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- [00:00]
A
What is your daily mission today?
- [00:02]
B
My daily mission right now is to reach as many women as I can, to really meet their best selves, fulfill their potential or full potential in life and reach their highest selves. I mean, I, I truly going back to just not really, I guess, asking how somebody's doing or diving in deeper in conversations. It's like I really just want people to know that like, you're loved and there's somebody here to like a safe, like a safe space and don't be so hard on yourself. I think like the little wins, the small things, like if it's 30 minutes going out for a walk and you know, getting exercise and getting fresh air, do that. That's a small win. Then tomorrow do that and then add something else and just continue doing like the small compounds.
- [00:42]
A
You go to the gym, you work out, you've got your abs, then what?
- [00:45]
B
You've got your abs, then what?
- [00:47]
A
You're sexy now what is it really? Just physicality or how much of it is emotion, Your brain where it's like, great, I look, I'm a hunk now what?
- [00:54]
C
My name's Rudy Moore, host of Living the red life podcast and I'm here to change the way you see your life in your earpiece every single week. If you're ready to start living the red life, ditch the bl pill.
- [01:04]
A
Take the red pill.
- [01:05]
C
Join me in wonderland and change your life.
- [01:08]
A
Welcome back to another episode of the living your legacy podcast, the red life edition. Joining me today is a woman in power, quite the powerful woman, a life coach, a fitness coach, coach of life. Oh, gosh. Ashley Cali joining us. All the way from Cali, right? Yes. Hell, look, look, look. Look what I did there. Welcome to the show.
- [01:30]
B
Right on. Thank you. Thanks for having me. It's a privilege.
- [01:32]
A
How do you feel? We literally just finished filming your episode for women in power.
- [01:35]
B
I feel amazing. I feel relieved that it's over. I feel I'm a perfectionist. So I like wanted everything to be perfect, but I'm really excited to have everything put together and see it come to life.
- [01:46]
A
Put together, Come to life. There are so many bits and parts of. Where do we start? Let's start where you are today and work backwards. What's your day to day like today?
- [01:55]
B
A lot of travel. Cool. I am on the go, which I love, but I love being home at the same time. I recently just moved to Scottsdale, so being in Arizona has been quite the adventure this past year. But my day to day is just really waking up, checking emails I definitely have, like, a morning routine. I'm not sure about you, but that's, like, a thing for me. And that just consists of, like, getting in the Bible and journaling and then going to the gym, walking my dogs. I got three. I know, I'm crazy. I'm like the crazy dog lady. No way. And then, yeah, I just. I check emails, I check in with my girls, and then I really just. I don't know, it's kind of different as the day goes on. Further in the day, I have, like, at least, like, six hours. That's just a good little routine. Yeah.
- [02:44]
A
Let's talk about something that's very important. Your dogs. What kind of dogs do you have?
- [02:48]
B
My dogs are literally my everything. I love them. I have two Chihuahuas, of course, Brothers.
- [02:53]
A
Nice.
- [02:54]
B
And they have a funny story I did. My mom gave them to me, and I couldn't give them back, so I was like, I'll keep them. And then I have a pit bull, and she is literally my everything. She's my angel. She's the best dog ever.
- [03:06]
A
I'm sure the Chihuahuas are far meaner than the pit bull.
- [03:09]
B
They act like they are, but they literally, they. No one has a bad bone in them but Bobo, one of the Chihuahuas, Bobo and Benji, I know they're all bees. We got Benji, Bobo, Bella, I love it. But Bobo, he acts tough, and he is the biggest baby out of them all, but right on. Someone's gotta rule the house.
- [03:26]
A
Oh, dude. So you're a fitness coach.
- [03:28]
B
Yes.
- [03:29]
A
How is the world of fitness today expanding?
- [03:33]
B
There's a lot of people doing it, which I love so much. But, yeah, my business has thrived over the years. I did my first WBFF show about two years ago, and that was fun. It's quite intimidating. But we won my pro card. We did that. So that was pretty interesting. But, yeah, I mean, we've transformed a lot of girls and, you know, making them feel their best selves.
