Tiana Zang

Summary

Podcast Summary: Living The Red Life – Episode Featuring Tiana Zhang

Episode Information:

• Title: Living The Red Life
• Host: Rudy Mawer (“The Man in Red”)
• Guest: Tiana Zhang
• Release Date: July 30, 2025

Overview: In this insightful episode of Living The Red Life, host Rudy Mawer is joined by Tiana Zhang, a seasoned professional transitioning from a 20-year career in hospice and palliative care to becoming a clinical matchmaker. Together with her cousin and psychotherapist, Marnie Zhang Catalaro, Tiana has founded Mindful Match, a matchmaking service that emphasizes deep compatibility over superficial connections. The conversation delves into the dangers of loneliness, the inadequacies of traditional dating apps, the importance of authenticity in relationships, and Tiana's personal journey of reinvention.

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1. The Perils of Loneliness and Modern Dating Challenges

Tiana Zhang opens the discussion by highlighting the severe impact of loneliness, especially in the post-pandemic era where social interactions have diminished.

"Loneliness is so dangerous."
— Tiana Zhang [00:00]

She critiques the current state of the dating scene, pointing out that modern dating apps lack depth and authenticity, leading to superficial connections.

"People don't know how to talk to each other anymore... it's very superficial."
— Tiana Zhang [00:03]

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2. Founding Mindful Match: Bridging the Gap in Matchmaking

Tiana introduces her collaboration with Marnie Zhang Catalaro, a retired clinical licensed psychotherapist specialized in marriage and family counseling. Together, they aimed to revolutionize matchmaking by focusing on core values, belief systems, and personality traits using the Big Five model.

"If you build the program around that, I'll build the business. And that's what we did."
— Tiana Zhang [00:48]

Their mission was to create meaningful and lasting connections, moving away from the superficiality prevalent in traditional matchmaking and dating apps.

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3. The Importance of Authenticity in Relationships

Tiana emphasizes the necessity of authenticity in both dating and professional interactions.

"Authenticity is what will get you there."
— Tiana Zhang [04:35]

She discusses how deceptive practices on dating platforms often lead to mistrust and failed relationships, advocating for honest representation to foster genuine connections.

"If people were truly authentic, Match.com would work every time."
— Tiana Zhang [05:07]

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4. Tiana’s Personal Journey: From Hospice to Matchmaking

Delving into her background, Tiana shares her 20-year tenure in hospice and palliative care, where she experienced firsthand the profound effects of mortality and loneliness.

"When you face mortality every day, shit doesn't matter."
— Tiana Zhang [16:36]

Her experiences led her to prioritize meaningful relationships and personal growth, inspiring her transition into matchmaking.

She also recounts her personal reinvention after retiring from hospice work, including her journey through various relationships and eventual fulfillment in a meaningful partnership.

"I have been in a wonderful relationship for over two years with an amazing gentleman who has all the qualities that I needed and I never knew it."
— Tiana Zhang [17:00]

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5. Mindful Match’s Unique Approach to Matchmaking

Tiana outlines how Mindful Match stands out by being highly selective with clients, ensuring that they are seeking long-term, committed relationships. Unlike other services, they maintain a consistent pricing model regardless of clients' demographics, fostering fairness and integrity.

"We charge everybody the same whether you are male, female, whether you are 25, whether you are 70."
— Tiana Zhang [12:45]

The service is inclusive, welcoming heterosexual, LGBTQ+, and ethical non-monogamous individuals, emphasizing alignment in core values and relationship goals.

"It's all about really your core values and aligning."
— Tiana Zhang [13:46]

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6. Overcoming Modern Dating Pitfalls

The conversation touches on prevalent issues such as AI-generated profiles and the overwhelming number of options on dating apps, which can hinder genuine connections.

"There's always another one. It's absurd for sure."
— Tiana Zhang [08:38]

Tiana explains how Mindful Match combats these challenges through meticulous screening and personalized matchmaking strategies, ensuring clients connect with compatible partners.

"We are the human lie detectors. We fact check that stuff."
— Tiana Zhang [10:22]

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7. Manifestation and Action in Building Relationships

Tiana shares her philosophy on manifestation, stressing the importance of combining vision with proactive steps to achieve relationship goals.

