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- [00:00]
John Lovett
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- [01:20]
Hallie Keefer
with VRBoCare.
- [01:21]
John Lovett
Help is always ready before, during and after your stay. We've planned for the plot twists so support is always available because a great
- [01:31]
Hallie Keefer
trip starts with peace of mind.
- [01:44]
John Lovett
Hey everybody. Welcome to a very special Memorial Day episode of Love it or Leave It. I'm of course Sarah getting married to it says here the love of my life in a few days so we will be off next week but I want to make sure what it says here.
- [02:00]
Tim Miller
That was funny.
- [02:01]
John Lovett
I thought it was funny.
- [02:02]
Sarah Lazarus
Do you want to make some edits?
- [02:04]
John Lovett
So we will be off next week but before we go I want to make sure I caught up with my work husbands and wives before the summer kicks off. So in this episode I am joined by Love it or Leave it writers Hallie Keefer and Sarah Lazarus who are here to answer questions from our loyal friends of the pod. I'm Also told there will be jokes at my expense, which is so unlike the two of them. Shocking to hear. I hope everything's okay. But first, I'm joined by my pal Tim Miller of the Bulwark. We ran through some of the biggest stories of the week, including this brand new DOJ slush run that frankly shocks the conscience. All right, I'm here with the Bulwarks, Tim Miller. Tim, it's good to see you.
- [02:38]
Tim Miller
It's good to see you. Somebody told me that on Pod Save America, you announced that you wanted to join the Bulwark, which I appreciate. I haven't listened to it yet because, you know, I'm not really a weekly listener of Pod Save America, but the word is out that you said that.
- [02:52]
John Lovett
I'll tell you what happened.
- [02:53]
Tim Miller
I don't want to know any more details, actually. I just want. I just want to welcome you.
- [02:56]
John Lovett
Well, thanks. Thanks for having me. Well, I'll tell you the details anyway. We were talking about Tina Peters, the woman that Colorado Governor Jared Polis commuted the sentence of. She had been convicted for her involvement as a government official in facilitating the 2020 election lies by Donald Trump. Donald Trump demanded her release if you went to Tina Peters Twitter feed. Even just before her sentence was commuted, her allies were saying that Trump should invade Colorado if Polis does not free Tina Peters. And I was surprised to find that my two Pod Save America co host Tommy's view was that he couldn't get his Irish up about this topic. And John said he thought that Jared Polis made a good decision because she was a first time nonviolent. And they had their arguments and I heard them and I understand them and there's some nuance to it, but I thought, what am I doing here? I gotta go join the people with the pitchforks over at the Bulwark because as far as I'm concerned. Lock her up, Tim.
- [04:00]
Tim Miller
Well, you'd always be welcome. But maybe we should just do a trade then, because I took the Favreau position. Everyone else was on your side. Well, John, everyone else was on your side, though, so you. So a trade would be appropriate. You'd have to work every day then. Because I did the podcast daily and then I could only work the two days.
- [04:16]
John Lovett
Yeah, but we're. We're in the quality business over here. Podcast.
- [04:20]
Tim Miller
Let me know if you're interested.
- [04:22]
John Lovett
Well, listen, enough chitchat, enough banter. We've got news to get through. Tim. I'll think about it. I'll think about it. It's an interesting trade. I Think they'd probably want me plus somebody else, I think, for you. First round draft pick or something. But anyway, a lot going on. Wembley, just. Fuck. Webley. Webby.
- [04:42]
Tim Miller
Wembley.
- [04:42]
John Lovett
Webby.
- [04:43]
Tim Miller
Wemby.
- [04:44]
John Lovett
Oh, yeah. Wemby boy. Really sinking him from downtown. Okay, here we go. I was chilled to say that.
- [04:50]
Tim Miller
Yeah, it was a long ball. Yeah, it was like a 30 footer. It was unbelievable.
- [04:55]
John Lovett
It was unbelievable.
- [04:56]
Tim Miller
Like an alien from downtown. Most amazing things from downtown.
- [04:59]
John Lovett
It was a big shot from downtown. But speaking of people just throwing out Hail Mary's this week, the Trump administration decided they're just. That they're just going to go ahead and steal money from the treasury and give it to their friends. First up, we have acting Attorney General. Though he's not acting much like an attorney general is Todd Blanche. That was. The case was dismissed by the judge last night. Yeah, because you moved to create this fund. I didn't move. I did not move the settlement result.
- [05:26]
Ted Cruz
Mr. Attorney General, come on. So let me, let me.
- [05:30]
John Lovett
So you're not going to. You're not going to submit this proposal to any federal judge or independent. There is no judge. Any independent authority that. An independent. What does that mean, an independent authority?
- [05:40]
Ted Cruz
It means not somebody who's getting to
- [05:42]
John Lovett
pick five of the members.
- [05:43]
Ted Cruz
Who was the President's former personal attorney. That would be somebody who would be independent.
- [05:47]
John Lovett
I'm the acting Attorney general, okay. The fact that I used to be President Trump's lawyer is just a fact, but I am the acting Attorney General. So don't say the president's former personal lawyer will do something. The acting Attorney general will do something. Mr. Attorney General, you are acting today like the President's personal attorney. And that's the whole problem. You've got his whole. You have a whole banner of his face hanging over the Department of Justice, and you and everybody else walks under it. Nice little moment for our man Chris Van Hollen there, Tim.
- [06:15]
Tim Miller
What's his age? Is Van Holland. Can we throw him in the 20, 28 mix? Is he young enough?
- [06:21]
John Lovett
I don't know, but he just got a little speculation boner just from this traveling through the ether. What do you make of Todd Blanche saying, how dare you, sir, accuse me of being Trump's former personal attorney when I am the acting Attorney general?
- [06:36]
Tim Miller
Yeah, I think the lady doth protest too much on it, for sure. With Todd Blanche. I don't know. I've been working around something on this. Love it. I'm interested to hear your take on it because it's so outrageous that it's Kind of like it's hard to even find the words for this idea that Donald Trump could pretend like he had emotional distress over something and then have his own attorney general give him a slush fund of $1.8 billion that he gets to hand out to his friends without any oversight, without any knowledge. It feels, like, wrong to say unprecedented, because we say unprecedented a lot. It feels like it's, like, uber unprecedented. We need. We need a German word.
- [07:17]
John Lovett
Yeah. To suggest it's unprecedented implies in the same way that, like, you know, when you break a record at the marathon, you've. You've achieved something that went down.
- [07:26]
Tim Miller
There could have been a precedent that people had thought about it before. This is a whole new thing that they just invent. And I think the right thing to do is just to call it what it is, which is reparations for whites. It's reparations for MAGA whites. That's what this is. And I think that would be a very unpopular thing to campaign on, you know, which is that, like, the people have been mean to my supporters in the media, and, you know, they. They were targeted after they charged the Capitol, and we didn't like that. And, you know, they were treated unfairly, and they need reparations. So we need reparations for whites, and the taxpayers should pay for it. And, like, that's what it is. And I feel like if it was pitched that way, it would have, you know, like an 8% approval, probably. I don't think that would be very popular, but maybe I'm wrong. I don't know.
