← Living The Next Chapter: Candid Conversations with Authors and Writers for Readers Searching for a New Read
Living The Next Chapter: Candid Conversations with Authors and Writers for Readers Searching for a New Read
E693 - Lally Pia - Fortune Teller’s Prophecy: A Memoir of an Unlikely Doctor
00:43:06
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- [00:01]
A
So my book is a memoir. It's called the Fortune Teller's A Memoir of an Unlikely Doctor. It's won a few awards because it's inspiring. And that is my goal. I mean, I have a job. I wrote this book to try and inspire people to take a chance to never give up. So if I had to say what it is, it's about never giving up, no matter how defeated you are, no matter how many boundaries hit you. Because it's explaining how I did it and doesn't mean that that'll work for you. But I want to impart on people that there is something within you. There's a flame that is just there, and if you give it enough oxygen, it's going to glow and you're going to attract people because you are glowing with what you have within you. So it's just an example of how I went through life, all the, you know, some of the obstacles that went through, and how I made it at the end with a smile on my face.
- [00:59]
B
Welcome back to Living the Next Chapters, the Author Podcast. We get to meet great authors from around the world, and I'm excited to have Lally on the podcast today. I've seen her on a bunch of different shows and the fact that she has time for us, I'm really thrilled to have her here. She's got a great, rich history. She's been all over the world and done some pretty amazing things in her journeys as well. And she's got time for us. I'm really thrilled. Valley. Welcome to Living Next Chapter. Glad to have you here.
- [01:26]
A
Thank you so much.
- [01:27]
B
Excellent. You have been in many, many places. We'll get into that. But where are you joining us from today?
- [01:34]
A
I'm here in California.
- [01:36]
B
Excellent.
- [01:37]
A
Davis, California.
- [01:38]
B
And you've been there most recently for a while now, right?
- [01:41]
A
Yeah, pretty much for the last 40 years, on and off.
- [01:46]
B
But tell the listeners where else you've been because. Yeah, when I go through your list, it's a. It's a lengthy list. All the different places you've been, though, throughout the years.
- [01:56]
A
Yeah, I've been to essentially just four continents. So I was born in Sri Lanka in. In, you know, near. Near India. I then left when I was a baby and then I went to Ghana with my. My parents and my. My family. And I was there for the next 212 years. Then I went to England for a while and a year and a half and then I came here to California. And I've been here. Well, I had a brief stay in Pennsylvania for six years. But that's pretty much it. Four continents and it's all been fun.
- [02:28]
B
We have authors that listen to the show Lally, and they're. They're looking for inspiration from an author that's published. They're listening as new authors. They're just starting their journey early on, and they're looking for some inspiration from somebody who's done what they hope to do one day. If you could have time with a new author to encourage them and share your insights, what comes to mind in the moment that you think would be helpful for a new author to hear as they start their journey?
- [02:57]
A
I would say the first thing is when you're an author, when you're a typical author, you're just there with your book and you're just. It's you and the book and you don't want to. You know, we are in general, we keep to ourselves and we don't go broadcasting. So I was going to say the first thing you've got to think about is actually start building up. Even if you haven't done anything, build up this sort of following or just some kind of. I couldn't even spell social media when I was starting. But I'm saying just keep everything open, even if it isn't how you normally act. It's important to realize that you are writing in order to reach other people. And clearly, if you haven't even thought about how that's going to happen, that's another big part. So that's the first step, figuring out how you're going to have a group of people that will help to broadcast whatever you do. And then the other thing is learn to find a group of other fellow writers who will critique what you're doing. And it's a long process. I could talk about that for a half hour, but bottom line is, you know, that never turn anything down. I won a publishing competition and that's how I got to have my book published. But I wouldn't have guessed that that's how it would work. But I had been doing things, putting things out here and there. So you've got to keep this open mind about anything could happen. Just have faith that what you're writing is good and get people to tell you it's garbage, you know, early on. But never let go of just believing that it'll touch someone because the fact that it's out on paper for the writers is this thing has been burning inside of them. So clearly there is an audience.
