Author of “The Unspoken Word” on Breaking Silence and Empowering Victims

Summary

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Living The Red Life – Author of “The Unspoken Word” on Breaking Silence and Empowering Victims

Guest: Aliana Garfinkel
Host: Reagan Gutierrez (Red Life – Women in Power Edition, sitting in for Rudy Mawer)
Episode Date: March 30, 2026

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Episode Overview

This gripping episode centers around Aliana Garfinkel, author of The Unspoken Word, as she shares her powerful journey from 9/11 survivor and advocate to whistleblower and champion for silenced victims of domestic violence. The discussion dives into the importance of finding and using one's voice, practical tools for empowerment, the challenge of systemic silencing, and the need for preventative action for at-risk individuals. Aliana explains her unique perspective as both a survivor and advocate, highlighting her mission to provide resources—like her acclaimed “toolbox”—and expand outreach through various channels to create real change.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Surviving 9/11 and the Sense of Divine Intervention

• [01:53 – 03:37]
  • Aliana recounts her harrowing near-miss experience on September 11, 2001. She was scheduled for an NYU doctoral meeting at 9am near the World Trade Center but missed her regular train due to tending to her baby in the NICU.
  • “By the time I was getting on the next train, as a courtesy, I called NYU and I had learned about the absolute unthinkable tragedy that had just occurred. I was scheduled for 9am on 9/11.” (A, 02:41)
• The experience left her with lasting grief and gratitude, fueling her desire to help others.
  • “This day has a tremendous amount of meaning for me.” (A, 05:14)

2. The Mission Behind “The Unspoken Word”

• [05:37 – 08:26]
  • Aliana reveals how the book was born from repeated silencing as a whistleblower and advocate for victims.
  • She notes the parallel between systematic silencing in abuse cases and her personal experience:
    • “Silence the victim, keep them quiet, don't report, don't talk, don't tell … that is the polar opposite of what is supposed to happen.” (A, 05:55)
  • Emphasizes everyone’s constitutional and spiritual right to be heard.

3. Bribery Lane and Finding Alternative Pathways

• [07:07 – 08:26]
  • “Bribery Lane” refers to alternative avenues victims might take when the system or initial routes are closed.
  • Aliana created a condensed “toolbox” (on USB) with every state’s resources, emergency contacts, and practical help for victims lacking internet or support.
  • “Being silenced is a non-negotiable topic.” (A, 08:22)

4. Manipulation in the Justice System

• [08:26 – 11:16]
  • Frequently, those with resources manipulate outcomes:
    • “The person who may have power, money, resources, connections can fuel the expenses … may win not because of justice, but because of resources.” (A, 10:00)
  • Referencing the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial, Aliana draws parallels to public distractions from the real issues of coercion and the impact of unequal resources.

5. Systemic Gaps and Need for Prevention

• [11:16 – 13:57]
  • Police and courts often lack warmth and information for victims, contributing to feelings of powerlessness.
  • “If the judge has powerful, educated—in sense of their rights—not education in terms of doctoral studies, but just your own rights … it may help the court, help the client or litigant.” (A, 11:50)
  • Focus must shift from reactive (“GoFundMe after tragedy”) to proactive prevention—getting resources out before it’s too late.

6. Root Causes & Early Interventions

• [13:57 – 15:56]
  • Aliana stresses the importance of awareness, advocacy, and personalization in preventative strategies.
  • Victims—and anyone in difficult systems—should know their rights and be empowered to ask questions, not just comply.
  • “Everybody's different. Everyone has their own needs. And that has to come out loud and clear and very strong in this.” (A, 15:30)

7. Resource Awareness – “211” and More

• [15:56 – 16:04]
  • Aliana highlights that many people don’t know about crucial resources like the 211 program—hotlines and services for those in need.

8. Working with Preview Models & Expanding Outreach

• [16:26 – 19:34]
  • Aliana shares her recent collaboration with Preview Models to promote inclusion and empowerment in the modeling industry.
  • She is maximizing podcasts, blogs, social media, and partnering on initiatives focusing on health, wellness, and empowerment.
  • “It really does say it’s never too late for dreams to come true and opportunities to be presented.” (A, 18:26)

9. The Toolbox: Practical, Tangible Help

• [19:34 – 19:46]
  • The “toolbox” is a USB drive packed with resources, laws, and guides—small, practical, and ready in emergencies:
    • “And it’s simple, it’s small. It just gets them. Nice and basic. And gives everyone what they need.” (A, 19:46)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the importance of voice and being heard:

