Boo York City

Summary

Lovett or Leave It: "Boo York City"

Date: June 11, 2026
Host: Jon Lovett
Guests: Michael Urie, Kel Cripe
Theme: Satirical dissection of the week’s political news, reflections on therapy’s cultural status, personal stories of identity and memory, plus a signature rapid-fire rules segment.

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Episode Overview

Jon Lovett returns with a classic mix of political lampooning and culture commentary, joined by actor Michael Urie and comedian Kel Cripe. The episode explores the spectacle around Trump’s appearance at the NBA Finals, the paranoia and reality of election fraud claims, and shifts cultural gears to dissect therapy’s place in contemporary life, resilience in the face of personal history, and everyday comic absurdities. The comedic, swinging tone veers from sharp political satire to heartwarming, queer-affirming storytelling—all topped with “They/Thems the Rules,” a playfully dictatorial new-world-order game.

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Political Satire: Trump, the NBA Finals, and LA Election Meltdowns

[00:04 – 08:11]

Key Points:

• Trump becomes the first sitting president to attend an NBA Finals game in New York. His appearance draws mass boos—both in the stadium and citywide.
• Lovett lampoons the sequence of events, from Trump’s mangled “K Nicks” pronunciation to a panicked Jumbotron operator and general public derision.

Notable Quotes:

“It was as if all of New York City was booing a single man. I couldn't imagine anything worse other than being a single woman.” — Jon Lovett [01:22]

"You took your weird penis out." — (Audience joke, ribbing the ongoing gags) [02:04]

• Trump’s impact on the game is blamed for the Knicks’ loss, segueing into a satirical comparison between the Knicks losing and the war in Iran.

"We were overconfident after a series of victories and caught off guard by a surprisingly strong defense. That's about the war in Iran, but it also applies to the game…" — Jon Lovett [02:53]

• Lovett ridicules Trump’s post-game attempts to spin the negative reception as enthusiastic support.

"It was loud and very enthusiastic." — As Trump, mocking both his claims and infamous exaggerations [03:28]

• Shifts to Trump’s claims of LA voter fraud after reality star Spencer Pratt falls behind in the polls, using it to lampoon both city governance and MAGA paranoia.

Timestamps:

• Boos and NBA Game Jokes: [00:04 – 03:16]
• Trump’s spin and post-game take: [03:16 – 03:28]
• Voter fraud memes in LA: [03:28 – 07:06]
• Mocking Republican claims and slow ballot counts: [04:57 – 07:06]

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Cultural Satire: LA Bureaucracy and Grocery Store “Fraud”

[03:28 – 07:06]

• Lovett pokes fun at LA’s fragmented government: "Los Angeles divides authority across multiple layers of government, creating a convoluted bureaucracy that [stifles] progress and allows politicians to pass the buck, you idiot." [03:59]
• Roasts the perpetually slow California vote counting (“…the ballots must first be sorted by the voter's astrological sign.” [05:46])
• Lampoons the “true” LA fraud: Gelson’s charging Erewhon prices for Pavilions products. [06:26]

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Shrinking, Therapy Fads, and Michael Urie’s Life on Stage

[13:11 – 25:33]

Guest: Michael Urie (actor, "Shrinking," "Oh, Mary!")

Key Points:

• They riff on the fleeting pop culture status of therapy: therapy was "in" post-pandemic, now everyone’s “just living in our own filth.” [13:27 – 14:05]
• Michael Urie discusses his “googly eye” due to a severed nerve and how it became both a performance quirk and an inside joke, notably in his play “Oh, Mary!” with Jinkx Monsoon.
• Harrison Ford stories abound, including Urie’s accidental outing of Ford at NYC Pride, which led Ford’s bodyguards to hustle him away from the crowd.

Notable Quotes:

“We never processed our collective trauma. Yes. Kind of in the same way how, like, after the Spanish flu, it was really about how World War I was so terrible…Not as many poems about the influenza. A lot of poems about the trenches.” — Jon Lovett [14:05]

"When you meet somebody who has a funny eye, you don't know which one to look at." — Michael Urie on the award-winning awkwardness of stage eye contact [19:05]

• Anecdotes about “Shrinking” filming: Harrison Ford was genuinely confused during a Les Mis sing-off scene, making his on-camera reactions completely authentic. [22:14 – 23:10]

Timestamps:

• Therapy’s status and post-pandemic mental health: [13:27 – 14:05]
• The googly eye story: [14:41 – 17:24]
• Harrison Ford at Pride and impact stories: [23:19 – 25:16]

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Queer Memory, Trans Joy & Accepting Our Pasts: Spotlight on Kel Cripe

[31:02 – 39:39]

Guest: Kel Cripe (comedian, "What the Ruck?", solo show "The Magic Computer")

Key Points:

• Cripe introduces “rucking” (walking with a weighted vest) as both a tongue-in-cheek and practical movement, plus her physical comedy approach.
• Discusses creating “The Magic Computer,” a one-person show about reconciling with one’s past—especially as a trans person confronting pre-transition photos.

Notable Quotes:

"I was having a really hard time reconciling acknowledging my past when the person in my pictures reflected everything I spent so long getting away from…when you try to forget about the past, you lose along with it all of the lovely people and memories you have." — Kel Cripe [34:00]

"The only person that's ever reacted properly is a dentist named Phil…he just goes, ‘Oh my gosh, I look so different too.’" — Kel Cripe, on normalizing physical change for everyone [36:14]

• Lovett and Cripe swap stories about trans experience in daily life, including candid takes on family photos, memory, and how to retrain both personal and social norms.

Timestamps:

• Rucking explained: [31:12 – 32:18]
• “The Magic Computer” and memory: [34:00 – 39:39]

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Game Segment: They/Thems the Rules

[41:38 – 49:20]

Premise: Kel invents new universal rules; panelists agree (binding verdict!) or dispute.

Highlights:

• Only four TV shows at any time: “One sad, one scary, one gay (in space), one gay (about a made-up sport like hockey).” [42:13]
• Protein is “over”—why not eat bread and cookies instead? [42:40]
• "Judge a book by its cover"—buying books qualifies as reading (extra points for viewing bookshelf as a wine cellar). [43:17]
• Maximum $20 entrees; fries always included: “If you make me pay extra for fries. Guillotine.” [46:04]
• Queer world order: “Everyone is presumed gay until proven straight. The closet is for straight people now.” [46:52]
• Plantar fasciitis is sexy. Adult fidget spinners are a sign of maturity. All phones must have unibody vapor cooling. [47:54 – 48:48]

Notable Quotes:

"Protein is protein. Actually, you don't need to use flour. You can just make this with meat." — Jon Lovett [43:00]

"The closet is for straight people now. Time to switch it up." — Kel Cripe [46:54]

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Reflection: Second Thoughts

[49:48 – End]

Panel discusses

• Lovett’s regrets about some of his obscure jokes (Sex and the City/Citizen Kane double-head; Superman 2 plot explainer).
• Library advocacy and the importance of public spaces: “Libraries are third spaces for everyone to enjoy.” — Kel Cripe [51:02]
• Revisiting the “who would you have dinner with, dead or alive” question as valid small talk.

