100 Days of Bummer

Summary

Lovett or Leave It: Episode Summary – "100 Days of Bummer"

Host: Jon Lovett
Episode: 100 Days of Bummer
Release Date: May 3, 2025
Podcast: Lovett or Leave It by Crooked Media

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Introduction

In the "100 Days of Bummer" episode of Lovett or Leave It, host Jon Lovett delves into the tumultuous first 100 days of Donald Trump's presidency. Combining sharp political analysis with humor, Lovett dissects Trump's policies, public interactions, and the broader implications for American politics. The episode features guest appearances from comedian Edie Patterson, along with comedic exchanges involving impressions of political figures such as Gretchen Whitmer and Kamala Harris.

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Trump’s 100 Days in Office

Jon Lovett opens the episode by reflecting on the completion of Trump's first 100 days in office. He navigates through Trump's actions and public statements, highlighting the contentious nature of his presidency.

• Key Discussion:

  • Trump's visit to Michigan and his comments about the Great Lakes.

• Notable Quote:

  [00:00] Jon Lovett: "Donald Trump headed to Michigan. Brave of our big boy to show his face in Michigan after saying this about the Great Lakes."

  [02:30] Donald Trump: "I assume the lakes are all interconnected, right?"

  Lovett humorously critiques Trump's misunderstanding of basic geography, emphasizing the absurdity of certain presidential remarks.

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Immigration and Deportations

A significant portion of the episode scrutinizes Trump's immigration policies, particularly the deportation of children who are U.S. citizens.

• Key Points:

  • Trump's administration deported three children to Honduras, including a four-year-old with metastatic cancer.
  • A Trump-appointed judge ruled that due process may have been violated.

• Notable Quote:

  [05:50] Jon Lovett: "People did sign up for it. Voting for Trump is like clicking 'I agree' on a one-month free trial for Disney Plus. It's all fun and games until year seven."

  Lovett draws parallels between unsuspecting voters and consumers falling prey to misleading terms and conditions, underscoring the gravity of deporting American children.

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Tariffs and Trade Policies

Lovett examines Trump's approach to tariffs, particularly their impact on businesses like Amazon and broader economic implications.

• Key Points:

  • Amazon's report displaying the cost of tariffs on products.
  • Jeff Bezos' interactions with Trump, including a humorous exchange about solving problems quickly.

• Notable Quote:

  [11:09] Donald Trump: "Jeff Bezos was very nice. He was terrific. He solved the problem very quickly and he did the right thing. And he's a good guy."

  Lovett mocks Trump's simplistic praise of Bezos, highlighting the superficial nature of such public commendations.

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Cabinet and Staff Shake-Ups

The episode delves into internal changes within Trump's administration, focusing on the ousting of National Security Advisor Mike Waltz.

• Key Points:

  • Mike Waltz's removal and subsequent nomination as Ambassador to the UN.
  • Marco Rubio's temporary role as National Security Advisor while continuing his duties as Secretary of State.

• Notable Quote:

  [19:43] Gretchen Whitmer: "He says that in the interim Secretary of State, Marco Rubio will serve as National Security Advisor while continuing his strong leadership at the State Department."

  Lovett sarcastically comments on the confusion and lack of clarity surrounding these appointments, portraying the administration as disorganized.

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International Relations and Diplomacy

Trump's interactions on the international stage, including his meeting with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, are analyzed.

• Key Points:

  • Trump's changed perspective on Vladimir Putin's motives following recent missile attacks.
  • Speculations about Trump's rapport with foreign leaders and the implications for global politics.

• Notable Quote:

  [16:57] Donald Trump: "I hate to say it, but maybe the Pope should die more often... had I Russiaed into this relationship?"

  Lovett uses Trump's flippant remarks to illustrate the unpredictable nature of his foreign policy statements.

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Defense Policies and Women Peace Initiatives

A critical look at Trump's decision to terminate the Women Peace and Security Program, aimed at increasing women's participation in national security.

• Key Points:

  • Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth's justification for ending the program.
  • Lovett points out the irony of cutting initiatives that promote diversity and inclusion.

• Notable Quote:

  [13:56] Gretchen Whitmer: "President, your first 100 days have far exceeded that of any other presidency in this country. Ever."

  Lovett uses this over-the-top praise to highlight the lack of substantive achievements in the administration's policies.

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Gen Z and Political Engagement

Lovett and guests discuss the political inclinations of Generation Z, particularly their stance towards Trump and conservative politics.

• Key Points:

  • Polls indicating young people's disillusionment with Trump despite being labeled as a more conservative generation.
  • The challenges of engaging younger voters in the current political climate.

• Notable Quote:

  [57:15] Jon Lovett: "I love that your shirt says barf. Sometimes I'll have tuna and I'll have not finished my coffee, but I'll pull out a Diet Coke, because that's what you need."

  This exchange satirizes the generational gap and the trivial concerns overshadowing significant political discourse.

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Comedy and Guest Interactions

The episode features interactions with guests like Edie Patterson, Gretchen Whitmer, and impersonations of Kamala Harris and others, blending political satire with comedic elements.

• Key Segments:

  • "Spin and Bear It": Guests provide humorous twists on recent news stories, highlighting the absurdity of current events.

    • Notable Quote:

      [41:07] Gretchen Whitmer: "Everyone's crazy about Ozempic, Wegovy, you name it. But all you have to do is really just eat your lunch the way you would eat your lunch..."

  • "Tariff Only": A segment where guests suggest items to impose tariffs on, using humor to critique overregulation.

    • Notable Quote:

      [76:30] Kamala Harris: "I think that we should put a tariff on Art of Animals portrayed in a bad light. I can't see a dog smoking."

  These segments underscore the podcast's blend of humor and sharp political commentary.

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Closing Remarks and Future Episodes

Jon Lovett wraps up the episode by teasing upcoming segments and guest appearances, maintaining the show's signature blend of humor and political critique.

• Key Points:

  • Announcement of future guest comedians like Sarah Silverman and Lamorne Morris.
  • Promotion of subscription services and exclusive content for listeners.

• Notable Quote:

  [81:42] John Lovett: "We got to get people back into the pews. We gotta get people. These should be saints."

  Lovett humorously emphasizes the need for unity and support within the community amidst political chaos.

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Conclusion

"100 Days of Bummer" offers a comprehensive and humorous examination of Donald Trump's early presidency, interwoven with comedic segments and insightful political analysis. Jon Lovett effectively captures the frustrations and absurdities of the current political landscape, providing listeners with both laughter and substantial commentary. The episode serves as a reflection on the challenges facing American politics, the impact of Trump's policies, and the evolving dynamics of political engagement across generations.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• [02:30] Donald Trump: "I assume the lakes are all interconnected, right?"
• [05:50] Jon Lovett: "People did sign up for it. Voting for Trump is like clicking 'I agree' on a one-month free trial for Disney Plus."
• [11:09] Donald Trump: "Jeff Bezos was very nice. He was terrific. He solved the problem very quickly and he did the right thing. And he's a good guy."
• [19:43] Gretchen Whitmer: "Secretary of State, Marco Rubio will serve as National Security Advisor while continuing his strong leadership at the State Department."
• [41:07] Gretchen Whitmer: "Everyone's crazy about Ozempic, Wegovy, you name it..."
• [76:30] Kamala Harris: "I think that we should put a tariff on Art of Animals portrayed in a bad light."

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This summary encapsulates the essence of the "100 Days of Bummer" episode, providing a clear and engaging overview for those who haven't listened to the episode while retaining critical commentary and humor characteristic of Lovett or Leave It.

Transcript

[John Lovett]

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[Donald Trump]

I assume the lakes are all interconnected, right?

[John Lovett]

And they are. Yeah. They are stupid. We know they are. They are. Obviously they are and we knew that. It's a stupid question. Michigan governor and former presidential hopeful Gretchen Whitmer greeted Trump warmly on the tarmac at the Selfridge Air National Guard base. Hands touched. Shoulder. Shoulder. That's a hug. Big Gretsch joins a rich history of women who didn't really want to hug Donald Trump. After praising Whitmer at the event, Trump unexpectedly threw to Big Gretsch to share some remarks.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Well, I hadn't planned to speak, but on behalf of all the military men and women who serve our country and serve so honorably on behalf of the state of Michigan, I am really damn happy we're here to celebrate this recapitalization at Selfridge. So thank you. I am so, so grateful that this announcement was made today and I appreciate all the work.

[John Lovett]

Thank you. That pause is incredible. She turns back toward Donald Trump as if on some level she hopes someone else will be there. Like Joe Biden or John Wayne Gacy or anybody. I'll hug him, but I draw the line at saying his name. You can't use the passive voice after an active hug. There's no getting around it. In a hug, the subject acts upon the object. Trump also sat down for an interview with ABC News Terry Moran. To mark the first 100 days and some people who voted for you saying, I didn't sign up for this. So how do you answer those concerns?

[Donald Trump]

Well, they did sign up for it. Actually, you know what?

[John Lovett]

What? He's right. He's fucking right. People did sign up for it. Voting for Trump is like clicking. I have read the terms and conditions on a one month free trial for Disney Plus. It's all fun and games until it's year seven and they're saying it's legally your fault. You got the threatening food poisoning from a Ronto rap at Star Wars Galaxy's Edge. Speaking of making you sick, the Trump administration last week deported three children who are US Citizens to Honduras, along with their mothers, including a four year old being treated for metastatic cancer. Oh, so Trump is bringing down American cancer rates and you're mad? A Trump appointed judge agreed that due process seems to have been violated. And lawyers for the two families said that the mothers were not given the option to to leave their American children in the US before they were put on a plane. Disgusting. Even the Nazis gave Sophie, a choice. You know, the news is what it is. We go to war every week with the news we have. Meanwhile, back in D.C. trump's staff decorated the White House lawn with around 100 posters featuring mugshots of immigrants, which is pretty embarrassing, putting up your Easter decorations a full week late. But sure. Speaking of bringing someone back, after weeks of saying they couldn't secure the release of Kilmar Abrego Garcia, Trump told ABC News the opposite. There's a phone on this desk.