- [04:42]
B
So, yeah, yeah, I help podcasters start podcasts, and one of the Things I encourage them to do is to build in public. So let people see your journey. Let people see you come up against an obstacle. How did you overcome it? Let them see your wins and they can come along with you so that when your project's complete and you're ready to talk about it, you have a built in audience that have been with you throughout the journey ready to support you when you launch. So don't hide everything from the world and then go, ta da. Look, I made this book, I'm an author. They're like, I didn't even know, Lally, that you were writing, right? Let people in on the secret, right, that you're building and working, right? Yeah, it's a great idea, I love it. So for you, Lali, who was in your corner early on as an author that inspired you or supported you, who was, who did you look to as a new author to, to get into this, this part of your life now?
- [05:39]
A
Well, what I did was I, I'm a doctor, not a writer. But bottom line is I, early on I thought what do writers do and who, you know, where do they look? And so I just went on meetup. Honestly I went, I was here in Davis, it's like 10 years ago or so and I just meet meetup.com, you know, writers and I developed this wonderful cohort of people that I would meet with every week and I would be shaking like, oh, what do these 10 people think of what I've written? And that really helped me because it wasn't my first career. So it helped me to learn all the lingo and learn, oh gosh, like half my writers don't like this and the other half do. And so I found my way by being there and, and also feeling that warmth of people around you who can actually, it's so hard to put what you're thinking of on paper. So it really helped me to understand that this is how I do it, this is what they don't like and, and sometimes this is what people like and don't like and it's the same group. So your audience is just a mixed bunch. And you'll find out by doing that who really turns on to what you've written. So you get the critique there and the sense of fellowship. And actually Mary Pat Smith was on my group, she actually told me, hey, there's this competition, Lally, you want to try? So you never know where someone will hear something or, and you need to do that by reaching out, forming these people around you.
- [07:09]
B
It's interesting to hear a doctor like you, who's a professional, who knows and has extensive training to be intimidated in a new group setting for something new that you're working on. That's a very interesting dynamic. Lollie to hear that.
- [07:25]
A
Yep. But as a psychiatrist, I'm just like, huh, it's just me and a person. So you're just like, nodding your head. It's completely different from, hello, here I am, come on. So it's a different skill.
- [07:37]
B
So we can all. We can all learn new things, we can all try new things. And don't be intimidated by what you don't know. Right. By being in a group like that, you can really uncover new friendships, new connections, support. You don't have to do this on your own.
- [07:52]
A
Yeah. And honestly, doing a step like, okay, I'm going to put it on, this is throwing yourself into the world. And it takes a lot of courage because you could fall flat. But you've got to believe that maybe after throwing yourself 10 times, one of them is going to make an impact. And that's what you've got to have, the courage. So I think you build it up as you think, oop, another rejection, another rejection. And then you get that one. Then you think, oh, if one person liked it, maybe. So it just grows and builds and it's exciting as heck.
- [08:24]
B
Yeah, it's.
- [08:25]
A
It's not as safe as just sitting in your office and writing, but this is living is putting yourself out there like that.
- [08:32]
B
It's that repetition of writing as well.
- [08:34]
A
Yes.
- [08:35]
B
One of my past guests came on the show and they, they said that Ray Bradbury, an author, was. He basically said, write 52 stories a year, so one a week. And he said, they basically said, the chances of you writing 52 bad stories in a row are pretty hard to do. One of them is going to be good, right? One or two. Right. So the, the likelihood, the odds are against you that you're going to be terrible 52 times in a row. And I'm like, that's very interesting insight to think of it in that context. Right. But repeat, just keep working on it. Work on your craft.
- [09:10]
A
Yep.
- [09:11]
B
I like that.
- [09:11]
A
In fact, when I was. This is not writing, but when I was going to give a presentation in Wyoming in my graduate student school to like a thousand people, and I thought, oh, no. So I. It's 10 minutes. But I read it and I practiced it and I said, and then let. I practice the transitions. And when I gave that speech in Wyoming many years ago, someone said, wow, you were fantastic. And if they'd only known I had practiced it. To the cat, to the chair, to the. Over and over. And suddenly you get the confidence and people think, oh, that's pretty good.
- [09:43]
B
And the cat's looking at you going, are you talking to me? Yeah. Yeah. You're talking to me? Yeah.
- [09:48]
A
And I don't have. I don't have.
- [09:50]
B
No, no, no. Okay, good. Okay, we want to clarify that right away. That's professional medical advice right there. That's good. So, yeah, let's talk a little bit more about your practice as well, Dr. Lally. Like, what. Who have you served? Kind of what has been your medical field we kind of touched on a little bit. But tell us more about your background as well.