- [03:56]
A
When you say transform. Girls, women, and maybe some everything in between. Is it physical? Is it inside? Is it external? Is it all the above?
- [04:05]
B
What are we doing here? I love that. So it started off as obviously physical, and over the years, especially recently with rise above, it is now everything. So it's like mind, body, soul. So we are really connecting. Just feeling yourself or feeling your best self from the inside out. And I really love to start with the mind. So I've created a lot of workbooks and tools within my business where people can really dive in a lot deeper. And then we also have health, nutrition, and a huge community that we all get to support each other in.
- [04:38]
A
You're a traditionalist because you're assuming. Because you're Italian. So when you, when you say body, I'm. I'm assuming the belly. Eating. Eating. Being Cuban or Italian. I'm Cuban. We eat very well. Talk about how. How you forgot my line of questioning. I'm a little burnt out. Yeah, that, that was my question. Being a traditionalist, you and I very much are raised the old fashioned way. Cuban, Italian, we're all about the physicality. Not a lot of soul searching. There isn't a lot of like, how are you? It's just like, shut up, you're fine. Move on. Like, talk about that.
- [05:10]
B
It's actually true. So I never liked that because you always like, subside feelings in some way, some shape or form, it comes out. And I just. Your body stores a lot of emotions and a lot of things. And so I just figured out, like, I never liked living like that. And now I took like an intentional route of doing the quite opposite and asking, like, how are you doing? Or being intentional with, you know, conversations and with my clients and really diving in deeper and figuring out, like, why are you feeling like this way? You know, like, usually like, you're angry because of. Of X, Y and z, you know, so. Or you're feeling sad and let's just get to the root. Let's just figure out, like, what's causing you to feel or move this way and kind of just cut it out and, you know, rise above it.
- [06:01]
A
Gosh. Yeah.
- [06:02]
B
See what I did there?
- [06:03]
A
Yeah, I totally did what you did there. That's. I should use that segue. Let's talk about rise above. Like, let's. What. What is your daily mission today?
- [06:10]
B
My daily mission right now is to reach as many women as I can to really meet their best selves, fulfill their potential or full potential in life, and reach their highest selves. I mean, I. I truly going back to just not really, I guess, asking how somebody's doing or diving in deeper in conversations. It's like, I really just want people to know that, like, you're loved and there's somebody here to like a safe, like a safe space, you know, and if you want to fill in the gap of, like, what's. What's causing you to, I don't know, just feel like if you're feeling sad or there's like this emptiness inside of you, which I know I had for many years, like, why not address it? Why not face it rather than Just like, living in a certain pattern. And I always say, like, choose your hard. You can either stay in the situation you are or choose the road. That's also gonna be difficult, but it's gonna benefit you.
- [07:03]
A
While you're in the gym, are you mostly weight training, cardio? All the above.
- [07:07]
B
So for many years, it's just been like strength training. But now since. Since I've been older, my body can't just do all that. So I'm starting to do, like, Pilates yoga. So I really switch up, like, my routine during the week. Yoga, I found, has not only been really helpful for, like, my muscles and stuff, but it's also good for the mind. And it just helps you kind of like, I don't know, get in silence and get comfortable being in silence, you know? But, yeah, I love yoga. I think that's like my go to all the time. And definitely massages. I've been incorporating them like no other.
- [07:40]
A
Right on. But yeah. Let's talk about some things that we'll learn about your past and the Women in Power episode. What will we learn about you? You know, we've. We. We can talk about the T word. Traumatic experiences. Let's. Let's touch upon it.
- [07:53]
B
Right? Okay, let's do it. I think we all have traumatic scenarios that go on in our life. I would say mine. I mean, we can go which way you want to go. Like, I guess personal. We'll go on the family. Family. Everyone's family is a little messy, but I definitely grew up with a very blessed life. Don't get me wrong. My family's so loving, such a. They're great people, but we all have our own demons that we face. And growing up, I did have a parent who suffered from alcoholism, and there was a lot of violence, a lot of scariness, a lot of the unknown, a lot of. There's no. There wasn't stability, especially emotional stability. So I had to navigate life, you know, a lot on my own in some areas. And it was very hot and cold.
