E695 - Becca Pearce - You Don’t Have to Achieve to Be Loved - Identity, Health Scare and Rebuilding, and For What

Summary

Podcast Summary

"Living The Next Chapter" – Episode E695:

Guest: Becca Pearce

Host: Dave Campbell

Date: April 3, 2026

Episode Title: "You Don’t Have to Achieve to Be Loved – Identity, Health Scare and Rebuilding, and For What"

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Overview of the Episode

This episode features a candid and deeply personal conversation between host Dave Campbell and author/executive coach Becca Pearce. They discuss Becca’s new book You Don’t Have to Achieve to Be Loved, diving into themes of identity, resilience, health crises, shifting values, and the often-painful journey of rebuilding a life after loss and change. The episode is filled with honest insights for anyone facing feelings of being “stuck”, struggling with their self-worth, or navigating major life transitions, especially high achievers.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Becca’s Background and Turning Points

• Location and Backstory ([02:11]): Becca is based near Baltimore, Maryland, and has lived there for most of her life.
• Major Career Role ([11:48]): In 2011, Becca was appointed by the Maryland governor to implement the Affordable Care Act’s (Obamacare) health exchange in Maryland—a high-profile, high-pressure mission.
• Public Setback ([12:48]): When the health exchange failed to launch properly, Becca lost her job very publicly. She shares the emotional fallout of losing not just her position, but her professional identity:

  “I lost my identity first when I lost my job publicly, and then I lost my identity again when I couldn’t walk...” ([16:15], Becca)

Health Crisis and Personal Rebuilding

• Discovery of a Brain Tumor ([13:54]): In 2015, hearing loss led to a diagnosis of a benign, but inoperable brain tumor. The diagnosis and subsequent surgery changed her life.
• Long-Term Impacts ([00:00]/[13:54]):

  “My face was paralyzed for an entire year. I’m mostly blind in my left eye, I’m deaf in my left ear. I have severe balance issues. ...It took me about a year to get back to where I was.”

• Struggle for Normalcy and Realignment of Priorities ([13:54], [16:07]):

  “I went back to work because I had to prove to myself that I could do the job...until the day that I finally did it...And I just thought to myself, ‘Why am I doing this? All I want to do is put my daughter on the bus one more day.’”

• Shift in Perspective: The brush with mortality made Becca re-evaluate what truly mattered—family, being present, self-worth outside of achievement.

Writing Journey and Advice for Aspiring Authors

• The Impetus to Write ([04:26]): For years, friends encouraged her to share her story. She struggled with “who would read my book” until she realized her lived experience was affecting others.
• Purpose-Driven Memoir ([04:51]):

  “My purpose for writing the book is I don’t want anybody else to go through what I had to go through to change their life.”

• Writing as Healing ([06:29]):

  “Every day that I wrote this book, I cried and I healed and I relived...The perspective really changed the narrative of the story.”

• Learning Craft ([07:19]-[09:04]):
  • Sought an editor early to help keep her natural voice.
  • Worked with a story coach (rare among guests) to shape her narrative around the hero’s journey, and realized:

    “It’s hard as a person to see yourself as a hero...but you have gone through this journey and come out the other side.” ([09:21])

• Advice for New Writers:
  • You don’t have to write daily—find what works for you ([10:10]).
  • “Block out a day...so you can be in that space, and that’s what worked for me.” ([10:38])

Parenting Through Crisis

• Role Reversal with Her Daughter ([18:20]):

  “She very much decided she was the parent at that time. ...Right about the time that I started to get better…she actually went through some severe anxiety.”

• Open Communication:

  “I finally said, ‘You know what, I’m the mommy. I got it. Thank you for taking care of me, but I got it. You don’t need to take care of me anymore.’” ([18:56])

Book Insights: “You Don’t Have to Achieve to Be Loved”

• Core Message ([20:29]):

  “It is an anthem for people who have spent their entire life thinking…they needed to be achieving. …People love you just because you are. It has nothing to do with your title or your job or your income or anything else.”

• Audience ([22:37]):
  • Anyone who feels “something’s not quite right”—successful on the outside, but dissatisfied within.
  • “It’s absolutely made for the person who is looking around their life right now and saying, ‘I’m not sure this is where I’m supposed to be. Something’s not quite right.’"
• Change Process ([20:29], [24:11]):
  • The book is a step-by-step guide with journaling prompts.
  • Addresses “one foot in, one foot out” stage in big life changes—navigating fear of judgment, social ties, self-identity ([24:11]).
• Letting Go of External Validation:

  “People love the inside. They couldn’t care less what your title is…Sometimes it’s the outer breaking that needs to happen...so much more to offer...don’t need to stay in that box.” ([20:29])

Insights on Change, Ego, and Core Values

• Recovering from Public/Professional Loss ([27:19]):
  • Steps: breathe, recognize those who love you, notice the good, express anger productively, look at yourself honestly:

    “There’s a five step process. The first one is breathe...just step away...recognize the good in the world...get the anger out...challenge yourself on your own thinking.” ([27:41])

  • On accountability:

    “We all like to think that it’s somebody else’s fault, but it’s usually not…never 100% somebody else’s fault.” ([29:08])

• Core Values ([31:06]):

  “If you’re frustrated with somebody, there’s a good chance that your core values are getting trumped on.”

