Living The Red Life

Episode: Founder of Shattered Into One: Breaking Free from the Victim Mindset

Host: Rudy Mawer (Ray Gutierrez serving as guest host for this episode)
Guest: Jessica Conrad, Founder of Shattered Into One
Date: November 10, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of Living The Red Life takes a deep dive into mental health, healing from trauma, and the power of breaking free from a victim mindset. Guest Jessica Conrad, the founder of Shattered Into One, shares her own story of overcoming abuse and self-pity, and offers hard-earned insights on personal responsibility, authenticity, and forgiveness. The conversation is candid, energetic, and often humorous, blending deep self-reflection with practical steps for genuine growth.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Origin and Purpose of Shattered Into One (01:34 - 02:28)

• Jessica introduces her business, Shattered Into One, rooted in supporting those struggling with trauma, feeling broken, or contemplating suicide.
• Her mission is to help people feel whole again—“learning how to trust themselves again, how to make decisions, how to love life again.”

Notable Quote:

“Shattered into one came about to help people go from feeling shattered into feeling whole and one within themselves.” —Jessica (01:56)

2. Ditching Toxic Positivity & Embracing Hard Truths (02:28 - 04:10)

• Ray and Jessica critique empty encouragement and toxic optimism.
• They both advocate for “telling people what they need to hear,” even when it’s uncomfortable.
• Jessica emphasizes that healing often starts with confronting painful truths:

  “I want to hurt your feelings because if your feelings are hurt, you’ll make change... I’m going to hurt your feelings to the point where you don’t stay stuck in this place and you can grow out of it.” —Jessica (03:22)

3. The Power of Voice—Stepping Out of Victimhood (04:45 - 05:57)

• Ray shares that channeling his own pain helped him find his “roar”—his voice.
• Jessica distinguishes between internal voices: love (which drives change) and fear (which keeps you stuck).
• Her pivotal moment: When her sister called her out for playing the victim, prompting a realization that “everything we do in life is a choice. Every way that we think, every decision that we make, every fear that we step into, we’re choosing to do that.” (05:14)

4. Embracing Darkness and Finding Balance (05:57 - 07:35)

• Ray and Jessica discuss the necessity of “darkness”—acknowledging pain and struggle as key to growth.
• Jessica: “For me, it’s learning to stop looking at it in like a two dimensional and to start looking at it where, yes, there’s this and this, this and that, but we operate in the area between, and that’s the balance.” (07:00)

5. Ego Death & Authentic Living (07:56 - 09:10)

• The conversation turns to the challenge of letting go of ego and societal expectations, especially in an age of social media distractions.
• Jessica sees authenticity as “the highest frequency we can operate in,” and calls out the need to disconnect from external validation.
• “You’re not stuck anywhere. You’re not a victim to life circumstances.” —Jessica (09:00)

6. Personal Journey from Victimhood to Balance (09:10 - 11:49)

• Jessica opens up about growing up amid abuse and rejection, trapped in people-pleasing.
• 2012 was a transformative year for her, dedicated to “being selfish” and learning the importance of swinging between selflessness and self-care—eventually finding a middle ground.
• She uses the metaphor of a pendulum or metronome to describe the process of emotional regulation.

Notable Quote:

“If you look at it from like a pendulum, we’re constantly swinging in motion from one side to the other.” —Jessica (10:31)

7. The Role of Tragedy and Reading in Growth (13:23 - 14:54)

• Jessica recounts a turning point: Her abusive ex-husband exposed her secrets during a family event, forcing her to face reality and let go of shame.
• She credits extensive reading and listening, both to authors and therapy clients, as crucial tools in her healing.
• “When you lose everything and you realize, like, life is still here... you stop relying on people and the external to make you feel like you are somebody.” —Jessica (13:23)

8. Creating a Sanctuary for Growth (15:28 - 17:18)

• Jessica describes her office as a personal sanctuary, with spaces dedicated to work, client sessions, relaxation, and hobbies.
• She stresses the importance of disconnection—from devices and social media—to recharge.
• “I just joined a volleyball league because I’m like, you need to be social a little bit.” (16:52)

9. The Work of Shattered Into One—Counseling, Coaching, and Mission Work (17:26 - 22:53)

• Jessica combines counseling and coaching: healing emotional wounds, then helping clients pursue their chosen direction.
• She underscores that simply showing up—even when resistant—signals readiness for healing.
• The I Am Who I Am group: a support circle for both men and women, stressing shared human struggles and non-judgmental support.
• The organization also conducts regular mission work in Belize, providing resources and education for local communities.
• “It doesn’t matter what sex you are. WE all have the same insecurities. Like, we want to be liked, we want to belong.” —Jessica (21:47)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Facing the Hard Truth:

• “I am not the person who will ever tell you what you want to hear, but I will definitely tell you what you need to hear. And a lot of times that is the hard truth.” —Jessica (00:00, 03:22)

On Victimhood as Choice:

• “I was like, I’m not playing a victim. I am a victim. And then hearing that still small voice say, but do you want to choose to be?” —Jessica (05:00)

On Balance and Peace:

• “If I can learn how to find a balance and just kind of be at peace here, then I’m still living in reality.” —Jessica (10:33)

On Shifting Perspective:

• “Instead of, why did this happen to me? I stopped being a victim. And that’s really what I think perpetuates you into…” —Jessica (13:40)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Origin of Shattered Into One & Mission: 01:34 – 02:28
• Tough Love & Facing Reality: 03:22 – 04:10
• Victim Mindset & Taking Responsibility: 05:00 – 05:57
• The Role of Darkness in Growth: 05:57 – 07:35
• Journey from Victimhood to Balance: 09:21 – 11:49
• Transformation After Loss: 13:23 – 14:54
• Creating a Personal Sanctuary: 15:28 – 16:52
• Shattered Into One Programs & Mission Work: 17:26 – 22:53

How to Connect with Jessica Conrad and Shattered Into One

• Website: shatteredinto1.com
• Social: Facebook & Instagram (Shattered Into One)
• Support Group: “I Am Who I Am” for both men and women
• Mission Work: Volunteer and fundraising in Belize
• Jessica welcomes men and women facing trauma, emphasizing that healing is universal.

Episode Tone & Style

The tone throughout is raw, honest, at times playful, and relentlessly encouraging of self-awareness. Both speakers embrace vulnerability and challenge, offering a refreshing antidote to toxic positivity with actionable steps for authentic growth.

This episode is essential listening for anyone feeling lost or stuck in victimhood, for those seeking deeper authenticity, or for entrepreneurs looking to ground their leadership in resilience and realness. Jessica's story and practical insights make clear: breaking free starts with uncomfortable truths, but leads to a flourishing, empowered life.