B (2:32)

Ironically, this will probably be part of the highlight reel for your social. For your social media. Where are you in your highlight reel? Are you in the beginning, at the end, or Somewhere in the middle, I

A (2:42)

would say for me, I met the beginning of Act 2, if you will.

B (2:47)

Act 2.

A (2:48)

Yeah. So, you know, I'm nowhere near doing anything. Yeah, life just kind of happened, you know, Got a divorce, lost my baby. My mother almost died. And so I thought that that was it for me. And I was just ready to check out and sit down, you know, I told God, I ain't got nothing to say to nobody. I'm done. Move on next. And so now here I am. And so I would say this is my act too. It's the same me, but just a different iteration, if you will.

B (3:22)

This different iteration. How many nights of soul searching or how many mornings of affirmations talk about your process, your rituals, and how did you climb out of the darkness?

A (3:32)

It has been a lot of nights of torment, gut wrenching, like waking up in the middle of the night where literally my body feeling in pain.

B (3:47)

Oh, yeah.

A (3:48)

Crying, weeping, wailing. A lot of sleepless nights, feeling like my tear ducts were going to burst. A lot of talking, crying out to God, being angry. I never knew I had panic attacks some days just feeling like it was gonna be okay. Then the wind would blow and then, you know, it would just. So it's been a process, literally, of me learning how to stand again, learning how to crawl, and learning how to stand again. So my process has been a lot of meditation, a lot of listening. I like to talk, but I have learned how to listen and lean into the stillness very, very differently. And how to trust the not knowing.

B (4:38)

I was just gonna say the leaning into the stillness is definitely the first. First jump. Even. Even Neil himself didn't make the first jump.

A (4:45)

Yes.

B (4:45)

Talk about hearing all that noise and all that pain and then you wake up and the room is quiet. But all that chaos is in here and here.

A (4:53)

Yes.

B (4:54)

Talk about it.

A (4:55)

Yes. And for me, as a psychologist, I. Helping people still, that noise here and here for at least the last 25 years, that was very, very different for me, to be on the receiving end of that. And so that's also been part of my process, being in a position where I was not able to give to myself what I so freely and effortlessly gave to other people. But leaning into the chaos, if you will, because no matter how much I tried to control it, it just got louder and bumpier. Oh, yeah. And so eventually I just said, okay, I give up. This. What we gonna do? And so that is actually when the pivot happened where I began to feel like I could crawl a little bit. Just letting go and Surrendering very, very differently.

B (5:50)

Have you had that moment or will you have that moment? Or if you've had that moment where it was like, well, now it all makes sense. The reason why I was tested is to serve. Have you had that eureka moment where if it wasn't for all those things that I've experienced, I wouldn't be as powerful as I am today?

A (6:05)

Yes.

B (6:06)

What an affirmative.

A (6:07)

Yes. Yes. You know why? Because that's been painful, though, knowing that some people couldn't go with me. So being humble about that, recognizing and realizing that if certain relationships were still in place, that I wouldn't be where I am now. But I can honestly look at, in hindsight where I am now and see the difference in me.

B (6:35)

Absolutely.

A (6:35)

Because, you know, sometimes people want you to stay the old you.

B (6:38)

Oh, yeah.

A (6:39)

They're not ready for the new version of you. And so once I leaned into being okay with not needing to understand what was happening, I just needed to survive it, that really helped me to kind of, like, really, okay, now I can do this again. And recognizing that it's still things that I'm not happy about, but understanding that certain things needed to happen the way that they did.

B (7:07)

Where is your mindset now? Are you in survival mode or are you in powered mode, or are you in building your tribe mode? What mode are you in now?

A (7:16)

I'm in thriving mode. And I never thought that I would get back to this place, you know, because I put so much into relationships, into what I thought I should be doing, that it broke me. And, you know, learning how to recognize what's in front of my face and calling it what it is, not what I want it to be, for sure, but recognizing what it is going to be, the good, the bad, and the in between. And not playing mental gymnastics with myself. Says the forensic psychologist. Right. Not playing mental gymnastics with myself, but, you know, being okay with that. And so recognizing that I overcame all this other stuff. Oh, yeah, I survived it. Oh, yeah, I overcame it. Right. I'm. I'm not a victim. I'm a survivor. I'm an overcomer. So now what we going to do next?

B (8:10)

Yeah, Right on.

A (8:11)

Yeah.

B (8:12)

So what are you gonna go do next? What happens after today? Like, you filmed your episode. We're having a great, energetic podcast. Yay.

A (8:20)

And I wish y' all could see his socks and shoes. He is fabulous. I love them.

B (8:25)

Yes.

A (8:26)

I'm sorry. But, yeah, I love it. Right. I just love authenticity and people just being creatively them. So what's next? I have to hurry up and Boogie back. I am actually.