- [08:39]
A
Sure.
- [08:40]
B
And that was scary at times, especially being as a little girl. My dad being away, being a professional soccer player and just supporting his amazing career and was great, too, but a lot of, like, loneliness, I guess, and sometimes. So I feel like what helped me, I guess, through those times was really gaining a relationship with God. And I didn't really understand how to do that until I would say I got in a car accident back in April of 2012. And there's, like, a lot of, like, synchronicities and, like, weird scenarios. That happened in that car accident, for one. I actually crashed the same time I was born, which I think that's just, like, crazy. And weirdly, like, I mean, with the injuries that I got where I broke my ankles, I couldn't walk for a while. So it's like, I kind of feel like I was, like, reborn in a sense. Cause I had, like, you know, learn how to walk again and just kind of, like, take it from the ground up. And I literally lost everything in my life at that time. When I got in that car accident, I mean, like, down to my dog, it was the craziest thing.
- [09:45]
A
Wow.
- [09:46]
B
So it was like a fresh start, new beginning. But I would say that was a huge, traumatic, pivotal point in my life, for sure. Was. Was my. Was my car accident.
- [09:56]
A
Yeah. I like to identify that as. My personal opinion is like, almost like an ego death. Like, that happened to me. We spoke about that. On your end, you think there's a moment where, like, that version of yourself needs to die off so the real self can ascend?
- [10:08]
B
Yeah. It's so true.
- [10:09]
A
Do you feel like that that's something you experience and currently experiencing?
- [10:12]
B
I think we all have ego deaths more than we, like, actually know. Like, it's not just, like, one or two. It's constant. But definitely, I think I genuinely. I don't even know how to explain my cracks. Yeah, I would say yes, of course. But, like, I think that scenario was. Was something that was a huge redirection in my life. You know, I thought. You know, I thought I had plans to, you know, go try out for the U.S. national team for soccer and play pro and, you know, carry on my dad's legacy and follow his footsteps. And that was a dream of mine. And when I got in that car accident, all of that was kind of swept and taken from me. So starting all over and really rediscovering and figuring out, like, what's my sole purpose here? Like, what am I doing here on Earth when I literally should have died in that car accident? It was just so traumatic. Was very, I guess, an experience. It was, you know, like, a huge rediscovering aspect of, like, who am I? You know, And I. You know what they say, like, when professional athletes, like, retire and they, like, just don't know what to do with their lives. I literally could relate to that.
- [11:19]
A
Like, oh, for sure.
- [11:19]
B
You know, I wasn't. They are at the professional, like, rate. But, I mean, I did play at a very elite level. But just the mindset and just figuring out, like, who the heck Am I. What am I going to do with my life?
- [11:28]
A
Yeah, especially when they. When they're training you. Time, compression, and all these things that happen so intensely week after week now is gone. So now you're like, great, I'm trained to kill, but I have nothing to shoot at.
- [11:39]
B
Yeah. Basically, you know, and it's just like, I guess I, like, brought myself, like, my identity was like a soccer player, and that's all I knew, literally. And now it's like, what do I do with my life, like, when I wake up? And I guess that's where the gym came in. You know, something that saved me. And I was like, all right, let's. I need something to, like, give. Give my adrenaline pumping or something. You know, you go on the field and you're just like, all right, beast mode, let's go.
- [12:01]
A
Right on. As. As a. As a person that's on literally on the field playing soccer or football. What's the. What's the big deal about soccer? Sorry if I sound completely like an asshole when I ask, like, what's the deal?
- [12:13]
B
I mean, no one really asked me that, so I'm like, how do I answer that?
- [12:15]
A
What's the deal with soccer?
