← Lovett or Leave It
Lovett or Leave It
2 Woke 2 Pope
01:25:50
This week, Canada finds a loonie in the White House, Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy loses (air traffic) control, the new Chicago pope offers up Da Prayers, and Trump’s tariffs start messing with consumers’ doll hairs. Kerri Kenney-Silver looks back at the State of her IMDb page, and we knock Zach Zimmerman’s socks off, even though they totally made his outfit. And we close out a long week working at the Department of Political Goof ‘Em Ups with some home-cooked life spoilers. #LatinaWife Upcoming shows: crooked.com/events
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- [00:00]
John Lovett
Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Fast Growing Trees. Did you know Fast Growing Trees is the biggest online nursery in the US with thousands of different plants and over 2 million happy customers. They have all the plants your yard needs like fruit trees, privacy trees, flowering trees, shrubs, whatever plants you're interested in. Fast Growing Trees has you covered. Find the perfect fit in your climate and space. Fast Growing Trees makes it easy to get your dream yard. Order online and get your plants delivered directly to your door in just a few days without ever leaving home. They're alive and thrive Guarantee ensures your plants arrive happy and healthy. Plus get support from trained plant experts on call to help you plan your landscape, choose the right plants and learn how to care for them. We love Fast Growing Trees. It's a great way to get great plants at your house and to have a lush environment. And you should use them. There's excellent service this spring. They have the best deals for your yard up to half off on select plants and other deals and listeners to Our show get 15 off their first purchase when using the code Love it at checkout. That's an additional 15 off at fast growingtrees.com using the code love it at checkout fast growingtrees.com code love it. Now's the perfect time to plant, use Love it to save today. Offer is valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions apply. What's up, Los Angeles? Welcome to Love it or Leave It Live from Dynasty Typewriter. We've got white smoke in the chimney, so you know that means we got a great show for you tonight, Kerry. Kenny Silver is here and she'll ask, was I in this? Then Zach Zimmerman joins us to talk good surprises and bad decisions right before we all wrap it up with the spoils of a show. Well done. But first, let's get into it. What a week. Newly elected Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney met with Trump at the White House on Tuesday, less than an hour after Trump wrote of Canada on Truth Social. We don't need their cars, we don't need their energy. We don't need their lumber. We don't need anything they have other than their friendship, which hopefully we will always maintain. They, on the other hand, need everything from us. I want to say this is not how people maintain friendships, but now that I'm watching Real Housewives, I know that there are many ways to define friendship. During the meeting, Trump mused about the economic and aesthetic benefits of Canada becoming our 51st state.
- [02:31]
Donald Trump
You know, I'm a real estate developer at heart. When you get Rid of that artificially drawn line. Somebody drew that line many years ago with like a ruler, just a straight line right across the top of the country. When you look at that beautiful formation when it's together, I'm a very artistic person, but when I looked at that beauto, I said that's the way it was meant to be.
- [02:52]
John Lovett
It reminds me of another failed artist I read about in school. But I can't put my finger on it. Finger on it. Can't put my finger on it. In response, Carney put his Canadian foot down.
- [03:12]
Mark Carney
As you know from real estate, there are some places that are never for sale.
- [03:16]
Donald Trump
That's true.
- [03:16]
Mark Carney
We're sitting in one right now. You know Buckingham palace that you visited as well.
- [03:20]
John Lovett
That's true.
- [03:21]
Mark Carney
And having met with the owners of Canada over the course of the campaign last several months. It's not for sale. Won't be for sale. Ever.
- [03:30]
Donald Trump
Never say never. Never say never.
- [03:34]
John Lovett
Sorry. Not sorry. First of all, every leader comes to the Oval, we get to see like their plan for how you deal with Trump. That was. That was excellent. That was excellent. That was fucking smooth. He made him feel respected. He told him no. He did it by complimenting his home because he thinks of it as his. You may think that the owners of Canada is a cute reference to the voters. It's not. Their names are Harold and Cynthia Bouchard and they are the mild mannered heirs to a beaver trap fortune. After the meeting, a reporter asked Carney this. I was watching your face through the.
- [04:12]
Mark Carney
Meeting in the Oval Office and I wondered what was going through your mind.
- [04:17]
John Lovett
When the President talked about rebracing the artificial border.
- [04:20]
Mark Carney
Well, thank you for, I guess for your question. I'm glad that you couldn't tell what was going through my mind. Oh, I thought as that was.
- [04:29]
John Lovett
But she really couldn't because Carney had fully disassociated. Carney was actually thinking about how it makes no sense that in Raiders of the Lost Ark, when Indiana Jones realizes the Germans are digging in the wrong place, he just starts digging in the right place. Even though they are surrounded by Germans. Let him right do it.
- [04:45]
Mark Carney
It's dumb.
- [04:48]
John Lovett
What the fuck? Oh my God, guys, they're digging in the wrong place. Phew. Let's come back in a few months. No, tonight. Leave it there. It's been there for 2000. In other Trump real estate news, our big bad boy on Sunday declared that he wanted federal law enforcement agencies to reopen Alcatraz.
- [05:11]
Donald Trump
Alcatraz is, I would say, the ultimate right. Alcatraz. Sing Sing And Alcatraz, the movies, it sort of represents something that's both horrible and beautiful and strong and miserable. Weakness. It's got a lot of qualities that are interesting.
- [05:34]
John Lovett
One minor obstacle. Alcatraz hasn't been a functioning prison for 60 years and is currently a museum. Though if you're 17 years old and on a family trip to San Francisco with your parents, it sure can feel like a functioning prison. You want California to reopen Alcatraz, bitch. We can't even reopen the arclight. Yeah, the fuck didn't make any sense. What happened to the Arc Light? For people who don't live in Southern California, we have a beautiful theater called the Arc Light, the Cineranum. It's a big dome. And it closed. And not during the pandemic and not even right after the pandemic. They just kind of gave up, like 30 yards from the finish line. And never been an explanation as to what happened. And it's never been reopened. It's just sitting there, closed. Could have been seeing all kinds of movies there. Could have seen thunderbolts, asterisk there. Who knows what it's about? But our creative boy was full of ideas. On Sunday, in a separate post, Trump announced that he would direct officials to begin the process of imposing a 100% tariff on any movie produced outside the U.S. congratulations to senior White House advisor Guy Branham, who pitched this idea as a joke last week on this show. It was so stupid. It was a funny way to end the show. What's a funny, stupid thing you can't put a tariff on, but wish you could? Foreign films. And then Trump is like, I have an idea. What if he's listening? I'm the only one you can trust, wrote Trump. The movie industry in America is dying a very fast death. Other countries are offering all sorts of incentives to draw our filmmakers and studios away from the United States. Hollywood and many other areas within the USA are being devastated. This is a concerted effort by other nations and therefore a national security threat. Look, we all are here in Los Angeles. We're alone together. We can admit he's cooking. He's also so close, it almost made sense, too. I don't think Croatia is making it cheap to film a Wes Anderson movie so that they can do a 9 11. Trump was asked about the movie tariffs in front of a deafening helicopter.
- [07:56]
Donald Trump
What they've done is other nations have been stealing the movies, the movie making capabilities from the United States. And I said to a couple of people, what do you think? I've done some very strong research over the last week and we're making very few movies now.
- [08:13]
John Lovett
Hollywood is being destroyed now, so this is what it feels like when Trump speaks to your niche. Personal grievance. Stay strong, John. Democracy Roe v. Wade for a 22 episode season of television shot in Burbank. No focus. Keep it together, John. Turns out Trump's very strong research and this is real is a conversation with actor Jon Voight. Yes, Voight, who is one of Trump's ambassadors to Hollywood, along with Mel Gibson and William Foster, who is the character Michael Douglas played in the film Falling down, met with Trump over the weekend at Mar a Lago. And in a video, Voight said he presented Trump with a plan to rescue Hollywood, though it seems like tariffs were not part of it.
- [09:04]
Donald Trump
My fellow Americans and my peers of Hollywood, I recently met with our president, Donald J. Trump, who loves the entertainment business, wants to see Hollywood thrive and make films bigger and greater than ever before, as he says, and see productions come back to America and Hollywood.
- [09:25]
John Lovett
Unfortunately, most of the plan is about developing what Voight calls the DCU or the Deliverance cinematic universe. Not interested in that. Using Deliverance. You guys know that it's a weird movie to make into a universe because of what happens in it, because of the horrible business inside of that movie. When asked about his Hollywood tariff plan, which made no sense and which he soon basically dropped, he blamed Gavin Newsom.
- [09:56]
Donald Trump
You have an incompetent, grossly incompetent governor.
- [09:59]
John Lovett
That allowed that to happen.
- [10:00]
Donald Trump
So I'm not just blaming other nations, but other nations, a lot of them have stolen our movie industry. And I'm saying if they're not willing to make a movie inside the United States and we should have a tariff.
- [10:14]
John Lovett
On movies that come in, continued Trump. Look at Ratatouille. We have our own rats right here, and I bet they cook just as good. On Monday, Newsom proposed an alternative plan, a $7.5 billion federal tax credit to support the industry, said Newsom in a statement. America continues to be a film powerhouse and California is all in to bring more production here. Building on our successful state program, we're eager to partner with the Trump administration to further strengthen domestic production and make America film again. Come on, man, you don't have to do his little slogan. He gives you a noogie and you do his little slogan. At least Gretchen Whitmer got the money first. Get the money, then you can do the fucking slogan. As Americans began to feel the effects of Trump's tariffs, Trump switched to a defensive crouch, arguing that families will benefit from austerity even if they struggle in the short term.
- [11:06]
Donald Trump
I don't think a beautiful baby girl needs that's 11 years old, needs to have 30 dolls. I think they can have three dolls or four dolls. They don't need to have 250 pencils. They can have five.
- [11:19]
John Lovett
Five pencils. What is she, a Rockefeller? Meanwhile, Mattel confirmed this week that the price of Barbies will spike because of the tariffs. In an effort to cut costs, the company announced that Malibu Barbie will temporarily be replaced by a Thousand Oaks Barbie. And get this, the Barbie Dream House is going to become a Barbie Adu. Trump rejected the idea that the tariffs were negatively affecting the price of many items, despite reports that the cost of items like strollers and car seats were going up.
- [11:54]
Donald Trump
All costs are down. Everything is down other than, as Tristan said, the thing that you carry the.