"Manifestation plus action... you have to have action."
— Tiana Zhang [21:34]

She advises clients to clearly define what they want in a partner and to take deliberate actions towards finding and nurturing those relationships.

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8. Addressing Loneliness in High-Achieving Women

Tiana provides valuable insights for successful women who excel professionally but struggle with loneliness in their personal lives. She underscores the importance of evolving and seeking balanced relationships where partners can complement each other.

"You have to put yourself in a space where a man can take care of you."
— Tiana Zhang [23:14]

She encourages women to remain open to genuine connections and to recognize the value of partnership in achieving personal fulfillment.

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9. Authentic Connection: The Foundation of Mindful Match

Throughout the episode, Tiana reiterates that the cornerstone of Mindful Match is fostering authentic connections based on mutual respect, shared values, and genuine compatibility.

"Our job is to find you the person for you and that person may just be the person who annoys you the least. Not the perfect person."
— Tiana Zhang [12:44]

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Conclusion and How to Connect with Tiana Zhang

As the episode wraps up, Tiana shares ways listeners can connect with her and learn more about Mindful Match.

"You can find me on Facebook and TikTok as Tiana Zhang. You can find me on Instagram as tianamfzhang. We are also on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok at Mymindfulmatch.com."
— Tiana Zhang [24:50]

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Key Takeaways:

• Authenticity Matters: Genuine self-representation is crucial for meaningful relationships.
• Selective Matchmaking: Mindful Match prioritizes quality over quantity, ensuring clients are well-suited for long-term commitments.
• Personal Growth: Reinventing oneself is possible and can lead to fulfilling personal and professional lives.
• Balanced Relationships: High-achieving individuals benefit from partnerships that offer emotional support and mutual growth.

This episode offers profound insights into the complexities of modern dating and the significance of building authentic, value-based relationships. Tiana Zhang’s expertise and personal experiences provide a roadmap for listeners seeking meaningful connections in an increasingly superficial dating landscape.

Transcript

[Tiana Zhang]

Loneliness is so dangerous.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Oh, yeah.

[Tiana Zhang]

And people who come out into the dating arena who haven't been there in a while now, there's nothing but these apps. People don't know how to talk to each other anymore. And then you have traditional matchmaking, which there are some wonderful matchmakers out there. In fact, we collaborate with a lot of them, but it's very superficial.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Oh, yeah.

[Tiana Zhang]

And so Marnie is a clinical licensed psychotherapist who specialized in marriage and family counseling for years and years. And she had retired not too long after I did. And she came to me one day and said, you know, I'm just not done helping people. I think I found a way I want to match people based off of core values, belief systems, personality traits, the Big 5 model, and not this superficial stuff. And I said, marnie, if you build the program around that, I'll build the business. And that's what we did.

[Ray Gutierrez]

What do you tell folks that are in their 40s and they're reinventing themselves or don't know they need to reinvent themselves? What are the triggers?

[Tiana Zhang]

Here's what I will say in a general and then I'll break it down.

[Rudy Moore]

My name's Rudy Moore, host of Living the Red Life Podcast, and I'm here to change the way you see your life in your earpiece every single week. If you're ready to start living the red life, ditch the blue pill. Take the red pill. Join me in wonderland and change your life.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Welcome to another amazing episode of Living the Red Life Podcast. I am your host for the Inside Success Network. I am Ray Gutierrez. Joining me today is quite a the matchmaker of all matchmakers. Please introduce yourself. Who are you?

[Tiana Zhang]

Well, my name is Tiana Zhang. I've been a connector my whole life, and my latest business venture is clinical matchmaking with my partner and my cousin and very best friend, Marnie Zhang. Catalaro.

[Ray Gutierrez]

All right. That's quite the zinger. Zanger.

[Tiana Zhang]

Zinger, Zinger, man. Zang power.

[Ray Gutierrez]

We got to start with living with that last name. What's it like?

[Tiana Zhang]

It's amazing. It's fantastic. You know, Z H A N G is very common in Asia, so a lot of times it gets misspelled, but we are truly the Z A N G. Right on. Yeah.

[Ray Gutierrez]

So where do you begin? Where do you start?