- [08:12]
John Lovett
The idea of just whatever you call it, that we're at the point where Trump believes he can get away with just taking $1.776 billion from the treasury and handing it over to a star chamber of his buddies to give out to insurrectionists or whoever he decides. We may never know who those people are. They seem to want to try to keep it under wraps.
- [08:34]
Tim Miller
Some child rapists, probably quite a few of the people who have been pardoned turned out to be child rapists. So probably a couple of them will get some money.
- [08:41]
John Lovett
How did we get to this point? Right? Like, Donald Trump would not have tried this in his first term. It's so ridiculous and beyond the pale. And there would have been, I think, outrage even from some Republicans had this happened in the first term, maybe even had this happened at the beginning of this term. But at every step of the way, I think even Donald Trump has been surprised by how little resistance he's facing. And so it took A lot of failures to get to the point where he thought he could get away with this. It's pretty extraordinary, right? The fact that there are members of the United States Senate who said that Donald Trump had permanently stained his reputation because of January 6, that it was sort of a terrible and important part of his legacy, that they had lost them because of what Trump did on January 6th. We have now come full circle to the point where these are people refusing to criticize Trump for stealing money from the taxpayers to pay potential insurrectionists.
- [09:36]
Tim Miller
And imagine waking up on January 7th and having, you know, the ghost of MAGA future coming to you and saying, not only will Trump win again, not only will the people that beat up the cops be pardoned, but there will be a fund honoring them as patriots and they will receive a taxpayer payout of $1.8 billion. It would have been hard to even process that that was possible. It would have been very scary. I probably would have gone underground or to Uruguay or something if you told me that was happening. It would, I think augurs pretty concerningly about the other things that are happening in the country. But like if you said that to any of those people you're talking about, okay, if you said that to John Thune, like that this is what's going to happen and you will support it, you know, they high minded you would have gotten high and haughty actions like, oh, you have tds, like, this is crazy. I do not support the cop attackers. I, I, we back the blue in this party. We would never do that. We would never do something like that.
- [10:35]
John Lovett
They would have said you were crazy. They would have said that that's ridiculous. They would not believe that they could be that person. Right? Like I, like I think that they're, they wouldn't even be lying. Like, I think they would have sincerely believed that that was as inconceivable to us then as it would have been to them. That, Right. But that's how like Trump has slowly marched these people further and further from integrity. And I think, like, even they would be surprised by the people they've become. And like, yes, Todd Blanche is responsible. Right? He is auditioning for Attorney General and he is even more craven than Pam Bondi, if that's even, you know, or at least tied for first. Congressional majorities are often held responsible for the actions of the President, sometimes fairly, sometimes unfairly. They're often held responsible for the economic conditions, sometimes fairly, sometimes unfairly. I don't think in our lives that there has been a Congress more deserving of being held accountable for the president than this Congress, like this Congress, is responsible for enabling so much of what Trump has been able to do. And the fact that he is willing to do this kind of a fund speaks to just how urgent it is to kick these Republicans out.
- [11:36]
Tim Miller
And the Congress hasn't done anything this year, so. Yeah, like, they don't even have their own agenda.
- [11:43]
John Lovett
No, it's crazy. Nothing. Speaking of members of Congress defending the indefensible, here we have Ted Cruz being cornered by, of course, TMZ. Do you think violent, convicted and then pardon January 6th rioters. Do you think that they should be eligible for this sort of slush fund? You were not remotely concerned when Joe
- [12:02]
Ted Cruz
Biden weaponized the Department of Justice.
- [12:04]
John Lovett
Gotcha. To go after his political opponents. Trump was indicted not once, four separate times. The greatest abuse of the rule of
- [12:13]
Ted Cruz
law in our nation.
- [12:14]
John Lovett
Do you think January 6th rioters should be eligible for this money?
- [12:18]
Ted Cruz
I believe people who engage in active
- [12:20]
John Lovett
violence should be prosecuted and face consequences. I believe people who engage in peaceful protest are protected under the First Amendment. I wrote an entire book on this entitled Justice Corrupted how the Left weaponized. Please just answer my question. And why are you not concerned about the abuse of. Because I'm concerned about this today. Today I know you're concerned about. So you won't answer the question? Are you going to answer the question, sir? I have answered. You didn't. It's just not consistent. Do you think the January 6th riders are eligible for the Slash fund? Thanks, Ted. Loving that TMZ energy. Saying, like, TMZ is, like, politically motivated. Like, okay, man, it's tmz. Like, they're just. They're just ask. That was great. That was great. I appreciated that.
- [13:00]
Tim Miller
They're quick, House. They just want the good. They just want the goods. They don't care who it is. Ted announcing his pitch in his book, though. And if we are going to just grade as figure skating judges. And what he did there was absolutely appalling and offensive and, like, hypocritical. Like I. For years, Ted Cruz has been high and mighty about fraud, waste and abuse and protecting the tax dollar and balance, and he's a total hypocrite and phony. Amidst the walk being shouted at by tmz, having people around you having to defend the indefensible, being able to sneak in a book plug.
- [13:36]
John Lovett
It was good.
- [13:37]
Tim Miller
That's like a quadruple axle.
- [13:38]
John Lovett
I think he did a good job. I agree.
- [13:40]
Tim Miller
Something for that.
- [13:40]
John Lovett
I agree he pivoted. He also did say in there that he believes people that commit violence should be prosecuted. So, you know, shout out for that statement of, I don't know, old school. I can't defend it. I don't know. Minimum, minimum, minimum, nothing fucking bullshit like lowest bar possible. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of love it or leave it Coming up. Thanks to HomeServe for sponsoring this episode. You protect your health, your car, even your phone. But what about your home? It's probably your biggest investment and when things go wrong, the costs can hit hard and fast. That's where HomeServe comes in. Regular homeowners insurance usually doesn't cover a lot of the day to day wear and tear, plumbing failures, H vac breakdowns, electrical issues. You're often on your own for those. That's where HomeServe comes in. For as little as $4.99 a month, they've got your back. Repairs hit fast and hard. You could be searching for a contractor in a panic or you could already be on the phone with HomeServe's 247 hotline. Scheduling repair. It's super simple. Choose a plan for your needs and budget and when something on your plan goes wrong, just call their 247 hotline to start the repair process. Get helped homeowners like you for over 20 years with a trusted national network of 2600 local contractors. There's always times where you have to have a surprise home repair or near miss. We've had I've had a leak in my house where because it was when it was raining during the rainy season here in Los Angeles. There's just a part of my house where it rains inside. It's an old house. And homeserve would have been great. You could have the peace of mind of knowing they've got your back. And emergency repairs can be so expensive because you know, as the old saying goes, it can be fast, cheap and good. But you can only choose two, you know, help protect your home systems and your wallet with home serve against covered repairs, plans start at just 499amonth. Go to homeserve.com to find the plan that's right for you. That's homeserve.com not available everywhere. Most plans range between 499 and 1199amonth. For your first year terms apply on covered repairs. Love it or leave it is brought to you by upwork. Scaling a business takes the right expertise at the right time. Upwork helps growing teams quickly. Bring in specialized freelancers so you can move faster and take your business to the next level. Upwork is a one stop platform to find, hire and pay expert freelancers across web and software development, data and analytics, marketing, business operations and more. It gives your business fast access to specialized talent across 125 categories so you can fill skill gaps, launch projects sooner and scale support up or down without committing to full time headcount. You can browse profiles, review past work and get help scoping the role so you can hire with confidence and get started quickly with business. Plus, skip the endless searching and get matched with Upwork's top 1% of talent and find the right freelancer in under six hours. Upwork also cuts down operational hassle by handling things like contracts and payments in one place so you can spend more time running the business. Thousands of growing businesses also trust Upwork to hire flexible, high quality freelance talent for everything from one off projects to ongoing support. It's free to sign up and posting a job is easy. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's up w o r k.com Upwork.com Now Tim, a new poll from the Times came out and it finds Trump at not just his lowest approval rating of this term, the lowest they've ever measured his approval in either term at 37%. He has high disapproval on the economy, cost of living or immigration, the war in Iran and for some reason people seem to be getting the impression that the President is not focused on the issues that they care about. Here we have the President trying to prove otherwise.