Notable Quotes:

“Who is this show for?” — Jon Lovett, reflecting dryly after layered pop references [51:17]

"We should all be supporting the public library." — Kel Cripe [51:08]

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Memorable Moments & Audience Laughs

• Harrison Ford as innocent bystander at NYC Pride, nearly swarmed thanks to Urie’s enthusiastic pointing [25:11]
• Shrinking’s authentic Les Mis singoff with an oblivious Ford [22:13 – 23:10]
• “You took your weird penis out.” — (Mock interruption riffing on a Trump scandal) [02:04]
• Reframing protein craze as a cultural regression: “You don’t need to use flour, just meat.” [43:00]
• “Everyone is presumed gay until proven straight…The closet is for straight people now…” [46:52]

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Episode Takeaways

“Boo York City” swings from hard-edged satire of American political spectacle and right-wing paranoia, through pop culture skewering and queer storytelling, to surprisingly sweet reflections on memory, identity, and embracing one’s personal history. Lovett, Urie, and Cripe keep the tone irreverent but sneak in potent points about the modern world—especially around accepting ourselves, rethinking normalcy, and never, ever letting fries be an upcharge.

For deeper wisdom or just a hearty laugh, this episode delivers both in spades.

Transcript

[A]

Love it or leave It. It's Love it or leave it. Welcome to Love it or Leave it. Live from Los Angeles, I'm John Lovett, and in my attic there's a portrait of me slowly going bald. We've got a great show for you tonight. Michael Urie is here. Kel Krip is here. But first, let's get into it. What a week. On Monday, Donald Trump became the first sitting president to attend an NBA Finals game. Can't wait, huge fan, said Trump before pronouncing both K's and K Nicks. Trump only decided to go after being assured multiple times by his staff that none of his children would be getting married at the event. Arriving in Manhattan, Trump remarked, you know, I used to have sex here, while pointing at his crotch. Make any sense? Here is Trump getting booed on the Jumbotron during the national Anthem. Quick, quick, cut to Chalamet, said the panicked camera operator before realizing that Tina Fey had already swallowed him whole like a snake. The president was also booed at watch parties across the Big Apple. It was as if all of New York City was booing a single man. I couldn't imagine anything worse other than being a single woman. All right, Trump. Trump also fell asleep at certain points of the game, though you already assumed that. Sir, sir, wake up. Epstein's alive. Sir, sir, wake up. We found your childhood sled and then threw it in the garbage instead of donating it like you asked. Sir, sir, wake up.

[B]

You took your weird penis out.

[A]

Trump's presence created a headache for the game's other 20,000 attendees, who were told to arrive at least two hours early to get through enhanced security. In response, New York City Mayor Zoran Mamdani, who bought tickets to to the game to attend himself, announced that an additional watch party would be held at Bryant park, though you can't have open containers in the park because Mamdani has instituted Sharia law. Trump, making the NBA Finals all about himself led to comments like this one by Stephen A. Smith. If it causes the New York Knicks

[C]

to win, to lose tonight, I'm blaming him.

[A]

I'm blaming the President of the United States. We'd like to think we had something to do with it, said the San Antonio Spurs. And then, while Trump watched and napped, the Knicks lost. We were overconfident after a series of victories and caught off guard by a surprisingly strong defense. That's about the war in Iran, but it also applies to the game, and in the end we were bodied by a petro state run by religious fundamentalists that's about the game, but also applies to the war in Iran. On his way home from the game, Trump did an interview on the tarmac to spin his appearance. What did you think of the reception

[B]

you got from the Knicks fans tonight?

[C]

I thought great. I mean, it was certainly amazing. It was, it was, I think, mostly tears. It was loud and it was very enthusiastic.

[A]

It was loud and very enthusiastic, said Trump about every one of his wives perfunctory fake orgasms Speaking of fake and perfunctory, Trump has been accusing Los Angeles, where we are currently recording, of widespread voter fraud now that reality star Spencer Pratt has fallen behind progressive City Councilmember Nithya Raman in the vote count. Now L A does have a motive to steal an election from Spencer Pratt because most of LA's voters don't want him to be mayor. If you think about it, wrote Trump on Truth Social, not possible for Spencer Pratt to have lost the LA runoffs after the big lead he had. Just try an insurrection in Los Angeles. Trump, where are you going to go? City Hall? The county administrative building on Temple? Individual supervisor offices? Los Angeles divides authority across multiple layers of government, creating a convoluted bureaucracy that style siamese progress and allows politicians to pass the buck, you idiot. Besides, you think the Pratt voters on the west side are gonna go all the way downtown on a weekday to launch an insurrection? I don't think so. Maybe you can get them as far as West Adams. That's only if you promise to do an insurrection in Culver City next time. Republicans have latched onto the slow pace of California's ballot counting as a reason to suspect fraud. Because famously, when you're committing a massive felony, you want to do it as slowly as possible, really drag it out over days. The striptease of election fraud I call when asked for evidence of voter fraud, Mike Johnson, speaker of the House, said this but what evidence is there to

[C]

prove that there was a rank Some

[A]

of these efforts are so diabolical and so far upstream it is impossible to prove. But I think everybody knows instinctively something is wrong here. It just instinctively feels wrong, mike Johnson said, pulling the hockey mask down over his wife's face while asking her to call him Hollander. California. You can say a lot about the Democrats of the state of California, but the word diabolical would not occur to any of us. Have you seen these people? Diabolical? Are you kidding me? According to recent polling, Mayor Karen Bass was up by 18 points in a one on one with Pratt, but down by 4 points in a one on one with Nithya. So the Democratic establishment, which is behind Karen Bass in a diabolical maneuver, rigged the election to make it harder for for her to win in November. Now that I say that, that does sound like California Democrats. So let me back up. California vote counting is a notoriously long process as every registered voter receives a mail in ballot and every ballot mailed by election Day and received within seven days is counted. Also, according to California state law, the ballots must first be sorted by the voter's astrological sign. It doesn't change the final outcome, but it does slow things down. Plus, if you interrupt California Secretary of State Shirley Weber while she's counting, she gets flustered and has to start over again. Of course, this is all ridiculous. The only LA fraud we really need to get to the bottom of is Gelsens. It's Pavilion's products at erewhon prices. What are we doing? Why are we shopping here? It's crazy what they're doing at the Gelsons get applause and he's carried out onto the street, the new mayor having heard Karen Bass say one fucking thing about what's going on at these Gelson's prices. Even Republican gubernatorial candidate Steve Hilton, who won a spot on the November ballot, went on CNN Monday to dismiss Trump's concerns. We take it very seriously because we

[B]

don't want to let people down and we're being very vigilant on it.

