But His Mom's Emails feat. Louis Virtel

Summary

Lovett or Leave It Episode Summary: "But His Mom's Emails feat. Louis Vertel"

Release Date: December 7, 2024

In this episode of Lovett or Leave It, hosted by Louis Vertel, listeners are treated to a mix of sharp political commentary, behind-the-scenes entertainment insights, and lively interactions with special guests Bruce Valanch and Raven Simone. The episode delves into recent political maneuvers, controversial appointments within the Trump administration, and entertaining anecdotes from the world of the Oscars and pop culture.

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1. Political Commentary

Joe Manchin’s Pardon Suggestion

The episode opens with a heated discussion about West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin's recent suggestion regarding President Biden's pardon of Hunter Biden. Bruce Valanch expresses empathy towards Manchin's position, stating at [01:50]:

“As a father, I don't know of a father that wouldn't have done the same thing... wipe them out.”

Louis Vertel humorously counters Manchin's proposal:

“Well, I hope Joe Manchin lands a margarine endorsement because that sounds like a smart balance to me.” ([02:06])

Governor Gavin Newsom’s Disagreement

Louis highlights California Governor Gavin Newsom as the highest-ranking Democrat to publicly oppose Biden's pardon decision. Newsom's criticism underscores the internal divisions within the Democratic Party:

“With everything the president and his family have been through, I completely understand the instinct to protect Hunter. But I took the president at his word, so by definition I'm disappointed and can't support the decision.” ([03:00])

Trump Administration Appointments and Withdrawals

The conversation shifts to the Trump administration's tumultuous appointment process. Highlighting the withdrawal of Florida Sheriff Chad Chronister from the DEA leadership role, Louis remarks at [03:50]:

“It's so uncomfortable when someone named Chad does the right thing. Up is down. I love this.”

Furthermore, Bruce discusses the FBI Director pick Cash Patel's promotion of dubious supplements:

“FBI doesn't stand for female body inspector.” ([05:00])

Pete Hegseth’s Nomination Controversy

A significant portion of the episode centers on Pete Hegseth's nomination for Secretary of Defense. Controversial emails from Hegseth's mother criticizing his behavior surface, leading to scrutiny of his qualifications. Louis narrates the unfolding drama:

“Pete Hegseth’s mother had sent him an email... But you know how moms are always saying kooky mom stuff.” ([06:36])

Bruce adds insight into the allegations of Hegseth’s drinking problem and the subsequent backlash within the GOP:

“There is no ounce of truth to any of these anonymous allegations... but I love that for Chad.” ([06:48])

2. Entertainment and Pop Culture

Coca-Cola’s AI Holiday Commercials

Louis critiques Coca-Cola's use of artificial intelligence in creating holiday advertisements:

“Coca-Cola made no apologies for its ugly digital slop... the polar bear is dead.” ([13:37])

New Show: "Human vs. Hamster"

The hosts introduce Sarah Sherman's new Max show, "Human vs. Hamster", a satirical competition series where humans and hamsters compete for cash prizes. Louis mocks the absurdity:

“What's Christmas without a jaw-dropping new low in corporate greed?” ([13:43])

Sabrina Carpenter and Barry Keoghan’s Breakup Rumors

Louis and Bruce discuss the rumored breakup between Sabrina Carpenter and Barry Keoghan, including sensationalist claims of infidelity:

“Barry was caught in an intimate moment with Dame Maggie Smith... the audience is looking at a still of Barry in Saltburn fucking a corpse.” ([15:16])

Crypto Coin Crash by Hayley Welch

The hosts comment on Hayley Welch's failed crypto venture, Hoctua Meme Coin, which plummeted by 90% shortly after launch, sparking accusations of a pump-and-dump scheme:

“What has the world come to that you can't even trust a blowjob influencer to sell you unregistered securities?” ([14:00])

Miscellaneous Pop Culture News

Louis touches on various pop culture tidbits, including Oxford University Press naming "Brainrot" as the Word of the Year and Pantone's selection of "Mocha Mousse" as the Color of the Year 2025, humorously critiquing these choices:

“They define brain rot as... material now particularly online content considered to be trivial or unchallenging.” ([14:00])

3. Guest Segment: Bruce Valanch on Oscars

Experiences from the Oscars

Bruce Valanch shares behind-the-scenes stories from his extensive career covering the Oscars, including the infamous 1989 ceremony where Rob Lowe’s sex tape became a major scandal:

“Whenever they mentioned Rob Lowe, they would say, most recently seen on the Oscars, Dancing with Snow White.” ([24:31])

Bruce recounts the surreal performances and mishaps, such as the bizarre Rob Lowe and Snow White dance number and the theft of Oscar moments.

Writing for Campy TV Specials

Discussing his new book, Bruce delves into his time writing for notoriously campy television specials like the Paul Lynde Halloween Special and the Star Wars Holiday Special:

“Snow White goes to San Francisco and discovers a world outside of Disney... and they named an alien character Cuntface.” ([38:04])

His candid tales highlight the challenges and absurdities of creating engaging content for mainstream audiences.

New Book Announcement

Bruce announces his upcoming book, "It Seemed Like a Bad Idea at the Time", detailing his experiences writing for some of the worst TV shows in history:

“I wrote a book about how I wrote for the worst TV shows in history and lived.” ([37:11])

4. Guest Segment: Raven Simone on Hosting "Scrabble"

Introduction to Raven Simone

Raven Simone, host of the CW’s new game show "Scrabble", joins the conversation to discuss her transition from acting to game show hosting. Louis compliments her versatility:

“You have tons of material from your time in the trenches... but I have been told specifically that you may have some Madonna material.” ([38:04])

Playing Scrabble Trivia

Raven engages in a playful Scrabble trivia game with Louis, showcasing her quick wit and knowledge:

• Za (pizza): “Za is a real word.” ([48:37])
• Cyclopsy (medical term for a cyclops): “I'm going to say no, that is not a word.” ([49:30])

Her performance highlights her skills in quick thinking and her enjoyment of word games despite admitting a poor memory for spelling.

Personal Anecdotes and Hosting Insights

Raven shares personal stories about child stardom and the pressures of growing up in the entertainment industry:

“I had to grow up at the speed that I needed to grow up in.” ([47:52])

She also discusses the challenges and excitement of hosting a game show, drawing inspiration from legendary hosts like Dick Clark.

5. Humorous Interactions and Gift Recommendations

Gay Gift Guide Spin Wheel

In a lighthearted segment, the hosts spin a gay gift guide wheel, offering quirky gift suggestions:

• Raven Simone suggests a portable tea kettle:

  “I love hot water. It's better for hydration... I have my own teapot because I don't trust people in the way they clean all the time.” ([61:39])

• Bruce Valanch humorously recommends a bedside microwave:

  “A microwave that... is a very damned gay.” ([62:55])

Louis contributes with trivia card games as ideal party gifts, emphasizing their potential to spark engaging conversations:

“Trivia Pursuits sells stacks of cards that are just like 80s, 90s, 2000s, 2010s.” ([65:00])

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6. Conclusion and Closing Remarks

As the episode wraps up, Louis reflects on personal joyrides and family road trips, intertwining heartfelt moments with humor. The hosts express gratitude towards their guests and promote upcoming segments, ensuring listeners stay engaged for future episodes.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Bruce Valanch on Joe Manchin's Suggestion ([01:50]):

  “As a father, I don't know of a father that wouldn't have done the same thing... wipe them out.”

• Louis Vertel on Joe Manchin ([02:06]):

  “Well, I hope Joe Manchin lands a margarine endorsement because that sounds like a smart balance to me.”

• Governor Gavin Newsom’s Statement ([03:00]):

  “With everything the president and his family have been through, I completely understand the instinct to protect Hunter. But I took the president at his word, so by definition I'm disappointed and can't support the decision.”

• Bruce Valanch on FBI Director Pick Cash Patel ([05:00]):

  “FBI doesn't stand for female body inspector.”

• Louis Vertel on Pete Hegseth ([06:36]):

  “…moms are always saying kooky mom stuff like, I have no respect for any man that belittles, lies, cheats, sleeps around and uses women for his own power and ego. You are that man and have been for years.”

• Bruce Valanch on the Oscars 1989 ([24:31]):

  “Whenever they mentioned Rob Lowe, they would say, most recently seen on the Oscars, Dancing with Snow White.”

• Raven Simone on Scrabble Hosting ([53:34]):

  “I am in love with the person that has memorized all the two letter words and all the three letter words.”

• Raven Simone on Child Stardom ([47:52]):

  “I had to grow up at the speed that I needed to grow up in.”

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Conclusion

This episode of Lovett or Leave It masterfully blends incisive political analysis with entertaining stories from the entertainment industry. Through engaging discussions and humorous exchanges, Louis Vertel, along with guests Bruce Valanch and Raven Simone, provides listeners with a comprehensive overview of current political controversies and nostalgic reflections on pop culture, ensuring a captivating and informative experience.

Transcript

[John Lovett]

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[Louis Vertel]

Oh, my God. That curtain coming up. I'm 14 years old. I'm an arsenic and old lace and I'm terrified. Hello, welcome to Love it or leave it. I'm Louis Vertel. Thank you. Host of Crooked's pop culture podcast. Keep it. John Levitt could not be here tonight. He is sick at home ranting about nothing all by himself. If you were hoping to see a snarky gay guy who's around 40, too bad you're getting a snarky gay guy who's so young. It's unbelievable. Tonight on the show, Bruce Volanch and I have an Oscars off. This is the king of the Oscars. Raven Simone is here and she gets the last word and even some in the middle. Then we all spin the wheel and share the perfect gifts for our gayest friends. And you might be some of them. But first, let's get into it. What a week. Outgoing West Virginia senator Joe Manchin, who's having fun yet this week, weighed in on President Biden's pardon for his son Hunter, offering a unique suggestion.