- [17:06]
Ted Cruz
There will never be another building like this built. I built a lot of great things, but there will never be anything like this built. And what we have is the roof is dead flat with absolutely nothing but strength on it. It's very strong steel, it's drone proof and it's meant for our military to be able to stay on it. You get a view of Washington. This is all my money and donor's money. This is tax free. So everyone's talking about they're going to give money, they're going to give money. The money they're going to give is really for the security of that and the whole White House. What happened a couple of weeks ago at the White House, correspondent said it could not happen here. One thing that we have is we don't have people living above it. Great classical buildings, they're taken out of different parts of the world from very glamorous times. This is Rome. They like the Flat roof. Greece likes the. They call it the triangles. And you see that?
- [18:03]
John Lovett
I didn't see that. Greece. They call it the triangles. That's Greece. They call it the triangles. So he's doing now briefings outside of the construction site for the ballroom. It will have a beautiful flat roof for military. That's exciting, don't you think?
- [18:21]
Tim Miller
And a fancy bunker. And I think he was joking, but it's been really hard to get out of my head. A post that Chris Hayes shared about whether it feels like to him that Trump is building this so that he can live there forever. And I don't know. I mean, he definitely seemed like he did not like the accommodations when he went and hid in the bunker during the Black Lives Matter protests. You know, I don't think the furnishings were to his liking. It was a little dank. And now he's building himself like an ADU on the White House where he can, like, live in the bunker and, you know, would have a nice view from the roof, wheelchair accessible, nice ballroom for his parties.
- [19:08]
John Lovett
It'll be in the haunted East Wing. Yet another unpermitted ADU in the District of Columbia. Didn't bother going through the permitting process. It is strange, right, that he is so focused on the ballroom in this place with the bunker. He doesn't seem to be behaving like a renter, which is alarming, though he is quite old. You know, what have you made of.
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Tim Miller
It's gonna be done in 2028, allegedly.
- [19:37]
John Lovett
Right.
- [19:37]
Tim Miller
I don't know about you. I don't know if you've done any. Engaged in any projects around the house, but things tend to not happen on schedule. And so, you know, he doesn't seem like the kind of guy that wants to build something fancy for the next person, particularly if it's not a Republican and they're going to, you know, name it the George Floyd Memorial Ballroom or whatever. And, you know, so it's just eyebrow raising is all. I don't know.
- [20:03]
John Lovett
The focus on the monuments and the buildings and the territorial expansion to the exclusion of all else. Stories this week about how they're still menacing Greenland, that he wants to make Venezuela the 51st state. He's threatening Cuba. He has this idea of the legacy he wants to leave. Their painting, the reflecting pool. They're building that new arch that he wants to build. He's very focused on these legacy items. So I say that to be optimistic, that he just used this as yet another monument, that he's permanently altering the face of the White House. And of The District of Columbia, man, the amount of his day that is spent on this is pretty extraordinary. Like, it really is, like, a big part of what he's focused on all the time. It's all he wants to talk about. A friend of mine was saying that he was prepping leaders for meetings with Trump, and he said that if you ever feel like you're stuck, just ask to see the patio, the new Rose Garden patio. And somebody used it, and it totally worked. Like, they're in this tense moment. And he goes like, boy, you've done a beautiful job with the patio. He goes like, come see the patio. And he gives everybody on a tour of the fire patio. So some of this, I do think, is a little bit like, there's nothing deeper going on. Like, why does he want to show people the thing, like, why does a kid want to show you is the Legos he built? It's not, you know, it's not because he's a dictator. It's because he's really proud of the fact that the thing is of the space shuttle they made, you know.
- [21:24]
Tim Miller
Yeah. I mean, that is the generous interpretation. And, you know, to get at a deeper psychological level, it's just feels like something he can control.
- [21:32]
John Lovett
Yeah.
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Tim Miller
You know, he doesn't have control over the fact that he's running the country and he can't keep the Strait of Hormuz open and that, you know, people don't like him, but he can, you know, he can control his little home renovation. And so that's where he'd like to focus his mind.
- [21:49]
John Lovett
Speaking of his mind, where are you on the discourse this week about Trump and his age and whether Democrats are failing to make enough of an issue of it?
- [21:57]
Tim Miller
I'm a little torn on it. I mean, I think that it's good to talk about. I think that a lot of times when Democrats talk about what are the weaknesses of both Democrats when they talk about it, but mostly, like their critics, when they're demanding Democrats talk about it, is. They're always talking about it in, like, a meta sense. You know, it's like, people should talk about this, shouldn't they? You know, or wouldn't it be more fair if they talked about this, given the treatment of Joe Biden? You know, and, like, that is not very convincing. Right. Like, if this is true or if it's believable. What's more convincing is that somebody who is visibly deteriorating physically is embroiled in a hot war, and he might decide to do something crazy, and the more his faculties diminish the more likelihood he could do something very damaging. And that's concerning. And I think that could resonate with people. He doesn't have his hand on the tiller, so I don't know. I think objectively, I was re watching a 2016 speech of his today, and he does look different.
- [23:02]
John Lovett
Yes.
- [23:03]
Tim Miller
I mean, he has deteriorated. There was a period of time where I thought that kind of. It was a little bit of wish casting. Right. Where it's sort of like, Trump has always been crazy, kind of, and like old and weird and didn't like speaking complete sentences even when he was young. And so, you know, there was a period of time when I was kind of like, I do think this is a category difference from what we saw with Biden, but I think if you go watch him from the 2016 campaign and now, there's no doubt he's going downhill.
