All Quiet on the Western Omelet

Summary

Summary of "Lovett or Leave It" Episode: All Quiet on the Western Omelet

Host: John Lovett
Guests: Congresswoman Kamala Harris, Mark Duplass, Zeynep Johnson
Release Date: [Insert Date]

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Introduction and Overview

In the episode titled "All Quiet on the Western Omelet," John Lovett and his co-hosts dive deep into the whirlwind of current political and cultural happenings with their signature blend of humor and insightful commentary. The show kicks off with a lively introduction, setting the tone for an engaging exploration of the week's most pressing and absurd stories.

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Kamala Harris's Media Blitz

Timestamp: [00:24] – [04:43]

Jon Lovett begins by dissecting Vice President Kamala Harris's recent media activities, particularly her interview with Howard Stern. Harris's quirky remarks, such as making Senator Tim Walz "ride a Sibian" and her unexpected fondness for Formula One racing and U2 concerts at the Sphere, are highlighted humorously.

• Jon Lovett [01:42]:
  "Kamala Harris discussed her love of Formula One racing, special case cereal, and going to see U2 at the sphere."

Harris's playful interaction with Lovett further underscores her approachable personality amidst the political chaos.

• Kamala Harris [04:12]:
  "A loser."
  (In response to a provocative question about Trump's 2020 election loss.)

This segment underscores the lighter side of political discourse, showcasing Harris's ability to engage with humor even when topics get tense.

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Donald Trump's Statements and Conspiracy Theories

Timestamp: [04:43] – [11:14]

The conversation shifts to former President Donald Trump, focusing on his recent speeches and the spread of conspiracy theories. Lovett mocks Trump's often convoluted statements, such as his remarks on hydrogen cars and unfounded claims linking hurricanes to Democrats or Jews.

• Donald Trump [09:34]:
  "They want to go hydrogen cars... If they blow up, you are unrecognizable."

The hosts critically analyze the absurdity of Trump's statements, emphasizing the spread of misinformation and its impact on public perception.

• Jon Lovett [10:18]:
  "He sounds like an unprepared best man giving a speech at a grocery store's wedding."

This segment highlights the ongoing challenges in political communication and the prevalence of baseless theories within mainstream discourse.

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State of Congress: Productivity and Internal Conflict

Timestamp: [20:02] – [31:14]

A significant portion of the episode critiques the current state of Congress, emphasizing its unprecedented lack of productivity and internal strife. Kamala Harris shares her frustrations about the legislative gridlock, humorously noting the minimal number of meaningful bills passed.

• Kamala Harris [22:03]:
  "We have been the least productive since 1859... half of them were on these refrigerators and stoves and appliances."

Jon Lovett echoes these sentiments, highlighting the inefficiency and petty conflicts that plague the legislative body.

• Jon Lovett [30:48]:
  "It'd be probably better high School. It'd probably be better if Democrats took back the House."

This discussion underscores the challenges faced by lawmakers in passing significant legislation amidst partisan disagreements.

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Social Media and Viral Trends with Mark Duplass and Zeynep Johnson

Timestamp: [37:00] – [54:19]

Mark Duplass and Zeynep Johnson take center stage to analyze the impact of social media on modern culture. Through their segment "For Whom the Hell Scrolls?" they debate viral phenomena and their implications.

1. Viral Cake Theft:
   A TikTok user accuses a high-end NYC steakhouse of eating half of his homemade cake, sparking a debate on whether such issues should be publicly shamed online.

   • Mark Duplass [45:30]:
     "There are very few empirical truths... this is one of them. But let's face it, the Restaurant fucking rich ripped these people off."

   • Zeynep Johnson [46:10]:
     "You do not go to the Internet about a cake, okay?"

2. Obsession with Menendez Brothers:
   The hosts discuss society's unsettling fascination with convicted murderers like the Menendez brothers.

   • Zeynep Johnson [47:57]:
     "Everybody loves a bad boy. And what's more bad than murder, right?"

   • Mark Duplass [48:28]:
     "There's a gray area here... maybe take it to something that was like 50, 50, like maybe they did it or maybe they didn't."

3. Peculiar Mocktail:
   The duo reacts to a viral drink combining Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapeños, debating its culinary merit.

   • John Lovett [50:36]:
     "I don't like this drink for the same reason I don't like soup."

   • Kamala Harris [51:06]:
     "It's not different than a Bloody Mary."

These discussions blend humor with critical analysis, reflecting on how viral trends shape collective behavior and societal norms.

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Listener High Notes

Timestamp: [68:00] – [71:10]

In an uplifting segment, listeners share their personal triumphs and moments of hope:

1. Listener 1:
   Overcame infertility struggles and celebrates a positive pregnancy test amid political challenges affecting IVF access.

   • "After years of this difficult journey, we're finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel."

2. Listener 2:
   Achieved a Bachelor's degree in Computer Science just before turning 40, despite facing imminent layoffs in the tech industry.

   • "Instead of wallowing about it, I've decided to encourage people to vote and to vote their conscience this year."

These stories provide a contrast to the otherwise politically charged discussions, offering moments of genuine positivity.

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Concluding Segments and Call to Action

The episode wraps up with final humorous pitches involving Kamala Harris, encouraging political engagement, and promoting upcoming content. The hosts remind listeners to support initiatives like Votes Save America and engage with Crooked Media's other offerings.

• Jon Lovett:
  "There's a big difference. How many people here have signed up for Votes of America."

The show emphasizes the importance of staying informed and active in the political process, even amidst the chaos of current events.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Kamala Harris [04:12]:
  "A loser."

• Mark Duplass [45:30]:
  "The Restaurant fucking rich ripped these people off."

• Zeynep Johnson [46:10]:
  "You do not go to the Internet about a cake, okay?"

• Kamala Harris [22:03]:
  "We have been the least productive since 1859... half of them were on these refrigerators and stoves and appliances."

• Jon Lovett [50:36]:
  "I don't like this drink for the same reason I don't like soup."

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Conclusion

"All Quiet on the Western Omelet" offers a sharp, comedic take on the tumultuous landscape of American politics and the pervasive influence of social media. Through incisive humor, candid conversations, and insightful critiques, John Lovett and his guests navigate the complexities of modern governance and cultural shifts, all while keeping listeners entertained and informed.

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Note: This summary excludes all advertisement segments, intros, outros, and non-content sections to focus solely on the episode's substantive discussions and humor.

Transcript

[Kamala Harris]

This Thanksgiving, Butterball wants you to really connect. Let's get back to sharing traditions together around the table. Let's talk like we used to. We'll help with the turkey so you can enjoy every moment. Visit butterball.com for turkey tips.

[John Lovett]

Hello, Los Angeles. Welcome to love it or leave it. We are 19 days away from Halloween, which means we are 20. 20 days away from a. Last night was fun. Text from someone named Hot Beetlejuice. Parentheses tall in your phone. Tonight on the show, Congresswoman Sidney Campbellger Dove stops by to talk about life on Capitol Hell. Zeynep Johnson is back, and Mark Duplass is here to get caught in the World Wide Web. World Wide Web? Is that how it is? Wide. World Web? World Wide Web? That sucks. Oh, like World Wide Web. Then we wrap it all up with a spin of a wheel. What wheel? We'll see. But first, let's get into it. What a week. Yeah, that's right. Kamala Harris. Media blitz continues. On Tuesday, she sat down for an interview with Howard Stern. To kick it off, she made Tim Walz ride a Sibian. And trust me, it got weird. I am only telling you that joke because when I saw it, I had to Google Siby, which I realized too late is not some kind of mythological horse. Harris also discussed her love of Formula One racing, special case cereal, and going to see U2 at the sphere.

[Kamala Harris]

Oh, my God. Have you been to the Sphere?

[John Lovett]

I'm troubled by it.

[Kamala Harris]

Well, let me just say basically, everyone.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Should go in with a clear head.

[John Lovett]

You mean don't be high.

[Kamala Harris]

Correct.