[Bruce Valanch]

As a father, I don't know of a father that wouldn't have done the same thing. What I would have done differently. And my recommendation as a counselor would have been, why don't you go ahead and pardon Donald Trump for all his charges and make it, you know, it had been, it had gone down a lot. A lot more balanced, if you will. I'm just saying wipe them out.

[Louis Vertel]

Well, I hope Joe Manchin lands a margarine endorsement because that sounds like a smart balance to me. This is what's so special about Joe Manchin. His Senate career is wrapping up. He doesn't owe us any more bad ideas. But bad ideas are his passion. He can't resist one more bad idea for the road, one we can grow on. A lot of people are saying if they had a son in trouble like Joe Biden, they would have pardoned him, too. I want to add that if I ever have a son, something has gone terribly wrong. I will accidentally leave him in the locker room at Barry's Boot Camp San Francisco or something and they are not friendly there. On Tuesday, California governor Gavin Newsom became the highest ranking Democrat to publicly disagree with Biden's decision. Joe Biden is so completely beyond caring what Gavin Newsom thinks. Biden's on the golf course with Hunter calling Gavin Newsom a mean name that nobody has used since 1945, something John Wayne has probably said a few times, newsom told reporters. With everything the president and his family have been through, I completely understand the instinct to protect Hunter. But I took the president at his word, so by definition I'm disappointed and can't support the decision. He did say all of that with his mouth full of French Laundry's wagyu steak though, so it was hard to understand. Meanwhile, the new Trump administration continues to not quite take shape. On Tuesday, Florida Sheriff Chad Chronister, Trump's pick to lead the dea, withdrew his name from consideration. Three days after he was nominated, Chronister wrote on social media that he had changed his mind about accepting it as the gravity of this very important responsibility set in. It's so uncomfortable when someone named Chad does the right thing. Up is down. I love this. He looked within, realized he wasn't up for the job, and said so. Honestly, could never be me. I'd fake prostate cancer before I admitted not having what it takes. But I love that for Chad. That makes Chronister the second of Trump's appointments to back out after Matt Gaetz gave up on securing the votes to to become Attorney General. Damn. And we had dozens of Chad Chronister jokes locked and loaded. Just absolute grenades. You'll never hear them, each and every one. Well, better to purge them out of the joke vault to make room for new ones. You like sound effects? It's like an old radio drama in here. In other cool guys nominated to Top Post news, Trump's FBI director pick, Cash Patel, earlier this year promoted a line of supplements from a company called okay, Warrior Essentials that claims to help people, quote unquote, detox from the COVID vaccine. This feels like the kind of person who needs to be reminded repeatedly that FBI doesn't stand for female body inspector. I am not over the name Warrior Essentials, which sounds like an aromatherapy MLM scam. My aunt won't stop tweeting about Helen, please stop. But we saved the sweatiest for last. Pete Hegseth's nomination for Secretary of Defense appears to be in trouble. On Sunday, the New York Times reported that his mother had sent him an email in 2018 that read in part on behalf of all the women. And I know it's many you have abused in some way. I say get some help and take an honest look at yourself. But you know how moms are always saying kooky mom stuff like, I have no respect for any man that belittles, lies, cheats, sleeps around and uses women for his own power and ego. You are that man and have been for years. And as your mother, it pains and embarrasses me to say that. But it is the sad, sad truth. Moms. Also, I'm jealous. My mom will only send me, like, photos of my report cards from third grade with the caption, do you still want this? Also this week, 10 current and former Fox employees told NBC News that Hegset's drinking concerned his colleagues during his time as a co host of Fox and Friends Weekend. This suggests that everyone else on Fox and Friends weekend is sober, which, not my first guess, Judge Jeanine Pirro said. Total lies. There's not an ounce of truth to any of these anonymous allegations. I would never drink three Mai tais before going, oh, we're not talking about me. Never mind. Two of Hegstat's former colleagues said they had smelled alcohol on his breath before he went on air on more than a dozen occasions. And in hindsight, when you look back at his on air appearances, it's pretty obvious.

[Bruce Valanch]

Mother, Mother, this is your son, Roger Thornhill.

[Louis Vertel]

Yeah.

[Bruce Valanch]

Wait a minute. I'll find out. Where am I?

[Louis Vertel]

Name the movie. Who can do it. Anyone? North by Northwest. You got it. 1959 north by northwest. We got a fan in the house. Here we go, said one former Fox employee. Everyone would be talking about it behind the scenes before he went on the air. This reminds me of how hurt I was when I overheard my team in the green room talking about how I look like every pale bad guy in Sophie's Choice. I'm German. When I look angry, it means I'm happy. So, Pete, I'm with you during this emotionally trying time, and no worries. Hegseth told incoming Senate Armed Services Chairman Roger Wicker that he would stop drinking if confirmed as Defense secretary. I can't say how I know this, but the secret 13th step in AA is securing a Cabinet appointment. They reach out to you and tell you to do this. As of Tuesday, at least six GOP senators were reportedly uncomfortable supporting Hegseth's appointment. They weren't thrilled about him driving the party bus either. It didn't stop him in an effort to stem the damage, Hegseth's mom went on Fox and Friends on Wednesday to recant her email. When you wrote that, what's the backstory? What was going on that made you so angry?

[Bruce Valanch]

You wanted to write that? Well, I will tell that story in a moment, but let me make two statements first, and one is to President Trump. And I want to say thank you for your belief in my son. We all believe in him. We really believe that he is not that man he was seven years ago. I'm not that mother.

[Louis Vertel]

Imagine apologizing about your parenting skills to Donald Trump to look at Eric and think, what an icon and mensch. I will not let him down. After quickly glossing over the damning contents of her email, Penelope Hegseth and I keep wanting to call her Penelope Pitstop. Any wacky racist fans in the house, thank you. Attacked the media for reporting on it, describing the New York Times as, quote, almost criminal for doing so. I want to say something about the.

[Bruce Valanch]

Media, and part of today is to discredit the media and how they operate when they contact you. I let a few phone calls go, but then they call you and say they threaten you. That's the first thing they do. They say, unless you make a statement, we will publish it as is. And I think that's a despicable way to treat anyone. Threats are dangerous, and they're hard on families.

[Louis Vertel]

So what Penelope is saying here is that threatening a woman and making her feel unsafe is despicable. Got it. At least she's consistent. Love, Penelope. Also, describing an unpleasant thing that will soon happen is not a threat in this case. It's a professional invitation to make that thing less unpleasant. My doctor told me if I don't treat this excruciating infection, I'll die. Absolutely disgusting. These threats must stop. But while Penelope Hegseth, AKA Pitstop, was thanking Trump for his belief in her son, that belief appeared to be waning. Trump has reportedly been considering Florida Governor Ron DeSantis to replace Hegseth as his pick to head up the Pentagon. Okay, never mind. Let Pete Hegseth drink. We loved you on Fox and Friends, Weekend Edition, Havana nights or whatever it's called. Behind every terrible man appointed to Trump's cabinet, there is an equally terrible man just waiting for details of the first terrible man's drinking problem to surface. Oh, there's more. In a Wednesday interview on the Megyn Kelly Show. Love her and her vibrancy, Hegseth agreed that he was being. Are you ready, Kavanaugh? Do you think you're being Kavanaughed right now.

[John Lovett]

I had a member not 45 minutes.

[Bruce Valanch]

Ago look me in the eye in.

[Louis Vertel]

Private, just he and I and say.

[John Lovett]

That'S what they're trying to do to you. That's what they're trying to do to you. That's their playbook. Get ready for more and they're going.

[Bruce Valanch]

To make it up just like they have so far.

[Louis Vertel]

Penelope Hegseth, an antifa operative with the commitment and foresight to sabotage her own son with made up accusations six years before his nomination. That's the deepest the Deep State has ever gotten. Good for them. I feel for the guy being Kavanaugh. Let me explain. This is when people remind you of the bad stuff you did, but then there aren't any real consequences. Okay, why would that be our playbook? Brett Kavanaugh is on the Supreme Court. Why would Democrats keep running the same play when we know we'll lose? Okay, that does sound like us. I can hear it. I hear it now. I hear it now. Also this week, Senator Tommy Tuberville lobbied Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy to scrap Daylight Savings Time and replace it with a year long standard time. Instead, knowing Elon Musk's skill set, hopefully he will take over Daylight Savings Time, rename it something embarrassing, and make it eight times more racist than it was before. Fingers crossed, tweeted Tuberville. The outdated practice of changing our clocks twice a year is ridiculous and needs to end. Pardon me as I dry heave while imagining Elon and Vivek working together to solve problems. These strike me as the sort of intellectual masterminds who will resolve their arguments with a quick thumb war. The CEO of UnitedHealthcare. Are you ready for that? One of the largest healthcare companies in the US Was shot and killed outside the company's annual investor meeting in Manhattan this week. He lay in wait for the CEO Brian Thompson. Shot him multiple times before fleeing the scene on an E bike, which is both tragic and an amazing advertisement for that E bike. A getaway when you need to get away, let's invest early. Shell casings from the bullets had words written on them. Deny, defend and depose. Which may be a reference to the tactics insurance companies use to avoid paying patients claims or else. It's an amazing rap trio he wanted to get the word out about. It's one or the other. I can't figure out which. Under CNN's video of the shooting, one commenter wrote thoughts and deductibles to the family. Unfortunately, My condolences are out of network. Laughter truly is the best medicine. At least that's what United Healthcare told me when I got an ear infection. Speaking of people who were eventually going to jail, hawk to a girl. Hayley Welch launched her crypto coin this week. It crashed three hours later, losing 90% of its value and causing customers to accuse her of a pump and dump scheme. What has the world come to that you can't even trust a blowjob influencer to sell you unregistered securities? I don't know my country anymore. If you lost all your money on the Hoctua Meme coin, don't worry, you can get it back the way our forefathers intended. Online sports gambling. Good luck and Godspeed. Coca Cola used AI to create its holiday commercials this year, to the dismay of people who look forward to the company's cozy nostalgic ads.

