Feel the Burn Bag

Summary

Lovett or Leave It: Episode Summary – "Feel the Burn Bag"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Lovett or Leave It
• Host/Author: Crooked Media
• Description: Hosted by Jon Lovett, the show dissects the biggest and dumbest political stories each week, featuring a mix of humor and insightful discussions with notable guests. This season promises big guests and surprising conversations you won’t find elsewhere.
• Episode: Feel the Burn Bag
• Release Date: August 2, 2025

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1. Epstein Conspiracy Theories and Trump Administration
Timestamp: 00:31 – 11:37

The episode kicks off with a deep dive into the resurgence of conspiracy theories surrounding Jeffrey Epstein, especially in the context of the second Trump administration. Jon Lovett and co-host Tom Power discuss Epstein's controversial plea deal in 2008, which resulted in Epstein serving only 13 months in county jail despite multiple accusations of abusing underage girls [07:22]. Lovett reflects on the previous lenient treatment Epstein received and how it fueled various conspiracy theories, including claims that Epstein was a spy and that his alleged blackmail materials were the reason for his impunity.

Tom Power highlights how former President Trump and his MAGA supporters exacerbated these theories, connecting Epstein to broader narratives of elite corruption and the so-called “deep state.” Power cites Trump's inconsistent statements about his relationship with Epstein, undermining credibility and fueling further speculation [08:35]. Notably, Trump’s recent comments about potentially pardoning Ghislaine Maxwell, Epstein’s accomplice, raise eyebrows and prompt criticism about his intentions [11:37]. The discussion underscores the troubling intersection of wealth, power, and lack of accountability, emphasizing the ongoing impact of Epstein's legacy on political discourse.

Notable Quotes:

• Tom Power [08:43]: "The deeper conspiracies talk, the more obvious it is that there’s a cover-up by a politicized Justice Department."
• Donald Trump [11:37]: "I'm allowed to give her a pardon, but I. Nobody's approached me with it. Nobody's asked me about it."

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2. Celebrity Guests: Patton Oswalt and Peppermint
Timestamp: 26:37 – 44:45

The show welcomes comedian Patton Oswalt and artist Peppermint, who bring a blend of humor and personal anecdotes to the discussion. They engage in playful banter about the challenges of creativity and the pressures of modern media. Patton shares his experiences with upcoming projects, including his new audio special, highlighting the enduring value of live audiences and the unique connection found in comedy albums [46:07].

Peppermint discusses her roles in various projects, such as her participation in an all-trans performance of "The Drowsy Chaperone" at Carnegie Hall and her documentary work on Netflix’s "Survival of the Thickest." The guests also touch upon the evolving landscape of entertainment, emphasizing the importance of authentic storytelling and the struggles artists face in a profit-driven industry.

Notable Quotes:

• Patton Oswalt [47:05]: "We are drifting into the realm of eternal first drafts. The thrill of the search is gone."
• Peppermint [35:06]: "Listen, if we want to have nice things in our society, we need to deal with our misogyny problem."

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3. TV Show Cancellations and Industry Critique
Timestamp: 54:34 – 63:20

Ashley Nicole Black and Alice Wetterlund discuss the abrupt cancellation of their show "Resident Alien," shedding light on the broader issues within the television industry. They critique how financial motivations overshadow creative endeavors, lamenting the shift from storytelling to shareholder profit. Alice explains how the show was canceled despite strong ratings, highlighting the disconnect between audience preferences and network decisions [55:03].

The conversation evolves into a critique of Hollywood’s focus on high-budget productions like "Iron Man," which dominate due to their financial success, leaving smaller, character-driven shows struggling for airtime and funding. They argue that this trend stifles creativity and diversity, making it difficult for innovative content to thrive in a market driven by profit rather than artistic merit.

Notable Quotes:

• Ashley Nicole Black [56:32]: "We're just trying to make boat and cocaine shows. Like I was telling you backstage, I go home every single time I go home, my family is watching Martin."
• Alice Wetterlund [60:24]: "Money has become removed from labor. Money is flowing out and it's not going to labor or promo or buying props and drugs anymore. It's going elsewhere."

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4. First Amendment Advice Segment: "First Amendment. Second Thoughts."
Timestamp: 65:31 – 74:02

In the "First Amendment. Second Thoughts." segment, listeners submit dilemmas about whether to speak their truths in various personal and professional scenarios. The panel, including Ashley Nicole Black and Kendra James, offers advice on navigating these tricky situations.

Example Discussions:

• Workplace Bragging:

  • Alice Wetterlund [66:06]: "Should I tell her she needs to be more confident and talk up her team or just keep my head down?"
  • Advice: Encourage honesty and constructive feedback while considering the impact on professional relationships.

• Use of "Girlfriend" in Diverse Communities:

  • Kendra James [69:02]: "In a queer community, should I tell a straight white lady to stop referring to her friend as her girlfriend?"
  • Advice: Foster open dialogue and educate on inclusive language without alienating individuals.

Notable Quotes:

• Kendra James [70:03]: "We just need more words for adults who are going to date forever and never get married."
• Ashley Nicole Black [72:19]: "If we're going to deal with our misogyny problem, we need male podcast hosts to talk about it more."

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5. Rant Wheel: Frustrations and Pet Peeves
Timestamp: 79:37 – 93:31

The episode concludes with the "Rant Wheel" segment, where hosts and guests express their frustrations on various topics:

• Patton Oswalt Rants About Instagram's Impact on Arguments:

  • Patton Oswalt [80:12]: "Instagram has become a way for my wife to win arguments with me. There’s an overproduced video that will take your side every time."

• Tom Power Rants About Ineffective Government Regulations on Video Games and Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop:

  • Tom Power [87:36]: "The video game Balatro should be stopped by the government. It sucks you into its vortex like a drug."
  • Tom Power [91:08]: Apologizes to Gwyneth Paltrow for dismissing her goop products initially but admits he struggles with understanding her salad innovations.

• Kendra James Rants About Modern Technology Failures:

  • Kendra James [86:21]: "Nothing works anymore. Websites are broken, phonebots can't make appointments, and doctors are becoming subscription services."

Notable Quotes:

• Patton Oswalt [81:00]: "There is an overproduced video that will take your side that you can send to people. We're losing our ability to close arguments."
• Kendra James [83:30]: "Nothing works anymore, and I sound old, but I'm hot."

---

Conclusion

"Feel the Burn Bag" delves into the murky waters of political conspiracies, critiquing the intertwining of wealth and power within the Trump administration. The episode seamlessly transitions into discussions about the challenges faced by creatives in a profit-centric entertainment industry, highlighting the struggles of maintaining authenticity and diversity. Through engaging guest appearances and interactive segments like the First Amendment advice and Rant Wheel, the podcast offers a balanced mix of serious discourse and relatable humor. Listeners gain insights into the current political climate, the state of modern media, and personal frustrations in an increasingly complex world.