[A]

We're keeping an eye on it.

[B]

We've got teams standing by, lawyers standing by, and we've seen nothing that would give us cause that to intervene in that way.

[A]

Continued Hilton. Everything looks legit as I seem to be winning. How many people here found out he had a British accent from that video? That's shocking. Isn't that shocking? That's why Trump blew a fuse when Meet the Press host Kristen Welker asked him to back up his claims about LA's mayor race.

[C]

They're cheating on the election.

[D]

There's what? Do you have evidence to support that?

[C]

All I have to do is look. All I have to do is look.

[D]

That's not it.

[C]

And listen. And I listen to people and let's see what happens.

[D]

But sir, that's not evidence.

[C]

You think it's appropriate?

[D]

That's how they count the votes.

[C]

You think it's appropriate. Just like you're crooked, your press is crooked and Meet the Press is crooked.

[A]

To be fair, I'm not crooked.

[C]

But let's really. Well, you play right into their hands.

[D]

Let's continue.

[C]

You're either crooked or you're stupid.

[A]

It's a good line. I feel like we can stop asking Trump if he has evidence at this point. It's like asking Rihanna if she has any new music. What kind of question is that? What are you hoping to gain? Trump then stormed off.

[C]

Let's call it quits because I've had enough. Thank you darling. Have a good time.

[D]

Mr. President, let's please, I traveled all the way to Wisconsin.

[A]

Please, please, Mr. President. I came all the way to Wisconsin. It's so much dairy. I'm half black and half Jewish. I have one cheese curd. It's like Meet the Press. More like Meet the Toilet. And then finally, as he was leaving, Trump stepped on the microphone and crushed it. We traveled all the way to Wisconsin for this interview. Me next. Do it to me next, said Lindsey Graham, already flat on the floor panting like a dog. And we have a great show for you tonight. We'll be right back with Michael Urie. Kate, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Chime. Chime is changing the way people bank. They offer the most rewarding fee free banking built for you, not the 1%. They're not like traditional old banks that charge you overdraft and monthly fees. They have thousands of fee free ATMs because why pay to get your own money? Chime members can benefit from up to 11 $50 in annual rewards fee free. 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Checking accounts ranking based on a J.D. power survey published October 20, 2025. For more information on APY rates, MyPay Spot Me and travel perks, go to Chime.com disclosure Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Bombas the weather is warming, the days are longer, we're saying yes to more plans and finally getting outside. Running, hiking, moving again. It's the perfect time to upgrade your everyday go to footwear with Bombas. Bombas sports socks are super comfortable and designed with sports specific tech for running, cycling, yoga, hiking, you name it. I like. I do a lot of pilates and I do a lot of running and I use Bombas socks for both. I love my Bombas socks. They're the I got the vintage crew. I think they call them half calf now. I actually was on the website last night because I was thinking about getting some more and unrelated unrelated to this commerce unrelated to this advertisement. I'm just a Bombas guy. I'm just shopping at Bombas. Passion is Bombas. I love it. The best. The best. The cushion where you need it, your feet sweat wicking and you don't slide around so you're not constantly adjusting your socks. And with the weather warming and by the way that's a real thing. Like there's a design on the way the sock that's like different than other places there. It's not just the just words. Not just words, not just speeches. The weather warming. It's up to add. It's time to add Bombas sandals. Their Friday slides, which I also have are made with a lightweight and waterproof EVA that's soft but still supportive. Wear those every day too. They're super comfortable. You can slip them on and go. I've already talked about my experience with Bombas so you should get them. For every item you purchase, an essential clothing item is donated to someone facing housing insecurity. One purchase, one donated with over 150 million donations and counting and I honestly would get them even if they didn't help a single person. If I found out that every time you bought a pair of Bombas Bombas threw a pair of socks in the garbage, I would still get them. Head over to bombas.com love it. Use code love it for 20% off your first purchase. That's b o m b a s.com l o v e t t code lovett at checkout bombas.com lovett. And we're back. We'll have Michael Urie and Kel Krip in just a moment. But first, thank you to everyone who is a Friend of the Pod. If you're not, now is a great time to subscribe and subscribers get tons of bonus content, including ad free episodes of all your favorite pods, access to our excellent substack newsletters, including open tabs. You get Dan Pfeiffer's Polar Coaster, which dives into the latest polling and ad free breaking news updates, and your subscription supports independent media that you can trust. Plus, subscribers get special perks at Crooked events, including Crooked Con, ticket discounts and other exclusives at that event. So Please go to crooked.com friends to sign up now. You get a lot of great stuff and it's a great way to support independent pro democracy media. No Barry Weiss telling us what to do. And if you're in LA, you can still get [e-mail] events to check out our new studio and upcoming guests, including SNL alum Jay Farrow, comedian, actor and literal clown school graduate Zack Zucker and many more. We have a special Pride episode on June 16, that's my mom's Birthday. Featuring Atsuko Okotka, Mark and Delicato, Mickey Meeks, Bruce Valanche, Brendan Scannel and more. All right, please welcome to the stage. I know I need to see a therapist, but this is the next best thing. It's Shrinking Zone. Michael Urie. Hi. Good to see you. Hello.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

Hi. Hi. Good to see you.

[B]

So good to see you.

[A]

Shrinking is on its third season.

[B]

Yes, the third season is out. You can watch the first three seasons.

[A]

I can't believe I can't get high. As you want.

[B]

Is that all right?

[A]

Yeah, it's fine. It's fine.

[B]

I want to be up here with you.

[A]

Isn't it so interesting to be on a show about therapy, even though the fad of therapy is over? Like, it's sort of in the past now? I mean, like, I remember the show launch was like, oh, that's so perfect. We're all getting therapy. And now it's like, who's doing that?

[B]

Who's doing that anymore? Now we're just like, living in our own filth.

[A]

Yeah. Our mental.

[B]

Mental.

[A]

Yeah. Because we're so busy.

[B]

Well, yeah. When the show first came on, it was right after the pandemic, when everybody got into therapy or when the taboo of mental health was sort of lifted. Right. Like, I remember we started talking about our feelings during the pandemic.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Everyone was depressed. It was like. It was like. It was like the first time in humanity when the whole world was depressed.

[A]

Yeah. And isn't it funny? Isn't it funny how because we've made the wrong president. President. We never processed our collective trauma. Yes. Kind of in the same way how, like, after the Spanish flu, it was really about how World War I was so terrible, but really we'd also been through a terrible pandemic. But we never really wrote as many poems about that, did we, Michael Urie? Not as many poems about the influenza. A lot of poems about the trenches. Not a lot of poems about the true. Hey, it says here you have a googly eye.

[B]

That's right, I do.

[A]

I don't even know what the. Hey, what's that mean?

