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- [00:01]
John Lovett
Stephen Colbert here with Becca, my producer,
- [00:03]
Lee Eisenberg
talking about the new Odyssey Odyssey.
- [00:06]
George Wallace
Do you say Odyssey?
- [00:06]
Lee Eisenberg
Odyssey, Odyssey. The new Odyssey. Sounds like you're from Boston.
- [00:09]
John Lovett
You're saying Odyssey Odyssey. The new Odyssey podcast, the Odyssey app.
- [00:13]
George Wallace
It's for free and you can get
- [00:14]
Lee Eisenberg
it and listen to your podcast in the Odyssey app, including the Late Show
- [00:18]
George Wallace
Pod show with you. Stephen Colbert.
- [00:20]
John Lovett
Follow and listen to the Late Show
- [00:21]
Lee Eisenberg
Pod show on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [00:32]
George Wallace
When it's time to scale your business, it's time for Shopify. Get everything you need to grow the way you want, like all the way. Stack more sales with the best converting checkout on the planet. Track your cha chings from every channel right in one spot and turn real time reporting into big time opportunities. Take your business to a whole new level. Switch to Shopify. Start your free trial today. When the flu is keeping you up at night, don't try to tough it out. Knock out your flu symptoms with NYQUIL Intense Flu. You got this.
- [01:10]
John Lovett
It provides powerful relief of your flu
- [01:12]
George Wallace
symptoms so you can sleep well through the night. NYQUIL Intense Flu. The nighttime sniffling, aching, aching fever. Best sleep with a flu medicine. Use as directed. Keep out of reach of children. Love it or Leave it. It's Love it or leave it.
- [01:35]
Lee Eisenberg
What's up, Los Angeles? Welcome to Love it or Leave It Live at Dynasty Typewriter. We've got a great show for you tonight. Neal Brennan is here. The great George Wallace is here. But first, let's get into it. What a week. On Tuesday, President Donald Trump delivered the longest State of the Union on record with a runtime of an hour and 47 minutes. That is the same length as the Sixth Sense, except in this case, it was like we were dead the whole time. And somewhere around the 70 minute mark, my soul left my body and began to ponder what is the state of our union? And it can be hard to see it through all the wildfire, smoke and pepper spray. It's tough on the visibility. Yeah, that's all right. But we just did a few pond Save America shows down under, and it was stark to see America through the eyes of Australians because everything is upside down. But also in Australia Vision, all Americans are wearing cowboy hats. So that was fun, though most of us can't pull it off. A question we got over and over is, do Americans understand how much damage you're doing right now? And I knew they were referring to Trump, even though we had absolutely wrecked that zoo's bathroom after trying kangaroo milk. And the answer is unsatisfying yes, we totally do. It's honestly kind of rude for you to keep bringing it up. We're guessing your country. But the real question comes next. How could you elect Trump again? What is wrong with you? And it's like, okay, Australia, what's wrong with us? Why'd you let all the koalas get chlamydia? Pretty judgmental there for a country that gave all the koalas chlamydia. I heard a story a few years ago. Someone asked Henry Kissinger before he died and went to heaven if he was worried about Trump. And he said, no, I'm worried about the ghost of Chilean dissident Orlando Letelier, whose mangled form appears above my bed nightly. All he does is whisper, November 29, 2023. November 29, 2023. What happens on that day? What happens? No, what Kissinger actually said was, I'm not worried about Trump. I'm worried about the person who comes after Trump. As if Trump has ever made anyone come after him. When Henry Kissinger died on November 29, 2023, he couldn't have known that the person after Trump we had to worry about was Trump. And so Trump delivers a State of the Union After a year in which he co opted the Justice Department, profited billions from the presidency, destroyed aid programs around the world, empowered nut job to oversee public health, pardoned insurrectionists who've gone on to commit heinous crimes, forced Americans to pay huge tariffs to punish other countries, attacked the independence of the press, unleashed poorly trained trigger happy immigration agents, and broke the record for Sephora points buying foundation for his hand. How could we vote for this? The truth is, we didn't. Yes, many rang the alarm about how much more dangerous a second Trump term would be. But for some reason, when Democrats who had spent two years claiming Biden was capable of serving another term also said that Trump was an existential threat to our democracy, the warning rang hollow. It's like if the boy who cried wolf also kept claiming that his feeble, ailing grandfather was the only person we could trust to fight the wolf. And so Trump's numbers are in the toilet. 39% approval rating 57% disapproval on the economy 59% disapproval 59% disapproval on immigration A new poll by the Argument found that among Trump voters who disapprove of the job Trump is doing, a quarter seem to have a case of amnesia and now deny ever having voted for Trump in the first place. Some say they voted for Kamala, some say they didn't vote at all. Some of them were quite old. They might actually have dementia. This is, in fairness to them, this is the state of our union. America is living under a right wing populist without the populace. It's not populism. Buckle up. It's flopulism. And in lieu of an actual mandate, in place of any real support for his program, he tries to grab at the prestige and legitimacy of the office in the country itself. That's why we have moments like this.
- [05:58]
George Wallace
People are asking me, please, please, please, Mr. President, we're winning too much.
- [06:03]
Lee Eisenberg
We're not used to winning in our country until you came along. And I say, no, no, no, you're going to win again.
- [06:10]
George Wallace
You're going to win big. You're going to win bigger than ever.
- [06:14]
Lee Eisenberg
And to prove that point, here with
- [06:16]
George Wallace
us tonight is a group of winners
- [06:18]
Lee Eisenberg
who just made the entire nation proud. The men's gold medal Olympic hockey team.
- [06:26]
George Wallace
Come on in.
- [06:30]
Lee Eisenberg
Must be nice to meet guys with worse bone spurs than him. But America's prestige doesn't transfer to Trump. Trump's stink just transfers to America. Like when the dog gets a hold of your childhood sleeping bag. That's the dog sleeping bag now. Because of course, Trump didn't just invite the men's hockey team, he makes a hack joke about having to invite the women's hockey team too, or else he'll be impeached. I don't think he needs to be impeached for this. I think he should have to put on pads and ice skates and hit the ice for one period of hockey with those women. Members of the men's team apologized for laughing at the joke, even though it was really good. Despite what the Internet says, it's a really good joke. After the women's team captain, Hillary Knight called it distasteful, that led to this moment when Jewish sports legend Jack Hughes was asked about the apology. Yeah, I mean, like, you're in the moment.