[Tiana Zhang]

Where do I start? So, truthfully, I feel like I have just been an open, connected people person my whole life, and I feel like hard work and then just being open to opportunity has always led me in the last place. So this last business venture that I'd been involved with with my cousin Marnie, my mindful match, she brought me out of retirement. I was retired for two years. But when she brought this passion and idea to me, I knew we had to do it, and I knew we had to disrupt the industry.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Well, before we get into the matchmaking, what did you see that needed fixing? What was happening around you? Like, I can fix that. Matchmaking is broken. These apps are a little crude. Like, how did you step in and go, I can clinically show you how I can match folks together, certainly.

[Tiana Zhang]

So from my perspective, loneliness and my past career, which I know we'll talk about, I spent 20 years in hospice and palliative care, and actually, I ended my career going through Covid with these patients and families, and loneliness is so dangerous. And I think that we all kind of discovered that during that time. So now we come out of this pandemic where people have been isolated, where social interaction is less and people who come out into the dating arena who haven't been there in a while. Now there's nothing but these apps. People don't know how to talk to each other anymore. And then you have traditional matchmaking, which there are some wonderful matchmakers out there. In fact, we collaborate with a lot of them, but it's very superficial.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Oh, yeah.

[Tiana Zhang]

And so Marnie is a clinical licensed psychotherapist who specialized in marriage and family counseling for years and years. And she had retired not too long after I did. And she came to me one day and said, you know, I'm just not done helping people. And I said, well, me neither, Marn, but what are you thinking? She goes, I think I found a way. I want to match people based off of core values, belief systems, personality traits, the Big 5 model, and not this superficial stuff. And I said, marnie, if you build the program around that, I'll build the business. And that's what we did.

[Ray Gutierrez]

So you're the anti 15 second friends.

[Tiana Zhang]

Anti 15 second friends, yeah.

[Ray Gutierrez]

You know, I feel like you have to create an alter ego of yourself. Well, this is my personal experience. You really can't authentically be yourself in reality. You have to create this alter ego to protect yourself. Like, so I feel like you also like that because of social media, like, you're creating this reality that's not quite real. So when you're looking like this and talking all 100%, you're trying to show off the 100% version of yourself to everyone at all times. That's exhausting.

[Tiana Zhang]

It is. And this is what we Tell everybody right from the beginning, both in matchmaking and in life, authenticity is what will get you there. So I have always been known as an extremely authentic person. Most of the time it works in my favor. Right? And so especially even if you are using the dating apps, and dating apps can work, but only if you really put yourself out there and only if somebody's willing to meet you. Where you at with that authenticity? I mean, truthfully, if people were truly authentic, Match.com would work every time.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Oh, for sure.

[Tiana Zhang]

But it doesn't because people are deceptive. And sometimes they're intentionally deceptive, but sometimes they're just not self aware. And so they think all these things. So they think this is what somebody's looking for. But if that's not your authentic self, you're just setting yourself up for failure. And like, seriously, the photos, we wish it didn't matter, okay? But the fact of the matter is, photos matter. Do not use a photo that is 15 years old because you liked it. Because what's going to happen is somebody's going to show up to meet you and whether they like you or not or whether they would be attracted to you present day or not, you've broken the trust. You've already just blown it.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Before we go into the matchmaking, what's your philosophy of putting almost like a headshot or your face on a resume?

[Tiana Zhang]

Okay, so as great response, right? Hiring people for 20 years, particularly in hospice and palliative care. Okay, so a resume is good, but for me, I want to look into somebody's eyes and I want to feel your spirit. A headshot. To me, it's just like you were saying with the 15 second, it's posed. What I'd rather have, if you insist on putting a picture on your resume, is you in your natural habitat. Right? So let's say you are going for a sales job, right? Put yourself out there with a golf club or in a social atmosphere, something that you're doing, something that shows your personality. But I'm not a big fan of pictures on a resume and I'm not a fan of big resumes.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Really?

[Tiana Zhang]

No, absolutely not. If you've got to paint yourself that well, I mean, leave something to the imagination, give me the bullet points and let me discover you.

[Ray Gutierrez]

It's funny because that sentiment can overlap in all sorts of different brands.

[Tiana Zhang]

It does.