- [10:10]
A
There just. Okay. So. So after I became a doctor here in Davis, California, and. And then I went through six years of training because of my children, had medical issues, and it was just very hard to go back to school because I started med school at. So it. And a couple of times I thought, I can't do this. I can't do this. It's too much. I almost quit. Anyway, after I finished the six years of medical school training, I then had to go to residency. And so I did another three years in San Mateo to be a regular psychiatrist, adult psychiatrist, and then I came back to Davis and did two more years of a fellowship to be a child psychiatrist. So that's what I do. So it's not for the faint of heart. It's that you have to do all this training. But I loved it. And what could be more fun? You're learning about your body. What could be more fun than that?
- [11:05]
B
Interesting. Well, that's. I think when we go to see our doctor, for whatever reason, whatever doctor we're seeing, we see the, the. All the. The awards on the wall, all the certificates and diplomas and all of that degrees, but we don't really have a concept of the time that goes behind all of those wall decorations that we see when we visit our doctor. And I just. It's amazing just to hear the dedication to learning, to growing like that needs to be. We need to celebrate that more, I think, as patients visiting our doctors. Like, just, just the desire to learn and know how to do what you do. And when you give advice, there's a lot of knowledge behind your words. There's a lot of insight behind your words. Right. And. But it doesn't end when you walk across the stage and receive your degree. Your education continues all the time. Right.
- [12:01]
A
You're always learning, and you start building up a Thirst for knowledge, because there's never enough. You'll never know how. And right now, I work for the county of Sacramento, so I basically work with people who don't have much money at all. They're getting free medical care and the county patients and a lot of trauma. And part of my story had some traumatic elements. And so it's. I was there on welfare. I was there with them. So it's funny when they look at me like, yeah, you wouldn't get it. I'm on, you know, I'm on food stamps. And I think, hello, I was on food stamps myself. So it's interesting how you can touch people just from that alone, because you've been where they've been when you didn't have it all. So.
- [12:46]
B
Right. And that's probably the best doctor to work with because they're not coming to you from a different level in life and looking at you like, just, come on, you should be fine. Like, I'm good. You should be fine. It's like, wait a minute, Wait a minute. I like a doctor who can speak to me on my terms. I think that's when I walk out of the room going, I don't feel like I was made to feel like I didn't know whatever we were talking about. And I felt foolish by my doctor. That's not a good feeling. I like when a doctor explains things. Doesn't hurry me out of the room because they have the next. Next. But actually connects with me. So I get that from you, Doctor. Like, you just. You want to serve your community, right? Yeah.
- [13:30]
A
And I get. I feel that I'm privileged because people are sharing their deepest, darkest secrets. The places they've been, the things they've not even wanted to tell their spouse about or someone or children have not told their father about. So that just feels like a tremendous responsibility. And just last week, another psychiatrist I was chatting to said, you know, I work with patients thinking, this may be the last time I see you. People come to me for whatever reason, and they may be in bad states. And I like that in some ways that you never know if this is the last day you'll see someone, even if it's the first time. And that makes you really. You know, you can just really put everything you have into making it matter. And I used to work with dead bodies in the past. So that also makes me realize life is so. So transient.
- [14:18]
B
Right. I could put that on an interview that you were doing where you were talking about that and embalming and things. And I'm Like, I have no idea about any of that information. So how does that fit into where you are today? That seems to be a different part of medical training than where you are or is. I'm incorrect?
- [14:43]
A
No. Basically I did that when I had given up on getting a medical training. I was on welfare. I needed to get out of welfare. So I thought, I will take anything to get some money. And so I looked at this job which said director of the Donated Body Program. And I thought, that sounds cool. Except then you go and you have to see this. This basement with lots and lots of bodies. And you realize, oh, you are going to embalm these bodies. You are going to remove the body parts. And I almost quit that job, but it showed me after I stayed there for three years and it showed me just how beautiful life is because you see death every single day. Every day there's two bodies in the cooler. So it's a good thing to be reminded that there is death. Because then you think, hell, what could be worse? I'm alive now.