[John Lovett]

Right. You can take the woman out of the process. Prosecutor's office. Seeing you two at the Sphere sober, couldn't be me. It makes me anxious just thinking about it. This is the biggest man made object on earth in which a human being can experience claustrophobia. What is the Sphere? Halfway through the interview, Stern told Harris that she had his vote. I don't even understand how this election is closed. And yes, I'm voting for you, but I would also vote for that wall over there rather than a guy who says he doesn't support Ukraine. Wouldn't get on that stage with you and say, I support Ukraine. This is. And why do my fellow Americans want this kind of chaos overseas? If you would have told me eight years ago that Howard Stern would vote for Kamala Harris because of Ukraine, I would have said, listen to me, I'm not the original Lovett. I'm also from the future like you. I was trying to stop Trump, but then I honked. At 17 year old Phineas Crossing the street. So now the Barbie movie didn't happen. And then I tried to tell Nancy Pelosi to tell Hillary to go to Wisconsin, but all she did was pump me for info on high cap stocks. But there's still time to stop Trump. There's still time to stop him from being elected. All we have to do is. Ugh, my heart. No. Tell my mother I got her a magnet on my trip. All right. Then on Wednesday night, Harris cracked open a Miller High Life with Stephen Colbert.

[Mark Duplass]

But elections, I think, are won on vibes because one of the old saws is they just want somebody they can have a beer with. So would you like to have have.

[John Lovett]

A beer with me so I can.

[Mark Duplass]

Tell people what that's like?

[Kamala Harris]

Okay.

[Zeynep Johnson]

The last time I had beer was at a baseball game with Doug.

[John Lovett]

Okay.

[Zeynep Johnson]

So cheers.

[John Lovett]

Okay.

[Kamala Harris]

Cheers.

[Mark Duplass]

There you go.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Champagne of beers.

[Mark Duplass]

There you go.

[John Lovett]

Doug wasn't allowed to have any beer, though. It gives him the zoomies. The last time I had a beer was at a normal time, the normal classic beer time. Later in the interview, when asked about Trump's 2020 election loss, Harris said this.

[Zeynep Johnson]

You lost manufacturing, you lost automotive plants, you lost the election. What does that make you?

[Kamala Harris]

A loser.

[Zeynep Johnson]

This is what one of somebody at my rally said. I thought it was funny.

[Mark Duplass]

It's accurate. It's accurate.

[Zeynep Johnson]

This is what happens when I drink beer.

[John Lovett]

Same when I have two sips of beer. I always start down my list of talking points. Just goofy. She's goofy. That's part of it. She's goofy and we love her, and that's part of it. Meanwhile, when asked on the View if she would have done anything differently from Biden over the last few years, she.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Replied, there is not a thing that comes to mind.

[John Lovett]

After pausing for a moment, Harris said, I would maybe have handed the ice cream cone to a staffer before answering the Gaza question. Then after another beat, Kamal added, I also would have adopted one or two more untrainable killing dogs. Louisiana Senator John Kennedy this week attacked Kamala Harris for daring to speak the word tampons at a time like this. Last couple of days, the vice President goes on some show called call her daddy or call your daddy or who's your daddy or something. Call me daddy. I like who's your daddy better. And among other things, she's talking about tampons. You know, the people in Appalachia right now don't give a function about tampons. Just don't forget, women are women and men are people. It's part of the worldview, but also give him a break. He's from a generation of men who were taught to treat tampons like they were radioactive, but in a gay way. Like they come with period blood already on them. I think even now, if we still treat tampons like they're illicit, if men needed tampons, there'd be tampons everywhere. There'd also be blood everywhere. It would be a real mess, honestly. So it's probably for the best that they don't. Except for trans men who are trained as women, so they're fine anyway. Jews invented hurricanes. Or did they? That's right. This week, Marjorie Taylor Greene continued to spread the conspiracy theory that hurricanes are actually being directed by Democrats and or Jews, which is ridiculous. It's climate change and not a conspiracy causing this next superstorm. Hurricane Tova Feldstein. Oh no. And right on the heels of Hurricane Shlomo. Can you believe the weather we're having? President Biden denounced MTG's dangerous delusions to the press. Now the claims are getting even more bizarre. Congressman Marjorie Taylor Greene, a Congresswoman majority, is now saying the federal government is literally controlling the weather. We're controlling the weather. It's beyond ridiculous. It's got to stop. Moments like this. There are no red or blue states. Yes, in our climate change future there are no red states in blue states. There will only be dry states in wet states and eventually fire states and flood states. And then finally just Michigan. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis took a moment to denounce conspiracy theories. Be careful about the nonsense that just that gets circulated and just know that the more titillating it is, the more likely somebody is making money off of it and they don't really give a damn about the well being and safety of the people that are actually in the eye of this storm, added the governor. This applies to hurricane related posts only woke Liberal math teachers are trying to turn your children trans for pedophile reasons. DeSantis words were carefully chosen to leave room for interpretation. Specifically the interpretation that he's still a prick because DeSantis spokesperson Christine Pochon warned against online misinformation while continuing to disparage actual news outlets, writing if you wouldn't believe a New York Times story based solely on anonymous sources and I wouldn't you shouldn't believe engagement based posts like these that make outlandish claims without evidence. Yeah man, totally. The New York Times reporting on your disaster of a campaign and patriot69 posting an AI rendered image of Donald Trump putting sandbags around a church are the same thing. You can't trust the times, you can't trust the tweets. You can only trust me. Christine Pichaw, a professional liar. Pshaw. It's a cool name. Meanwhile. Meanwhile. According to a new book by Bob Woodward that comes out next week, Donald Trump secretly sent Russian President Vladimir Putin a supply of COVID tests for his personal use in 2020, as the US struggled with a test shortage. Interesting. So Trump's love language is gifts. Putin told Trump to keep quiet, saying, this is real. I don't want you to tell anybody because people will get mad at you. Not me. Weird. That's exactly what I told Tommy the one time we kissed. I mean, didn't kiss. Leave this in. Trump has also reportedly kept in touch with Putin after leaving the White House, in one instance, ordering an aide away from his Mar A Lago office in early 2020 so that he could talk to him on the phone. Nyet. You hang up first. Overall, it was a week of nonstop, bizarre Trump ramblings. Here's the former president at a rally in Scranton, Pennsylvania, on Wednesday, imagining one of his supporters blowing up in a car accident.

[Donald Trump]

They want to go now. Hydrogen. They want a hydrogen car. You know what the problem is? When they blow up, you are unrecognizable. If this beautiful young woman is in the car, drive it. And the hydrogen car, if it blows up, you're unrecognized. You stand up. Don't say, oh, I like her.

[John Lovett]

I like her.

[Donald Trump]

I will not allow her to go into a hydrogen car.

[John Lovett]

The race is tied. Can I get in the car? I'd like. I like to get in the car. While visiting the Detroit Economic Club, Donald Trump had this to say about the price of consumer goods.

[Donald Trump]

The word grocery, you know, it's sort of simple word, but it sort of means, like, everything you eat, the stomach is speaking. It always does. And I have more complaints about that bacon.

[John Lovett]

He sounds like an unprepared best man giving a speech at a grocery store's wedding. Trump issued this threat about his opponent.

[Donald Trump]

Our whole country will end up being like Detroit. If she's your president, he's in Detroit.

[John Lovett]

Everywhere we'll have horrible pizza. We'll constantly have to pay homage to Motown, which we admire, but it doesn't have to be your thing. No one's talking about Motown. Trump had this to say about California.

[Donald Trump]

In California, you have brownouts and blackouts every week and blackouts. I mean, the place is stone cold broke. No electricity. So you have blackouts, brownouts all the time.

[John Lovett]

What an asshole. He has no idea what living in California is like. All right, for those listening at home, the studio lights went out. Also in Detroit, Trump recalled the life advice he gave his children.

[Donald Trump]

No drugs, no alcohol, no cigarettes. And they go out and Ivanka would say, dead. Stop telling me that. I said, I'm going to tell it to every time I see you, I'm going to drive you wild with this.