- [07:23]
George Wallace
The President calls like, we're blaring, we're blaring the music. Like, then they paused the music and then the President calls. So I don't think, like, obviously it
- [07:33]
Lee Eisenberg
is what it is now, but like,
- [07:36]
George Wallace
we have so much respect for the women's team, they have so much respect for us, and we're all just proud
- [07:40]
Lee Eisenberg
Americans and instead of drowning in hala and pussy, he's dealing with this shit. And I think it's good. We make 23 year olds push their bodies to the breaking point for national glory, and then when they succeed, present them with a genuinely novel, civic and moral test. I mean, it doesn't mean they don't have to pass it. The women pass the test. It sucks that accepting an invitation by this president is a political act, but it is a political act. And just as I know hyper engaged liberals nod when I think say that you, my dear listeners, agree when I say that far more people less engaged in politics find it annoying that our response to these men laughing at a dumb, crass joke and accepting an invitation to the State of the Union is us bringing politics into everything. But it's hard for us to give up scolding when scolding is all we have left. It's like telling the guy in 127 hours that it's not good for him to drink piss. Yeah, piss was not his first choice. And besides, all of this is because Kash Patel is a loser who is too insecure to see that even if someone politely offered perhaps the locker room celebration of the first Olympic gold in men's hockey in 46 years is not for you. Look at this footage. Why is he acting like he just landed the quad axel or whatever happens in Aki? But this is what they do. Absent genuine achievement or glory, they try to take it from others. Trump adds his name to the Kennedy center, and then all the performers cancel. But even though they've now closed the Kennedy center, the Kennedy Center Honors will continue renamed. And this is true. The Trump Kennedy center honors. JFK's brain must be rolling over in its grave. A jar RFK Jr keeps in his pickle fridge. Trump even wants a gold coin with his own image to be minted as part of America's 250th anniversary. Anniversary. I don't know why that's the specific image he wants. He looks like a wizard trapped him in that coin. It's a terrible picture, but an obscure federal entity called the Citizens Coinage Advisory Committee has sort of wrench in those plans. They are refusing to discuss the gold coin at its last monthly meeting. Look at these sweet people. A group of numismatists and historians and nerds have shown more courage than senators and titans of industry. It's very inspiring until you find out how many of them are in the Epstein files. They're not. They're not. I made that up. I mean, I didn't check, but I made that up, said the committee's chair, Donald Scorincy. Only those nations ruled by kings or dictators display the image of their sitting ruler on the coins of the realm. Well, said Donald, you're a giant among numismatists. And listen to this. That's the sound of Donald and his wife making sweet, sweet love that night. Lot of coins. Look, I don't find it particularly useful to make comparisons to Nazi Germany in the early 1930s. It's not fair. Those people went to the opera. But I do see a creeping fatalism about America. That Trump won't allow the midterms to proceed. That Trump and his acolytes are behaving as if they'll never face accountability. And maybe they know something. Something we don't. On Thursday, the Washington Post reported on a draft executive order written by Trump allies to declare a national emergency in order to federalize our elections and ban mail in voting. It is very dangerous. There is no guarantee that these schemes won't succeed. We have to take it seriously. But if I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times. Trump doesn't have the guys. He doesn't even have the whole men's hockey team. Five of them declined the invitation to the White House, including a guy named Brock Nelson. He lost a fucking Brock. And the women would clearly rather dine with Stanley Tucci. And who wouldn't? Look at him. Tucci's perfect gay in every way except the sodomy after a few Levon cellos. Who knows? Who knows? Trump added 10,000 ICE officers and 10,000 guys. Putting down an Xbox controller to pick up a mask and a gun can hurt a lot of people and do a lot of damage. But there were 4 million brown shirts by 1934 in a country a fifth of the size of the US I'm not comparing ice to Nazis. The Nazis were Hugo Boss. I'm just saying. I'm just saying that what makes the capitulation by corporations and media companies and law firms and Republicans in Congress so pathetic? These guys are Browning their shorts without a brown shirt in sight. You sure? Look at Ted. Look at. Look at Ted Cruz pathetically defending Cash Patel. Why was Cash at the Olympics? Because the FBI has an important job protecting security. There's. And I got to say, you know, it's interesting. You see Democrats right now who are
- [12:47]
George Wallace
paying focus groups saying, how do we connect with.
- [12:50]
Lee Eisenberg
With real people? How do we not seem like a bunch of PUFTA elitists?
- [12:55]
George Wallace
And then.
- [12:56]
Lee Eisenberg
Then they turn around and get really mad. I can't believe Cash Patel was drinking a beer and celebrating with. With the American hockey team after winning the gold.
- [13:05]
George Wallace
You know what?
- [13:05]
Lee Eisenberg
I would have loved to have been in that locker room. And I don't know, a guy on Planet Earth that wouldn't have been thrilled to be celebrating. If we've learned anything from Ted Cruz liking a porn tweet on 9 11, it's that the man loves two things. International incidents and getting off easy.
- [13:21]
George Wallace
But
- [13:24]
Lee Eisenberg
the FBI director had important work in the Dolomites in the Italian Alps. Of course, a lot of important business for the FBI director. Listen, here's the thing. It's get a lot unfair. The FBI director was gonna be in Milano Cortina anyway. Why not stop by at the hockey game Coincidentally happened to be you happened to have a couple important meetings with Italian and. But Cash is in real trouble. He's trying to stay in Trump's good graces after this scandal by firing the FBI officers who investigated the Mar? A Lago documents case. But that has only made him even more despised inside the FBI. Which is how we learned from leaks that Cash's constant use of the jet may have hindered investigations after Charlie Kirk's killing and the shooting at Brown University. See, if you build trust with your team, you don't have to worry that they'll leak how much delicious, delicious kangaroo milk you put on the company card. Pam Bondi is in a similar spot. You can try and cover up the most damning evidence about Trump in the Epstein files, but I just don't think Pam has enough people to get that cover all the way over. First reported by independent journalists Roger Sullenberger and Nina Burley and then confirmed by NPR and Ms. Now the DOJ is withholding several Epstein files concerning an alleged victim of Trump who said she was sexually assaulted by Donald Trump sometime between 1983 and 1985, when she was between 13 and 15 years old. Yes, according to the alleged victim, those claims were included in an internal PowerPoint slideshow about the Epstein investigation. It says Trump forced her head down to his exposed penis, which he subsequently bit. In response, Trump punched her in the head and kicked her out. Pam Bondi's decision to add a star wipe to the slide was particularly disturbing. The allegation made in 2019 was credible enough that the FBI interviewed the alleged victim not once, but four times about it. Files from three of those interviews, more than 50 pages of material have apparently been removed from the public database in violation of the Epstein Files Transparency Act. But I bet Kash Patel is going to have something to say about it the second he gets his tongue unstuck from that Italian chairlift. On Thursday, Hillary Clinton testified in front of the House Oversight Committee about the Epstein files, only to confirm that she had zero information about Jeffrey Epstein and didn't recall ever meeting him. Shame. They could have bonded over their common interests, like taking trips with Bill Clinton and having terrible email security. Of course, Hillary Clinton doesn't know Jeffrey Epstein. He had a specific alarm set if she got within 500 miles of that island. Here's the alarm. Meanwhile, Bill Clinton will answer all of the committee's questions right after he takes a massive bite of this peanut butter sandwich. Which, of course, brings us to Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs. The Hershey's company, which makes Reese's candies, has apparently been using a chocolate flavored coating that legally cannot be referred to as milk chocolate instead of actual milk chocolate in some seasonal Reese's products. Yes, the chocolate is in chocolate now. What's Kristi Noem gonna feed her dogs? Brad Reese, the grandson of the inventor of Reese's Peanut Butter cup, slammed Hershey's on LinkedIn and told the New York Times, I had to actually throw it in the garbage. That's the first time in my life I' ever thrown a product of Reese's out without consuming it. Go off. Brad Reese, who, and I really checked, is not in the Epstein files, said Reese. I felt embarrassed to even wear anything that says Reese's on it. Okay, first of all, how. What, how much merch Brad Reese are you wearing? Hershey's removing the chocolate from its chocolate peanut butter is a minor offense in the annals of what's gone wrong in America today. But I say this sincerely. This is how Trump happened. And maybe literally, artificial chocolate flavored coatings have been known to cause fetal Trump syndrome. A group of people in a conference room somewhere weighed the pros and cons and the inputs and the outputs and didn't care enough to protect something that they didn't build but claimed to value, Even if it's just a holiday treat. Maybe they convinced themselves they didn't have any other choice and that anybody else in their shoes would have done the same. And we ditched the foil and profits rose and nobody cares. And everybody's cutting corners, looking for ways to get ahead, get one over on each other, eking out the margins, and bit by bit, we accept less. We give up what makes us special. As the chocolate becomes chocolatey candy and the cashiers become kiosks and the chatbots do the homework and the billionaires are in the files and the president is a monster. I say we draw the line. I say we make chocolate chocolate again. So why don't you meet me in Hershey, Pennsylvania? It will be wild. We're just gonna have to wait for the signal from Brad Reese.
- [18:38]
George Wallace
This is my quiet song. Take that, Mom.