  • Example: “One of my core values is kind directness. ...as a coach, we get paid to tell people things nobody else is going to tell them, and I do it walking directly by your side, holding your hand.” ([32:02])

Moving Forward: New Chapters and Coaching

• Author’s Next Steps ([33:29]):
  • Plans to embrace writing more personally, not just as marketing, but to “put myself out there in a different way.”
• Potential Audio/Podcast Project ([35:13]):
  • Considering an audiobook and open to starting a podcast as a way to share her message more broadly.
• Coaching Practice ([37:33]):
  • Ideal client: successful, but stuck—those feeling off, unclear on what’s wrong or where to go next.
  • Action-oriented coaching, including planning, finances, tangible steps, and not just motivational talk:

    “I’m the coach that’s going to help you identify exactly what it is. ...and then we are going to get down in the nitty gritty...” ([37:53])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I lost my identity first when I lost my job publicly, and then I lost my identity again when I couldn’t walk...” ([16:15], Becca)
• “All I want to do is put my daughter on the bus one more day. ...all I knew that mattered in life was spending time with her and my family.” ([13:54], Becca)
• “My purpose for writing the book is I don’t want anybody else to go through what I had to go through to change their life.” ([04:51], Becca)
• “People love you just because you are. It has nothing to do with your title or your job or your income or anything else.” ([20:29], Becca)
• “If you’re frustrated with somebody, there’s a good chance that your core values are getting trumped on.” ([31:06], Becca)
• “There’s a five step process. The first one is breathe...just step away...recognize the good in the world...get the anger out...challenge yourself on your own thinking.” ([27:41], Becca)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:00] – Becca’s health scare, surgery, and aftermath
• [04:26] – Her initial doubts as an author, and what finally changed her mind
• [06:29] – Writing as a process of self-discovery and healing
• [10:10] – Advice to new writers about finding a routine that fits you
• [11:48] – Story of implementing Obamacare in Maryland, and losing her job
• [13:54] – Discovery of brain tumor, recovery, and re-examining priorities
• [16:07]-[17:25] – Loss of identity, need for external/internal validation, the true value of achievement
• [18:20] – Parenting while incapacitated; role reversal with her daughter
• [20:29] – What the book is about: shifting the foundation from achievement to self-worth
• [24:11] – Navigating change: “one foot in, one foot out”
• [27:19] – Recovering from public setbacks, ego blows, and starting over
• [31:06] – The importance of core values in decision making and fulfillment
• [33:29] – Becca’s next steps as a writer and coach
• [37:33] – Who Becca works with as a coach and how she helps

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Resources and Where to Find Becca Pearce

• Book: You Don’t Have to Achieve to Be Loved: Escape the Lies You’ve Been Sold to Design the Life You Want
  • Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Target, wherever books are sold ([36:08])
• Website: www.morebeccapearce.com (not the pie, the pea version)
• LinkedIn: Rebecca Pearce
• Coaching: Works with high-achieving professionals ready for transformative change

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Conclusion

This episode is a compelling exploration of identity, resilience, and the shift from achievement-based validation to inner contentment. Becca Pearce’s story is a powerful testament to the possibility of growth and fulfillment beyond titles and external success. Authors, high-achievers, and anyone facing change will find wisdom and encouragement in her journey—and practical strategies for their own.

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Transcript

[A]

And I mean, the good news is it was benign, inoperable, which are the best two words you can hear when somebody says brain tumor. But that's still a really big deal. My face was paralyzed for an entire year. For those of you who are not watching online, I still have residual impacts from that. I'm mostly blind in my left eye, I'm deaf in my left ear. I have severe balance issues. Severe. So it took me, you know, I had to learn to walk again. And so it took me about a year to get back to where I was. Right. So I. With surgery in May, I spent the summer learning to walk again, find myself again, and then went back to work because I had to prove to myself that I could do the job I didn't want to. This was never going to take this away from me, right? And I had been a former CEO. I was just going to be back on my track and this is who I was. I'm going to keep going, going, going until the day that I finally did it. I finally proved to myself that I could do the job again. And I just thought to myself, why am I doing this, everybody?

[B]

Welcome back to Living the Next chapter. It's the Author Podcast. Get to meet great people from around the world who love to tell stories and share their story and also encourage you as an author as well that if you have a message, if you have a story and some something you want to share with the world, you can do this. And so many people start books, not everyone completes it, but I want to celebrate all the authors that have got to the finish line and actually seen the results of their hard work. And Rebecca's here with me today. We're going to be talking about her journey, how she got to the idea of writing the book and some of the major things she's kind of worked through in life, health wise and things. It's just, it's amazing, it's inspiring and I hope you're really going to enjoy our conversation. Rebecca, nice to have you here on the podcast. Welcome to the show.

[A]

Thank you so much for having me. I'm happy to be here.

[B]

Excellent. Good stuff, good stuff. I like to start here with everybody because we have a global audience and I love when people mention where they're from because people listening are like, wait, that's where I live. So, Rebecca, Rebecca, where do you live in this big world of ours?