Final Notable Quotes:

• Tom Power [93:09]: "It's when you try to read the news and everybody's telling you no one's reading anymore."
• Ashley Nicole Black [93:17]: "We need male podcast hosts to remember they need to not just rubber stamp rape culture."

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Additional Information: For more engaging discussions and exclusive content, listeners are encouraged to subscribe to Crooked Media’s Friends of the Pod community and follow Lovett or Leave It on various podcast platforms and social media channels.

Transcript

[John Lovett]

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[Tom Power]

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[John Lovett]

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[Peppermint]

Yeah, we're talking compression socks.

[John Lovett]

So I just went to Italy for a vacation during the summer and Ari bought Bombas compression socks to wear on the plane. And I was like looking at these things and I was like, I guess this is the age I'm at. It's time for compression socks.

[Peppermint]

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[John Lovett]

And I know, and I have to tell you something. I love Bomba socks. And I hope it's okay that I'm telling the Bombas people this, that I wore the compression socks and was like.

[Tom Power]

You know what, I don't need these.

[John Lovett]

I put my normal socks back on, but they were Bombas.

[Patton Oswalt]

There you go.

[Tom Power]

So I switched it from Bombas to Bombas. There you go. Compression socks.

[John Lovett]

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[Tom Power]

Head over to bombas.com and use code love it for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M B A S.com.

[John Lovett]

Code love it at checkout bombas.com and use code Love it. Okay, so I'm Tom Power.

[Tom Power]

I host the award winning interview show.

[John Lovett]

Q And it's not just about art.

[Peppermint]

It's also a podcast that delves into.

[Tom Power]

Conversations with artists as to why we create at all.

[John Lovett]

Like, you'll hear Boy Genius member Lucy.

[Tom Power]

Dacus open up about why she's dead.

[John Lovett]

Dissatisfied with the way we talk about love. You'll hear Cate Blanchett describe what it's.

[Peppermint]

Like to forget the sound of your own voice.

[Tom Power]

And you'll hear how Colman Domingo actually.

[John Lovett]

Honed his acting skills in the circus.

[Tom Power]

Listen to Q with me, Tom Power.

[John Lovett]

Wherever you get your podcasts.

[Tom Power]

What's up, Los Angeles? It's great to be back at Dynasty Typewriter. Welcome to Love it or Leave It. We have got an incredible show. Patton Oswalt and Peppermint are here to roll around in some summer slop. It'll make sense. Ashley Nicole Black and Alice Wedeland are back to give their priceless stance on your free speech. Then we wrap it all up with a spin of the rant wheel. But first, let's get into it. What a week. Just six months into the second Trump administration and three and a half weeks into Epstein Gate, it's official. We're all conspiracy theorists now. That's right, the earth is flat and covered with elite pedophiles. Now let's all cast our minds back to 2008. It's the great Recession. Carrie and Big got married in the Sex and the City movie, so we figured that was done. And Jeffrey Epstein, who'd been accused of abusing multiple teen girls, just struck an unprecedented sweetheart deal with prosecutor Alex Acosta, who would later become Trump's secretary of labor. But we didn't know that yet. We didn't know Trump would ever have a cabinet, hadn't even heard a porn star's description of what his penis looks like. We were innocent and we were happy. Now, under that plea agreement, Epstein served only 13 months in county jail, most of it spent on work release. Back to the grind, said a newly freed Jeffrey Epstein, placing a compromising photo of Prince Andrew into an envelope along with a Greetings from Palm beach postcard. Blank except for a 12 digit account number registered to Banco Nacion. It's a living. Epstein is described at that time as a hedge fund manager, even though there aren't any SEC filings to prove a hedge fund ever existed. And yeah, sure, you can claim your profession is what you believe you should be one day, but not in New York. That's an LA thing. Now, as a result of the plea, the depths of Epstein's depravity were not publicly known and even though he was a registered sex offender, he still used his wealth to keep his purchase in polite society. Holding dinners, donating to academic institutions, mingling with celebrities and elites. And he used those connections to enrich himself further. Billionaire Leon Black, the founder of Apollo Global Management, paid Epstein at least $170 million, according to an investigation in the Senate led by Ron Wyden, all years after Epstein pled in 2008. This was, according to Wyden's investigation, ostensibly for tax planning purposes, even though Epstein had no tax expertise and most of the money was paid outside of any written contract or agreement. Which isn't totally true, because a lot of what Epstein sent Black was in a folder on his computer labeled taxes. Now it's 10 years later, in 2018, we get to see those funky Obama portraits. They're cool. They're really cool. Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson are giving us the feels. The success of crazy rich Asians leads Hollywood studios to wonder, could we cast Asians? And Julia K. Brown's reporting in the Miami Herald identified at least 80 victims of Jeffrey Epstein and brought national attention to the Acosta plea agreement, which led the Department of Justice to reopen the investigation. Now, 15 years since a 14 year old girl's family went to the police in Palm beach to say that she had been molested at Epstein's mansion. And police at that time found multiple girls who'd been victims of sexual abuse. Now, all of this fed conspiracy theories, and it was pretty justified. Epstein had received special treatment. His wealth was mysterious. He did cavort with the wealthy and powerful. He was Jewish. But many went further, claiming Epstein was a spy from Assad, that he amassed a vast trove of blackmail materials, which was why he remained free. And that his impunity was proof of a broader conspiracy between elites and the deep state to protect a vast global ring of famous pedophiles. But all of that was about to be put to rest because In July of 2019, federal agents arrested Epstein for sexual abuse and sex trafficking. The truth would finally come out until just one month later. Well, now to breaking News. Sources tell CBS 2 that Jeffrey Epstein.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

The billionaire financier and convicted sex offender.

[Tom Power]

Has died by suicide. Epstein didn't kill himself became a battle cry. And his death meant we never got a public trial where we would have gotten much more of the truth. Plus probably one good podcast and three bad podcasts. Now, personally, I think we should have gone ahead with the trial anyway. Like when they exhumed the corpse of Pope Formus and put him on trial in the year897. Every few centuries, the Catholics have, like, a really good idea. Now, Donald Trump and his MAGA influencers long recognized the usefulness of the conspiratorial mindset back in 2016, and idiotic conspiracy theory claimed that it was called Pizzagate. And it claimed that Hillary Clinton and other Democrats were sending coded messages in their leaked emails which proved she was running a pedophile ring out of the.

[John Lovett]

Basement of a D.C. pizza parlor in.

[Tom Power]

A building with no basement. And as silly and fake as it was, a very real gunman showed up there firing at a door to release the prisoners. And once I heard the commotion, I just, like, got mine to go out of office. Trump and the MAGA establishment fanned the.

[John Lovett]

Flames of all kinds of conspiracy theories.

