Podcast
LOVERS by Shan
Hosted by LOVERS by shan · EN
LOVERS by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram’s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right.
Past guests include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away.
When we paused in 2023 we had 5.1 million listeners and 8 million YouTube views. Excited to see how many lives we can impact in 2025 with our fresh look and approach.
Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media https://lemonadamedia.com/
29episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Is It Wrong to Still Want Attention if You’re in a Relationship ft. Lauren Morrison
1w ago01:15:09Tap to summarizeSex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults: https://beduc.at/bg2620-boody ------ In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with my sister Lauren Morrison to say something ick: we both still enjoy attention from men. While we prepare for Mash Majesty, our section for Toronto Caribbean Carnival, we’ve been having important conversations around what carnival represents for us, and in addition to community and culture, it’s also a day to flirt with the gaze! In this episode, we talk about how motherhood, marriage, long-term partnership, and aging can shift the way women experience themselves socially and romantically, especially in a culture that simultaneously rewards female desirability while shaming women for acknowledging that they enjoy it. Together, we unpack why so many women quietly miss feeling desired, why being loved and being wanted are not always the same emotional experience, and how spaces like Carnival and Mash Majesty can reconnect women to embodiment, visibility, sensuality, play, and freedom without shame. This episode is deeply personal, but it’s also connected to the spirit behind Mash Majesty itself: creating a space where women can feel expressive, magnetic, joyful, powerful, sensual, seen, and fully alive in their bodies. If you’ve ever questioned whether it’s shallow to enjoy attention, missed feeling desired in your relationship, or struggled with how motherhood, aging, or partnership changed the way the world responds to you, this conversation is for you. Join us for Toronto Caribbean Carnival August 1st, 2026 https://tribal.masos.app/events/b73d9cf9-ca8b-4d97-b7c8-a2511cec0b35/sections/db97e350-5840-448f-ba03-ff461464549c Follow Lauren Morrison → Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachlaurenmorrison/→ Get Lauren’s new book https://www.amazon.com/Be-Room-Shrinking-Leading-Purpose/dp/B0FM4HGYSP→ Sign up for a free coaching consultation with Lauren https://www.beintheroomcoaching.com/work-with-lauren Want more Lover? Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcribe →This Changes How You See Avoidantly Attached People ft. Dr. Amir Levine
2w ago00:58:16Tap to summarizeShowing love to our sponsor Arya. You deserve a novelty and pleasure in your intimate, ESPECIALLY in light of Mothers’ Day. Head to https://www.arya.fyi/mothersday to learn more Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults: https://beduc.at/bg2619-boody —————————— How much of your attachment style is actually formed in childhood? In this episode, Shan sits down with renowned psychiatrist and attachment expert Dr. Amir Levine to unpack the myths around attachment theory and why attachment styles are far more flexible than people think. Dr. Levine explores the nuances of anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment, with a specific emphasis on avoidant attachment and the misconceptions surrounding it in modern dating culture. He explains why attachment is better understood as a belief system rather than a fixed diagnosis, revisits the groundbreaking “Strange Situation” experiment developed by Mary Ainsworth, and shares practical tools like the Tennis Wall of Love and the C.A.R.R.P. method to help build healthier, more secure relationships. The conversation also explores how technology and modern communication have completely changed the way we connect, date, and experience intimacy today. Follow Dr. Amir Take his MasterClass on The Science of Connection → https://www.masterclass.com/classes/the-science-of-connection Get His New Book Secure → https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/secure-amir-levine/1148276412 Get His Bestselling Book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love → https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/attached-amir-levine/1102355415 Connect with Dr. Amir → https://amirlevinemd.com Want more Lover? Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcribe →This Kama Sutra Secret About Hands Changes Everything
3w ago00:54:17Tap to summarizeShowing love to our sponsor Biologica. Take their Quick Hormonal Life Stage Quiz to find the formula that’s right for you, and get up to 32% on your purchase: https://biologica.com/lovers Thanks to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this episode. Go to cozyearth.com/LOVERS for up to 20% off! Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults: https://beducate.me/shanboody. —————————— What does the Kama Sutra say about hands? In this episode, Shan sits down with storyteller and pleasure educator Seema Anand to explore one of the most overlooked (and underestimated) tools of intimacy: your hands. Recorded live in London in front of an audience of sex educators and pleasure-positive voices, this conversation focuses on expanding your pleasure potential, with a special emphasis on hand sex, as we celebrate the launch of our brand new Käma jewelry collection, inspired by the Kama Sutra. Seema shares what the Kama Sutra actually teaches about touch, including specific finger combinations, how intention shapes sensation, and why hands play a central role in pleasure. We also explore the connection between the Kama Sutra and lunar phases, rethink the art of foreplay, and touch on the idea of being multi-orgasmic, and what that can look like. 