- [23:29]
John Lovett
Yes, for sure. And it is, it's hard. Right. It's different than Biden. Right. Because Biden withered and shrunk and got quiet and withdrew from public eye, did fewer events, and it was just a sort of a different kind of aging Trump. If you go back and watch 2016 versus now, he's kind of become this sort of grand guignal version of himself, this higher, arch, more dramatic version that kind of conceals the decline a little bit. Right. It's all bigger. And so some of it is just he no longer has the brakes on. Right. It's just, it's. There's. He no longer feels like he has to perform as a normal politician or kind of hide the worst elements of himself. Even the fact that he's doubling down on saying he doesn't care about gap. Right. Like, he just, he doesn't feel the urge to try to impress anybody or like the kinds of normals he used to think he had to kind of do an impression of a politician for. So part of it is that. But what I see with him reminds me of other people that I've seen age, which is, you know, everybody's mind wanders a little bit, especially as they get older. But it's a little bit like these thoughts are rolling down the side of a hill. And it used to be that, like, yeah, he's rolling a while, but then he grabs a branch and he can hang there for a bit. Now he's just kind of going down.
- [24:47]
Ted Cruz
He's.
- [24:47]
John Lovett
He can never get purchased. He never, he never, like, the claws never hook into the side of the mountain. He just kind of rolls and rolls and rolls and rolls which is different than what it was like before. But the comparisons to Biden, I all find, to your point, it is all very, like, meta. And there's something about Democratic pundits and kind of talkers versus Republicans, which is Democratic intellectuals view themselves as captains and Republicans view themselves as soldiers. And so Democrats say, why won't Democrats talk about Biden's age? But Republican operatives don't say, why aren't Republicans talk about Biden in the border? They say, look at the fucking border. Oh, my God, the fucking border. And they kind of like, they, they say, don't do as I say, do as I do kind of a thing. And we just are, we like, my. By the way, I'm part of this problem. Like, we. But we, like on the Democratic side, the kind of progressives and liberals, like, we put on our white gloves to type our little fucking missives, but we don't want to get our hands in the muck.
- [25:44]
Tim Miller
And I guess I'd just say on the, on the narrowest part of your question, which is, do I think that Democrats should talk more about his age? I kind of think the answer is no, actually. I think that that's motivated by this, like, bitterness that some people feel about the Biden situation or regret or whatever, or anger about how he was treated. And, like, that's all fine for people to have their feelings, but, like, what Trump is vulnerable on right now is that he got us into the stupidest war imaginable and it's causing economic harm to people while he's enriching himself and his buddies.
- [26:18]
John Lovett
Yes.
- [26:18]
Tim Miller
And so, like, and that is a thing to be actually mad about, by the way, not to be, like, mad about as a bank shot. Like, I'm mad about this because it feels unfair because of the treatment of somebody else five years ago. Right. Like, you can just be acutely mad and people are. I am. About the war itself, the economic conditions themselves, the stealing itself, and the corruption itself. And so to me, that's more potent.
- [26:43]
John Lovett
Yes, I think that's right. And inservare as once Joe Biden wasn't on the ballot, why did Joe Biden's age matter? It mattered because it came to be a symbol of the ways Democrats were unreliable, feckless, didn't care about the country's problems, weren't willing to be honest about what they saw with their own eyes. And that. That got tagged. Kamala got tagged with that. Other Democrats got tagged with that. If Donald Trump's age is an issue, we should be making part of the Midterm elections. It has to be because of some things Republicans that are running did or didn't do. And if it is so clear to people that, that Trump's age is a huge liability that Republicans are afraid to be honest about, then I. Then they should be getting questions about it. Right. Why won't you tell the truth about his age? Aren't you worried about the fact that he is erratic and losing step and maybe do something crazy and dangerous? Right. Like, I can see it becoming a factor, but you have to do two moves. The age has to be so pervasive as a problem, and then it has to be something that Republicans aren't willing to be honest about and like, just, sorry, guys, we're not there. Joe Biden and Donald Trump are not the same people. And the way they're aging looks different. And Donald Trump is in our faces every fucking day doing press conferences and being his erratic self. Yes, it's worse than it was. Yes, he's in decline, but if you're just tuning in, he's the most accessible kind of active, quote, unquote, active president we've literally ever had. So it's a little bit of a different situation. Sorry to tell you that. I'm sorry you're mad about 2020 and 2024, but that's the truth.
- [28:08]
Tim Miller
He does have the long blinks.
- [28:09]
John Lovett
Yeah, the long 10 second blanks for sure. But I'll tell you something. You know what? You know what? Age is great, Tim. I'll tell you, every time you and I have a conversation, it's just a great. It's just a great everlasting experience for the viewers. Thank you. Being part of this very special episode of Love it or Leave it, we're
- [28:27]
Tim Miller
kind of Benjamin Buttoning, actually.
- [28:29]
John Lovett
Absolutely. Absolutely.
- [28:30]
Tim Miller
So maybe that's why we're a little bit out of touch with these kind of concerns.
- [28:33]
John Lovett
Yeah. Yeah. Cause we're just getting younger. We're just getting younger and hotter. That's our move.
- [28:37]
Tim Miller
You know, it's tough being us.
- [28:40]
John Lovett
Thank you, Tim Miller, for joining. You can check out Tim on the Bulwark and you can watch speech center on YouTube. That's where Tim and I break down speeches. We, you know, we grade on style, we grade on substance. It's a great time. That's on the Love it or leave it YouTube channel. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by blinds.com, there's a version of your home you haven't lived in yet. Where the light behaves, where the rooms feel finished, where you sleep until you decide to wake up. I did that today. In fact, believe it or not, I haven't done this because pundit was at daycare. We're getting out of town and I like went to sleep at 11. I was like, I'm gonna see what happens. I'm gonna admit this in my room full of colleagues. I slept till 10am today. I never ever do that. Ever. I needed it because I have great blinds that keep it dark in there. Blinds.com has spent 30 years making it easy to find the perfect fit. With over 25 million windows covered in 50,000 five star reviews, you can feel confident you're in good hands. Whether you want to go full diy. Bring in license embedded pros to handle the measure and install or land somewhere in between. You're always in control. They make it simple to choose the level of support that works best for you, with flexibility every step of the way. Need help picking the right style? Book a free consultation with one of Blinds.com's award winning design experts. No pushy salespeople, no awkward in home visits, just real advice on your schedul. Believe in chip samples to your door fast and free. Choose from a huge variety of style options at prices that fit any budget. Everything is backed by the 100% satisfaction guarantee. Because@blinds.com, the only thing they treat better than windows is. You said that weird. Blinds.com, we have greatblinds.com blinds in our office that are fantastic and it makes it so that like we have a corner office that gets so much light it was so hot. So we got these blinds that make it better. We can like lower them to get the glare off the screens and stuff. It's made life better. Right now blinds.com is giving our listeners an exclusive $50 off when you spend $500 or more. Just use code. Love it at checkout limited time offer rules and restrictions apply. See blinds.com for details. Love IT or leave it is brought to you by stamps.com we all get the same 168 hours in a week. So how much of that time are you spending on the mail? With stamps.com you can get those hours back. It's like having a post office right at your desk or wherever you are. So you can send what you need when you need from wherever you need without the hassle. Print postage and shipping labels from your computer or phone. 24. 7 with up to 90% off UPS, USPS, FedEx and more. No lines, no trips, no waiting. Instead of having to leave your desk to send something, you can get everything done in minutes and even schedule free pickups so carriers come right to you. Whether you're sending letters, contracts, important legal documents or packages, stamps.com makes mailing simple for businesses of all sizes, including multiple location offices. You can even send certified mail with proof of delivery right from your desk. We've been using stamps.com we use stamps.com from the beginning of Cricket. It's such a huge help. It helps you get things done faster. Things can be done a minute that would have otherwise taken you like an hour to get in your car and get out of your car and all things that happen when you're parking your car and you know it's like, oh, no traffic. If mailing is taking more time and more money than it should, try stamps.com free for four weeks and get a welcome kit. Go to stamps.com love it to get this offer today. That's st ps.com lovett stamps.com love it. Taxes and fees apply. All right, without further ado, I'm going to kick it over to Hallie.