[Tom Power]

From Epstein to vaccines, to make sure that all of the red string would lead him back to the White House. And it worked. And once in office, he made conspiratorial podcast host Dan Bongino deputy FBI director. And he made Cash Patel, who had praised the QAnon movement. He made him the head of the FBI. It was so exciting. This was like the end of the movie Rudy for people who think Jews have horns. And then it all came crashing down. In February, Attorney General Pam Bondi brought MAGA influencers to the White House to pose with binders of Epstein. Evidence labeled Epstein Phase one. But the binders actually turned out to reveal no new information. She told a reporter that the Epstein list was on her desk to review, but a few months later said that no such list even exists. Phase one, make a big promise. Phase two, humiliate yourself. Been there, girlfriend. And then the New York Times reported that the Justice Department had roped in hundreds of FBI employees and federal prosecutors to comb through more than 100,000 pages of Epstein documents to flag any references to Donald Trump and other prominent people, which they then recorded in a Microsoft SharePoint file. In other words, the Justice Department created an Epstein list and they won't release it Now. I get it. Sharing your work is vulnerable. We all struggle with imposter syndrome from time to time. But you made something really special. The Justice Department. The world deserves to see it. Next we learn that Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche, who at this time last year was Trump's former personal attorney, took the highly unusual step of meeting behind closed doors with Epstein accomplice Ghislaine Maxwell, who is currently serving a 20 year sentence for sex trafficking. But in the tradition of transparency, Blanche did provide the press with a low res video feed of the Meeting shot from an unrelated hallway with approximately 62 crucial seconds missing. Now, all of this raises an obvious question. Is the Trump administration dangling a pardon for Maxwell? If she'll say that Trump had no involvement in Epstein's misconduct. And that raises an obvious angle. Yes. After all, seems like if Donald Trump wants to silence Ghislaine Maxwell, he's got two he dangles a pardon or she dangles from the ceiling. And if you came to this show because you like Patton, Oswald and Ratatouille, welcome. Trump was asked about this clip on Monday. Maxwell, who landed. Is that something you would ever consider?

[Donald Trump]

Pardon for who?

[Tom Power]

For Ghislaine Maxwell.

[Donald Trump]

Well, I'm allowed to give her a pardon, but I. Nobody's approached me with it. Nobody's asked me about it.

[Tom Power]

Hey, no one asked if you were allowed. We're all allowed to do plenty of stuff we absolutely should not do. I'm allowed to wear flip flops to a funeral, and. But I would never, ever do that. I would not do that a second time. And here's the thing. Trump can't seem to get his story straight about why his friendship with Epstein came to an end, which is weird, because explaining why you stopped being friends with a pedophile shouldn't be the hard part. After Epstein's indictment in 2019, Trump said that he and Epstein had a falling out 15 years earlier, around 2004, and said the reason doesn't make any difference. Frankly, the type of thing you say when the reason 100% makes a difference. Last week, the White House said in a statement, the fact is that the president kicked Epstein out of his club for being a creep. And that just doesn't track. You can't kick out all the creeps from Mar A Lago. That's like kicking out all the Pilates moms from Whole Foods or the virgins out of the gun stores. You want to have a business. Besides, the easy answer is sitting right there. Trump should just admit that his country club doesn't accept Jews. Now, that's the third one. That's the third one. I'm hearing it now. Anyway, this week we got a new story. Trump explained that his friendship ended when Emsteed betrayed him by poaching employees from Mar A Lago. You're saying that Jeffrey Epstein poached two of your staffers?

[Patton Oswalt]

Who were they?

[Tom Power]

Were they.

[Donald Trump]

I don't want to say two or. I don't want to say any number you're talking about many years ago. But yeah, he took people. And because he took people, I said don't do it anymore. You know, they work for me. And he took beyond that. He took some others. And once he did that, that was the end of him. I didn't like when they steal people.

[Patton Oswalt]

I don't like it.

[Tom Power]

As I told Jeffrey, people should work at Mar A Lago till they die or be buried alive facing my pyramid. And then, for the first time in this story, things took a dark turn. Trump admitted that the stolen employees from Mar A Lago spa included Epstein victim Virginia Giuffre, who died by suicide earlier this year.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Did one of those stolen persons that include Virginia Nephre?

[Donald Trump]

I don't know. I think she worked at the spa. I think so. I think that was one of the people he stole.

[Tom Power]

Her G's family said in a statement Wednesday it was shocking to hear President Trump say that he was aware that Virginia had been stolen from Mar A Lago. It makes us ask if he was aware of Jeffrey Epstein and Ghisain Maxwell's criminal actions, especially given his statement two years later in that his good friend Jeffrey likes women on the younger side and they're right to wonder because Trump's timeline doesn't work. Jeffrey said in a 2016 deposition that Maxwell approached her at Mar a Lago in 2000. Two years later, in 2002, Trump called Epstein a terrific guy in a New York magazine profile. It was in their famous New York's 15 dating under 15 list. It's a tough week for news. It's a tough week for news. All of this has led to a full blown revolt among many who believe Trump really would expose the truth about Epstein. The Epstein stuff is so crazy because when Cash Patel was on here and he was like, there's no, there's nothing. And I was like, what are you talking?

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, I didn't even know what to say. He's like, well, we have a film. We're gonna release that film. And the film has a minute missing from it.

[Tom Power]

Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

Like, do you think we're babies? Like, what is this?

[Tom Power]

Let's take a deep breath and not get ahead of ourselves. Rogan is incorrect that there's a minute missing. Wired updated their report to say it was actually three minutes. But hold on, before everybody starts spiraling out. CBS later found that the playback in that video was sped up. So eight minutes are missing. And the video doesn't actually prove what the government said it did, which is that no one could have gotten in or out of Epstein's cell, which is absurd on its face. When you see that in the video, you cannot see the door to Epstein's cell. And then we learn this week that in the video there is a mysterious orange blur moving up the stairs towards Epstein's cell in the security camera footage from the night he died, which the government claims is a guard holding prison uniforms, but forensics experts say is more likely someone in a prison uniform. Now, doesn't all of this more likely confirm that the government wasn't covering up a murder, but their own incompetence? Guards not checking his cell, Rules not being followed, Cameras not being functional? No. Regardless, this story isn't going away because Trump has made the conspiracy theories true. There is now a cover up by a politicized Justice Department doing the bidding of a president who is dissembling about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, who dispatched his former personal attorney to talk to Epstein's key accomplice. And he was informed by the Attorney General back in May that he is in the Epstein files. And the best officials can do is try to distract everyone by pretending to have found some damning new evidence in the Russiagate conspiracy hidden in burn bags, which even Trump couldn't figure out.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Burn bags of Russia gate materials.

[Alice Wetterlund]

And we'd love to get your thoughts on that.

[Donald Trump]

He said.

[Tom Power]

What?

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Burn bags of Russia gate materials?

[Tom Power]

I don't know that.

[Donald Trump]

I don't know. I don't know what you mean by that statement.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Bags full of Russia burn bag.

[Donald Trump]

I thought you said appointed a man named burn bag.