💎 Shop our new KAMA ring collection. Shop the collection: https://surmeyi.com/kama RSVP to our Tell-ALL Part 🎉Tuesday, May 5th at 11AM PST. https://community.loversbyshan.com/c/podcast/tell-all-pleasure-party-w-seema-anand-0454f07b-12ae-40ae-b0e6-1f5a167f721a Watch Seema’s Previous Podcast EpisodesKama Sutra Secrets Every Woman Deserves to Know: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2Pj2rTHLyk The Kama Sutra Secret @SeemaAnandStoryTelling Wants the World to Know About: https://youtu.be/HfrQynAqKjo Follow SeemaGet her book Speak Easy → https://www.amazon.com/Speak-Easy-Filed-Longing-Intimacy/dp/9361319337 Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/seemaanandstorytelling/?hl=enSubscribe to her YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@SeemaAnandStoryTelling Want more Lover? Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcribe →The Year I Decided I’d Never Divorce My Husband
4w ago00:36:35Tap to summarizeSex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults: https://beducate.me/shan2026 —--------- In this episode of Lovers, Jared and I sit down on vacation for a conversation we’ve never had this honestly before. This is our seventh year of marriage, the year people warn you about. The year of the “seven-year itch.” And while we’ve built a life together, kids, history, love, this was the first year I really sat with a truth that surprised even me. For a long time, I wasn’t fully certain we would stay married forever. In this conversation, we talk about what it actually feels like to be years into a relationship, how having children changes the dynamic between partners, and why even strong marriages go through seasons of doubt, distance, and recalibration. We share the fears we had going into year seven, the honest ways our relationship has been tested, and what ultimately shifted for me to say, fully and consciously, that this is the person I’m choosing for life. This episode isn’t about perfect love. It’s about commitment, growth, and what it really takes to stay. If you’ve ever wondered whether your relationship can survive the hard seasons, or questioned what long-term love is supposed to feel like, this conversation is for you. Follow Jared BradyInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbradySubscribe to his YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKVWwEy39GLNzKXXt9v46TA Want more Lover Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newslette Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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I Spent Years Forcing Relationships… Here’s What I Learned ft. Affion Crockett
Apr 1501:03:17Tap to summarizeShout out to the sponsor of this episode Tonal. Right now, Tonal is offering our listeners $200 off your Tonal purchase. Just go to tonal.com and use promo code LOVERS. Big love to the sponsor of this episode, Masterclass. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at https://www.masterclass.com/lovers ——————— In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with Affion Crockett for a conversation about love, timing, and what it really takes to build a relationship that works. Affion is actually part of my own love story. He’s the reason Jared and I met. But in this conversation, we turn the lens on him. Now in his 50s, after years of dating, therapy, and the loss of his father, Affion shares that he finally feels clear on what he’s looking for in a partner, and what he’s no longer willing to force. For a long time, he believed in the idea that if you try hard enough, you can make a relationship work. But watching his father spend years in an unhappy marriage, and ultimately pass away still carrying that weight, changed how he sees love completely. We talk about why some relationships aren’t meant to work no matter how much effort you put in, why “happy wife, happy life” doesn’t always lead to real fulfillment, and what it looks like to pursue a relationship that actually adds to your life instead of draining it. This isn’t a story about giving up on love. It’s about getting honest about what love should feel like, and having the clarity to wait for the right fit. If you’ve ever tried to make something work that just didn’t click, or wondered if it’s too late to find the kind of relationship you really want, this episode is for you. Want to manifest a love that FEELS exactly as you’ve always dreamt it would (in your wildest dreams)? Get specific with that language using our LOVERS feelings wheel + Romantic Wishlist worksheet https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-feelings-wheel---newsletter-subscribers-only Follow Affion CrockettInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/affioncrockett/Watch A Hip-Hop Story Now → https://www.ahiphopstory.com/ Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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The Secret to Attracting a Husband, Not Just a Boyfriend ft. Kamie Crawford
Apr 801:12:01Tap to summarizeThanks to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.squarespace.com/LOVERS for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use CODE: LOVERS to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Sex is a skill, and you can learn how to be the best lover in bed! Join Beducated today at https://beducate.me/loversapril. Lots of love to our sponsor, Quince. Go to Quince.com/LOVERS for free shipping and 365-day returns. ------------------- In this episode of Lovers, Kamie Crawford returns for a third time, and this time, she’s engaged. When Kamie first came on the podcast, she was coming out of a very public breakup and rebuilding her life from the ground up. In her second appearance, she shared a mindset that sparked a lot of conversation: “I’m not a girlfriend, I want to be a wife.” She was dating with intention, holding high standards, and refusing to entertain anything that didn’t align with the life