  • “We all have the right constitutionally, but as well as spiritually, to speak, to be heard, to be understood, to be respected.” – Aliana (A, 06:19)

• On resilience and hope:

  • “If one door closes, really, there is something about that old saying, there is another opportunity. And go with your gut. Your gut is never wrong. Your instincts always will lead you. And trust them. And trust yourself. Trust yourself.” – Aliana (A, 20:06)

• On prevention vs. reaction:

  • “We should have done a prevention. And that’s really what I’m trying to bring forward … Prevention of Domestic Violence Act. Let’s prevent it.” – Aliana (A, 13:48)

• On empowerment:

  • “Just because the first door was closed, it doesn’t mean the second door was. There’s emails, different pathways, texts, video, audio, and there’s always someone that wants to listen.” – Aliana (A, 07:27)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:00 – Opening, the origins of “The Unspoken Word”
• 01:53 – Aliana’s 9/11 survival story
• 05:37 – Motivation behind the book and parallel to domestic violence victims
• 08:26 – Common thread of clients needing help against manipulative forces
• 09:59 – The Depp/Heard trial as a public example of system abuse
• 11:16 – The importance of resources in police stations and courts
• 13:48 – The case for prevention, not reaction
• 15:56 – Public awareness of support resources like 211
• 16:26 – Partnership with Preview Models and using media for change
• 19:34 – The Toolbox explained
• 20:06 – Aliana’s closing inspirational wisdom

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How to Connect or Learn More

• Website: theunspokenword.co
• Instagram: @Aliana
• Book & toolbox: Soon available on Amazon
• Partnerships: Preview Models, upcoming events, podcasts, and community outreach

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Closing Thoughts

Aliana’s story is one of survival, hope, and relentless advocacy. She argues powerfully that silencing and ignorance perpetuate cycles of abuse and disempowerment—but there are always new doors to open, especially when guided by one’s instincts and supported with the right resources. Her mission: equip and empower every victim and at-risk individual so the “unspoken words” are finally heard.

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Transcript

[A]

So the unspoken word is about all the words I wanted to say but I couldn't speak. All the times that I was cut out of court hearings, shut out of meetings, taken down, shut down, silenced. With my work in the past, working with victims of domestic violence, there's a great parallel. Silence the victim, keep them quiet, don't report, don't talk, don't tell. And that's a problem. That is the polar opposite of what is supposed to happen. We all have the right constitutionally, but as well as spiritually, to speak, to be heard, to be understood, to be respected. And silencing someone is.

[B]

My name's Rudy Moore, host of Living the Red Life Podcast, and I'm here to change the way you see your life in your earpiece every single week. If you're ready to start living the red life, ditch the blue pill, take the red pill, join me in wonderland and change your life.

[C]

Welcome to another episode of the Living youg Legacy podcast, the Women in Power edition, with a smidge of the hashtag RedLife in there for inside success, I am Ray Gutierrez. Joining me today is Aliana Garfinkel. She is the author of the Unspoken Word. Aliana, welcome. How are you?

[A]

I'm well. Hello.

[C]

Relax and chill.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

You are home. You quite literally just finished filming your episode for Women in Power.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

I have to ask, do you feel extra powerful today?

[A]

I do. It was amazing.

[C]

What are we gonna learn about you today?

[A]

Well, we're gonna learn about the motivation behind why Woman in Power and the unspoken word joined forces.

[C]

Yeah, I love it.

[A]

Joined forces. Yes. And the foundation and the motivation behind the unspoken word. And Bribery Lane.

[C]

Bribery Lane. I gotta. I gotta say, if you're looking at the slate, today's 9, 11, 24 years, I believe we've got quite a dramatic story I'd like to open up, if you don't mind sharing of your 911 survival story.

[A]

I am. So on 9 11, exactly this day, I was scheduled to be at New York University for a very important meeting for a Juris Doctorate PhD program. I was a student there already in Master's in social work, but I wanted to integrate law and forensic studies. And I had a baby in nicu Neonatal Intensive care. He had been in and out of the hospital the evening before. He kept me up the entire night, so I was running a bit late. I actually missed the same train I always took every single time just because I was attending to the baby. And by the time I was getting on the next train, as a courtesy, I called NYU and I had learned about the absolute unthinkable tragedy that had just occurred. I was scheduled for 9am on 9 11.

[C]

Wow. Where were you supposed to be at 9am exactly?

[A]

I was supposed to go right past the International Trade zone area and I was supposed to be attending a meeting at New York University.