[A]

I am just outside of Baltimore, Maryland in the United States.

[B]

Nice, Excellent. Is that home base for most of your life?

[A]

Then it has been home based, born and Raised. I went to school 900 miles away, and then I moved to Florida for two years, and here I am back in Baltimore.

[B]

Awesome.

[A]

All right.

[B]

I've never been to Baltimore. What's something I must see, must do thing I do if I arrive in

[A]

Baltimore, the most popular things are either the Orioles or the Ravens. So those are very easily. You know, the Camden Yarns was one of the first baseball stadiums that all new baseball stadiums were built after and look like. And so it's. It's an OG of the new, so it's really a great place to go visit.

[B]

So you saw that Canada had a little bit in, like, the World Series this year. We didn't finish, but we. We did pretty good for a bunch of Canadians, right? So.

[A]

Yes. And. And we're a part of the AL east, too, so we were rooting for you.

[B]

Okay. Oh, there you go. Well, that's nice to hear. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's funny.

[A]

I always.

[B]

It's funny when I talk to my US Friends and they're talking about baseball, and I'm like, don't forget we have a team here, too. They're like, oh, yeah, that's right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, Canadians. Forgot about you guys. Yeah, that's good. I love baseball. I love. That was a pretty interesting series, too. So that ball that got hit and then stuck in the wall, I'm like, what the heck is that? Like, that's. What's the odds of that? Anyways, enough baseball. We're not a baseball podcast. Dave, get back to. Back to it. Let's talk about your journey as an author. Becca. Like, you get down to the idea of writing a book, and I'm sure there's. There's some. Some mental things you need to work through, process of writing, kind of a. Like, who would read my book? That kind of thing. I hear that often from my guests on the show, and I have authors who listen to this show, and they're here for inspiration from someone who's done it, and they're just beginning. You've done it. So there's things that, you know that could be really helpful for an author that's listening, and I'd love to kind of get your. Get your thoughts and your encouragement for that person that's listening. They're just starting out, and they're trying to figure out who would ever read my stuff. Like, am I just writing this for myself? Am I writing this for an audience? Can you have any words of wisdom, any thoughts around that for an author listening?

[A]

Yeah, absolutely. I was there for a long time. For 10 years, people have been saying to me, oh, you've got to write a book. And I kept thinking, well, who's going to read my book? Like, why would anybody read my book? And it wasn't until a couple years ago, maybe two and a half years ago, where I finally started hearing what people were saying to me. And some of it was, you need to know that I changed my life because I heard your story.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And so it was at that point that I started to take in what people were saying and actually accept that maybe my story was different than other people's and that I was open to the thought of writing a book. And then I spent several months talking to whether I was going to get a ghostwriter or whether I could find a publisher or how I was going to go through this. And finally I sat down with a publisher who was a really good fit. And what they said to me, it was a long strategy session. And they said, here's what you need to know. I understand that you have a story to tell. People don't read memoirs unless you're famous. So what we need to do is figure out how to tell your story in so much that it actually helps the people that you want to be talking to. And so we spend a long time really getting into what is my purpose. And my purpose for writing the book is I don't want anybody else to go through what I had to go through to change their life. And so it was really digging into that that helped me understand, okay, this piece of my story is really important to the people who are going to read this book. And these other pieces are. Yeah, they're important to me, but they aren't going to help somebody else move forward. And so that was really powerful for me. And the other thing I would say is this. There were many days, in fact, every day that I wrote this book and I wrote my story. I cried and I heale and I relived. And there were so many pieces of it that I could not have done 10 years ago. So the perspective really changed the narrative of the story.

[B]

Well, the process of writing was like a large download for you of all of the feelings and all the information and all the stories out of you kind of like it just out of me.

[A]

And not only that, there were several things that I didn't realize until they showed up out of my fingers on the computer. Really, I was like, oh, oh, I didn't realize that.

[B]

So you're almost in a sense talking to yourself and coaching yourself and conversing with yourself in the process of writing?

[A]

Yes. Yeah. And not only that, I had to unwrite some stories. Right. Like, in my brain, I had certain stories, and then I would write it down. I'd be like, that actually isn't true. Right. So it was this process of not only learning new things about myself, but untelling myself the stories that I had held in my brain for, you know, eight to 10 years.

[B]

Would you have considered yourself to be a writer before starting this book?

[A]

Oh, my gosh, no.

[B]

No. Okay, so there's some mechanics that you need to learn just to do the task. How did you learn how to do that?

[A]

I sat down, and many people have told me that my book is written as if I'm sitting next to them, speaking to them.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Um, and what I did is I. I met with my editor early on to say, this is my. This is my normal cadence. This is how I normally speak. I feel like I have to add words because I'm normally a person of few words, you know? And so I kind of shared what my concerns were, and she helped me kind of backtrack and say, okay, well, however you're most comfortable, let's focus on it this way. And she. She gave me direction on how to communicate.

[B]

Yeah, I would. I'd echo that. I'm. I'm one of those few words people. My wife might disagree with that, but I'm one of those few words type people, and I'd be afraid that I just wouldn't have enough content for a book.