B (8:36)

Just boogie back. No one's rushing you.

A (8:38)

Yeah, well, my campaign manager is. I. I'm running for political office.

B (8:44)

Oh, wow.

A (8:44)

Something else I never thought I'd be doing.

B (8:46)

Wow.

A (8:47)

So I'm running for political office actively in campaign season. This is midterm season in Jersey.

B (8:55)

What are you running for?

A (8:56)

I'm running for assemblywoman for my district.

B (8:59)

Right on.

A (9:00)

And so this is huge. I never thought I'd be doing that either.

B (9:03)

Yeah. How does one wake up and run for office?

A (9:06)

I don't know. I don't know. To be honest with you. I don't know. Because, you know, I know leaning into the uncertainty and just trusting the process, I'm like, I don't have to have it all figured out. Sometimes I just need to get up and get going. And then your purpose will meet you in process. And so they asked me to run. They extended the invitation.

B (9:33)

Right on.

A (9:34)

So I said, yolo.

B (9:35)

Yolo, yo.

A (9:36)

No, for real. Because, you know, I'm such an extrovert and a free spirit. I don't like to live life with regrets. And so people always look at the glass as half empty. What if it doesn't work out? I've always been the kind of person where I ask myself, what if it does work out?

B (9:53)

For sure. For sure. Dj.

A (9:55)

Yeah. So that can be a little unsteadying, too. The good things.

B (9:58)

An optimist. No. I mean, yes. So talk about the folks that help. Folks like me finding help for themselves. Like the psychiatrist that needs the psychiatrist. Like, that's quite normal, isn't it?

A (10:11)

Yes. Yes.

B (10:12)

You all call it research. I'm just making that up.

A (10:14)

No, but you know, when the helpers actually need the help. That has been so sobering for me because I've had therapy over the years, but this time I needed something very, very differently. Right. In terms of support. And the psychologist who helps me, to say that she is a godsend is an understatement. And. And she calls me out just the way she needs to and she challenges me. And, you know, she has been able to help me identify some common patterns where I've misstepped.

B (10:49)

Right on.

A (10:49)

Right. Because, you know, this process has also been about me updating my strategies and methods. Right. You can't go into a new place or new season with old methods, with the old mind. Like, what worked before, that worked then, that's not. We're in now. That was then. And so sometimes it's so much easier and more comfortable to hold on to what was than to step into the ambiguity of what is now. And so she's really helped me to embrace that. And, you know, I pride myself on not being a hypocrite. And so, you know, I tell my patients to do the same thing. And so I, God forbid, Dr. D is a hypocrite. We're not going to do that because I don't like that kind of stuff. That just rubs me the wrong way.

B (11:39)

Yeah, that's just the tea that we don't want to sip on.

A (11:41)

Yeah.

B (11:42)

So, Dr. D, what is your, what is your. I love how attentive you are. Dr. D. What is your day to day mission? Like you mentioned, patience. What is your day to day mission?

A (11:51)

So my day to day mission includes me getting up every day as best as I can, going after who and what God has called me to be and what that looks like up close and personal. No matter who I'm with. Right. No matter whether or not it's with my daughter, it's with my mom, it's with my friends, it's with my patients, it's politically with my campaign, which is a different way to serve, by the way. I don't see who would run for political office if you didn't have a heart to serve.

B (12:20)

Oh, gosh, yeah.

A (12:21)

A heart for service. Right. You know, I guess some people do it for the ego stroke or the self aggrandizement, but it's hard work. Oh, absolutely. And I think, you know, you, you in order to lead people in that way. And when people trust you with their vote, I don't take that for granted and I don't fan the flames at that. And so for me, when people vote for me, that's telling me I trust you. I not only trust you with me, I trust you potentially with my children. Right. And so I take that trust very humbly and I never want to bastardize that.

B (13:02)

Right on.

A (13:03)

And so day to day for me, you know, pulling back, reshifting, recalibrating what my service looks like more on a macro level, less on an individual level. Still trying to steady a 19 year old through all of that. She's a basketball player in college and also aging baby boomer parents too.

B (13:27)

The Holy Trinity. Yes, Your day to day. I love how you, you've kind of, you've built your pain and you've turned it into absolutely, absolutely into a positive.

A (13:36)

Yes.

B (13:38)

Let's talk about marketing and your energy. DJ Dr. D. How do you get your voice out there? Your message out there? Is it Instagram? Is it TikTok? Is it a Daily affirmation. Are you doing selfies? How are you getting your message out there?