[C]

Just a normal day. And some divine energy saved you and protected you.

[A]

It did. It did.

[C]

How do you carry that with you every day now?

[A]

It's very traumatic to first and foremost be thankful but I read and I'm part of the 911 memorial. I'm linked into all of their birthday celebrations. They do a birthday celebration for every person that was in the towers on that day. And I read, I grieve, I have a lot of emotions given the fact that that was my chosen path and I was always there. So this is unbelievable that I missed that train that day.

[C]

I gotta say you were literally quite at the front line. I don't wanna make this a September 11th podcast. We're definitely gonna dive into your episode and I wanna learn more about you. But I'm kind of curious your take, being in the zone, do you feel a shift of energy frequency the day before and the day after 911 that has consensually changed our path on what we do day to day. And it's just gotten darker and darker. Even with news of yesterday, definitely the

[A]

day of and the day after there was a tremendous shift. The whole area you could see smoke, you could hear clanking noises.

[C]

Sure. I guess to be more frequency wise what was happening as a whole around the world when there was a a giant moment of pain it was just a frequency was released. What do you think has happened then and what are we feeling today because of that?

[A]

I believe that what happened then was so impactful. The loss of so many tragic lives and all the people who tried to save and help and go into the building and a lot of people who were just there visiting from other areas on business meetings. The shift was a sense of being united in what I've seen from being in the area. It's definitely very impactful for those who live and work there culturally. I think it was very symbolic. Right. 911 playing 911 I mean it couldn't even be more troubling just all of those numbers. So one of the reasons I wanted to come today was because this day has a tremendous amount of meaning for me.

[C]

Absolutely. Well welcome.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Your energy is absolutely needed and it's definitely a guidance especially on today, especially in the last 48 hours. Really 24 years is a long time. What's happened in the last 24 years? And what is your North Star today? What is your project today?

[A]

So the past 24 years have been years of turbulence and sidestepping, more than one near death experience. We reviewed them in detail during my episode and I've taken away from it. With every traumatic event, there are seeds of change, seeds of growth, opportunity for a new and impactful opportunity to persevere, to survive. It's been hard. It's been many years filled with diversity. The unspoken word came out of being a whistleblower and being silenced. So the unspoken word is about all the words I wanted to say, but I couldn't speak. All the times that I was cut out of court hearings, shut out of meetings, cut out of emails, taken down, shut down, silenced, couldn't appear at things I was supposed to. And then with my work in the past, working with victims of domestic violence, there's a great parallel and it's, it's a pretty consistent course of conduct, like silence the victim, keep them quiet, don't report, don't talk, don't tell. I've also worked with children for many, many years and that's a big area. They try to keep the kids scared, quiet, silenced, don't talk, don't tell anyone. And that's a problem. That is the polar opposite of what is supposed to happen. We all have the right constitutionally, but as well as spiritually, to speak, to be heard, to be understood, to be respected. And silencing someone is not in their best interest and allows some of the underhanded, nefarious events to go forward. And that's really more what bribery Lane is about. So the unspoken word is about empowerment, finding a voice, finding a power, finding a pathway, finding an opportunity to be heard, be respected, and find an alternate route if one needs to. Just because the first door was closed, it doesn't mean the second door was. There's emails, different pathways, texts, video, audio, and there's always someone that wants to listen. And I try to tell those that are being depowered that we can be empowered by using different areas. So I created a toolbox that is condensed into a USB so it's convenient, but it has every single statewide resource, every state domestic violence law, areas for housing, for victimization, how to be heard. What if you don't have access to an Internet? What's the alternative route? Just to give people hope and give people an opportunity that there are programs and resources out there that are intended to help. And being silenced is a Non negotiable topic.

[C]

Absolutely. What is the common thread you find with folks discover you and come to you to guidance? What is the common client?

[A]

That on one side of their case there's a very highly manipulative resource or person or party that's manipulating the truth, the facts, the evidence to tamper in some way or another from small to big. And you know, it's not okay. Everyone deserves. Our constitution says everyone has the right to be heard and freedom of speech and due process and what I've seen in my 20 plus years working in the judicial system is there's a propensity to, you know, alter sometimes not serve, sometimes obstruct. And that's not justice. That's not how it's supposed to be.

[C]

I apologize if I sound like a TMZ headline, but I'm starting to find a relevance to if someone that's familiar with. With something that's. That's very dark and deep. And deep. But something that shined light on the subject was the Amber Heard and what's his face. The Pirates of the Caribbean actor. What's his name?