[A]

Yes. Right. And it turns out that we ended up cutting out probably 10 to 15% of what I had written.

[B]

Oh, really? So there was more. Okay, good.

[A]

So I had more than I thought. I really did.

[B]

Okay. So beyond having, like, some coaching is around anyone else from the writing community that was around you or that you came in contact with during the writing of your book.

[A]

So the publisher that I use, Niche Press Works, they helped me actually also have a story coach to help me kind of work through what the hero's journey looks like and what would really work within a story. And so that was really powerful, too, to work with somebody who he does a lot, you know, a lot in movies. And so he really helped kind of say, okay, you always need conflict. You always, you know, you kind of going through what makes a good story.

[B]

Wow. A story coach that. I don't hear that very often from my guests. That's interesting.

[A]

Yeah, it was really powerful.

[B]

A good working relationship with this person then too, then for you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. What did you learn from a story coach. Just kind of the process of working with somebody like that for yourself. How did that help you kind of rethink?

[A]

It helped me rethink. It's hard as a. As a person, I think, to see yourself as a hero. Right. But what he allowed me to see is that maybe I've. Okay. And if you have trouble with that word, that doesn't mean you haven't lived the hero's journey. That doesn't mean that you haven't gone through this journey and come out the other side, which is really what the hero's journey is. Right. You face all of this adversity and you come out stronger the other side. It's okay to see yourself that way.

[B]

Yeah. That's a very popular foundation for storytelling, right, that hero's journey. And yeah, you're going to see it in every movie. You're going to see it in everything. So it's nice that you have that framework to kind of work with. It's good. Any other tips for new author listening? Just general encouragement for them to get out and write this week.

[A]

I think for me, it was really understanding how I function as a writer. So a lot of people will say, oh, you need to write 30 minutes every day. Well, that wasn't going to work for me because I needed to get so in touch with my emotions of what the story was that I blocked out an entire day. So figuring out what works for you. So once a week I would block out a day and just turn on, you know, turn off all my email, all that kind of thing, so I can be in that space, and that's what worked for me.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

So I think it's really important to recognize what works for you when you begin this process or what's not working for you. So you can shift what does work for you to what does work for you.

[B]

The side benefit of shutting everything else off for a day to create space to write is also a bonus to the writing process. Right. Because just disconnecting, I don't even know. I don't even know if many of us listening could do that. Just take. Shut off our phone, shut off our email, and just focus on something else for the day. That's. That's an interesting side bonus to the whole process, right? Yeah, interesting. Okay, well, I might have to try that because I'm always connected. Always. My phone's looking at me and giving me my next prompt to do the next thing. Right. So interesting. Okay, let's talk a little about your personal story because it really is the foundation of your book. You shared with me a little bit of your health journey and I'd love to kind of give the audience a little understanding of some of the things that have happened to you and that led you to today. Kind of start us off, start us off in your career because you were helping people in your career. Really a passion for you. Expand a little bit on what you were doing and how you were helping people.

[A]

Sure. So in 2011, I was identified by the governor of the state of Maryland in the US to implement Obamacare, which is, was a new. The Affordable Care act had just been passed. It was a new way to offer health insurance to people who had previously been unable to receive health insurance because they were too poor to be able to afford it. And so I was responsible for implementing the state based exchange in the state of Maryland. I was hired in 2011. We had an immovable start date of October 1, 2013. And we were fundamentally changing everything within every system we had. I could not have believed more in what we were doing or tried harder to make it work. And on day one, it did not turn on. And I lost my job quite publicly because of it because, you know, accountability and responsibility are in the same place. And I was the CEO of this and it didn't work. So I lost my job quite publicly

[B]

because that's one thing here in Canada we have that kind of that in place for us as Canadians where we can draw on that. Right. There's still some challenges in that. We don't have enough doctors and we have a lot of waiting lines, but we don't have to have our credit card out to go see a doctor and get help. Right. And for people that don't have the finances or a credit card to even do that, we still have help. So I see it from a Canadian perspective that it has got so many benefits for everyone. And it, it was, it was disappointing to see it not work out the way it was intended to be. And people's thoughts and comments about, about that is. I don't know, sometimes you're just like. Until you've experienced it and lived it. It's been my whole life. I've had this right here in Canada. So I understand it from a different perspective than maybe some of the Americans that don't understand it. There's a lot of benefits to it and definitely for people who can't afford it. So I can tell it was something you're very passionate about, but that's where you were. You kind of. That happened to you. And then. Then life threw you a curveball. So can you kind of talk to us a little bit about what happened to you physically?