[Donald Trump]

I could.

[John Lovett]

You could pick it up, and with all the power of the presidency, you could call up the president of El Salvador and say, send him back right now.

[Donald Trump]

And if he were the gentleman that you say he is, I would do that.

[John Lovett]

But the court has ordered you. Trump's ego won't let him say that there's any area where he's powerless, and that's how we get this guy out of there. Democrats need to get in front of cameras and say over and over, I actually don't think Trump can get Abrego Garcia back. I don't think he's strong and powerful enough. Over and over and over. Just can't do it. His arms aren't strong enough. His dick isn't big enough. Can't be done. This is barely a joke. It's just a sincere messaging suggestion. Trump also got into an argument with Moran about Abrego Garcia's tattoos, claiming the maryland man had ms.13 literally tattooed on his knuckles, when in fact, the Trump administration photoshopped MS.13 onto a photo of Abrego Garcia to use as a prop.

[Donald Trump]

He wasn't a member of a gang. And then they looked, and on his knuckles, he had MS.13.

[John Lovett]

There's a dispute.

[Donald Trump]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. He had MS.13 on his knuckles.

[John Lovett]

He had some tattoos that are interpreted that way, but let's move on.

[Donald Trump]

Wait a minute. They tear it.

[John Lovett]

Terry, he did not have the letter MS.13.

[Donald Trump]

It says MS.13.

[John Lovett]

That was photoshopped. So let me just.

[Donald Trump]

That was Photoshopped, Terry. You can't do that. Hey, they're giving you the big break of a lifetime. You know, you're doing the interview. I picked you because, frankly, I never heard of you. But that's okay.

[John Lovett]

I picked you because I never heard of you, but that's okay. There are times when Trump is obviously lying, but in this instance, I believe he genuinely fell for his own edited photo. Our big dumb boy covered a toilet in Saran Wrap, turned, walked back in, and sat down to take a shit. Here's the photo Trump is referring to. Now, if you see look at it, you can see that it has MS.13 digitally added to the image hovering above Abrego Garcia's actual knuckle tattoos, which are a marijuana leaf, a smiley face with crossed out eyes, a cross and a skull. The actual meaning of those, they're claiming that definitely means he's part of MS.13. That's obviously in dispute. The MS.13 was not added to the photo to trick anybody, but it tricked Trump. They weren't even trying to make a deceptive Photoshop. It's just there to make the case that the tattoos are a form of a pictogram. It's like if he met Meryl Streep and asked what happened to her Getty Images tattoo. During Trump's televised cabinet meeting on Wednesday, Marco Rubio snapped at a reporter for asking about Abrego Garcia.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

You brought up El Salvador in your remarks. Have you been in touch with El Salvador about returning Abrego Garcia as a formal request from this administration?

[John Lovett]

Well, I would never tell you that. And you know who else I'll never tell? A Judge Rubio, like all Trump appointees, had to attend the pissy little bitch school of American diplomacy. But it was actually a Trump judge on Thursday who shut down any deportations being carried out under the Alien Enemies Act. So miss us with your snide little remarcos. Also this week, the sub dom romance between Jeff Bezos and Donald Trump seemed briefly imperiled. Sorry for putting that image in your head. Now you won't be able to unsee it. Now please switch their positions. Can't unsee that either. Now switch them back. First. Punchbowl News reported that Amazon would start displaying how much of a product's total cost was the result of Trump's tariffs. Consumers would see that they were paying the tariffs rather than China, as Trump had long promised. Kind of a cool move. Doesn't sound like them, of course. A slippery slope. I don't think we actually want to know the detailed cost breakdown of the unholy global mechanism by which basically any household item is delivered to us inside of 24 hours. However, it happens that I can order vegan protein powder, a new pair of dress sneakers, and a book on relationships recommended to me by my lawyer before I go to bed and it's waiting for me in the vestibule of a bank near my house by morning. Whatever the taxes, tariffs, fuel costs, urine bottle disposal fees that make it possible, I know it's in defiance of God's will. I know I'll have to answer for it in this life or the next. What is the tariff to cross the gates of heaven? Jeff Bezos asks Lauren Sanchez late one night. Or is it hell where you arrive just in time? But she can't hear him because she's wearing her red light helmet. Sad. It's having a genuine moment, but she's in the red light helmet. White House Press secretary Caroline Levitt reacted to the report at her press briefing that morning, saying this.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

This is a hostile and political act by Amazon.

[John Lovett]

Kind of a cool move. Doesn't sound like them. After Bezos spoke to Trump on the phone, which was actually before the White House press secretary's comment, believe it or not, an Amazon spokesperson denied that the company ever planned to display tariff costs, saying that only Amazon hall storefront, its new discount. Shein competitor, considered the idea, which was never approved and is not going to happen Now. That sounds like them. By Tuesday afternoon, Trump was patting Bezos on his shiny bald head.

[Donald Trump]

Great. Jeff Bezos was very nice. He was terrific. He solved the problem very quickly and he did the right thing. And he's a good guy.

[John Lovett]

Great guy, Jeff Bezos. He did a great job. Not a lot of teeth. Sometimes there's teeth when you don't want teeth, but not with Jeff. He did a great job. Yeah. In other oligarch news, here's Elon Musk doing one of his famous comedy bits at Wednesday's Cabinet meeting.

[Donald Trump]

Elon, I love the double hat, by the way. He's the only one that can do that, get away with it.

[Terry Moran]

Well, Mr. President, you know, they say.

[John Lovett]

I wear a lot of hats. That's true. Even my hat has a hat. So fucking so unfunny. What have I done? So unfunny. Makes me so. Oh, no. Bennett's White House. For those listening, I destroyed the White House that we claimed to be made by my nephew Bennett. Part of a setup that began at the very beginning of tonight's show. And you can see it if you go to Love it or leave. It's YouTube and subscribe. You gotta subscribe to our YouTube. During that meeting, Trump addressed the prospect of tariffs, disrupting supply chains and raising consumer prices.

[Donald Trump]

Somebody said, oh, the shelves are going to be open. Well, maybe the children will have two dolls instead of 30 dolls, you know, and maybe the two dolls will cost a couple of bucks more.

[John Lovett]

Simply ask the child, does the doll spark? Joy. Look, as always, Donald Trump is so wise. We are too materialistic. And Trump has always said this. Don't worry, I'll talk to him. Said eric, addressing his 30 sex dolls. But of course you like the filthy stuff. It's a freaky crowd tonight. You're a bunch of sick little creeps. Anything sexual you're really going for. You're really enjoying it. Sick. But of course, Trump's cronies ate it up, turning the week's cabinet meeting into a round of spin the bottle for Trump's ass. See what I mean? Here's Attorney General Pam Bondi praising her boss. President.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

President, your first 100 days has far exceeded that of any other presidency in this country. Ever. Ever. Never seen anything like it. Thank you.

[John Lovett]

How did you make president sound like daddy? Bondi also claimed Trump seized on so much fentanyl in the last 100 days, he saved 75% of the country's population from overdosing 3,400 kilos of fentanyl.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Since you've been your last hundred days, which saved. Are you ready for this? Media? 258 million lives. Kids are dying every day because they're taking this junk.

[John Lovett]

Are you ready for this Media? Under Joe Biden, everyone in America died. And now we're alive again, thanks to you, President. But no one said it quite like Interior Secretary Doug Burgum. President Trump, in your first term, when I had a chance to work with you as governor, you were courageous. The thing that's empowering this amazing group of people around this table, and you've probably assembled the greatest cabinet ever, is that this time you're not just courageous, you're actually fearless. They say the best organizations are one where the boss receives only endless praise from the people who work for him. That that leads to great outcomes. Isn't that right, Hallie?

[Kamala Harris]

Exactly, boss.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Hope your arms aren't too tired from.

[John Lovett]

Hitting it out of the park on Tuesday. That's right. On Tuesday, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced that he had proudly terminated the Women Peace and Security Program, an initiative aimed at increasing women's participation in national security. Explained to visibly drunk Pete Hegseth. You know what they say in dating women. Piece of security. Pick two, wrote Hegseth on X WPS is yet another woke divisive social justice Biden initiative that overburdens our commanders and troops, distracting from our core task war fighting. You know how it is. Women be like. Enough about IEDs. Let's talk about my IUD. Enough about IEDs. IUDs IED. IUD. I think the emphasis would have really. I think that. Because I see what that's on me. That's not your fault. Except whoops the bill establishing that program was co sponsored by then House member Kristi Noem and then Senator Marco Rubio, both now Trump Cabinet officials, and it was signed into law in 2017 by Donald Trump himself. It does sound like us though. You can see how we got there. This week, the US And Ukraine signed a deal that gives America access to Ukraine's resources. This came after Trump met briefly with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy in Rome before the Pope's funeral on Sunday. After the meeting, Trump seemed to have a new perspective on Vladimir Putin's motives. I hate to say it, but but maybe the Pope should die more often, wrote Trump on Truth Social There was no reason for Putin to be shooting missiles into civilian areas, cities and towns over the last few days. It makes me think that maybe he doesn't want to stop the war. He's just tapping me along and has to be dealt with differently, continued Trump. I couldn't help but wonder, had I Russiaed into this relationship? Terrific. Speaking of rushing, Kamala Harris gave her first major public speech since the election, where she offered her thoughts on Trump's first 100 days.

[Kamala Harris]

This country is ours. It doesn't belong to whoever is in the White House.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

It belongs to you.