- [18:42]
Lee Eisenberg
All right, we've got a great show tonight. Coming up next is George Wallace and Neil Brennan. This episode is sponsored by Better Help International Women's Day is a time to celebrate progress, but it's also a time to acknowledge the invisible burdens many women carry. It is easy for emotional health to slip through the cracks when you are busy looking after everyone else. Remember, your needs are just as important. Therapy provides a dedicated space to nurture yourself just as you nurture the world around you. Take a moment to celebrate a woman in your life who has a lasting and memorable impact on you. Hey, let's celebrate our moms, you know. Boy, what a lady. Listen, here's the thing. Men, women and everybody in between, you need therapy. BetterHelp has quality therapists who work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. 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H E L P.com Love it love it or leave it is brought to you by Sundaze Is your dog's food created to maximize your dog's quality of life or to extend the food's shelf life? Think about it. And while you do, let us tell you about Sundaes. Sundaes was founded by a veterinarian and mom, Dr. Tori Waxman who got tired of seeing so called premium dog food full of fillers and synthetics. So she designed sundaes air dried real food made in human grade kitchens using the same ingredients and care you use to cook for your family. Every bite of sundaes is clean and made from real meat, fruit and veggies with no kibble. That means no weird ingredients you can't pronounce and no fillers compared to kibble or other brands out there. Sundae invests 50 times more in its ingredients to ensure premium quality because your dog deserves food made with care, not the interest of cost cutting. And the best part, you just scoop and serve. No freeze or no thawing or prep. No mess. Just nutrient rich clean food that fuels their happiest, healthiest days so you get more of those days to share together. I give pundit air dried dog food. It's great. You gotta give your dogs quality food because it keeps them young and healthy. Leo John's dog has been eating Sundays and loves it. It's delicious. Whenever Luca goes over there, she instantly sprints to the bowl and just tries to steal it. It helps with things like keeping a more calm and focus. You get a softer coat, less itching, helps with eye boogers, better stool and wait till you hear what it does for the dogs. That means make the switch to Sundays. Go right now to sundaysfordogs.com loveit50 and get 50% off your first order. Or you can use code LOVEIT50 at checkout. That's 50% off your first order at sundaysfordogs.com loveIT50 Sundaysfordogs.com loveit50 or use code LOVEIT55O at checkout. Hey everybody. Before we get back to the show, Love it or Leave it is coming to D.C. on April 23rd. We're back at the Lincoln Theater. It's a new tradition. We love doing a big live show during the White House Correspondents Dinner Weekend. It has been such a fun show. We are less than two months out. We're gonna have really awesome guest line up, get your tickets. They're on sale right now@crooked.com events. And do me a favor, check out the brand new episode of our new subscriber only episode of Pod Save America. Pod Save America Only friends, if you haven't listened yet, you're missing out. This new episode was me and Tommy. We covered a lot of the news. It's a loose fun episode of Pod Save America just for friends of the pod. We talked about Trump creating some tension between Marco Rubio and J.D. vance, a new NPR investigation about the Epstein file, and we answered a bunch of great questions from subscribers about MAGA influencers AI the Pit we had a really good time. It's a great show. So check it out. If you subscribe to Friends of the Pod, you get a bunch of content that's just for subscribers, like this new show like Polar Coaster with Dan Termini online. Plus you get ad free episodes and you help to support us as we are building an independent, pro democracy media company. It genuinely helps us. This is what you can do to support what we're trying to build and to get good information in front of of more people. So become part of the community. Subscribe to friends of the pod@crooked.com friends. And we're back. My guests tonight are a comedy legend and a very good comedian. Please welcome to the stage George Wallace and Neal Brennan.
- [23:40]
John Lovett
Hi.
- [23:40]
Lee Eisenberg
Hi. Hi.
- [23:41]
John Lovett
Hi, how are you?
- [23:42]
Lee Eisenberg
Hi. Come on in.
- [23:42]
John Lovett
This is George Wallace.
- [23:43]
Lee Eisenberg
George Wallace, come on. Thanks for being here.
- [23:46]
George Wallace
This is George Wa. I, Neil Brennan.
- [23:48]
Lee Eisenberg
All right, come on through. Come on through. Come on through. Good to see you.
- [23:52]
George Wallace
Sit over there. You know more than I do.
- [23:54]
Lee Eisenberg
No, no, no. This is. This is the right order.
- [23:56]
George Wallace
I love the typewriter. That is so good. That's an Underwood typewriter.
- [23:59]
Lee Eisenberg
Is it?
- [23:59]
George Wallace
Yeah. I'm so old, nobody knows what an Underwood typewriter is but me. You just making yourself comfortable, putting your foot and in the chair.
- [24:07]
Lee Eisenberg
It's my chair. I own the chair. I own the chair. I own the chair. I bought the chair.
- [24:11]
George Wallace
My mom would kill you if you put your foot in the furniture. I lower these. Well, that's not too bad.
- [24:15]
John Lovett
Love it, love it, love it. This furniture looks like it was left over from a. From a shutdown mental hospital.
- [24:27]
George Wallace
Shut down. Shut down. Yes.
- [24:29]
Lee Eisenberg
It has the kind of forced cheeriness for people that aren't allowed to have sharp things. I see what you mean. That's a good point.
- [24:37]
George Wallace
I think it looked like it come from temu.
- [24:41]
Lee Eisenberg
It does have the Temu look.
- [24:42]
George Wallace
It does. Yeah.
- [24:43]
Lee Eisenberg
Yeah. But it's holding together. Okay. I think it's okay. It's a podcast, so it's an audio medium.
- [24:49]
George Wallace
Yeah. It's not a real TV show, so why have real furniture?
- [24:52]
Lee Eisenberg
That's right. It's not a real TV show. That is such an important point. This is not television. This is so far from television. George Wallace, I mean this with great respect. Did you expect Jon Lovitz with a Z?
- [25:04]
George Wallace
I swear to God, it's the only reason I came down. I had no. He just told me when I walked in there. I'm going, I'm looking. I said, who's that on stage? I said, john Lovis. That's not John Lovitz. I came because John Levitz and I shared the same birthday. July 21st.
- [25:20]
Lee Eisenberg
Oh, wow. All right.
- [25:21]
George Wallace
But see, you're younger. I'll talk to you. Go ahead. I'm happy to be here because I'm an older guy, and, you know, there's a thing called ageism, so we have to come out every now and then. Try to stay in. In the know.
- [25:39]
Lee Eisenberg
Yeah.
- [25:40]
George Wallace
Try to stay woke. So that's why I'm coming here with you. If I don't know something tonight, if you ask me any question, that's another reason I came, because Neil is here, and he's one of the smartest comedians ever in America, probably ever.
- [25:52]
Lee Eisenberg
Yeah.
- [25:52]
George Wallace
Yeah.
- [25:52]
Lee Eisenberg
I think of Neil. When I think of Neil, I think one of the smartest ever.
- [25:58]
John Lovett
Thank you.
- [25:58]
George Wallace
You're welcome.
- [25:59]
Lee Eisenberg
That sounded bad, but I meant it.
- [26:02]
George Wallace
So.
- [26:03]
Lee Eisenberg
So, George, you created and starred in Prime Video's Clean Slate with Laverne Cox. It was also Norman Lear's last project before he died. Can you just talk about why you wanted to do it? Like, what drew you to it?
- [26:16]
George Wallace
No.
- [26:19]
Lee Eisenberg
All right, Neil.
- [26:19]
George Wallace
What. What I wanted to do, I'm gonna. Which one of these is this? Mine or this? Is this a beer?
- [26:27]
John Lovett
That's water. No, it's a water.
- [26:28]
Lee Eisenberg
It looks like a beer, but it's a water.
- [26:30]
George Wallace
Well, why would you do that?
- [26:31]
Lee Eisenberg
Because people. Because people want to feel like they're not drinking water at a concert. They want to feel like they're. They don't have to. They can drink something that looks like what everybody else is having without having a beer at a concert. It's a. It's a stupid thing.
- [26:44]
George Wallace
It's very stupid.