- [15:37]
B
Yeah. Oh, you think too. Like, I. I don't know if I could do that because I would be thinking of the person in front of me. And this is a. This is a human being who has a life story, a family, there's loved ones. They've had hard days and ease and fun days, you know, like I. I'd want to know this person in front of me right, without being with it. And I would feel a connection to. I just feel connected to people. But I don't know how I would do in that kind of situation. How do you do the job without being so focused on the person in front of you?
- [16:12]
A
In that situation, you start to deal. Bottom line is you deal because you have to. So after a while, it's just a puppet. You have to tell yourself this is not a real person. And when you think it's a real person, you feel gratitude. Like, thank you for giving your body. So medical doctors can learn, you know, if someone wants to learn about the head, they. You give them a head. And so it's. And you can be a teacher for 30 years after you're dead, sometimes. Depends. So it's wonderful. And you know, I actually influenced my father who said, lali, I want to donate my body after I die, after I see what you do. And I said, well, don't donate it yet, because I'm doing this body program. I don't want to see you, dad. And so a couple years ago, he did. He actually passed away at 94. And he gave his body UC Davis. So it sort of came full circle that I had worked at UC Davis and he gave his body. So there's a feeling of, oh, there was, you know, so I'm thinking, I'm good, I can deal with this, you know. And then I remember this 20 something year old girl showed up in my cooler and she had a rose with a stem on it on top of the white sheet that was covering her. And I sobbed. I thought, this is not a puppet, this is a real person under here. So you do, you do in psychiatry have to learn about letting yourself actually feel something sometimes. Otherwise, what kind of a doctor are you? But learning how to care just right, not too much and not too little, is a skill you build up when you're training.
- [17:46]
B
Yeah, I'm always curious. This is a totally different little tangent here, but a dentist can't fix their own teeth. The dentist has to see a dentist. Right? You might have all the knowledge to take care of teeth, but it's very hard to take care of your own teeth. So you have to entrust yourself with someone else. Even though you probably could tell them how to do their job, you still have to entrust them someone else to take care of you. That's right. Dentist needs dental care, psychiatrist needs psychiatric care. You need help. You need someone who understands and you can speak to. And you need, you also need to be cared for. Right. I've had doctors on this podcast who have talked about the importance of sleep, yet they'll do an 18 hour shift in the ER and sleep for a few minutes in between. And I'm like, this seems counterproductive to your book about sleep when you yourself are a terrible example of sleep. And they're like, yeah, that's true. And I'm like, okay, so our doctors need care as well. So when you're dealing with people and you're dealing with some pretty difficult conversations and stories, what do you personally do to take care of yourself to keep yourself healthy?
- [19:01]
A
Yep, I should probably get a psychiatrist. I don't have one, but I use my friends. I mean, I honestly do. Whoever. I don't, it's not that I tell what happens because I can't, but I help to have these. It helps to have these friends to ground me. Really. There's so much wisdom one can get from other people. My husband doesn't want to hear about it, but it's just fun to just have so many friends and activities. And the training was critical because when you have that training, you're learning to Handle these emotions you're learning, and it gradually becomes another part of you. And honestly, I honestly work in this room and I shut the door and I can usually shut it all. The one time I actually found I had a hard time when things got to me was when I was reading about. I had to present for in court about two children that had been traumatized. But I took the charts home and I shouldn't have because I had made that a boundary. Do not take the paperwork home. But I did. I took the work home. And that night I had horrible dreams of them being in a car with me and they were getting murdered. And so I'm trying to say that I broke my own boundary just a little bit. And in that crack, I allowed all the stuff to get to my subconscious. So I do set very, very good boundaries. But it's just practice. After doing this for years, it gets better.
- [20:25]
B
Yeah.
- [20:26]
A
But I still want to cry with someone who's had something happen or lost a dog or lost a father. So it doesn't mean I'm just completely flat. Yeah.
- [20:35]
B
So if somebody wanted to follow your path, Dr. Lee, and they wanted to go into. To serve like you are, the patients that you serve, any words of wisdom about what it would take as a person, your personality, kind of how you show up, your empathy, what do you think is some of the key elements that we need to sit in your chair and help people the way you do, just from your own personal opinion.