- [32:02]
Hallie Keefer
And we're back. I'm Hallie Keever. Love it to leave it head writer here with Love it himself and our senior sapphire, Sarah Lazarus with a few questions from the friends of the pod mailbag. Following that, we have a round of roast oaks about the man himself. We were recording this ahead of his nuptials and Lovett did ask us to roast him at his at his rehearsal dinner. It turns out we had way, way more than enough to than to fill three minutes. So much so we thought why not share some of the sort of B tier and or two mean jokes here with your audience. So stay tuned for some very funny jokes at Love its expense. But first, some questions from the Discord. All right, I'm gonna give you topics and you tell me what, what topic you'd like a question from. Okay, we have elections. We have wedding slash relationship stuff. We have general, lowly and random.
- [32:48]
John Lovett
Let's do. Let's do an election, a wedding and a random.
- [32:51]
Hallie Keefer
Great. Okay. Queen Samuel says it's looking like the best option for a congressional candidate in their district is a billionaire. How do you feel about voting for billionaires these days?
- [33:02]
John Lovett
So I actually talked to Tom Steyer for Polite America and I pushed him on this. Like, obviously people being able to use their own money to buy influence and buy access to the airwaves to tell whatever story they want. It's not less pernicious than people having to raise money from billionaires. It's the same problem, which is having a lot of money gives you more democratic power than it should.
- [33:30]
Sarah Lazarus
Just cut out the middleman.
- [33:31]
John Lovett
Right. They're cutting out the middleman now. That said, like, to me, you have to assess a candidate on the merits. The fact that there are billionaires having huge impact on our politics, up to and including running for office, is, like, a big systemic problem. But in any one race, you have to evaluate the candidates. Like, I'm considering voting for Tom Steyer. The fact that he's been able to spend $120 million or more on ads is a real mark against the system, and it's a worrying sign for. For. For that kind of politics. But he still may be a better governor than some of the other people. So to me, it's like, how do we address the deeper problems in the system? Both a tax code that allows people to protect huge amounts of wealth and then also a system of economic power in which people are able to accrue this money in the first place. That's how I feel about it. Like, I think you still have to evaluate candidates on the merits and see what they actually stand for and whether you believe they do it. I don't know what else to do.
- [34:30]
Sarah Lazarus
My question is, when you push Tom Stier on something, do a bunch of coins fall out?
- [34:35]
John Lovett
Well, so you got to hold them up by the.
- [34:36]
Hallie Keefer
Oh, right, yeah, sure.
- [34:37]
John Lovett
You got to shake them and shake. Is that a doubloon? God, you're rich.
- [34:43]
Hallie Keefer
And then you buy. To make sure it's real. Real gold. Yeah. I just feel like I. Similarly, it's like, I certainly would not vote for someone just because they're a billionaire, but it's unfortunate that that's even a question that we have to answer. Like, but these are sort of. I don't mean, like, it's too late, but it is too late. It is much to say. We have a system where billionaires can exist.
- [35:03]
John Lovett
It's just downriver from the problem.
- [35:05]
Hallie Keefer
Yeah.
- [35:05]
John Lovett
And. And, like, we. We on the Democratic side talk a lot about the way to use the tax code to resolve it. And we should, like, we should tax people. Us. We do a terrible job of taxing wealth. There's all kinds of ways in which billionaires can pass on their money. This day tax has been raised to ridiculously, like, high numbers before it hits. People can pass on vast sums without them ever paying capital gain tax, all kinds of problems like that. But long before you get there, how is the system rigged so that all the ways in which a person can't possibly make that kind of money on their own is able to reap so much of a share of the reward to such a huge degree compared to all the other people in the chain that made that wealth possible, Both people inside their company, people that are paving the roads, people that are protecting intellectual property, and all the other ways in which a person can't just accrue that money without a system that works for them.
- [35:55]
Hallie Keefer
So, yeah, I'm gonna ask another election question because I'm in charge of the segment and I know this is, I think this is one that we've kind of talked about in the office from Montgomery, the election season. Other than knowing enough to vote intelligently. Thoughts about the idea that stalking the news is a spectator sport. It doesn't change anything except endangering our own mental well being. What's the right level of engagement when so much feels toxic?
- [36:19]
John Lovett
So we get a version of this question all the time. And first of all, I would say there's a lot of different ways to be consuming a lot of news. I think that if you are refreshing feeds that are made for you that take you through little bits of stories over and over again that kind of, you skitter across the surface of like a lava lake, you know, all the time just sort of just dipping little toes into the evil over and over and over again. Like, I think that's very bad for your brain. But, but that said, like, if, if you want to keep up with what's happening and consume good information and that helps you both understand what's happening, make sense of it. And by the way, like, be an advocate with your friends and your family, you know, we are learning more and more about just how hard it is to reach people, right? People are not consuming news. All the ways in which news organically reached people are going away. So people are getting a lot through their feeds which they're not totally in command of. And door knocking hopefully still works. Calling people doesn't work like it used to. Texting people doesn't work like it used to. Our phones are all filled with like spam. So it turns out like relational organizing, which is person to person and people in your life is going to matter more and more. At which point being an engaged and informed person and learning what's going on, having answers to people's questions is really valuable. So unfortunately, I do think if you are hyper engaged, very engaged, like as long as you're able to do it while protecting your mental health. I do honestly think that there's value in it because you are going to be as important a source of information for people as the news used to be. But that said, like, how much is too much? Well, how do you feel? You know, you can turn it off for a bit. You won't go to jail.
- [37:53]
Hallie Keefer
Yeah.
- [37:54]
Sarah Lazarus
Go for a walk sometimes.
- [37:55]
Hallie Keefer
Yeah, yeah, I agree. I feel like sort of reading little bits of news is sort of how we write jokes. So I feel like this past year was really difficult just because that's the intention of like flood the zone. Like that was. It was by design that it's really difficult to like wrap your mind around all these things. And I would say I'm very grateful for working that working here. I was able to like immediately go talk to people and either people on lowly team or outside of it and sort of like get context for these things. That being said, I do feel like this question is framed by someone who already has decided that they're not going to read the news. And I think to your point is like, I do think we have to know and I have friends who are not tapped in the news and they have said to me like, will you let me know what I need to care about this? And I'm like, I have terrible news. You have to care about all this, like, whatever. But also I do think it's like, what are your topics that you can be informed on? Like you read about this, you read about the data centers, you tell me about it, I'll read about other things, I'll tell you about it. And that's really the only way we can manage it. Like we can't all be experts on every topic. But I do think it's like the time at which that we cannot engage has passed and so we all have to engage. And to your point, like it's just easier than to talk to one another and like not feel totally isolated by it.