[John Lovett]

There will now be a one hour intermission so that we can all go home and take a shower. Now we're gonna play a game called the Six Degrees of Trump Family Cocaine. And we'll all name the people we know who have done cocaine with those children. Anybody want to go first? Meanwhile, Trump will hold a rally in Coachella this Saturday for reasons that remain politically unclear. I hope he plays hot to go a Harris. He's not gonna play Hantica, a Harris campaign spokesperson said. Oh no. This is extremely concerning for our campaign. Please do not go to Coachella, California, 24 days before the election. Whatever gay guy they have peddling the generator on that catty bitch machine, we salute you. Meanwhile, Trump supporters are not just getting scammed by his rallies. Some are reporting high dollar scams on true social as grifters run rampant on Trump's social media platform. Amazingly, this is not about the $100,000 watches Trump is selling or the crypto trading cards Trump is selling, or the Bibles Trump is selling. According to FTC complaints obtained by Gizmodo, Elderly Truth Social users have fallen victim to grifters losing tens of thousands of dollars before realizing they're scammed. As a Donald Trump supporter, you've marked yourself as scammable. You're on the Paris subway asking people in English how to get to Notre Dame, and you're pronouncing it Notre Dame. You're taking out your wallet to buy a fake Prada bag in Italy, and your Euros are all just falling on. Said one elderly victim. I'm ruined. I'm ruined. To think I was once the mayor of New York. During oral arguments on Tuesday, the Supreme Court seemed likely to uphold a Biden administration rule that requires background checks, serial numbers, and sale records for ghost guns, but no ruling as of yet on the ability to purchase booleats. Spooky. Chief Justice Roberts seems skeptical of manufacturers arguments that they shouldn't have to comply with gun regulations because ghost guns are usually assembled at home and marketed to hobbyists. Justice Samuel Alito, on the other hand, questioned whether ghost gun kits fall under the legal definition of a firearm. Asking and this is real. Whether eggs, chopped ham, peppers and onions would be considered a Western omelet when the lawyer representing gun owners and gun makers said no, because those ingredients could be used to make other things justice, Amy Coney Barrett asked a follow up, which is would your answer change if you ordered it from HelloFresh and you got a kit and it was like turkey chili, but all of the ingredients are in the kit? As it happens, HelloFresh has a sister company that sells ghost gun kits called Goodbye Fresh. These kits are about exploiting the loophole. It's obviously a loophole. Everybody knows it's a loophole. It's like building a latte in the Starbucks app instead of paying full price for the latte. I don't care what you call it, I'm drinking a latte. And they can try to close that loophole, but somebody's going to get shot. Speaking of situations that have gotten out of hand, a woman in Washington state called the police last week when she was unable to get into her home because There were about 100 raccoons outside demanding food. Soon after, two squad cars arrived, but sure enough, they were just full of more raccoons. The woman told authorities that she'd started feeding raccoons about 35 years ago and had no issues until six weeks ago when the raccoon population exploded. Also, by the way, she's lying. Just admit it, lady. The problem didn't suddenly emerge slowly, day by day, week by week, year by year. You raised a raccoon army. You're embarrassed that it now has gotten to the point where you need help. But that didn't happen in the last six weeks. You've been feeding raccoons for 35 years. The problem is not suddenly it's a problem and you're right to call the authorities, but it didn't sneak up on you. This reminds me of when on Hoarders, a show that I used to watch secretly, the doctor would go into a house with shoulder high garbage and a cat skeleton under a rotten jack o'lantern and the doctor would ask the person what happened? And the hoarder would say, it's been a really busy spring. And finally, Ethel Kennedy, wife of the late Robert F. Kennedy and mother to RFK Jr. Died at the age of 96. When reached for comment, RFK Jr. Expressed sadness that she did not live long enough to see him become president. Then he signed, fired up his trusty chainsaw, and said, now let's get decapitatin. In other news, an old woman's skeleton has been found in Central Park. What the fuck? Damn it. Is that you, Ethel? All right, up next, a member of Congress is here. All right, we'll be right back.

[Mark Duplass]

Tate, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up.

[John Lovett]

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[Mark Duplass]

And we're back.

[John Lovett]

Please welcome to the stage LA's own representative Sydney Kamalger. Dove. Hi. Right here is great. Right here is great. Welcome.

[Kamala Harris]

Thank you. I'm stressed.

[John Lovett]

Why?

[Kamala Harris]

I don't know. New crowd, new crowd.

[John Lovett]

Oh, they're harmless.

[Kamala Harris]

Okay. Only cause I can't see them.

[John Lovett]

This is a good. This is the resistance.

[Kamala Harris]

Okay. I love it, I love it, I love it.

[John Lovett]

Woo. I would say actually say this is the resistance. Parentheses, white section.

[Kamala Harris]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, I got that. Yeah, I got that. I got that.

[John Lovett]

I just don't want to. Yeah, it's a big tent.

[Kamala Harris]

Big difference.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, yeah, no, I know. Big tent. Big tent. Congressman, you sent us a veritable Lipton's factory worth of scalding hot congressional behind the scenes tea. So we're gonna use that to process the actual harrowing reality of this election in a segment we're calling Con Goss is in session. Sure.

[Kamala Harris]

Ooh, I like that.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, fine, Fine. All right.

[Kamala Harris]

Alcohol.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. There we go. We're getting a pet. You know, I've never had a petty cure. I've never had a manny or a petty. No. As the election nears, our tension's getting higher in Congress between Trump supporters and the more normal amongst you. What's it been like watching the MAGA virus take over in the House?

[Kamala Harris]

It's been insane. I mean, we have seen fisticuffs happen. Toupee was almost released from the head. There has been. And that was just to elect the speaker that they wanted. And then we've had Chip Roy actually say on the microphone, republicans have nothing to run on. We have done absolutely nothing. Amen, Colonel Sanders. We have spent weeks fighting for the rights of stoves and refrigerators and dishwashers, and we don't spend any time fighting for the rights of young women, young boys, public education. I don't know. Like, has your refrigerator called 911 recently?

[John Lovett]

No.

[Kamala Harris]

Yeah. Mine neither.

[John Lovett]

It does. It's. Although I think it now can. I don't know why people. Maybe 988, and I don't know why we want the freezer to get smarter. I feel like it's like, okay, my fridge can connect to the Internet, but can't you just focus on making ice? Like, that was what you did.

[Kamala Harris]

That's what I say. Yeah. Mine grumbles. Mine grumbles, too.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, mine's grumbling, too. And it's like when IHOP's like, no, no, no, we're a burger restaurant. It's like, really? Because other people, you need to do burgers, too. Leave burgers to other people. You're pancake people. My fridge makes ice. It doesn't need to talk to the toaster.

[Kamala Harris]

That might be true. That might be true. So, you know, I will say in my natural resources committee, I went in for a hearing. True story. And we ended up having a discussion on mining for asteroids in outer space. Now, I don't know if this is a real issue for anyone else, but rather than talking about climate change, we were talking about asteroids.

[John Lovett]

Oh, yeah. No, I'm. I don't know. I. I want to. That's interesting to me. Like, I don't think the hearing. I don't think. I think you're right. Like, we should focus probably on the. The boiling of the oceans.

[Kamala Harris]

Correct.

[John Lovett]

Because by the time we figure out how to get the, like, tungsten out of the, you know, place between Mars and Jupiter that has a name that I can't remember. It'll be too late.

[Kamala Harris]

Yeah, they were trying to sell asteroid rights to Shell and, you know, chevron. It was really that kind of a hero.

[John Lovett]

Oh, of course. Of course. What's the Kuiper Belt? That's further away. It's not important. There's the. As. I think it's just called the asteroid bay. Does it have just the asteroid belt? Just the belt of asteroids. Doesn't have the Kuiper. The Cooper Kuiper Q. I think it's like K, U, I, P, E, R, but I think it's pronounced Kuiper. Further away. We're never getting those things. We'll be long dead. We'll be long dead, long dead before we get the good stuff out of that, you know.

[Kamala Harris]

Correct.

[John Lovett]

Do you have any Republican colleagues that kind of let their hair down behind the scenes? Yeah. Other than that. That are like, I'm sorry, I gotta go out there and say the dumbest shit, but I hate this fucking gu.

[Kamala Harris]

Oh, we have. So when they threw Kevin McCarthy off the plank and we had to go through this three week process to elect Mike Johnson, we would go to events and Republicans would come up to me and say, I just wish all of those Freedom Caucus people would get on a submarine. I wish they would just go far away.

[John Lovett]

Was this during the time when the submarines were going like this or just general.

[Kamala Harris]

It kind of was. I see it kind of. So they would come. I said, you know, don't cry for me. Do something. I mean, these are my people. I've already told them that.

[John Lovett]

Blank.

[Kamala Harris]

Blank. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

It's like you've ever had, like. It's really uncomfortable if you're ever at, like, another family's function and then they are fighting and then someone pulls you aside and you. Can you believe my aunt? And it's like, don't do that.

[Kamala Harris]

Right?

[John Lovett]

Don't do that. That reflects poorly on both of you. Yeah, yeah, your aunt sucks, but you suck for talking to me about it.

[Kamala Harris]

Correct.

[John Lovett]

All right.