- [12:02]
John Lovett
Babies around, said Elon Musk. They're called women and they're more expensive now. Even the American versions. Last Monday Last Monday, air traffic controllers at Philadelphia's Radar center lost contact with aircraft arriving at Newark Airport, kicking off a ground stop and a days long waterfall of delays and cancellations. So scary. Imagine dying in Newark. Almost as bleak as being alive in Newark. Thank you. The ground stop came after a serious equipment malfunction, which isn't that surprising. The agency has been perpetually maintaining equipment that in some cases dates to the 1950s. We're trying to land airplanes with the Joe Biden of radars. The radar keeps insisting it's fine, it won't step aside. Feels like the radar isn't being shown all the data. After Pete Buttigieg posted about our ongoing transportation crisis this week, Transportation Secretary and former Road Rules contestant Sean Duffy tweeted, we've achieved more in 100 days than Buttigieg and Biden achieved in four years. POTUS and I will continue the work of ripping out the green new scam and DEI for the American people. Hey Sean, less typey typey, more keepy keepy. The airplane's in the sky. Okay. Secretary Duffy wasn't going to let the risk of more air disasters rent him from having a little fun over the weekend when he tweeted this photo of himself holding a plate of tacos with the caption nice to come home on a Friday night to home cook steak tacos. After a long week working@.latinawife heart emoji salsa dancer emoji Straight marriage was so cool. That's awesome. On Monday, Duffy went back to his home turf, Fox News, to reassure the nation that there was no real danger when Newark stopped being able to talk to the planes. Now, were planes gonna crash?
- [14:01]
Mark Carney
No. They have communication devices. They can see other air traffic, like GPS in the airplanes. But it's a sign that we have a frail system in place and it has to be fixed.
- [14:11]
John Lovett
But it's not at all guaranteed that the planes wouldn't crash. It's incredibly lucky that they didn't. You can only say they weren't going to because we're here in the future where they didn't. LatinoWife the blackout was so stressful, the air traffic controllers union confirmed that multiple employees took trauma leave following the incident, adding to the delays at Newark. Sky death, they call it, when, for a moment, you pierce the veil and see into God's sky lounge. Also, none of you get any ideas about trauma leave. We're making podcasts. The worst thing that happens here is a drag queen cancels for the thousandth time. While it was initially believed that the newer gap in communication was 30 seconds, new information suggests air traffic controllers might have lost contact with pilots for as long as 90 seconds. An airplane can go over 10 miles in 90 seconds. In 90 seconds, you could make minute rice one and a half times. You could have sex with enough time left over to make minute rice. And on Tuesday, NBC News reported that air traffic control had lost radio contact with aircraft going in and out of Newark at least eight or nine times in recent months. Going no contact. Great for a breakup. Terrible for airplanes. So spiraling. Bad for both. A little champagne before noon. Good for both. According to their source, a Newark airspace controller, in at least two instances since August, air controllers lost both radio and radar contact with aircraft landing at Newark, forcing them to land the plane with the most powerful instrument of all, prayer, said the source. These planes with people with lives in them are flying and no one is talking to them. They were flying in the dark and it was like a cone of silence. We couldn't hear them, but I'm sure they were calling us. Oh, is that why my pilot was screaming? I thought he just found out about how expensive dolls are now. On Tuesday, WhiteHusbandShawn Duffy blamed the Biden administration for prioritizing woke instead of replacing the system themselves.
- [16:15]
Mark Carney
On top of that, they were focused.
- [16:16]
John Lovett
On things like racist roads. They were. They literally spent time concerned about the.
- [16:22]
Mark Carney
Word cockpit and changing cockpit to flight deck.
- [16:26]
John Lovett
It's not funny.
- [16:27]
Mark Carney
That's actually what they spend time on.
- [16:29]
John Lovett
Two things can be true at the same time. Sean, that does sound like us, unfortunately, overhauling the traffic Control system requires money from Congress, not saying cockpit is free, which is crazy because it's fun to say, and free cockpit. Trump, meanwhile, took time during his UK trade deal announcement to blame Pete Buttigieg for air safety issues and to take a swipe at him for being gay.
- [16:59]
Donald Trump
And when they took over, Buttigieg, who has no clue, you know, he drives to work on his bicycle with his, with his, in all fairness, with his husband on the back, which is a nice, loving relationship. But he didn't have a clue. This guy didn't have a clue. And he's actually a contender for president. Between him and Crockett, you can have.
- [17:19]
John Lovett
That party and we will. Trump's mind is interesting here. He wanted to get the bike in and he wanted to get the gay in. So now they're riding the bike together. But it's pretty, but it's, but it's pretty rich coming from Trump when the only way he'd be able to ride a bike is if he was deployed by a drone onto a bike already in motion. And his wife pops up at the White House with the frequency of an older actress who plays a sitcom lead's sassy mother. We have a genuine problem that has gotten worse over decades. It's a failure of Democrats and Republicans over many administrations, including Trump. It will take time and effort and competence to fix it. It's absolutely true that you cannot lay what is happening at the feet of Sean Duffy latinawife. But when the news moves on and like the clapback phase is over, we're, we can't count on these people to do the slow, hard, grinding work of fixing these problems already, already they've made it worse. According to the Washington Post, the FAA lost important career employees with vital institutional knowledge earlier this year due to doge cuts. Duffy and Elon Musk apparently got into an argument in the White House over it. As documented in the Times, Duffy said, I have multiple plane crashes to deal with now, and you people want me to fire air traffic controllers. Trump, of course, chimed in with his solution. Just hired geniuses from mit. On Thursday, Duffy shared details about the overhaul. A three to four year plan to fix America's air traffic control system. If we don't actually accomplish the mission that we're announcing today, said Duffy. You'll see Newarks in other parts of the country. Just one big Newark as far as the eye can see. Not on the radar system, of course, but out the little window. But until then, don't think of it as more chances of a crash. Think of it as more opportunities for miracles. Miracle on the Bayonne Bridge. Miracle on the Garden State Parkway. Miracles. You're gonna find out which pilots have the Sully gene. Speaking of believing in magic. Trump is nominated Dr. Casey Means, a wellness influencer who dropped out of her surgical residency program for U.S. surgeon General. Means has no government experience. Dropped out of her residency because she became disillusioned with traditional medicine, hogs various supplements and other products on her website, and has close ties to, of course, Health Secretary RFK Jr. But don't worry, she's a libra. On Tuesday, the Supreme Court gave the Trump administration the go ahead to enforce their trans military ban. Let that be a warning to transphobes everywhere that there are about to be thousands of trans people the government trained to kill out of uniform using whatever bathroom they fucking want. And on the second day of the papal Conclave, white smoke poured forth from the Sistine Chapel. A new Pope is upon us. Can't believe the Conclave ended in just a day. I bought so many conclave snacks. Now I'm just some idiot eating communion wafers and hummus for no reason. And for the first time in history, the Pope is an American. Yeah. Usa. Usa. Usa. I don't know if you did it, Robert. Francis Prevost from Chicago has taken the name Leo xiv. Ete ursi. That's Latin for Go Bears, according to one of my writers. Catholic boyfriend, said the new Pope. I'm the friggin Pope. Prevost is seen as forward thinking on many issues and oversaw one of Francis most progressive moves, adding three women to the council that chooses the church's bishops. He is, however, still conservative on most church matters and opposes women being ordained as deacons because he's not insane. But. And this just broke before we recorded, NBC News tracked down the new Pope's crazy older brother. He is a wild son of a bitch. He's got, you know, look, he's the Pope, but his brother's his brother. And you're just not gonna believe this freak. Leo's ass is toast. Let's take a look. You said you spoke to him right before conclave. Mm. Tell me what that conversation was like. Really?
- [21:48]
Mark Carney
First we do wordle, because this is a regular thing.
- [21:51]
John Lovett
Okay. Then we do words with friends. It's something to keep his mind off life in the real world.
- [21:59]
Mark Carney
And then we talk about what's going on. And I said, well, do you have your red socks?
- [22:04]
John Lovett
That doesn't go over well all the time.
- [22:06]
Mark Carney
And then just that kind of stuff.
- [22:08]
John Lovett
And I said, well, you're ready for this. I said, did you watch the movie Conclave so you know how to behave? And he had just finished watching the movie Conclave, so he knew how to behave. It's just hitting me. The Pope every day does the wordle. We're all doing the word altogether. At some point in the last couple of weeks, the Pope got down to that last one, and he wasn't sure if it was whack or Shaq, and it was a fucking crapshoot. And he prayed. He said, I think it's probably Shaq. I don't think they're doing whack because of Conclave. The Pope knew how to behave. He knew to pick up the turtles and put them back in the turtle area. He knew that the key to the Conclave is gossiping with the boys. Then he got to the end and he's like, I got to do what? American conservatives. Free American conservatives freaked out about Pope Leo immediately, with Laura Loomer declaring him a woke Marxist population Pope for retweeting a supportive message about George Floyd, which called for the end of hatred, violence and prejudice. They were also mad that Prevost reposted Senator Chris Murphy, as far as we can tell, the first Pope to do that, and shared an essay criticizing J.D. vance's assertion that Catholics must love those closest to them more than others. Tweeted the future Pope, J.D. vance is wrong. Jesus doesn't ask us to rank our love for others. That's specifically why J.D. vance joined Catholicism, though, to create a strict hierarchy of human beings where he is near the top. If he wanted to spread love everywhere, he'd be a Unitarian or a bisexual. Poor JD Vance, New Pope, same old, being hated by the Pope. Time for J.D. vance to reset the sign. It's been zero days since the Pope fucking hated you. On Tuesday, a fighter jet worth $67 million fell off the USS Harry S. Truman and plopped into the sea. It was the third time this specific aircraft carrier lost a fighter jet in recent months, and the fourth major disaster if you count a collision in February. For God's sake, Hegseth, turn the Woke back on. You think the Navy can operate without woke? Get real. Look at those little outfits. When reached for comment, the Navy said defensively, it'll be fine, while slowly lowering the plane into a circus tent filled with rice. Over in tech news, OpenAI founder Sam Altman rolled out the new Crypto Orb, a spherical device that scans a user's retina and creates a digital id, verifying they aren't a Bot or AI program. Also, it tells you when and how you'll die. It wasn't even designed to do that. It's just kind of a fun bonus. It figured out on its own. We have a clip. No, thank you. I'm all set. Thank you. No. Look, I'm not a strong or big man. I'm not a particularly brave man, but let the historical record show I was dubious of the crypto orbs. Here's Altman fielding questions about his new device.
- [25:43]
Mark Carney
What happened to your eyes?