[John Lovett]

It belongs to us.

[Kamala Harris]

It belongs to to we the people.

[John Lovett]

Hey, thanks. I don't know. To be honest, the speech was pretty disappointing. It was 15 minutes, which should be plenty of time to say something of note. But you talked about showing courage without mentioning immigration. People are asking each other all the time, who are the leaders? Where are the leaders? Who is the future of the party? And the answer is that it's not just that we don't know. It's that we can't know because those leaders will be the product of this moment. Some people will be forged by it, some people will melt in it. Gretch hugged Trump. Gavin's doing a podcast. AOC and Bernie are rallying people to the fight. Cory is holding the floor. Others are heading to El Salvador, challenging the administration, Ringing the alarm. Kamala delivered her first big speech in months, and she didn't have much to say. And that's the truth. And if I wanted to listen to Kamala give boring speeches, I'd have voted for her. Trump has reportedly decided to remove National Security Advisor Mike Waltz, as well as his deputy. Well, it looks like I'll be home from work early. Waltz texted his wife and the Atlantic's Jeffrey Goldberg. The ousting of the Houthi PC Small Group chat creator would mark the first major Staff shakeup of Trump's second term. Far right conspiracy theorist Laura Loomer took credit for Waltz's outser sending reporters a one word text. Loomer, ed. But then in a Thursday Truth social post, Trump announced that he would be nominating Waltz to be Ambassador to the UN And Marco Rubio would temporarily serve as National Security Advisor in addition to being Secretary of State, which State Department spokesperson Tammy Bruce learned from a reporter during the briefing.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

He says that in the interim Secretary of State, Marco Rubio will serve as National Security Advisor while continuing his strong leadership at the State Department. Do you know how long he's going to be serving in both roles? It is clear that I just heard this from. I had. I. This is the magic. No heads up that this will happen. Well, I have some insights as to the potential of certain things that might happen.

[John Lovett]

That's the magic. The magic of Trump, the magic of not having any fucking idea what is happening. And then they're trying to save it by saying, well, I had certain potentialities and I was obviously made aware. I'm a serious problem. I'm a senior person here at the State Department, so if it turns out that I don't know what the fuck is going on, maybe you might not take me as seriously from this podium, which obviously can't be the case. Even though I'm learning about the fact that my boss has taken a second job. It's actually his, I think, fourth job because he's also acting USAID administrator and I believe also has some kind of role in the National Archives. He's some sort of archivist. So good for him. Marco Rubio really crushing it. That painting in his attic of a Marco Rubio who's happy, uh, getting happier. It doesn't really make sense. Pictures should be getting worse, but he's getting worse in real life. I'm not sure what's happening to the painting. Something to think about. I'll ask ChatGPT later. Maybe it'll know I've talked so long that this joke won't make any sense. Ousting will. Ousting Waltz from the NSA job couldn't come soon enough as he was caught during the Cabinet meeting, once again using signal on his phone. This is real. During the Cabinet meeting, you can see he has a text from JD Vance. He has a text with Marco Rubio. The chat with Marco Rubio just says the phrase, hopefully there's time. Hopefully there's nothing. No idea what it's about. Trump spoke at a National Day of Prayer event at the White House on Thursday and took a moment to plug his budget.

[Donald Trump]

Bill doesn't pass, your taxes are going to go up 68%. So think of it. 68. And this is a religious ceremony to me, but that's part of the religion, because if your taxes go up 68%, you might give up your religion.

[John Lovett]

That's a good joke. That's a good joke. That's a good joke. Good for our big boy. Trump also had this to say about his faith advisors.

[Donald Trump]

You know, they work right out of the White House. They've never done that. That's never been done before. No other president allowed that, I think. You know, they say separation. They say separation between church and state. They told me. I said, all right, let's forget about that. For one time.

[John Lovett]

The they was Thomas Jefferson. For the record, this has to be the first ethnostate where the head of it could not give less of a fuck about religion. He's like, all hail Jesus or whatever. Paula, can you take this one? I gotta go convince some Qataris to buy my Internet baseball cards. Eric told me about another banger, sir.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

They'll find that ball in the parking lot.

[Kamala Harris]

Ha ha.

[John Lovett]

Thanks, Allie. Keeps me honest. Trump's tariffs and musings about making Canada the 51st state led to a liberal victory in the Canadian elections. Here's Canada's new Prime Minister, Mark Carney. As I've been warning for months, America wants our land, our resources, our water, our country. Never. But these are not. These are not idle threats. President Trump is trying to break us so that America can own us. That will never. That will never, ever happen. So, yeah, so, yeah, let's. First of all, it's like, God damn it, we're the fucking evil empire on their southern border that they're gonna have to like. We're gonna start doing, like, the kind of dance that you see between India and Pakistan, you know, that. That dance along the border. We're gonna start having a fucking border dance now. The fucking Canadians. We're the villains. I know often we have been, but we like to pretend it wasn't true. This is crazy. You know, we used to be embarrassed about our coups. You know, people would talk about me. Shut up about that. Let's trim this down. It's so weird when a Canadian talks tough like this. It's like seeing a deer with a tattoo. And finally, a seaside Belgian town hosted its fifth annual seagull screeching contest. And here's this year's winner. Their prize, one potato chip that fell in the sand.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Best monologue of all.

[John Lovett]

Up next, Edie Patterson gives the news a twirl. We'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave It Coming up. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Prolon. Are you considering changing up your health routine? Do you find yourself saying I want to lose weight or I want to be healthier, but nothing really sticks? Then you need Prolon's five day fasting mimicking diet program. And now Prolon has upped the game with Next gen, packing the same science backed benefits into a cleaner, more convenient and tastier format. Prolon is a plant based nutrition program featuring soups, snacks and beverages designed to nourish the body while keeping it in a fasting state, triggering cellular rejuvenation and renewal. Next Gen builds on the Original Prolon with 100 organic soups and teas, a richer taste and ready to eat meals. With Prolon Next gen you get everything you need prepackaged. You're ready to go. Each order of Prolon's five day program comes with five boxes labeled by day so you know what to eat each day. Develop over decades at USC's Longevity Institute and backed by US medical centers, Prolon has been shown to support biological age reduction, metabolic health, skin appearance, fat loss and energy. To help you jumpstart a plan that delivers real results, Prolon is offering Love it or leave it listeners an exclusive chance to be among the first to try next gen with 15% off site wide plus a $40 bonus gift. When you subscribe to their five day program, just visit prolonlife.com Love it. That's P R O L O N l I f e.com love it. To claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift prolonged life.com love it.

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With a home equity investment from home tab you get access to your home equity in cash without monthly payments to use for whatever you'd like from paying off debt to making renovations or handling emergency expenses. Receive your funds in just a few weeks, start pursuing your financial goals and start getting more out of life. See if you pre qualify for an [e-mail] septu to eligibility terms and conditions apply. That's hometap.com.

[John Lovett]

And we're back. Please welcome to the stage. She plays a TV sister I love more than my own. That stinks. Ah, she doesn't listen. But no, she will because of the whole Bennett thing. I'm fucked. Please welcome the uproarious Edie Patterson. Hi welcome. Thank you for being Here. Thanks for having me.

[Kamala Harris]

Hi.

[John Lovett]

Hi. Come right here. Good to see you.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Good to see you. Hi.

[John Lovett]

You're currently on the Righteous Gemstones.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

That's right.

[John Lovett]

Skewering a family of obscenely rich evangelicals wracked by greed, jealousy, a lust for power. Bunch of phonies. If Trump watched the show, do you think he'd get it?

[Gretchen Whitmer]

I don't, actually. I don't think you would get it.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Why not? I don't think. Yeah. He might not see the irony in it.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't think he would.

[John Lovett]

That's too bad.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Well, you know what? It's not for him.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

It's not for him. In fact, don't watch it.

[John Lovett]

Or maybe he'd be just jealous of the wigs.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Jealous of the wigs? Yeah, he would be jealous of the wigs for sure. There's good wigs.

[John Lovett]

I want to talk to you about this headline I saw about your portrayal of Judy Gemstone.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

The deeply normal person behind TV's most insane maniac.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

You know that one? That one was surprising to me. This is a very nice article, but I was like, huh. Deeply normal. I don't know if I've ever been called that.

[John Lovett]

You don't think of yourself as. I don't know what is normal?

[Gretchen Whitmer]

I don't know. I think maybe what this person meant was, like, somewhat nice.

[John Lovett]

Oh, right.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

You know what I mean? Cause I was nice and happy to talk to him.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. I know Matt. I've been on Matt's show. He's never called me normal. I've been nice.

[Kamala Harris]

Huh.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Okay. Well, I don't know what his criteria.

[John Lovett]

Was then, but you also have a trick you use to combat stage fright, which is something you tell yourself.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

And I think it might be a useful tip for people.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. If. If I am doing something and, like, the fear creeps in, I just. I. I have to get myself all the way down the road to remembering that we're all gonna die, and. And then I have to go even a step further and go. And none of us know when. And I could. It could be tonight for me, so I might as well fucking let it rip.

[John Lovett]

Wow.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

But I do have to go all the way to, like, we're all gonna die someday. And then I've since found out, oh, that was a thing. Maybe in the twenties. It was like. That was a cool mindset. And they would have, like, jewelry with, like, memento mori on it, like, skulls and things. Oh. And the whole vibe was like. Was that like, hey, we're all gonna die. Let's party.