- [26:45]
John Lovett
But I'm going to open it for him. Go ahead, tell them about Clean Slate.
- [26:50]
George Wallace
Clean Slate. I want to do. Ladies and gentlemen, are there any people out there? Because they. Look, they're not moving, but they're laughing.
- [26:56]
Lee Eisenberg
They're there, they're there.
- [26:57]
George Wallace
And it's so dark. I don't like dark audiences. I like to see my people. But this is your show, and there's nothing I can do about it. I am a fan of the 70s TV shows, and I wrote for Redd Fox back in the day, so I wanted to reboot Samph and Son. So I went to Norman Lear. I said, let's. You rebooted everything else. Let's do Samph and Son. He said, no way. That's my iconic show. We're not going to do that. He said, but if you come up with a twist with a Great idea. Maybe we can talk about it. So I left. I said, fuck him. So I said. So I left and I went and I was talking to a friend of mine, Dan Ewan, who I work with, and I collaborate on my books. And everything I said to him, we were just talking about. At the time, Orange is the New Black was the hottest show out, and Laverne Cox was the actress. I knew nothing about either, but I had read about it, and it was very popular. Then I thought about, what if I had a son that left Alabama as a countryman old man down south and went to New York to do his thing, to be who he wanted to be, do what he wanted to do. So sure enough, we came up with an idea. Then my son went to New York to do what he wanted to do. And 23 years later, I hadn't heard from my son in 23 years. But I get this call, said, dad, I'm coming home tomorrow. I go crazy because I haven't seen my son in that many years. 23 years. And the next door, ding dong, I go to the door. The most beautiful lady you've ever seen in your life is at your door. I said, lady, I don't know what you're selling the Watchtower. You're not young enough to know what this stuff is, or you're selling Avon, but you got to go. My son is coming home. And she says, dad, it's me. My son has transitioned, and it's Laverne Cox. And so I'm stunned and surprised and shocked. And I just says, well, come on in. And we sit down to talk about it. And she said, the place looks the same. But then it went on in life, telling me about her life, and I'm learning about. She's learning about my life. And I think it's so great for me to be educated on how other people live no matter what they do. And it's important to love people no matter what. And then, even though she has become my daughter, I still got to love my kid no matter what. And that's what the show is always all about. Love. Love trumps hate at all times, and that's what the story is about. And after you saw that moment that she's now a lady, nobody thinks about that in this show anymore, because it's all about love, and it's all about enjoying each other, letting people do what they want to do. But the most important thing is when she told me that she was a vegetarian, that's when all hell broke loose. I could handle the trans. But this bullshit. We eat meat up in here. You understand?
- [29:34]
Lee Eisenberg
You're sitting next to a very.
- [29:37]
George Wallace
Can I.
- [29:38]
John Lovett
Hold on. Will you tell him, if you ever
- [29:41]
George Wallace
touch me again,
- [29:44]
John Lovett
will you tell the John and the good people about the time you went to the fortune teller?
- [29:51]
George Wallace
Listen to me. We drove up here tonight on Melrose. Are you. Anybody there old enough to remember when Melrose was pumping? Was these streets in Los Angeles? It was. Do you know about this, John?
- [30:02]
Lee Eisenberg
Not really.
- [30:02]
George Wallace
Where are you from?
- [30:04]
Lee Eisenberg
I'm from New York, but I've never been to places that are pumping. And when they're pumping, I don't go to them. So even if I. I could be in the dead center of a pumping place, I'm not part of it. I'm listening to a book somewhere. I'm playing a video game. So I don't know about pumping.
- [30:17]
George Wallace
That's why you're so smart, because you're educating yourself. But Melrose was a pumping street. It was just. You couldn't even walk on the street. But. So Jerry said there was so much pumping. Some of you, some of you, you get pumped.
- [30:31]
John Lovett
Next thing you know, you'd be getting punked.
- [30:33]
George Wallace
Pumped. Go.
- [30:33]
John Lovett
I'm sorry. Go ahead.
- [30:36]
George Wallace
See how he can write jokes just like that? So. So, Neil. Yep. What's the story? No, here. You.
- [30:46]
John Lovett
You and your friend Jerry Seinfeld. The year is 1977.
- [30:49]
George Wallace
Yes.
- [30:50]
John Lovett
You drive out in a Ford LTD. That's a Lincoln.
- [30:54]
George Wallace
It was a Lincoln. Don't play me short. It was a. It was a Lincoln show. I'm the real George. I'm the roommate for 13 years. I am the best man in his wedding, and I'm the father of his kid. So now you know the story with being Jerry Seinfeld. So we're walking down the street, 1977, and I see this sign that says, come get your fortune told, Miss Mary or something like that. And I said, because I always want to. You know, comedians are stupid. Ooh, let's go in there and see what the hell this lady's going to say. Say. He says, I'm not going. I said, we. Let's go. He said, I want to go. Say, no shit like that. I'm not going. I says, come on, let's go. I said, let's go. We're going to go. And I said, you got to go now, because she knows we're coming, you know. So we get in there. Excuse me. I don't know how long. I did, like three shows tonight, so I'm hoarse. So. But any Case we get in there and I go over and she reads my fortune. She looks at my hands, ooh,
- [31:54]
Lee Eisenberg
you're
- [31:55]
George Wallace
going to make a lot of money. You're going to make a lot of money. And I'm looking at Seinfeld like, see? And after she finished reading mine, I said, you go. You go. I'm not going. I pushed him over, and he finally stood in front of the lady. She read his poem. She said, oh, my God. Oh, my God. She said, I thought he was going to make a lot of money. You were really going to make a lot of money. And it came to be true. So we're trying to find that lady. And now.
- [32:25]
Lee Eisenberg
That's a good fortune teller.
- [32:26]
George Wallace
Yeah, it's a good fortune teller. It's really. And now he has more money than any comedian in the world. Isn't that amazing? My best friend. If you're going to have a friend, you might as well have the richest one, right?
- [32:37]
Lee Eisenberg
No, that seems cool. That seems cool. Is he good with the money? Does he do fun things?
- [32:40]
George Wallace
He's fantastic with me. Like, we're riding on his plane the other day. We're going to Jet. We're going to la.
- [32:45]
John Lovett
Just stop right there.
- [32:47]
George Wallace
That's all you got to say? We're going to Las Vegas. He says, you need to get your own plane. I said, what the hell we need another plane for. This one's running just good. We don't need two planes. We got this one. So I could talk about money all day, the stuff that he does, but he does with me. We don't have any other friends. We don't have a lot of friends.
- [33:07]
Lee Eisenberg
You don't need any more friends. You got the plane, you're good. The plane's good.
- [33:13]
George Wallace
The plane is good.
- [33:14]
Lee Eisenberg
Yeah, that's a good life.
- [33:15]
George Wallace
I love that. What are you going to say now? You're just looking at me, just enjoying your company.
- [33:23]
Lee Eisenberg
I'm so charmed. It's a legend in my presence. We love that you're a legend in our presence. And you're so charming to have the charisma that's coming off of you, the radiating charisma. It's powerful.
- [33:33]
George Wallace
Don't do that because I love that. I love that when people tell me that. That's why I live. My job is to give back purpose. I love people and I love happy people. And when I see happy people, it makes me happier. And I can't even express myself how much I don't even know the people in the audience tonight. First of all, I can't see them, but I just love being here. And then you have good people in the world. Like, I didn't know who was going to be here. And they said, neil Brennan, I'm coming.
- [33:59]
Lee Eisenberg
Well, it's a good thing you like Neil, even though he's not happy. And he's. And he's a vegan. He's a miserable vegan.
- [34:06]
George Wallace
Are you a vegan?
- [34:08]
John Lovett
That's not important.
- [34:08]
Lee Eisenberg
Had I known he's a vee doesn't eat meat.