[Ray Gutierrez]

And even the way you film, even when I do direct commercials, I always like to sneak in little Easter eggs visually because I know I'm speaking to the third eye as opposed to the eyes that's it. So it's kind of triggering something. So leaving enough to the imagination, you're essentially hyping up this person that you're about to meet and it's up to that person to impress you or depress you completely.

[Tiana Zhang]

And that's where it really translates. And that's where my specialty is, is when I find something that I'm passionate about or I find somebody who has a passion, business translates for the most part. There's the idiosyncrasies and there's the different dialects and languages that you speak within the businesses. And of course there's some variation, service versus product or whatnot, but the elements of business remain the same. So that's why I get so excited about a startup. That's why I get so excited about growth, those kind of things.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Speaking of startup, I was the 22nd employee to Patreon. Are you familiar with Patreon? Yeah. Jack Conte, the CEO, he sat right across from me. And what I do with Rudy, I cut vlogs, shoot his content. And we did that for a year. And it was interesting to see Jack Conti. And I was trying to shake him and be like, you got to be Jack Conte. Like, yeah, folks, the artists in Miami aren't going to listen to you. Like, it's a totally different vibe on the east coast versus the West Coast. Not to fault any coast. We don't want to bring up that war again. But this growing up, I was born and raised in Miami and then moved to the West Coast. And like, it's a totally different vibe. I completely was born when then. So a lot of back to matchmaking. A lot of the energy. I'm a Fault to using OkCupid. OkCupid work. And this was 2009. I met one of my greatest loves there. But it was based off of the chemistry, not the visual. And that's what your expertise, a clinical chemistry of matchmaking is what you rely on, correct?

[Tiana Zhang]

Yes. And I also think that when the Okcupids and those things came out, we're talking dating 2008, 2009, people still had elevated social skills than they do today. Right. So they would use it as a tool to get. I mean, Right. You didn't message for weeks, you probably messaged a couple times and then met. Right now people are messaging 15 people for weeks and months and things like that. So it was a tool to get in front of somebody, which is very, very different than it's used today. Also, I think people were using it seriously. Now we're basically using dating apps as Amazon for people. There's just always another one. You know, I'm just waiting for them to put like the star ratings up there. Like, this one was a five, this one was a four. It's absurd for sure. So how do you even, you know, decide on somebody when you know there's 20 others waiting?

[Ray Gutierrez]

Yeah. So then 20 and then 18 of those are AI generated photos.

[Tiana Zhang]

Completely.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Yeah. We haven't even gotten into that.

[Tiana Zhang]

Oh, the bots.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Yeah. So how do you fight that? Like, how do you, like.

[Tiana Zhang]

So even with our current clients, a lot of them are on dating apps, even though we're matchmakers and we help them manage them.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Right on.

[Tiana Zhang]

So there is a secret sauce to the way that you do your dating app. There absolutely is. And it will eliminate a lot of the bs. And then we know how to look for the bots and whatnot and things like that. Really? There's a lot of people that think that they have a great dating app, but they're getting the same people over and over and over again. Why do you think that is? It's the same thing with matchmaking. That's what Marnie told me. She used to counsel people. So couples that were mismatched, first of all, but then also singles that were her individual clients that ended up dating the same person over and over and over again. You got to break those maladaptive dating cycles. Oh, for sure, right? I mean, if you keep dating, why do you think it doesn't consistently work out?

[Ray Gutierrez]

Right on.

[Tiana Zhang]

You got to change what you're attracted to.

[Ray Gutierrez]

So how do you, how do you keep the narcissists and people that are, like, prowling for folks that are just wanting to be love bombed or just enjoy love bombing? Like, talk about the, the psychological horrors of what you're trying to fight against?

[Tiana Zhang]

Well, again, with the expertise of the clinical psychologist, she is trained to identify personality disorders, emotional regularity, dysregularity, narcissistic tendencies, addiction issues. So we are constantly screening for all of that. And people can fill out our surveys and say whatever they want, but we are the human lie detectors. We fact check that stuff. And also you can say, hey, would you date somebody who traveled a lot for work? Oh, sure, not a problem. What do you do to fill your time when they're gone? Right. You ask these follow up questions and you can see the tinges. So people will answer in a way that they think is gonna get them more dates or think that they, you know, somebody wants to hear, but it's not authentic for sure. If it's not gonna align with you, why pretend? Don't say that you play pickleball five times a week. If you don't, just don't.