[Kamala Harris]

Like, you should talk to your aunt.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, talk to your aunt. Leave me out of this. Leave me out of this.

[Kamala Harris]

Oh, I can't believe this is happening. Oh, I just. I wish you would do something, but I know you can't. And I would say yes, and why don't you do something? Well, I can't either. Okay, then shut up. S T, F, U. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Lovett]

Which is an acronym.

[Kamala Harris]

Do you.

[John Lovett]

On the other hand. So the Republicans who are behind the scenes are like, I'm sorry about my friend. And then there's the friend. Yeah. How do you work with somebody like Clay Higgins who posts something as vile as this? So I'm not gonna read it, but this was a. Just a. Just as, I don't know, textbook racism. I think you would just, like, buy the book. Hitting all the racism marks, hitting every branch of the racism tree on the way to the ground, you know, so.

[Kamala Harris]

My blood is activating right now.

[John Lovett]

It was about the Haitian immigrants in Ohio, and it was despicable.

[Kamala Harris]

So we have a member of Congress from Florida, Sheila Sherfliss McCormick, who is Haitian, and this. He posted this we gathered on the floor, members of the Black Caucus, our chair, Steve Horsford, with Sheila. And some of us went to him. I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, because he does have an accent. So he was saying that. I guess I got into your feelings. So we had. Yes. I can't. I don't know what I can say.

[John Lovett]

Whatever you want.

[Kamala Harris]

I want to say motherfucker. You know.

[John Lovett]

You know what? You know what that motherfucker is? That's the motherfucker of a safe district.

[Kamala Harris]

Okay, thank you. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

So it's nice.

[Kamala Harris]

Oh, my God. So he was doing all this, and we said, take this down. And then Byron Donald found his black self and he went to Clay Higgins and said something, and a couple of other people said something. We tried to, you know, ask for a minute on the floor to talk about it. Of course, the speaker wouldn't let that happen. We had to finish voting, and then afterwards we had to gavel down and then gavel back in. It's all procedural. And Mike Johnson said, well, we all prayed in the back and he took it down, so we don't need to talk about it. But you said what you said. So we had to confront him. And then he was walking around the floor afterwards, I guess. I guess I hurt somebody's feelings. He kept saying that, and it was like, you know, you should come to my house. You should come to my house after 6 o'clock and I can share with you all my feelings. It's really disturbing. And then the cousins, the friends say, oh, I'm not that kind of Republican. I would never say that. But they don't stand up and sanction that person or call that person out or check that person. You know, where I come from, if you do something wrong, you get checked. You get checked by the people who love you because they're wanting you to be better. So find a backbone.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, find a backbone. It's a bummer.

[Kamala Harris]

It's a bummer.

[John Lovett]

Let's get off this screen.

[Kamala Harris]

It's a bummer. Okay, let's get up. Get off the screen.

[John Lovett]

How jacked is Marjorie Taylor Greene in real life? And is Lauren Boebert taking her life in her hands in this feud? How jacked is Marjorie Taylor Greene?

[Kamala Harris]

She is jacked. So I am so. I am so curious. I say this every time I see her. And one day I will tell her what is going on with your split ends.

[John Lovett]

Wow.

[Kamala Harris]

And why all the spray tan? But I don't. I keep it to myself. You know, a safe District, but she's really. She's. She is jacked, and she's a petite thing, and she's always surrounded by her people, and she's incredibly oblivious to the real world. Yes. And Lauren Boebert is in my Natural Resources Committee. So when you first start your committee, you have to vote on the rules, how the committee is going to behave. And so she introduced this rule that said, we can bring guns and grenades to our Natural Resources Committee.

[John Lovett]

Grenades, grenade, explosives to the Natural Resources Committee. Correct.

[Kamala Harris]

Correct. Correct. And so they voted to pass that. I raised my hand. I said, I'm sorry, do I really want to be on this committee? Is there a precedent for why we should be bringing explosives to the committee?

[John Lovett]

Well, can you get them in the. Oh, my goodness.

[Kamala Harris]

And so now we can bring guns and grenades and everything to Natural Resource. And I'm so sick of these salmon boom. You know, it's like, what?

[John Lovett]

Right? I mean, it is a way to get at sort of deeper veins of. Or.

[Kamala Harris]

I know, I know. So she's a little out to lunch. She's kind of, you know, recalibrated since she had to switch districts. And then there was the Beetlejuice thing and habita habada. Habada.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Kamala Harris]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Do you think we're getting enough buses for the 2028 Olympics, or should I work from home? I'm worried about the mayor's, like, don't worry. There'll be buses. There'll be buses. How many buses? What?

[Kamala Harris]

Buses to Santa Barbara. I would. Yeah, don't wait on the buses.

[John Lovett]

Okay.

[Kamala Harris]

Get the scooters. Get the scooters. Watch on tv.

[John Lovett]

Is it dispiriting being part of the least productive Congress in 100 years?

[Kamala Harris]

Don't you love that? We have been the least productive since 1859, when the Union was dissolving. It is horrible. We passed 77 bills. We have passed 77 bills this legislative session. Half of them were on these refrigerators and stoves and appliances. So when you go home, you tell your appliances that Congress is working for them. It's very dispiriting. And we've had to pass a resolution to continue to fund the government four times. You should only be doing that once a year.

[John Lovett]

Right. Or properly. Many times. Yeah.

[Kamala Harris]

So a reauthorization for five years.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

But you're not really doing anything.

[Kamala Harris]

No, we're watching people fight on the floor and then, you know, reading allegations in the paper that end up in the Ethics Committee. Yeah, we're doing all fun things.

[John Lovett]

It'd be probably better high School. It'd probably be better if Democrats took back the House.

[Kamala Harris]

We are going to be taken by the House in November.

[John Lovett]

And finally, you were attacked by a hawk while visiting Los Angeles?

[Kamala Harris]

Yes, in Silver Lake, outside of my district. So it was not an angry constituent, but I was out and about running errands, and I was. I thought there was a mean child playing dodgeball with my head, and I got out of the car, and boom. And I thought, this. Who is this child? You know, let me get them. And a bird flew above me, and I thought, ooh, that bird's in trouble. There's a bad child. And then the bird came at me again, kind of close. I thought, okay, yeah, aggressive. Aggressive up here in Silver Lake. And then I realized that it was a hawk coming from me. And I was like, I've been voting for all this shit to protect you. Get a life. And so I run up the wrong stairs, and I call the person I was coming to see. And I was like, I know I'm not in the right place, but I don't know how to get to you. And there's a hawk. And she said, put the phone down and run. Run as fast as you can. And I was like, what is going on? So I did. I dropped everything and ran down the stairs. I put my hat, my purse on my head, and I was screaming. I looked like Tippi Hedren. It was for real. And the bird was chasing me to the front of the street. And then I finally get in my the place, and she said, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, that hawk is bad news.

[John Lovett]

Do you think that was your friend being nice and suggesting that it wasn't something you did, that it's a hawk that menaces other people? Or do you think there was something specific about you that drew the attention of the hawk?

[Kamala Harris]

Well, I was like, you know, black lives matter, right?

[John Lovett]

But the hawk.

[Kamala Harris]

I found out the hawk was a mother, a recent mother, and they thought that she was protecting her babies, and she had attacked other people in the neighborhood. She scratched, you know, a neighbor's face and had hit someone else. So she was a very aggressive mother. So I was grateful that she just grazed me. She was like, ooh, too much hair. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what happened, but I was scared, and I had ptsd. I had to go back to that person. And I was like, I don't know if I can come back. I need to take medication. She was like, oh, no, the bird's gone.

[John Lovett]

Well, we talked to a animal specialist who said the only way to cure PTSD from a hawk attack is immersion therapy. Bring in. Bring in the hawks. Bring in the hawks. Congresswoman. So we're in the fight to take back the House. In the fight to keep the Senate. We're in the fight to elect Kamala Harris. How you feeling?

[Kamala Harris]

I am feeling hopeful. I am feeling hopeful. I am less hopeful about the Senate, but I am very hopeful about Congress and I'm very hopeful about the White House. I. I think as long as we all continue to talk to each other and not just like minded people, but to everyone and tell them what is at stake and everything is at stake. Every single thing is at stake. If she is not elected the next president, the whoever is the next president will be nominating three new people to the Supreme Court. The next person has the responsibility of protecting government. And the person who was in the White House before has already shown us a manifesto that wants to get rid of most of government, and we can't afford that.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Yeah. I think he's terrible. I think he's. Honestly, I think he's just terrible.