[John Lovett]

Maybe it's a bit of a kind of post Spanish flu, World War I ethos. Maybe something we could use right now, you know, like, maybe that's because we're still kind of. We all are. We had a, you know, a trauma globally. Yeah. And we all know that it had a profound effect on us, but we have trouble describing it. And then everyone's just a bit meaner when they drive.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Yep. Yeah. You know, A bit meaner when they drive. Or like, you can't. You keep waking up when you should be asleep.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Or like you. You feel like, worried about things that are maybe normal or just like weird things. I don't know. I'll find like, the anxiety pops up in the weirdest way. I'll like wake up in the middle of the night and go like, was I. Was I a bad friend in eighth grade or. You know what I mean? Just weird shit. Well, you were the problem. Well, probably.

[John Lovett]

I told.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Honestly though, I was pretty nice.

[John Lovett]

You are. Yeah, you were nice.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

So maybe he was right.

[John Lovett]

I didn't have a lot of friends in eighth grade. I now become obsessed. I'd become a meticulous researcher that, like that. That my way of escaping the news is the deepest amount of. Like, I will. This is going to. This is so bougie and gay. I'll just.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Let's get into it.

[John Lovett]

I will. When I say that, like, if you tried to show me a dessert plate that exists on the Internet, be like, who do you think you're fucking talking to? I obviously know that dessert plate. I considered it on my fucking vision board for this table and it didn't fit with the color scheme. Look at the color scheme. Look at it. Do you see pastels? No. You see a rich, warm color scape, you dumb motherfucker.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

So that's what you're researching, is dessert plates?

[John Lovett]

Just crazy specific tiny items. Like, I needed Pilates socks.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Okay, I'm. I'm listening. So you went.

[John Lovett]

So many tabs. So many tabs. And at some point I just. It's like 1:30 in the morning.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

We've got Love it or Leave it the next day.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Y. I went down that hole once for Pilates socks.

[John Lovett]

Oh, yeah.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

And there's like a 15 pack on Amazon that has cool like, 70s stripes.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I know.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

It got those.

[John Lovett]

I consider that one. You're doing a one person improv show at the Groundlings theater next week.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Yeah, that's right.

[John Lovett]

Wow. I interviewed Josh Gad, who I made a show with many years ago about his book. And he. And he was pretty frustrated with the experience. Cause he wrote a whole book about his career and I didn't mention Olaf even one time. I focused mostly on. He plays Olaf in Frozen. That's a big success for him. I really focused on his early failures because he wants to hear about success. Oh, wow, you're Olaf. Great. That's awesome. Love that. For you, it's cool.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

But that's going great. Did you make a ton of money?

[John Lovett]

And so I was like. So he was a. He went to. He was in the Groundlings, but he didn't get graduated up.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

I think he was. He was in the school at some point.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. But they didn't move him up. No, they said off.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Yeah, right.

[John Lovett]

You graduated.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Yeah. I'm like, I'm a main company alum.

[John Lovett]

Wow.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

But there's so.

[John Lovett]

You must be so much funnier than him. I'm so dead.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

All right, let's talk about my animated franchise. Yeah. I don't think it means that, but. But yeah, he. I think he was in the school at some point, but not. Not when I was there.

[John Lovett]

So you're an improviser. We were talking backstage about. About how much you want to improvise in circumstances that are scripted and like, what's that like?

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Well, when something's scripted and I know it's scripted and everyone else knows it's scripted, that's awesome. But like, that's just regular an acting job. And then usually, like with my show, we would do everything as scripted. I'm a writer on the show as well. We would do everything as scripted. But then when we got it, when we knew we had it, then we would get permission to sort of improvise and find what's there. And that's always like my full on, dreamy happy place. But if I. If something kind of. What we were talking about is if something is passing itself off, as this is all improvised, but it's actually very strictly written. It takes me to like a uncanny valley in my head and I like. My brain sort of breaks.

[John Lovett]

Can I ask you a very. Maybe this is too technical question, but if you are improvising.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Are you ever sort of like, oh, we found something really great when we were shooting. So you're shooting in both directions. Do you ever say, oh, you know what? Don't forget we found something so fucking funny that I said we were shooting you. When we come around, let's make sure we get at the other direction. So we have both ways. Or are you just. Is it Just like you're. Whatever you find, you find. If you didn't get it, you didn't get it.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

You know what? That's usually my take is like, we're going to find what we find. But if there was something that seemed to bubble up that seemed true and right. Usually the director will tell you, like, hey, make sure we get that because.

[John Lovett]

It was so good. Yeah.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Or it just was.

[John Lovett]

Right now, obviously, we all are watching every great scripted show on. I believe it's called Max now. But what is. Here's the thing. Everybody was like that HBO brand. Pu.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Pu.

[John Lovett]

What we want is half of the word cinematics. Yeah, yeah.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Come on. Like, the thing that all of us felt like was cool and, like, had a cool intro and is kind of in all of our kid brains as, like, prestige. Awesome. Oh, let's take that all the way away.

[John Lovett]

Right? Remember. Remember that. Remember that animated thing where you would go through the city and the starry night and it end up and it would say, Max?

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Huh?

[John Lovett]

Remember that? Wait, but what are your, like, unscripted reality shows?

[Gretchen Whitmer]

My biggest right now is Love on the Spectrum. Without a doubt.

[John Lovett]

I didn't watch the new season. I love. I love them.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Me too.

[John Lovett]

I love them.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

So you've seen all the seasons.

[John Lovett]

I haven't caught up to this most recent season, but I'm fully watched up to. And like, my last. I watched the safari trip. That's my last experience.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Oh, man. Get ready. This season is the best yet.

[John Lovett]

There's a sentence that one of the characters says which is just a reminder of why the show is so amazing. Cause it's this perspective that's so useful to see and understand and appreciate. But she says that's interesting, but I'm not interested.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Yeah, yeah. It's so awesome.

[John Lovett]

What you're saying is interesting, but I'm not interested.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

It's so awesome.

[John Lovett]

What could it mean? Let it soak in. It's beautiful. It's beautiful.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

It's just like. Yeah, it's almost like a way more eloquent and beautiful. Agree to disagree. It's like, yeah, you have worth. I see what you're saying is intelligent and. Or fascinating and. Or colorful. It's not landing on me in any way.

[John Lovett]

Right. It's not a. My not being interested is no reflection on you. It's a reflection on me. And that's okay.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Oh, it's the best. The way they talk that way on their dates, the fact that they just out and out will go. I don't think we have it like that. But we'd like to be friends. And then they learn things for, like, if you kind of never want to see the person again, you just go like, it was really nice to meet you. The fact that they just do it and that there's no. It's not ever going to land on someone wrong because they're just saying the truth.

[John Lovett]

Well, that's what I. What I think when I see those early dates is. Oh, actually, what. What neurotypical people do is spend months, if not years, getting to the place of trust where they can be as honest as these people are on their first date. I was out to dinner once on a date with someone I'd been seeing for a while, and all of a sudden I was hit with an incredible panic attack. And I said, I just realized I need to go home and write an apology email. Just got up and walked out of that Korean barbecue restaurant. Yeah, Yeah, I could be on there. There could be. There are shows that make less sense for me to be on same.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

So you've seen the other seasons. You know James with the hair, Incredible. There's an earlier season where he, like, can't find his keys or something, and he's just got such awesome and immediate and visible overwhelm sometimes. And there's so many noises that go with it. And, like, I have less noises and stuff, but, like, my anger spikes just as high and my overwhelm spikes just as high. I was watching him have that sort of like a little bit of a breakdown in a previous season. My mom was with me and I paused it and I was like, did you ever wonder, like, just for me, and I want you to tell me, did you ever wonder, like, maybe I'm somewhere on. And she said, no, she didn't. But I. I do find a lot of commonalities.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. My mother always used to say that I'd either be incredibly successful or live at home, and there was no in between.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

And by the way, she saw both. Now, Judy Gemstone is a towering pillar of unearned confidence, an unquenchable flame of delusional self conviction, a woman of completely baseless faith. So she's honestly the perfect person to survive living in America right now. Now, we wanted to ask you to embody that energy in a segment we're calling Spin and Bear It, AKA seven deadly Spins.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Ooh, I like us. I like us there.

[John Lovett]

Wow. I like how I look in that. Damn it.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

All right, me too.

[John Lovett]

So we're gonna give you some recent news stories, and your job is to give us the Spin the bright side, the silver lining. Here we go. First up, the agricultural department announced they will yank a rule limiting the amount of salmonella in the nation's raw poultry. The Biden era plan was intended to reduce the estimated 125,000 Salmonella infections from chicken and 43,000 from Turkey that Americans contract each year.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Hey, guys, here's the thing. Everyone's crazy about Ozempic, Wegovy, you name it. But all you have to do is really just eat your lunch the way you would eat your lunch, have a chicken sandwich, have your holiday meals and just. If you end up barfing your brains out for a good month, then the government has done you a favor. Check, please.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. That's such an important point. Salmonella was the semaglutide.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Of our ancestors. That's right. It's the ancient way. It's the ancient way. All right, next up, the Department of Health and Human Services ordered a federal research lab dedicated to studying infectious diseases to stop research immediately. RFK Jr. S agency paused indefinitely the Integrated Research Facility, one of the few federal labs studying what? Ebola. Padlocking the lab's freezers and refusing to say when research could commence.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Hey, guys, here's the good news. Now this closed down lab can be a movie set. And we'll send in a crew from the US From Britain and from Russia.

[John Lovett]

Wow.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

And everyone has to make a movie for as long as you can until your crew starts dying. Whoever wins this reality competition gets to take over the factory.

[John Lovett]

Wow. The Ebola factory. The Ebola factory. Take over the Ebola factory. It's a little bit like a Willy Wonka situation.

[Kamala Harris]

That's right.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. It's a golden ticket thing.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

That's right. It's not the best movie. It's how many. How. How much crew did you have left?