[Bruce Valanch]

Holidays are coming.

[Raven Simone]

Holidays are coming.

[Louis Vertel]

Holiday something magical.

[Raven Simone]

It's a night. Can you see?

[Louis Vertel]

Okay, that's enough. What's Christmas without a jaw dropping new low in corporate greed? Mmm, cozy. Look, Coca Cola basically invented Santa Claus. It's up to them to decide how many tentacles he has. Coca Cola made no apologies for its ugly digital slop, saying in a statement, coca Cola will always remain dedicated to creating the highest level of work at the intersection of human creativity and technology. Plus, the polar bear is dead. We had to go back to the drawing board. The intersection of human creativity and technology is where most people get run over by Teslas. FYI, don't groan at me. I'm one of the nicest people you know. Speaking of the highest level of work at the intersection of human creativity and technology, SNL star Sarah Sherman has begun hosting a new show on Max called Human vs. Hamster. Here's the log line. In this innovative interspecies competition series, humans and hamsters square off in epic battles of skill, strength and agility for cash prizes. Sadly, the hamsters voted out Lovett on the very first episode. The show has one little caveat. The hamsters are allowed to use guns. Huh? Let's take a look.

[Raven Simone]

Timmy, you got this.

[Louis Vertel]

Get that hamster. Okay, okay, Timmy's ready. Can Timmy find his key faster than Nasher? $1,000 is on the line.

[Raven Simone]

On your marks, get set.

[Bruce Valanch]

And lock it up. Lock it up.

[Louis Vertel]

Hit the lever bowl. Weekend warrior is working even worse. Under the Trump administration, this is how the government is deciding who qualifies for Medicare. And before you ask, whoever loses does get killed. Moving on to my favorite couple, or should I say former couple Sabrina Carpenter and Barry Keoghan have reportedly broken up after a year long relationship, with one source telling people they are both young and career focused, so they've decided to take a break. But online rumors are swirling that Keoghan had been cheating on Carpenter with a 21 year old TikTok influencer named Brecky Hill. Even worse, paparazzi also caught Barry in an intimate moment with Dame Maggie Smith. Yes, the audience is looking at a still of Barry in Saltburn fucking a corpse. That is the comedy we bring to the live show. Please get your tickets now. That's right, Brecky Hill is a sexy influencer and not when you construct a ramp with the waffles on your plate so the maple syrup runs down and pulls perfectly by the sausage links I was confused too. Spotify Wrap dropped this week and listeners of Chapel Roan, Sabrina Carpenter and Charlie XCX discovered they were all Pink Pilates princesses according to their mixed descriptions. It's time we normalize the f slur. Um, Pink Pilates princess sounds like something a mean gym teacher would call me in middle school and I would cry. Not to be outdone, pornhub has released their annual wrapped and the Average American has 8.5 tabs open at once. Pantone announced that their color of the year for 2025 is a soft brown named Mocha Mousse. Related Oxford University Press announced its official word of 2024 is Brainrot. The word of the year is brain rot. The color of the year is Dog shit. Cannot wait for 2025. They define brain rot as the supposed deterioration of a person's mental or intellectual state, especially viewed as the result of overconsumption of material now particularly online content considered to be trivial or unchallenging. Or, as I'd put it, the Rizzler was very mindful, very demure when mogged Skibidi toilet all over Ohio. Gen Z. Did I get that right? Haha. I'm just kidding. I'm one of you. I'm just kidding. This is Love it or leave it. Please get your first mammogram. On Monday, Planned Parenthood posted a wicked theme PSA that asked is your discharge green? First of all, what I'm holding space for down there is none of your fucking business. I'm trying to imagine the wizard answering questions about STDs. Pay no attention to the burning urine behind the Dockers. And finally, Dolly Parton announced an open casting call to play her in the upcoming Broadway show Dolly an original musical. And now we Know where John Lovett is. Up next, my nemesis and hero, in that order, it's Bruce Valanch. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up.

[John Lovett]

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[Louis Vertel]

Not making it up like you usually.

[John Lovett]

Do, but like this is. I bought a pair of. I'll be very specific. They have a kind of retro style half calf sock. And I bought like that. That's it, Jon.

[Louis Vertel]

Oh, that's happening.

[John Lovett]

That's it. And I bought four pairs of them a pack. And I thought, you know what? That's it. All the other socks, they're out the window. I have now bought another six pairs of them. So I have 10 pairs of this exact kind of sock. So there's no decision fatigue, you know, So I reach in the drawer, pull out one pair of sock.

[Louis Vertel]

This is the best thing to do is like get rid of all your other brands of underwear and socks and just make it easy. You open the drawer, you pick it out. You don't think.

[John Lovett]

I don't want to think about it. So all of my underwear are Tommy John. All of my socks are Bombas. It's a great way to live. They are so comfortable. Buy Bomba socks. They're the best. So ready to feel good and do good. I can do on all this. I can. Dear advertiser, don't be mad at me that I'm not reading all of these facts and figures because I'm giving you an endorsement from the heart, which is go buy Bomba socks indoors. They also have slippers designed with marshmallow, like memory foam. I'm going to get some of those. Once you put them on, you'll never want to wear real shoes again. So ready to feel good and do good? Head over to bombas.com love it and use the code love it for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M B A S.com love it code love it at checkout. The credit card companies are ripping you off and you don't even know it. Every time you use your credit card, they charge a hidden swipe fee. It cost the average family more than eleven hundred dollars per year. Really? $1,100. That's because the credit card companies organize banks into pricing cartels. It's like OPEC for credit cards with no competition. We have the highest credit card swipe fees in the world. That is just wrong. Thankfully, the House and Senate have a bipartisan bill to fix this problem. The Credit Card Competition Act. It would finally make credit card companies compete like every business across the country is supposed to do. So call your senators and representatives and tell them to pass the Credit Card Competition Act.

[Louis Vertel]

And we're back. Please welcome to the stage the man behind all the best moments in Oscars history and a lot of the worst ones, which he will cop to, the one and only, the legendary Bruce Valanch. Where is he?

[Bruce Valanch]

I'm a larger person. I'd like to clear something up right now for you football fans out there. I am not Travis Kelce's mother. I know the resemblance is alarming.

[Louis Vertel]

I'm gonna put down my first three cards. God damn it.

[Bruce Valanch]

The wizard peed on my shoes.

[Louis Vertel]

Oh, that's too bad.

[Bruce Valanch]

I know.

[Louis Vertel]

You really are the top T shirt wearer in history. He's wearing Christmas festive Christmas gear and which is a red shirt and green Crocs.

[Bruce Valanch]

It's a regular Christmas Treat on is this. We hearing this? Yeah. Oh, good. Because I'm not getting any reverb, which is what's usual. I love reverb, so especially late at night, it's very good. It's a plain old Christmas tree talking to a decorated Christmas tree and calling her a whore.

[Louis Vertel]

When did you begin on your T shirt journey, which is long in story, but I'm going to point.

[Bruce Valanch]

When I grew these tits.

[Louis Vertel]

Oh, I see.

[Bruce Valanch]

They were man boobs for years, but face it, now they're tits. I cannot hide them.

[Louis Vertel]

You've earned them.

[Bruce Valanch]

When I moved to la, actually, when I moved to la, which is before anybody here was born, literally, it was like I was in the La Brea Tar Pits. I emerged and there was a subway stop already, which was strange. When I moved to LA and I discovered you can go anywhere in LA in a T shirt, I said, hallelujah. I found. Because I was a fat kid. And when you're a fat kid and your mother has ocd, she dresses you up and you never are correct. You know, everything is just a little bit wrong. A little bit. And nothing ever fits you. For years I was a husky, which is neither man nor boy, and nothing fits, and if it does, it's in seersucker. It's horrifying. So I discovered my comfort zone was wearing these.

[Louis Vertel]

Now you have a new podcast, and I can't believe this is a new podcast because you should have been hosting this fucking thing for 100 years.

[Bruce Valanch]

Well, I didn't have the idea.

[Louis Vertel]

It is called the Oscars. What were they thinking? And you started writing on the Oscars in 1989, which, if people here don't know, is a legendary Oscars. It's when I believe Driving Miss Daisy won Best Picture.

[Bruce Valanch]

No, that was next year.

[Louis Vertel]

Oh, no, sorry. Rain man won best picture. Oh, 89 ceremony. Yes, that's right.

[Bruce Valanch]

Always a year later.

[Louis Vertel]

Correct. And at that ceremony, in the opening number, Rob Lowe was paired with Snow White for this weird number that I can only call surreal because it was so baffling. And they kept showing people in the audience who looked horrified.

[Bruce Valanch]

Well, she came down the aisle greeting people. Snow White, this is why you're at the Oscars. You may have a career defining moment. And here's a girl dressed up as Snow White looking at you and going, oh, hello, Uma Thurman.

[Louis Vertel]

And she would have been there would have been the dangerous liaison.

[Bruce Valanch]

It was crazy. So it was borrowed. The number was borrowed from a show in San Francisco that you may have seen called Beach Blanket Babylon. Oh, yes, there you go. Snow White in that show, Snow White goes to San Francisco and discovers a world outside of Disney. And so Alan Carr, who was producing it, brought the whole number down and redid it for the Academy Awards. And of course, because it was the Oscars, she couldn't do that number by herself. She had to have some young Hollywood stud doing it with her. And Rob Lowe actually said yes, no.

[Louis Vertel]

So it's like a subversive, interesting number, but we actually got it to the Oscar stage where people would just be baffled by it.