she actually wanted. People had a lot to say. Some called it unrealistic. Others said her standards were too high. Now she’s back, engaged to the love of her life, in a relationship that didn’t just meet her standards but exceeded them. In this conversation, we talk about what it looks like to hold your standards in dating, how to navigate criticism when people tell you you’re asking for too much, and why the language you use around love, marriage, and your future actually shapes what you experience. Kamie shares how she approached dating with intention, why she refused to shrink her desires to be more “realistic,” and what happened when she chose to dream bigger instead. If you’ve ever been told to lower your standards, questioned whether you’re asking for too much, or wondered if holding out for the kind of love you actually want is worth it, this episode is for you.Watch our other interviews with Kamie Crawford on LOVERS:2021: How to Look at a Breakup Differently → https://youtu.be/vSc0hF__y_4?si=E9u8zKsxdCEBbG8r 2023: This is What Happens When a Single Woman Turns 30 → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSc0hF__y_4 Want to manifest a love that FEELS exactly as you’ve always dreamt it would (in your wildest dreams)? Get specific with that language using our LOVERS feelings wheel + Romantic Wishlist worksheet → https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-feelings-wheel---newsletter-subscribers-onlyFollow Kamie CrawfordInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/kamiecrawford/Watch her podcast Relationshipshit → https://www.youtube.com/@relationshitpodWebsite → https://www.kamiecrawford.com/ Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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I Thought I Wanted to Be a Trad Wife… I Was Wrong ft. Lisa Bilyeu
Apr 101:16:41Tap to summarizeThanks to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this episode. Go to cozyearth.com/LOVERS for up to 20% off! Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults: https://beducate.me/lovers. — In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with Lisa Bilyeu to talk about a decision a lot of women think about… but don’t always say out loud: what if you don’t want kids? Lisa is an entrepreneur, co-founder of Quest Nutrition, and founder of Impact Theory Studios. She’s known for building billion-dollar businesses alongside her husband while also speaking openly about identity, marriage, and what it means to choose a life that actually fits you. Lisa built a life that looked like the dream. Marriage, stability, and the role she thought she was supposed to want. For a long time, she even stepped into the idea of being a traditional wife. But over time, something didn’t sit right. What happens when you realize the life you chose doesn’t actually fit you anymore? We talk about what it looked like for Lisa to tell her husband that she didn’t want children, how they navigated being in a marriage where one partner wants kids and the other doesn’t, and why choosing to be child-free doesn’t mean something is missing, broken, or selfish. This conversation challenges the idea that every woman is meant to become a mother, and unpacks the pressure many women feel around motherhood, marriage, and identity. We also explore what it means to redefine a successful relationship on your own terms, whether that includes children or not. If you’ve ever questioned whether motherhood is for you, wondered how to tell your partner you don’t want kids, or felt conflicted about choosing career, independence, or a different kind of life, this episode is for you. EXCLUSIVE LOVERS COMMUNITY RESOURCENeed help starting a difficult conversation? Access our guided journal inside the LOVERS community: → https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/navigating-change-hard-conversations-in-relationships-community-exclusive Follow Lisa Bilyeu → Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/→ Watch & learn on Impact Theory: https://impacttheory.com/→ Explore her personal website: https://lisabilyeu.com/→ Listen to her podcast Women of Impact: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-of-impact/id1435217865→ Get her book Radical Confidence: https://radicalconfidence.com/ Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Why “Normal” Sex Doesn’t Work for Many Black and Brown Women Ft. Aida Mariam Davis
Mar 2500:58:23Tap to summarizeGet $200 off your Tonal purchase! Get a complete gym + a trainer in your home by going to http://tonal.com, then use promo code LOVERS for that big discount.—In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by Aida Mariam Davis, author of Kindred Creation: Parables and Paradigms for Freedom, to explore one question: Is your sex life by design?We unpack the idea that so much of our sexual identity isn’t accidental, it’s constructed. From childhood messaging that disconnects us from our bodies, to adulthood expectations that swing between repression and performance, Aida breaks down how Western culture creates a fragmented relationship with intimacy. The result? A sex life that often feels confusing, isolating, or performative rather than intentional and embodied.Together, we explore what it looks like to reclaim your sexuality on your own terms. Aida shares how her relationship with her husband was rooted in freedom, patience, and self-possession, not pressure or performance, and how that created the foundation for deeper intimacy, trust, and desire.This conversation will challenge what you’ve been taught about sex, and invite you to design something that actually fits you. Resources mentioned→ What If Your Sex Life Is By Design? | Intimate Life Audit: https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/what-if-your-sex-life-is-by-design-intimate-life-audit → A Guide to the Sexual Journey As We Grow: https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/normal-sexual-development-from-0-18 Follow Aida Mariam Davis→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aidamariam/→ Learn more about Decolonize Design: https://www.decolonizedesign.com/ → Get her book Kindred Creation: Parables and Paradigms for Freedom https://rep.club/products/kindred-creation?srsltid=AfmBOor4haNsPUvlYWcMk7oxSWdcmG-yZCTBeLjGtTDoFO_IaJXU_Jwj Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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What Men Actually Think About Before They Propose ft. Mark Manson