[Tom Power]

Fuck is he talking about? The fuck is that? Trump didn't even know that the question was trying to help him out. Because the claim here is that the Justice Department had damning evidence of its own corruption and then put it in a bag and hid it in the Justice Department for Kash Patel to find years later, as a wise man once asked, like, do you think we're babies? And that's not the only conspiracy theory we've come to believe in other corrupt autocrats clinging to power to stay out of prison. News Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has been crying hoax, claiming that contrary to the images we've all seen with our own eyes, no one is starving in Gaza. Israel is presented as though we are applying a campaign of starvation in Gaza. What a bold faced lie. There is no policy of starvation in Gaza and there is no starvation in Gaza. This despite Israel tightening the blockade after the temporary ceasefire ended in March and aid into Gaza plummeting as a result. But you can't get away with denying such an obvious reality. You're not Hunter Biden or my dad bringing me to Hooters that time. Netanyahu's claim that reports of the IDF killing Palestinians at aid distribution sites run by U.S. contractors are a fabricated smear against Israel, even though a former U.S. navy SEAL came forward to say he witnessed this firsthand. I witnessed the Israeli Defense Forces shooting at the crowds of Palestinians. I witnessed the Israeli Defense Forces firing a main gun tank round from the Markava tank into a crowd of people. And Netanyahu continues to blame Hamas for stealing aid, even as Israeli military officials told reporters they'd found no proof that Hamas had systematically stolen aid from the UN and that the UN Aid delivery system was largely effective. That doesn't mean Hamas isn't monstrous. John Wayne Gacy didn't commit tax fraud. Doesn't make him a good guy. Just the facts on the ground. And while Netanyahu insists that Israel isn't to blame for the lack of aid reaching Gaza, we've repeatedly seen that Israel will allow more food and medicine into Gaza when international pressure ramps up. And we all love ratatouille, but we have to talk about this.

[Kendra James]

Thank you.

[Tom Power]

Boy, can that rat cook. Even Donald Trump can see what is happening here.

[Donald Trump]

But we're going to be getting some good, strong food. We can save a lot of people. I mean, some of those kids are. That's real starvation stuff. I see it. And you can't fake that. So we're going to be even more involved.

[Tom Power]

Before we give Trump too much credit, he also demanded a thank you from Gaza.

[Donald Trump]

You know, you really at least want to have somebody say thank you? No other country gave anything. We gave $60 million two weeks ago for food for Gaza. Nobody gave but us. And nobody said, gee, thank you very much, and it would be nice to have at least a thank you.

[Tom Power]

Sorry, man. Hamas stole the thank you cards. We've also been told it's a conspiracy to claim that Benjamin Netanyahu is prolonging this war for his own political purposes. But we now have reporting by the Times from inside the room where Netanyahu was reportedly ready to accept a ceasefire a year ago until far right ministers threatened to withdraw from his coalition. I can't imagine wanting to keep a job this much. If John and Tommy kicked me out, I'd be like, okay, cool, but can you, like, pay me in steam points? Well, if you do a lot of gaming, I don't know what to do. Netanyahu continued the war even as his own commanders told him that there was no further advantage to be gained from the conflict. It meant Israel left certain areas only to recapture them later. Taking, giving up and retaking Al Shifa Hospital in Gaza City led to its near total destruction. Thousands of Palestinians and at least eight hostages have died in the year since that meeting. Meanwhile, Israel's standing in the world hasn't been this precarious in decades. European leaders have rightly begun a push to recognize a Palestinian state, which Israel claims would be rewarding Hamas for committing terrorism. Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney announced that Canada would be open to joining Europe in recognizing Palestine as well. Former Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau released a statement praising Carney, saying, baby, you're a firework. Come on, show him what you're worth. And it's strange. It's like a weird tone to take in it. Recognizing a Palestinian state is not a victory for Hamas. It points to a way out of a bleak and hopeless reality that empowers Hamas. Hamas started this war. Hamas could end this war. Hamas is evil. And in holding hostages and prolonging this conflict, it continues to be responsible for the suffering of the Palestinian people. That is true. But Israel's conduct of this war has been depraved. Gaza is leveled. At least 18,000 children are dead. Israel is responsible for Gaza's suffering. Two that is also true. And there's a lot of accusations of anti Semitism and there's a lot of anti Semitism, but nothing true is anti Semitic and nothing anti Semitic is true. Which is why Jewish people like me demand Israel do what it can to end that suffering right now. Because we hold Israel to a higher standard than we do a terrorist organization. And if that makes me a conspiracy theorist, fine, because we're all conspiracy theorists now. I do think Justin Trudeau is Castro's kid. That is something I genuinely believe, but so is Katy Perry. All right, we got a great show. We have a fun show coming up. It's Patton Oswald, it's Peppermint. And only the fun news. Only good stories, I promise. We'll be right back.

[Peppermint]

Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up.

[Tom Power]

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[Peppermint]

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[Tom Power]

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[Peppermint]

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[Tom Power]

And we're back. Please welcome to the stage a duo I'm calling Peppermint Patton, Even though they both begged me not to. It's Peppermint and Patton Oswalt. Wow. What an entrance. Hi. Hi. Good to see you. Hi. Please come in. Patton, so good to see you. Oh, bring it in. Okay. Okay. Okay. Nice to see you. Thanks for being here. Wow. Ow. You look ravishing.

[Patton Oswalt]

Ahem.

[Tom Power]

And you're here as well. Don't be jealous, too, you know, just sort of like a statuesque, stunning, ravishing person. And we're just two short kings, you know?

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, man. We're schlubbing it up, baby.

[Tom Power]

Shlubbing it up.

[Patton Oswalt]

Schlubbing it up. Schlub lovers. Thanksgiving came early.

[I]

Sounds hot.

[Tom Power]

A schlub in every pot doesn't mean anything now. All right, what am I going to say here? I know. So obviously a lot of the news is heavy, but not all of it, because A lot of times. Oh, the summer is also a time where you get a lot of silly stories because, you know, it's a time for what we're calling here summerslop, which is why we're doing a segment we call news it or lose it, Summer slop edition.

[Patton Oswalt]

Summerslop.

[Tom Power]

Oh my gosh, we're in the slop.

[I]

I like it. Been there.

[Patton Oswalt]

That is not how a head connects to a torso. I hate to break this to you, Mr. Lovett, but I'll explain after this.

[Tom Power]

All right, you're.

[Patton Oswalt]

That looks like my failed. My failed audition for the substance or a human centipede.

[I]

What's going on in this picture?

[Tom Power]

Here's how it works. I will announce a pope culture story that makes you say. All right, fine. Okay. And you will tell us, is this story real or is this story fake? Oh, it's as simple as that. Peppermint. I'll start with you. 1. JoJo Siwa debuted her new veneer.

[I]

That's totally fake.

[Tom Power]

No, wait, go ahead.

[I]

Sorry.

[Tom Power]

Her new veneers in a borderline not safe for work photo shoot with big brother boyfriend Chris Hughes.

[Patton Oswalt]

Did you say new veneers?

[Tom Power]

New veneers in her mouth, presumably.

[Patton Oswalt]

Did you hear the Rolling Stones are dropping new veneers today? We're really excited. Let's get down to Tower Records.