[Bruce Valanch]

One of the reasons this legend, I mean, it was like all the terrible. The year before, they'd had Terry Agar on an airplane wing flying down to Rio with the Rockettes, as they should have.

[Louis Vertel]

I don't mean to disagree with that at all.

[Bruce Valanch]

Yeah, I love Terry. She was great. She was a good friend. But we joked about the fact that Rio never sued the Academy sued after that number for a number of reasons that are in my book. But what was astonishing about it was people remember it because two weeks after the Oscar ceremony, the Rob Lowe sex tape was revealed. Now, if you are too young to recall this, Rob had gone to the convention, the Democratic convention in Atlanta, the Dukakis, you should pardon the expression, convention unintentional in 88. And he and his friend, a guy, had a three way with a girl who turned out to be 17. And they taped it. And it was this bootleg tape that got leaked. And this was before the Internet. And so people would have parties to look at the tape, which was eerie because I don't know if you ever watched porno with a group because back in the day, that was really the only way you could do it. You either go to a theater where there would be an audience or somebody would have a bootleg tape. And so they're watching. And of course, the tape, it's not like it's a real, you know, movie movie or a TV show. It's shot from the foot of the bed. So it's like the dog's point of view, it stops being interesting. I mean, you know, you can look at his ass for just so long. And in any event, it became a gigantic story. And of course, whenever they mentioned Rob Lowe, they would say, most recently seen on the Oscars, Dancing with Snow White, which prompted a lawsuit from Walt Disney's company. So it became legendary as a result of that. I mean, it's gotten much more attention than it should have gotten. And. And Rob, much to his credit, has owned all of this he says he was the poster child for bad behavior, and he was in a book, and he did snl and he did a million things to tell people that he knows that he screwed up. And now he's the grandfather and he still is haunted by this thing.

[Louis Vertel]

And he's host of the Floor, a game show that I actually watched nine episodes of over this break, and I apologize for that. It is an okay shot.

[Bruce Valanch]

But you watch them from the floor.

[Louis Vertel]

That's right. Yes. Much like that dog. Exactly right.

[Bruce Valanch]

Because you had some of these and you just kind of.

[Louis Vertel]

Now the podcast is called the Oscars. What were they thinking? Now, in hosting this, do you hope to unearth the stories from your time mainly on the Oscars?

[Bruce Valanch]

Well, partially. I mean, I co hosted with a guy named Adam Davis, who is a real academician. He understands. I mean, he's a film scholar. And so he has a brief with the Oscars that the pictures that have lasted over the years were the ones that the Oscars pretty much ignored in their day. And since I know. And had made a study of how people vote, because for 25 years of writing the show formally, you could basically see how things were unfolding. So what we do is we talk about a particular year on each show and we say, why this one won, why that one didn't win, and all of that, all this kind of minutiae that. That, you know, people. Now that people have Google, you know, I mean, there are no more bar fights. You know, people don't throw down because they don't know if Maris or Mantle hold the baseball record. They'll go, oh, you bitch. Wait, let's Google it. Oh, it's Maris. Okay, thank you. We'll have a beer. So there's a culture now of all of this kind of fabulous interest in trivia. And the Oscar trivia is great because it involves names that you know in movies that you've seen and heard about or maybe movies that you have not. No idea existed that you know. There was a movie called How Green Was My valley.

[Louis Vertel]

Oh, yes. 1941. Best picture.

[Bruce Valanch]

That beat Citizen Kane for Best Picture.

[Louis Vertel]

Correct? Yes.

[Bruce Valanch]

Citizen Kane was a scandal at the time and much regarded by people who make movies, which is always. You should remember when you are talking about the Oscar show, that the Academy is made up of people who actually make movies, as opposed to the People's Choice Awards or people in malls or the Golden Globes who were all valet parkers and wine stewards studying for their real estate license, pretending that they work for a newspaper in Cambodia.

[Louis Vertel]

Oh, those.

[Bruce Valanch]

The critics choice. These are people who actually make movies. And so when they vote for something, it's significant.

[Louis Vertel]

So I guess this leads to my next question. You've worked on the Oscars so many times. Who's the biggest bitch in Hollywood?

[Bruce Valanch]

How do you mean that?

[Louis Vertel]

I'm gonna let you define it.

[Bruce Valanch]

Oh, my God. It's difficult to say. I mean, I wouldn't. I don't know who I would. Camp Roseanne. You know, I joke about it. Cause I worked with her, and I'm very fond of her, and she went trumpy and that kind of, you know. But when I was working with her, she actually said that. She said she had 43 different personalities working. And so I asked her if she would please talk to number 16 and ask him to stop speaking to number 28 because we weren't getting any work done. So I'm very fond of her, but I will have to say that she has, you know, I mean, she's legendary. Right, Ed? But, you know, I think that the lesson of Wicked, part one is that who's really wicked? Is this witch really wicked? What is wicked really? Who is a bitch really? And why are they a bitch? Where did that come from? They weren't born bitch. And so I think that, if anything, that movie is having a kind of salubrious effect on things like who's the biggest bitch in town?

[Louis Vertel]

Right. No, it's just on the card. You think I wrote these? Come on. Yes.

[Bruce Valanch]

Oh, I love. I didn't write this shit. This is the thing every writer goes to, who you deal with all the time with somebody when something bombs. I didn't write this shit.

[Louis Vertel]

Now, you started in 1989. Your last Oscars telecast was the one hosted by James Franco and Anne Hathaway, which I remember very.

[Bruce Valanch]

Either of them. They did it.

[Louis Vertel]

Okay, what was your. I mean, like, I'm always interested when actors actually agreed to host the Oscars because why? I mean, like, Anne Hathaway, beloved. James Franco, beloved. Why do this thing that involves literal standup comedy?

[Bruce Valanch]

Franco. I mean, I don't know exactly why Anne said yes. I think that she thought it would be an interesting thing to add to her resume because she's a precision instrument and she can do it all. And I know that James did it because he knew he was going to be nominated for 127 hours. Was that.

[Louis Vertel]

Yes, correct.

[Bruce Valanch]

Where he gnaws off his arm or whatever, and he said, I'm going to be. I am nominated. In fact, he was nominated, and he's he said, I'm going to sit there. I can sit there for three hours and lose to Colin Firth, who in fact won for playing the stuttering king of England, and. Or I can host a show and have a good time. And, of course, he did host a show. I don't think he had a good time, but I think he thought, this is something to do instead of if by some wild chance I win, I'll be in the wings and I can come out and, you know, and say thank you. But he knew that wasn't going to happen. So I thought it was the kind of thing that probably came to him, you know, in a. In some sort of a dream. Here's it. I don't have to sit through this thing. I'll host it.

[Louis Vertel]

I assume you have tons of material from your time in the trenches there, but I have been told specifically that you may have some Madonna material.

[Bruce Valanch]

Well, Madonna was on the show once, twice, actually, because two songs that she did in the movies were nominated, and.

[Louis Vertel]

Actually they both won you Must Love Me from Evita and sooner or later.

[Bruce Valanch]

From Dick Tracy and Angel Lloyd Webber. It was the English Patient year. The English Patient won nine Oscars. And we were all amazed because I viewed it as the trial of the century. And when he won for writing the song for Madonna, for Evita, he came up and said, well, thank God there was no song in the English Patient. So. But the first time he won, it wasn't Sondheim, who wasn't there. Sondheim had broken his leg and couldn't fly, so he was not there. And Madonna did sooner or later. But she was very nervous. Her date was Michael Jackson, which I think would make anybody nervous. I worked with him, and it just made me nervous, you know. How are you?

[Louis Vertel]

I'm fine. How are you?

[John Lovett]

Okay.

[Bruce Valanch]

So you can see on the tape, she's, like, kind of quivering. And part of the reason she was quivering was as she went on, she said to me, look at the front row. And in the front row was Kevin Costner. This was the Dances with Wolves year, and he was winning everything. And Kevin Costner was in the Madonna Truth or Dare documentary, right? And said something to her, like, I thought your show was nice. And she said, nice, neat.

[Louis Vertel]

Yes. See, I thought your show was neat. Neat.

[Bruce Valanch]

Oh, neat. She's not neat. I don't do neat, you know? And she had heard he was pissed off that she had included that clip in the documentary. So now she's got to go out and do this hot sex number in her Monroe ensemble in front of him. He's right in her aisle, right under her, as it were. And so she was actually scared. She was very scared. And she got through the number and all that. And she had. There were bodyguards, and there were two gigantic guys, like slabs of humanity. We're next to her, and we're standing in the wings. I'm standing between the two slabs of humanity, and she comes off and she sees me, and she throws herself at me. And she's still quivering, and the two slabs are going like, what do we do about this? What do we do about. And she's quivering and she's quivering and she's quivering. And finally she stops and she looks up and she says, thank God that's over. I think she meant the song. I couldn't be sure.

[Louis Vertel]

Right.

[Bruce Valanch]

But she was out of there immediately. Shoom. She was back to the loving arms of Michael Jackson.

[Louis Vertel]

Now, you also have a new book coming out called you, It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time. Bad Idea at the Time. And the reason it's called It Seemed Like a Bad Idea at the Time is because not only have you written for the Oscars, you've written for some of the legendarily campiest specials in television history. I will allow you to name some of them, but I will start by saying that when my friends heard that I was interviewing you simultaneously, multiple of them messaged me about the Star Wars.

[Bruce Valanch]

Christmas Special, the Star Wars Holiday Special.

[Louis Vertel]

Sorry, I don't mean to be secular.

[Bruce Valanch]

About it, because George invented a holiday Life Day. And so it was not a Christmas show. But we couldn't say Life Day because people thought it was going to be a telethon for, you know, for some insurance company or some hitherto unknown disease.

[Louis Vertel]

And you wrote for the Osmonds and.

[Bruce Valanch]

The Brady Bunch Variety Hour.