- [25:45]
John Lovett
Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see. It is Event Horizon. It is a movie that fucked me up because I was too young. It was on television and I was too young, and I wasn't ready for Event Horizon. You think you're going to a little science fiction romp in space. The ship goes to literal hell. You think, oh, wow, it's the guy from Jurassic park and he's going back. He's going into space. That's exciting. I can handle that. Cannot, cannot handle it. At a recent party in San Francisco, Altman invited attendees to scan their retinas in exchange for his cryptocurrency named World. The event was a smash success, save for the one awkward moment when the orb started screaming about a coming American pope and a darkness that would envelop the world. But somebody was like, hey, crypto orb, play Fleetwood Mac. And the party was back on track. In non orb news. In case you were wondering why Marvel's Thunderbolts had an asterisk in the name, the studio spoiled the film by swapping out their billboards revealing that the Thunderbolts are, in fact, the New Avengers. In case you weren't wondering why Marvel's Thunderbolts had an asterisk in its name, Congratulations. It sounds like you have a rich and fulfilling life. Speaking of a rich and fulfilling life, Bravo announced a new addition to the Real Housewives pantheon. The Real Housewives of Rhode Island. You laugh, but the first time somebody hurls a bowl of piping hot clam chowder at a Pilates instructor, you'll all be on board. But there's no cream in this, says Jasmine the Pilates instructor. Because you got got Rhode island style, bitch. The Golden Globes added a best podcast category for 2026. And just to get out ahead of it, now, I'm not jealous. I'm happy with them. I think they deserve it. It's a great show. And finally, the world's tallest and shortest dogs. A pony sized Great Dane named Reginald and a Palm sized chihuahua named Pearl. Meant for a playdate arranged by Guinness world Records, Reginald soon received a second Guinness honor, history's fastest time for eating a chihuahua. Nah, they had a good time. Congrats to Reginald and his new hashtag, latinawife. Coming up next is Carrie Kennedy Silver. She brings the comedy gold. We'll be right back.
- [28:26]
Donald Trump
Kate.
- [28:26]
Mark Carney
Don't go anywhere. There's more of love it or leave it coming up.
- [28:30]
John Lovett
Love it or leave it is brought to you by Armor Colostrum. We're always talking guts on this show, so why not give your guts its best foot forward, its best food forward with armor Colostrum. Probiotics and other supplements are touted as a gut health solution, but most products on the market are dead before they even reach your gut. Armor Nick Colostrum naturally fortifies your entire gut wall system and optimizes your whole body microbiome, which helps guard against irritants that can trigger digestive issues and compromise your immune system. Research has shown that Colostrum helps to enhance nutrient absorption. Armor Colostrum can help stabilize blood sugar levels, modulate hormones, ignite your metabolism. Colostrum bioactives have also been shown to reactivate hair follicle stem cells, activate collagen production, promote hair growth, enhancing skin radiance. You hear that? Radiance. Plus, we've worked out a special offer for our audience. Receive 15 off your first order. Go to tryarmor.com love it or enter love it to get 15 off your first order. That's t r Y a R m r a dot com. Love it. Ryan Reynolds here from IT Mobile with a message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments. But that's weird. Okay, one judgment. Anyway. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment.
- [29:54]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month. Required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full terms@mintmobile.com and we.
- [30:14]
John Lovett
Please welcome to the stage. She's not the president, but she did once head up the state. It's the phenomenal Carrie. Kenny Silver. Hi. Thank you for being here. So nice to meet you.
- [30:28]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Thank you for having me.
- [30:30]
John Lovett
So you star in Tina Fey's new series the Four Seasons. Your character is a woman who's about to start a new chapter after decades of marriage. Whether she wants to or not as somebody who's about to get married for the first time. This won't happen to me, right?
- [30:44]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, why? Why? No, John, why would it? I mean, it happens. Listen, this lady, you'll see, we'll watch the show, roll the clips. And by clips, I mean the whole season. No, I mean, no, it's not gonna happen to you because listen, it's a cautionary tale that after 20 years of marriage, which is where I currently am in my marriage, 20 years, there's work to be done. You can't just sit back and expect it's just gonna run like a well oiled machine if you don't oil it. So I am giving a life talk. It's on love and marriage.
- [31:28]
John Lovett
So you've been married for 20 years.
- [31:29]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I've been married 20 years.
- [31:31]
John Lovett
So my friends have been married a long time and they're all saying that watching four seasons is great. But it hits because it's dealing with stuff that happens in long relationships. And they're like, oh, you're so lucky you get to watch it early in a relationship. Cause you'd be like, this wouldn't be us. It could never be us.
- [31:49]
Carrie Kenny Silver
There are many cautionary tales in the show, but also I think you're gonna find pieces of your life already in there. Everyone has said to me who's watched the, the series, I feel very seen, but not necessarily in a good way.
- [32:04]
John Lovett
Yeah, I watched the first episode and I love, I love a show. I love just watching well observed couples doing normal couple stuff. I just do. And it captures a bunch of different ways you'll see couples. And I like that there's a gay couple because I always just feel like as I have a certain gay chauvinism, which is that on some fundamental level I do believe men and women truly hate each other and that I do. And that it just actually makes no sense. None of you should be together. You're not compatible. Fundamentally, you never were.
- [32:44]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I'm gonna call my husband really quick.
- [32:45]
John Lovett
Yeah, but you know, the gay couples, things aren't always.
- [32:51]
Carrie Kenny Silver
They're not always peachy.
- [32:52]
John Lovett
Not always peachy. And that's not. And like, you know, not. I don't.
- [32:56]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I saw Le Cage aux Faux. Yeah, I don't remember it.
- [33:00]
John Lovett
Yeah. And I saw the Birdcage.
- [33:02]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, there we. That's what I meant to say.
- [33:06]
John Lovett
So your character gets assigned strawberries.
- [33:10]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Yes.
- [33:11]
John Lovett
Because at some point you wore. The character wore something with strawberries.
- [33:14]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Yes.
- [33:14]
John Lovett
And then you became a strawberry mom because people thought you liked strawberries. And buy a bunch of strawberry stuff. In your real life, was there something you were accidentally assigned?
- [33:24]
Carrie Kenny Silver
No, not really. But it happened to my grandmother, and when she was older, it was owls for her. So it was just very easy to buy for her because it was like, of course we'll get grandma an owl dish towel. She'll love it. And by the time she passed away, she had. Every surface was covered with owls because this woman lived a very long time. But I found out towards the end, didn't like owls. Never liked owls. Hated owls, in fact. But same thing happened as happens to my character Ann. Someone gave her something. Of course she's not an asshole. And she went, I love it. And they're like, well, wait till next birthday. And then the 40 or 50 after that.
- [34:11]
John Lovett
I also do think it's really interesting because this is an adaptation of something from the 70s or 80s.
- [34:16]
Carrie Kenny Silver
From 1981.
- [34:17]
John Lovett
1981, yeah. And I do think there's something important about the distinction between, like, the way boomers dealt with their shit and the way Gen X millennials deal with their shit. And there's something about, like. No, no. We communicate. We've cracked it, unlike our parents. Then you watch this. You're like, you didn't crack anything.
- [34:35]
Carrie Kenny Silver
No, you didn't. You didn't crack shit.
- [34:37]
John Lovett
You didn't crack shit.
- [34:39]
Carrie Kenny Silver
But Tina Fey's writing is so. It is like a laser. And she has these observations that are. So you go, why has no one ever said that out loud before? That's so completely accurate. And it can be about something so minute.
- [34:56]
John Lovett
So you were, as most of the nerds in our audience know, you were starred in the influential sketch group the State.
- [35:02]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Yes.
- [35:03]
John Lovett
Featured in a new documentary called Long Nerds. It's at Tribeca in June. It's almost 40 years after it was founded. Of the Saint's 11 original members, who do you think has aged the worst?
- [35:15]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Depends on the day. Sometimes it's me. No, well, listen, I'm wearing. You know, this doesn't just happen. This is seven hours in the makeup chair. I'm wearing four wigs.
- [35:28]
John Lovett
Well, we're gonna put out the time release. Cause you did. We're gonna do one of those time release things, like they made you a goblin from Game of Thrones. Or what's the one with the orcs? The orc one.
- [35:38]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Mork for Mork.
- [35:40]
John Lovett
Lord of the Rings.
- [35:42]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Gollum.
- [35:43]
John Lovett
Yeah.
- [35:44]
Carrie Kenny Silver
That's what I look like in the morning. Just ask my husband.
- [35:49]
John Lovett
We've had your state co star Thomas Lennon on this show, and I think it's Amazing how well he's hidden his cruelty and vindictive nature from the public eye. Just an absolutely horrible talk about Gollum. Just a horrible monster of a person. Here's some quotes from Thomas Lennon backstage stage that we heard. These are real quotes that he said to us in seriousness, and I would love to get your reaction to them. You call this hummus?
- [36:17]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Yeah, that sounds like Tom.
- [36:20]
John Lovett
I smell a Jew.
- [36:22]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, yeah. Doesn't love the Jews.
- [36:27]
John Lovett
If I don't have a mint tea in my hand in the next five minutes, you'll be calling Madison911.
- [36:32]
Carrie Kenny Silver
He says that all the time.
- [36:33]
John Lovett
He says that all the times. I thought this was interesting. I moved to Wisconsin to get away from all the taquerias.
- [36:39]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, yeah. But that's just because he has a digestion issue.
- [36:44]
John Lovett
I thought it was a race thing, but it's mostly a digestive thing.
- [36:49]
Carrie Kenny Silver
It's a dairy issue.
- [36:50]
John Lovett
He said to me, you look like you've eaten dog meat before. What kind of insult is that? What kind of person is that?
- [36:55]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I don't know that that's necessarily an insult. He might be giving you a compliment that you look like you're, like, an adventurous person.
- [37:02]
John Lovett
Oh, I've taken advantage of the.
- [37:03]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Take a look on the bright side. I have been around this guy since I was 16.
- [37:06]
John Lovett
That must be how you make it work.
- [37:08]
Carrie Kenny Silver
You just look. Open mind.
- [37:09]
John Lovett
You gotta have an open mind. He said, how long is this gonna take? I'm parked in the intersection. Yeah, that's crazy.
- [37:17]
Carrie Kenny Silver
These are classic Leninisms.
- [37:20]
John Lovett
So what would you say to somebody trying to get started in comedy now versus what it was like when you got started?
- [37:28]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Well, I don't really know what I would say to people except, make your own work. I mean, that's what it's always been. That's what it was for us. It's just the. You know, the vehicle to make the work was different. We used to do it on abacus, you know, now you have these fancy teletypewriters.
- [37:46]
John Lovett
You know, that's amazing because you used. Because you're doing all the math just by hand to make the state, and people don't realize that it's a lot of computation.
- [37:54]
Carrie Kenny Silver
It's a lot of computation.
- [37:55]
John Lovett
A lot of computation. Figures was a bit. I think that was about the state.
- [37:59]
Carrie Kenny Silver
That's right. That's right. It was a documentary. And sometimes if we want to make jokes real fast, we'll rub two sticks together.