- [34:12]
George Wallace
Had I known that, I wouldn't have come. You look at him, he looks like he needs to eat some meat, doesn't he? You need to try some meat. But, you know, the vegans and vegetarians, they're always trying to get us to try stuff. They get us to eat that thing called tofu. And they always have to put some, what do you call it? Some kind of flavors on it. What do you call flavor?
- [34:35]
John Lovett
Spices.
- [34:36]
George Wallace
Spices on it, everyone.
- [34:39]
John Lovett
A lot of meaty. Go on.
- [34:41]
Lee Eisenberg
Yeah, we have spices right on our side of the.
- [34:43]
George Wallace
Are you a big. No, no, no.
- [34:45]
Lee Eisenberg
I'm with you.
- [34:45]
George Wallace
I mean, it tastes like an eraser. You just eat eraser with spices on it.
- [34:49]
Lee Eisenberg
You know what? They've done amazing things with the tofu in just the last couple of years. You gotta check it out. Yeah, but, you know, one time, you
- [34:56]
George Wallace
don't see us taking no ribeye steak, trying to turn it into kale and shit, do you?
- [35:02]
Lee Eisenberg
No, it only goes. Yeah, that's true, Neil.
- [35:05]
John Lovett
Yes.
- [35:07]
Lee Eisenberg
There was a story today. So Governor Gavin Newsom has said that Democrats should try to be more culturally normal.
- [35:14]
George Wallace
Yes.
- [35:15]
Lee Eisenberg
Do you know what that means? What is culturally normal? Do you think Democrats, or do you think these Democrats aren't culturally normal? Am I not culturally normal, George? Do you think I'm culturally normal?
- [35:29]
George Wallace
I think we all are, but I don't know What? More cultural. Maybe it's more cultural. I don't know what he's saying yet. Does. You know what? Just saying.
- [35:36]
John Lovett
I'll take it from here.
- [35:37]
George Wallace
Thank you.
- [35:40]
John Lovett
I, I, I don't know what he
- [35:43]
Lee Eisenberg
means,
- [35:45]
John Lovett
but I, I'll probably end up donating money at some point.
- [35:51]
George Wallace
Don't do that. Please don't donate money. I donated money to one person. All these people know me today. I got 25 requests for money. I gave one person, John Assoff. I mean, also.
- [36:02]
Lee Eisenberg
Yeah, he's a good one. He's a good one.
- [36:04]
George Wallace
He's a good runner. We hope he becomes president one day. But if you give money, $5 to one person, that's all they need $5 of one person. And they always say, this is the last time. As soon as you give the $5, it's right back on you tomorrow.
- [36:15]
John Lovett
They pass your name around.
- [36:17]
George Wallace
They do.
- [36:19]
Lee Eisenberg
Are you getting texts on your phone asking you for money?
- [36:21]
George Wallace
I'm getting texts from people I don't even know.
- [36:23]
Lee Eisenberg
They're texting George Wallace on his phone too. This has got to stop. That offends me. I get texting me.
- [36:29]
George Wallace
I get.
- [36:29]
Lee Eisenberg
I get spamming me. You should not be dealing with this. This should not be happening to George Wallace. The rest of us, fine, but your phone shouldn't be treated that way.
- [36:38]
George Wallace
There's something wrong with you. I don't know what it is. Do you see? He's presenting. You shouldn't be doing this. They should have George Wallace's number. Well, if you ever give them your email and you give them a dime, everybody gets it. And what do you call that? These are leading leads. These are leads.
- [36:58]
Lee Eisenberg
They're lead. They're like the Glengarry. They're the Glengarry.
- [37:00]
John Lovett
These are the good leads.
- [37:02]
Lee Eisenberg
These are the good leads.
- [37:05]
John Lovett
Culturally normal. What do you think he means, John?
- [37:08]
Lee Eisenberg
I think it's about the woke language. It's about privilege and trigger. And that's. I think, in his mind, I agree
- [37:17]
John Lovett
with him in that regard.
- [37:18]
Lee Eisenberg
I think that we are shadow boxing, a way of speaking that peaked five years ago that we're still paying in blood for. That's what I think it is. We're still talking about Kamala Harris raising her hand and people.
- [37:30]
John Lovett
She is brat, though.
- [37:32]
George Wallace
No. For sure.
- [37:33]
Lee Eisenberg
And I don't want to take anything away from Kamala being brat. That's so important that we keep that in focus. Kamala remains brat. That was a wonderful time. We all felt good. Very briefly. That was nice. Remember that, George, When Kamala was brat.
- [37:47]
John Lovett
Don't tell him.
- [37:48]
Lee Eisenberg
We're not gonna. Don't worry. You don't need. It's fine. It's fine.
- [37:51]
John Lovett
Hold on. I have some.
- [37:52]
Lee Eisenberg
I need to.
- [37:52]
John Lovett
To say excuse me. Six weeks ago, I get a WhatsApp message. I don't really use WhatsApp. I'm American. And it says, hey, man, I've been a while. I'd love for you to come to the premiere of a movie I made in D.C. and I'm like, I have no idea who this could be. And I look up Brett Ratner, director of Melania. Met him twice 20 years ago. Boy, did I love that premiere. Go on.
- [38:30]
Lee Eisenberg
Did you think about it?
- [38:31]
John Lovett
Did you think about it once I fig. I didn't. He didn't say what the movie was, so I was like, I don't want
- [38:36]
George Wallace
to see a God.
- [38:37]
John Lovett
And then once I figured it out, I was like, I kind of wish I'd gone.
- [38:41]
George Wallace
You kind of wish I had gone? Why not? I wish I would have taken you.
- [38:46]
John Lovett
Yeah, it would have been pretty great.
- [38:47]
George Wallace
That have been cool.
- [38:48]
Lee Eisenberg
That's an interesting. That's an interesting woke tal. A friend of yours, a good person who you love, gets hired, makes the film. Melania invites you to the premiere of the White House because you want to support your friend, but you don't want to be associated with this film or this administration, but you want to support your friend. Do you go to the premiere or not?
- [39:09]
George Wallace
I don't go. I'm sick that day.
- [39:12]
Lee Eisenberg
He said, george. Yeah. The person in the front row says, your friend's a piece of shit. Okay, probably right. But people got to make money. It's a tough time. You're gonna turn down a grip job because fucking. Because of your woke politics? Must be nice to have food on the table. This guy's trying to make money in Hollywood, gets offered a job you're gonna say no to. He's not a lot of work right now in the fucking town. You get a camera work position, you wanna do it. You trying to learn your craft? You say no, When's the next one gonna come along? Pretty easy to say that in the front row. That's a great place to leave it. We'll be right back.
- [39:43]
John Lovett
Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or leave it coming up.
- [39:48]
Lee Eisenberg
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- [41:54]
George Wallace
And we're back.
- [41:56]
Lee Eisenberg
Neil has an incredible podcast called Box. I've been a guest on it. George has been on it. I bet. Bet George's episode was better than my episode. Best guest you had to be. Had to be. Had to be. Did you really get into it?
- [42:07]
George Wallace
I mean, that's what he told me.
- [42:08]
Lee Eisenberg
That's what he told me. That something similar. Unbelievable.
- [42:11]
George Wallace
Believable.
- [42:12]
John Lovett
Jerry Seinfeld was the best guest. Go ahead.
- [42:20]
Lee Eisenberg
Wow, that's tough to hear. It must be tough to hear. Do you feel competitive with your friend Jerry?
- [42:24]
George Wallace
Am I what?
- [42:25]
Lee Eisenberg
Competitive. Do you feel competitive with Jerry?
- [42:26]
George Wallace
No, we're completely different. He's top of what he does, and I'm top of what I do. And we both. We're both good.
- [42:34]
Lee Eisenberg
It's good to have it. You but. And you root for him.
- [42:37]
George Wallace
Did you just say it's good to have a Jew friend? That's what you said.
- [42:44]
Lee Eisenberg
I want to say that impossibly, it was very close to that, but not what I said.