[Kamala Harris]

I know.

[John Lovett]

I have a question for you.

[Kamala Harris]

Okay, tell me. You've had questions all night.

[John Lovett]

I know, but I have another one. This is my last question.

[Kamala Harris]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

Okay. Which is, what's a great restaurant to try in your district?

[Kamala Harris]

Oh, my God, so many. Well, John and Vinny's has come to town, so I love that John and Vinny's has moved south. Ooh, Sunday gravy is super good.

[John Lovett]

Sunday gravy. I wanna try Sunday gravy.

[Kamala Harris]

You gotta go, you gotta go, you gotta go. Oh, my God, the lemon pasta is amazing.

[John Lovett]

I love lemon pasta.

[Kamala Harris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ms. Lala is super great if you like Mediterranean. I got so many for you.

[John Lovett]

All right, thank you.

[Kamala Harris]

Somerville is opening up. That's Issa Rae's new place.

[John Lovett]

Ooh.

[Kamala Harris]

I like celebrities. What can I say?

[John Lovett]

We all do. It's Los Angeles.

[Kamala Harris]

Yeah, yeah. Do you want anything else? Alta Adams. They have great cocktails.

[John Lovett]

Nice. You know when places. People say a place has great cocktails sometimes like. Okay, no, no.

[Kamala Harris]

They could. Delicious pizzas there. This New York pizza.

[John Lovett]

All right, let's. Let's calm down.

[Kamala Harris]

I'm just.

[John Lovett]

We were having a nice time. Let's not ruin it by saying things we'll reg. Congresswoman Kaml, thank you so much. We come back, Zaidep Johnson and Mark Duplass. And we're back. The Internet. Can't live with it. Can't take a dump without It. Yes, I've seen a doctor. And yes, what? And yes, I saw that doctor dancing to Addison Rae's diet Pepsi on TikTok. Here to give a thumbs up or a thumbs down to the most deranged parts of the algorithm this week, please welcome Mark Duplass and Zeynep Johnson. Come on out.

[Mark Duplass]

Oh, hi, everybody.

[John Lovett]

Come on out. Wherever you want. Come on in. Come on in. Here's great.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Does it matter where we sit?

[John Lovett]

No, it doesn't. It does.

[Kamala Harris]

It does.

[Mark Duplass]

You're in the wrong seat.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Well, I'm here now.

[Mark Duplass]

You're in the wrong seat.

[Zeynep Johnson]

I told you they'd be up on. Right.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. You didn't say.

[Mark Duplass]

No, it is.

[John Lovett]

It's an intimate venue. It's an intimate venue. Like, a person currently neck deep in quicksand might have a hard time posting a Yelp review of their jungle tour. So, too am I struggling to assess how bizarre social media has gotten of late. Mark and Zainab, I'm going to tell you about the most painfully online subject matter recently trending on God's own Internet. For each one, I'm going to assign each of you a pro or con, and you will do your best to defend or rebuke that trending topic in a segment we're calling for Whom the Hell Scrolls?

[Mark Duplass]

What is he doing here?

[John Lovett]

I don't know. I don't know. Cause it's his Internet now.

[Mark Duplass]

He's in the middle of his Robo taxi event right now.

[John Lovett]

He's in a robo taxi event right now. What's the robo. He's selling robo taxis now.

[Mark Duplass]

Oh, yeah, he's selling robo taxis. You guys. All of you guys are going home in a robo taxi tonight. You get a Robo taxi and you get a Robo taxi and you get a robotax. Sexy.

[John Lovett]

You know, I have such a visceral outrage when I see either the way mo cars moving now around LA or the little robots that carry the food from the restaurants. And it's not. It's like. It's that I hate the idea of having to, like, acknowledge their existence because of their physical. The inability for me to ignore the fact that they take up physical space in the universe that, like, if I'm walking on a sidewalk, no matter. I want to keep going straight through the robot, but I can't because it is there.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Have you ever tried the robot will go around you.

[John Lovett]

Yes, but you gotta. Yes, but I'm moving too fast for these little monsters.

[Mark Duplass]

Here's the thing. You do have an option Though when the robot is crossing the street and you're turning right in your car, you technically can go through the robot at that moment, if you would like to.

[John Lovett]

Yes, yes. But, you know, those things are just little. I'm also haunted by every Black Mirror episode where it's like, the robot gets. The picture gets taken of the license plate, and it goes back to hq. And now I got a letter in the mail. I'm dealing with that for six months.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Also, there's somebody in their apartment. Like, where's my burger?

[John Lovett]

Yeah. And sometimes that's me.

[Mark Duplass]

You don't want to be responsible for that.

[John Lovett]

No. Mark. Your new show, Penelope, explores concepts of mental health growing up and living off the grid. Grid. Overrated. Yeah.

[Mark Duplass]

I think the grid. I think the grid is properly rated, you know?

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Mark Duplass]

Like, I think that, like, we're getting really good things out of the grid.

[John Lovett]

I love the grid.

[Mark Duplass]

Like, the grid is the grid. The grid brought me, like, some really nice leftovers today because I kept them in my refrigerator, you know, and that was nice that the grid brought me that. But what's bad about the grid and why I made Penelope is I do think we're all having trouble sitting alone with ourselves for more than seven seconds without pulling out our phones.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Mark Duplass]

And I had this time in my life where, from when I was, like, 19 to 21, my friends called me the Indigo Boy because I would travel around in my van with lesbians. With lesbians. Yes. And I was a singer songwriter, and I would go days without speaking to people in between shows, and I would just sit with myself, and it was very formative to who I am, and I think we're missing that. So that's part of why I wanted to make that show.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I like that. I love the grid, but it is nice to leave it.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Yeah. I used to go on, like, long hikes by myself, and I'd be. And I wouldn't tell anybody where I was going, and I would love that. And then I saw, like, 128 hours.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah, it's actually called 127 hours, but you saw the sequel, which. What happened in that last hour? Inquiring minds want to know now.

[Zeynep Johnson]

I text.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, you have text.

[Zeynep Johnson]

I share location.

[John Lovett]

No, it's good to share your location. Do you share your location?

[Mark Duplass]

I do share my locations with my entire family and no one else.

[John Lovett]

That's good. I like sharing my location. I like the intimacy it creates with my friends.

[Mark Duplass]

Who do you share with?

[John Lovett]

I have a few friends I share it with.

[Mark Duplass]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

And I like It. It's like, where are they? That's where they are.

[Mark Duplass]

That's where they are.

[John Lovett]

And here's where I am.

[Mark Duplass]

Is it ever cons political problems because someone lied to you? They said they were going with Fred and they were really with Amy. Well, that happens.

[John Lovett]

No, the. I think that it also, it prevents that you can't do the. I'm on the. With the friends that can see where you are. Like, my friend Spencer and I, we share our locations. And I'll be like, I'm. I'll be like, I'm 20 out. And he'll be like, you're not 20 out. You're like 30 out. Like, maybe if you drive like a maniac, you're 26 out. And then you'll say it was 20 out. But you're 30. You're fucking 30 out.

[Mark Duplass]

That's like, to me, that's like sweet vulnerability discrepancy that you and Spencer will joke about later. The bad one is like, I'm at Greg's house and Spencer's like, no, you're at my girlfriend Amy's house.

[John Lovett]

Sure. Yeah. I think if you're blowing up several relationships, you shouldn't have your location turned on with various people involved. No, that's. And you're. And that's smart. And that's the kind of thinking that goes into Penelope.

[Mark Duplass]

That's right.

[John Lovett]

That's right. Who's off the grid, but young. Too young to be off the grid.

[Mark Duplass]

Well, she's 16. She leaves behind her life and she heads out into the woods. And it's been really fascinating listening to people who watch this show because some people really feel like, this is everything that I want. I hate my phone, I want to get rid of it. And some people feel like, wait a minute, what about this girl's parents? And what is she doing out there? And I feel like, personally, I don't know how you guys feel like the nature of discourse around the fact that we have 500 TV shows and movies on our queue. Like, we take things in and then we forget about them immediately. So I actually wanted to like increase the electricity of the idea by about 20% so that it could actually land with someone and create some kind of discourse other than. Did you see it? Yeah, I saw it, but I forgot because I'm watching the Menendez thing now.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Yeah, I actually like that it's a 16 year old and not a. You know, if it's an older person, it's like, you know, you hear older people. Like, I remember when I had to Memorized phone number, you know, but like a person that, as I look around at everyone who would say that, sorry. But a person that's.