[Ray Gutierrez]

I go to the gym. I'm going to the gym right now. I'm working out as I speak.

[Tiana Zhang]

Yeah, just do or don't because there's a for every foot.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Oh, for sure, for sure.

[Tiana Zhang]

Yeah.

[Ray Gutierrez]

So now that we've swam in red waters and talked about all the noise, let's go jump into blue waters.

[Tiana Zhang]

Blue.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Why are you different? Like how do I onboard you? How do I find you? Walk me through the journey of how do I get to you and the.

[Tiana Zhang]

Success story in regards to my, my mindful match. The way that we are different is we are extremely selective in who we take on. So we, we won't just take on any client. And if somebody comes to us, if we get a 65 year old billionaire who comes in and says, I want to date a bunch of 25 year olds, we pass them along. We don't care what they're willing to pay. It's just not what we're aligned with for sure. So we really want to screen our people. We want to make sure that they're looking for a long term committed relationship. They must engage in the coaching. They must be willing to be open to look at things that have worked for themselves, to look at things that haven't. I mean, we are not weird science. Who's going to type in 1982 the perfect human and spit them out for sure. Our job is to find you the person for you and that person may just be the person who annoys you the least. Not the perfect person. So we're very different in that. The other way that we're very different is we don't have this ridiculous sliding scale payment model.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Oh boy.

[Tiana Zhang]

So you go into a matchmaker and depending on what you look like, how much money you make, what criteria you're looking for, your age, they will give you a sliding scale of payment. We charge everybody the same whether you are male, female, whether you are 25, whether you are 70. And we will not take you on unless here's our criteria. We only work with people that we would date or we would be friends with.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Wow.

[Tiana Zhang]

Yeah. I mean, otherwise how can we market you?

[Ray Gutierrez]

Right on.

[Tiana Zhang]

Right. That's not fair. It's not fair to whoever we're setting.

[Ray Gutierrez]

You up with for sure. So, so across the map, who can jump on this journey? Aliens, Binary folks. Male, female, where are you on the scale. Scale of progression here.

[Tiana Zhang]

On the scale of progression. So we've had. We are LGBT friendly. Cool. Okay. So we absolutely work primarily with hetero individuals, but we've had several gay clients, which has been an absolute blast. We are also not opposed to ethical throuples.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Okay.

[Tiana Zhang]

Yeah.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Right on.

[Tiana Zhang]

Yeah. Ethical, non monogamy, all sorts of things. It's really about why you want it and what you're willing to do for it. It's all about really your core values and aligning. So people are going into it with the best intentions. We'll work it out. But the other thing is, if we don't think we can serve you or find what you're looking for, we will not take your money.

[Ray Gutierrez]

For sure.

[Tiana Zhang]

Yeah. I mean, we don't make money in darkness. Nobody should. There's a lot of people that do. I will make plenty of money in lightness by doing the right thing. The business will always come.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Very cool. I love that. I'm going to use. I'm going to put that on a shirt. Okay, so since this is a marketing company and a marketing podcast, how do you begin the journey? I keep saying journey because I'm very experimental. Like, I love experiences. I don't like funnels. I like the experiences. So is it a Facebook ad? Are we doom scrolling? And I see a 5 second AD. How does it be good? Is it word of mouth through friends?

[Tiana Zhang]

Word of mouth is always the way in all of my companies that I have started out. And it's truthfully, one of the reasons we launched so quickly is I had an extensive tenure and so did my cousin in doing the right thing for a long time. So we already had that trust factor established. Now the last time I did a startup business, social media was not the way that it is now. So the social media learning curve has been a big one and she handles most of that and she's doing an absolute fantastic job. But it's really about in any business. And this is when I scaled my hospice and grew it to be what it was in an environment that it never should have happened. You do the right thing, you say what you're gonna, you know, if you say you're gonna do it, you gotta follow through and you just be authentic with people. It's not hard.

[Ray Gutierrez]

You're working for how, like 20 years is a long time to be at a hospice? Like, what happens there? Like, what did you learn? And who were you before those 20 years and who are you today after those?

[Tiana Zhang]

Okay, so being in Hospice for 20 years was the love of my life.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Wow.