[Tom Power]

I want to.

[I]

And this is a photo. I think that is. I think that could be true.

[Tom Power]

It's fake.

[I]

Okay. Damn.

[Tom Power]

This headline, however, is real. And from just last week, Jojo Siwa has Bette Davis eyes for Chris Hughes's testicles. Names them Jimmy and Timmy.

[I]

That's not real.

[Tom Power]

That's real. What? That's Summerslaw. That's Summerslaw.

[Patton Oswalt]

No, no, I'm sorry, That's fake. Cause what did she name the third one?

[I]

Now how about this biktarvy ad?

[Tom Power]

Oh, you don't have Bette Davis eyes for something. That's not how Bette Davis eyes work. You just have them or you don't.

[I]

Bette Davis, she invented being what, queer or what did she say she invented? Like, bisexuality? Whatever.

[Patton Oswalt]

But also Bette Davis, her whole thing. Her eyes were. It was about being aggressively indifferent and judgmental towards someone. That her whole look was. So you don't want someone to have Bette Davis eyes for you. That means you're going, ugh. Not for me. You suck. Do you know what I mean?

[Tom Power]

That's interesting. Well, I picture this.

[Patton Oswalt]

I'd like Lauren Bacall eyes at me, but not Bette Davis eyes.

[I]

We should start the song Play the song Bette Davis Eyes. I'll lip sync it.

[Patton Oswalt]

Ladies and gentlemen, Kim Karnes. Let's bring her out.

[Tom Power]

Have you seen those ads where Lauren Bacall sells decaf coffee in the 70s?

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes.

[Tom Power]

My God, she makes that coffee. I want to fuck that coffee.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, she. In the ad. It looks like she just fucked the coffee and was like, listen, while he's asleep, I just want to let you.

[I]

Know, is that the one? Is she coming from behind a door or something?

[Tom Power]

She does. She filmed a dozen of the fucking things. Oh, yeah? Yeah. She's just always coming around the corner being like, I'm wide fucking awake. I need decaf. But this decaf doesn't taste like dog shit. But she has a beautiful mid Atlantic accent. She does the end of that Mid Atlantic accent. Patton, over to you. Nancy Pelosi danced with her fellow little monsters at Lady Gaga's San Francisco show.

[Patton Oswalt]

Wait, come on.

[Tom Power]

Nancy Pelosi danced with her fellow little monsters at Lady Gaga's San Francisco show.

[Patton Oswalt]

Real. I think it's real.

[Tom Power]

It is real.

[I]

These softballs.

[Patton Oswalt]

I didn't. I didn't know that.

[Tom Power]

I believe we have a video. No, that's not her. Oh, there she is.

[Patton Oswalt]

Well, she's being very careful with that hip.

[Tom Power]

She's just dance.

[I]

She's dancing.

[Tom Power]

Buy, sell, buy, sell. Peppermint. Yes. Steve Jobs daughter, Eve Jobs, snuck into her own wedding through a secret door. Steve Jobs daughter Eve, snuck into her own wedding through a secret door. Real or fake.

[I]

Into her own wedding while she was getting married through a secret, secret door.

[Tom Power]

Into her own wedding.

[Patton Oswalt]

No, he named his daughter a name that rhymed with his. Wait till I tell my daughter Fatten. Because that was the thing I was just making fun of.

[Tom Power]

Fatten.

[I]

Fatten. I think if she. Okay, yeah. I'm gonna say it's true if it was an entrance.

[Tom Power]

You got it.

[I]

Okay, work.

[Tom Power]

She sneaked into her UK wedding to Olympic equestrian Harry Charles to avoid paparazzi who can't get enough of that. I know the press is clamoring for Eve Jobs news.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. Now son wants some pics of Eve Jobs. Get down there.

[Tom Power]

Oh.

[Patton Oswalt]

That's the worst accent I could have done. Holy moly. As it left my skull, I wanted to. I wanted to punch my own mouth to stop it coming out.

[Tom Power]

I should just say that Patn is. Has a chimney sweep.

[Patton Oswalt]

Exactly.

[Tom Power]

And a little hat.

[Patton Oswalt]

Hello, Governor. Let's go get a couple of doggero types of Eve Jobs. Not as good as a wink. Jesus. Sorry.

[Tom Power]

No, I thought I liked it. Now, Peppermint I saw photos of you in the second season of Survival of the Thickest, which is on Netflix, and I thought they were your actual wedding photos. Can we see them?

[Patton Oswalt]

Whoa.

[Tom Power]

Did anyone call you thinking they were real? Yes.

[Patton Oswalt]

Were they pissed?

[I]

I was like, mom, I would have invited you to my wedding. Yeah, lots of people thought they were.

[Tom Power]

Were real.

[I]

I mean, the photos are real photos, but it's not like, you know, digital or whatever.

[Tom Power]

And. What?

[I]

Yes.

[Tom Power]

How does one judge the thickest? And what happens when you survive?

[I]

You have to see the video from the wedding night.

[Tom Power]

Oh.

[I]

I think it's kind of confusing because my name's Peppermint and I play Peppermint on the show, and so that's why it kind of got confused.

[Tom Power]

Oh, people thought it was. Oh, people didn't realize it was, like, a scripted show.

[I]

Yeah. Which is like, watch the fucking show, y'.

[Tom Power]

All. Yeah.

[I]

They let me know very quickly who was a supporter and who wasn't. Darling. Again, Mom.

[Tom Power]

She's gotta watch. Now you're also in an all trans and 9. Bon airy performance of the Drowsy Chaperone at Carnegie Hall.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, me too.

[Kendra James]

Come on.

[Tom Power]

I was like, oh, that's cool. Wait, you're not. You're not. I thought maybe you were coming out.

[I]

Hey, drumroll, please.

[Patton Oswalt]

I would not come out with dressed as this. My God. I'd have a little something.

[Tom Power]

Go back in.

[I]

Go back in.

[Tom Power]

Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

I look like the guy that built the closet. I don't look like the guy coming out of it.

[Tom Power]

You could come out as a lesbian who's given up.

[Patton Oswalt]

There you go.

[Tom Power]

Hey.

[Patton Oswalt]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Tom Power]

Yeah.

[I]

Touche.

[Patton Oswalt]

Ever since the pit bull died, I just can't. Sorry, I'm blowing up your spot. Carnegie Hall.

[Tom Power]

Carnegie Hall.

[Kendra James]

Yes.

[I]

Don't be so jealous, Pat. And yes. Carnegie Hall. My first time performing there. I'd be very excited to do so with a fabulous cast starring Laverne Cox.

[Tom Power]

Cool. They say you get there with practice.

[I]

Okay. I was more interested in the accent. What was it? Who was it? I'm sorry, I don't know.

[Tom Power]

I don't know what accent that was. That was scamp.

[Patton Oswalt]

Hang on. It's a musical.

[I]

It's a musical, so.

[Patton Oswalt]

But the acoustics in Carnegie hall are incredible. Do you need to adjust? Obviously you've been rehearsing. Did people have to adjust their singing? Or maybe not. Maybe you're gonna go out and just wing it.