- [38:08]
John Lovett
Wow.
- [38:08]
Carrie Kenny Silver
You just better hope it's not a damp day. No, you know what? Speaking of Alan Alda. Which you weren't.
- [38:18]
John Lovett
We were. No, actually we were.
- [38:19]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Aren't we always all up here speaking of or thinking of Alan Alda? No. The original Four Seasons movie was written and directed by Alan Alda. And you were asking earlier about the guys haven't totally lost. This is a thread that I'm expertly weaving in front of your eyes.
- [38:38]
John Lovett
And you know what? I see the tapestry.
- [38:40]
Carrie Kenny Silver
The abacus is going. And I'm gonna get to the point. No. He called me and said, my grandson is graduating from university and he wants to get into acting. I don't know what to tell him to do anymore because the business is vastly different from when he started. Would you sit with him? I said, oh, would be honored. Of course. So I drove to lunch with him, not thinking anything. Oh, it's gonna be lovely. I'm gonna meet Alan's grandson. And I got to lunch and I sat at the table and I was like, shit. I don't know what to tell you either, because I guess if you would like to follow an example, get a group of idiots together in college and then get your own TV show. Like that doesn't happen. But make your own work. Now there's the YouTube.
- [39:28]
John Lovett
Yeah. Make your own work. I have heard of it.
- [39:30]
Carrie Kenny Silver
All the kids are doing it.
- [39:32]
John Lovett
That's where I see. That's where I get my workout and recipe tips. Yes, but also comedy.
- [39:37]
Carrie Kenny Silver
But also comedy. There's such thing as comedy recipes.
- [39:44]
John Lovett
Carrie.
- [39:45]
Carrie Kenny Silver
What?
- [39:45]
John Lovett
You've been a sweet faced staple in Hollywood film and TV since the early 1990s. It's time to test our audience mastery of your IMDb page in a segment we call Was I in this? Okay, here's how we're gonna play it. Today we're gonna try an experimental version, which is you're all gonna play together. Okay. And you're just gonna yell true or false. All right, let's kick it off. Kerry was only one of two original women members of the state alongside Wendy McLennan. Covey. True, false. You were the only female original founding member of the state. Aw, that's a cute pic.
- [40:28]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I love that you cropped all the cigarettes out of that photo.
- [40:31]
John Lovett
Yeah, we're like Spielberg taking the guns and cigarettes out of E.T.
- [40:34]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Yeah. Cause E.T. was a heavy smoker.
- [40:38]
John Lovett
He was a. Yeah. Why do they think he had that leathery skin? You don't just get that skin.
- [40:42]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Think about it.
- [40:44]
John Lovett
You talked in the Last Laugh pod about having a more masculine energy than some of the men in the state. Do you think that energy has been A strength.
- [40:51]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Well, out of context, that sounds curious. What I was. I believe the original question in that podcast was, what was it like being the only woman in the group? And my point always was we just saw ourselves as this sort of, you know, amorphic group of comedy juice. And so I just happened to be a girl, but, you know, I played guys, and I still do, and they play women. And so it wasn't like, oh, guys, the girl's here. You know? Well, at least I hope it wasn't like that.
- [41:22]
John Lovett
That's what Thomas said. That's what Thomas said.
- [41:24]
Carrie Kenny Silver
He said it was like that.
- [41:25]
John Lovett
He said, have you ever met the girl?
- [41:26]
Carrie Kenny Silver
God, I really thought I knew him till tonight. It's over. I FaceTimed him all the way here. That's true.
- [41:35]
John Lovett
Really?
- [41:35]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Yes. Yes.
- [41:36]
John Lovett
So you're still that close?
- [41:37]
Mark Carney
Yes.
- [41:38]
John Lovett
Oh, what'd you FaceTime about?
- [41:40]
Carrie Kenny Silver
He was having a glass of wine. We were talking about the four seasons, and we were talking about how excited we are for the state documentary premiered. Tribeca.
- [41:52]
John Lovett
You know what I realize as I get older? Is that, like, one of the great parts, maybe the greatest part of getting older is old friends. Yeah. There's no replicating it when you're young. You can't understand it when you're young, but to have a friend for 40 years is an extraordinary thing.
- [42:11]
Carrie Kenny Silver
It's extraordinary. And to also still really, truly like each other and want to work together, it really is. It is not lost on me. I have a 19 year old son, so I'm watching him sort of all of the kids, all the state kids are about the age or older than when we all met. I met Tom at 16. My son's 19, and it's crazy to look at this young person and think, God, I was that when we met and said, hey, let's be friends forever and always work together. And then we did. Yeah, it's crazy.
- [42:43]
John Lovett
It's cool. Do you want to do your next one?
- [42:46]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Yeah, I do. My character married serial killer Craig Pullen moments before his lethal injection and may have been impregnated with his child on Reno911. That's right, people. My character Trudy Weigel was wed to serial killer Craig Poland seconds before his demise. There's a photo of me making out with the air because he had passed away.
- [43:14]
John Lovett
Hello, Reno911. Are there any more Reno911s on the horizon? What do we know?
- [43:20]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I will never say never about Reno.
- [43:22]
John Lovett
Yeah.
- [43:23]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Niecy Nash seems to be the one that sort of rallies the group every time and we were in a press line for something. It was unrelated to Reno. She was ahead of me, and she sort of winked at me during one of her interviews and passed on. And I got to that interview, and they said, so Nisi just announced that Reno911's coming back. I was like, it is better pull out my polyester.
- [43:50]
John Lovett
Next up, Kerry played Jerusha Sturgess, wife of Glenn Sturgess, played by Mark McKinney.
- [43:58]
Carrie Kenny Silver
This is true. I play.
- [44:00]
John Lovett
Oh, only some of you guessed cowards. Mark is also a beloved figure in sketch comedy because he was in Kids in the Hall. What. What's the. Like, how do you think about the Kids in the hall energy versus the State energy?
- [44:13]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Well, we're very in. We. We intermingle these days. So there's, you know, back when. Back in the day, I think we used to sort of think to ourselves, like, oh, those guys. Like, we were so. Just because we were in separate groups, like, well, you know, rival comedy, like the Shark Jets. That's it. But we were. We had numbers on our side. There was never any.
- [44:35]
John Lovett
You could have be. I think this. I think, in a fight, in part just mostly because of the numbers. You could have taken the Kids in the hall, guys.
- [44:40]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I think it's not too late for that, and I think we could monetize it.
- [44:47]
John Lovett
I think there have been worse ideas Right. Pitched on this show. Kind of State versus Kids in the hall smackdown. Yeah. And I do think I would like to see. It has to be as the chicken Woman. I think the fight needs.
- [45:01]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, no. Everybody's their most iconic character.
- [45:04]
John Lovett
Yeah, for sure.
- [45:05]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Yeah. So Louis is dipping his balls into Mark McKinney's crushing heads.
- [45:10]
John Lovett
Yeah.
- [45:10]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Yeah.
- [45:11]
John Lovett
That'd be fun.
- [45:11]
Carrie Kenny Silver
That's great.
- [45:12]
John Lovett
That'd be fun.
- [45:13]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I played Paco's wife in Wet Hot American Summer.
- [45:21]
John Lovett
Got it.
- [45:23]
Carrie Kenny Silver
That is a trick question. I did play Paco's wife. It was filmed in the scene when Joe latruglio steals the motorcycle at the campground. David Wayne and I, or Paco and I were inside that tent, and we came out of the tent and had an uncomfortably long conversation about how Paco needed that motorcycle to get to his university where he was studying dentistry. And it went on and on and on. The whole time I was thinking, this is gonna get cut. And it did.
- [45:59]
John Lovett
Let's do one more. You wanna do the last one?
- [46:01]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Yes. Carrie. Oh, oh, oh. The last. Last one. I played PAM on Ellen DeGeneres groundbreaking 1994 sitcom, Ellen.
- [46:16]
John Lovett
True or false? False.
- [46:19]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Trick question. I played Pam in Ellen's slightly less groundbreaking but equally hilarious 2001 sitcom, the Ellen show.
- [46:32]
John Lovett
Now, I wanted to ask about this because I heard that you gave Ellen DeGeneres some questionable advice when you were working together. Would you tell us what that was?
- [46:42]
Carrie Kenny Silver
So Ellen and I became very close while we were filming that show. I adored her, worked with her and Martin Mull and Cloris Leachman, and, I mean, it was just like a masterclass being on that show, and we did not get picked up. And it was very sad. And at the end, Ellen said, you know, she confided in me, I'm thinking of doing a daytime talk show. And I was like, yeah, that's not a good idea. I mean, for real? I thought, that's a real loser of an idea. And so don't ever, ever take advice from me, really, on anything, I think, ever.
- [47:20]
John Lovett
Well. Cause she went on to do a talk show, famously.
- [47:23]
Carrie Kenny Silver
She did.
- [47:23]
John Lovett
Yeah. No, it was like a big thing.
- [47:26]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Are you serious?
- [47:27]
John Lovett
Yeah, it was like her next thing.
- [47:28]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, my God. I'm gonna TiVo it.
- [47:32]
John Lovett
You gotta TiVo Ba boom boom.
- [47:33]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Is it on quibi?
- [47:34]
John Lovett
You can quibi it. You can quibi it? Yeah. You have to watch it in little bits.
- [47:39]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Okay. On my phone?
- [47:40]
John Lovett
Yeah, on your phone in little bits. It's great online for Chipotle, but other than that, it's kind of a weird length. Thank you, Gary. The four seasons is on Netflix now, and long live the state premieres at the Tribeca festival this June. Next up, he's got the magic and me, it's Zach Zimmerman.
- [47:57]
Mark Carney
Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or leave it coming up.