[B]

Okay, so, you know, some people have, like, a lazy eye. You might call it a lazy eye or, like, cross eye. I call mine a googly eye. Technically, it is the. It is a severed nerve in my eye. It's the fourth nerve. And I have cerebral palsy of the fourth nerve. That's tech. That's the technique. That's what a doctor told me it was. And it may have been caught. May have been. I may have been born with it. Or it may have been caused by a head trauma. I had a few head traumas when I was a kid. I did that thing where you spin around and get dizzy, and I hit my head on a coffee table. One time, I was running up the front sidewalk and I tripped and I hit my head on the step. So I had a couple of head traumas that might have been what severed the nerve. I didn't even know I had this until I was, like, 17 and somebody pointed out that my eye was crossed and I was like, yeah. Doesn't your eye go cross when you look a certain direction and you see double, too? Well, apparently, not everyone. That's not true for everyone. But when I look like, if I'm sitting here and I look at you, can you see how it goes? Yeah. You see it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It goes. And I can see double. So, like, I can see you down here and I see you up here. So I used to use it to cheat in school. No kidding. I could like, sit and cheat off of my next door neighbor's paper in school.

[A]

You're just like kind of one of the X Men that didn't make it in the comics. I hit puberty. Then I could look in both directions at once. They're like, get out of here. We're not. It's not that useful. We can't do anything with that. We can't stop Magneto with that. But how are we going to use that? How are we going to use this? Stuff Magneto. I mean, maybe they think about it

[B]

for an hour, and then I keep seeing double and running into things and, like, not that one, the other one.

[A]

Guys, Magneto's either to the left or

[B]

to the right, but I know how to control it. I mean, if I look at certain. Like, if I'm looking at you here, I'm not seeing double, and you can't tell that I have a googly eye. But if I look at you there. Whoa, there it is. Isn't that crazy? So, like, when I'm working in front of the camera, I know how to adjust. And I always thought, I've got this down. No one's gonna possibly know. And then I was, like, having just small talk with one of the focus pullers at shrinking, the people who, like, pull the focus for the camera. And we're just chatting, and I was like, yeah, you know, and I've got this. I've got this. I got this googly eye thing. And he was like, oh, yeah, I know. And I was like, oh, I guess. Guess he's looking close. But when I'm in a play, like, on stage, I don't adjust because the audience can't see for the most part, unless you're that guy with really good eyes, they can't really see. And so I don't really care what my costar thinks, because you cheat out. You know, like, on stage, you want to cheat out so that the audience gets your face. And so I give. And so I was recently doing O Mary on Broadway.

[A]

I saw you in Omar.

[B]

Yes, that's right. You came.

[A]

I did. It was great.

[B]

Oh, Mary, the amazing play by Cola Scola. I was doing it with Jinx Monsoon, the brilliant and talented Jinx Monsoon from Drag Race. She was playing Mary, and I was playing Mary's teacher. And Mary's teacher comes. I'm not going to spoil anything. But Mary's teacher comes and gives her some acting lessons. And so in this scene, when I'm giving her acting lessons, there's this really funny exchange where she's. She's not very good at it. And he's like, all right, you know. You know. Mean it when you say it.

[A]

Try to.

[B]

Try to mean it when you say it. And then she does it, and it's really bad. Okay, well, look at me when. Try looking at me when you say it. And then she looks, like, down at my crotch, and I'm like, look me in the eye. And she goes, which eye? And then I say both. And she does this really funny bit where she goes looking at both eyes. Very funny. Always kills. So we do the whole run. We do this show together for two months. And at the closing night party, Jinx, we're at the party, everyone's like, oh, I'm gonna miss you. I'm gonna miss you. And Jinx is like, I have to tell you something. Every night now that we're closed, I can tell you every night when we got to the scene that you're teaching me about acting and I had to say, which eye? I imagined you're googly eyes. She's like looking right at me.

[A]

She's like.

[B]

I felt like I didn't know which eye to look at, but the audience didn't know. And I never told you because I was so afraid that it would break us both up. But you know, that's the truth. When you meet somebody who has a funny eye, you don't know which one to look at. And here we were.

[A]

And you don't even know if they have a sense of humor about.

[B]

You don't know if they have a sense of humor. So every night she would go, which eye? And then feel a little bad.

[A]

Right. It wasn't added for your Google.

[B]

No, it was always in there. I just happened to have one and it fit in. And it is an extra joke for her and everyone sitting on that side of the audience.

[A]

So Apple TV plus plus what?

[B]

Why is everything plus Disney plus Paramount plus Apple tv.

[A]

Where'd the plus come from? I don't know.

[B]

Great question.

[A]

What's your favorite thing about the iPhone 17 Pro Max. Is it the camera or how everyone who has money and thinks of themselves as interesting got the orange one. Like, oh, wow, you're so avant garde. You're so counterculture. You got the orange one.

[B]

It's that.

[A]

Do you appreciate the unibody construction with the vapor chamber cooling that's on a phone. Yeah, that's part of the new iPhone 17 Max Pro Max Vapor.

[B]

Like, it cools it. Like, so the phone doesn't get hot.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Don't know.

[A]

Hey, I saw you in the show Elsbeth. You were on the first season of the show Elsbeth, and we were discussing this today. You also have a character on the Good Wife in the Good Fight.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And Elsbeth is part of the Good Wife Good Fight universe. But your character on Elsbeth is not the character you played on the Good Fight Good. Good Wife.

[B]

No.

[A]

Who was like a CIA person.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Stephen.

[B]

Dino Verna was that guy's name.

[A]

And so in that world, does that mean there's a Michael Urie who. Who will show up as a character? You know what I'm saying? How does it work? Because you can't. What does it work if someone. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

I do. I know exactly what you're saying. It's crystal clear. They broke that. They broke the cycle. They broke. They broke that rule. Elsbeth does not follow that same rule.

[A]

Because couldn't it be that you were in. You were the CIA person in character as the effete rich person on that episode of Elspeth season one.

[B]

I'm sorry, A feet.

[A]

I mean, you played a rich gay guy who knew a lot about art.

[B]

That's fair.

[A]

I mean, from a sort of textbook. A feat. Do you not think I. Yeah, I thought the character was a feat.

[B]

He's a feat. No, you're right. He's a feat. I don't know why I would be offended by that. You're right. That's my own internalized homophobia.

[A]

Let that go.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[A]

Let that go. Let it. Let it out.

[B]

That is let it free therapy. But, no, they broke that. So now people who played characters on the Good Wife and Good Fight can appear on Elspeth as different characters. However, I love this idea that the character I play on Elspeth, whose name I can't come up with right this second, was undercover in the CIA as Stephen De Neverna.

[A]

I like that. Hey. I got married a few weeks ago. And we forced all the attendees to sing One Day More. After the Friday night dinner, we handed out the lyrics and we assigned parts. Yeah. And.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Ginger Minj, the drag queen, led the. The whole wedding in singing this song. Now, Jason Segel and you have a Les Mis moment singing on the Season of Shrinking.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Let's take a look.