[I]

We're just gonna see what happens.

[Patton Oswalt]

There you go, man. I love it.

[I]

I mean, have you seen the world lately? Who gives A fuck.

[Tom Power]

You can also get there without practice. So there's two ways to get there. Patton. JD Vance defended Sydney Sweeney from critics of her American Eagle Good Genes campaign. Tweeting, the left is just jealous because their skinny jeans are all baggy and stretched out. Buying five pairs for Usha right now.

[Patton Oswalt]

What a bitchy eighth grader he is. What? How? First off, I don't know why. I can't believe we're in 2025. Ads for blue jeans and donuts are flirting with eugenics. Like, I.

[I]

Wait, what's the donut one?

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, you haven't seen the Dunkin Donuts one?

[Tom Power]

Oh, Lord.

[Patton Oswalt]

The guy comes out, he's like, I have this summer glow about me now. Some people say it's my genetics. And that. Yeah, it's a Dunkin Donuts ad that invokes genetics.

[I]

Is he, like, Aryan?

[Patton Oswalt]

No, he's like, he's very kind of Mediterranean looking. Like, I have this, but it's still about. I have strong genes. And that is. And that's. And enjoy your Dunkin Donuts. Like, I don't know what.

[Tom Power]

Maybe.

[Patton Oswalt]

Maybe, like, listen, maybe Adolf Hitler just needed a little bit of vocal fry and some nice tits. He really could have gone a little farther, you know? Listen, anything that. Like with. With J.D. vance and Trump, it's just. You're just looking at eighth graders. Just. That's the mentality you're looking at. And they're just. They're there to sell merch. He's trying to sell merch.

[Tom Power]

Now, here's the thing. J.D. vance didn't actually make that post, but the official White House account.

[I]

Lies and deceits. Wait, lies and deceit Posted.

[Tom Power]

This warped, moronic, and dense liberal thinking is a big reason why Americans voted the way they did in 2024. They're tired of this bullshit. The bullshit is the saying that the Sydney Sweeney ad is bad. They're saying that the White House is taking Sydney Sweeney's side.

[Patton Oswalt]

No one is.

[Tom Power]

The White House is taking Sweeney on this one.

[Patton Oswalt]

No one is saying that the ad is evil. They're saying it's fucking lame. There's two different things. They just want something to be pissed off about. That's the only way. The only oxygen they breathe is being pissed off about something.

[Tom Power]

Yes, that's it. I think that's right. I think that's right. And she. You know, it just seemed like it was probably mostly about a pun on the word jeans.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, that's all it was.

[Tom Power]

That's probably. I don't think they started by Being like, these are genes for the fatherland.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes, exactly.

[Tom Power]

Or they weren't doing it.

[Patton Oswalt]

They weren't doing, like, will. The people that know will get the message. No, it was just some. It wasn't some copy going. Can we make this 14 words long, wink, wink. No, they were just doing it. Wait a minute.

[I]

Did you see the thing from the. But the. I don't know who. The people who. Like the marketing agency that. The conversation between Sydney's team and the marketing agency. Did you see that?

[Tom Power]

No.

[I]

So when he did, and he was like. I guess it was a person recounting what happened on their Zoom meeting when they were, like, booking it, and they were like, well, Sydney, like, how far do you want to push it? And she was like, let's go all the way, baby.

[Tom Power]

So. Well, I don't think. I don't think she meant all the way to Nazism. All the way. I think she probably meant maximum hotness.

[Patton Oswalt]

And. And how. And also.

[Tom Power]

No.

[I]

Have you seen her ass, though? Okay, Sorry.

[Patton Oswalt]

But it's also. If you watch the ad, it's clearly like, how much boob can we get away with showing on this commercial?

[Tom Power]

It's tit.

[I]

It's tit under the.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, there's side boob in the commercial, which we haven't had since the Lauren Bacall Coffee. Coffee ad, strangely enough. Yeah. So we're bringing that back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Power]

Those ads with the coffee. She's wearing. She's wearing full sweaters. So sexual. They should be taken down. Not an inch of skin in sight.

[Patton Oswalt]

We only take the purest coffee beans. The weaker ones are loaded onto trains and taken away to be disposed of. Because we can't have. We can't weaken the strength of the coffee beans. We must. You could enjoy your folgers today, but tomorrow belongs to Sanka.

[Tom Power]

Sanka will reign for 1000 years.

[I]

Whew.

[Tom Power]

Heavy.

[I]

Peppermint coffee. Yes.

[Tom Power]

Online weirdos are trying to drum up controversy over Pedro Pascal being physically affectionate with his Fantastic Four co star, Vanessa Kirby. Real or fake?

[I]

That's real.

[Tom Power]

It is real.

[Patton Oswalt]

That's real. And also, she's the one doing all the effects. He's not. She's all over him. She is. And by the way, why wouldn't you be?

[Kendra James]

It's Pedro Pascal.

[Tom Power]

It's Pedro Pascal.

[I]

I'd be on show, though.

[Tom Power]

Oh, it's the Fantastic Four.

[I]

Fantastic. For the movie.

[Tom Power]

Yeah. What the hell?

[I]

Okay.

[Tom Power]

I haven't seen the film. Is he the stretchy one?

[I]

Yeah, he is Dr. Something, right?

[Patton Oswalt]

Excuse me. He plays Mr. Fantastic, the original Fantastic Four. It's Reed Richards, Sue Storm, her brother Johnny Storm, and Ben Grimm. Now they. This is the first issue. Just give me. How long is this podcast?

[Tom Power]

It's. You take your time.

[Patton Oswalt]

Okay.

[Tom Power]

So.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[I]

Oh, but that's from the actual movie.

[Tom Power]

No, that's.

[I]

Is there a baby in there?

[Patton Oswalt]

Baby in the movie.

[I]

And she's pregnant in real life.

[Tom Power]

If you get pregnant in the movie, you have a baby in real life.

[I]

Mom, I did get married.

[Tom Power]

Patton, one final question on the topic of. Yes, Dr. Fantastic.

[Patton Oswalt]

Missed. Oh, my God.

[Tom Power]

He's not even a doctor.

[Patton Oswalt]

You are turning me into a Trump voter.

[Tom Power]

Does he have a. Go ahead. Does he not have a PhD or anything?

[Patton Oswalt]

Huh?

[Tom Power]

He doesn't have a PhD or anything.

[Patton Oswalt]

He has a PhD, but he calls himself Mr. Fantastic.

[Tom Power]

Well, that's cool. Very down to earth. I like that.

[Patton Oswalt]

Very down to earth.

[Tom Power]

I know. But, you know, when all these PhDs call themselves humble.

[Patton Oswalt]

That's why he calls himself Mr. Fantastic, not Dr. Fantastic. He's humble.

[Tom Power]

There was a show on in the 90s that was basically a Knight Rider on a boat.

[Patton Oswalt]

Friends. Yeah, I saw it.