[A]

Yeah. So, like I said, I lost my job publicly in December of 2013, and in March of 2015, I had been losing my hearing. And a friend of mine said to me, you know, single sided deafness isn't normal. You should really get that checked out. You know, I'd been ignoring it for years. And I went in to get my hearing checked and essentially walked out, finding out that I had a brain tumor the size of a ping pong ball and needed surgery imminently. So from the time that I was diagnosed, the time that I was on the table was five weeks. And I mean, the good news is it was benign, inoperable, which are the best two words you can hear when somebody says brain tumor. But that's still a really big deal. My face was paralyzed for an entire year. For those of you who are not watching online, I still have residual impacts from that. I'm mostly blind in my left eye, I'm deaf in my left ear. I have severe balance issues. So it took me, you know, I had to learn to walk again. And so it took me about a year to get back to where I was, Right. So with surgery in May, I spent the summer learning to walk again, find myself again, and then went back to work because I had to prove to myself that I could do the job. I didn't wanna. This was never gonna take this away from me, right? And I had been a former CEO, I was just gonna be back on my track. And this is who I was. I'm gonna keep going, going, going until the day that I finally did it. I finally proved to myself that I could do the job again. And I just thought to myself, why am I doing this? All I want to do is put my daughter on the bus one more day. Because there was a chance during this whole process that I may never be able to put her on the bus again. So why was it that I was sitting here spending all of this time making sure I could get to an 8 o' clock meeting? Because I was a vice president in a hospital system when all I wanted to do and all I knew that mattered in life was spending time with her and my family. So it was a big, big shift.

[B]

Were you trying to prove yourself to yourself or to your work community? Like, who do you think you were trying to prove that you could do this?

[A]

I think all of the above. I think for sure it was definitely myself, because I Lost my identity. I lost my identity first when I lost my job publicly, and then I lost my identity again when I couldn't walk, when I couldn't. When I had spent my whole life not being vulnerable. Look at me, look at me, look at me. Growth, you know, and my daughter caught me walking down the stairs one day. I mean, talk about vulnerability. Having your 7 year old daughter walk you to the bathroom because you can't walk. I mean, there is like such a shift in there, but I had to just go back to what I knew. Like I knew this strong person in this, you know, I, for 43 years, I identified myself with my brain and my capacity. And so I had to prove to myself that I could do it. But at the same time, I certainly was seeking external validation, right. Like, oh, look at her, she's so great. She came back.

[B]

And that could be part of that hero's journey, is you want to get back to where you started from.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And but sometimes when you get to that finish line, you're looking at it going, was it worth it to get to this, back to my desk, back to my meetings, back to my normality?

[A]

Right.

[B]

And in that moment I can just feel you going, this wasn't what I expected it to be. That's. It's not a finish line. Like there's nobody here to celebrate with, right?

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

It's interesting. It's kind of like our body's like a shell and the real person's inside. The shell might break, the shell might crack, things might fall apart on the outside, but that person inside is still that same person that was trying to get health care for people who couldn't get it right. Leading teams, making big decisions, helping many people in the health, health community, and then to be the one needing the help from the health community, like what a reversal of roles.

[A]

Yes, it was quite. Yes, indeed.

[B]

Yeah. So that takes you through your said Your daughter was 7 years old around that point.

[A]

Yes. Right, yeah.

[B]

So as a parent then how do you, how do you parent when you're the one needing help yourself?

[A]

That was a very difficult time period and she very much decided that she was the parent at that time. And she took care of me and, you know, really stepped in. And right about the time that I started to get better and capable of doing things on my own, she actually went through some severe anxiety. She wouldn't let us leave the house. Like it really manifested itself in severe anxiety until we had a long conversation and I finally said, you know what, I'm the mommy. I got it. Like, thank you for taking care of me, but I got it. You don't need to take care of me anymore.

[B]

Approximately what age was she when you had that conversation?

[A]

So that was 2000, probably 2016. So she would have been nine.

[B]

Nine, okay. Talk about growing up fast, right? As a kid. Right. I think too, the other part for me as a parent is I would be. I'd be afraid that I was taking years away from just being a kid, you know, not having any responsibilities and just being like all the other kids. But now I need you to help me to survive and, you know, and I need your support. But. But the opposite then too is that she grows up with a caring spirit about her and understanding how important it is to care for others. It isn't. The whole world's not about you. Right. I need a new phone. I need this, I need that, I need this. You know, it's like I need to be with my mom and take care of my mom. I just think that's going to open so many doors for her in the future with that kind of. With that kind of history growing up, that she's going to have some capacity to want to help people in some way.

[A]

Yeah, for sure. I mean, you know, obviously my husband was there doing the majority of the work, but she was there thinking that she was very much a part of it and needed to help.

[B]

So talk about the book then. How does the book play into all of this conversation? Like, for the reader, I want them to kind of get a sense of what this book is about, who it's for, so we can also promote you to our friends and family. Tell them. And we want to make sure that we can get out there and promote the book to our friends and family. So talk a little bit more about the book.

[A]

Yeah. So the name of the book is called you don't have to Achieve to be Loved. And it is an anthem for people who have spent their entire life thinking that they, you know, they're super successful and they needed to be achieving. Right. This is not an uncommon theme that people believe that they need to achieve to be loved. Because at one point, you know, I just. Somebody brought dinner to my door and I was like, why would you do that? I've never done anything for you. And it was just this mind blowing experience that it's like, oh, people love you just because you are right. It has nothing to do with your title or your job or your income or anything else. People love that inside of you. Like you just said the outside may break, but people love the inside. They, they couldn't care less what your title is. And so it's the realizations that I went through to change my life from this, you know, incessant achievement focus to the place where I walk my dog for an hour a day, where I spend my life living my passion and monetizing my passion, helping other people significantly change their lives and figure out what you know. It's not interesting when you talked about that outside breaking. It's almost as if I had this image of light shining out through the breaking, right? Because that's when sometimes it's that outer breaking that needs to happen for people to recognize that there's so much more that they have to offer that they don't need to stay in that box. And so this book is actually a step by step process. What I realized in my. I'm now an executive coach. In my executive coaching, everybody goes through the same change process. And it is a difficult. Depending on how big that change is, it can be harder and more intense. But everybody goes through that same change process. And so what this book does is it walks you step by step through the change process and gives you journaling prompts to help you address each of those areas so that you can come out the other side.