- [12:17]
B
Soccer is just such a great. I think any such a sport. Girly. But I. I think just being in a sport in general is so healthy for the mind and it teaches you so much, like, discipline on and off the field and. But I mean, soccer is amazing. Soccer was not big, really, back when I was little and when my dad was like, playing, you know, my dad was the first American to play, you know, in Europe and stuff. And so obviously out in Europe was like, you know, football's like, crazy out there, but, you know, in his era, and like me at ham era, you know, my dad's era, that's like when soccer started getting really big in the United States. But I don't know, man. Don't be hating on soccer.
- [12:55]
A
Soccer. I'm not hating. I actually appreciate it. I just. I just like the theater of drama, of the drama of soccer. No, it's all good. Yeah, man. So how. How are you motivating and changing women today? Is it just like hit the gym or is it like 45 minute deep dive, taking notes and like all the above?
- [13:15]
B
You know, I think it started. I love, like, modeling and fitness. Modeling is like always kind of like my go to.
- [13:20]
A
Sure.
- [13:21]
B
And my body's kind of been like a marketing tool. I know that's weirdly to say, but.
- [13:24]
A
No, I know exactly what I mean.
- [13:26]
B
Yeah. And I Just I guess I started, I wanted to be more relatable. Like, I wanted people to know, like, yeah, okay, you have a banging body, but anybody can have banging body. You know, like just work towards it kind of thing. But, you know, I. I just think through social media and just, you know, sharing my story, being authentic. And I guess honestly being relatable is like the biggest key word I think everybody is to me equal. Like we all get to be whoever we want to be. And I think we all have a. We all have a certain gift and we're all special in one way.
- [13:56]
A
Right on. Right on. Talk about training. I don't do anything close to training, but I am eager to get back to the gym. But I'm only in the gym when I know I'm going to be on camera. I got to do something where my vessel is my money making. Yeah, I'm semi retired. But how do I get back into it? Like, how do I just start?
- [14:13]
B
You know, you just start, you start genuinely. I even have a hard time doing it. Like you. I think at one point, like, I think intent, being intentional is so important in life. And I think you can kind of get caught up in the pattern of like, for instance, right now, like I've been traveling, I've been on the go a lot. I've actually fallen out of my routine. And just recently I told myself my routine gets to follow me. Like, I don't neglect my routine. And I think that also has to deal with like a self love and like situation too, where like some. Or self sabotage maybe, you know, And I think we kind of constantly just battle that throughout life and that's totally fine. It's fine. It's not like it's a bad thing. It's just go back to the tools and go back to what? You know, I think that's the best way to get back into it and don't be so hard on yourself. I think like the little wins, the small things, like if it's 30 minutes going out for a walk and you know, getting exercise and getting fresh air, do that. That's a small win. And then tomorrow you do that and then add something else and just continue doing like the small compounds.
- [15:15]
A
Right on. Yeah. Small compounds. How much of the physical is really just mental? Like a lot of folks will spend maybe months, years at the gym and see not. And they'll see no results because their mindset's not right.
- [15:26]
B
Yeah, I think it's definitely mindset of everything. I mean, anything is mindset. But if you're not seeing results, I would definitely take a step back. And I think it's all a nutrition, to be honest with you.
- [15:38]
A
That's true.
- [15:38]
B
Like, you shouldn't be in the gym for more than, like, I don't know, for me, an hour and a half. Like, what are you doing? Yeah, I mean, I see people on there for like, two, three hours. Like, pro. Like, what do you have? What are you doing? I don't. I want to be in there and get out. But that's just me. I mean, sometimes it's fun to, like, see your friends.
- [15:53]
A
Sure.
- [15:54]
B
You know, you get your little gym buddies in there and stuff, but. Yeah, no, I got stuff to do.
- [15:58]
A
Right on.
- [15:59]
B
You know, I don't want to live in the gym.
- [16:00]
A
Give me. Give me proper etiquette for someone that. That doesn't quite live in the gym, but is part of your routine. Like, what's the proper gym etiquette like to you personally?
- [16:08]
B
For a woman.
- [16:09]
A
For a woman, period.