[A]

Johnny Depp.

[C]

Johnny Depp. That was the most public display of domestic abuse in court. What was really going on there? You think for someone that has experienced the antagonist to your protagonist timeline, what do you think was really happening there? Like the sense of manipulation. Clearly one side was financially fit. I'm not siding with anyone, but I just want to bring this up as a topic. What do you think what was really happening there?

[A]

It is what I see and have seen repeatedly for 20 plus years, that the person who may have power, money, resources, connections can fuel the expenses. Four or five hundred dollars an hour may win not because of justice, but because of resources.

[C]

And how cute the defendant was looking at someone or gays. And it just became pop culture. We lost sight of what was really happening in that courtroom.

[A]

It's frequently lost.

[C]

It happens all the time.

[A]

All the time.

[C]

Jesus.

[A]

I've seen it all the time. And it's happened with me as a victim, but also as a advocate.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So I'm somewhat unique. Not most people have been victims and advocates at the same time. Some have, but not all. And the implications of my story and my life path has been near death on multiple occasions. Near death. So my takeaway is that with the Johnny Depp story, the resources available to one side tampered with, modified and altered the outcome through artificial means. And that's a lot about what happened with my book and my story. And I don't want Victims who don't have the resources to be discriminated against

[C]

or felt powerless because the resources are there.

[A]

Right?

[C]

Yeah. They just need to understand that they can do it.

[A]

They can.

[C]

And they're reaching out to folks like you.

[A]

And also I would like to put this in every single police department and every single court. Why? Because there's nothing really warm and friendly in the police departments. It's just the nature of the police department. Right. The lobbies don't have cushy seats, they don't have refreshments for the children and the parents.

[C]

Oh, no, it's by design.

[A]

Right. They don't have books, they don't have resources. You may get a pamphlet and often, oh, there's none left. Sorry, but that's not going to help in the here and now, in the moment of crisis and emergency. So it also, I believe would help the jud. If the judge has powerful, educated in sense of their rights, not education in terms of doctoral studies, but just your own rights, what you're entitled to. It may help the court, help the client or the litigant because they know what they're asking for. A lot of this is lack of information, lack of knowledge. They don't understand that they don't have to say no or have to say yes.

[C]

And I apologize for playing devil's advocate here, but don't you think judges are kind of just burnt out? When's the violence gonna stop? When is domestic abuse gonna stop? It's just no matter how many times they sit up there hitting the gavel, it's just rinse, repeat. It's problems to both sides, correct?

[A]

I think there is. But I think if it went in on a lower level and there was knowledge and power and information even at the onset for the victims, it might not get to the court. It might not get to that point of powerlessness because the victim might understand what their rights are, what they need, and a more equal and level playing field for the victim and the judge in the basic simple request of what they're asking for. Sometimes the gap is significant because the victim hasn't had any information at that front line level. And it's very scary system for people. A lot of people end up losing their lives and then the whole community comes forward, it's too late. We could have prevented this. So that's my mission, prevention. But my mission is prevention. So it doesn't get to the point of, okay, now someone's lost their life, let's do a memory on them. No, we could have prevented this. We don't need to do a GoFundMe now, although it may be helpful. We should have done a prevention. And that's really what I'm trying to bring forward to bring this to all courts, all judges, all law enforcement, domestic violence units that can help. So we prevent it. And that's what it's called. Prevention of Domestic Violence Act. Let's prevent it.

[C]

Absolutely. Let's talk about the psychological levels of why this happens. Is it really a male with daddy issues or. I'm sorry, with mommy issues. Like what is the standard sop? Of course he's gonna be red flag because he kind of checks off the Johnny Depp profile or he was raised a certain way. Like what is the. I guess what can folks start doing to prevent dating a narcissist or being in a situation where they feel trapped? What are some easy preventable measures?

[A]

I think easy preventable methods, based on my knowledge and experience over the years, is awareness. I think it all starts with awareness. And part of my book and my toolbox is to provide basic, simple, fundamental bullet point facts, cues, you know, even going with that instinct.

[C]

Sure, sure.

[A]

That visceral response. So the awareness is definitely critical and the empowerment it's. Knowing it is one thing, but then advocating for it is another. So a lot of people want to, but they might not know the path to advocate for it and having that ability as a victim to. Or just a non victim yet they haven't yet been victimized. Just as a person who's going through the legal system or a person who's going through a hard time in the medical community.

[C]

Oh boy.