- [42:49]
George Wallace
It doesn't matter what you heard. You call him Jew. Whatever. I wish everybody had a friend like him. I just love people. I don't care about his religion or his whatever. He's a great guy, and I'm happy to have him as my friend. I called him the Jew man.
- [43:09]
Lee Eisenberg
So, Neil, do you want to. What inspired you to do the podcast?
- [43:17]
John Lovett
I did a Netflix special called Blocks where I talked about my problems, and my buddy Jimmy Carr said, why don't you do a podcast about other people's problems?
- [43:30]
Lee Eisenberg
Problems.
- [43:32]
John Lovett
One of George's problems is shopping. Compulsive shopper.
- [43:35]
George Wallace
Yeah.
- [43:36]
John Lovett
How's that going?
- [43:37]
George Wallace
Not good. I have to. I will buy anything that's on tv. I don't care what it is I got. You come into my house. I got everything from. There's a new cloth you wash your bag with. It's the same one you polish your car with. I buy all kinds of crazy. And in the Ed market. I bought everything in the Ed market. Trust me, you don't want to mix it. Those I don't have.
- [43:59]
John Lovett
You don't have the pump.
- [44:00]
George Wallace
I don't have the pump yet. You have to tell me about it. But I don't have that.
- [44:03]
Lee Eisenberg
This is a different kind of pumping than what was going on on Melrose, I assume. Not that different.
- [44:09]
George Wallace
Sometimes.
- [44:10]
Lee Eisenberg
Sometimes you do it. You're pumping on Melrose, and you're pumping when you get home because you pumped. You got on Melrose.
- [44:14]
George Wallace
You did some pumping.
- [44:15]
Lee Eisenberg
You pumped on Melrose and you said, this pumping's going well. Let's do some more pumping. Back at my.
- [44:19]
George Wallace
Yeah, but I have a problem. I did have a problem, and I still do. With the. With the energy Internet. And I have compulsive shopping disorder, csd. Really? And I just ever buy anything and I look at it and go wonder. My house is full. There's packages. My people called me yesterday in my condo in Atlanta, said, do you want us to take your. They're always saying stupid stuff. I had some doordash food the other day, and the food came, and the concierge called me and said, Mr. Wallace, your food is here. Do you want us to send it out, just stupid shit like that. No, you keep it. You know,
- [44:52]
Lee Eisenberg
but we're talking about the things that block us. And for you it's compulsive shopping. Let's see who in the audience might have a block they could use help with in a segment we're calling Block Party.
- [45:04]
John Lovett
The lights are up.
- [45:04]
George Wallace
They turn the lights up just about 5% up.
- [45:09]
Lee Eisenberg
Anybody have a block they'd like to share? Anything holding them back. It could be emotional, it could be a physical obstacle, a bump in the road.
- [45:17]
John Lovett
Bad habit.
- [45:18]
Lee Eisenberg
Bad habit. Unavailable men. Unavailable men are a block for you. You want a man. I like the unavailable ones. Oh, your problem is you're only attracted. You're interested in unavailable men.
- [45:33]
George Wallace
Yeah.
- [45:33]
Lee Eisenberg
Oh, interesting. And so do you want to only be interested in available men or do you want to get one of these unavailable men? Is there a specific unavailable man you're interested in? Sure, yeah, sure. Yeah. So there's. Is there one man? Are you in love with a married man? Not married. You're in love with a man in a long term relationship. Partnered. Open. Open. Okay. Not poly.
- [45:58]
George Wallace
Yeah, open.
- [46:01]
John Lovett
I mean, first of all, can we start an ice for the, these polyamory people? Can we do that? It's, I mean, it's both obnoxious and incredibly boring at the same time. It's almost impossible what they're doing. You go, oh, this is going to be about sex within five seconds. You want to jump out the window.
- [46:35]
Lee Eisenberg
I like Oban and poly are obviously people that are like, you know, I'm in a long term relationship, but we occasionally sleep with other people. But it's all very like, I can make sense of that. It's complicated, but I make sense of it.
- [46:46]
John Lovett
The people that are like, you know what? I know when people start, I go, hey man, just masturbate for sure.
- [46:53]
Lee Eisenberg
That's great advice at any, for anyone, really.
- [46:56]
George Wallace
That's really good advice.
- [46:57]
Lee Eisenberg
Really good advice. But what I can never comprehend, not that I, I don't judge it in the sense you can do whatever you want. But like, was having one relationship not complicated and time consuming enough? Do you want two relationships at the same time? George, have you ever been in two relationships at the same time?
- [47:13]
George Wallace
I've never been in one relationship at the same time. I'm pretty much a loner and I happen to just love my life, what I do. And as he mentioned, I used to tell a joke, I'm a bisexual. And because the last time I had sex I was by myself and I'm pretty happy.
- [47:41]
Lee Eisenberg
Yeah. He's whatever poly is. You're mono.
- [47:45]
George Wallace
Mono, yeah.
- [47:45]
Lee Eisenberg
Yeah. That's good. That's good. I think I would say Monopoly. Monopoly. You're Monopoly. So you're interested in.
- [47:54]
John Lovett
I should go. Probably close with that, but we'll keep going.
- [47:57]
Lee Eisenberg
You're interested in an unavailable man.
- [48:01]
George Wallace
Does that make sense? First of all, does it make sense at all?
- [48:03]
Lee Eisenberg
Of course it does, but.
- [48:04]
George Wallace
Then why don't you tell a lady you're crazy?
- [48:05]
Lee Eisenberg
Oh, we think you're crazy.
- [48:07]
George Wallace
Okay.
- [48:08]
Lee Eisenberg
We think you're crazy. And it's been years since she found
- [48:11]
George Wallace
a person, so, you know, she's not gonna find an unavailable person.
- [48:14]
John Lovett
Have you slept with him?
- [48:15]
George Wallace
Yeah. Wait a second.
- [48:20]
Lee Eisenberg
Too slightly available?
- [48:21]
George Wallace
Available.
- [48:22]
Lee Eisenberg
More available than we thought a moment ago.
- [48:23]
George Wallace
She just said he was unavailable. No, I've slept with him.
- [48:26]
John Lovett
No, he's. Guys, it's emotionally unavailable. Was the sex especially good?
- [48:31]
George Wallace
Yeah, it was. That's why she want to do it again? Yeah.
- [48:34]
Lee Eisenberg
Yeah.
- [48:37]
John Lovett
I don't think it's about the sex, though, George.
- [48:39]
Lee Eisenberg
We don't think it's about the sex.
- [48:40]
John Lovett
I think it's about the. His unavailability. And she's trying to convert him.
- [48:44]
Lee Eisenberg
Oh, it's like emotional bandwidth.
- [48:47]
George Wallace
He doesn't have a lot of.
- [48:49]
Lee Eisenberg
Oh, right.
- [48:51]
John Lovett
I've used that one. I've used that one.
- [48:53]
Lee Eisenberg
So did you. Are you looking for other ways to say has a partner? Because there's a lot of other ways we could say it.
- [49:00]
George Wallace
Sure.
- [49:00]
Lee Eisenberg
No, there is. There is. A partner doesn't have emotional bandwidth.
- [49:04]
George Wallace
John.
- [49:04]
John Lovett
You know what? He's also got a really full plate right now.
- [49:08]
Lee Eisenberg
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's gonna listen once he gets his head above water in a couple.
- [49:15]
John Lovett
In a couple months after the holidays.
- [49:16]
Lee Eisenberg
I think you deserve an available man. I think you should go find one of those. And I know it seems like there aren't many because of what they're all like, but. But, but good luck out there. I think having to go out and find an eligible straight man is a punishment worse than death.
- [49:33]
George Wallace
Okay,
- [49:37]
Lee Eisenberg
Anybody else have a block? Well, what's your blanc?
- [49:41]
John Lovett
Curious to see how you guys handle this one.