A (13:50)

So for me, I have a routine every morning. And, you know, I read a lot. I also, you know, I'm trying to grow my own private equity and things like. Sure, sure. Through real estate. And so I read a lot. I read a lot of business journals. I read a lot from different moguls because I believe life isn't necessarily about reinventing the wheel. For me, I think you just need to find a wheel that's spinning in the direction that you want to go in and maybe try to borrow a few things from that. So a lot of the business articles that I read, these moguls, they start their day off, almost all of them the same way before they get into the chaos and the busyness of the day. They take time in the morning to set themselves, to set their minds, to really kind of ground themselves differently. And so that's just been kind of like a strategy and a method that I picked up when I was going through the heart, the root of the pain, the trauma, the betrayal, the heartbreak. And it's kind of stuck with me.

B (14:55)

Yep.

A (14:56)

So before I pick up the phone, before I. A lot of. Sometimes I'm sleeping with the laptops in bed with me. Before I flip those open, I literally, I put on some Jim Rohn. I love Jim Rohn. He was a great business, business person, thought leader, actually. When you listen to Tim Robbins, you're actually hearing Jim Rohn because. I'm sorry, Tony Robbins, he interned with Jim Rohn. So that legacy, right? Legacy.

B (15:23)

Little bit of Tony, a little bit of Les Brown.

A (15:26)

Please don't get me started with Mr. Les Brown now, honey, because Les Brown, if I ever meet him, sir, I'm sorry, but it might be a fangirl like Les Brown Eye. Oh, my gosh.

B (15:36)

I don't know how he does it. He just like, where is this coming from?

A (15:39)

Oh, my gosh, I love him. So Tony, Jim Rohn, Les Brown, T.D. jakes, Dr. Tony Evans, those are who I set my mind to. I also exercise. So I set my mind to them, too. Then I start my day because I find that once I stabilize me differently, I can handle what comes throughout the day. And it's a lot that comes throughout the day.

B (16:03)

Oh, sure.

A (16:04)

In fact, I hate technology, to be honest with you. I'm sorry, Mr. Rudy, I'm sorry, but I don't like it. I don't like marketing. I don't like none of this technology. I just don't like it. And I mean that in the most respectful way. It's just I'm not the most. Technologically, these microphones have feelings, you know. Oh, I'm sorry, I just don't like TikTok. But it's just a lot to kind of keep up with. I'm sorry, it's just a lot to kind of.

B (16:28)

This one's a girl, by the way.

A (16:30)

It's just a lot to kind of keep up with. And I'm not the most tech savvy person, but Bishop Jakes has said that you have to go where your audience is and you have to go where your customers are. And right now everybody's on technology, social media. So with that said, my branding manager, she's like, miss, you need to post. My campaign strategist. Miss, you need to post. So I'm like, I'm like, but if people meet me in person, we could probably just go to Popeyes or Denny's and eat us some chicken. Why we can't do. They said, ma', am, you cannot do that with a thousand people. So for me, you know, I try to produce quality content reels, videos with my ministry. I try to give people something to just kind of interrupt the endless. The mindless scrolling. Oh, yeah, Some strategies, some things with meat and legs on them that they can take with them and put into practice. So, you know, my TikTok, Dr. Dion, my Facebook Dr. Dion, my brand pages, my Instagram, the real doctordon. So, you know, I'm active there. And then on my website, drdion D R D I O N E dot com, you, you know, that's how folks can keep up with me.

B (17:40)

Right on, Dr. D. Give us some live feedback for folks that are watching or listening and that have no idea that they're going to become you or want to be you or follow you. What's some words of wisdom you can give them at this very moment? What are you feeling?

A (17:54)

You have everything you need already inside of you to live the life that you want to live. I honestly believe that for me and my work and my capacity, I. I'm here to just help clear the path here and here, to help you tap into what you already have on the inside of you. And I don't care who that is. Some folks may need a little more support in a form of medication, a more intense treatment, all of that to clear up certain things organically or at the level of brain biology. Okay? But I am here to help as best as I can each person reach their maximum capacity, and you have it already inside of you. Life will come and life will test you. But the test I have found, and I'm a living witness, are there to show you what's on the inside of you and to help to shift you into position.

B (18:48)

Right on, Dr. D. Such great, powerful words. You said that right at 111, by the way.

A (18:52)

Say what day you said.

B (18:52)

Oh, you said all that just at 111.

A (18:54)

Oh, wow.

B (18:55)

Okay. It's 112 now. The magic is gone. I'm just teasing.

A (19:00)

You are hilarious.

B (19:02)

Thanks. It's an only child superpower. Anyways, Dr. D, thank you so much for your time and energy.

A (19:07)

Oh, my gosh, this was such a blessing. I feel so humble.

B (19:09)

We are blessed to have you here.

A (19:11)

Excellent.

B (19:11)

Everyone, your energy. Oh, thank you. We love your energy as well, doctor. Thank you. I'm going to wrap up this show. Thank you for being such an amazing woman. And that in power. That concludes another episode of the living your legacy podcast, the red life edition. The women in power edition. This is Dr. D, and I'm Rigatiers for. For inside success.