[Tom Power]

And the show had a kind of a dramatic challenge, which is something the boat you had to have the final conflict needed to be at the dock or by the bay. You really have to come up with. It's hard to come up with reasons. You need a stretchy man all the time.

[I]

Not that hard.

[Patton Oswalt]

I defer what Peppermint said.

[Tom Power]

Exactly.

[Patton Oswalt]

Thank you.

[I]

Did the show end at the dock of the bay or the sound?

[Tom Power]

I did. I don't really remember. I would always try to find Knight Rider.

[Patton Oswalt]

Let's sell this cocaine. At the end of the pier near Crimeboat.

[Tom Power]

Knight Rider was cool because it was a car. It could go more places.

[Patton Oswalt]

Pretty cool.

[Tom Power]

And the car was just. AI.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, it.

[Kendra James]

Huh?

[I]

Kit, it was AI.

[Tom Power]

It wasn't a person in there.

[Patton Oswalt]

Sort of. Oh, I. I thought that they. I just assumed they put the. The butler, the. The guy from Magnum PI under the hood. And he just talked to Hasselhoff the whole time.

[Tom Power]

I don't know the made it, but I do think that it was Mr. Fink. Mr. It was the. Who is the teacher in boy meets world. Mr. Feeny was the voice of Knight Rider.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, it was Mr. Feeney, I think in real life. Wasn't it also car. Is it the guy who played Higgins on Magnum PI Wasn't he also the voice?

[Tom Power]

Was he also Higgins?

[Patton Oswalt]

I'm mixing up. Never mind.

[Tom Power]

Got him. Got him.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. Higgins was under the Hood of the General Lee. But they didn't let him talk. And he was under there for other reasons. We're not gonna go into right now.

[Tom Power]

Patton. Dean Cain called the new Superman film Woke over its bimbo Supergirl, and badly trained crypto. Said, cain, liberals cannot train their dogs. True or false.

[Patton Oswalt]

Wait a minute. His whole issue with the movie was that Superman didn't adequately teach his taco Petey.

[Tom Power]

It seems like it could be true, but is it?

[Patton Oswalt]

I know he's been running his neck about that movie. I don't think that was one of his complaints.

[Tom Power]

You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. He did wonder aloud, how woke is Hollywood gonna make this character? And I think it was a mistake by James Gunn to say it's an immigrant thing. Superman's an immigrant. Face it, it's a fucking fact. A Jewish immigrant.

[I]

Okay, somebody send him some donuts and jeans.

[Tom Power]

Patton, I'm glad you're here.

[Patton Oswalt]

Why does the whale have to be white? Sorry.

[Tom Power]

Patton.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[Tom Power]

I have been reminded often of an essay you wrote for Wired magazine in the year 2010 called Wake Up, Geek, Time to Die. I really recommend people go back and read this essay because you could not have known how right this essay from 2010 was going to be. Do you remember writing this?

[Patton Oswalt]

I very much remember writing it and struggling with it with the editors and going back and forth about. I just thought that I just. I could. I could feel, and only because I know this world. Once I saw that the special effects were at the point where they could basically do anything that was in comics. And once I saw the money that Iron man made, I could sense the, oh, this is going to spread like a virus and then collapse in on itself, which is what has happened. Which that's what we're seeing happen right now.

[Tom Power]

And in the essay, you write about the fact that we were heading towards a future where. Because even things that once took kind of nerdy enthusiasm to find would be available to everyone, that slowly but surely everything would become a remix. And suddenly you'd see all kinds of characters stuck together and in all kinds of genres suddenly mixed. And then all of a sudden, you have ChatGPT, and all of these AI programs have. People are making this. Like, there's. I think Amazon has just announced that they're planning to do some kind of a streaming service where you can just ask it to make what you want it to make for you.

[Patton Oswalt]

Dear God. It is at this point where we have lost the thrill of the search. And also the thrill of the waiting. It used to be a thrill to wait for someone creative to drop something you had never heard before. Now it's like, if I had this idea, it should happen right now. By the way, I have all kinds of first draft ideas that suck and shouldn't come to light. That's why you rework something until it's good. But now. And by the way, this, what you just described is happening on every level of society. There's cookies now where the cookie is, but it's got pretzels in it and potato chips and gummy worm bits. It's like, why choose between eight snacks? We just crammed them all together and you can just have them like it's. We're.

[Tom Power]

You are losing me.

[I]

Don't nobody say nothing about my everything.

[Tom Power]

Cookie.

[I]

Yeah, okay. That's the only thing I have left.

[Patton Oswalt]

I'm just saying we are drifting into this realm of the eternal first drafts.

[Tom Power]

Oh, wow.

[Patton Oswalt]

The first draft idea. And you can just immediately spit it out.

[Tom Power]

But speaking of not doing that and working on something until it's good. Your new audio special is today's version of a comedy album. When does it come out? Is it out right now? Did it just come out?

[Patton Oswalt]

It will come out in a few more. We'll announce the date in a few weeks. But I recorded a comedy album. You can listen to it on Spotify or on your thing. It's not a visual thing. It is. You can walk around listening to it. That's the way I experienced albums. And if this is a cranky old man thing to do, I don't care. I'm doing it.

[Tom Power]

I don't care either. I'm glad you're doing it because I like. Like, I remember finding the old Bob Newhart records.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Power]

And I remember listening to your albums as albums when I was growing up and an adult. And I love them. And they were audio. It's always been great to have albums as audio.

[Patton Oswalt]

I love listening to albums, especially a comedy album, because the crowd starts to take on a personality. You begin to recognize someone's laugh, and you're like, that person really dug this way more than anyone else in the audience. I wonder what that person's story is, why they connect this so much. Like, especially if you listen to Jonathan Winter's old albums, there are jokes. Some jokes he does, the whole audience laughs. Other jokes he'll do. And you'll hear like two or three people losing their minds. Like, oh, my God, I got what he's talking about. No, One else does. And that's also part of the thrill.

[Tom Power]

And that's sometimes the. You've, like, you'll tell if you have a joke and it works for just. It's worth it. It was worth it. Yes, it was worth it. Because if that person got it the right amount, that's a good feeling.

[Patton Oswalt]

Okay. There's a moment in the Last Jedi, the Rian Johnson's Star wars film, where he does a visual reference to the most obscure bit of Star wars lore. I can't believe he got it into the movie. But there was a little parody film that was made back in the day called Hardware wars that I don't know if anyone knows what hardware was. It was this little short film that got really, really popular. It was a parody of Star wars where, like, the spaceships were irons flying around. So there is a shot in the Last Jedi where it's a machine that is ironing the Imperial uniforms, But the first shot is the iron against, like, this black background. Like, it looks like it's flying through space. And I'm in the. Oh, my God. Where did they used to do the Oscars? Downtown? The Dorothy Chandler Pavilion. I was at the premiere, and the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion is packed. And when that scene happened, me, one guy way down there and one guy way up in the balcony were like, ah. Like, you could hear us, like, getting the reference. It was such an amazing moment that that happened. Just imagine this giant space, and it's actually quiet, but you hear this going.