- [38:57]
John Lovett
Totally. And I, but I will just. It's not just about quantity. Like if you spend an hour reading seven articles, that is a better use of time than spending two hours or three hours scrolling. And I sometimes think we. I myself, that applies to me too. Like I fool myself into believing I've caught up on the news sometimes and, and off because I have the rhythm of preparing for these shows, I realize like, oh, actually you know what? I just read three headlines and I need to click in and like there, there is also, by the way, I think it's better for your mental health too. Like, I think when you kind of get more details and more information, there's something about the, like the perfect minimal amount of information that comes from a headline and maybe one or two lines in a summary that leads to the most anxiety possible. So just click the links.
- [39:47]
Sarah Lazarus
You do start to understand how things connect to you. It's less of like noise from every angle and more like this is maybe two big stories as opposed to 16.
- [39:56]
John Lovett
Yeah, that's true too. That's a good point.
- [39:58]
Hallie Keefer
Moving on, we have some wedding questions. Me Watson. Wait. Me Swatson. Me Swatson wants to know, what wedding tradition are you most excited to totally fuck off and not use for your impending nuptials? Conversely, what is the most traditional thing about your glorious upcoming union?
- [40:14]
John Lovett
What a interesting question. So we really struggled with this because you don't like Guy Branham, who is a friend of the show. He said this to me when we got engaged and it stuck with me the whole time, which is, oh, wow. Like you're part of this, you know, real first generation of non straight weddings. You're gonna help figure out what the new traditions are.
- [40:39]
Hallie Keefer
And did you immediately start sweating?
- [40:40]
John Lovett
Like, there's like so much pressure. And I, and I feel like what I, what we've been trying to do is, okay, like there are these traditions. They don't just dismiss them to do something different, but don't embrace them unless they can have some meaning for you. And find or find somewhere in between where you're taking a tradition and adapting it to, to, to find the meaning in it. And actually I'm. We're doing some goofy shit at this wedding.
- [41:09]
Hallie Keefer
Can't wait.
- [41:09]
John Lovett
Excited for you to see it.
- [41:10]
Hallie Keefer
I like when people mix it up. I like when it feels unique to people and it doesn't feel like, oh, this is what your. This is what one of your mothers wanted.
- [41:16]
John Lovett
You know what I mean? Yeah, well, there's very little. I think we, we really tried to kind of put our take on it. And like, I wanted our wedding to be funny because we're funny and I wanted it to be silly because we're silly. And at the same time, like, I especially as I get older, I think there's a hubris in acting as if traditions don't have value. And I think that there's something about marriage and weddings in particular that you have to. You can't get married ironically, you shouldn't. And I think there's something about the tradition.
- [41:46]
Hallie Keefer
It'd be very funny to watch someone try.
- [41:48]
John Lovett
But like, but that that.
- [41:49]
Hallie Keefer
Can you believe it?
- [41:50]
John Lovett
Like, like, why, like, why are you doing this in front of everybody? Like, why are you making a spectacle? Like, what is the value of that? And really thinking about that was important. So anyway, so you are doing a
- [42:01]
Sarah Lazarus
first dance with your father.
- [42:03]
John Lovett
Yeah, first dance with the father's.
- [42:05]
Hallie Keefer
It is swing dancing, right?
- [42:07]
John Lovett
Well, like, listen, it's also like, you know, part of this is there's no word halfway between husband and wife. There's spouse, but that's like from a form. Like, who do you dance with? Who do you not dance with? There's like something also about, like, I
- [42:19]
Hallie Keefer
would love for you to all dance together. The first, like the f. Family dance.
- [42:23]
John Lovett
That's cute, but.
- [42:24]
Hallie Keefer
Okay, so do that.
- [42:25]
John Lovett
Yeah, we'll do that. But anyway. But it's been fun to think about.
- [42:27]
Hallie Keefer
Cute is a more broad relationship one. I think it's an interesting question. Lazarus would love your thoughts as well. This is from Gabby Advice Ask and Marriage Forewarning for Love it. My husband loves starting a project. But we are five months into our two week bathroom update. After a year long, quick finishing of the garage, what is too long of a time frame to live with house projects? And how would you tell your partner to get their shit together?
- [42:53]
John Lovett
Wow. Sarah, you wanna take this one?
- [42:55]
Sarah Lazarus
I don't know. I feel like if someone was updating my bathroom for me, I would never tell them. You're taking too long.
- [43:00]
Hallie Keefer
Yeah. How in disarray is the bathroom during the upkeep? Because it's like, oh, no, we have wallpaper samples or something. That's fine. If it's like the toilet's been removed, there's just a hole in the ground.
- [43:09]
Sarah Lazarus
Well then that's different conversation.
- [43:11]
John Lovett
Yeah, yeah. Sort of old style. An old style pooping situation. You just do it into that kind of hole.
- [43:16]
Hallie Keefer
Poop it old style.
- [43:17]
John Lovett
Cause last week's show we did reference the film Mr. Baseball starring Tom Selleck.
- [43:22]
Hallie Keefer
Don't say we. Somebody did.
- [43:26]
Sarah Lazarus
We're not complicit.
- [43:27]
John Lovett
So in the film Mr. Baseball, there was a scene in which he sees an old school Japanese style toilet, which is when it's kind of the hole in the ground, the kind of older style. And apparently he said in the trailer something like somebody. It's not like I'm gonna need somebody to tell me how to go to the bathroom. And then they cut to him and then he's like, how do I go to the bathroom? But apparently they edited it because it doesn't really make sense because he would certainly know how to pee in A hole. And so they literally dubbed it or changed it somehow so it says, it's not like I'm going to have to ask how to take a crap, because I must have been in the testing. People were like, why doesn't he know how to pee in a hole? Everybody knows how to pee in a hole. So then he goes like, how do I take a crap in here? That's a story about the film Mr.
- [44:12]
Hallie Keefer
Did you recently watch the movie?
- [44:14]
John Lovett
No, I just did a lot of research.
- [44:16]
Hallie Keefer
Oh, okay, great.
- [44:17]
John Lovett
I want to understand. I want to understand the context of Mr. Baseball. Oh, I, you know, look, it sounds like your husband has unmedicated adhd.
- [44:23]
Hallie Keefer
Yeah, I was gonna say if somebody. If this is my problem, my spouse confronted me about it, I would say, you know what? You're absolutely right. So I think hopefully you'll be able to speak to your spouse, both the writer and the listeners, in a way to be like, hey, I think we gotta wrap this up. And then I do think that you do. You can help them take it on to finish it. You can help someone across the. The finish line.
- [44:42]
John Lovett
That's nice.