Mar 1801:15:56Tap to summarizeHave you taken my MasterClass yet? New subscribers get access to my class and hundreds of others starting at $10 per month. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at http://masterclass.com/lovers ________________________ In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by Mark Manson, the bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope, and Models: Attract Women Through Honesty, to talk about what men actually think about before they propose, and why waiting doesn’t mean what you think it means.Mark shares the story of how he “agonized” over proposing to his now wife of ten years. Despite being deeply in love, he struggled with doubt, timing, and the pressure to feel completely certain. The turning point came during a conversation with his stepmother, who told him she had been married for over thirty years and still couldn’t say with absolute certainty that she “knew” he was the one. That advice freed him from the illusion that certainty is required before commitment.We also unpack my own proposal story with Jared, including the untold truth about the pressure I put on him to propose and what was actually happening behind the scenes. The story I shared online isn’t the full story, and in this episode, we fill in the missing pieces.Lauren Morrison, my sister and the author of Be in the Room, joins as guest host. As a longtime fan of Mark Manson, she helps us dig into the myth of the two-year rule, the idea that if a man hasn’t proposed by a certain timeline, you must not be “the one,” and the false belief that real love comes with instant certainty.This conversation challenges the cultural narrative that a proposal delay reflects doubt about your worth. Instead, it reveals how doubt is often part of the process, not a sign that something is wrong.If you’ve ever wondered what’s taking so long, this episode is for you. Get MasterClass Today For real, what are you waiting for? My class on MasterClass is one of the best things I’ve ever done and I’m sure every other instructor would agree! Go to http://masterclass.com/lovers Get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership Follow Mark Manson → Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson/→ Listen to Mark’s podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/solved-with-mark-manson/id1247526593→ Sign up for Purpose and experience Love Maps: https://purpose.app/ Follow Lauren Morrison → Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachlaurenmorrison/→ Get Lauren’s new book https://www.amazon.com/Be-Room-Shrinking-Leading-Purpose/dp/B0FM4HGYSP→ Sign up for a free coaching consultation with Lauren https://www.beintheroomcoaching.com/work-with-laurenWant more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Are You Nicer to Strangers Than Your Partner ft. DeWanda Wise
Mar 1100:55:39Tap to summarizeThank you to Evvy for sponsoring today’s video! Go to https://evvy.yt.link/v90OvPp and use code LOVERSBYSHAN10 to get 10% off your first purchase (up to $25). ________________________ In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with actor DeWanda Wise to talk about what makes her marriage to actor Alano Miller genuinely healthy, not perfect, not performative, but well-matched. DeWanda and Alano have been married since 2009 after dating for only three months. Now more than 15 years in, they frequently appear together at industry events and continue to build a partnership rooted in intentionality rather than assumption. Alano Miller, known for his roles in Underground and Jane the Virgin, shares a dynamic with DeWanda that is grounded in accountability and mutual respect. One of the most impactful amendments in their marriage came from Christian counseling: don’t treat strangers better than you treat me. They hold each other accountable to extend the same kindness, patience, and curiosity at home that they offer the outside world. When one of them falls short, the response is not immediate condemnation but curiosity and course correction. We explore the delicate balance between accepting your partner and enabling harmful patterns, and what it truly means to be well-suited to love someone as they are. DeWanda challenges the idea that being “too much” is always a flaw, suggesting instead that compatibility determines whether intensity feels overwhelming or perfectly matched. We also draw parallels to parenting, where the tension between letting someone be themselves and shaping them into who we think they should become is ever-present. This conversation ultimately centers on discernment, kindness, and the courage to build a relationship where both partners feel deeply seen and responsibly loved. This episode also features a clip of my upcoming interview with legendary relationship therapists John and Julie Gottman! You can preview this episode inside the LOVERS community only Thanks to our sponsor of this episode Evvy Find out what’s happening with your vaginal health so you can build a care guide based on knowledge vs guess work!Go to https://evvy.yt.link/v90OvPp use code LOVERSBYSHAN10 for 10% off your first purchase (up to $25). Follow DeWanda Wise → Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dewandawise/→ Keep up with her movies and TV appearances: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1986622/Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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