[Louis Vertel]

The Brady Bunch Variety Hour. Television used to be good. Okay. Yeah.

[Bruce Valanch]

The Paul Lynde Halloween Special. These are shows that have achieved a life on YouTube. And every year, whenever they're on, I get inundated with emails from people. And when I'm on podcasts hosted by younger people, they say, how did these happen? Who said yes to this? And have they paid their debt to society? So I thought, there's a book in this. So I wrote a book about how I wrote for the worst TV shows in history and lived. And it's called It Seemed Like a Bad Idea at the Time on pre order at Amazon, dropping March 4 right after the Oscars. So hustle on down to your computer.

[Louis Vertel]

Going back to the Star Wars Holiday Special. I don't know why you passed that up.

[Bruce Valanch]

Oh, ask me anything.

[Louis Vertel]

Well, first, can we throw to a clip of it starring the fabulous. Does anybody know the name I'm about to say?

[Bruce Valanch]

Bea Arthur.

[Louis Vertel]

Bea Arthur.

[Bruce Valanch]

Yeah.

[Louis Vertel]

Just one more chance, friend.

[Raven Simone]

Just one more chance, friend.

[Bruce Valanch]

Yes.

[Louis Vertel]

Was this your idea, bitch?

[Bruce Valanch]

Well, it was CBS's idea to have Bea on the show because she was Maude at the time, of course, Pre Golden Girls. And they wanted to pepper the show with CBS names. And she was interested in doing it because before she came to television, she was a Broadway musical comedy star. She was in the original Mame with Angela Lansbury, one of Tony. And she was in the original Fiddler on the Roof, the original Yenta, the Matchmaker. So she wanted to sing and nobody would let her sing, you know, because, as I used to tell her, it's because you sing in Harvey Fierstein's key. It's you and Harvey, the only ones. It's the key to the basement.

[Louis Vertel]

It's very low down here, below the wine.

[Bruce Valanch]

It's painful. You have to cross your legs when she sings. You begin to feel the vibration coming up. So I knew we have to find something for her to sing. And she wanted to sing. We had her. It's a complicated story, but Han Solo and Chewbacca are on their way home to the Kashyyyk, the Wookiee planet, for Life Day. And they're being chased by.

[Louis Vertel]

Yes, go ahead.

[Bruce Valanch]

They're being chased by Imperial Stormtroopers who all look like Late Edition Ford Fusions. They're white, very odd. And so they make a detour to a Tatooine, to the cantina. Bum bum, bum, bum, bum, bum and all the aliens are there and Bea runs the cantina. This was in her Statue of Liberty period. She' and so we thought, well, this is great. And she can have a song because she's running the bar. And she brought in a song by Kurt Weil and Berchwald Brecht called the Alabama Song. Frank Zappa fans will know it. Oh, show me the way to the next I tell you I will die I tell you I real up holiday kind of song. And she wanted to do that. And the Bertolt Brecht estate said, no. Nein, never. So Ken and Missy Welch, who were writing on the show, wrote her a song like that, which is somewhere between that and those were the days, my friend. We thought they'd never. Anyway, fairly jolly. And she's dancing with aliens. So now we're shooting the show and the aliens we have on the show are not top drawer aliens because George is about to start shooting the Empire Strikes Back and he has a whole bunch of new aliens, but he's not going to let us use them. And so we have to go find old aliens. And so we had to go to like the alien outlet mall in Cabazon and find these aliens. And they're all ill repair. Scotch tape, Elmer's glue all and that kind of. They've been warned they stink. And it's also, we're shooting at Warner Brothers and it's like August, September, and it's very hot. And it's like those characters at Disney. You know, you put on a head and you dance around and then you can't breathe. And so they all face plant, you know, sooner or later. So we lined up these aliens and it was so hot on the set that they were one after another. They were going down. And there was one particular alien who we lovingly called Cunt Face because it was. The head was a vagina on a nondescript body, I think wearing kind of a uniform. But, you know, George has a thing about VJs. It's a leitmotif. You know, in the Empire, I think there's a big red angry one in the desert that swallows up Jabba the Hutt.

[Louis Vertel]

I'll have to carry his hanging on.

[Bruce Valanch]

You know, with handcuffs and all that. You must check it out. But there is some kind of vaginal thing happening in almost all of those movies. It's always artistic, but, you know, it is what it is. And so we called him Cuntface. And the network sensor didn't seem to mind. She said, he looks familiar. I thought, oh, she's been standing over a mirror again. No, no, no. So every time somebody passed out, I would move Cuntface closer to B. Because here's a trick. If you're an extra on a thing, try and get in the same frame as the star, then you won't get cut out. So I said, move. And so finally we were shooting the thing and it was B and cun face, almost a 2 sh. And she finishes the number and she's going, I tell you I will. I tell I will die. Wham. And she whacks Cunt Face. And Cunt Face just goes over backwards. Boom. And Bea just kind of looks down at him and kind of looks back and says, well, I've never hit a man in the cunt before. Pause, cut. We'll go again, bring in a new alien. And there's a tape of it somewhere. Every so often, somebody puts it online, but, you know, they wait for just the right. Because, you know, there are bots now that are searching it out.

[Louis Vertel]

Right.

[Bruce Valanch]

And every time it shows up, somebody you know, somebody. I don't know who. Somebody at Lucasfilm. I think their entire job may be finding that clip. They'll be replaced by AI there's no question about it.

[Louis Vertel]

I cannot stop picturing cuntface going down. Wow, that's very vivid.

[Bruce Valanch]

I know. Or going down on cunt face, which.

[Louis Vertel]

Would be a whole other.

[Bruce Valanch]

A whole other thing. For the. Probably not. In the Star wars attraction at Star Wars Canyon. You should pardon the expression.

[Louis Vertel]

We're not that progressive. We will get there, I'm sure. Well, thank you, Bruce. Listen to the Oscars. What were they thinking? Wherever you get your podcasts. Next up, Raven Simone would like to have a word. Oh, and we're back. Now, you've seen my next guest in literally every television show that's been made in the past 30 years, and I'm barely exaggerating. Please welcome to the stage Raven Simone.

[Raven Simone]

Hi. Oh, comfy.

[Louis Vertel]

Do you feel uncomfortable that you're the second guest to wear crocs today? Did you think that was going to be your thing?

[Raven Simone]

Listen, anybody who can show up in these crocs, kudos. I'm down for it. I'm not mad, but his was green, so that's true. It's okay.

[Louis Vertel]

And black crocs, they go together.

[Raven Simone]

To me, black crocs go together. I don't have a song for that.

[Louis Vertel]

Also, you smell amazing. Congrats on you.

[Raven Simone]

Thank you. Thank you very much. I work hard on that, actually. I told my wife to. I was like, I think we're at the point of our marriage where you just have to buy me my smells every Christmas. She's like, okay, dad. Like, I can't help it. I needed my smells. Thank you. I'm glad you like it.

[Louis Vertel]

Now, in honor of your new gig hosting the CW's new Scrabble game show, which, by the way, there used to be an old Scrabble game show with Chuck Woolery. May he rest. He wasn't that good a person, but maybe may he rest. I've been waiting for a new Scrabble to come back, so thank you so much for, like, achieving my dream. Thank you. Oh, you're welcome. We wanted to challenge you with questions about your career and also about the official Scrabble dictionary.

[Raven Simone]

Okay.

[Louis Vertel]

Obviously, in a segment we're calling A Word with Raven Simone. Are you ready I'm ready, Simone.

[Bruce Valanch]

Okay.

[Louis Vertel]

Well, thank God, because someone.

[Raven Simone]

Oh, that's a cute picture.

[Louis Vertel]

Oh, look at us. Jesus. Yes, that's cute.

[Raven Simone]

That's a cute picture.

[Louis Vertel]

I have never been svelter. Oh, my God. I wanted to ask. Up top, have you ever taken a day off work since the day you were born? You have been on television literally since before you had the choice to be on television.

[Raven Simone]

Very true. I have to be honest. I've never taken a day off of work. I remember there was one moment, though, and it wasn't work. I was trying to do, like, a Martha Stewart on YouTube A million years ago. It was called Raven Simone Presents. And I was on, like, really bad depression medication at the time, and I, like, crawled underneath the table. I was like, I don't think I can do it today. And then I was like, I'm never taking that again. And now I just, you know, walk around with a fidget all day because I can't take off of work. It's impossible.

[Louis Vertel]

I also wanted to say that you were actually in Demi Lovato's recent documentary called Child Star. Correct. And before we get into the game, I want to play a clip of that conversation triggers.

[Raven Simone]

But I do remember how difficult I was to work with because I was in so much pain and I was hurting. I mean, you weren't the nicest person, right? You weren't, like, welcome. You know, you weren't doing that. But. But being the type of person I am and that I've been in the industry for as long as you and I understand the glaze over the eyes, I didn't hold it against you. I just was like, something's going on there.

[Louis Vertel]

That's fascinating to me. Is that, like, a common occurrence? Like, being around other child stars and just sensing a struggle, celebrities in general?

[Raven Simone]

Yeah, yeah. There's a struggle that I think a lot of people overlook because you are overwhelmed with the accolades and all of the characters they do. But I witness a lot of people in the industry, and I'm like, oh, hi, Glaze. I know that look. Oh, hey, you need to go home. But we don't talk about it that much. It's like the secrets I was gonna say.

[Louis Vertel]

I mean, you were a veteran at a very young age. Do you feel like you basically had to grow up too fast?

[Raven Simone]

I don't know. I had to grow up at the speed that I needed to grow up in. In order to get this. These taxes paid. You know what I mean? Like, I had jobs, I had directors. I knew things at A young age when it came to business a lot before a lot of people my age. And sure, looking from the outside in, you grow up fast. But I mean, I just created a really thick skin so that I didn't fall too hard.