- [49:44]
Lee Eisenberg
He's curious to see how we handle this one.
- [49:47]
John Lovett
Three smart guys. Let's see you go.
- [49:50]
Lee Eisenberg
Resurgence of anti Semitism in America. That's your block. That's what's holding your blind. That's holding you back. There's a lot of issues, I can tell you. Look at. Look. Look at your size. My son. We're gonna have an interesting ride home. My wife and I were at a Restaurant. And we almost got in a fight. Fight with some Palestinians over, you know, how. Whether. How did. Okay, you almost got in a fight at a restaurant with Palestinians. On a discussion. We were having a discussion. Were you at the same table when the discussion began? They overheard us. We overheard them. Oh, so we're overhearing each other at nearby tables and then engaging in what sounds like a very positive and constructive. Well, no, we were trying to be constructed. Constructive, but it's not possible. But something went wrong. Correct. Do you feel as though. And I'm taking very seriously your question. And I Actually, I. And. And I agree with the premise of the question. At the same time, do you feel as though you did things in that conversation to cause that conversation to escalate in a way that was counterproductive? Do you. Only part of it. I.
- [50:50]
John Lovett
No, I was just trying to be honest.
- [50:52]
Lee Eisenberg
But. But two. But people can be honest while getting a fight in a restaurant. Do you think that what you said was as constructive and generous to them as you would have wanted to be treated yourself? I think I was fair. So it was their fault. It was the Palace. There was an argument. I think what happened was the same problem we have now.
- [51:10]
John Lovett
They're just.
- [51:10]
Lee Eisenberg
People are dug in. But you can't talk to people who are dug in without almost getting into fisticuffs at. What kind of food was this place? What kind of food was it? Moroccan. You're at a Moroccan restaurant picking a fight with.
- [51:24]
John Lovett
Well, I just believe that's. I believe that's called a proxy war.
- [51:27]
George Wallace
Go ahead.
- [51:29]
Lee Eisenberg
I'm sorry that you had that experience, and I'm sorry that you had an argument in a restaurant with Palace. But I mean, it's not just that. Of course it's not just that.
- [51:39]
John Lovett
John, how soon are you gonna do another block segment on this show? Just out of curiosity, I feel like.
- [51:46]
Lee Eisenberg
Here's what I think. I think that antisemitism is genuinely a big problem in society. That is not why you personally almost got in a fight in a Moroccan restaurant. No, no, I agree. I agree. What's your name?
- [51:59]
George Wallace
Josh.
- [52:00]
Lee Eisenberg
Josh. Yeah. I want you to know that I relate to you right now, so. Too much. So much. I was at a wedding. I'll tell you something. I was at a wedding. It was a beautiful Jewish wedding. And basically the experience of being at a Jewish wedding in the past year is a loving young Jewish couple desperately trying to hack a day in which the hostages are not brought up. And I say that only because it's. That people don't Want to have a conversation about a terrible and ongoing crisis. And what has happened is, at these events, there is a moment at which something inside of a person over the age of 50 comes alive, and they must talk about it. And so I was at an. It was an hour long wedding ceremony. It was absolutely beautiful. And right before they stepped on the glass, the rabbi was like, and we can't forget the hostages.
- [52:52]
George Wallace
Boom. And.
- [52:53]
Lee Eisenberg
And it was like, oh, fuck. The hostages became part of this wedding. And then they're playing the hora. There was an old man playing an accordion doing the hora. And he finishes the horror. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. And then he gets up and he grabs a microphone and he said, I would be remiss. At which point his daughter, who isn't in the wedding, runs across the room and says, more horror, dad.
- [53:17]
George Wallace
More horror.
- [53:18]
Lee Eisenberg
Play more of the fucking aura. Back on the horror, he was anti Semitism.
- [53:26]
John Lovett
Close.
- [53:26]
Lee Eisenberg
Yeah, Kay's close. Let's do one more personal block.
- [53:30]
George Wallace
Just one more.
- [53:33]
John Lovett
See if you can top it for awkwardness.
- [53:39]
Lee Eisenberg
What. What is your block?
- [53:42]
George Wallace
My block has more to do with creativity. I like to choreograph for fun. I have a cast of nine dancers, and my choreography was originally for 20. I can't get past a point in the song of coming up with new choreography for just nine dancers. No matter what I do, how many times I listen to the song, I just creatively unblocked.
- [54:03]
Lee Eisenberg
Do you see what she did, sir? See how her question was about something going on in her life?
- [54:09]
John Lovett
It's not that different from Israel, though. You know what I mean? It is something of a choreography issue. Go ahead.
- [54:16]
Lee Eisenberg
Yeah. And how to deal with so many different people in one place and there's not enough space. There's not enough space on the stage for all these people. How do you. Yeah, that's actually true.
- [54:25]
John Lovett
Netanyahu can't see past a certain number. You know what I mean? He can't. He's got a block.
- [54:30]
George Wallace
Yeah.
- [54:30]
Lee Eisenberg
So what do you, Neil, what are your thoughts?
- [54:34]
John Lovett
I think you have to decide if I believe the phrase is it's a poor craftsman who blames his tools. Am I right?
- [54:43]
Lee Eisenberg
That's right.
- [54:45]
John Lovett
Look at my man. You got a close with my man.
- [54:49]
Lee Eisenberg
And he's got a lot of tools because he buys them on the Internet.
- [54:51]
George Wallace
Yeah, well, I do. I got all those little gadgets.
- [54:54]
Lee Eisenberg
That's good. That's fine. I like those things.
- [54:55]
John Lovett
And if you're listening to this, you will not be surprised to find out that George is wearing purple leather.
- [55:03]
Lee Eisenberg
It's beautiful. It's a beautiful color. It's actually. It's a. It's like a. It's a. It's a very rich, dark purple. It's like a. It's. It's very nice color.
- [55:11]
George Wallace
Yeah, I just had three. Three more made, so I can. Yeah, I need one at each house. So, you know, lot of.
- [55:19]
John Lovett
Lot of debt you have to make the. You better figure out a way to make the choreography with nine dancers, or you're not a choreographer as far as I'm concerned.
- [55:33]
George Wallace
Yeah.
- [55:33]
Lee Eisenberg
Hey, you got this. Get out of your head, George. Are you a dancer?
- [55:37]
George Wallace
No, not at all.
- [55:39]
Lee Eisenberg
Me neither.
- [55:39]
George Wallace
I'm not a dancer. I used to dance back in the days. I'm a product of the 70s. So, you know, I did go to Studio 54 and all of those places like that.
- [55:46]
John Lovett
How about Ibiza real quick?
- [55:49]
Lee Eisenberg
What about Ibiza?
- [55:51]
George Wallace
Do you know about Ibiza? Ibiza is like Americanized now. It's just like back in the 70s and 80s, Ibiza was a place you could go to. That's where places would go. People would go and just do their thing for 23 years and then call it Daddy. No, it was a place people could go. Mostly foreigners and rich people would go and enjoy themselves and be who they wanted to be.
- [56:13]
John Lovett
George, if you were working in advertising, how often would you go to Ibiza?
- [56:16]
George Wallace
I go like six times a year.
- [56:18]
Lee Eisenberg
Six times a year to Ibiza.
- [56:22]
George Wallace
All of the S sounds are. All of the S and Z sounds. I leave Thursday afternoon when I go over there Friday morning, Saturday and Sunday, come back and be ready for work on Monday morning. It's a lot of fun. That's why I just love to try and people enjoying themselves and having a lot of fun.
- [56:39]
John Lovett
Did people wear a lot of clothes
- [56:40]
George Wallace
in the be the nude beaches? I used to. Ooh wee. Yeah, I used to. I never went nude, but I had on those bikes, those biker shorts. You could see all my junk. But I was still.
- [56:51]
Lee Eisenberg
But you're still demure about it.
- [56:52]
George Wallace
Yeah.