[John Lovett]

Right. How did you survive the movie? Making experience. Do you ever see the movie Outbreak? Starring Dustin Hoffman and Morgan Freeman? Sure. And Renee Russo and Kevin Spacey? Doesn't matter. He was in it. That's the fact. It's our history. It's about the Mutaba virus.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Mutaba.

[John Lovett]

Mutaba. But it's based on Ebola. And it turns out that the government had been doing research on the Mutaba virus. And the Mutaba virus mutated when airborne. When airborne.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

A lot of people watched that during COVID They did.

[John Lovett]

It was that and then one where Gwyneth Paltrow dies.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Sliding doors.

[John Lovett]

No, she lives in both outcomes of sliding Doors. Mostly there's a third sliding Door where she gets hit by the train. But they cut it for time. That was the cool part about sliding doors. There was the one where she's a brunette and one where she's blonde and one where she dies, kind of split, you know, like the train. She's still alive until they pull the train off. Yeah. But, like, she's alive, but they come and give last rights because once they bring the thing, the airbag, to push the train off, that's when all the bottom.

[Terry Moran]

Whoa.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Whoa.

[John Lovett]

Because what happens is when people fall between the train and the platform and the train's M.O. everything gets fucking destroyed, but you're held alive.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Dang. I mean, I guess I fell asleep before that part.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, they cut it for time. As I said. Trump shut down a program to stop raw sewage from backing up into Alabama homes because he called it illegal DEI. Here are some facts from the AP story for the last 14 years. When it rains in Louden County, Alabama, contaminated standing water builds up around Ann Burke's home. When the septic tank breaks down, raw sewage backs up into her toilet. Although frustrated, Burke says she doesn't let it get her down.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Well, hey, guys. Ann Burke actually, what she doesn't realize is she's sitting on a gold mine because come October, you can go to Ann Burke's haunted sewage house. All she has to do is hire some high school kids to, like, put, you know, fake blood on their faces, a couple of like, you know, skin hanging off, whatever, and then they just chase people through her house. And the. The whole thing is you push them into the bathroom and the toilet starts to, like, bubble, bubble, bubble. And then you get raw sewage on you.

[John Lovett]

Huh?

[Gretchen Whitmer]

And then you have like.

[John Lovett]

That's scary.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Yeah. But then it's that old time we go v. Ozempic thing where, like, you will get sick for a month. So not only did you get a good scare for Halloween, but you're gonna get so skinny, Right?

[John Lovett]

That's so important. And that's what it's all about. It's all about getting.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

That's right. It's all about getting skinny.

[John Lovett]

That's what it's all about. It's all about. If you take nothing from this conversation, it is all about getting skinny. We did the show. Love it or leave it. This show, the one you're on. We did. Yes.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

This one.

[John Lovett]

This one during the pandemic, after. Well, during. We're still in a pandemic. Calm down. But we did this show in my backyard, and my parents were visiting, and then. I'm not Gonna lay any blame or cast aspersions, but raw sewage started spilling out of the side of my house right before some I can't remember was it might have been. It might have been the cast of Severance was gonna arrive at my house. According to the ap, a climber had to be airlifted with altitude sickness from near the peak of Japan's Mount Fuji. He then tried again, returning to the slope. He returned at about 3,000 meters above sea level to look for his cell phone and other belongings that he'd left behind. He was found by another climber, unable to breathe, and he had to be evacuated a second time.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

The good news is he did get his phone.

[John Lovett]

He did. He did get his phone.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

He did get his phone. And he had a bunch of texts that he hadn't seen.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Like, how was the hike?

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

That is so embarrassing.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

He lost both his hands.

[John Lovett]

He did. He did.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

He has his phone.

[John Lovett]

He does. He was very.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Man, he's skinny.

[John Lovett]

He's so skinny. Thank you, Edie. The series finale. Series finale of Righteous Gemstones is on Sunday night on Max. When we're back, Beth Stelling and Guy Branham get all dolled up. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or leave it coming up. Love it or leave it brought to you by Helix. I love Helix mattresses. I have a Helix. John has a Helix. I got a Helix. Different Helixes. Mine's a Dawn luxe. Really comfortable. I don't have an Apple watch or an Oura ring. My partner does. And they are getting such good sleep. I had so many sleep issues in the past. Not anymore. I mean, I still have sleep issues, but that's because of the world and caffeine. Helix. The Helix mattress can't fix that. Yeah, no Helix mattress is soft enough to solve the problems we face when we're awake. But everyone is unique. Everybody sleeps differently. That's why Helix has several different mattress models to choose from, each designed for specific sleep positions and preferences. As you know, I took the quiz and got the dawn luxe, and that's because I'm a stomach sleeper. Super comfortable. The helix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses, including models with memory foam layers to provide optimal pressure relief, models with a more responsive foam to cradle your body for essential support. Helix knows there's no better way to test out a new mattress than by sleeping on it in your own home. That's why they offer a 100 night trial and a 10 to 15 year warranty to try out your new Helix mattress, plus your personalized mattress is shipped straight to your door free of charge. Go to helixsleep.com love it for 27 off site wide plus free bedding bundle including a sheet set and mattress protector with any luxe or elite mattress order. This is exclusive for listeners who love it or leave it. That's helixsleep.comlovett for 27% off sitewide plus free bedding bundle with any Luxe or Elite mattress order.

[Edie Patterson]

Helixsleep.comlovett with a home equity investment from hometab, you get access to your home equity in cash without monthly payments to use for whatever you'd like, from paying off debt to making renovations or handling emergency expenses. Receive your funds in just a few weeks, start pursuing your financial goals and start getting more out of life. See if you pre qualify for an [e-mail] subject to eligibility terms and conditions apply. That's hometap.com.

[John Lovett]

And we're back. My next two guests make it look easy. It being stand up to tell your jokes. Damn it. Please welcome to the stage the hilarious Beth's telling of the hysterical guy. Brianna, come on out.

[Terry Moran]

I have been saying for years that Beth is hysterical. I think that honestly she needs to be treated and does this mean I.

[Kamala Harris]

Get the first C?

[Terry Moran]

It's not rational.

[Kamala Harris]

Does this mean I get the first C?

[Terry Moran]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, you get. You're being hysterical.

[Kamala Harris]

Thank you.

[John Lovett]

Isn't it funny that it's can both mean quite funny but also crazy in the way that women are?

[Kamala Harris]

Yes. I prefer that second one.

[Terry Moran]

Yes.

[Kamala Harris]

Being known that way. Psychotic.

[John Lovett]

Psychotic.

[Kamala Harris]

I'm crazy.

[Terry Moran]

I prefer to identify as hoolarious. Hulu has not identified me as hoolarious, but I hope.

[John Lovett]

Oh, was that their slogan?

[Terry Moran]

Yes.

[Kamala Harris]

Another hilarious special from Guy Branham.

[John Lovett]

Yes.

[Terry Moran]

Let's hope one of these days.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Kamala Harris]

If you get your social media numbers up.

[Terry Moran]

Yes, I will. Follow me on TikTok.

[John Lovett]

I was trying to think of one with Roku.

[Kamala Harris]

I'm Rokuku.

[Terry Moran]

Yeah, Rokuku.

[Kamala Harris]

Thank you.

[John Lovett]

Beth.

[Kamala Harris]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

You're headed to Canada for part of your tour this summer. Any concerns about them whipping a hockey puck at the stage? Are you not going to Canada?

[Kamala Harris]

I am. You reminded me.

[John Lovett]

Oh, yeah. So you're excited dumping. Are you worried about them dumping a bucket of maple syrup from the rafters during your set like pig's blood spitting in your Tim Hortons.

[Kamala Harris]

You know, I'm looking forward to having Tim Hortons every single day. What are they always pitching a hot coffee and a tuna sandwich? It's evil. How is that a commercial I don't.

[John Lovett]

Like coffee with my tuna.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Me neither.

[Kamala Harris]

Ew.

[John Lovett]

Sometimes I'll have tuna and I'll have not finished my coffee, but I'll put the coffee aside and I'll pull out a Diet Coke, because that's what you need. Tuna is not coffee food.

[Terry Moran]

One of the great rifts in the friendship between John Levitt and I, he emphatically Diet Coke. I emphatically Coke Zero.

[John Lovett]

That is true. That is true.

[Kamala Harris]

Big rift.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. You don't like that. Yeah. Because Diet Coke is for women and fags, so you gotta get the manly Coke Zero. You fell for the fucking branding.

[Terry Moran]

You know me classically mask presenting.

[John Lovett]

Guy. You're staying Stateside. But you have to admit, it's pretty amazing how Donald Trump brought together the nation of Canada.

[Terry Moran]

It's magical. It's magical. They were going to elect a conservative because Justin Trudeau had been there too long making them mad. And then Donald Trump tried to take them, and they were like, no, we have to be serious. And I just. They understand the stakes of things. They understand that sometimes you have to take elections seriously. And I feel like we've been fucking around for a couple of elections. They were just like, you know, it's Canada. They have third parties this time. They were like, no, there is no time or space for third parties. You vote for the one who will hand us over to Trump or to the man who is not really from Canada, but from England. And then he won.

[John Lovett]

And then he won. I remember when Brexit happened and we were like, that's a warning sign for America. So they'll learn from the Brexit mistake and not elect Trump. I don't know if you guys remember, but we didn't learn from. Yeah, America's gonna learn from Europe. We have never done that one time. But then Europe learned from us. We elect Trump, and it led to a. Like. It's just quite frustrating that the backlash to Trump seems to consistently take place in countries outside of America.

[Terry Moran]

Yeah. I mean, maybe when absolutely every small object on Amazon costs three times as much, we'll wonder what's going on. But, you know, we've been making all of our decisions about egg prices in, like, December of 2024.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Beth, do you think it's because we closed all the churches?

[Kamala Harris]

Possibly. Yeah. I think if we all prayed a little bit more or prayed harder, we wouldn't be here. Our God is an awesome God.