- [16:10]
B
I will tell you, the girl's got the headphones on and she's in her, like, zone. Please don't come up and try to, like, get our number. Like, ask us how. Like, let us just be in our zone. Try to find, like, another way. But I would definitely say gym etiquette would be putting your weights away. You know, like, let's all be nice to each other. Do that. And just wiping down everything.
- [16:31]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [16:31]
B
But, yeah, I would just make sure you're in your own lane.
- [16:35]
A
Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah. How. I'm sure there is so many. Everything social media today, obviously. So everyone's in the gym and they're, you know, they're racking their weights or doing this. But there's always phones everywhere. Everyone's filming their routine and it's like. Yeah, you know, there's.
- [16:50]
B
It's like, hard. You don't know, like, where to walk. Sometimes I just walk.
- [16:53]
A
Yeah. That's the etiquette. Do you, like, kind of just not look at each other's camera here? Like, how do you just stay authentic without being a salesperson constantly in the
- [17:01]
B
gym, like, while you're filming. I thought you meant someone else's filming. So I'm like, I'll totally peek and be like, hey, what's up?
- [17:06]
A
Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Because you're.
- [17:08]
B
I genuinely just say, just have fun with it. Like, as if you're just like, talking to your friend. Or you're just like, make your. Make the camera your friend, I guess. You know what I mean? Yeah, have fun with it. Like, just Be you. It's not like you should be. Really. You're not selling anybody. You're really just here to educate people and help anybody who doesn't know what to do. And, you know, it's their first time. I have so much. So many clients, actually. Majority of my clients have always been, dude, I'm so scared to go to the gym. I don't know what to do. Like, I just go and do cardio. I'm like, dude, I was there too. But just ask. Like, ask for help. Like, don't be scared. Like, it's okay that you don't know anything. More than anything, people are gonna want to help you and teach you. So just take the help.
- [17:43]
A
I love the fact that you've already set the primer. So gym culture. So you go to the gym, you work out, you've got your abs. Then what?
- [17:50]
B
Your abs, then what?
- [17:52]
A
You're sexy. Now. What is it really? Just physicality or how much of it is emotion? Your brain, where it's like, great. I. Look, I'm a hunk.
- [17:59]
B
What? I just think it's a lifestyle. Like, for me, I brought it into, like, a lifestyle. Like, I just want to feel mentally good. I definitely. You know, that's actually really good question. Or just what we're on topic with. Because after I did my first show, I can totally see how it could, like, get in your head and you could have, like, what is that? Like, body dysmorphia or whatever. Or you'd be so hard on yourself. Oh, my gosh. I was, like, getting that. I'm like, hold on. Like, I need to remind myself that I look great and I feel good. And I started, like, being really hard on myself. And so it actually took the fun and the love of going to the gym away from me, and I had to, like, find that relationship. To be honest with you, I'm still working on finding that relationship with the gym. It's not as bad anymore, but now it's like, it's part of just my lifestyle. It's like, what I love to do. It's. You know, I just. It makes me feel good. So why not do it? You know?
- [18:48]
A
I gotta ask. Because it's that a lot of times that I speak to a fitness coach, that with. With your poll, with your celebrity status on the Internet, I gotta ask, like, how does it work? Next, like, are people in the gym, be it men or women, are you all just, like, cultivating and hanging out with each other? Like, well, I'm not gonna date anyone unless they go to the gym or what? What do you look for? For the men that are. That are listening and to. Too shy to speak to women like you, that are fully, like, in their mind, in their physicality, they're 100.
- [19:18]
B
I mean, in the past, I've dated a gym rat, a few, and it's just not my go to. I want a man. Like, are you asking, like, what I'm
- [19:28]
A
Like, I'm asking like, for you as
- [19:30]
B
a woman, like, what am I looking for?
- [19:32]
A
Like, what you're looking for a man. Like, are you just strictly now that you go to the gym, you have this lifestyle.
- [19:37]
B
I want just someone who can match.
- [19:38]
A
Right.