- [48:01]
John Lovett
Love it or leave it is brought to you by one skin. Did you know that by the time summer starts, your skin is already in defense mode? Think about it. Sun exposure, chlorine, dry air from ac, they all wear down your skin barrier, leaving your complexion dull, dehydrated, and more sensitive. Today's sponsor, One skin, has everything you need to keep your skin healthy, hydrated, strong all summer long. Their secret, a proprietary peptide called OS1. It's the first peptide scientifically proven to reduce the damaged cells that weaken your skin barrier and accelerate aging. Their moisturizers and sunscreens don't just treat dry skin and irritation on the surface. They go deeper, helping restore your skin's health at the cellular level. And honestly, it's the perfect time to reset before all the summer skin stressors really kick in. The right moisturizer and SPF can make all the difference. Try one skin with 15 off your first order. Use code Love it. At Oneskin Co. I'm a huge fan of of One Skin and it's really important to get your routine right. Try One Skin. Once you get in the habit of taking care of your skin at night, making sure you're moisturizing, making sure in the morning you're putting on sunscreen, you'll look better, you'll feel better. It'll become a nice part of your day. That's what I like about One Skin. One Skin was founded in 2016 by an all woman team of scientists with PhDs in skin regeneration, stem cell biology, immunology and bioinformatics. I don't know what that is, but it sounds One Skin believes the purpose of skin is not just to improve how you look, but to optimize your skin. Well, I think the purpose of skin is to keep your body bits from falling out into the sidewalk. Oh, purpose of skin care. I get it, I get it, I get it. Believe this. And this is all good stuff. It's got to help you, you know, you got to optimize your skin's biology. That's the purpose of skin care at the cellular level. So it's more resilient to the aging process. One Skin is the world's first skin longevity company. By focusing on the cellular aspect of aging, One Skin keeps your skin looking and acting younger for longer. For a limited time, you can try one skin with 15 off using code love it at oneskin co. That's 15 off oneskin co with code love it. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support this show. Tell them we sent you. Give your skin the scientifically proven gentle care deserves with one skin. That's OneSkin code Love it.
- [50:19]
Carrie Kenny Silver
My name is Lily and I've had Hydrodinitis Suprativa HS for years. I finally found some relief since taking care of relief means I can show up more.
- [50:32]
Zach Zimmerman
Cosentyx Secukinumab is prescribed for adults with moderate to severe Hidradenitis Suprativa hs. Don't use if you're allergic to Cosentyx before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur like tuberculosis or other serious bacterial, fungal or viral infections. Some are fatal. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms like fevers, sweats, chills, muscle aches or cough, had a vaccine or planned to, or if inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen serious allergic reactions and severe eczema like skin reactions may occur. Learn more at 1-84-4-cosentyx or cosentyx.com Ask.
- [51:10]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Your dermatologist about Cosentyx.
- [51:25]
John Lovett
Got a muscle in my guts joining Cary and I now. His specialist called Surprise me. But you can see him coming a mile away. Please welcome to the stage. It's Zach Zimmerman.
- [51:36]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Hello.
- [51:37]
John Lovett
Hi. Hi. Art the surprise. Hi, Zach. Hello.
- [51:42]
Mark Carney
Hello. Hi.
- [51:43]
Carrie Kenny Silver
So cute.
- [51:45]
Mark Carney
I changed in the backseat.
- [51:46]
John Lovett
There's been a wardrobe change.
- [51:48]
Mark Carney
Yes. Got to keep them guessing.
- [51:50]
John Lovett
Got to keep a surprise. Zach, you're here, first and foremost to talk about the outfit. I'm sorry to say we have to talk about it.
- [51:59]
Mark Carney
And it's not the one I'm wearing. No, I don't think.
- [52:01]
John Lovett
For those who don't know, Zach made literal headlines around the world this year with his taste in clothing. Can you explain to the audience what happened?
- [52:11]
Mark Carney
I talk about this against my will, but I was in Florida, and I matched with a guy on hinge, and I. He asked me what I was gonna wear to the date. Cause it's Florida and it's warm outside. You don't know if you wear shorts or not. He's like, what's the vibe? What's the fit Vibe? I don't wanna look like a goober. And so I sent him a video of myself. I sent a picture of what I was gonna wear, and then I made a little get ready with me video. Cause I thought it'd be cute. Like, get ready with me to go on our date and see. We're getting in awe. That's my one true love in the audience right there. And then after I sent it, I was like, it'd be so funny if he canceled. Like, it'd be literally, objectively hilarious. And then seven minutes later, he was like, I don't think we're.
- [52:51]
John Lovett
Let's roll the clip.
- [52:53]
Mark Carney
Yeah, you might side with him to.
- [52:56]
John Lovett
Go on a date.
- [52:59]
Mark Carney
I don't know. It's kind of giving. How much light do we show? I do have an adorable sweater. See, I could have worn this. Too warm for that. It's giving. Goober. Oh.
- [53:22]
John Lovett
So.
- [53:23]
Mark Carney
And wait, to be clear.
- [53:26]
Donald Trump
And then.
- [53:26]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Dick pic.
- [53:27]
John Lovett
Yeah.
- [53:29]
Mark Carney
Oh, Lead with the gold, Carrie.
- [53:31]
John Lovett
Lead with the.
- [53:31]
Mark Carney
The hilarious thing is we're in an active text thread. And he, seven minutes later, is like, hey, as if we haven't spoken in two years. I think it was chatgpt that he, like, wrote that with.
- [53:44]
John Lovett
Oh. Like, he. So he said chatgpt. Hey. I'm disgusted how to let this guy down.
- [53:51]
Mark Carney
I think it was a fi. I don't know.
- [53:53]
John Lovett
Of course you wear that out and about. You were so sweet and adorable in that video.
- [53:59]
Mark Carney
Thank you.
- [53:59]
John Lovett
And here's what I genuinely like. First of all, I saw it. It's fucking hilarious. I'm sorry, but it is. And it made me so. I had a genuine realization when I saw your video. I Did I look like this? It's a small one, but it was gay, which is. I think he might be. I think I might be gay.
- [54:19]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I think I'm a gay man now.
- [54:21]
John Lovett
Yeah, you've been made gay by this. Welcome, welcome us and Barry Diller.
- [54:26]
Mark Carney
Welcome to the revolution.
- [54:30]
John Lovett
Pretty neat.
- [54:31]
Mark Carney
Now the dick pic comes out.
- [54:33]
John Lovett
But what I. What I was thinking about is sometimes intimacy leads to sexual attraction and sometimes sexual attraction leads to intimacy. But this. What I found so sweet about this is you were sort of being intimate.
- [54:49]
Mark Carney
Mm.
- [54:49]
John Lovett
There was an intimacy to what you were doing. But, like, I don't know what app this was. Your Tinders, your grinders, your OK's, cupid, hinge, hinge, Hinge. But it seems to be a medium where it's just about sexual attraction has to lead to intimacy, but you can't have it the other way around. And that made me sad for people that are trying to find intimacy on dating apps.
- [55:10]
Mark Carney
You just. You don't think it was the shorts. The socks shouldn't have been. I was told last year the socks. High socks were in, and then apparently they're not.
- [55:20]
John Lovett
So, I mean, if you really want to get into it, I actually think you're. The socks are a red herring on the outfit. The socks. The socks are great. You're right. And by the way, amen. Didn't you have to go. Did you have to go through a process of. Of realizing, like, I was always wearing, like, the very low socks? Yes.
- [55:34]
Mark Carney
We were taught to not show the socks.
- [55:36]
John Lovett
If you show socks, you should fucking. You're a failure.
- [55:38]
Mark Carney
Yes.
- [55:39]
Carrie Kenny Silver
You're an embarrassing generational thing.
- [55:41]
John Lovett
Yes. Well, because the previous generation had the high socks and we had the lower socks.
- [55:44]
Mark Carney
I'm playing it again. Good, good, good. Yeah, yeah. Just keep that on a loop. Going, going, going.
- [55:50]
John Lovett
But it took me, my brain a beat to start to actually start seeing the higher socks as better. But now I do things we were.
- [55:57]
Mark Carney
Mocked for as kids being gay. Wearing pants that don't fit are now cool.
- [56:01]
Carrie Kenny Silver
But look, I mean, it matches. You don't look like a lunatic.
- [56:06]
Mark Carney
Thank you. Actually, this is. The anatomy of the outfit is quite beautiful. The socks don't perfectly match. One of them has Bert and Ernie on it. Because my friend works on Sesame Street. The others don't. This is worse and worse. My mom bought me. My mom bought me these shorts. So when someone online was like, did your mom dress you? Yes.
- [56:23]
Carrie Kenny Silver
And my dead grandma knit the short shorts.
- [56:29]
Mark Carney
And the shoes were from her, too.
- [56:31]
Carrie Kenny Silver
They were on clouds also, PS Your house is rad. Like, this guy missed out.
- [56:36]
Mark Carney
That's the ultimate flex. Not my house. Even better, Jack Kerouac's house. I'm at a writing residency in Florida. He lived there for a year with his mom, and they turned his house into a writing residency.
- [56:46]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Shut up.
- [56:47]
John Lovett
That's Jack Kerouac's house?
- [56:48]
Mark Carney
Yeah.
- [56:49]
John Lovett
Who is this? Let's go find him. Let's go find. But like, that was. What did you. What was your. What was your experience of the rejection?
- [56:58]
Mark Carney
Pain? But also, I was like, this is gold. I called a friend. I was like, hey, this kind of hurts. And they're like, he's dumb. And then I was like, this is objectively funny. And so I'll post it online. And when I did, I thought people would laugh, like, ha, you got a date Canceled. But they sided with him and thought the outfit was terrible. And so the headlines were like, comedian and Disney disgusting ensemble gets what he deserves. Sites you didn't know existed. Daily Dot and stuff that shouldn't be.
- [57:29]
John Lovett
Well, they invented a couple new websites to talk about this.
- [57:34]
Mark Carney
They're like, get a clue dot org.
- [57:36]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Look on the bright side. It is going to be the number one selling Halloween costume.
- [57:40]
Mark Carney
Someone did say gay Halloween costume idea. This. I haven't worn it since, but I still own all the pieces. I threw the sushi.
- [57:48]
John Lovett
Oh, I just thought you might have returned some of it to Kohl's.
- [57:53]
Carrie Kenny Silver
No, because if it's. If it's on the sale rack, you can't bring it back.
- [57:56]
John Lovett
It was always a clear sales final.
- [57:59]
Mark Carney
They're hurting right now. Their CEO just did some nasty things.
- [58:02]
John Lovett
Oh, that's a lot to think about.
- [58:03]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Way to bring it down.
- [58:04]
Mark Carney
Yeah, well, actually, he just gave money to someone he was fucking, I think.
- [58:09]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, that's fine.
- [58:10]
Mark Carney
Yeah.
- [58:10]
Carrie Kenny Silver
But I call it business transaction.
- [58:13]
Mark Carney
What?
- [58:13]
Carrie Kenny Silver
That's just called a business transaction.
- [58:21]
Mark Carney
What I loved about this when I hit that was the first draft of the video one. I think it's so funny to make a get ready with me for your own date. That's. And I was like, this is me in a nutshell. If he rejects it. And this was my first date in, like, six months. I haven't gone on any. I was like, let Me, be who I am.
- [58:37]
John Lovett
But see, but see, that's like. This is what I wanted to ask you about, because it's like this.
- [58:42]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I can't.
- [58:43]
John Lovett
There's. We can't.
- [58:45]
Mark Carney
Gary's heart's breaking.
- [58:47]
John Lovett
But we're having the same reaction, which is you, on some intellectual level, understood when you sent this that I am great. And if someone doesn't appreciate this, they're not the right person. But that can't be how it feels. Even if, you know intellectually it's true.