[Mark Duplass]

This guy has a rotary phone and unknocking.

[John Lovett]

You're young, first of all. She's so funny. But you're a young crowd. Such a funny person. But she's joking. That's joke.

[Zeynep Johnson]

But a 16 year old has only ever. Their entire life has been with the Internet and most of it with social media and streaming and stuff like that. So for them to make that choice, I do think it's. I do think it's more.

[Mark Duplass]

It's weird. Like when we started writing the show like two years ago, we were like, oh, this is kind of like a novel idea. And then in the last year all these articles have come out where these teens are choosing these like chosen Luddite societies and they're getting their dumb phones and they spend a week together in nature. And so, I don't know, I feel like maybe something is happening a little bit.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I went on Survivor in part to get away from my phone and then I got out first but they didn't give me my phone back. So I got what I needed out of it.

[Mark Duplass]

So you got the best of both worlds for sure.

[John Lovett]

Cause I could still eat food, you know.

[Mark Duplass]

You got Survivor on the grid.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I was totally on the grid. Fiji's on the grid now. And that's the cool thing about it. All right, you know what? Let's play the game. Okay. First up we have the viral cake theft. A TikTok user took us, took us on a harrowing multi part journey recently when she accused the staff of a swanky New York restaurant of everybody's. I dropped a card. Anyway, he basically made a cake. The restaurant served tiny slices and then he couldn't get the rest of the cake back. Let's sold a club. This high end New York City midtown steakhouse took the cake back into the kitchen, cut all of us meager slices of cake to eat and they had just eaten the rest of it for themselves. So basically he took to TikTok to say that this restaurant ate the other half of this cake he made. And the question is, should you come to the Internet with that problem? Like, is that, you know, Mark, you say yes, Z, you say no.

[Kamala Harris]

Oh, good God.

[John Lovett]

Okay, let's go, let's go.

[Mark Duplass]

I'm going. You should absolutely take all of your cake problems to the Internet. This is. There are very few empirical truths. This is one of them. But let's face it, the Restaurant fucking rich ripped these people off. And they did it in an aggressive way. You eat the whole cake. That's one thing. It's kind of like, oh, maybe it disappeared. Maybe there was never a cake put in. You eat half the cake, that's saying something.

[John Lovett]

That is saying something.

[Mark Duplass]

I want you to know specifically. Like, I want you to see the fork and tine marks that needs to be punished. Internet is the place.

[John Lovett]

You say no, Zaynab.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Ugh, I hate arguing for. Okay.

[Mark Duplass]

You're so good at it, though.

[Zeynep Johnson]

You do not go to the Internet about a cake, okay? Especially if it's a homemade cake. Cause whoever made it could just make it again. Y'all probably had a big ass birthday party. And those people working at that restaurant, regardless of how high end it is, they have lives too, and it was probably stressful.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Next up.

[Mark Duplass]

That was good.

[John Lovett]

Ryan Murphy. Most recent season of Monsters retells the case of Lyle and Eric Menendez, the two brothers convicted of the gruesome killing of their parents in 1989. As with every semi attractive murderer, the actual Menendez brothers allegedly eating half of his friend's birthday cake. God damn it. Found the missing card. The brothers got a subsequently got a new crop of supporters. And since it's 2024, those supporters made a ton of thirst traps and fan cams about the brothers. Here's one now. All right, the question is, pro or con? Is it okay that people are thirsting over the Menendez brothers if it gives them an outlet for whatever weird part of the human brain makes them do stuff like this? Hmm. Zeyneb, you're in favor of this being fine. Mark, you'll be against 30 seconds on the clock. You wanna go first?

[Zeynep Johnson]

Yeah, sure, I'll go first. You can totally, like, listen, everybody loves a bad boy. And what's more bad than murder, right?

[John Lovett]

Right.

[Zeynep Johnson]

And I give back my time.

[John Lovett]

All right, well, a tough act to follow, Mark. Take it away.

[Kamala Harris]

Hmm.

[Mark Duplass]

Well, there's a gray area here, right? Right. So like these guys, they definitely killed someone. So if you're gonna crush on them and thirst trap, maybe, maybe take it to something that was like 50, 50, like maybe they did it or maybe they didn't. So maybe this is like some bad boy energy. Maybe it's good. You know, if you're gonna crush on somebody, it should be like, maybe it's O.J. simpson, you know?

[John Lovett]

Right.

[Mark Duplass]

Cause you know, it's 50. 50, right?

[John Lovett]

Sure. That's his. That's a view. That's a view you can have.

[Mark Duplass]

Okay, there you Go.

[John Lovett]

And that's the view. And that's. Powerful words. Powerful words.

[Zeynep Johnson]

What's in between? A pro and a convict.

[John Lovett]

Pro. Powerful words. All right. And finally, a peculiar mocktail championed by Dua Lipa went viral this week. The ingredients, Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapenos. We are all going to try it. And then we are gonna just pro and con this bad boy together. Okay, I am gonna try it. Oh, here's one. I have a third one. Hang on.

[Mark Duplass]

Okay. Why is it so big?

[John Lovett]

I'm so sorry. Why did you make larges?

[Mark Duplass]

I mean, this is.

[John Lovett]

It's a lot. It's. Why it feels insane miscalculation on my part. What? I think it smells good.

[Zeynep Johnson]

I think it smells good, too, Because I like jalapeno, so it Smell. Anybody want to try this? I've never had a Coke in my life.

[John Lovett]

You've never.

[Zeynep Johnson]

I've never had a Coke.

[John Lovett]

Really? No. And you're not gonna have one now?

[Zeynep Johnson]

Well, why. Why would I?

[John Lovett]

Okay, Margaret, I will try.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Do you want to try it?

[Mark Duplass]

You're not going to start with a Diet Coke here.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. All right. Hi. What's your name? Hi.

[Kamala Harris]

I'm Julia.

[John Lovett]

Julia. Okay. You're gonna taste it with us. All right? You're gonna count for Zainab. All right? Let's taste this thing.

[Mark Duplass]

Here we go.

[John Lovett]

Cheers. To Dua Lipa.

[Mark Duplass]

For those of you who can't see, we're tasting.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Oh. Okay.

[John Lovett]

It's interesting. It's interesting. I think it is worse than Diet Coke. I think adding the pickles made it worse. And then adding the jalapenos has made it worse.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah. Some, like, they describe a bouquet of flavors as it applies to wine. And a good bouquet, it all mixes together. And this is just three separate bouquets sitting next to each other in great discomfort.

[John Lovett]

I don't like this drink for the same reason I don't like soup And. I'll explain. I drink. A liquid is supposed to help when something is spicy.

[Mark Duplass]

Wait, hold. What is that?

[John Lovett]

The.

[Mark Duplass]

That's the definition of a liquid.

[John Lovett]

No, I didn't say it was the definition of a liquid. I didn't say it was the definition of liquid. I said, for me, a drink is supposed to help when something's spicy. When I have a spicy drink, where do I turn? To food to help. Don't like it. Soup? What are we doing here? You know, it's not a drink, but it's a liquid. What part of the meal does it replace? No part of the meal. I'd rather have a Salad or nothing. Let's cut the soup thing if it's not cracking.

[Mark Duplass]

How'd you like it, Julie?

[Kamala Harris]

It's not different than a Bloody Mary.

[John Lovett]

It's not different than a Bloody Mary. Yes. We're on. I feel like you're right. We're on the road to Bloody Mary. It does need alcohol. I do agree that, Julia, you're right. This would be definitely a drink if it had alcohol. I think bourbon. I would say bourbon, Diet Coke, pickle juice and a little jalapeno. I'm not angry.

[Mark Duplass]

You could be there.

[John Lovett]

I'm not angry. I'm not going to order it because it'd be better without two of the ingredients.

[Mark Duplass]

I feel like. Yeah, you take out the Diet Coke, you put in some Bloody Mary mix, you take out pickles, you put into vodka, you take out the jalapenos.

[John Lovett]

Putting a little Tabasco or something.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. You're on your way. Yeah.

[Mark Duplass]

And you're on your way.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Mark Duplass]

I mean, that's a whole new drink. But, yeah, it's okay.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, it's a no for me. It's a no for me.

[Mark Duplass]

It's a strong no for me. And, you know, I think that what's happening here is we've come to trust that those who are excellent in one arena might be excellent in another arena. And maybe that's not such a good idea.