- [19:38]
B
Just all around. That's just not all about the gym, genuinely. I think that's just, no offense, just a little boring.
- [19:45]
A
Yeah. Right.
- [19:46]
B
Like, I don't want to live in the gym, like, all the time. Like, I just want it to become like, a lot. Like I said, like, it's lifestyle, feel good. You know, it's something you can share in common with, obviously. But, you know, it's not an all, all, be all, you know, that's it kind of situation. But yeah, I don't really overthink that too much, I guess. I'm not like, he needs to go to the gym.
- [20:07]
A
He must go to the gym.
- [20:08]
B
Yeah. Like, I want you to. Like, somebody has to take care of themselves. You know what I mean? Like, that's a huge aspect. That's a important thing. But yeah, you don't have to live in the gym.
- [20:16]
A
Yeah, right on. How do you keep yourself unique when it comes to social media? Everyone's in the gym filming themselves and they've got like, their three tips to do something. But how do you do you?
- [20:26]
B
Good question. Honestly, my. What I really love to do is making more, like, motivational, like, videos and stuff and something that I've either could relate to what I'm personally going through in my life that I kind of need a reminder or. Or I've kind of like, already gone down that path and I just feel like. Like it's a good message to kind of get across.
- [20:48]
A
Sure.
- [20:48]
B
So, like, I guess what is it called you, like, you're the genius when it comes to filming is like cinematic.
- [20:53]
A
Cinematic.
- [20:53]
B
Yeah, yeah. So, like, cinematic filming, like, that's like what I love to do the most. Perfect. So maybe that's like, what I'm different.
- [20:59]
A
Yeah. Like tiny little Nike ads. Like motivation.
- [21:02]
B
I love the motivational, cinematic, dramatic stuff, whatever you want to call it, but something that's gonna, like, catch some. Someone on the Emotional aspect. I think that's, like, really important.
- [21:11]
A
Talk about last couple questions before we wrap up. Talk about Les Brown and finding your tribe and finding a mentor.
- [21:16]
B
I love Les Brown. Yeah. He's helped me in probably one of the biggest struggles besides my car accident, I would say there was a time that I was very in love with somebody and we broke up and went home, and things got very messy at home, so my life was just totally turned upside down. And I got introduced through with les Brown on YouTube, and I would feed my mind with what he would tell me every day. And the one thing that stuck to me as I was on this new journey and this healing journey and reinventing myself and rediscovering myself, you know, he said, if you want to become someone you've never been, you got to do something you've never done. And I literally live by that every day. And that just hypes me up because I'm like, hell, yeah. Like, I want to be someone I've never been like, or I want to become better. I got to do something different. I got to do something I've never done, you know, and obviously that's going to bring, like, a lot of fear, but that's a good thing, I think. You know, you have to lean into fear. You have to befriend it, because there's a lot of, like, blessings and great things on the other side of that.
- [22:26]
A
Cool.
- [22:26]
B
You also have to be courageous, so.
- [22:28]
A
Right. Be courageous and lean into.
- [22:29]
B
Be courageous and just do it.
- [22:30]
A
Yeah, yeah. Right on. What are. What are. What's the easiest way folks can discover you and learn more about you?
- [22:36]
B
Honestly, Instagram is the best way to reach me. So Ashcali on IG, but, yeah, just slide in the DMs and ask away. Let's be friends.
- [22:47]
A
Right on. Well, gosh, Ash Kelly, that was such an amazing afternoon. Happy Friday.
- [22:51]
B
Yeah, Happy Friday. Thanks for having me.
- [22:52]
A
Yeah, yeah. And enjoy your time here in Miami. And.
- [22:55]
B
Oh, I will.
- [22:56]
A
I'll see you at the Mastermind, I hope, right?
- [22:58]
B
Yes, I will definitely be getting my ticket. I'll see you there.
- [23:01]
A
I'll introduce you to Rudy. Yay. All right, well, that concludes another episode of the Living youg Legacy podcast, the Red Life edition. That's Ash. I'm Ray. Good night.