- [20:59]
A
That's a tough one. I would say, you see, if you start seeing the people that you serve, whether you're a doctor or whatever, if you see the people as a gift to you, as a gift, a door that opened because this person came and told you, do you know what happened? Whether it doesn't matter what the issue is, but they have then expanded your universe. I honestly talk too much. I talk to people who are cleaning out the bathroom when I'm going on a plane. I do. I just say thank you for what you do. Because I can't imagine something so horrible as sitting there cleaning and people are just going in and out of the airport and don't even look at them. So I would just say, actually, you know, Dave Carnegie and just like smile and all that stuff. He used to say, I really believe if you let people in, you just get so much, your world becomes huge. And so just see each person as someone who is going to give something to you and you can give something, too. It may sound all whatever, but that's honestly how I think. I love People and how to do that is whatever. Just enjoy it. And once you start doing that, once you start picking up a conversation in an elevator, you'll find you can do that. And because people. People open up to you.
- [22:21]
B
Yeah.
- [22:21]
A
And suddenly a world is not a lonely place anymore.
- [22:25]
B
Well, I love talking to people like you, doctor, because it's. You have again, you come from a heart of service and you care about your. The people you work with. So that makes you stand out. I just, I love, I love talking to you and learning from you. So thank you for sharing this, this with us. I want to jump into your book because that's really the main reason we're here as we want to talk about your book and share this with our reading audience as well, because they're looking for. To connect with you as an author and they want. They're really interested in your book. So if you could give us a love letter to a reader about your book. What is your book about? Who's it for? What's the intent of your book? If you could kind of put it into that context for us? Tell us about your book. Let's talk. Let's start talking about this.
- [23:10]
A
Okay. So my book is a memoir. It's called the Fortune Teller's A Memoir of an Unlikely Doctor. It's one of few awards because it's inspiring. And that is my goal. I mean, I have a job, but I wrote this book to try and inspire people to take a chance to never give up. So if I had to say what it is, it's about never giving up, no matter how defeated you are, no matter how many boundaries hit you, because it's explaining how I did it and doesn't mean that that'll work for you, but I want to impart on people that there is something within you. There's a flame that is just there. And if you give it enough oxygen, it's going to glow and you're going to attract people because you are glowing with what you have within you. So it's just an example of how I went through life, all the, you know, some of the obstacles that went through, and how I made it at the end with a smile on my face. So did you want more about the book?
- [24:13]
B
I don't know. Yeah, we're going to talk about this.
- [24:16]
A
Okay.
- [24:16]
B
When was the book released for us as readers?
- [24:20]
A
Last year, April 30th of 2024.
- [24:24]
B
How long did it take to write the book?
- [24:27]
A
About five or six years.
- [24:28]
B
Okay. Wow. Because, yeah, I wasn't.
- [24:32]
A
I wasn't I wasn't really a memoir writer or anything. I wasn't even a writer. I was learning to be a writer. But people say you got to put your story down.
- [24:39]
B
So did you ever, did you ever think that you would become an author earlier on in your. Your career?
- [24:45]
A
I wanted to be a writer from age 8. I really. Because I was reading, reading everything I could lay my hands on.
- [24:51]
B
Yeah.
- [24:52]
A
Oh, yeah. I didn't want to be a doctor. I want to be a writer.
- [24:56]
B
Well, now you got both. Okay, that's good. Who would you say is your, your reader then? Who do you have in mind would be the ultimate focus for this book?
- [25:07]
A
I'd say about three different kinds of people. One would be people who are in med school or thinking of a health associated field and just thinking, wow, can I do it? Or I'm a girl, I'm not. I talk to UC Davis, to a bunch of students. Students. So that would be one of the audiences. People who are and want to see my path and how hard it was and how I made it through, who may be struggling. So someone struggling in college. I want to also reach people who are in the mental health field. You know, sometimes. You know, you talked about a dentist earlier. You know, you see a dentist when your teeth are bad usually. And so you come to a psychiatrist when things are not going well. So it's really important for people to realize that there are going to be good days because you can just be there in many of these fields, you can see horrible things, you can hear horrible stories, but you realize that you see them only when things are bad. And there are times when they. I mean, I'm happiest when I take a patient off all my medicine and they walk away. So like a dentist, you see people when things are bad. But I'm privileged to be exposed to this, if you will, because people have bad teeth all around you and people have bad lives all around you. So you're privileged to have a piece of this world and then you can hopefully send them on their way and they do better. So it's to give some sort of compassion and sort of like hang in there to the providers of mental health. And then maybe the third audience is people who've been with a person who's not good to them, a man or someone who is overbearing. To just think, I've been under this so long because I was to be. To. To actually understand that. I understand that even right now I'm sort of talking and speaking. I'm not this. What shall I Say I was just very, very naive and accepted stuff that I shouldn't have. And so it's just helping people to break out of that box that you can be in and the importance of friends and your beliefs to help you grow out of that box. The best thing I ever did was getting out of my first relationship with my ex husband. So just to give some hope to people who are in that box, Based
- [27:29]
B
on the title of the book, what makes you an unlikely doctor?