[John Lovett]

Right. Like, for instance, it can turn out that somebody that has a rocket company can also have the dumbest opinions in the history of planet Earth. Like, that's possible to have. Two things can be true at the same time.

[Mark Duplass]

John Glenn.

[John Lovett]

John Glenn, for example.

[Mark Duplass]

John Glenn.

[John Lovett]

Obviously. Speaking of John Glenn.

[Mark Duplass]

Fucking John Glenn.

[John Lovett]

Zeynep, how are you doing?

[Zeynep Johnson]

Pretty good. Thirsty.

[Mark Duplass]

She's doing a lot better than the three of us who drank some of this beverage.

[John Lovett]

Do you have a plug?

[Zeynep Johnson]

A plug?

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Like, where are you going? Are you touring? I lost. I threw the card on the ground. Well, let me do it subtly.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Well, I just got back from filming Upload Season four.

[John Lovett]

Okay. Which.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Yeah. Which is the fourth. Fourth and final season. And it's so funny that earlier you mentioned Luddites because we kind of covered Luddites a bit in our previous seasons. And so, yeah, I just did that. And that's wonderful. I can't. It's like such a good season. I can't wait for people to watch it. And now I'm back on the road. Next week I'm in Philly and then Detroit and then St. Paul and then Amsterdam and then Geneva and then Paris. And then London.

[John Lovett]

Wow.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Austin. And then Houston. And then I can't remember the rest.

[John Lovett]

Being uploaded is the opposite of going off the grid in a sense. Yeah. They're the alpha and the omega. Yeah.

[Zeynep Johnson]

If you don't know the show, it's like in a. A close future and people can. Instead of essentially dying, you can upload your consciousness to a virtual heaven that is run, that's owned by like big corporations.

[John Lovett]

I'm in. I want to stick around. I'm fine with whatever.

[Mark Duplass]

You want that.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I'm in. Yeah. 100%, why not? It's a new experience.

[Zeynep Johnson]

I play an angel, which is a customer service person. And first season I lost one of the people whose consciousness I had. Like, I literally, my character lost it. So just keep that in mind.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Zeynep Johnson]

There's still human error.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, for sure. But I'll take my chances. Maybe that's where we are right now.

[Mark Duplass]

Maybe you're either nowhere or you take the 2% chance you get lost. That's worth it.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm in. Wow. Sort of a. Sort of an aside at the end. The deep philosophical implications. I'm here for it, Con. When we come back, we'll spin a wheel.

[Mark Duplass]

Don't go anywhere. This is Love it or Leave it and there's more on the way.

[John Lovett]

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In Gaza, the International Rescue Committee is directly delivering water, sanitation and hygiene services and has launched direct nutrition and child and women's protection programming. The IRC works around the world to help families in crisis by delivering critical supplies such as therapeutic food for malnourished children, clean water, cash assistance and more. Your donation will support this work and help children and families survive. Donate today by visiting rescue.org rebuild love it or Leave It Is brought to you by Sling TV. Seems like things change every 20 minutes. It's hard to keep up. That's why you should watch Sling. They provide the Best Value for Essential News Channels With Sling, you get your favorite news channels at the best price. CNN, MSNBC, even Fox News if that's your jam. Anderson Cooper 360 and Hannity, your two favorite shows. Also the Rachel Mano show and more for just $40 a month. 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So it's a great way to make sure you're, you know, getting the channels you need to get and not, you know, the hundreds of channels of crap that you don't need. Get rewarded for watching your favorite news channel. Sling lets you do that. Visit sling.com/now to learn more and get started. That sling.com/now sling.com now love it or leave it is brought to you by ExpressVPN. I know that none of you watch porn, but in case you have any friends that do help pass along this important BSA Incognito mode does not make you incognito unless you use ExpressVPN. ExpressVPN reroutes 100% of your traffic through secure encrypted servers so third parties can't see your browsing history or track your online activity. I like ExpressVPN, especially when I'm traveling. You know, you're on hotel wifi, you're on airplane wifi, you're on random public wifi. And you know, it's nice to know that you're using something where your data's not being harvested. You don't have to worry about anybody, you know, snooping on, you know, you're planning surprise parties, right Peter? Everybody should have a VPN also, by the way. Like you can use VPN to set where your location is so that you can get access to other movies in streaming services. And all these Internet service providers, they're basically just harvesting your data and erasing your privacy to make money off of you. And like, I don't want them to do that. Like, I pay for the Internet. You don't get to monetize my private data so they can eat right now you can take advantage of ExpressVPN's Black Friday Cyber Monday offer to get the absolute best VPN deal you'll find all year. Use our special link expressvpn.com Love it. To get 4 extra months with the 12 month plan or 6 extra months with the 24 month plan? Totally free. That's expressvpn.com Love it. To get an extra 4 or even 6 months of ExpressVPN for free. And we're back this fall. It's not just the presidency at stake. The future of the Supreme Court is on the line too. But before you start to spiral, tune into strict scrutiny with three law degrees and plenty of opinions. Melissa Murray, Kate Shaw and Leah Lippman are breaking down every case and every decision so you can head to the polls, ready and confident to cast your vote. Listen to strict scrutiny me every Monday. We're so glad they're part of the network. It's an amazing show wherever you get your podcast. Also, we're now on YouTube. Strict Scrutiny is now on YouTube also every day at Crooked Media. We're trying to build a progressive, independent media company at a time when trustworthy editorial voices are more important than ever. That's what you get at this show, a trustworthy editorial voice. You know, it's part of it. We're committing to that. We're committed to that mission, but we can't do without your support. And the best way to do that is by subscribing to Friends of the podcast. We're offering 25% off new annual subscriptions. Why are we offering new annual subscriptions for 25% off in October? Because we want you to fucking sign up now. All right? Before you Fair weather friends all go away in January and February, you keep paying attention, you keep the hose turned on. Is this helping? Is this going to move units? Okay, we have a lot of great stuff, so please sign up. Join Friends of the POD today to help our mission and help yourselves to exclusive shows, ad free pod, Save America and much more. Head over to crooked.com friends to sign up. Have you listened to Terminally? Anybody here subscriber? Fuck no.

[Mark Duplass]

She raised her hand.

[John Lovett]

Oh, great. It's a Podcast, you have to applaud. Have you determined online Polar Coaster. They're good shows. Yeah, they're great. Okay. Right? Hell, yeah. What am I doing? All right, please. Did you have a.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Did you have a warm up comic before the show started?

[John Lovett]

No, no, I do it. This is the warmup. I warm it up at the beginning. All right. Please welcome Congresswoman Kamal Yerdove back to the stage to join. Welcome back. Good to see you.

[Kamala Harris]

Thank you.

[John Lovett]

Missed you. All right. Kamala Harris all over the news this week, and I demand more because everybody is watching the blitz unfold. The Kamala Harris media blitz unfold. Everybody's got an opinion about where she should go. We're going to pitch our own. A podcast. A gossipy suburban book club. We want to see Kamala visit to seal the presidential deal. It can be real, it can be fictional, it can be whatever you want it to be. In a segment we're calling Women Be Blitzin'beautiful all right, let's spin the blitz wheel.

[Zeynep Johnson]

I would love to see her shopping like that.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, yeah. She walks by the Republican store and is like, big mistake. That doesn't make any sense. Oh, Zainab, you're up.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Okay. Okay. There we go. I was gonna say. I was gonna say that I would love to see them just old fashioned door to door, you know, like, just Kamala just at my door, like, hey, girl. Right? And then Trump, like, I'll knock, but, you know, whatever. But then it hit me. I would like to see Trump go on hop when he should go on hot ones. Cause I just. The hotter the wing gets, I just want to see him. I want to see him versus the hot sauce, you know, Like, I want to see him sweat and the toupee kind of start to float away. And then he'll be like, I'm still the best. You know, Like, I just want to see that. And Kamala, I want to see her on, oh, any wrestling show. Any wrestling show. Wwe, wwf, all the W's of threes. Any wrestling. Because she needs to, like, touch that base.

[John Lovett]

I love that. Oh, I love that.

[Kamala Harris]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

Kamala versus Trump eating hot wings reminds me of the opening scene of Indiana Jones of Raiders where she's just drinking that guy under the table, you know, that, like, you know, they're like, trump, it's too hot. It's rigged. And then she'd be like, just like. Was like, this is fine. I'll use it to brush my teeth. All right.