- [59:02]
Mark Carney
Oh, yeah. Yeah. The actual. Oh, someone's been through therapy.
- [59:04]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Let me ask you this.
- [59:06]
Mark Carney
You know it and you have to feel it.
- [59:08]
John Lovett
Yeah.
- [59:08]
Mark Carney
I still haven't cried about this.
- [59:10]
Carrie Kenny Silver
It's. We're gonna do it now. No, we're getting there. If this had happened in person, would it have been worse if he had. If you had shown up at the bar? No, no. But if he had. Oh, and he walked in the door.
- [59:28]
Mark Carney
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really want to imagine this.
- [59:29]
Carrie Kenny Silver
And he saw this. I'm trying to get it out of him. Trying to. We're going to work through this tonight. Would. And he had said to you to your. Like, I don't think this is like. If he had done it, like. Well, I don't think this is gonna work.
- [59:45]
John Lovett
Well.
- [59:45]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Yeah, he's got to see the socks. That would have hurt more.
- [59:50]
Mark Carney
Oh, yeah.
- [59:51]
Carrie Kenny Silver
So.
- [59:51]
Mark Carney
Because then it's like you're smelling me.
- [59:54]
Carrie Kenny Silver
You're. Yeah. Oh, he's smelling you. That's what he. In my scenario, that he wasn't smelling you.
- [59:59]
John Lovett
But wait, Zach, what do you think dating is exactly. What do you think dating is? Go back. What is it about smelling?
- [60:05]
Mark Carney
About the smell. Right. You know, within five seconds, ten seconds, there's pheromones. The same.
- [60:09]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Wait, everyone's agreed.
- [60:13]
John Lovett
You're like.
- [60:14]
Carrie Kenny Silver
So you guys are just walking out around places smelling.
- [60:17]
Mark Carney
Not consciously, but it's like pheromones are.
- [60:20]
John Lovett
Carrie, I didn't like the shape of you guys there. Wow.
- [60:26]
Mark Carney
Oh, she's one of us now. Oh, one of us.
- [60:31]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I mean, all right. I mean, I miss this boat. My husband and I, we didn't walk around smelling each other.
- [60:38]
Mark Carney
Something now you know is smell.
- [60:40]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, I do. All of them.
- [60:45]
John Lovett
That's the beauty of a 20 year relationship. Beautiful, beautiful.
- [60:49]
Mark Carney
Years one to two, they smell great.
- [60:50]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Yeah. Then they start to decay.
- [60:54]
John Lovett
But you haven't dated. You haven't done an online date since then.
- [60:56]
Mark Carney
No. I thought the obvious end of this is, I find true love from this. But it has not happened.
- [61:03]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Well, it's it's not over yet.
- [61:05]
Mark Carney
That's beautiful. Oh.
- [61:09]
Carrie Kenny Silver
That would have been weird.
- [61:11]
Mark Carney
I caught. I caught.
- [61:12]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Think of the Daily Dot headline tomorrow.
- [61:17]
Mark Carney
Carrie gives upand comer mouth. Wait, I need to make fun of you. Oh, sorry. Do we have time for that segment? It's. Zach brings up that John Lovick I voted first off on Survivor a year and a half ago.
- [61:36]
John Lovett
It was less than a year ago, but the.
- [61:37]
Mark Carney
You filmed it.
- [61:38]
John Lovett
Yeah. Yeah. No, this is the one year anniversary.
- [61:41]
Carrie Kenny Silver
This is a real.
- [61:42]
Mark Carney
Does your body remember the trauma I'm getting?
- [61:43]
John Lovett
Because all the people in my. In my season were texting about. It was one year ago today.
- [61:47]
Mark Carney
You're lying.
- [61:48]
John Lovett
No, I'm telling you, the honest to God true.
- [61:50]
Carrie Kenny Silver
This happened.
- [61:51]
John Lovett
It happened. Well, this is what I was gonna. This is how I actually was gonna ask you a question about it.
- [61:57]
Carrie Kenny Silver
No, no. But they're here. But all of them are here.
- [61:59]
John Lovett
They know where their bread is buttered. But no, I was. And the reason I was reminded of this is because I feel like there's, like owning something, which is what I've done about getting voted out first. Then there's intellectually owning it, and then there's really owning it.
- [62:15]
Mark Carney
Have you felt it?
- [62:16]
John Lovett
Oh, yeah. And the answer is it's. It's a work in progress. You were.
- [62:21]
Mark Carney
You were played hard by a big move from Andy. It was not you.
- [62:27]
John Lovett
No, it was. I. I had bad. Sometimes people go home first because they should not be there. Sometimes they get bad luck. I. I'm in the bad luck.
- [62:33]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Sometimes they're Mike White.
- [62:34]
John Lovett
Sometimes. Well, Mike White made it. Mike White.
- [62:36]
Mark Carney
He was fine. All three made it far.
- [62:38]
John Lovett
He made it really far. But if he had. Basically, if they had lost that first challenge, he was already in. He was in trouble. If we had won that first challenge, I could have gotten a purchase. I couldn't get purchase. I couldn't get my.
- [62:48]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Couldn't get a show is really bumming me out tonight. That's real. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for both of you.
- [62:55]
Mark Carney
Did you.
- [62:58]
Carrie Kenny Silver
It's going to get better. The wise old crone says it's going to get better.
- [63:04]
Mark Carney
You actually can't say that. That's our phrase.
- [63:06]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Tom Lennon has been called for me.
- [63:08]
Mark Carney
No, it gets better.
- [63:09]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, I thought.
- [63:13]
John Lovett
No. Yeah. Wise old crone.
- [63:16]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Please welcome the wise old comedy crone.
- [63:21]
John Lovett
Zach, you named your comedy special Surprise Me after the Dunkin Donuts app Surprise me option where the Dunkin Donuts employees choose what flavor of donut you get. What is wrong with you? Pick a Donut flavor.
- [63:35]
Mark Carney
I enjoy randomness and life having a little joy in it here.
- [63:41]
John Lovett
Sure, except you're assuming it's random. But they got donuts to move. You never.
- [63:50]
Mark Carney
I know.
- [63:50]
John Lovett
Never get the seafood special, my friend. All right? The seafood special is the surprise me of the restaurant. Right? Somewhere in that kitchen is a little chalkboard and it's like, we got fucking trout to move the trout.
- [64:04]
Carrie Kenny Silver
The clams are bad.
- [64:06]
John Lovett
The clam shadow out. No Sunday night seafood special.
- [64:10]
Mark Carney
I found when you order it, it tells the team there. It says assorted. It doesn't even say surprise. They're getting a receipt. That's like pick an assorted donut.
- [64:18]
John Lovett
Well, that's an interesting question, is can you have an assorted. Can you have an assorted assortment of 1? Yeah. Where n equals 1, n equals 2. Maybe, but n equals 3. Sure. But n equals 1.
- [64:28]
Mark Carney
This reminded me of another thing I needed to flag earlier. When you played the true or false game, you had a happy face on true and a sad face on false. And that's not necessarily necessarily directly correlated. Why were you happy? Why was the TV happy when true things were said and sad when false things were said?
- [64:45]
John Lovett
I think it was happy when true things were true and false things are false. It is sad when false things were true and true things were false.
- [64:52]
Mark Carney
Oh, beautiful.
- [64:55]
John Lovett
We can all agree that dating apps drain the mystery out of human quest for love. But that's not the only part of life that could use a pleasant shocker too. Zach and Carrie, I'd like your thoughts on which human moments should be a surprise in a segment we're calling on the right side of mystery.
- [65:07]
Mark Carney
Oh, oh.
- [65:08]
John Lovett
Should it be a surprise who is going to be at a party? Should you be able to find out who is attending a dinner party?
- [65:15]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, I have such strong feelings about this.
- [65:18]
Mark Carney
Speak.
- [65:19]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I do want to know and I over explain this is going to come as a surprise to you, but I over explained to people what they're walking into in my home. You're coming over for coffee? I'm gonna be there. My son is out, My husband is at work. Here's what we might have. Have you eaten? Would you like me to have something ready for you to eat? I like information. How long am I have the rest of the afternoon open or I have an hour. I hate going to things and it's like, oh, and here's these 40 people and I'm not prepared. I didn't bring the thing. I'm not wearing the thing. I don't like it.
- [65:58]
Mark Carney
You're not wearing.
- [65:59]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Good night. Well, no, no, because. Oh, I thought I was just coming over for pizza and everyone's in dresses and what is everyone doing here? I didn't know. I would have worn pumps.
- [66:11]
Mark Carney
I agree 1,000%. And I think Partyful. Do you know the Partyful app? Has that reached you? It's a way to know.
- [66:17]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I live out in the sticks.
- [66:21]
Mark Carney
It's a way to know who's. Who all. It's a way to know who all who. I think the phrase is who all going to be there.
- [66:30]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, mom and them.
- [66:31]
Mark Carney
It's an app where it shows the guest list.
- [66:33]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, you're not kidding.
- [66:35]
Mark Carney
No, it's real.
- [66:35]
Carrie Kenny Silver
What's it called?
- [66:36]
Mark Carney
Partyful.
- [66:37]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Partyful.
- [66:38]
John Lovett
Yeah.
- [66:38]
Carrie Kenny Silver
With one L. Oh, I'm so.
- [66:40]
Mark Carney
And then you can also see how many people are coming to your gathering. Because the worst is you invite 100 people and three people show up.
- [66:46]
John Lovett
Yes.
- [66:46]
Mark Carney
This lets you know, hey, 50 people said yes. So then, you know, three people are going to show up.
- [66:50]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, no. Oh, see, this could backfire. Oh, God. Tonight is really upsetting me.
- [66:56]
Mark Carney
But you want one surprise person. You want a little. Oh, sure, sure, sure.
- [67:00]
Carrie Kenny Silver
But I just don't want to show up. And it's, you know, you want to.
- [67:03]
Mark Carney
Wear the right thing, be ready for the right length of time.
- [67:06]
Carrie Kenny Silver
You're understanding.
- [67:07]
Mark Carney
Empty stomach? Full stomach.
- [67:09]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Yes.
- [67:10]
John Lovett
Yes.
- [67:11]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Okay.
- [67:11]
John Lovett
I also. I want to know what we're eating. Like, if friends are invite, if we're. If I'm going to meet up with friends for dinner at their house, they invite me over. That's lovely. I want to know a number of people.
- [67:21]
Mark Carney
Right.