[B]

Who do you have? It's a very personal story to write your story, but who would you say would be an ideal reader for your book?

[A]

You know, it's interesting. I will tell you this first. I will tell you that everybody that has read my book has said they've come out with at least one thing. There's not one person who has read this book who hasn't come out with one thing, even when they don't think it's for them. So it's full of tidbits of information that everybody's going to take away. But I will tell you this. It is absolutely made for the person who is looking around their life right now and saying, I'm not sure this is where I'm supposed to be. Something's not quite right. That's what we call unfortunate awareness where you're beginning to realize that either you're unhappy in your job or what you thought looked good from the outside doesn't feel good from the inside. There you're in this space of like, oh God, something's not quite right. But either I'm embarrassed to say it or I'm not sure what it is that's absolutely super successful but not sure what's wrong. This book is absolutely for you okay.

[B]

All right. How does the book feature into your coaching as well? Does this open the door for your coaching by having the book?

[A]

It does. It does for sure open the door for my coaching. I work with really successful people who are ready to make a significant change in their life, and this book becomes the entree point for a lot of people to say, okay, I hear what you're saying. I believe in you, and I'm ready to put myself in your hands to help me make that change.

[B]

So what are some of the keys elements to dealing with change that the book might help us to understand? Any kind of things you can share from the book?

[A]

Yeah, for sure. The thing that I find most interesting is that in phase three, which is called One Foot In, One Foot out, the most challenging questions are, what's my family going to say? Who are my friends going to be? This is where the social and emotional ties come into the process, where you start to question like, oh, who am I going to be on the other side? And who are my friends going to be on the other side? Right. Then that's when you know that you really are starting to build into that process and go, oh, okay, I'm ready to make that step. And so the journaling prompts in this area really talk about, like, who are the most important people in your lives? Because the truth is, there are certain people who are going to stay with you regardless of what your job is, what your title is, anything like that. Those are the people that matter, right? The people who are standing beside you because you make a certain amount of money or because you hang out at this place or because this. But all of that is external. Those are the people that you need to begin to let go of. But that's a very difficult process to go through. So we work through that process in the book.

[B]

One of the things I do, I help people with podcasts and creating a podcast, and one of the things we work through together is around the idea that your friends and family might not understand this new chapter in your life, this new endeavor. You're starting a show, you're writing a book, you're doing something, and in that, they. They don't understand you fully. And they don't. It feels like you're not being supported, and it's not because you're different. It's just because you're first. Like, you're the first one in the group to do something that stands out amongst everyone else who is not even considering something new. They're just happy where they are. They're Just, I'm happy with my job, my office, and my meetings, and I'm good. And then here's this person saying, it's not enough. I want to do this now. And they're like. And in that moment, there's a little bit of pushback because they're like, now you're making them second.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Their second thoughts come up, like, why am I not thinking this?

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Why are you excelling and why am I now? Am I stuck?

[A]

Right. And you're exactly right.

[B]

Right. And in that moment, it's just like. Just realize that you're not different. You're just. You're just first. So, you know, that'd be something to consider as well.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We're all in this. We're all trying to find our own identity. I think in all of us, it all comes down to who we see in the mirror and who we want to be.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And I. I just think when something significant happens, health wise, career wise, like you said, you just. You have. You lose your identity. You lose. And sometimes in. In spectacular public fashion, you lose your identity in front of an audience, and it's really hard to rebound from that. So for somebody. Let's talk about that for. For a moment. For someone who deals with a public. Almost betrayal, I guess, public humiliation, you feel in a sense of losing something you're passionate about in front of an audience. How do you rebound from that? Like, how do you bounce back from that? Somebody's gonna feel that at work someday. Handed the box full of the contents from their desk and be escorted by security to your car. Exactly. Like, how do you. How's this book going to help us with that?

[A]

For sure. You know, it's interesting. I actually wrote a blog called how to recover from an ego blow on morebeccapierce.com by the way, it's my website, if you're looking for it. Morebeccapierce.com Nice. Well done. M O R E B E C C A P E A R C e dot com. That's a good question, because Pierce is very difficult.

[B]

Yeah. Good.