[Louis Vertel]

And you're with me now. And you smell great, as I said. So in my opinion, you won. Shall we jump to some Scrabble? Let's jump to Scrabble. All right, Raven, here's the deal. I'm going to give you some words and you tell me if they're real or not.

[Raven Simone]

Done.

[Louis Vertel]

And I don't want to be disappointed. So let's get it together.

[Raven Simone]

Winning.

[Louis Vertel]

Raven, is this a real word in the Scrabble dictionary? Za, a noun meaning pizza.

[Raven Simone]

Z A. Za is a real word, but I don't know if it's a noun meaning pizza, but I think za is a real word.

[Louis Vertel]

It is. Yes. Very good. I think. Still the last letter on the two letter words list, which my mom made me memorize at a young age. Talk about being a child star. How about that?

[Raven Simone]

Look at you. Successful, I see.

[Louis Vertel]

Yeah. No, Scrabble in my house was no joke. It was scary. I played with my grandparents and.

[Raven Simone]

And how old were you then?

[Louis Vertel]

9Ish.

[Raven Simone]

Yeah, that's a hardcore loss.

[Louis Vertel]

And they were Irish. And you know that there is a darkness to that.

[Raven Simone]

That is a darkness. Right, Sorry. You know what? I see you.

[Louis Vertel]

Thank you. Fucking finally. Is this a real word in the Scrabble dictionary? Cyclopsy, noun. The medical term for the state of being a cyclops.

[Raven Simone]

I'm going to say. No, that is not a word.

[Louis Vertel]

You are correct again.

[Raven Simone]

Yeah, that's not a word, bruh.

[Louis Vertel]

I would love to accuse.

[Raven Simone]

Cyclopsytosis.

[Louis Vertel]

Yes, that's right. It's much more. It's much more Greek.

[Raven Simone]

Yeah.

[Louis Vertel]

Yes.

[Raven Simone]

Come on now.

[Louis Vertel]

I would love to accuse somebody of having cyclops. There are a few in my life, I think. Is this a real word in the Scribble dictionary? Batman. A proper noun. The name of DC Comics. Dark Knight.

[Raven Simone]

Oh, my goodness. I'm gonna say that that is a real word.

[Louis Vertel]

You're three for three. It is.

[Raven Simone]

I'm the host of Scrabble on the CW every Thursday night. You're missing it.

[Louis Vertel]

It's on right now.

[Raven Simone]

You're missing it. Ratings.

[Louis Vertel]

Oh, we're going to help. We're going to help. Also, that is not because of the Cape Crusader. I guess a Batman was also a historical term for an orderly or attendant or a British military officer. You knew that, though. You knew that.

[Raven Simone]

Wait a British military officer named Batman.

[Louis Vertel]

Why not?

[Raven Simone]

You know what? Next question.

[Louis Vertel]

They're cute over there.

[Raven Simone]

They're real cute.

[Louis Vertel]

They use the word maths over there like they study math. I think that's so adorable. British people, they've all agreed to use this word.

[Raven Simone]

That's fair. So that's all. That's multiplication and division, right?

[Louis Vertel]

Any math you can think of, add an S. Maths.

[Raven Simone]

Done.

[Louis Vertel]

Okay.

[Raven Simone]

I do English very well.

[Louis Vertel]

See? Is this a real word? Lavallia, noun. The layer of superheated air on top of freely flowing lava.

[Raven Simone]

No, that's not a word.

[Louis Vertel]

You are right again.

[Raven Simone]

You guys, you guys, guess what? I went to set school.

[Louis Vertel]

Do you know what that is?

[Raven Simone]

That's when you go to school on set. But I also went to public school. You guys, I'm killing it right now.

[Louis Vertel]

No, we thought we were nailing these fake words and you're embarrassing us.

[Raven Simone]

I'm killing it. Go set school.

[Louis Vertel]

Is this a real word in the Scrabble dictionary? Eo, E, O. Noun. A type of deep sea wavelength.

[Raven Simone]

Yes.

[Louis Vertel]

No, Raven, it's not.

[Raven Simone]

Yes, it is.

[Louis Vertel]

You went to set school and everyone can tell.

[Raven Simone]

It is a real word.

[Louis Vertel]

Captain EO from that one Michael Jackson movie. That's what you're thinking about?

[Raven Simone]

That's what I'm thinking about.

[Louis Vertel]

Co starring. Can anybody name who I'm thinking of? You are correct. Angelica Houston. Well done. No, we made that up. It sounded so real, we almost killed ourselves.

[Raven Simone]

Yeah, you did it good.

[Louis Vertel]

Is this a real word in the Scrabble dictionary? O, E, noun. A whirlwind off the Faroe Islands.

[Raven Simone]

Yes.

[Louis Vertel]

Yes, it is.

[Raven Simone]

Oh, see, it's just.

[Louis Vertel]

Okay, you got it a little mixed up.

[Raven Simone]

Yeah, I knew something was up.

[Louis Vertel]

There are a couple of important Scrabble two letter words that are just two vowels, like A, E, O, I, O, E. Anyway, good job, Mom. That's right. Know that for season two of Scrabble.

[Raven Simone]

Good job. You did a good job with him.

[Louis Vertel]

And finally, Raven, is this a real word in the Scrabble dictionary? Ba. Ba, Noun. The immortal soul In Egyptian mythology, ba.

[Raven Simone]

Is a real word. However, it's the sound a sheep makes.

[Louis Vertel]

You're right again. And a bit rude. And a bit rude. How is. Okay, first of all, you hosted the View. You've had every kind of acting experience ever. Game show hosting. Is it an amalgam of your previously used talents or does it feel like a completely new juncture for you?

[Raven Simone]

It feels like a new juncture for me. I'm doing it in conjunction with the podcast with My wife called tea time. And so going back and forth between what I learned on the View and then having to learn an entirely new skill. But when the camera's off, I have to input some of that hosting to keep the energy up, because, let's not get it twisted, we're playing Scrabble, so we have to keep the energy up. And going back and forth between those two talents is interesting. It took me a while to understand. I watched a lot of Dick Clark. I watched the original Scrabble. I watched just a lot of Dick Clark and just how he just riffs off really quick and understands how to get in and out of the. The. What do we call them? Pun.

[Louis Vertel]

Like the rules of the game. The rules of the game.

[Raven Simone]

They call them something like Buntons or something like that, but yeah, the rules of the game and making sure that everybody's playing well. So it's. It's. It's a little different. But I like.

[Louis Vertel]

Also, you picked the correct. He's my favorite game show host of all time. There's something about Dick Clark where it's like the decibel level is always exactly right. Like, brings the audience in, brings the audience out.

[Raven Simone]

Right here, right here. He eats the mic just like this. Hello, everybody. We're right here on the pyramid, getting all the. Yeah, this man is real. What are you talking about? Yeah, this man is. Yes.

[Louis Vertel]

Because once upon a time, game show hosts came from radio, so they all had this, like, supersonic, like, understanding of what people listen to and what tunes people out, you know?

[Raven Simone]

He was amazing.

[Louis Vertel]

So well done. Have you fallen in love with any contestants in particular? Is there any word play you've admired on Scrabble?

[Raven Simone]

Calm down, bro.

[Louis Vertel]

This is my zone. I can watch this shit all day.

[Raven Simone]

You know what I mean? I am in love with the person that has memorized all the two letter words and all the three letter words. I find it so interesting because there is a part of the brain that I don't have. I just don't have that part of the brain. So it's. It mesmerizes me every time I see it. I love Scrabble because it's for every type of person, from the popular person to the nerd, to the grandma, to the kid, to the teenager, to everyone. And when you see people play, the ones that are really into it, just the fact that they know the difference between OE and EO and actually knows what it means and knows how to stack it with another word. I love puzzle. I love games. So it's Mesmerizing.

[Louis Vertel]

It's interesting you say you don't have that skill set because you obviously are an actor, so you're memorizing things all the time. And I feel like all Scrabble really requires is like memorization skills. If you want to look up the two and three letter words.

[Raven Simone]

Yeah, no, I don't really memorize very well. I'll remember something and forget it the next day. That's why I don't know how to spell either, because that's all I did for spelling tests. You just learn it and then write it down. I don't remember how to do it. Thank you, Siri. But honestly, I really have a bad memory.

[Louis Vertel]

Oh, yeah, Yeah, I do. That's so amazing. No, by the way, nothing is more random in life than who can't spell. At Kimmel, we read like all the. All the jokes will be compiled into one document. There's this one writer in particular. I will not call him out. Just. What, like, what did you come up with?

[Raven Simone]

Yeah, it's crazy. Spelling is. It's a long lost art.

[Louis Vertel]

No, it's either. It's like you just have that visual component of your brain that's like, I remember it exactly as is. Or, you know, you don't. It's bizarre.

[Raven Simone]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Louis Vertel]

Okay, well, Raven, thank you. You can watch scrabble on the CW Network's Thursday at 8 when we're back. I've been told there's a wheel. Don't go anywhere. This is Love it or Leave it. And there's more on the way.