- [67:22]
John Lovett
Are we talking about just us? Is there going to be other guests? How many guests? What are the odds that I'm at a side of the table with nobody I know. But even more importantly than that, I would like to know what we're eating, because this is going to sound ungrateful. A dinner party is a restaurant where you can only order one thing and you can't send it back. And so it's a. And you have to bring something. So you're still, in a sense, paying for dinner. You have to bring a bottle of wine. So you're basically whatever the cost of a bottle of wine is. That's the price of this restaurant.
- [67:55]
Mark Carney
Yeah, I've been to. I brought a friend to what I thought was a more the merrier thing. It's a seated dinner. There's not enough food for him to sit at, and that. That hurt us. I bring the surprise sometimes.
- [68:05]
John Lovett
Sometimes you are Be the Surprise. You want to see in the world.
- [68:08]
Mark Carney
That's kind of fun.
- [68:09]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Well, if you clear.
- [68:12]
John Lovett
What is this?
- [68:13]
Mark Carney
It's like a donut purse that you put around your.
- [68:16]
John Lovett
That's so nice. And it looks like there's playing cards in there.
- [68:19]
Mark Carney
Yeah, there's Luke Babylon, Christian magician, playing cards. I play a character who has a. He's a Christian magician.
- [68:25]
John Lovett
Hell yeah.
- [68:26]
Mark Carney
You can play. I see it in the trash later.
- [68:28]
John Lovett
No, I like it. I'm keeping it. I'm keeping it. It's a lovely gift. There's also the just issue, like some. A dinner party. Sometimes it's like, oh, everybody come over at 6, bitch. What time are we eating?
- [68:41]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Yes.
- [68:42]
John Lovett
And like, I'm fine. Just tell me when. Because I know that when I like. I like cooking more and more and I'm getting better at it. And I really. When I say, like, hey, come over at 7, we're gonna eat, we're gonna sit down at 7:30 or whatever. 6 come to. I really fight to hit that time. And you never do.
- [69:01]
Mark Carney
No.
- [69:01]
John Lovett
You're always 15, 20 minutes late. But are you gonna be close? Are you gonna get that food on the table on time?
- [69:07]
Mark Carney
I eat most of my meals alone for this very reason.
- [69:10]
John Lovett
Yeah.
- [69:11]
Mark Carney
Oh, too much empathy. That made us.
- [69:14]
Carrie Kenny Silver
No, I fully agree with you.
- [69:16]
John Lovett
Would you like to know the manner of your death?
- [69:19]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, no. Do you know it? Is that what this is?
- [69:28]
Mark Carney
There's only one way he can know it, and this is up manner or date and time. I guess it said manner.
- [69:38]
John Lovett
Well, I think.
- [69:39]
Mark Carney
I think you hate when people ask qualifying questions of the hypothetical instead of just playing with the hypothetical.
- [69:44]
John Lovett
Well, no, actually I enjoy when people question the hypothetical because I often do that. Like, because somebody be like, who's one person you'd want to have dinner with living or dead? And it's like, well, if they're dead.
- [69:55]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I don't want to have dinner with a corpse, but.
- [69:57]
John Lovett
Or more explain to me what it's like for them to be alive again. What? What is? Because, like, are they alive? Like in the middle of what they were doing, what they're famous for? Right. Like, I want to meet the Ripe brothers. Right, Right. Are they screaming because they just died?
- [70:16]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Right.
- [70:16]
John Lovett
And are like, where is my family? Oh, they died 150 years ago.
- [70:20]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Said dinner was at 7 and it's 7:15.
- [70:24]
Mark Carney
I don't care who's at dinner. Right. Oh, wait, yeah. No, you don't want to know. I don't want to know. It's a plane crash. I was hooking up with A guy once and I was like, I'm afraid of flying cuz I feel like I'm going to die in a plane crash. He stops kissing me and goes, you do die in a plane crash.
- [70:41]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Listen, you got to get off these apps, sweetie.
- [70:46]
John Lovett
We gotta get you off. We gotta get you off these abs.
- [70:50]
Mark Carney
I stopped paying for them recently.
- [70:51]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Listen, you don't die in a car, In a. In a plane crash.
- [70:56]
Mark Carney
Freudian slip.
- [70:58]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Sorry. I saw John. I saw John's card. So I know how you die, but it's not a car accident either.
- [71:02]
Mark Carney
Show me hers.
- [71:03]
John Lovett
What? Oh, it's. It's gastro. She said she doesn't want to know. It is, but I will say it is gastrointestinal. Listen, the rest will keep.
- [71:10]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Anyone has seen my diet. I do state handfuls of gummy worms back there. It probably is gastrointestinal and it might be tonight.
- [71:20]
John Lovett
Oh, do you think people should. Do you want to know the sex of your baby before the baby's born?
- [71:24]
Mark Carney
I don't plan on having children.
- [71:27]
Carrie Kenny Silver
My ovaries dried up a long time ago. But if I did have one now, I would like to know if it had flippers or flippers. Two eyes.
- [71:37]
John Lovett
Yeah, a real penguin situation.
- [71:39]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I don't care what the sex of your baby is. I'm sorry, but I don't. The gender reveal thing is. It's a new thing. This wasn't a thing when I was coming up. Coming up. I don't know where I was coming from or where I was coming to.
- [71:53]
Mark Carney
Pregnancy scene. Back when we used to roughing it at the mics.
- [71:59]
Carrie Kenny Silver
When my vagina was much younger.
- [72:03]
Mark Carney
Times were different. You put in your time.
- [72:05]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I just think people. I mean, I do love a celebration. I love that we're looking for reasons for gathering and all that stuff, but the idea that, like, we all care. Like, I'll tell you this, as someone who had a baby come out of my body, all I cared about in that moment was that it was a human being who had a heartbeat and could breathe. And I didn't even necessarily care that it was a human being. It's alive, it's. Well, whatever it is, I love it. I'm taking care of it. But I remember people would say to me, did you count his fingers and toes? And I was like, no, I didn't give a shit if he had fingers or toes. He doesn't, by the way. And I do love him a little less.
- [72:46]
John Lovett
A friend of mine, when they had a baby, he said, we're having a girl no matter what she says, which I thought is a good joke.
- [72:55]
Carrie Kenny Silver
How's that marriage going.
- [72:58]
Mark Carney
My friend? I guessed my friends the sex of their kid via. I don't know why I said it this way, but I was like, I think there's a little penis inside. And I was right.
- [73:08]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Were you fucking her at the time? All right, question.
- [73:14]
John Lovett
Thank you, Zach. Surprise me. Is Streaming now on YouTube. When we come back, we'll do a quick round of some spoilers.
- [73:22]
Mark Carney
Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up.
- [73:26]
John Lovett
Love it or Leave It Brought to you by Prolon. Do you love going out with friends? Yes. Does all that eating and drinking take a toll? Oh, it sure does.
- [73:33]
Mark Carney
Still feeling dc?
- [73:34]
John Lovett
Yeah, I know I'm not right because.
- [73:37]
Mark Carney
Recording this on a Wednesday.
- [73:38]
John Lovett
It's a Wednesday. Back on a Saturday.
- [73:40]
Mark Carney
Still not right.
- [73:41]
John Lovett
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- [74:52]
Carrie Kenny Silver
My name is Lily and I've had Hydradenitis Suprativa HS for years. I finally found some relief since taking Cosentyx. Relief means I can show up more.
- [75:05]
Zach Zimmerman
Cosentix Secukinumab is prescribed for adults with moderate to severe hidradenitis supra tiva hs. Don't use if you're allergic to gosentyx before starting starting get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. Like tuberculosis or other serious bacterial, fungal or viral infections, some are fatal. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms like fevers, sweats, chills, muscle aches or cough, had a vaccine or plan to or if inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, serious allergic reactions and severe eczema like skin reactions may occur. Learn more at 1-844-COSENTIX or cosentix.com Ask.
- [75:43]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Your dermatologist about Cosentyx.
- [75:56]
John Lovett
And we're back Crooked Media Reid's newest book, When we're in the Next Generation's Guide to Leadership by Amanda Lippman, is out on Tuesday, May 13. It's a playbook you've been waiting for. Lippman is the co founder of Run for Something. She spent years helping launch young political careers. Now she's sharing the insights that will help the next generation of leaders make an impact without burning out. With wisdom from over 100 next generation leaders like Maxwell Frost and Verma Sharma, when we're in Charge is your roadmap to leadership in the modern world. Amanda Lippman has done an incredible thing with Run for Something. They've sparked a ton of careers. They've helped win a bunch of local offices all across the country. It's a great book. Pre order now@crooked.com books wherever you get your books. It does a lot to be part of the presale to help make sure the book gets on bestseller list so it gets in front of people that might not be hearing it but might really like it. So if you can do us a favor, order a copy today. Also, big news, Love it or leave it is adding new live show dates in LA from June to October. You can come see how the comedy sausage gets made.
- [76:59]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I didn't write that.
- [77:02]
John Lovett
And be there for all the yelling and jaw dropping moments that common decency often prevents us from including in the final edit. So if you're in LA, come say hi. Grab tickets@crooked.com events. All right, we've talked a lot about the terrible and wonderful surprises of life tonight, but there are some things that you shouldn't find out yourself. And inspired by the fact that Marvel decided to name the title of their movie a spoiler for the movie, we decided we're gonna spoil some of life's surprises in a segment we're calling Spoiled Rotten. All right, let's spin the wheel. Do we have a wheel? I thought we said There was a wheel.
- [77:43]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Can we get an audience?
- [77:44]
John Lovett
I didn't say I didn't want a wheel. I didn't say I didn't want a wheel. All right, you know what? I'm faking it. Let's spin the wheel. It's landed on Zach.
- [77:54]
Mark Carney
No, it didn't. It's on carry. Push it.
- [77:56]
John Lovett
Oh, my God. I misread it. It's landed. It's landed on camera.
- [77:59]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, no, it's gotten away. It's killing someone in the audience.
- [78:04]
Mark Carney
What I hate is I paid so much money for improv classes, and I just knowed you so hard.
- [78:09]
John Lovett
You did.
- [78:09]
Mark Carney
You know, it didn't land on me.
- [78:12]
John Lovett
Well, you know, but you can learn from the best right now.
- [78:15]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I got your back, kiddo.
- [78:16]
Mark Carney
Angel.
- [78:16]
John Lovett
So, Zach, what is a. We're trying to. We're spoiling something about getting older. What would I tell my younger self?
- [78:23]
Mark Carney
This is. RuPaul. Did this. Does this. Okay, I wow your unoriginal segment with a fake wheel. For anyone listening, I don't know if that was clear. There's not a real wheel here. I would tell my younger self, you are going to grow and blossom. You are going to. You haven't met all the people that are going to love you yet. And I would encourage young Zach to not masturbate with Mom's conditioner. Because now, every time as an adult that you hug your mother. Just don't do it, little Zach. Just don't. She's not gonna change. It's Pantene through her whole life, and now you can't. Scent is very important to me, and so you're gonna need. Don't do it. It's not worth it.