[Mark Duplass]

What color does Trump turn when he's getting hot? Because he's already Orange.

[John Lovett]

He's already orange.

[Zeynep Johnson]

He turns purple.

[Mark Duplass]

He goes purple, yeah.

[John Lovett]

Congresswoman, it's your turn to pitch.

[Kamala Harris]

Jesus. Okay. I think she and Walls should do a turn on the show, the Bear. There is a big convention coming to Chicago, and they have called in these great chefs to prepare a menu that is reflective of all of the states that are going to be participating at this major convention. And so she is responsible for putting together a menu that really represents the best of each of these states. So it allows her to talk to the base, it allows her to connect using food, because we know she likes to cook. And Tim Walsh is Midwestern, and so he's able to.

[John Lovett]

No, he is.

[Kamala Harris]

Do whatever Midwesterns do.

[Mark Duplass]

Beautiful ellipsis there.

[Kamala Harris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark Duplass]

Western.

[John Lovett]

I just think Tim Waltz saying, you know, saying Kamala Harris, like, giving instructions to Tim Wallace. Then Tim Wall says, yes, chef. 300.

[Mark Duplass]

We're done.

[John Lovett]

312. Electoral votes count.

[Kamala Harris]

Here we go. There we go.

[John Lovett]

That's such a good idea. All right, let's see what's next. Yeah, it's not really. Listen, the wheel. What does it do?

[Kamala Harris]

Who's the dog?

[Mark Duplass]

It was almost a dog.

[John Lovett]

I'm the dog. Mark, you're.

[Mark Duplass]

Okay. So I would actually like to see Ms. Kamala Harris go on $100,000 pyramid.

[John Lovett]

Okay.

[Mark Duplass]

Because I've been on this show, I've been on the celebrity version of it, because I am a celebrity.

[John Lovett]

Name dress.

[Kamala Harris]

He's name dropping.

[Mark Duplass]

Something happens to you in the speed with which you are required to respond that all politics go away and your ID takes over. The frontal lobe kind of disappears. And I just believe in my heart that Kamala unplugged, as it were. Kamala unhinged is what people are looking for right now. They want to see that she's such a good politician. She's so good at speaking, but they want to see that little frenetic cat like. Like visceral energy. I believe she shows that. That's the 2%.

[John Lovett]

Okay, we're good. I like that. I like that a lot. I like that. Hundred thousand dollar pyramid. It was 10,000 at the beginning.

[Mark Duplass]

It was 10,000. We have inflation.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I know. Shouldn't bring that part of it up, I guess.

[Mark Duplass]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

All right. I think. Let's see who it lands on next.

[Kamala Harris]

The dog.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Oh, no.

[Mark Duplass]

Oh, it's you.

[John Lovett]

It's me. So the beeping. First of all, I think people have no attention spans, and you have to go to where people can't turn off the screens. I think Kamala Harris should record the Airplane safety instructions for all the airlines while getting in little bits of information along the way. Like, here's what I'm gonna do. Here's what you do if we crash. Here's what I'll do if I'm president. Just, like, walk everybody through it. Just because it's one place where people can't turn off the screen. The other option, I think, is only murders in the building. It's a perfect. She would absolutely fit into that world. She could be a fourth member of that group. I think it would totally make sense. Can't you see it? I can.

[Zeynep Johnson]

She don't need to go there, though. Cause, you know, New York, they don't need her. She's already good there, so she gotta go somewhere else.

[John Lovett]

Okay, well, I just think it's, like, good to get. I think I didn't do a good job.

[Mark Duplass]

No, you did. It just. It needs to be like, listen, listen.

[Zeynep Johnson]

I realized I was the only one that wanted to see Trump somewhere. So as soon as Mark started something, I was like, oh, I think I did it wrong.

[John Lovett]

No, yours was good. Yours was good. Only murders of your. Right. We already have New York, but other people outside of New York see it.

[Kamala Harris]

Yeah, that's a great thing. Theme song. I like the music.

[Mark Duplass]

We need her on. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

[John Lovett]

That's smarter. That's smarter.

[Mark Duplass]

Or like, any of the Marvel shows that shoot in Atlanta, go there.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. You know, today we were recording advertisements. That's part of it. And you sell out, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so you know Blank Mellon University, named after Andrew Blank. Okay, okay. How do you say that name?

[Kamala Harris]

Carnegie.

[John Lovett]

Carnegie.

[Kamala Harris]

I went there.

[John Lovett]

Right? Wait, you went there?

[Kamala Harris]

I went to Carnegie Melon Universe.

[John Lovett]

That's what they say, right? They say Carnegie Mellon and they wear tartan.

[Kamala Harris]

So, yes, yes.

[John Lovett]

So it is Carnegie. Everybody made fun of me. I'm sorry. Tommy made fun of me.

[Kamala Harris]

Let's call Tommy. Yeah. Carnegie. I mean, you know, if you're lazy, you say Carnegie Mellon.

[Mark Duplass]

You know what happened?

[John Lovett]

What?

[Mark Duplass]

It was Dale Carnegie, the guy who wrote the how to Win Friends and Influence People that became more popular than the university, and it took over. That's what happened.

[John Lovett]

Oh, he influenced too many people.

[Mark Duplass]

Dale.

[John Lovett]

A lesson.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Or they just ain't got the right pr.

[John Lovett]

People see, it is Carnegie Hall.

[Zeynep Johnson]

That's.

[John Lovett]

I think it's Carnegie Hall. How do you get to Carnegie Mellon?

[Mark Duplass]

I've definitely heard Carnegie Mellon. I've never heard Carnegie hall, but it's the same guy. That's why this is such a great topic.

[Zeynep Johnson]

Carnegie.

[Kamala Harris]

It changes.

[Mark Duplass]

It's the dress all over again.

[Kamala Harris]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

I think Kamala should do one of those Netflix roasts. Okay, when we come back, we'll end on a high note. And we're back because we all need it. Here it is, this week's high Note.

[Listener 1]

Hey, Lovett. For the last couple of years, my partner and I have struggled with unexplained infertility. And as hard as that is, which is incredibly hard, it's made even harder when you're watching the news and you see that people are actively trying to end ivf, which is possibly the only way that we could have children. And, you know, it's made even more difficult by, you know, my partner's non binary. And so these attacks against trans folks and trying to use them as a wedge issue, it just, it adds on to what's already such a difficult thing. And so my high note is that we finally got our first positive pregnancy test, and that was a couple of weeks ago. We've been monitoring. Things are going really, really well. And so, you know, we, we have our fingers crossed. But that's, that's our high note, is that after years of this difficult journey, we're finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks.

[Listener 2]

Hey, John. And everyone. My high note is that in late 2019, I decided I was going to go back to school and finally get my degree before turning 4.

[John Lovett]

40.

[Listener 2]

And now, a month before turning 40, I have my Bachelor's of science degree in computer science, so hooray. But it's just in time for the largest tech employer in my area to announce 15,000 people to be laid off despite getting $8.5 billion from the Biden Harris administration. So instead of wallowing about it in the fact that I'm not going to get any student loan relief, I've decided to go back to my old stomping grounds of southeast Michigan, where I used to be an OFA volunteer back in the day, and encourage people to go out and vote and to vote their conscience this year. So there's something. Have a good one.

[John Lovett]

Thanks. Everybody shared a high note tonight. If you want to send us a message about something that made you feel hopeful, send us a Voice memo to LowlyHighNoteCrooked.com L O L I High NotesRooked.com or if you're a Friend of the Pod subscriber, which you should all be, you can put one in the channel there. Also. There's like, what, 27 days until the election. Everybody sign up. @ votesave america. I know how many people listen to this show. I know how many people signed up. There's a big difference. How many people here have signed up for Votes of America. A lot of hands went up later because you knew it was free to raise your hand. Please sign [e-mail] that is our show. Thank you so much to Representative Kar Dove. Thank you so much. Zeta Johnson and mar. There are 23 days until the 2024 elections. Have a great night and have a great weekend.

[Mark Duplass]

Thank you.

[John Lovett]

Love it or Leave it is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, Chris Lord is our producer and Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Halle Kiefer is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles and Mohanad El Shige are our writers. Evan Sutton is our editor, Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer and Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by sure Shure. Thanks to our designer Bernardo Serna for creating and running all of our vision, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers David toles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman and Matt DeGroat for filming and editing video each week. So you can it.

[H]

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[John Lovett]

Days.

[H]

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