- [44:43]
Sarah Lazarus
I guess it just depends. Like, are they busy with other stuff? Are they indecisive? It seems like this could be a lot of different problems.
- [44:48]
John Lovett
Yeah, right. I mean, you know, gotta. You gotta finish the project. I will say that you never truly. You never finish moving in. No one ever finishes moving in. You have to decide there's either a closet or a room or an act or something that never gets done. And that's important. I actually think that's something about life itself. Like, there's the drawer that's filled with the things you didn't unpack. There's the closet that has three boxes you never deal with. Like, there's a picture frame in against a wall behind a door. Like, you should never fin finish. That's important. I think there's something good in that.
- [45:16]
Sarah Lazarus
Leave that toilet in a different room.
- [45:20]
John Lovett
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- [46:30]
Hallie Keefer
Alrighty, we're going now to the random section is from Greed.
- [46:35]
John Lovett
Let's see how random. Totally random.
- [46:38]
Hallie Keefer
Totally random. Given the chance to be magically present at a culturally significant point in history, which one would you pick for me? Obviously the crucifixion of Christ. I wouldn't have a good time, but I'm like, well, I've certainly heard enough about it. Obviously everything else would pale in comparison. And I guess I could do the birth of Christ, but I don't know.
- [46:58]
Sarah Lazarus
It's just a baby.
- [46:59]
John Lovett
Yeah, I've seen a baby that's just, that's just a. That's just a baby that they're not letting inside, right?
- [47:04]
Hallie Keefer
Yeah, it's just a baby.
- [47:06]
John Lovett
It's just a barn baby.
- [47:07]
Hallie Keefer
I was a baby in a barn over it. What about you?
- [47:10]
John Lovett
Let's think about that one.
- [47:11]
Hallie Keefer
It's culturally significant, which I think it's very broad. Well, it's like any kind of.
- [47:15]
John Lovett
We don't know about the insignificant cultural moments.
- [47:17]
Hallie Keefer
You're right. That's kind of sad.
- [47:18]
John Lovett
How would you think of it? How would you even think about it?
- [47:20]
Sarah Lazarus
I guess we've been in a lot of those.
- [47:22]
Hallie Keefer
This show is made entirely of culturally insignificant moments.
- [47:25]
John Lovett
Hey, hey, hey.
- [47:26]
Hallie Keefer
I mean like Mr. Baseball. I mean, we're making movies. This is culture.
- [47:31]
John Lovett
We make culture.
- [47:32]
Hallie Keefer
Reference culturally insignificant points. There we go.
- [47:36]
John Lovett
Absolutely. Really good.
- [47:37]
Hallie Keefer
Give them another dignity, you know, Lazarus, where would you want to go?
- [47:42]
Sarah Lazarus
The first thing I thought of was sea biscuits mattress with admiral. But that's not my answer. The first thing I thought of.
- [47:47]
John Lovett
You want to go to. You're going to go to old horse race.
- [47:49]
Sarah Lazarus
Yeah, but that's not my answer.
- [47:50]
John Lovett
Let me think. What would I want to observe? Can I make money using this? When I come back to the present,
- [47:54]
Hallie Keefer
I can't see it doesn't say you can't.
- [47:57]
John Lovett
And am I interacting? Am I interacting with people or no?
- [48:00]
Hallie Keefer
Yeah, I think for me it's like if I'm. If I'm at the crucifixion of Christ, I'm like dressed like them. Like, I think you're contextualized, but you're
- [48:06]
John Lovett
not changing it, you're just observing it. Yeah, I think it's present horrible.
- [48:10]
Sarah Lazarus
Ooh, I do the moon landing.
- [48:12]
Hallie Keefer
Would you be on the moon or.
- [48:14]
Sarah Lazarus
I'd get to see how they faked it.
- [48:15]
John Lovett
Oh, wow.
- [48:16]
Hallie Keefer
Yeah, that's good.
- [48:16]
John Lovett
But then they'll be like, wait, but how are you there? Are you gasping for air? Are you one of the astronauts? Are you an ex? They would be shocked to have you
- [48:31]
Hallie Keefer
place. You would just appear on the moon and then just be flat. Who's that woman over there?
- [48:37]
John Lovett
I guess in. I guess this is more like, like Ghost of Christmas future style where you're kind of visiting but not disturbing. Like imagine you're just getting to kind of see it like it's on tv. Oh, the moon landing is a great idea.
- [48:50]
Hallie Keefer
Yeah, that's a good one. Cuz so many culturally significant moments are horrible.
- [48:54]
John Lovett
Sad, right?
- [48:55]
Hallie Keefer
I guess, including.
- [48:56]
Sarah Lazarus
But I guess you do want to go to something that wasn't televised because it's. You can see the moon landing.
- [49:00]
John Lovett
Right? That's a good point. You kind of want to go old with this. It would be. Yeah, I think, like you want to. It's interesting. Like, where would I want to go? I think it's something like medieval. I want to see something.
- [49:11]
Sarah Lazarus
A total eclipse in medieval Europe would be fun.
- [49:14]
John Lovett
But then you really do want to speak. Be like, if everyone gives me $100, I'll fix it. Why is this always where my head goes? Jewish, have that. Jewish.
- [49:25]
Hallie Keefer
She's allowed to say it.
- [49:26]
John Lovett
We're allowed to say it. But yeah, I think something medieval would be nice, you know, or even older. Right. Like, let's go to King Arthur's court, get a vibe on that.
- [49:34]
Hallie Keefer
Or see a dinosaur. Is that a culture? It's a difficult point in history. I guess it is.
- [49:38]
John Lovett
The meteor hitting. Let's go see the meteor hit.
- [49:40]
Hallie Keefer
That's so cool. Yeah. As long as we could just like be out of there.
- [49:43]
John Lovett
The meteor hitting was culture for sure.
- [49:44]
Hallie Keefer
Yeah.
- [49:45]
John Lovett
For dinosaurs it was a big part of that.
- [49:48]
Hallie Keefer
The most important cultural moment.
- [49:50]
John Lovett
I guess that's an interesting, though, like, techno, like, just sort of is the meteor hitting the earth and killing all the dinosaurs.
- [49:55]
Sarah Lazarus
Culture was there culture before people?
- [49:59]
John Lovett
Yes, yes. I think I would say that dinosaurs had culture.
- [50:02]
Sarah Lazarus
I would say culture is a human. A human invention, really.
- [50:06]
Hallie Keefer
According to Merriam Webster, the culture is the beliefs, customs, arts, et cetera, of a particular social group, place, or time. So I guess did the dinosaurs have beliefs? I suppose is a question.
- [50:16]
John Lovett
But I would say elephants do.
- [50:18]
Hallie Keefer
Yeah.
- [50:18]
John Lovett
That they fucking hate those people making them ride around and stuff. Hate them, hate them, hate them.
- [50:27]
Hallie Keefer
So I think that was. That was. That was a good one. All right, great. Let's wrap this up and on to the jokes.
- [50:33]
John Lovett
All right, we come back. I'm gonna hear some of these jokes that were either too bad or too mean to be part of my happiest time in my life.