[John Lovett]

Love it or Leave it is brought to you by the International Rescue Committee. For more than 90 years, when crises strike, from war and violence to flood and famine, the International Rescue Committee has been there helping displaced families survive, recover and rebuild. The IRC responds within 72 hours of an emergency and stays as long as needed, providing humanitarian aid to millions of families. Right now, in crisis stricken places like Gaza, Lebanon, Afghanistan and Ukraine, severe winter weather is putting displaced families at even greater risk. Many makeshift camps can't withstand the extreme cold. Some people live without reliable electricity, while others can't afford the fuel to heat their homes. Pregnant women, children, the elderly and people with disabilities are especially vulnerable. Your tax deductible donations can help the IRC provide critical resources. Emergency food, clean water, shelter, fuel, medicines, blankets, winter gear and cash assistance. You can give confidently because the IRC has consistently awarded top marks by charity watchdog groups for their efficient use of donor contribution. Donate today by visiting rescue.orgrebuild. that's rescue.orgrebuild love it or Leave it is brought to you by Sling TV. Seems like things change every 20 minutes. It's hard to keep up. That's why you should watch Sling. They provide the best value for essential news channels. With Sling, you get your favorite news channels at the best price. CNN, MSNBC, even Fox News if that's your jam. Anderson Cooper 360 and Hannity. Your two favorite shows. Also the Rachel Mano show and more for just $40 a month. So yeah, with the election coverage and everything else happening, you can get news that'll raise your blood pressure at prices that won't. Get the best price on news about what's going on in the world, then say that's what's going on in the world. And it's not just news. Check this out. Sling has live sports, news and entertainment channels you love and less of the ones you don't. So you save hundreds of dollars. Sling lets you choose and customize your channel lineup so you can choose the channels you actually like. Slings cloud DVR lets you record your shows to watch in your schedule. There's no complex technology, no long term contracts, and no hidden rigmarole. Sling is great. You can record most of the live TV channels with the DVR you can watch on all of your devices. Even at the same time you have access to some of your favorite local channels. So it's a great way to make sure you're getting the channels you need to get and not, you know, the hundreds of channels are crap that you don't need. Get rewarded for watching your favorite news channel. Sling lets you do that. Visit sling.com now to learn more and get started that that's sling.com now sling.com now this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. The holiday season is, as they say, the most wonderful time of year. It can be filled with joy and happiness, but it can also be the most stressful time of the year. Scheduling conflicts, added expenses, family dynamics and drama can all take a toll. So it's important to slow down and not lose sight of your mental well being. Therapy is a great way to do just that. Not only during this stressful time of the year, but all year long. And better help. Online therapy is a great way to get into therapy. BetterHelp is designed to be convenient, flexible and built around your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist that fits your needs and preferences and once matched, you can connect via phone, video, text or chat. Whatever works for you. It's surprisingly affordable too so this holiday season, give yourself a gift you can appreciate all year round. Therapy is great. I definitely have had times in the holidays. My therapist once said that the holidays are like her busy season. And I remember I was having a rough time and she was always like, if you ever need anything between sessions, you can always text. And I never did. I always just saved it for the sessions. But then there was one time it was like around New Year's I was like, hey, I gotta jump on the phone. Cause I gotta say some stuff before I go to a party and if I don't say it before I go to the party, I don't know what's gonna happen. And so therapy can really help during the holidays. People get sad during the holidays. You know all the movies about how everything's perfect but everything's not Perfect. So visit betterhelp.com love it today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp h e l p.com love it. Betterhelp.com love it.

[Louis Vertel]

If you just can't get enough of me, you'll be happy to know that I host Crooked's pop culture podc Keep it every Wednesday with my co host Ira Madison iii. This week we're holding space to talk about the much anticipated glicked premiere weekend. Listen to this Gravity Defying episode to find out if the Wicked and Gladiator mashup will measure up to its not so distant predecessor, Barbenheimer. Spoiler alerts. New episodes drop every Wednesday only on the Keep it feed. Subscribe so you never miss an episode. Welcome back to the stage, Bruce. We've decided you should be my adversary. So we're exactly be a real Frost Nixon sort of situation. Yes.

[Bruce Valanch]

And I'm Alphabet.

[Louis Vertel]

Of course you are. Yes.

[Bruce Valanch]

Alphabetically speaking.

[Louis Vertel]

Tis the season to spend hours searching for the perfect present for people who really just want cash in silence. But since this isn't the year where anyone is getting what they want, we're going to share a gift recommendation for that special someone in your life or that someone that you've been seeing for a few weeks and you don't want to get them something too nice, but you can't give them nothing. Sorry. Projecting. Anyway, we're all gay. And these are all gifts.

[Bruce Valanch]

We are. Oh my God.

[Louis Vertel]

Cue up the gay gift guide. I just want to say we have all categories of homosexual represented here. Someone who's written for a couple of Oscar ceremonies. Someone who's written for a whole bunch of Oscar ceremonies. And Raven Simone.

[Raven Simone]

That's the three I think that works.

[Louis Vertel]

That's everybody.

[Bruce Valanch]

Absolutely.

[Louis Vertel]

Let's spin the wheel.

[Raven Simone]

It's me.

[Louis Vertel]

It's Raven Simone, television's own.

[Raven Simone]

It's me.

[Louis Vertel]

Do you have a gay gift guide recommendation for us?

[Raven Simone]

Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna say get a portable tea kettle.

[Louis Vertel]

And why would you say that? Are you just a dotty old British woman secretly?

[Raven Simone]

True. No, I do think that hot water anywhere is very important.

[Bruce Valanch]

Yeah.

[Raven Simone]

You guys just stick with me here.

[Louis Vertel]

Certainly.

[Raven Simone]

I love hot water. It's better for hydration. We know we get dry and you just need to make sure you're safe. And then sometimes when you go to Airbnb's, the teapot is really rusty, so bring your own. And I have no other reason.

[Louis Vertel]

Does this mean you're a tea drinker, period?

[Raven Simone]

I'm a hot water drinker.

[Louis Vertel]

Just hot water.

[Raven Simone]

Yeah.

[Louis Vertel]

I've never heard this done before.

[Raven Simone]

It's so good. And then when you go. And you go to somebody's house and they have a lemon, you put a little lemon in there. But I have my own teapot because I don't trust people in the way they clean all the time.

[Louis Vertel]

So you're just like, sipping it really, really slowly. Like you like it fucking hot.

[Raven Simone]

Yeah, like fucking hot.

[Louis Vertel]

That's right. Thank you for putting it in a language I can understand.

[Raven Simone]

Gay.

[Louis Vertel]

Yes. Right. Us three. Yes. Well done.

[Raven Simone]

Thank you.

[Louis Vertel]

Shall we spin again?

[Raven Simone]

Yeah.

[Louis Vertel]

There's only two of us left. This is thrilling. Oh, come on. A special guest star. Nope. It's Bruce Valanch.

[Bruce Valanch]

Yes. All the chins are here.

[Louis Vertel]

Bruce, do you have a gay gift recommendation either to get or receive?

[Bruce Valanch]

Other than my book. Available on Amazon now on every order.

[Louis Vertel]

That goes without saying.

[Bruce Valanch]

Yeah, that goes without saying. Probably a bedside microwave would be handy.

[Raven Simone]

To sit next to yourself.

[Bruce Valanch]

A microwave that. Well. Continuing our warming up theme, all the things you could warm up while you're in bed. Other than each other or alone. Especially if you're alone. I mean, it's kind of like. It could have, like the effect of Jiffy Pop on you. Just anything. Decorate it nicely, you know, so it like. Like for those snacks that you just don't need to go to the kitchen to get. This is, you know, how you get to weigh 246 pounds. Very important.

[Louis Vertel]

What's the ideal first of all snack to go into a bed? Microwave. And also, where is it? Like, on an end table.

[Bruce Valanch]

Probably.

[Louis Vertel]

Okay.

[Bruce Valanch]

I mean, it's not on the beginning table, probably. Yes. I would say it's within reach. You know, just passed all the pills yes.

[Louis Vertel]

You live in the movie Valley of the Dolls. Yes.

[Bruce Valanch]

Right, Exactly. And the bong that you don't want to knock over because it's glass and irreplaceable artwork and all that. So, yes. It's probably very close to the bed so that you can get. Mostly, I guess I'm thinking about, like, edibles that we all crave at night, but we won't get out of bed to get them. It's too much work. And I want to eliminate that problem.

[Raven Simone]

I'm staying over his house.

[Louis Vertel]

Yeah. Wow.

[Bruce Valanch]

It's either that or Liza Minnelli's memoirs. One or the other. I mean, that's pretty damn gay.

[Louis Vertel]

Well, we say it reminds me of. Actually, am I thinking of. It's Liza Minnelli and maybe Michael Jackson, who would have sleepovers in a bed and would just. Like, a whole bunch of people would cuddle. It's like, that needs a bed. Microwave. You know what I mean? I don't wanna leave the room. We're having too much fun giggling about bubbles or whatever's happening.

[Bruce Valanch]

I have popcorn right here. Exactly right. And the melted lava cake and all that important stuff. Well.

[Louis Vertel]

And the hot water. Are you paying attention?

[Raven Simone]

Always.

[Bruce Valanch]

Because we don't eat the cake, right? No, we just use it.

[Louis Vertel]

And we got to spin that wheel one more time.

[Bruce Valanch]

Yeah.

[Louis Vertel]

Oh, my God, it's me. I would like to say I prepared for this moment, but. Okay. Now, obviously, I am obsessed with trivia anyway. I am constantly reading trivia when I don't have to. In fact, I am a writer on the new pop Culture Jeopardy. Which just premiered the other day on Amazon prime, hosted by Colin Jost. It is so weird that he has two of my dream jobs, which is Weekend Update and hosting Pop Culture Jeopardy. So, anyway, I'm gonna try not to, like, assassinate him. But anyway, so I'm thinking about trivia all the time. Honestly, a good gift that I think is fun for parties. Trivia Pursuits sells stacks of cards that are just like 80s, 90s, 2000s, 2010s. When you have those out at a party, people read them. And like, if you bring them to a bar and put them on a table, I'm telling you, they get read. And those fights you say don't happen at bars happen.

[Bruce Valanch]

The fights happen because the Trivial Pursuit things are outdated, which is, by the.

[Louis Vertel]

Way, the best kind.

[Bruce Valanch]

Yeah. So you can argue. No, it's not Gone with the Wind. Avatar made more money than Gone with the Wind. But the card says Gone with the Wind. I'm sorry, The Card was before Avatar. Can we throw down now or just.