[John Lovett]

That was beautiful.

[Kamala Harris]

Thank you.

[John Lovett]

So far. Just to keep track of where we're at. Double threat.

[Terry Moran]

John. John. It's an important time for politics and Christianity right now. You, a man who watches the polls, who watches the races, what do you think we're gonna get out of this next pope? You think we're gonna get, like, one of those pro fascist popes like we had in the 30s? I wanna say Paul VI or something like that. Or do you think we're gonna get like a fun cool, like, another Francis, another John xxiii?

[John Lovett]

It's all gonna come down to turnout, guy. Look, I think obviously we're all seeing what's happening with some of those swing cardinals.

[Terry Moran]

No. Did you. Did you hear about the cardinal who's, like, under suspicion for stealing? Who was like, all right, I won't vote.

[John Lovett]

Oh, is there. Has he decided to abstain? I didn't know about that. I think it's cool that they're all guys. I like that. I think that's good. I think no women should be involved in the process.

[Kamala Harris]

Wait a minute. No girl popes?

[John Lovett]

Yeah, no girl popes. That's what I said. Okay.

[Terry Moran]

This is erasure of Pope Joan during the 10th or 11th century. She's the reason that they had to sit on a chair that their balls went through for a couple of hundred years.

[Kamala Harris]

What?

[John Lovett]

I'm sorry, go back.

[Terry Moran]

So there is a rumor, a speculation, a tale that in, like, the 10th or 11th century, a woman from, I think, England managed to get herself elected pope. And from then on. Oh, but she was found out because she went into labor during a papal procession. And then for a couple of hundred years, there was a weird chair that they sat in that had a hole that your balls could go through so that they could make sure that you were neither a woman nor a eunuch.

[John Lovett]

And we know that there's other ways to make sure somebody's a man. Right. But I just, like.

[Terry Moran]

It's one of the top priorities of our government right now, for sure.

[Kamala Harris]

Cassie asked for direction.

[John Lovett]

NCAA is getting one of those chairs. But the make all the athletes sit on it before the marathons of a.

[Kamala Harris]

Feeling moment underneath a cup.

[John Lovett]

A cupping, if you will. I think there's a bell.

[Kamala Harris]

Okay.

[Terry Moran]

I have to imagine in the Middle Ages in the Vatican, there was a lot of ball cupping for a number of reasons. Some procedural, some just fun.

[John Lovett]

That's exactly right. Yeah. It's sort of hard to take rumors from the 10th century Seriously, given that we have pictures of everything and nobody believes anything now. Like, I don't really believe Catherine had sex with the horse.

[Terry Moran]

I 100% do.

[John Lovett]

You know that that's a rumor, right?

[Terry Moran]

Catherine the great had sex with her horse.

[Kamala Harris]

I do feel like she would have died from that.

[John Lovett]

No, it was pegging.

[Terry Moran]

She's the top.

[John Lovett]

Why does everyone assume. Everyone assumes she's getting fucked, but it's like that wasn't her relationship with that horse. You fucking prudes. Guy and Beth, we're all firmly in the millennial camp. After the 2024 election, there's a lot of talk about how Gen Z is more conservative than us. Maybe the most conservative generation since the boomers. However, recent polling suggests that young people are turning on Trump as well. Where are you out on the Gen Z. What do you think? What's happening with you?

[Kamala Harris]

Where are you guys on Trump?

[John Lovett]

What's your experience of the youth out on the road? You're both doing standup tours. What's happening when you see the young people in the world?

[Kamala Harris]

They're giggling.

[Terry Moran]

Yes. Mostly at their phones, but then sometimes they pay attention to the comedian.

[Kamala Harris]

That's true. They got some, some, some hunching going on, bad posture.

[Terry Moran]

They love this. They love the Smash Bros. They love the Smash Bros. And they love not having sex with each other.

[Kamala Harris]

Yeah. Maybe a little celibacy.

[Terry Moran]

Yeah.

[Kamala Harris]

They're saying things like Sigma.

[Terry Moran]

Uh huh.

[Kamala Harris]

And I've actually had some of them tell me they're poppers or they're into poppers.

[Terry Moran]

Yes. Our culture is being stolen yet again. It's like, though, at some point in time we are going to find out that black women in the south were doing poppers 30 years before gay guys.

[John Lovett]

That's a really good joke.

[Terry Moran]

Thank you.

[John Lovett]

That's really good. That's a new one for me. That was good. I like that. I enjoyed that. Hey, your shirt says barf.

[Kamala Harris]

It's true.

[John Lovett]

All right.

[Terry Moran]

I just want to say in the Barbie font. John, calling me millennial was one of the kindest things anyone said to me. And it really shows that the moisturizing is paying off.

[John Lovett]

I'm just gonna just let it live, you know, not call attention to it. All right. Earlier this week, I saw something that shook me to my core. No, it wasn't that Belgian seagull contest from the Monologue no more. That's horrible. It was something called Labuboos. Do you know of Labubus?

[Kamala Harris]

Only because of UUs.

[John Lovett]

Labubus are a type of evil looking elf that inspired a near riot at the Pop Mart in LA this month after people camped outside before dawn to buy new releases. I found out this week that one of our colleagues, Jordan, wears a Labubu clipped to his Bag. It was horrifying to discover I only found out about Labubus because I was served, algorithmically, a video of people rioting of the Century City Mall for Labubus. They were all adults. I was like, okay, I'll bite. What's a Labubu? Seems to be some kind of a doll. That can't be right. Those were all adults. There's hundreds of adults, adult human beings waiting outside of a store for a doll. And everybody. The people that worked at the mall were furious because they were like, everybody's gotta leave. You're not behaving.

[Kamala Harris]

Ew.

[Terry Moran]

I think this is one of the best arguments for the tariffs. I think this is a. It's a searing reminder that necessities should cost more money. That, like, honestly, you know, we have grown weak as a nation, and it would be better if we lived in an America where people had to engage in more fist fights on a regular basis and you had to scrimp and save to afford wheat and eggs for your family and had less money to spend on slightly creepy cute things.

[Kamala Harris]

Well, I'm.

[John Lovett]

You know, it's interesting. It's an interesting point. It's an interesting point. I think on some level you seem to be suggesting. And I don't know if this is what you took from it.

[Kamala Harris]

I was going to say dump them into the ocean, but yeah.

[John Lovett]

Which is that it is not possible to have that. That. That. That. To have meaning requires scarcity. And Mike and I. And I just think we're not going to have scarcity. So we need to figure out a way to have meaning. And Labubus. There's gonna be. Either we have. Here's the thing. Labubus are gonna win every fucking time. So if it's meaning versus Labubus. Labubus by a mile. So we gotta figure out how to get meaning and Labubus.

[Terry Moran]

Okay, I would like to. Two things. First of all, who wrote the thing about the plentiful Pro. Like the idea.

[John Lovett]

Abundance.

[Terry Moran]

Abundance.

[John Lovett]

Ezra Klein. That's why I said it like that. Abundanza by Ezra Klein.

[Terry Moran]

Yes. I mean, we do, as progressives, need to figure out how to create a.

[John Lovett]

And Derek Thompson, also the co writer and Derek Thompson.

[Terry Moran]

A notion of abundance and how to live in a world in abundance. And I would say that this is the key place for queer bitchiness in our world. Queer bitchiness is a way of creating the feeling of scarcity in a time and place of abundance. You can have your Labubu, but also there are going to be like two mean Gay guys and a queer coded sassy lady who are going to tell you that your Labubu is dumb and then you feel bad about it.

[John Lovett]

That's beautiful.

[Terry Moran]

One of the creators of the long running play, Five Dykes Eating a Quiche. Five Lesbians Eating a quiche. I'm sorry I said that word.

[Kamala Harris]

It's okay. Okay, but why don't you think they have more just in cardboard boxes and plastic in the back? They're not. I feel like there's. Why would we have a scarcity of Labubus?

[Terry Moran]

Well, I think capitalism artificially creates scarcity so that people will buy things and be excited for them. But, like, I was just.

[Kamala Harris]

We need comforters. We need people out there going, don't worry, there's more.

[Terry Moran]

But I, I just.

[Kamala Harris]

No, you don't have to line up right now.

[Terry Moran]

We spend so much time worrying about these dumb things when maybe we should be thinking about, like, important things. Like, why are we fighting with our other country friends?

[John Lovett]

Right. No. And I think that'd be something I'd really like to talk to the people on the lines for the Labubus about.

[Kamala Harris]

Well, can I know how much they are? How much are the Labubus?

[John Lovett]

I don't know.

[Kamala Harris]

You know when you're sitting across from somebody who's really rich and you're like telepathically being like, buy me a house.

[Terry Moran]

Yes. That's what Los Angeles is.

[Kamala Harris]

Constantly every zoom I'm in, like.

[Terry Moran]

But also, would you like to know what kind of shoes Labubus wear?

[John Lovett]

What kind of shoes do Labubus wear?

[Terry Moran]

Labuboutons.

[Kamala Harris]

Oh, no.

[John Lovett]

All right, so it's time for a segment inspired by Labubus called An Inconvenient Youth. I'll give you something the youth love. You'll give us your gut reaction. Is this a valuable piece of culture we millennials should learn about and retain? Or is this for little losers, little freaks who need to grow up? First up, we have. Well, we've already covered the boo boos.

[Kamala Harris]

You don't need it.

[John Lovett]

Here's a clip of Charles Barkley, who is also old, clowning on Dylan Brooks for wearing a Labubu on his belt. And that's how you come to dogs. Bird nest. What a damn bunny on you. That's how you go to work. Are you serious?

[Kamala Harris]

As they should.