- [50:46]
Hallie Keefer
Great.
- [50:46]
John Lovett
And we're back. All right, I'm gonna kick it over to Hallie. Once again, here are the Roast jokes that were too hot for my parents,
- [50:54]
Hallie Keefer
I guess too hot for love. Its parents. We're just gonna trade off telling Roast jokes that we have written. And then also, we have a gift for you at the end, I guess, as a thank you for letting us do this.
- [51:06]
John Lovett
Sure.
- [51:06]
Sarah Lazarus
And also, we're sorry.
- [51:08]
Hallie Keefer
All right, Sarah, if you would, please kick us off.
- [51:09]
John Lovett
I'm, like, genuinely nervous. Okay. Yeah, let's go. This is exciting.
- [51:12]
Sarah Lazarus
It's always so special when two grumpy, politically active Jews fall in love. You guys are like the Julius Nelthel Rosenberg of your generation. I'm sorry. Of your respective generations.
- [51:22]
John Lovett
Oh, that's good. That's good. Because we have an age gap. Yeah, that's good.
- [51:25]
Hallie Keefer
One more from Sarah.
- [51:26]
John Lovett
Julius Ethel Rosenberg. I see why it got cut. Okay. It's great. It's great.
- [51:32]
Sarah Lazarus
Honestly, though, no one would ever guess that you and Ari had a significant age gap. You look amazing, Lovett. Those transfusions of Ari's Gen Z blood have really paid off.
- [51:42]
Hallie Keefer
All right. Lovett and Ari together are a beautiful example of queer love. And Lovett by himself is a cautionary tale about overestimating one's widespread commercial appeal.
- [51:56]
Tim Miller
Wow.
- [51:56]
John Lovett
Okay. Really good. Mm.
- [51:59]
Sarah Lazarus
There's no denying that Lovett is hilarious. Not on his show so much, but one time he showed us security camera footage of himself falling down in his driveway and trapping his McDonald's. And we have a clip.
- [52:10]
Hallie Keefer
This is my Zapruder film, but good. Complimentary. So we're watching. Love it. He pulled a big fat bag of McDonald's. He's going back to his car. Oh, he fell down, I think.
- [52:22]
Sarah Lazarus
Hilarious.
- [52:23]
Hallie Keefer
Hilarious stuff.
- [52:24]
John Lovett
What did I think? I forgot. I went downhill.
- [52:26]
Hallie Keefer
It's either your wallet or your phone. Because you're patting your pants, you turn around and you just eat shit.
- [52:30]
Ted Cruz
I did.
- [52:30]
John Lovett
I really did.
- [52:30]
Sarah Lazarus
Oh, no, My pocket hamburger still in the car, right?
- [52:33]
Hallie Keefer
Yeah, you stuffed a couple in for later. I'd actually never listened to Love it or Leave it before I submitted the package right for the show. And I swear to God I'm gonna get around to it any day now.
- [52:41]
John Lovett
Nice. Yeah, nailed it.
- [52:43]
Sarah Lazarus
Writing for Lovett is exciting because he always wants to do jokes that no other late night host would touch. For good reasons. It turns out a lot of people
- [52:50]
Hallie Keefer
don't know this, but rats once chewed through the wires in Ari's car engine. That or Lovett spotted some loose French fries and dropped in there. Am I right? This guy knows what I'm talking about and he must be stopped. All jokes aside, Lovett somehow manages to put all jokes aside. See again, through the B tier, we have better ones.
- [53:07]
Sarah Lazarus
Yeah, yeah.
- [53:07]
Hallie Keefer
And also I will say the ones we're doing are much meater than this even reading now. So I said thank you and I'm sorry. We. We. If you are listening to pod. If not, why are you listening to this one first? That's insane. I used to be like Tim Miller. I get that. Okay, so we have both received a sandwich after winning a bet. Love bet us that a joke would work. And we were both right that it wouldn't. However, recently, Lovett has taken our suggestions to cut down or cut a joke entirely. He wanted to reward it with a gift he once saw in a dream. That's right, Ladies and gentlemen, we have brought him the Sapphic Token.
- [53:39]
John Lovett
The Sapphic token.
- [53:41]
Hallie Keefer
Thank you.
- [53:41]
John Lovett
Wow.
- [53:42]
Hallie Keefer
Lovett, can you explain what the Sapphic token is?
- [53:43]
John Lovett
Yes. I had a dream. And here was the dream.
- [53:45]
Hallie Keefer
Thank you.
- [53:46]
John Lovett
The dream was I was in some kind of a vintage store, antique store, and I picked up a tiny blue elephant. And I was told or discovered or somehow came to know that this was what was called in the dream the Savage Sapphic Token. And when you look at it, you become a lesbian. That's it.
- [54:01]
Hallie Keefer
Great. Well, so we. I ordered it and I was afraid it wasn't arriving time, so we did print out a photo if the Sapphic token. And then we signed it. If you want to open it up and show it to the cameras.
- [54:12]
John Lovett
It's beautiful.
- [54:13]
Hallie Keefer
Because this is when you pictured. This is what I pictured. Is this about right or what was it more like.
- [54:17]
John Lovett
I'll tell you something, I've actually. I've never really described it. I'm realizing now it was kind of a elephant Buddha sitting like this, but an elephant. That was what it. But this. This very much evokes the vibe of the Sapphic Token. It's sort of a. Kind of a. Kind of some, like. It feels like of another time. Oh, my God.
- [54:37]
Hallie Keefer
And here's the Sapphic token itself. And it's a little cute bag.
- [54:40]
John Lovett
This is cool. Beautiful.
- [54:44]
Hallie Keefer
You're welcome. And we're glad that we could make your dreams come true. And we're excited to see your dreams come true during your wedding.
- [54:51]
Tim Miller
Wow.
- [54:51]
John Lovett
Wait, can we cut? Let's see. Let's look at that little. Can you. Can you see it? Put it like that. You can kind of see.
- [54:57]
Sarah Lazarus
Here, hold this behind it.
- [54:58]
Hallie Keefer
Oh, yeah, yeah.
- [54:58]
John Lovett
Oh, yeah. There we go.
- [55:01]
Hallie Keefer
There it is. The Sapphic token, everybody. Great. We did it.
- [55:05]
John Lovett
We did it. Thank you both. Thank you for everything you do to make this show funny and everything you do to stop me from making it less funny.
- [55:12]
Hallie Keefer
We do our best every week.
- [55:15]
John Lovett
Thank you to Bill. Thank you to Kelsey, new to the team. Thanks to Charlotte to Delon on the ones and twos. And I'll see you on the other side. And I hope we don't have a situation where I'm left at the altar. We'll find out together. We'll find out together.
- [55:30]
Hallie Keefer
Can't wait. Can't wait.
- [55:34]
John Lovett
Love it or leave it is a crooked media production. Our show is produced by Kendra James, Bill McGrath, Kelsey Gante, and me, John Lovett. Our production team includes Hallie Keeper, Sarah Lazarus, David Tony, Claudia Shang, Jay Banks, Gavin Purcell, and Matt De Groat. And our staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.