[Tiana Zhang]

It was absolutely amazing. I fell into it backwards. I'm sure we'll talk about that now or later, whatever you want to do. But day two, I knew it's where I was supposed to be. I took care of both of my parents in my early 20s until they both passed away. And I didn't know of the resources that were out there. So it became my mission to ensure that families and patients had the tools that they knew were available to them. So I just talked. I just talked and I had those courageous conversations that people are afraid to have. And so sitting bedside with thousands, and this is not an exaggeration, thousands and thousands of patients and families over 20 years. It teaches you a lot, right? So when you face mortality at a young age and then you face mortality every day for 20 years, shit doesn't matter.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tiana Zhang]

I mean, a lot of stuff, you really learn to really enjoy and celebrate small moments, to not sweat the small stuff, as cliche as that sounds, and it makes you a very different person at the same time. There's also a cap level to where you can give like that.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Oh, yeah.

[Tiana Zhang]

And when I noticed that my cap level was there is when I decided to gracefully exfit. And it's been wonderful.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Wow. Well, welcome back. So what's your personal dating life like? Like, are you married? Like, what is your personal vertical?

[Tiana Zhang]

I have no personal vertical. Buying is a zigzag, which is, again, why I think this was such a wonderful leap for me. Right. So I got into hospice because of personal experience.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Yes.

[Tiana Zhang]

Caring for my parents over my career in hospice. Not only did I take care of thousands of patients and families that organically came through my hospice, but so many family members and friends and things like this. So when I would sit in front of a family and patients, when I would sit in front of my staff and talk to them, I got it and I knew what they needed. So when Marni came to me with this matchmaking thing, right, and her clinical evidence and her studies, first of all, she taught me how to regroup. So I was married shortly to my daughter's father in my early 20s when my father died and divorced him shortly before my mother died, then I entered into a 15 year relationship with a woman, and that just fizzled as I was building my businesses. So at the age of 45, I retired. I became single after 15 years. And I had this opportunity to completely recreate my identity because I was the hospice lady for 20 years, and I took the time and along with Marnie's help with a lot of self care, with reconnecting with family and friends that frankly, I was just too busy to see. For all those years. I reinvented myself and I learned to change the way I date. I learned to change what I was attracted to. I learned that I could still be a boss lady, but not a boss bitch. And these are some of the things that we work with our clients with. And I've been in a wonderful relationship for over two years with an amazing gentleman who has all the qualities that I needed and I never knew it. And conversation is very different. You have to practice what you preach. I cannot go out there and talk about dating skills and relationship goals and all of these things and go home and do something different. That's not authentic, that's hypocritical. It doesn't mean that I can't fall into my old patterns. Oh, for sure, because I was that way for many, many years. But I have to stop, recognize and pivot because what is the goal? Is the goal to be in that long term committed relationship? Well, then you got to work on it every single day for sure.

[Ray Gutierrez]

What do you tell folks that are in their 40s and they're reinventing themselves or don't know they need to reinvent themselves? What are the triggers either on their third divorce or they don't have enough children, or what do you see psychologically when you're onboarding folks that you see, oh, another 42 year old man that has little children, he's going to be perfect for this, this and that. Like what are the triggers?

[Tiana Zhang]

So there are, there are some criteria, but here's what I will say in a general. And then I'll break it down, okay? Healthy whole people. Find healthy whole people. If you are looking to fill a gap, you are going to get into a relationship that doesn't serve you. Nobody else can fill those gaps. Now, there are wants that you can work with in a relationship.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Desires.

[Tiana Zhang]

Desires. But if you are looking for someone to fill that hole, it's never gonna be enough for sure. And so when you are looking and reinventing yourself, first of all, a couple of things. These people, and I was one of them after I got out of the 15 year relationship that was like, I don't need anybody. I love being alone. I'll date around, I'll mess around, but I'm gonna do my thing. There are people who that actually is true.

[Ray Gutierrez]

For them it's a culture.

[Tiana Zhang]

However, most of the time it's a defense mechanism. So as humans, right we are not biologically designed to be alone. We are not. And so that's where I go into self awareness. Really look at what you want. Go out there and again, don't settle. But also don't be so hard that you're gonna give up on a good person. Because there's one what you consider deal breaker. Is it really a deal breaker or is it just a do not want? And that's one of the things that I learned, right? So people were like deal breakers and must haves. Well, there's two more categories. There's wants and do not wants.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Sure.