[A]

But I will tell you this, that it is one of the most downloaded blogs I've ever written. Because this can show up in any way. It can be. I didn't get the sale that I thought I was going to get. I just lost my. It doesn't need to be some major thing. Your ego is tied to so much that you do. And there's a five step process. And the first one is breathe. Right. Just step away Turn the amygdala off, figure out exactly like, just breathe. You're still alive. You're still here. The world is not going to end. Right. And some of the other steps are recognizing those people who are around you, who love you. You just. Because.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

Looking around and. And then recognizing the good in the world. Like, maybe there's flowers coming up and you didn't notice it because you were too busy before.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

Just noticing the things around you, just slowing down, recognizing who loves you. And there is a piece of actually getting angry and getting that anger out, because if you don't get the anger out, it's just going to eat you from the inside. Right. So, yeah, I'll scream in the shower. Do whatever you need, as long as it's not back at the person. Right. Just do it for yourself and get it out. And then look at yourself. What could you have done differently? I think that's a really, really important piece and a really important piece that this book goes through as well. Challenging yourself on your own thinking, what could you have done differently? What are the core beliefs that you had that led you to this point? Because we all like to think that it's somebody else's fault, but it's usually not a. It's never 100% somebody else's fault.

[B]

No.

[A]

Right. So this book challenges you to look at yourself differently and reevaluate what's important to you. And I think that is part of the process of coming back and recognizing who you can become. Because underneath, it all seems like a cliche, but it really is an opportunity.

[B]

Somebody taught me, when I was young, a wise man. He said to me, if somebody has a problem with you, you are part of the problem. And I'm like. He's like, I'm like. I said, that doesn't seem fair. He said, it could just be that you're in the room. It could be that you're on the highway driving in that lane, and you don't know that person from anyone, but you're not driving fast enough, or you're in their way, or you're keeping them. You're. You're keeping them from where they want to be. You could be standing in line at this grocery store and your order's bigger than they wanted it to be, and you're just like, oh, they get angry. Right. They don't know you, but if somebody has a problem with you, you are to some degree, part of the problem. So keep that in mind that. That there is some kind of accountability to whatever Right. So if you do lose your job, for example, and it's happened to me in the past, I can go back in time and go, okay, well, maybe there's other ways I could have handled that that didn't lead to that result, but it led to that result, and I found that the. The foundation to move forward from that and use it as a learning experience.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And grow from. So there's. There's elements to our story that we have control over, and there's some we don't.

[A]

Right, right, right.

[B]

Yeah. And I think that's. That's. That's one of the things that I'm looking forward to from your book is just the idea that. That there's. There's these pathways for us to navigate times when we thought we had it all, and then it was all taken away from us.

[A]

Right, right, right.

[B]

So what else beyond what we've talked about from the book, you think is key for a reader to really plug into and spend some time on in your book that just. It's like, core to what you believe?

[A]

Our core values. This is going to be a very coachy response, because coaches love core values. Okay, good. But they very much drive everything we do. And if you're frustrated with somebody, there's a good chance that your core values are getting trumped on. And so understanding and living your core values. And like, I have mine written up next to me so I can be like, okay, every day. Am I living within my core values? Because they drive every single decision we make. And if you understand them and you know them, you can. You. You just make better decisions. And so there's. There's a whole chapter in there about core values and the fact that they can change and that it's okay for them to change. And so recognizing what they are right now helps you identify what your future definition of success is and where you want to go.

[B]

Okay, so if we can go from a concept to reality, then what is maybe one of your core values as an example?

[A]

One of my core values is kind directness.

[B]

Oh, that's an interesting combination.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I think it's. As a coach, we get paid to tell people things that nobody else is going to tell them.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And. And I do it walking directly by your side, holding your hand while I'm telling you something that you don't want to hear.

[B]

Wow. Okay, so not being indirect and not hedging things in flowery language where nobody feels challenged, then.

[A]

Right, right. And also recognizing where it's coming from, I think that's the important piece too. You know, I spend a lot of time understanding why you're doing what you're doing and where it's coming from. And so I can couch it in. I understand where this is coming from, but you need to understand that this is the impact it's having on me in this conversation right now or the impact that I see it having on other people.

[B]

For you, as an author, you have this book in the world, which is amazing. My show is Living the Next Chapter, so it's kind of built into the name of the show. But for you now, as you work into coaching and helping people, you're back to helping people, which is fabulous. Yes. And you have some more control over the program. You're not doing it for someone else. You're doing it for yourself. That's good. So you can't fire yourself. What's kind of in your plans for living your next chapter beyond today? Where are you kind of headed as an author, as a writer, as a coach? Can you have what's kind of your big plan here?

[A]

Yeah, so it's actually to really lean into writing. For the last couple of years, I've had other people doing my social media writing on my behalf, and I really have just decided in the last two months that I want to lean way more into this writing. Like, I want to put myself out there in a different way. This isn't just, oh, I'm just marketing. I'm just putting on social media. No, these are the thoughts that I have every day. Right. Because I now believe that I have something to say, that people want to hear what I have to say. So it's really, really stepping into that in a totally different way. Whereas before, it was just sort of this. I do corporate coaching, and this is what I do. Well, no, I want to show up as me out there, which is very

[B]

different, and I put this out there. I don't know how you. How you feel about this, but I know that for. For me and podcasting, that having the sound of someone's voice in my ears and hearing. Hearing the emotion behind the words has, for me personally, a different result than reading all the time. So I just know that the one thing beautiful about podcasting is people can listen to a voice and nobody knows what you're listening to to. So there could be people listening to this, and no one in the room knows that they're listening to us right now. They could be listening to music. They'd be listening to an audiobook, but they're listening to you. And I just. There's something special about your message in this world and who you are, that if you ever get to that point where you're like, I have a free moment. I just think a voice version of what you do, maybe through podcasting or something similar, would just also then put you in front of a new audience. Because I can't read while I'm driving or while I'm walking the dog, but I can listen to you.