[Terry Moran]

If they didn't have little fangs, I would think that they were adorable and great. But I think it is the little fangs that make them dumb.

[John Lovett]

But I think that their meanness and their kind of. The fact that they have some bad boy personality is what makes the Labubu appeal to people.

[Kamala Harris]

Like Sour Patch Kids.

[Terry Moran]

Yes. It does not appeal to me. I was never a garbage pale kid person in my time. I am older than a millennial. I like things to be. To be cute and fun.

[Kamala Harris]

I was into Beanie Babies when they happened, but I had a schoolteacher mother. So it was like you got what was there when it happened. You know, if you did well on a test or.

[John Lovett]

I love the Garbage Pail Kids because they were like Cabbage Patch Kids but funny. You know, they were mean and weird and they had different problems. They were really kids in crisis. Every single one of them.

[Terry Moran]

Cabbage Patch Kids were orphans. They were orphans. They had no one to love them. And you would say, oh, I want to love one. And then they would say, you're a boy. You can't have that. You need to have action figures that fight with each other. And then I just took the one girl, GI Joe Scarlet, and gave her a complex inner life.

[John Lovett]

I would take two of my sister's cat dolls and they'd go on dates. Oh.

[Kamala Harris]

You don't want to know what I was doing.

[Terry Moran]

What, what were you doing? Scissoring Barbies.

[Kamala Harris]

It's. There's possible there was some life size doll scenarios.

[John Lovett]

Talking about mannequins.

[Kamala Harris]

Yeah, well, you know, just like maybe a doll that was around my size that perhaps we sort of got to know each other better.

[John Lovett]

I was like, Legos, Legos. And then the cat dates. Cat dates were a secret. I think my mother's finding out about the cat dates right from this. If you like Labubus, but think they're too clothed. Here's Sunny's Angels. Here are all my Sunny Angels, keychains and hippers. 1, 2, 3, 4, fours and fives and 6, 7, 8. I organized them all by series, and I have 115. So those are troll dolls, where all history repeats.

[Kamala Harris]

I did love troll dolls.

[John Lovett]

And I'll just go back to where I said, we got to get people back into the pews. We gotta get people. These should be saints. We gotta get. These should be fucking saints. We need more people. I need less Labubus, more matzah. Like, we just gotta get people back. People want a fucking program. They want a program. This is not working.

[Terry Moran]

No, that's great. We need monoculture so that Beth and I can make jokes about it. If you all have your own little thing. What were those little naked dolls called?

[John Lovett]

They were called Sunny Angels.

[Terry Moran]

Like if one person. Japanese toy maker, a Sonny Angel. I Make a Sonny angel joke. Nobody gets it. But if, you know, I make a joke about Saint Catherine of Siena and all of your good churchgoing Catholics, y'all get the joke?

[John Lovett]

Beth.

[Terry Moran]

Jesus gave her his foreskin as a wedding ring. That's funny.

[John Lovett]

You misgendered Jesus, Beth. Sunny angels were designed to be a tiny companion for working women in their mid-20s dealing with the stresses of adulthood. What do you think about that? Oh, yeah.

[Kamala Harris]

When I'm stressed, I definitely want a little baby to take care of.

[John Lovett]

You never know which Sonny angel you're gonna get because they come in blind boxes. So there's a raffle element to it.

[Kamala Harris]

That's so ugly.

[Terry Moran]

Yeah, I mean, like, But. And it's also just, like, it's creating an ebay business for someone, and I don't like that.

[John Lovett]

I think there's something about manufactured collectibles, too, that bugs me. Like, it's like, kind of the collectible version of the ugly sweater party. Like, the original concept of an ugly sweater party was someone made something they thought was beautiful that they. But, like, ha ha. Like, in a sweet way, but this wasn't my taste, or it's from a Midwest, or it's gone out of style. So we all find something that was once considered nice by someone somewhere, like a Cosby sweater. A Cosby sweater, which obviously has the connotation of his innocence. And so, I don't know.

[Kamala Harris]

He was nice to me.

[John Lovett]

But then all of a sudden, Target is selling ugly sweaters that people would go buy before these parties. Like, collectibles. Like, we create the randomness of collectibility so that you have to collect.

[Kamala Harris]

It reminds me of the. What's the little messed up Christmas tree from the Peanuts?

[Terry Moran]

Oh, yeah.

[Kamala Harris]

You know, it's like, I don't want to be able to buy that. The Charlie Brown tree. You shouldn't sell that at Urban Outfitters. It's upsetting.

[John Lovett]

I can't go on Urban Outfitters anymore. Two old.

[Kamala Harris]

Bit of an overload.

[John Lovett]

Too old. I bleed from the eyes like a vampire if I go in there now.

[Terry Moran]

I endorse this and support this in all ways. Except I like the state quarters. I like. I don't know. I don't know if that's manufactured collectibles, but I love a state quarter.

[John Lovett]

State quarters were huge. Huge. Good idea. I think the money should change more. I think the money we got to, like, used to change all the time, and then we got really stuck in our ways, and I think we got to move stuff around. We need different people on the Money.

[Terry Moran]

It was that fucking Hamilton musical. Everybody was excited to get Hamilton off. And then.

[John Lovett]

Well, the problem is that this is a Trump fucking issue, as always, because it requires getting rid of Andrew Jackson. And then there was the question of where to put Harriet Tubman. Right. Oh, Harriet Tubman was meant to replace Alexander Hamilton, but then everybody liked Hamilton. But then there was an Andrew Jackson problem somewhere on the money or no, that Trump wanted Jackson. It's not important.

[Terry Moran]

Trump loves Jackson because he was the one who said fuck you to the Supreme Court. And Trump, we are headed towards that.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Kamala Harris]

Then he's gonna put himself on it. And I don't want to throw away money.

[John Lovett]

What do you think about Benson Boone?

[Kamala Harris]

Please stay.

[John Lovett]

I like him. Do you have a clip? He's very talented and he can do flips.

[Kamala Harris]

That was crazy.

[John Lovett]

And I really respect the effort.

[Kamala Harris]

I can't believe he did that at the Grammys.

[John Lovett]

Also, he quit American Idol, which I also think is really cool.

[Terry Moran]

Oh, that is awesome.

[John Lovett]

He was like, I'm leaving because I'm going to be a star without them, and I don't want to be a star because of them. Which is cool.

[Kamala Harris]

I love.

[John Lovett]

Is that right? Yeah.

[Kamala Harris]

Do people not like him?

[John Lovett]

I don't know.

[Kamala Harris]

I love the suit. I love the flip. I love the song.

[Terry Moran]

I like. I like I am pro dumb, pretty strong guy. And so I endorse it. And I like that he wears little outfits to make himself pretty.

[Kamala Harris]

It was cool to see the bump of his stuff. It was like a perfect little bump.

[John Lovett]

Nice little bump.

[Kamala Harris]

Yeah, I feel a little bump.

[John Lovett]

Beautiful voice. Beautiful voice. Famous double threat, Beth. She's the double threat. Funny and can sing. End of list. Far as I know.

[Terry Moran]

Do you have Cora?

[Kamala Harris]

Don't make me flip off this stage.

[John Lovett]

Okay. Guy and Beth get tickets for each of their [e-mail] and bethstelling.com great job. You know what, Millennials? We got our names. You know, we got it early enough. Yeah, Gen Z can't take that. You can also catch Beth's special if you didn't want me then. On Netflix.

[Kamala Harris]

That's right.

[John Lovett]

Wow. A Netflix special coming up next. We'll have a terrific time at the wheel. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of love it or leave it coming up. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Therapy can feel like a big investment, but the state of your mind is just important as your physical health. Let's talk numbers. Traditional in person therapy can cost anywhere from $100 to $250 per session. Which adds up fast. But with BetterHelp online therapy, you can save on average up to 50% per session. With BetterHelp, you pay a flat fee for weekly sessions, saving you big on cost and on time. Therapy should feel accessible, not like a luxury. With online therapy, you get quality care at a price that makes sense and can help you with anything from anxiety to everyday stress. Your mental health is worth it and now it's within reach. We're therapy boys. We sure are. It's very helpful. It's benefited me. I just came from therapy. He just came from therapy. Look at that. Look at that. Nice and relaxed. He does actually. He does actually. There's a chill to him. For example. It's helpful for learning positive coping skills on how to set boundaries. It empowers you to be the best version of yourself. It isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. It's convenient too. You can join a session with a click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life. Plus switch therapists at any time. Your well being is worth it. Visit betterhelp.comloveit to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelph. E lp.com love it.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

What if you could use your home equity to pay off your debt without monthly payments so you could focus on reaching your other financial goals? With a home equity investment from HomeTap, you can get access to your home equity in cash. Get closer to financial freedom and get more out of life. Learn more and see if you pre qualify for an [e-mail] Subject to eligibility, terms and conditions apply. Get access to your home equity in cash. Visit hometap.com to apply in minutes. That's hometap.com.

[John Lovett]

And we're back. All right, before we get to the rest of the show, America has a lot of problems, but at least our beloved children's authors aren't leading the charge against trans rights yet. The UK Supreme Court just ruled that the legal definition of a woman is based on biological sex. A major victory for the anti trans movement and a warning for the rest of us on this week's Pond Save the UK Trans campaigner and author Ellen Jones joins Nish Kumar and Coco Khan to break down how the hell this happened, how J.K. rowling got involved and what is actual allyship right now. Watch now on Pod Save the UK on their YouTube channel or listen wherever you get your podcasts. Also, stand up for the trans community in a Trans people have always existed T shirt or tote at the Cricket store. It's a good design. Go check it out. Go to crooked.com store.

[Terry Moran]

John, may I briefly get on a soapbox?

[John Lovett]

Sure.