[Tiana Zhang]

So a lot of people put deal breakers, but they're actually just a do not want. You can work with it.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Oh, for sure. And you'll definitely attract it. You will absolutely attract it. Talk about some of that. Let's close on that on attraction and manifestation. What are your theories and evidence that it works?

[Tiana Zhang]

I believe in manifestation, but manifestation plus action, okay? So you can imagine your partner, you can imagine your next business. But if you sit your butt on the couch and do nothing about it, it's not going to happen, guys. You have to have action. So you create your vision, you create what you want, and then you work towards the steps for it. So here's the other thing. If you want a fit person, okay, so everybody says that, you know, I want somebody who's very, very fit. Why? Is it because you also have that lifestyle and you want somebody to share it with or is it just because what you're attracted to? Well, what are you bringing to the table? So you've got to get very, very clear on what you want, why you want it, the why, and then you can manifest it and then you gotta take the steps towards it. So whether that's looking for a partner, looking for business opportunities, scaling your business, whatever it is, action matters. Good action, not busy work action. There are a lot of people that fill themselves with busy work. I mean, oh yeah, seriously, what are we doing here?

[Ray Gutierrez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you tell to folks, women that are in their 40s and 50s and they're just execs, their third, their top of their game. But they get home and the ones there to cook for them, they're just alone. But they're kicking it and crushing it in the industry, in the business. But they come home and it's a massive house and it's like absolutely no children laughing, no one, hi, honey. Like, what do you tell that to psychologically, to someone, hey, you grew up in the 80s watching Full House. You grew up Watching Saved by the Bell, you're supposed to be this person, but you grew up to be nothing.

[Tiana Zhang]

Yes.

[Ray Gutierrez]

What do you tell to those folks? That's why the lonely dichotomy is so, like, fruitful. It's like we were designed to be something and we failed.

[Tiana Zhang]

Yes. But as. As humans and as women, we have an amazing ability to evolve, so we will absolutely justify that. And that's where we become, you know, we get involved in these hobbies, these girlfriends, clubs, these whatever. So this is also what women of that level who have raised their children, who have created successful businesses, who are financially independent, who are socially independent when they're looking for a partner, it is hard for a man to meet that energy, right? Oh, hell yeah. And that's why a lot of these women end up with men that they have to take care of.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Yes.

[Tiana Zhang]

Right. And then we hear that all the time. Well, guess what? You have to put yourself in a space where a man can take care of you and men. You have to be in a space where you can recognize that boss lady. You can give her accolades, but you can also be chivalrous and be the man. It is a balance. And I will tell you something else. As a woman who said I didn't need anybody and created that energy and lived 45 years of my life like that.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Wow.

[Tiana Zhang]

I don't want to come home and decide what's next. I love it when my man steps up and says, this is what we're going to do tonight.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[Tiana Zhang]

I don't want to come home and make any more decisions. That's what I do all day long.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Very simple. Look at that.

[Tiana Zhang]

Yeah.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Did we learn something today? I don't know.

[Tiana Zhang]

Did we?

[Ray Gutierrez]

I definitely did.

[Tiana Zhang]

I did.

[Ray Gutierrez]

You know, I'm turning 42 on Sunday, so I'm on my fourth ascension.

[Tiana Zhang]

Great skin.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Thank you.

[Tiana Zhang]

Yeah.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Right on. It's my Nicaraguan Cuban jeans.

[Tiana Zhang]

Ooh. Okay, I get it.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Enough about me. Let's close on you. Where can people find you? Where can people admire you and love you more? Give us a share social media on your dot com.

[Tiana Zhang]

Oh, so fun. Well, I am Tiana Zhang. T I A N A Z A N G. You can find me on Facebook and TikTok as Tiana Zhang. You can find me on Instagram as tianamfzhang. We are also on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok. Mymindfulmatch. Com.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Awesome. Thank you. That concludes another amazing episode of Living the Red Life podcast. Thank you so much for quite the zinger, Zangers. Yeah.

[Tiana Zhang]

Zing zang.

[Ray Gutierrez]

Zing zang. Again, thank you so much. For Inside Success Network, I am Ray Gutierrez. It.