[B]

Believe on me you can. There is a duty that sworn to James, you know nothing too for say so. Why you know nothing of Jenny.

[A]

I was born inside. Hey, there's Harrison Ford. All right. I think we've seen plenty.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

What did Harrison Ford think about that?

[B]

No idea what we were about to do.

[A]

He didn't know.

[B]

He had no idea.

[A]

He.

[B]

Well, the script said Jimmy and Brian sing the confrontation from Les Mis. That's all it said. And I don't. I don't think he knows what that is. I don't think he understands what that means. He might know what Les Mis is like as a. You know, as a property, but I don't think he was at all aware and we just started singing and. And so his reactions are all completely authentic.

[A]

Do you think Harrison Ford and O Mary can exist in the same room at the same time? Like, if he. I would like him to see it. Do you think he would.

[B]

I think he would go, yeah, I think he would see, but he hasn't seen.

[A]

I don't. I can't. He doesn't seem like a New York guy.

[B]

He doesn't. Loved. I don't think he loves New York, although he has spent tons of time in New York. Speaking of pride, I once saw Harrison Ford at the New York Pride Parade. This is crazy. It was 2010, and I was off on a float during the parade, and

[A]

we were going, just eye candy. Or was it connected to something?

[B]

It was for a play. I was doing a play. I was dancing in my underwear and in a cage. No, it was for this play called the Temperamentals, which was about the Mattachine Society, which was the first political organization for gay people in 1950. Harry Hay, who started it later, later started the Radical Fairies. The Mattachine Society is still a thing.

[A]

But Frank Kameny, he protested outside the White House. Connected to the Mattache. Yeah.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes, exactly. And so we were in, like, a 1950s convertible in the parade. That's the cast of the. Very cool. And so we're going down, you know, Fifth Avenue during the parade and just waving, you know, like you do in a parade. Waving and looking at people and saying. And I see standing on a lamppost, you know, somebody standing on a lamppost to see over. I see this guy in a suit with sunglasses, and I'm like, doesn't that guy look like Harrison Ford? And I point at him, and everybody in my float looks. And then we go about our business and then. And nobody thinks anything of it. Like, there was a guy who looked like Harrison Ford at the Pride Parade. So then years later, I'm working with Nick Jonas of the Jonas Brothers, and he has a bodyguard with him for this job. And the bodyguard comes up and he's like, hey, you. Yeah, you. You made a lot of trouble for me during the Gay Pride Parade a few years back. I was looking after Harrison Ford. He wanted to watch. You pointed at him, and everyone started rushing him, and I had to get him out of there.

[A]

Wow, you almost got Harrison Ford killed.

[B]

I almost got Harrison killed.

[A]

And he gets killed. There's no. I mean, look, I think shrinking could potentially have happened without Harrison Ford, but I think he was a big part of getting that thing going.

[B]

I'm sure it would have been, it would have been a very different show for sure. He almost, you know, he almost got like what? What's the opposite of gay bashed? He almost got bashed by gays, I guess is what you would say.

[A]

It's the opposite of gay bash is gay bashed. It just, it's, you know, it's like flammable, inflammable in a sense. And now you're talking about and that he's dead. And then you're here being like. Actually Dustin Hoffman was fun to work with on this set. He actually didn't even know we were going to sing it. Hey, Michael. Inspired by your hit show on Apple plus tv shrinking, we're going to crack open the Egg of Truth. Great. It's next to me. All right. However, we're going to change it today because we're going to not just have the egg of Truth, which is this, we also are going to have the egg of therapeutic follow ups. Okay. And so we're going to answer a question and then we're going to answer a follow up about it.

[B]

Okay, great. This is funny. You know, my character on the show is not a therapist.

[A]

Yes, we talked about this last time and I decided I don't care. Great, great, great.

[B]

Just making sure.

[A]

What is the ideal time to have dinner?

[B]

5:30. I know, I know. Earlier I intermittent fast, so I like to get done.

[A]

Do you think that could be connected to your relationship with your mother?

[B]

Yeah, she was very strict about dinner.

[A]

If you only had 24 hours to live, would you come on this show again?

[B]

Absolutely. Oh, sure.

[A]

Where in your body are you feeling that? Bladder, bladder. Bladder, bladder. If you could have dinner with any person, living or dead, it would be living, right?

[B]

Is that the whole question?

[A]

Yeah. And who would your dinner guest be?

[B]

I think it would be John Lovett.

[A]

Dead.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

John Mead, dead. Hey, what's the worst advice you've ever received?

[B]

Do you love it or leave it again? You don't.

[A]

Hey, no, no, no, no. Wait.

[B]

What if you're. Well, the worst advice I ever received was don't come out of the closet. How about that?

[A]

And that was what you said. Harrison Ford told you.

[B]

That's what Harrison from the Lamp Post. He's like in 2010.

[A]

Too much. I can tell. Button it up.

[B]

Stay in.

[A]

You want a Hollywood

[B]

stay in.

[A]

Just shout it across fifth Avenue. Stay in. Stay in. Hey, whose voice do you hear when you say that? That's a therapy question.

[B]

You hear me?

[A]

We'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere.

[B]

There's more of Love it or Leave

[A]

It Coming up Love it or Leave it brought to you by Hims if you want to know what's really worth your time and energy when it comes to losing weight, skip the guesswork and get weight loss by HIMS. HIMS offers access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications that now include the Wegovy Pill at its lowest price ever and the WeGovy pen plus lifestyle tips to support you along the way. I've got a lifestyle tip. Use the pen or the pills. Just saying, you know, it's like oh boy. Oh you got some tips. Yeah, this magic drug. That's a tip. Through hims, everything happens online. You'll connect with a licensed provider, will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your medication is delivered right to your door, no insurance necessary. And it doesn't stop there. HIMSS makes hitting your goals seamless, providing access to 24. 7 messaging with your care team and an in app lifestyle and nutrition support like recipes, meal plans, fitness videos, sleep content and more. With a range of affordable GLP1 options, HIMSS makes it simple to find a weight loss approach that fits your world and your wallet. If eligible, you'll get a treatment plan personalized to you and unlimited dosage changes as needed. Ready to reach your goals? Visit hims.com love it to get a personalized, affordable plan that gets you that's H S.com love it hims.com love it based on advertised cash price for 30 day supply of medication only, membership required, a fee not included and built separately. Weight loss by HIMS is not available in all 50 states. We go is the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk as To get started and learn more, including important safety information, we goi clinical study information and restrictions, visit hims.com Love it or leave it is brought to you by Upwork. Scaling a business takes the right expertise at the right time. Upwork helps growing teams quickly. Bring in specialized freelancers so you can move faster and take your business to the next level. Upwork is a one stop platform to find, hire and pay expert freelancers across web and software development, data and analytics, marketing, business operations and more. It gives your business fast access to specialized talent across 125 plus categories so you can fill skill gaps, launch projects sooner and scale support up or down without committing to full time headcount. You can browse profiles, review past work, get help scoping the role so you can hire with confidence and get started quickly with business. Plus skip the endless searching, get matched with Upwork's top 1% of talent and find the right freelancer in under 6 hours. Upwork also cuts down operational hassle by handling things like contracts and payments in one place so you can spend more time running the business. Thousands of growing businesses already trust upwork to hire flexible, high quality freelance talent for everything from one off projects to ongoing support. It's free to sign up and posting a job is easy. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help you and your business grow. That's up w o r k.com upwork.com. And we're back. Please welcome to the stage, it's TikTok's own Kel Cripe. Hi. Hi. Good to see you.

