such a loser. This is a church person. And then one said, I'm not going to be your friend anymore if you continue dating this guy. So I was like, what is it about me, how was I? Why didn't anybody believe in me? You understand? But then my wife, she saw something I didn't ask her said, but why of all the other handsome, well groomed, nicely dressed people, why did you then choose this one?
- [28:20]
Dave
Me?
- [28:21]
Milton
It's like this way that you spoke, the wisdom that you spoke, the words that you spoke, the vision that you have for the future. So I can safely say my wife did not marry me for my looks, she did not marry me for my money, because I didn't have any of those things. She chose me because she saw the real me, the passion that I have for the future to help other people develop and become better in life. And she's a beautiful woman and I'm so glad and privileged to call it my wife, you understand? So she's given me a wonderful son and we are just grateful to be together like every, each and every day. When I look at her, I'm grateful to God and say, wow, so this me, she's just precious. I was like what you call a diamond in the rough, you understand? And then.
- [29:29]
Dave
So what you're saying, Milton, is that she saw potential in you, just like your book, right?
- [29:34]
Milton
Yes, right.
- [29:36]
Dave
There you go. So she saw the potential in you.
- [29:39]
Milton
I love it.
- [29:43]
Dave
That's perfect. Milton, as far as the book being available, you said in June, and we will have links to your website and everything included in the podcast so people can follow up with you. Any, any words of wisdom, Milton, before we let you go today for a new author, we want to, we want them to tap into their potential and get their book written, get their story out in the world. How do we, how do we feed our potential as an author and get through all of that hard work to write a book? Any words of wisdom from you as a fellow author? How can we encourage somebody today?
- [30:24]
Milton
Okay, like I'll. The same advice that someone else gave me when I was one in just doing research as to maybe book writing. Someone told me that when it comes to writing a book, he said, you have to choose a topic, say that you, you are passionate about and that you may be knowledgeable on. Of course there's research. You can always, you know, add flesh to the bones. But each and every one, I believe there is a book in each and every one of us. And I would say, share your story. Do you have like, experience in a certain area that you feel you can help other people in that area? You can write about that, you know, do you have like a, a testimony like you were here and now you are here, you understand, like a hero of some sort. Like you were once defeated and now you are victor. And you can share how you overcame the challenges that you once had and help as many people as you possibly can. So there's definitely, there's no limit. But then you just have to get busy, like we mentioned earlier, that society will ostracize you into thinking that you are nothing by glorifying a few amongst us. So you may think that maybe your story is not valid, but you never know how many lives you may reach because of your story. You never know who you will impact because it's. At the end of the day, it's about making impact. You understand all lives are important and your story could become the next big thing.
- [32:16]
Dave
And your story can help people and give light to someone else's path. And you can help somebody in their journey just by telling your story. So, Milton, that's what I love about having you on now two of my different podcasts is you just show up, you share and you encourage and that's great. I think we need more of that in the, in the world. So the fact that you're doing that here and, and helping people through your book, Milton, I think it's a great thing. Thank you for making time to be on Living the Next Chapter. I'm excited for you and your journey and excited to see what's next for you as you live your next chapter. And again, the name of my show. But I'm excited to see what's going to happen for you, Milton, as the book comes out in the world and people fall in love with you even more. I'm just wishing you many great things in the future. Milton, thank you so much for being on my podcast.
- [33:10]
Milton
Oh, thank you, Dave, for having me. Always a pleasure. Always a pleasure. You're amazing. And thank you for all the work that you're doing. Like, it's amazing. Keep it up, man. Thank you.
- [33:21]
Dave
Excellent. I really appreciate being here. Everybody listening. Thank you so much for listening. All the information from Milton will be in the podcast show notes. As always, when the book comes out, if you're listening to it before June, make sure you pre order and follow Milton's Journey. And when that book comes out, be one of the first to buy it. And then leave Milton a great review wherever you buy your book so that Milton will know that you fell in love with what he wrote. And more people will buy the book as well by you leaving a great review. Milton, again, thank you so much for being on Living the Next Chapter.
- [33:56]
Milton
Thank you.
- [34:02]
Dave
Hey, thanks for listening all the way to the end of the podcast. That's a big signal to all of the players, the YouTubes, the apples, the Spotify's that you found value in this episode of Living the Next Chapter. Just by you listening to the end, you just sent a huge bat signal out to the app saying this was a great podcast, a great conversation. So you listening to this point, you've done your job. I have one more ask of you if you know anyone, anyone that would benefit from this conversation. Would you share this episode with them? Would you just get on, send them a message, send them the episode episode, Tell them about this episode, Tell them to a Living in the next chapter.com to get all the information about the podcast. Can you do that for me? Because the more people that hear this message, this episode, the better. I want to support these amazing authors and I know you do as well. So sharing this episode really helps and I appreciate you. See you on the next episode. And thank you for listening. Listening to Living the Next Chapter.