[Terry Moran]

So people have been wearing to support the trans community the Support the dolls T shirts. We saw Pedro Pascal in one. But traditionally doll refers to like femme presenting and passable trans ladies. And I desperately want a support the bricks T shirt. I want to support the trans ladies who, you know, are six foot two are, you know, topping 200. Those ladies deserve the right to their life and their liberty just as much, even if they aren't fitting into your reductive notion of what a woman looks like. The UK Supreme Court can say whatever it likes. I think if you identify with any portion of Shania Twain's Man I feel like a woman, we're there.

[John Lovett]

Cricket.comtour Also, we have a bunch of great shows coming up. We'll be back here at Dynasty Typewriter next week with a great lineup. And the following week we're having a show at Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank. Woohoo. For that show we'll have Sarah Silverman, Lamorne Morris and Esther Povitzky. We have more guests and more shows coming out, so Everybody go to cricket.com events. All right. Please welcome back to the stage, Edie Patterson.

[Kamala Harris]

Yay.

[John Lovett]

Welcome back. Hey, thanks. Good to see you again.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

You too.

[John Lovett]

The tariff saga is never ending. But just like three day old Panda Express in your fridge, it's probably okay. What? Maybe it's not all bad. Some things should be tariffed to protect us from our worst impulses. Which is why we're closing out the show with a segment we're calling tariff only. Tariff only. Tariff only. We'll spin the wheel and each share something we'd like to tariff to save us from ourselves. Now to the wheel.

[Kamala Harris]

Oh my God.

[John Lovett]

Beth, it's landed on you.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

I knew it was gonna.

[John Lovett]

You have 1 minute to share something. You think we should tariff, which I guess means we're not getting rid of it, but make it a little bit harder to get access to it. You know what I'm saying?

[Kamala Harris]

Right. And I only have to choose one. One thing.

[John Lovett]

One thing.

[Kamala Harris]

Does the time start now?

[John Lovett]

It starts now.

[Kamala Harris]

I think that we should put a tariff on Art of Animals portrayed in a bad light.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

That's really good. Are we talking like dogs in poker?

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Kamala Harris]

I can't see a dog smoking. Yeah, I think that should be Harder to get.

[John Lovett]

It's a bad influence on the other dogs for sure.

[Kamala Harris]

You know what else? I want to see them pretty much close to their thing, you know, like I can't see a shark being nice because then you're going to think that that might be possible for you.

[John Lovett]

So you're saying it's not that you don't want to see. It's not just that you don't want to see dogs doing something bad. You don't want to see sharks doing something good. You want the photos and art of animals to be fitting the conception you have of their souls and character. And that's what art is to you, that you don't want to be surprised or challenged by anything you see about.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

What's the looks like. We got a real Kincaid on our hands here.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, you want to see fucking trees with snow on them and dogs running and jumping. But end of list.

[Kamala Harris]

I'm okay with a dog and a.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Hat.

[Kamala Harris]

Because that's possible.

[John Lovett]

So art for you needs to be something that looks cute. It has to exist.

[Kamala Harris]

Yeah, I don't. I can't have, you know, see it thinking that you should be hanging out with a shark, doing, you know, doing drugs with a shark.

[John Lovett]

Well, I don't think art necessarily has to be something it's not, as it always suggests, what you should do. Like, I don't think. I don't think Hieronymus Bosch wanted to burn Belgium to the ground or wherever.

[Kamala Harris]

I'm just saying make it harder to get. Make it harder to get?

[John Lovett]

Yeah, just make it harder to get. You're not saying don't get it, just put a tax on it.

[Kamala Harris]

I've just.

[John Lovett]

Just say, but put a tag's on it. Terrible.

[Kamala Harris]

You gotta work really hard to get it.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

So if I. If I wanted a picture of like, you know, a woman like leaning against a tiger, just make it real expensive.

[Kamala Harris]

Yeah, exactly.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Okay.

[Kamala Harris]

That's gonna be hard to get into your house on my watch.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

But not impossible.

[Kamala Harris]

Not impossible.

[John Lovett]

Cool. Thank you, Beth. That was wonderful. Let's spin it again. Hey, O Edie, it has landed on you.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Okay. I think there should be a tariff on whenever anybody wants to go online and make a video going like, hey guys, here's a big life thing that I've figured out and you should do it too. I think anytime someone wants to like teach the world something on like Instagram or Tick Tock or whatever, they should just have to pay a tariff.

[John Lovett]

I think that's right.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Yeah.

[Terry Moran]

I love.

[John Lovett]

That's really smart. It's not saying you can't do it, but like pay a fee.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Pay a fee.

[John Lovett]

Because in the same way that we like there's those high frequency traders that they make a ton of money by make doing. And it's like you can do. You got to pay a little bit of a fee.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Yeah, pay a fee. And then also that'll like maybe keep you just a little more honest. You won't every time you have a friggin thought go like, I got to get online and make everyone else do this. You'll maybe go like, oh, it's pretty high tariff. Maybe I should mean this.

[John Lovett]

That's. I saw somebody make a video that went pretty viral and it was someone saying, hey, take it from me. I've been, you know, I'm one of your elders and you just need to take it from me. You can't be successful and have friends. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. Bad advice, Bad advice.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Yeah, he should have been tariff.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, actually it was a woman. Because women can also be wrong. And that's important. I'm just. It's, you know, it's 20, 25 and women can be wrong too.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Huh.

[Kamala Harris]

Well, that one's harder for me to get behind, but same, same.

[Terry Moran]

I wanna. The way that Beth is looking at you makes me think her triple threat is just being threatening.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Oh, that's good.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, that's funny.

[Kamala Harris]

I think that the tariff thing is good in the sense that you would choose, you know, you're not going to just give 17 life lessons this week. Of all the things, you got to pick and choose what you're, you know, how much can you afford?

[Gretchen Whitmer]

You can't make that your life. Getting on every day and going like, you know, just do this thing that I did. Wear only this or look at the sun only through this side of your face or whatever. You gotta pick and choose.

[John Lovett]

That's so smart. Good tariff.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Thanks.

[John Lovett]

Good tariff. Let's spin it again. It has landed on Guy. What would you like to put a tariff on? Guy Branham.

[Terry Moran]

How exciting. European crime dramas. It is important to protect our domestic manufacturing market. And through all of these streamers, it's just become too easy for us to access crime dramas from other countries. Every time a man in Denmark finds a dead body and has to fix his relationship with his dad to solve the crime, now suddenly it is being shoved down our throats. Can we still make a procedural. Yes, but think of our mayors of Easttowns. Do you want to live in an America that can no longer Make a mayor of Easttown. No. That's why we need to start putting real tariffs on our imports of American, of foreign crime dramas.

[John Lovett]

I think that's such an important point. And I'll say we have to do it now before the AI gets too sophisticated because it's all fun and games when there are subtitles. All right, that's a barrier. Okay. But pretty soon Netflix, you're just going to click a button and AI is going to make them talk in English and then we're absolutely fucked because then we're watching them before they even. We're not even getting the three years later American version. We're slightly better looking Americans.

[Terry Moran]

If you don't, if you don't let them speak Danish and then have subtitles, how are you going to learn that the Danish word for woman is kavinda?

[John Lovett]

That's exactly right.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Exactly.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Kamala Harris]

And they're going to pay for that.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Borgon. Hardly know them.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

Kabinga. They're right in 2025.

[John Lovett]

Let's spin it again. Wow. So there needs to be a fucking massive cost per inch of website real estate that comes before the recipe. What is going on? What is the. I don't understand it. I don't understand the incentives. I'm sure it must make sense. It must have some rationale. But why am I reading a book about the story of mustard glazed chicken and all the exciting experiences you've had with mustard and chicken and glaze and all the different modifications you could employ and then the recipe described subjectively in full before I get to what I need, which is the things I need to buy at the grocery store and the steps I take in order to produce the chicken. What is. Who is benefiting? Who wins from what's going on all the way up here? Is it just. I don't understand. I genuinely am baffled by it. Who is producing all this text chatgpt Perhaps I just want to tax. I want to tax and I want to. I want to also, by the way, I pay a monthly fee. I pay a monthly fee to the Internet and then the Internet would know. I get to go right to the recipes. I want Internet wide recipe plus. And I don't see any of this. I don't see any of this. You need the recipes to be right at the top. I need to be able to jump down to find out what kind of chicken I'm supposed to buy. I don't want to know about your husband. I don't ever want to know about your husband.

[Terry Moran]

Except for Priya Krishna. Priya Krishna from the New York Times cooking section has the hottest husband. He is an architect named Seth who loves to bake and I would like to learn more about him. Mostly what he looks like with his shirt off.

[John Lovett]

And that's our show. Edie Patterson Guy Branham Beth Stelling we'll be back next week at Dynasty Typewriter. Thank you all for coming out. There are 5, 549 days until the midterms. Have a great night and have a great weekend. If you're already scrolling endlessly, which we know you are, don't forget to follow us at Crooked media on Instagram, TikTok and all the other ones for original content, community events and more. You can also find Love it or leave it on YouTube for videos of your favorite segments and other YouTube exclusive content. And if you want to type our praises or rip us a new one, consider dropping finally, you can join Crooked's Friends of the Pod subscription community for ad free Love it or Leave it and Pod Save America episodes, subscriber exclusive pods and more. Sign [e-mail] friends love it or Leave it is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, Bill McGrath is our producer and Kennedy Hill is our Associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Coffin, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre and Will Miles are our writers. Jordan Kantor is our editor, Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Shirshire. Thanks to our designer, Sammy Cadearna Rees for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And thanks to our digital producers, David Tools, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, Delon Villanueva and Rachel Gajewski for filming and editing video each week. Our head of production is Matt De Groat, our head of programming is Madeline Herringer, and our our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.

[Gretchen Whitmer]

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[John Lovett]

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