[D]

So good to be back.

[A]

Good to see you. Oh, hey, hey, everybody. You know you have a show called what the ruck? Yes. And you put people put on heavy weights and walk around.

[D]

Well, heavy is debatable. It's about like 10, 12 pounds. You guys know rucking? It's like just wearing a weighted vest and going on a walk. It's great for keeping your workouts low impact, good for joint. Joint pain. You know this.

[B]

No, I didn't know.

[D]

Okay. Once you learn about what rucking is, you're going to see it everywhere.

[A]

Yeah, I did it. Jokes aside, jokes aside, jokes aside. This weekend, coincidentally, coincidentally, I bought two weighted vests at the target. One for me, one for my buddy Spencer. We threw on those weighted vests, we walked all around.

[D]

Isn't it the best?

[A]

It's great because you're on a walk and you're still tired at the end.

[D]

Yes. And then you take it off and you kind of feel like you fly for a second.

[A]

Yes, yes. You're like, boy, I've never been so high up off the ground. But for this vest being gone, know,

[D]

but so for my show, we just have a friend on and we give them a weighted vest and we go on a walk along the LA river and we play awesome games like ruck, Mary kill. Stuck between a ruck and a hard place, huh? And what do you look for in a ruck, buddy?

[A]

Wait, does only the guest have the vest? Do you have a vest?

[D]

We all have them.

[A]

Shitty. To not have everyone in a vest.

[D]

No, we actually, we even make sure the cameraman wears a vest and you can't see see him and he has to walk backwards to film the show.

[B]

Carry a camera.

[D]

Yeah, he's. It's amazing. Shout out, Trevor.

[A]

Hey, Trevor, shout out to you for being forced to wear a vest for no reason whatsoever.

[B]

Why is it called Ruck Alan Ruck sound?

[A]

Because of Alan Ruck. Alan Ruckus named after Alan Ruck. That's of course what it is.

[B]

Ferris Bueller's Day off.

[D]

Yeah. It's so funny though, because rucking is either like for like middle aged women, like recommended by their doctors to like keep for bone density, or it's like ex Marines doing the hardest workout you've ever seen, trying to make it harder.

[A]

I would say that in Los Angeles there is a strong overlap in the Venn diagram between middle aged women and ex Marines, which are. Because if you're in a gym class in Los Angeles and you look around and you only see guys, it's actually not going to be so hard. If you look around, if you look around and you see 12 of the pointiest fucking women you've ever seen in your life. And then, and then like one guy, you're like, this is going to be the hardest workout in the state of California. As a rule of thumb, I started

[D]

taking 80s dance with my girlfriend on Fridays. It's like a beginner hip hop 80s themed workout class. And it's my favorite. No Marines there.

[A]

Hey, you have a one person show in the Hollywood at the Hollywood Fringe.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

It's a, it's a directed by Mitra Johari, friend of the show.

[D]

Yes. Love Mitra so much. She's brilliant.

[A]

Did you have any revelations about yourself as you were writing it?

[D]

Yeah, I mean, it's a solo show about my life, so I do feel like revelations were a big part of the writing process. It's so wonderful. I'm doing it at the LGBT center five times this month. It's called the Magic Computer. And it's kind of like I've been having these thoughts around memory and especially as a trans person who looks so different in so many of my past photos, I was having a really hard time reconciling acknowledging my past when the person in my pictures reflected everything I spent so long getting away from. And what's a bummer is when you try to forget about the past, you lose along with it all of the lovely people and memories you have along with it. And so the idea is kind of this magic computer that contains all your past selves, photos of all your eras, and it can present it to you in a way that helps you synchronize into one.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

But I paper mached the computer and the fun way and the fun way to say it is that I used to be a hot girl and this computer has all my secrets, so. But it's a lot about memory. And I've found so much peace with accepting my past. And like, there's so many of these photos I never used to be able to look at, and now I'm able to look at them so peacefully and like, with love. And my hope when people leave the show is just that they kind of maybe want to go back and look at that photo album era of a time. They weren't really kind to themselves and kind of maybe look at it with. With nicer eyes.

[A]

That's so nice. Because, you know, my now husband, we're saying husband is trans, and we have a picture of Ari as a girl in our living room. And I think it did take. Took them time to get to the place where it was like, hey, that, that's just a fun picture of me that I like to point to people when they come in. And so when we have friends come over to the house the first time and we're sitting at Aria, just like, there's me at a girl. That's me as a girl. Yeah, that's me as a girl. You know, it's on the coffee table.

[D]

And I think a lot of the things, like a thesis in it too, is that there's no guidebook for how to react to pre transition photos.

[A]

Well, there are guidebooks, but they say, stop doing this. This is all wrong. Ew.

[C]

Ew.

[A]

Ew. Cancel. Cancel. Bad.

[D]

Bad. Yeah, but then it's interesting because I talk to so many trans friends about memory, and it's like, it makes you feel like you don't. You're not allowed to have access to your own past anymore. Like, even my closest friends, who are so loving, I'll show them a picture of me because, fun fact, I was prom queen. And, like, if I show this photo of me with, like, long hair, feminine, in a dress and heels, even my most loving friends, their reaction is they don't know what to do. And I kind of wanted to, like, lead the charge, like by example of, like, how we can react to these things normally. And I say in the show that, like, the only person that's ever reacted properly is a dentist named Phil. And one time we were out on like a bar crawl in Scottsdale, Arizona, and I was so nervous for him to see my license, I was like, clutching it to my chest because the photo is me and I'm like 16 years old and I showed it to a bouncer and I didn't grab it back in time and Philly for it. And he just goes, oh, my gosh, I look so different too. And he held his card out next to mine and we just kind of giggled together about how we both look different because everyone looks different as we grow up. And I think normalizing, we look different sometimes. Sometimes it's a gender swap, sometimes it's £15. Like, it's all the same. And I think the more we can learn to look back kinder and accept each other in, like, all our shapes and forms, the more, like, empathetic we can be together and, like, less stigmatized about looking different.

[A]

Yeah. It's also part, I do think sometimes there's a way in which, like, conversations around trans issues for some valid reasons, I think some kind of, I don't know, holdover reasons, it's really kept separate. Right? Like, and like. And even, like, oh, like, oh, these are photos. I don't know how to process these photos. And I think about photos of a relationship you are no longer in. What do you do with. Forget the photo. Like, what do you do with those memories? Right? Like, what do you do with a period of your life that you don't feel totally at ease with, inside of which you had great experiences that you don't want to not think about?