- [27:34]
A
Well, I was told I was going to be a doctor from the time I was born, was one month after. And so my parents were excited when I became a doctor. And I was in Ghana and I got into med school because my grades were good. And so I thought, hey, it's going to come true. So it wasn't unlikely then I was going to finish it and then come to America with the family. And the unlikely part happened because just when I was halfway through med school, there was a political trouble. And it's a long story, hence, read my book. But bottom line is it was I found out there was a problem with the university closing down. And I didn't know what to do because my family was in America and the university closed down. And so I didn't finish med school. I was halfway through and I didn't even get that degree. I was going to get halfway through. And then I went to the Accra, the embassy in Accra and found out that they messed up my green card. They gave it to me as a dependent. I was an adult. And they, they said it's going to take a year and a half. So the reason it's unlikely is that the next 10 years were. I was bouncing countries went to, you know, Wales. And so by the time I finally got here to America, I was no doctor. I was age 34 and I had, I had nothing. I had just. I had two girls, except. And that was all I had. So at that moment, you'd have said, you're not a doctor. Oh, and then I worked the dot. The body program.
- [29:11]
B
Yeah.
- [29:11]
A
So it was very unlikely because it was because of working the body program that I, My anatomy instructor, Dr. Gross, said, Lally, didn't you go to med school in the past? You want to try this time? And I actually picked up a bachelor's at UC Davis. I picked up a master's at Penn State. And I thought, hey, I can apply.
- [29:31]
B
Why not?
- [29:32]
A
I know about the bodies now. Let me look at. So it was a very circuitous, circuitous path all the way. But I made it Finally. And it's so. It's kind of interesting to see the way, you know, boundaries came up and how I navigated them.
- [29:50]
B
It's almost like you had a finish line and then they moved the finish line, and now the race is longer than it was ever meant to be. Admit most people would give up, right?
- [30:01]
A
Exactly. Most people would. And everyone's finish line is a moving target. I would say.
- [30:07]
B
Yeah.
- [30:07]
A
What do you really know is going to happen? Nobody knows.
- [30:10]
B
Interesting. But the perseverance to keep moving, not give up. When you're very close to giving up, when the world is telling you to stop, you didn't. Right. So that's inspiring.
- [30:22]
A
And that's for my family, you know, like, when you, you know, fell down, they wouldn't just say, oh, poor thing. They'd say, oh, you'll get over this. You know, it comes from my. I'm so grateful to have such a warm family support. Many people don't, but you learn it by just picking yourself up time and time again.
- [30:38]
B
Does your story impact how you treat patients today?
- [30:42]
A
Absolutely.
- [30:43]
B
Yeah.
- [30:43]
A
I think. I think everyone's story will impact how they treat patients.
- [30:48]
B
Because if somebody comes to you and say, I'm facing a big challenge, I don't think I can do it. In your mind, I could think you're like, I got things to tell you. Like, I also have faced big things, but I'm sitting here today as a result of not giving up. So for you as a patient, as I'm talking you to. To you today, even though this might seem insurmountable, you as well, caring for this patient, have also feel the same way as food stamps. You feel the same way. You've gone through the same experience to some degree, where you have a way to have empathy for the person in front of you, Right?
- [31:25]
A
Absolutely. But there's a subtle difference. Because I'm working to help with them. I don't say like, hey, I did this and I did that, because that makes them feel worse. Like, what am I doing? So it's not that. It's. When you're working as a treatment provider, you need to get into their story and sort of understand what they're coming from and what they're. And then find ways to. To give them the skills, you know, along with therapy. I don't just. Medicine doesn't fix everything at all. But. But. So it's a different. I don't. I mean, it's. Very few of my patients. I'll allude to some of my story, but you don't you keep your story yourself, but you allow them to reach, you know, to you. You follow them where they go, and then you can try and navigate. Okay, which way do I get out of this? Which makes my work fun. You know, when you're, when you're working with body parts, it's like, ah, fix this one, fix this one. But with psychiatry, people come with thousands of different, I mean, unlimited different issues. And so it's wonderful to go on this path of discovery with them.