- [56:53]
Lee Eisenberg
You're still keeping your feminine mystique.
- [56:55]
George Wallace
Listen, I was over there back in the day, you're not old enough. But back in the 70s, people would show that junk. That was the start style when you were doing.
- [57:04]
John Lovett
That was a style?
- [57:06]
George Wallace
Yes. Even the preacher would say the men was walking with all your. With your balls showing. People would show their junk. People who's in the same come from the 70s. They remember you for sure, your junk.
- [57:19]
Lee Eisenberg
And that's a great place to say watch Clean Slate on Prime Video.
- [57:22]
George Wallace
Do that, do that.
- [57:24]
Lee Eisenberg
And for dates go to Georgia's social media the Real George Wallace on Instagram and threads at and the blogs podcast is on YouTube and wherever you get your podcast. When we come back, we'll close with a few second thoughts.
- [57:34]
George Wallace
Let's do that.
- [57:35]
John Lovett
I love it. Hey, don't go anywhere.
- [57:38]
Lee Eisenberg
There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by SimpliSafe. Let's talk about something we all want. Peace of mind. For most that starts with knowing your home and your loved ones are safe. That's why you can trust SimpliSafe, the security system millions of Americans rely on to protect what matters most. And this month we're excited to share an exclusive offer with you. 50% off a new SimpliSafe system when you order today. Traditional security systems only take action after someone has already broken in. That's too late. SimpliSafe's Active Guard Outdoor protection can help prevent break ins before they happen. AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring agents monitor your property and detect suspicious activity. If someone's lurking around or acting suspiciously, those agents see and talk to them in real time, activate spotlights and even contact the police before they have a chance to get inside your home. No long term contracts or cancellation fees. Monitoring plans start affordably at around $1 per day, 60 day satisfaction guarantee or your money money back. Name Best home security system by U.S. news World Report five years in a row ranked number one in customer service among home security providers by both Newsweek and USA Today. I've set up a Simplisafe incredibly easy to do, incredibly reliable. The app is great. The customer support, really reliable. So why wait? Predict your home today and enjoy 50% off a new SimpliSafe system with professional monitoring@simplisafe.com Love it. That's SimpliSafe.com Love it. There's no safe like Simplisafe Safe with verbo care. Help is always ready before, during and after your stay. We've planned for the plot twists so support is always available because a great trip starts with peace of mind. And we're back. Now it's time for a segment.
- [59:14]
George Wallace
Yes, we're back.
- [59:15]
Lee Eisenberg
Now it's time for a segment we call Second Thoughts. This is. This is where I regret things that happened during the that bell didn't work
- [59:23]
John Lovett
for the first whatever. The first. The test. Not a test. Bell doesn't work there. Go on.
- [59:34]
Lee Eisenberg
So I have a second thought about where that bell was.
- [59:36]
George Wallace
That's a Temu Bell.
- [59:37]
Lee Eisenberg
That was a Temu Bell. So one second thought. Telling an audience member willing to share something.
- [59:45]
John Lovett
Do you ever see Temu Bell in concert? Go ahead. Remember, we'd see a Teemu Bell and Ibiza junk hanging out. It was incredible.
- [59:55]
Lee Eisenberg
Just junk, by the way. Just the junk.
- [59:58]
George Wallace
Just the junk.
- [59:59]
Lee Eisenberg
Just junk, baby. Just junk.
- [60:02]
John Lovett
It would be masked. You'd be wearing a bottle of lava.
- [60:06]
Lee Eisenberg
Just junk, junk out.
- [60:09]
John Lovett
Teemu Bell. You had to be there.
- [60:11]
Lee Eisenberg
Yeah, yeah.
- [60:13]
George Wallace
Joke.
- [60:13]
John Lovett
That joke was so much better than you gave it. That's fine.
- [60:17]
Lee Eisenberg
Telling an audience member willing to share something deeply personal with us that we think they're crazy. That's. No, I don't regret that one. Oh. Do you have any second thoughts about tonight, George?
- [60:28]
George Wallace
Yeah, no, I'm comfortable. I'm happy to be here. My second thought is that I need another chance to come back and do this again.
- [60:40]
Lee Eisenberg
Wow. We'll get George again. I have a second thought. I think we should have just written our own blocks and faked it
- [60:49]
George Wallace
and
- [60:49]
Lee Eisenberg
just said, wow, what a great crowd. From the fucking crowd. I love all of you and you're all very emotional and sensitive, and you bring what you bring. And I think that's part of the beautiful process of the show. Thank you for being here. Please keep attending. Oh, and the producers think I should be. Should feel like it was a mistake to say whatever I said that led for you to say, george, something's wrong with you.
- [61:13]
George Wallace
No, it's just something wrong with you. That's all I wanted.
- [61:16]
Lee Eisenberg
Yeah.
- [61:17]
George Wallace
You know there's something wrong with you. No.
- [61:19]
Lee Eisenberg
A hundred percent.
- [61:19]
George Wallace
Yeah.
- [61:20]
Lee Eisenberg
I want you to know something. You're right. And I take it there's nothing.
- [61:25]
George Wallace
Been a little off. All of us are a little off.
- [61:27]
Lee Eisenberg
Well, I'm off.
- [61:27]
George Wallace
These people. I didn't know this.
- [61:29]
Lee Eisenberg
I am. I am off. I am off.
- [61:32]
George Wallace
And everybody watching us is a little off. And that's what we're about to show the show is for people that are
- [61:37]
Lee Eisenberg
a little off, for sure. No, the fact that I'm off is why I'm here. Both in the sense that it lets me do this and there's something broken inside me that's always trying to. To get fix it, you know, and maybe I'll fix it here.
- [61:50]
George Wallace
And you get to share it with everybody.
- [61:51]
Lee Eisenberg
Yeah, I get to share it with everybody.
- [61:53]
John Lovett
Yeah.
- [61:54]
Lee Eisenberg
Yeah. Oh, Neil, do you have any second thoughts?
- [61:59]
John Lovett
No. I thought.
- [62:01]
George Wallace
No, your second thought. Not the first thought. Your second thought.
- [62:04]
John Lovett
My second thought. I thought our chemistry was dynamite.
- [62:14]
Lee Eisenberg
We always have great chemistry. Neil and I have great chemistry. Actually, George and I, we have great chemistry. I feel like we had good chemistry. I feel like there was a rapport here. A real, a real interplay, a real banter, kind of. It doesn't have to go two ways. I don't need you to feel it. I felt it.
- [62:30]
George Wallace
I'm so happy to be with you and I just tell you that I'm so happy. Second thoughts? Yes, we have the chemistry. I love you. There's absolutely nothing you can do about it.
- [62:41]
Lee Eisenberg
And that's a great place to leave it. That's our show. Thank you so much to Neal Brennan and Joe George Wallace. We'll see you next week at Dynasty typewriter. There are 247 days until the midterms. Have a great night and have a great weekend. If you're already scrolling endlessly, which we know you are, don't forget to follow us at Crooked media on Instagram, TikTok and all the other ones for original content, community events and more. You can also find Love it or leave it on YouTube. YouTube for videos of your favorite segments and other YouTube exclusive content. And if you want to sing our praises or rip us a new one, please drop us a review. Finally, if you want to listen to Love it or Leave it ad free and get access to exclusive shows, go to crooked.com friends to subscribe on Supercast, Substack, YouTube or Apple Podcasts. Wherever you are, you can find us Love it or Leave it as a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, Bill McGrath is our producer, Hallie Heifer is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus is our senior staff writer and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre and Suba Agual are our writers. Jordan Cantor is our editor, Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Shure. Thanks to our designer Sammy Cadorna Reeves for creating and running all of our visuals which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, David Toles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, Delon Villanueva, Jay Banks, Milo Kimmen, Rachel Gajewski for filming and editing video each week so that you can. Our head of production is Matt To Growth and our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.