[D]

And you know what you do? You get tickets to the Magic Computer at the Los Angeles LGBT center this June.

[A]

And wait, there's a code right for the tickets?

[D]

Yes. I would love to give code. Love it. To anyone listening for some discounted tickets.

[A]

Hollywoodfringe.org so go check out the show.

[D]

Oh, my gosh, Wait. I had one funny bit. Obviously it's, like, weird to talk about your own show. So I just had two reviews I was hoping you could read really quick. So I have them right here. So you could read this one and then swipe.

[A]

If you know Kel from their videos online, you're familiar with their brand of wholesome, silly humor, but this show expands on those jokes in a wonderfully heartfelt, vulnerable way. Kel has an amazing knack for making everyone feel like a friend of theirs, and this production showcases that beautifully. The Magic Computer helps Kel process their journey of gender discovery. And in turn, Kelly Kel helps us, the audience, to feel joy, whimsy, empathy, and to laugh really, really, really hard. What I liked, I liked that the seats had cushions. It really helped.

[D]

So those were two reviews. I just thought if you're like on the fence, cushioned seats, I mean, Mitra and I worked really hard on Getting cushions on those seats.

[A]

You gotta get, gotta get. Me gotta. People gotta feel comfortable in every way, you know, physically, physically, psychologically, socially, mentally. You know that? Butt wise. Butt wise. We'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or leave it coming up. Love or leave it brought to you by AG1. Summer is for loosening up. Okay? Letting things slide a little. That's the point. That's part of the fun. But you can still cover your nutritional bases this season without putting a damper on summer fun. With AG1. Just one scoop plus 8 ounces of water every morning. AG1 is a daily health drink with a multivitamin precinct and probiotics, superfoods and antioxidants. One scoop 8 ounces of water. The next gen formula delivers 75 plus ingredients backed by four clinical trials. Clinically shown to support gut health, fill common nutrient gaps and and improve key nutrient levels within three months. Late nights, long weekends, spontaneous plans. Life happens. AG1 helps you keep one thing consistent. High quality nutritional support every single day. No matter when or where you start your morning. AG1's great. It fits right into your routine. You can have it every morning. You know, you got your vitamins, you got your probiotics, you got all the things you need. I took some today. Wow. Put a little ag one in my smoothie. Ag one in the smoothie. It's great. Great drink. Ag1.com love it. To get a free morning person hat and a free AG1 flavor sampler in your welcome kit with your first AG1 subscription. That's an $82 value. That's drinkag1.com loveit. And we're back. It's pride. And we all know what pride is about. Telling everyone who isn't us how to live. To help, Kel is going to propose some new rules and regulations. In a segment we call they Thems the Rules. Kel will tell Michael and me our new rule. We will decide if we disagree with the new rule or if we agree that hey, they them's the rules. And if we do all agree, it is binding. Kel take permanent Kel take it away.

[D]

Alrighty. Starting nice and easy. Nothing too intense here. Now there are only going to be four TV shows, so. And we are all going to watch all of them. And then everyone's going to talk to me about them at the speed in which I watch them too. There's just simply too much. We need to simplify. So we're going to get four. One sad, one scary One gay. Oh, actually, two gay. One of the gay shows is going to take place in space, and the other one is going to revolve around a sport that doesn't exist, like hockey.

[A]

I. I'm. I'm in on that. I'm good.

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

Four is plenty. Four is plenty. It's a great rule. Four at a time. Four at a time.

[D]

Yeah. And that way we're. No one's ever left out.

[A]

Yeah. I'm sick of people feeling left out of the shows.

[D]

And four is me and my girlfriend's magic number.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

Great. I love that. That's so beautiful.

[D]

Okay, so they. Them's the rules.

[A]

They. Them's the rules.

[D]

They. Them's the rules. You know, the first time we played this, I never played it right.

[A]

You can't play it wrong. Here's the thing. You can't play it wrong.

[D]

Yeah. New rule. I can't play the.

[A]

You can't play it wrong. They.

[D]

Them's the rules. Okay, let's move on. Protein isn't good for you anymore. Enough. Enough. Why would you want to feel full and satiated when there's stuff out there like bread and cookies?

[A]

I do think protein's gotten out of hand. I think people have gotten out of hand. Everything's protein. You're like, this cake is protein.

[D]

Protein is protein.

[A]

Actually, you don't need to make this with. You can make this. Actually, you don't need to use flour. You can just make this with meat.

[B]

I have yogurt that has protein in it. It's like protein yogurt. At home. I have tortillas that are protein.

[A]

What's going on in that tortilla?

[B]

What's going on?

[A]

What's going on in that tortilla?

[B]

This is a great rule.

[D]

Yay.

[A]

Nathan's rules.

[D]

Nathan's the rules. So you actually should judge a book by its cover. Cause it's not about how many books you've read. It's about how many you've purchased. Some people don't think audiobooks count as reading. But now even just thinking about reading a book counts as reading it.

[A]

I like that rule. I really like that rule. I'm in on that.

[D]

You know, a thing that helped me buy more books. Someone once said, stop viewing the books you buy as, like, a to do list and view them as a wine cellar, and you collect them, and then you go down into the cellar and pull out what feels right at the right time.

[A]

I love that.

[D]

Buy the books. Okay.

[A]

I totally support buying books.

[D]

My philosophy actually get Them from the library.

[A]

Here's the thing about getting them from the library. I support getting.

[D]

Watch yourself.

[A]

I think we should have very well funded libraries, but at the same time, it's like get a book from a lib. As opposed to if you can buy a book and therefore support the industry of books.

[D]

You know, it's complicated.

[B]

That is a really good point.

[A]

Why shouldn't I be supporting. If I can buy a book, shouldn't I buy a book?

[D]

We don't have time to get into it.

[A]

I will say I do believe in starting more books. And people should be unashamed about quitting on a book. You should always quit on books. If you're done, stop. There's always more books. And if you're gonna stick with a book, even though you're not having fun anymore, you may just not read as much. So just if you have to. I'm not saying you should stop reading.

[D]

Quote John Lovett.

[A]

That's exactly right. They them's the rules.

[D]

So this one's, you know, a little. Follow me. Okay. If a restaurant is objectively nice, when you ask to take food home, they actually can't bring the container to the table. You have to slop it up there yourself for the world to see.

[B]

Yeah, I hate that.

[D]

So like, so basically what I'm saying is that clean plate club is mandatory now and anywhere where the waiter is nice to you. Since giving public slop is socially unacceptable, the least you can do is slop down your plate till it's squeaky clean. That way the restaurant can save money on washing less dishes. Not only is this the kind thing to do, it's good for the environment.