- [32:30]
B
Yeah. So I just wonder how your, how your, how you serve people today would have been different had your initial beginnings with going through medical training just happened as if it should have and you were done and boom, it all happened before you came to the US how your, how you're, how you serve people, if that happened compared to the way you ended up here and how you ended up serving, because like, again, you don't have to say it to your, the people that are sitting with you, but you have that in your mind. You have those experiences to draw from without putting yourself in front of. I get that 100. But I just wonder because I think sometimes if your medical training is pretty standard and you follow the rules, follow the training, and you're done, but you've never really lived it the way you have. If maybe your approach might be different because you haven't lived and been on food stamps and been down to the hardest points that you've ever been in your life, which has given you context, which makes you connect in a different way than someone who had it a little bit easier. Possibly.
- [33:41]
A
Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. It makes you more rounded. But I can't speculate I would have been different. But I know that even with my daughter, who's a doctor, she's a child neurologist, she said that she had a case where someone was really impacted by a crash and the mother knew the child was dying. And so the mother said, I want to talk to you about how he plays, pushes the trains. She talked about his toys. And my daughter, thank goodness, she actually said, let's talk about toys. She didn't talk about neurology. She didn't talk about the brain. So by being in a family on a surrounding of that is the expectation that you'll be there for your patients. You really can help them with what they're doing, regardless of your medical background. I don't think I exactly answered the question, but I'm trying to say you're absolutely right. I would not have known how I would be different.
- [34:45]
B
Yeah, right.
- [34:47]
A
It's been quite A road. And I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful for everything I actually say to my patients. May your road be rough because what do you learn if you're just on this smooth road? How do you find out what's within you to overcome what, what you face in life?
- [35:04]
B
So what about somebody's listening, Dr. Lally, and they, they don't know if they've never sat down with a professional like you, and they're just kind of that do it yourself type person. They just think they could fix everything themselves. And those people. Sometimes you don't have the skills to fix yourself, fix your home, fix your car, fix whatever. Things aren't the way they're supposed to be, but you should go talk to somebody. What are some of the initial things that you as a doctor need to work through to connect with somebody who's a do it yourselfer and they think they can just fix themselves. Because I want people to work with people like you to come find somebody that cares for them, has the skills and the training to help. Right. Again, I. Dentists can't fix their own teeth. But if I'm a do it yourselfer, and I think I can just take care of my own, my own challenges in life, what's the benefit of working with a professional?
- [36:00]
A
I would say that I used to think, I mean, I said, I'm not seeing a psychiatrist now, but I used to think, I can do it myself too. I can. And yet I was in this relationship with this controlling person and I thought, oh, you're supposed to go see. Oh, there's a free whatever. So I went ahead and saw a therapist and I pulled. My story poured out. I don't know how the therapist was really good, but it started pouring out. And at the end of it, she said, of course. I said, I think I should leave him. And she said, of course you should. And that's all she said. She said, of course you should. And it opened up in me like, oh, somebody else thinks I should do this. So I'm saying that it was just amazing to me that by talking to this person who was trained, I, you know, she said, she helped me understand that of course this is a path I should take. So if you are someone like me who just thinks I can do it, I can. Whatever I would say first, you don't have to see a therapist first. Try and open up to a friend. And if it's a good friend, they will tell you what you, you know, you can't do. Take the log from your eye Then you'll see the speck in the eye. So they will. They will be able to suggest to you, you need to see, we're worried about you. So the first step is be humble. Be humble. Just say to yourself, I need some help. I need some help. And so if you don't even think I need some help, you know, there's no point in us having this conversation. But once you realize you need some help because your friend said it, or your wife or your husband, once you know that and you have that dare to just say, I will give this to someone who's trained, who's worked with so many different kinds of people. Dare to hope, dare to hope that things are going to get better. Because that's what the other thing is. People think, I can deal with it, but they. They deal with so much that is not fun for them. They hate their job, they hate this, they hate that. So if you think, you know, life is so beautiful, I know I can get better. I know I can get more out of life than. Speaking to that trained person may help you because it may help you make a decision you never thought you would because life is wonderful. You never know where, like you've said, one thing leads to another, leads to another, and suddenly doors open around you. But what scares me is those people who don't say anything. I. I say, it's like being in a. In a circle of. Of cement. You can't. You can't even poke. You don't have the energy to poke a hand out to reach people. But if you dare, if you get help and stick that one hand through that cement and someone grabs it, you never know how far you'll go. So.