- [79:16]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Now I understand why those pheromones were such an issue.
- [79:21]
Mark Carney
Lean a little closer, Carrie.
- [79:23]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I am not wearing Pantene, but I'll go get some for you. If it does it for you, I'm a team player.
- [79:29]
Mark Carney
Yes.
- [79:31]
John Lovett
Let's spin it again. Oh, it's landed on me.
- [79:36]
Mark Carney
Oh, no, it landed on Carrie.
- [79:42]
John Lovett
Here's my spoiler.
- [79:43]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, no, it got away again.
- [79:46]
Mark Carney
It's not real.
- [79:48]
John Lovett
Here's my spoiler, which is. I can't believe something happens over 40. I can't believe how long it takes me to stand up and sit down. If I sit for more than five minutes, I have to stand up. I'm still sitting. When I'm standing, I'm still sitting.
- [80:09]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I wanted to see an example.
- [80:10]
John Lovett
It's like this. It's like. If I'm sitting for a long time, I have to. When I stand up. I'm still sitting.
- [80:16]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I see.
- [80:17]
John Lovett
And then. And then you kind of let it go. But you've gotta go slow otherwise. And it's not like I have to go slow. You know what I mean? It's not that in the same way that I could stay up till two in the morning. I simply don't. And I know on some level that I can't even. Even though I could. Have you ever seen or heard about the Exterminating Angel? It's a Spanish film and in it they can't leave, but they don't know why. That's what it's like to stand up at this age, which is.
- [80:49]
Carrie Kenny Silver
That's what it's like being on this show too. Sorry, I had to take it.
- [80:58]
John Lovett
I'll take it. But. But it's like you get up here and then you gotta go real slow. Cause I don't know what happens if I go fast. That was scary. The end there was scary.
- [81:08]
Carrie Kenny Silver
You're smart. It's like you're like in junior high school. I'm a senior. And you're doing it right. That is correct. Because I'll tell you what happens. You pull something. I popped a rib. Laughing. And this was two years ago. And it. It's an issue every now and then. And now I have to sometimes control my laughter. You can't laugh sometimes. Which is why I'm holding it in for all of your jokes tonight.
- [81:42]
John Lovett
Wow. Who told.
- [81:45]
Mark Carney
What was the two year ago joke that broke the door?
- [81:47]
Carrie Kenny Silver
It wasn't a joke. It was nothing. Nothing happened. It was. Why are you. Why are you interrogating? No, I'm just kidding. I just realized I was.
- [81:55]
Mark Carney
It seems like a fake story.
- [81:56]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I was getting so upset. No, my point is it was over nothing. It was Christmas Eve and I was vacuuming and I was reaching for my husband's laptop that was on the motherfucking couch when I had asked him to clean it up. And it's heavier than it looks. So with one hand I was reaching over to grab something. With the other hand I leaned over to grab the thing. My son said something funny. I chuckled. Popped a rib. Listen, I'm 55.
- [82:19]
John Lovett
Do you think maybe one of the issues that your family won't give you Christmas Eve off?
- [82:22]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Yes.
- [82:23]
John Lovett
You leave the fucking house. Yeah.
- [82:25]
Mark Carney
Getting Bob cracked.
- [82:26]
John Lovett
What are you, Donna Reed? What's going on? What are you b. Christmas Eve, you're cleaning up the laptop. What's going on?
- [82:32]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Those guys.
- [82:34]
Mark Carney
But now you have a beautiful memory of a joke. Your son, like, he made you laugh. And broke me.
- [82:38]
Carrie Kenny Silver
And broke me.
- [82:39]
Mark Carney
Yeah.
- [82:39]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, he broke me every which way. I pulled a thing recently, the video of my son's birth. So if we could roll that.
- [82:48]
Mark Carney
Why is. Why is.
- [82:50]
John Lovett
And you didn't pop a R that day.
- [82:51]
Carrie Kenny Silver
No, not that day.
- [82:53]
Mark Carney
Popped your.
- [82:54]
John Lovett
Let's spit it again. It's landed on Carrie.
- [82:58]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, my gosh. What are the odds?
- [83:00]
Mark Carney
No, it's. It broke into the audience. Oh, no.
- [83:04]
Carrie Kenny Silver
They died again.
- [83:05]
John Lovett
What? What's a spoiler? You have for life.
- [83:08]
Carrie Kenny Silver
So five years ago. I wish I could go back and tell baby Carrie. I'm only six. I wish I could go back and tell Kerry that Perhaps you should buy the Audi Q5 and not the Tesla. So listen, I tell you this for a reason. Because I don't want someone to murder me when I'm walking to my car tonight. Because you think maybe I'm a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I thought I was saving the world. And what did I know? Now I know.
- [83:44]
John Lovett
Yeah, I had one, too.
- [83:47]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Did you sell it? See, I tried to sell it and they were like, madam, here are $2.
- [83:54]
John Lovett
Yeah, I'm not going to say I didn't take a pretty bad hit on it.
- [83:57]
Carrie Kenny Silver
This is beyond bad.
- [83:59]
John Lovett
It's crazy. Yeah, you can't give those things away.
- [84:01]
Carrie Kenny Silver
You literally cannot. They won't come pick it up. So this is a situation. Listen, I love the car, but this was a while ago. I don't know, guys.
- [84:11]
John Lovett
Mine rattled.
- [84:12]
Carrie Kenny Silver
I'm doing a GoFundMe to prefi.
- [84:17]
John Lovett
No, that's a meaningful cause.
- [84:18]
Carrie Kenny Silver
It really is. It's not just to have the car hauled off, but it's to buy me a new Audi Q5.
- [84:26]
John Lovett
No, that's so important. That's so important. It's a really noble and worthy cause.
- [84:30]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Do it for our country. God, everyone's so uptight about it.
- [84:37]
Mark Carney
So to recap, don't buy a Tesla. Don't jack off with Mom's conditioner. And stand up slowly.
- [84:43]
John Lovett
Stand up slowly.
- [84:45]
Carrie Kenny Silver
You gotta stand up whatever age you are.
- [84:47]
John Lovett
Whatever age you are. Well, I still sit like I'm in my 20s, but the body knows, the body remembers. The body keeps the score, famously. And so it's like I sit, like cross legged, hunched over on my laptop, writing all of this great material with the help of an incredible team that does most of the work. And. But I'm still in a posture. Pro, you know, Then. Then I'm all up.
- [85:10]
Mark Carney
I've stood up. I mean, I'm what, 36? But I'm still starting to feel things. And I'll stand up and it'll be asleep and I have to just pose for a minute or two.
- [85:18]
John Lovett
Do you think that because you're tall? Do you realize that because you're tall you're probably aging slightly faster?
- [85:22]
Mark Carney
Oh, we die. Yeah. That's why we're worshiped.
- [85:25]
John Lovett
We're here.
- [85:25]
Mark Carney
Not as long.
- [85:26]
John Lovett
Cuz you're like a.
- [85:27]
Mark Carney
There aren't tall grandpas.
- [85:29]
John Lovett
Cuz you're like a grand. Yeah, there are no tall grandpas. You're like a Great Dane of sort of.
- [85:32]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Oh, God, that's such a great title for your book. There Are no Tall Grandpas.
- [85:37]
John Lovett
That's.
- [85:37]
Mark Carney
Yeah, yeah, Enjoy. I'm gone tomorrow.
- [85:40]
John Lovett
Wow, that's an interesting. That's an interesting direction.
- [85:41]
Mark Carney
I'm home on Sunday.
- [85:43]
John Lovett
My first special was about how fun it is to get a random donut. My second special is about how I'll be dying young and there are no tall grandpas.
- [85:51]
Carrie Kenny Silver
But I thought I was dying since I was young and hearing you say, you're over 40 and you feel that way, I felt like that in my 20s. I felt like that. Tom Lennon has referred to me as Mother since I was 20. But not in the like, sexy goddess, like mother, I want to fuck her kind of way, but in the like, I'm giving you soup and I wear a house coat and I have curlers kind of mother like. Because I'll stand up and I'll go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- [86:15]
Mark Carney
Oh, careful.
- [86:15]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Yep, okay, I'm good. Because it's like I'm dizzy and my. I don't eat a lot. Can I have that donut?
- [86:28]
John Lovett
And that's our show. Thank you to Gary, Kenny Silver and Zach Zimmerman. We'll see you next week at Flappers in Burbank. We have a great show lined up. There are 542 days until the midterms. Have a great night and have a great weekend. If you're already scrolling endlessly, which we know you are, don't forget to follow us at Crooked media on Instagram, TikTok and all the other ones for original content, community events and more. You can also find Love it or leave it on YouTube for videos of your favorite segments and other YouTube exclusive content. And if you want to type our praises or rip us a new one, consider dropping us a review. Finally, you can join Crooked's Friends of the Pod subscription community for ad free. Love it or Leave it and Pod Save America episodes, subscriber exclusive pods and more. Sign up@crooked.com friends love it or Leave it is a crooked media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, Bill McGrath is our producer and Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Coffin, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre and Will Miles are our writers. Jordan Kanter is our editor, Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Chercher. Thanks to our designer Sammy Cadorna Rees for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And thanks to our digital producers David Tulls, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, Delon Villanueva, and Rachel Gajewski for filming and editing video each week. Our head of production is Matt de Groat, our head of programming is Madeline Herringer, and our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.
- [88:14]
Mark Carney
It's Love it or Leave it.
- [88:26]
Carrie Kenny Silver
The Essential Mango Coconut Freeze it makes its appearance at the dinner party right when the night could go either way. Between Nice Evening and legendary served in eight perfect stoneware bowls to the sounds of circa 1950 bossa nova seconds, a good debate and an impromptu round of Never have I Ever Follow. It's gonna be a late one. The Essential Evening Extender made possible with Vitamix My name is Lily and I've had Hydradinitis suprativa HS for years. I finally found some relief since taking Cosentyx. Relief means I can show up more.
- [89:12]
Zach Zimmerman
Cosentix Secukinumab is prescribed for adults with moderate to severe Hidradenitis suppurativa. Don't use if you're allergic to Cosentyx. Before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. Like tuberculosis or other serious bacterial, fungal or viral infections, some are fatal. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms like fevers, sweats, chills, muscle aches or cough had a vaccine or planned to or if inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, serious allergic reactions and severe eczema like skin reactions may occur. Learn more at 1-844-cosentix or cosentyx.com Ask.
- [89:50]
Carrie Kenny Silver
Your dermatologist about cosenty.