[A]

I'm a no on this one. I'm out. I just think if you're gonna. I just don't like if you're at a night place and they bring out the container to the table and you're. You're kind of like. You're. You're pouring your old. Your, your carbonara into the. Into the thing and walking out with a whole restaurant's watching me. Look at this. Look at this. They're gonna go home and eat that later. Disgusting.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

It should happen in the kitchen, away from me.

[D]

I thought that one was like a four quadrant. We were all gonna agree on it.

[A]

No, it's no. It's. No.

[B]

I gotta be honest. I did not follow it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, I did not follow that.

[D]

Me neither.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Oh, and. Oh, but maybe you'll agree on this. No entree is allowed to cost more than $20. And if you make me pay extra for fries. Guillotine.

[A]

Wow. Wow. Honestly, whoever started Viva Laura losing by

[D]

not coming with sandwich. Get out of here.

[A]

Hey, do you think that if a place said we are gonna do something truly revolutionary, our burgers come with fries and salad, that you'd become like the Jeff Bezos of places?

[D]

Oh, my God. Honestly, just.

[A]

Hey, hey, what about this? You can choose. Fries, salad, or half fries. Half salad.

[D]

I love that because I always feel so embarrassed when it's like, obviously fries,

[A]

obviously fries, but you just want a little salad.

[D]

I don't want vegetables right now. You want to make me look you in the eyes? I like vegetables. I just sometimes just don't want them.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. They thems the rules. They.

[D]

Them's the rules. Okay, this one is a special. Everyone is presumed gay until proven straight. That's right. The closet is for straight people. Now time to switch it up. John, unless I see you making passionate heterosexual love and. Yeah, I'm watching. We will assume. Assume you are a homo.

[A]

I think it's a great rule. This is like the closet is like the thing Superman goes into in Superman 2 when he turns Zod into human. You know what I mean? You go into the closet, you press the wrong button, and then all of a sudden. All of a sudden, the guy that doesn't speak is getting shoved into the hole right after Superman throws the S. Remember when he throws the S, you're like, I didn't. I'm sorry. One of his powers is throwing the

[D]

S. Is throwing the S like throw saying a bad word?

[A]

No, he literally. He literally goes like this. He goes, shh, and it becomes a big cellophane S and it, like, tangles up one of the goons, and they're

[D]

like, oh, no, dad, we should have a movie night.

[A]

Okay, bay them the rules.

[D]

We have to have a movie night.

[A]

Movie night.

[D]

Okay. And speaking of this really quick plantar fasciitis is sexy now.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Wow, that's so cool.

[D]

I mean, what could be hotter than like, you need to stretch your calves.

[A]

Yeah. Do you have one of those little balls that I could roll my foot on?

[D]

I don't, but do have a boot I wear every night to bed. Keeps my calf engaged.

[A]

That's sexy now. Yeah, They've the rules, so they rules.

[D]

You're gonna love this one. All phones must use a unibody construction with vapor cooling chambers, period. Right, babem's the rules. Also, just want to say having fidget spinners as an adult is now an act of maturity. Taking anxiety Management into your own hands. Honey, that's not childish. That's called adulting. Thank you.

[A]

Yeah, I just want to say, them's the rules. Always keep going.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Great.

[A]

Yeah, for sure, for sure.

[D]

That's gonna get a million clicks.

[A]

Back in my day. Back in my day, we didn't have fidget spinners. We just fucked up a pen. Oh, yeah, we just fucked up a pen until it was busted. We just. Bits coming off. Just a pen would come apart in your hand.

[B]

Blew all over your hand.

[A]

Oh, the plastic thing. Rip that thing off, open it up, close it up it up. That's what a fidget spinner was back in my day. Back in my day.

[D]

When you rode dinosaurs to school.

[A]

Yeah. They named the rules. All right, let's leave it there. We'll be right back. And we're back. Now it's time to take a loving stroll through everything we said and didn't and decide whether we are filled with regret in a segment we call Second Thoughts.

[D]

Amazing.

[A]

Michael and Kel, if you have any second thoughts about something from the show, you're welcome to share as well. First up, I did a Sex and the City joke immediately followed by a Citizen Kane joke. Who is this show for? I compared San Antonio to Iran. I should have done more LA grocery store jokes. Those killed Michael. I regret saying that therapy is quote over because I personally stopped going. I then immediately yelled at Michael Urie about the Spanish flu.

[D]

I was there for that.

[A]

Hey, Kel, I replied to you telling me about an 80s dance class with my. My classic host response of wow, wow. Why did I try to inject doubt into going to the library? Yeah, I mean, I like that. I want the libraries to see. I like the library, but it's not like. It's like the library's not a business where they're like, oh, no, they didn't. People didn't borrow enough books.

[D]

No. It is, though.

[A]

What happens if we don't borrow enough books?

[D]

They get less funding.

[A]

Why?

[D]

How do they become. Libraries are third spaces for everyone to enjoy. We have to talk off pot about this.

[A]

I want the libraries. I want the libraries. I'm supportive of the library.

[B]

Somebody's like, clicking how many people go in, and if not, I don't know

[D]

the true inner mechanics, but I know we should all be supporting the public library.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And that's how you get an applause break.

[A]

I explained the plot of Superman 2, a film that came out in 1980. Who is this show for?

[D]

I was surprised when you said Superman 2 because I was like, aren't they on Superman? Like 50.

[A]

Do you have any regrets?

[D]

Any regrets? Just that I, I, I had probably 500 more they thems the rules we could have gotten to. Yeah, I had one. I was thinking for you, just a

[A]

personalized they, them's the rule. Let's hear it.

[D]

Not a they, them's the rule.

[A]

Just a rule for me.

[D]

No, a second thought for you.

[A]

Oh, great. What do you think it should be?

[D]

I was thinking that it's actually okay to just take the question, who would you want to have dinner with, dead or alive? At face value, that it's okay to kind of just let that one be a get to know you question.

[A]

But see, then I guess you don't really want to get to know me because this is how, if you asked me that question, I would have learned

[D]

a lot about you.

[A]

Right. You've certainly gotten to know me. Right. Is what's better. Like, I don't know Willie Nelson.

[D]

And you're like, I think the problem was you asked Michael.

[A]

And then I interrupted. Right. I actually never got to. Did he ever say anybody?

[B]

I did. And that would be my regret. I said when you asked me who I would want to have dinner with dead or alive, I said, john Lovett, dead.

[D]

Oh, he did.

[A]

That's what it was. I was scared.

[B]

But the truth is, I don't want to.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

And that's our show. Michael Urie, Kilquife. Thank you all for being here. There are 146 days until the midterm elections. We'll be back on Friday with Jay B. And Zack Zucker. Love it or Leave it is a Cricket Media production. Our show is produced by Kendra James, Phil McGrath, Kelsey Gante and me, John Lovett. Our production team includes Hallie Keper, Sarah Lazarus, David Toles, Claudia Shang, Jay Banks, Gavin Purcell and Matt De Groat. And our staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.