- [38:42]
B
Excellent. I love it. Dr. Lally. My show is called Living the Next Chapter. So one of the things I like to ask my guests, because I know my audience was maybe curious as well. You have the fortune teller's prophecy. Amazing. How are you living your life? Next chapter? Do you think there's more writing for you in the future?
- [39:01]
A
You never know. I'm almost finished with my next book.
- [39:04]
B
Hey. Good.
- [39:05]
A
It's about a psychiatrist working in a jail and, yeah, working with abused children, which is very topical right now. But anyway, that's my next thing and I'm looking to getting my screenplay out. Someone's helped me write the first chapter in the. It's a limited TV series, so that's.
- [39:27]
B
That's exciting.
- [39:28]
A
Yep. And he's spoken to some people, so we'll see where this goes.
- [39:33]
B
Wow. So some great, great opportunities on the horizon for you.
- [39:37]
A
Absolutely.
- [39:38]
B
Exciting. It's exciting. Well, I. The reason I ask if you have new projects is because I just selfishly want more time with you. So that's kind of the way I bring you back. So let's keep in touch because I love to celebrate as new projects come up for you and you have the opportunity to come back and tell us more. I know the audience would love to reconnect with you in the future as well.
- [40:00]
A
And you're very kind and I'm glad you're doing what you do because you're connecting, aren't you? You're not staying in that concrete. You're connecting.
- [40:08]
B
It's perfect. It's a great. And I get time with great people like you. So I feel inspired just having time with you. So thank you for making time for all of us. I really appreciate you being on the show.
- [40:18]
A
Thank you. Dude.
- [40:19]
B
Excellent. Dr. Lally, where do we go to connect with you, to follow up, get more information, follow your journey and all of the upcoming exciting things as well for you? Where would you like to send a listener?
- [40:30]
A
Lallypia.com it's L A L L Y P I A dot com is my website or if you just type Lallypeia something will show up that I've done, you know, so. So because I've got an unusual name. L A L L Y P I A. It usually populates with many things. My books, my. My audio. I've got audio, an audiobook if people want to read that. It's electronic book so there's multiple different ways to access bookstores. You can ask for them. It's called Hoch and Dallas Prophecy. Yeah.
- [41:03]
B
Excellent. So we'll have links for that in the show. Notes for everyone to come and grab that. My encouragement for everyone listening. When you buy Lally's book, please leave a great review. Lally would love to hear your thoughts about the book. Also brings more people to the book as they are making a purchasing decision. So write why you love the book. Not just great book, great author, that's nice. But what connected with you as a reader because I think that would be really helpful for anyone else looking at Dr. Lally's book for the first time. Your words as a review really help. Help. So Dr. Lally, thank you so much for being on the show.
- [41:37]
A
Thank you and everyone listening. Believe, believe. You can just believe.
- [41:41]
B
Great words to end off. Thank you Dr. Lally. Hey, thank you so much again for pressing play. As you've heard, great guests on the show and one thing you didn't hear in this conversation is what. What did you not hear? Think about it for a second. That's right. Not a single solitary commercial for a mattress or a supplement or whatever you call it. No. Why? Because we don't want to break up the conversation with commercials. So the fact that you're still here means that you are a fan of the show, I'm assuming. So if you want to help to keep the podcast going and to make me feel really happy. All I really care about is coffee. Okay. I just got to be honest. I love coffee. I'm drinking one right now. Starting to get cold. I need. I need to warm it up. Helping us with our Buy me a coffee link over at living the next chapter.com and also in the show notes helps kind of keep the lights on around here. Remember, I'm doing this for free. I. I'm paying for everything, so I would love to have a little coffee donation. You know, even five bucks kind of fills up my cup. And I would love to enjoy a coffee from you. So if you're interested, again, thank you for listening, but you can use our Buy me a Coffee link and fill up the cup. Thanks for being here.