[A]

Has to know that this is available to them and that they don't have to say yes, that they can ask a question. The doctor might be a medical doctor, but he might not know everything about you. So I mean, it's just about individualization and customization and personalization for each and every person. And that's really what the book and the toolbox is about, customization for each person. No two people are the same. We can't rubber stamp it. Everybody's different. Everyone has their own needs. And that has to come out loud and clear and very strong in this. And just each state has tremendous resources, but sometimes people don't know they exist, may not know how to reach them. There's an email address, there's a texting, there's a 211 program. People don't know about that. And that might help.

[C]

I wasn't familiar with the 211. I heard of 311 but not 211. Yes.

[A]

It's a free program in each state that offers support services.

[C]

Right on. Let's talk about how you are evangelizing folks in your tribe. You and I share a similar. A common cause. Josh Weinstein. I've worked with him before. He's this founder of PreviewModels. How are you working together with Josh and PreviewModels? Are you essentially coaching his models?

[A]

So I'm proud and honored to say that In May of 2025, Previewmodels had advocated for some models with different shapes and sizes.

[C]

Absolutely.

[A]

And. And I got the invitation. I auditioned, and I was selected. Oh, right on.

[C]

Yes. Very cool. Oh, hell yeah.

[A]

Very excited. It's a great privilege and honor to be part of three View models. They signed, and I'll be going to their event in Los Angeles, in Hollywood.

[C]

I'm very familiar.

[A]

Yes. I'm very excited. He's wonderful, and he's a tremendous advocate for his program and for teaching us and educating us on, you know, modeling industry.

[C]

Absolutely. I always. I always. When I coach, I always try to talk about stagecraft and being present, almost like you're in a play in a theater. Like always presenting yourself when you're speaking or even carrying yourself in a. In a way where you're producing an alter ego when you're on brand or et cetera, et cetera. That's. Congratulations on that.

[A]

It really was a tremendous accomplishment.

[C]

I'm eager to see how your story merges with his and what blossoms from that.

[A]

I know.

[C]

What other ways are you reaching out to folks? You mentioned all these avenues, but are you using social media? Are you telling your story via podcast? How many podcasts are you doing? What are you doing to really rile up the cages and get folks informed about this?

[A]

Yeah. So that is my mission. I'm here and really thrilled and honored to be part of this. I'm going to be integrating podcasts. Part of the preview models is definitely making connections.

[C]

Josh has got his own podcast.

[A]

Yeah. So I'm very excited to expand it and focus on health and wellness, mental fitness, physical fitness. It's never too late. And that's somewhat. With the preview models, like, at this point in life to have this opportunity. It really does say it's never too late for dreams to come true and opportunities to be presented. So my intent is to expand my social media network and audience, create additional websites, speak as much as possible.

[C]

Lots of blogs, SEOs, content, content, data. Data. You really want to fill the pipes, the Internet pipes, as they say, with all about you and the algorithms will do their work.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

How can folks find out more about you, learn about you? Here's where you'll plug your book, your dot com. Let's hear it.

[A]

Yeah. So our website is the unspokenword. Co. It's an active website. There's a way to communicate with us through there. Great, great, great. Also, my Instagram is Aliana, so that is another alternative. Through preview models and also through upcoming events, my book will be published on Amazon. So will the Toolbox. So that will be available through Amazon and the Toolbox. And I'm looking at some other venues right now, so hopefully, hopefully within the next couple weeks, I'll have some additional options and abilities too.

[C]

Good for you for calling it a toolbox. It's just straight to the point. You understand what it is. Good user verbiage there. Toolbox. Everything you need, it's here. And it's a USB drive that you can actually.

[A]

That's it.

[C]

Hand it to someone.

[A]

And it's simple, it's small. It just gets them. Yeah. Nice and basic. And gives everyone what they need.

[C]

Right on. Well, congratulations today on an amazing afternoon. Yeah, I guess. Would you like to close us out with an inspirational quote or anything that keeps you going every single day?

[A]

What keeps me going every single day is that there is always an opportunity and there's always someone there that can listen. Will listen. Don't give up. Keep moving. Keep going. Keep pushing. If one door closes, really, there is something about that old saying, there is another opportunity. And go with your gut. Your gut is never wrong. Your instincts always will lead you. And trust them. And trust yourself. Trust yourself.

[C]

When the unspoken truth isn't being spoken, the soul will reveal everything. So I'm glad we are doing this and we're putting a spotlight on you.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

With that, that concludes another episode of the Living youg Legacy podcast, the Red Life Woman in Power edition. For Inside Success, I'm Reagan Tierras.