[Louis Vertel]

No. When you get, like, old 80s Trivial Pursuit, it's shocking how many times the answer is, like, Dynasty. You know, it's just like that was the last thing that happened in pop culture, you know? Right. So truly, if you set them out at, like, just a dinner you're having at your house, or literally bring them to a bar and put them on the bar, I'm telling you, magic occurs.

[Raven Simone]

You can do that. Or every Thursday after Scrabble, you can watch Trivial pursuit, hosted by LeVar Burton.

[Louis Vertel]

How about you? Yes. One of the Mensches of our time. LeVar Burton.

[Raven Simone]

Come on now.

[Louis Vertel]

Now, I assume now, do you have a history with LeVar Burton? You both have, like, a long, long television history.

[Raven Simone]

Yeah, we do. Listen, a lot of the people that look like me, we all cool. You know what I mean? We all know each other, so. Yeah, I know him.

[Louis Vertel]

I'm gonna say you've probably been to like six Emmy awards with LeVar Burton.

[Raven Simone]

No.

[Bruce Valanch]

Okay, I know him and I met him, actually. I was doing the Paul Lynde Halloween special.

[Louis Vertel]

Oh, and forgive me for not asking about the Paul Lynde Halloween special.

[Bruce Valanch]

Well, this will give you a taste of it. Roots had just been on that week, and we were shooting it, I think it was that week or right around then. And Roots was gigantic. I mean, it's impossible because we have so many universes now that we can choose from with streaming, but back when there were the three networks, everybody in America was watching Roots, and so it instantly catapulted him. And we were shooting the Paul Lynde Halloween special, and we had a smoke break. So I went out with Paul and we were standing outside the studio, and LeVar Burton came down outside at ABC, came down the walkway, and Paul immediately recognized him, but of course he could not remember his name. And so he just pointed at him and went, roots. And LeVar Burton cracked up.

[Raven Simone]

Oh, my God.

[Bruce Valanch]

Because he knew exactly what had happened. And he ran over and of course, you know, he was. He was very busy being impressed with Paul. But Paul, you know, Paul really was an actor, and he really wanted to be taken seriously as an actor who could be more than just a one line guy. And lavar was brilliant.

[Raven Simone]

Brilliant.

[Bruce Valanch]

So he was first job, first hats. No, Paul Lynn seems to the canyon.

[Louis Vertel]

Which was right around Paul Lynn seems like he was both a combination of. Of extremely hilarious and then also scary. Like he just like full of anger.

[Bruce Valanch]

He was a miserable guy. Yeah. On one drink, he was a lot of fun on two drinks. He was the Nazi high command. Yeah. I mean, he was. He was. He was not happy. And when the light was on, him, he was happy, but he was miserable and he wasn't doing what he wanted to do and was rich doing what he didn't want to do.

[Raven Simone]

That always happens.

[Louis Vertel]

Yeah, yeah. I've heard this tale before. Yes. It's also in the book.

[Bruce Valanch]

So there you go.

[Louis Vertel]

Oh, okay. More for us to excavate there. Now when we're back, we're about to go on a joyride. And we're back. There really is a queued up woo for love it or leave it that the audience recreates for us every day, and I'm so thankful for it. Our producer, Chris is standing out in the audience. So please raise your hand to take your turn on the joyride, which, by the way, is a very underrated ke$single that came out this year. My joyride was literally down the coast of California, Northern California, with my daughter. I'm from California and she was raised in Connecticut. So when we got to drive down from Mendocino in Sonoma county and watched the sunset, she had her head out the window and she was looking at the sunset and it was like a 360.

[Bruce Valanch]

And I was.

[Louis Vertel]

Was seeing her experience California the way I had when I was young. And it was a moment that I.

[Bruce Valanch]

Waited 20 years for.

[Louis Vertel]

So that was my joy ride with my daughter. Yeah. Jesus Christ. That was like a poem almost. I think joyride just peaked. You just have to cancel this bit. Now, have either of you been on any particularly fabulous road trips in your life?

[Bruce Valanch]

No. You? I. No. I mean, I. No. I grew up in Jersey and we avoided them.

[Louis Vertel]

Good for us. Midwest. Yeah, same thing.

[Raven Simone]

I grew up with road trips. My mom, we used to drive from Atlanta to Los Angeles because I would shoot, hang with Mr. Cooper in Los Angeles, and it was easier to drive. My wife and I just drove from Buffalo to LA because she was very sick and didn't want to get on a plane. So we drove across. But when I tell you, when you drive across America, it is a beautiful experience as long as you stay on certain roads after a certain time period. It's really beautiful, the food we gotta work on. But I will say, I love a road trip. I love what it can do to family, just like you and your daughter, what it can do to strengthen a bond. And I love a game. I love a game in a car. Oh, look, the eyes.

[Louis Vertel]

The eyes. No, it's just good. Psycho eyes. Yes. Yeah. It's good.

[Raven Simone]

Bond.

[Louis Vertel]

No, true. You're right. I think of my mom and just, like, pointing out cars or signs or letters on signs. That was how I spent my whole childhood. And then being way too thrilled to win and horrified to lose.

[Raven Simone]

I have this fun game that we play, and I'm going to butcher it right now, but I'm thinking of a word, and then you say what you think I'm thinking, and I'm like, hot or cold? Hot or cold. And it's literally from an emotion all the way to a rug. And I will play that for hours, won't I, babe? That's my favorite game. And then I also really like trying to do the Alphabet in alpha, beta, like the whole.

[Louis Vertel]

Oh, going through the list.

[Raven Simone]

Yeah, going through the list. That's really difficult, but it's fun. It eats up time.

[Bruce Valanch]

When we were doing Hollywood Squares, Whoopi had had a bad flying experience, and so she didn't want to get on a plane, so she rented one of Dolly Parton's buses. And we were shooting it in la, and she was living in New York, and so she would drive out. It was 42 hours. She had two drivers who spelled each other, and she drew a map from New York to LA that had every Popeyes Chicken on it that you could stop at, because that was what she was eating back then.

[Raven Simone]

It's all about the route.

[Bruce Valanch]

It's all about the route, and she's all about fried food and 42 hours. And she kept saying, oh, come on with me. We'll have fun. I said, no, you'll be in the stateroom at the back of the bus, and I'll be sleeping on one of the shelves, because that's how those buses are built. And, you know, and when she would get there, I would looked, you know, and it had shelves for people to sleep on. And then. But because it was Dolly's bus, it had. The upper shelf was all wig heads.

[Raven Simone]

Hilarious.

[Louis Vertel]

Oh, my God.

[Bruce Valanch]

They were empty. Because Dolly took the wig. She was no fool.

[Raven Simone]

But because Whoopi definitely wanted Dolly's wig.

[Bruce Valanch]

Well, you know, but she's not beyond, you know.

[Raven Simone]

Right.

[Louis Vertel]

You're right.

[Bruce Valanch]

It wasn't her. It would be Dolores Cartier who would.

[Louis Vertel]

Oh, yes, the sister actress.

[Bruce Valanch]

Her alter ego.

[Louis Vertel]

I can't believe Dolly Parton is real sometimes. Wow. She just really has wig heads on a bus like that. That does not. She really does.

[Bruce Valanch]

Yeah. And I've worked with her, and I'm working with her right now. And her hair is a lot the same color as all those wigs and it's a lot like it. She has real hair and all that she just never wanted to show. It goes back to all the days where you had to do that to be on country music television, basically. And so she just got into the habit of doing it. And now they're all very modern looking but they are always.

[Louis Vertel]

I am a little resentful when people whose job it is just to be like a singer or a songwriter also then happen to be hilarious. Like, no, that's my whole job. Like you do my job on accident, right?

[Bruce Valanch]

Yeah.

[Louis Vertel]

You know, not fair. Anyway, that is our show. Thank you to Raven Simonet and Bruce Valanche. I had a blast with you two. Fabulous time being here.

[Bruce Valanch]

Thank you.

[Raven Simone]

You're fantastic.

[Louis Vertel]

Thank you.

[Bruce Valanch]

Yay.

[Raven Simone]

Thank you.

[Louis Vertel]

Some quick math for you. There are 93 days till the Oscars.

[Raven Simone]

Maths.

[Louis Vertel]

Yep, Maths.

[Bruce Valanch]

Thank you.

[Louis Vertel]

Thank you.

[Bruce Valanch]

Callback Maths with an S. Yes, that's Britain. Yes.

[Louis Vertel]

Maths.

[Bruce Valanch]

Yes.

[Louis Vertel]

There are 696 days until the 2026 midterms. But until then, have a great night and have a great week. Love it or Leave It Just love It or Leave It Love it or.

[John Lovett]

Leave it is a crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, Chris Lord is our producer and Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Halle Kiefer is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles and Mohanad El Sheikh are our writers. Evan Sutton is our editor. Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer and Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by sure Shore. Thanks to our designer Bernardo Cerna for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, David Toles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman and Matt De Groat for filming and editing video each week. So you can.

[Louis Vertel]

Love it or leave.

[John Lovett]

It.

[Louis Vertel]

Or leave it. This is the sound of your ride home with dad after he caught you vaping. Awkward, isn't it? Most vapes contain seriously addictive levels of nicotine and disappointment.

[John Lovett]

Know the real cost of vapes brought.

[Raven Simone]

To you by the fda.

[John Lovett]

Hell's gates are open. Get ready to save humanity in Diablo 4 vessel of hatred. Continue the saga and carve your own path through Sanctuary's cursed lands with massive updates to character progression difficulties and loot systems for powerful demon slaying action. Unleash fierce skills as you embark on an immersive campaign, tackle new co op dungeons and team up with allies using the new party finder. Hell awaits you. Get Diablo 4 and the new expansion Vessel of Hatred, available now in the Diablo 4 expansion bundle. Rated M for mature.