[A]

Right?

[B]

There's something special about your voice and your message and who you are that it just comes across as you speak. So I'm just putting that out there as just a. I don't know, plant some seeds. I don't know. But I'm. I'm very pro podcast. If it doesn't come through the mic, there's something special about what you do and who you serve. So. So I'll just put that out there and we'll see if it lands. If it doesn't, great. But just.

[A]

Yes, yes. I will tell you that I am doing an audio version of the book in the near future and I haven't said no to a podcast. I think from my perspective, it's out there. It's a potential.

[B]

All right, we'll keep our eyes and ears both open.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Ready for that. That's good. I love it. Okay, Becca, can you tell us about your website a little bit more before we head out the door? I want to make sure people come find you and connect with you. I do have a wrap up question at the end here, but take us through your website and where we can buy a copy of the book for us and for our friends.

[A]

Sure. So the name of the book again is you don't have to achieve to be loved. The subtitle is escape the lies you've been sold to design the life you want. It's available on Amazon. It's available any place. You can buy a book through IngramSpark. So you can go to Barnes and Noble, you can go to Target, you can go any place and actually buy it there as well. We are having a. If you're in the US and you're buying on Amazon, we will have a. A Black Friday sale. Because a lot of people have been saying to us, how do I. How do I get this in other people's hands? Because I've read it and I know so many people that need it. And so it's a perfect Christmas gift to give away to people. And so very excited about the deal that we're doing there. We're lowering the Price on the hard hardback cover because we think it'll make a nice gift is www.morebeccapierce.com and again, Becca is B, E, C, C A and Pierce is P E, A, R, C E. Not the pie, the pea version.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

I will tell you that Becca Pierce and Rebecca Pierce websites are already taken. So if you find and they're both coaches, that is not me, it's themorebeccapierce.com and you can find me on LinkedIn on under Rebecca Pierce as well.

[B]

Talk a little bit about your coaching before we go too. Who are you? Who are you looking to work with? Who's your ideal client that you feel you can serve the best? Because they're listening and they're like, I need, I need a little bit more Becca Pierce. Right there it is right there in the name. So how. Who is you? Who is your ideal person that you would love to work with?

[A]

If you are listening to this and you are in that space where you know that something's off but you're not exactly sure what it is and you need somebody to help you figure out what that is and identify the voice inside of you of where you want to go next. Because many people know what's wrong but they don't know where they want to go next. And so if you're also in that space where you're like, I just can't figure out, like, I feel like I'm stuck because I don't know where to go. I am absolutely the person who's going to help you identify exactly what it is that to put a name on what's wrong, identify what you want in the future and create a plan to get you there. I am not the coach that's going to sit there and be like, oh, you can achieve anything in the world and leave. I'm the coach that's going to help you identify exactly what it is. And then we are going to get down in the nitty gritty and we're going to talk about finances and we're going to talk about and we're going to create a plan to get you from where you are now to where you want to go. So if you're ready to make that change, call me.

[B]

That's how you get more Becca Pierce just like that. It's, that's that shell cracking and the light escaping and, and now you can even impact even more people than you could ever exactly in your, in the past things that you were doing. So, Becca, thank you so much for doing this. And thank you for sharing your story and thank you that you continue to still help people. Whatever you land. You seem that to be your main focus, so.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Excellent. Thank you so much. Excellent, everyone. All the information. Yes, all information, as always, in the show notes. Everyone would love for you to go support Becca. Grab a copy of your book. Black Friday is coming up. You need to buy one for someone else as well and share this podcast with others so that more people can find Becca and find her great resources and great support. Becca. Thin. Thank you so much. I hope you can keep writing and I hope we can have more conversations in the future.

[A]

Awesome. Thank you.

[B]

Hey, thank you so much again for pressing play. As you've heard, great guests on the show and one thing you didn't hear in this conversation is what? What did you not hear? Think about it for a second. That's right. Not a single solitary commercial for a mattress or a supplement or whatever you call it. No. Why? Because we don't want to break up the conversation with commercials. So the fact that you're still here means that you are a fan of the show, I'm assuming. So if you want to help to keep the podcast going and to make me feel really happy, all I really care about is coffee. Okay. I just got to be honest. I love coffee. I'm drinking one right now. Starting to get cold. I need. I need to warm it up. Helping us with our Buy me a coffee link [e-mail] and also in the show notes, helps kind of keep the lights on around here. Remember, I'm doing this for free. I. I'm paying for everything, so I would love to have a little coffee donation. You know, even five bucks kind of fills up my cup. And I would love to enjoy a coffee from you. So if you're interested, again, thank you for listening, but you can use our buy me a coffee link and fill up the cup. Thanks for being here.