[I]

Ah, that's that thing.

[Tom Power]

Like, I went to the premiere for the third one, and the head of the studio came out and said, well, they've made a dynamic film. And I was like, oh, no, this is gonna be rough. And it was that everybody walked out in silence.

[Patton Oswalt]

That's the equivalent of, like, when your friend's band. If you're in a band and you come off stage and your friend's like, you guys look like you're having a lot of fun up there, man. You guys were having fun. That looked fun. You guys were really enjoying yourselves. Like, that's when you know it's not good.

[Tom Power]

And if you want to have fun, you can check out Patton's audio special, Black Coffee and Ice Water on audible in November. November 20th. And you can catch Peppermint in Survival of the Thickest on Netflix, her documentary A Deeper Love, and in her upcoming performance of the Drowsy Chaperone at Carnegie Hall.

[Patton Oswalt]

At Carnegie Hall. Wow.

[Tom Power]

Next up, it's Ashley Nicole Black and Alice Wetterland.

[Peppermint]

Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up.

[John Lovett]

Love it or Leave it is brought.

[Tom Power]

To you by civetech. Are you frustrated with the state of politics right now?

[John Lovett]

Looking for a way to make an impact without getting tear gassed or arrested?

[Tom Power]

Or why not both? Civitech can help. There are over 50,000 local elections this.

[John Lovett]

Year all across the country. These races are being handed to Maga Republicans. Civitek has identified millions of unregistered, likely Democratic and progressive voters who could make the difference this year and in next year's midterm.

[Tom Power]

Civetek is the secret weapon for progressive.

[John Lovett]

Campaigns, advocacy groups, nonprofits, and individuals looking.

[Tom Power]

To drive real change.

[John Lovett]

If you're trying to register and turn.

[Tom Power]

Out progressive voters, look no further. Sivitek's peer reviewed approach is scientifically proven.

[John Lovett]

To be the most effective and cost effective way to do it.

[Tom Power]

Whether you want to register a few voters or tens of thousands, Civetech can help. And look, there's a lot of things we're gonna have to do to start winning elections instead of. What's the word? Losing them. But don't want to lose.

[Peppermint]

Winning is better than losing. Take it from us, the pros.

[Tom Power]

Yeah. Hey, we've won about. We win about a third of the time. And it's better in baseball. It'll be a very good hitter, but a very bad team. The point is, we've got to get more people to turn out. And Civitech is one really important way to do that. Visit civitech IO Love it.

[John Lovett]

To learn more, that's C I V.

[Tom Power]

I T E C H dot A.

[John Lovett]

Start registering Democrats and help move the needle this election cycle.

[Peppermint]

Sometimes an identity threat is a ring of professional hackers. And sometimes it's an overworked accountant who forgot to encrypt their connection while sending bank details.

[Patton Oswalt]

I need a coffee.

[Peppermint]

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[Tom Power]

And we're back. Please put your hands together for the amazing Ashley Nicole Black and the astounding Alice Waterland. Hi. Welcome. Welcome. Hello. Hello. Hi. Hi.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Hi.

[Tom Power]

Good to see you again.

[Kendra James]

You too.

[Tom Power]

Ashley, you were a longtime correspondent for Full Frontal with Sambi. It's not a great moment for late night.

[Kendra James]

Yeah, 15 people remember it.

[Tom Power]

The late show was canceled. What was your reaction to that?

[Kendra James]

I mean, instantly. Cause, you know, obviously I'm like, in the community, so we heard about it minutes before you did. And I was instantly like, something's not right. Because I know the show is good and I know the ratings are good, and I know what it costs to make a late night show, which is roughly three pieces of popcorn and like a Diet Coke if your boss is fancy. So it's like, something's not adding up. And then, of course, like, the news comes out and you're like, oh, it isn't. It isn't adding up. And what was, I'll say, silver lining about it? Is it? This has actually been happening for a while. Shows getting canceled for, like, weird political reasons, but they always come out and they go, it was about money. And then everybody goes, it was about money. Thanks, CEO for telling us what it was about. And then, like, us weirdo artists were like, it wasn't about money, guys. That's not what it is. There's a weird political thing happening. And so this one, I think, because the show got canceled so soon after Steven said the thing, you just, like, couldn't deny that something strange had happened. So it's almost like the first time everyone was like, that is weird. Which was exciting for me, a person who always sees the weird.

[Tom Power]

Alice, what do you think?

[Ashley Nicole Black]

I'm gonna disagree because it is about money. I mean, my show was just canceled. Like, you saw it.

[Tom Power]

Are you putting it in quotes because it wasn't canceled?

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Yes, I am putting it in quotes because it wasn't. So we wrote an ending to our series that we were all really proud of.

[Tom Power]

This is Resident Alien.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Resident Alien coming to your TV when no one knows. That's part of the problem. Our show, we wrote an ending because we were sick of them nickel and diming us on everything. And we were making the show for less and less money each season. And we were like, let's get out of here. If they want to pick us up, they have to spend this amount of money. Otherwise we're out. And we wrote an ending. We were all proud of it. We all got to say goodbye to our show. And then they were like, we went to Comic Con and they were like, we're going to tell everybody that it's ending this season so that you can promote the show. And then this article came out. It was like, resident Alien canceled. Like, well, is that really what happened? Or did. It's sort of like, you know, like, don't tell anybody about the breakup. I Think we should roll it out together? It's like she got dumped. Like, that's not what we talked about.

[Kendra James]

She didn't break up with me. I broke up with her.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Yeah.

[Tom Power]

That's so interesting.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

It's so interesting.

[Tom Power]

Why would they do that?

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Because the company that we work for, and I don't know what it is, so I can't name names. They're the kind of company that they'll call you and they'll be like, hey, I just wanted to make sure. Do you have everything you need? Cause we want to make sure you don't. That kind of thing where it's almost like they do it for sport, to make our lives worse. And that's why I say it is about money, too. We didn't get canceled for political reasons, except for the political reason that the machine that we all make, this stuff within has become a money making endeavor for shareholders that it's not supposed to be. It was never about telling stories on TV and movies, was never about making money for shareholders. It was like, some people got rich, but now it's about David Zaslav making $250 million while the writers, they beg for $10 million over three years. It's like there's people whose whole job it is to squeeze money out of a thing that was never supposed to make money. That kind of money, you know, and now we're fucked.

[Tom Power]

Yeah. It was like Hollywood was built to make people like, hey, check out my boat money. And then it was like, wow, if you're really good at Hollywood, you get boat money.

[Alice Wetterlund]

Yeah.

[Tom Power]

And if you're really good at it, you get to be like a highfalutin, like, you know, Robert Evans type. You know, this kid stays in the picture, everybody in the hot tub kind of a thing. Yeah. And it wasn't supposed to be NASDAQ money.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

No.

[Tom Power]

You know, but then it's like, actually with Iron man, there's NASDAQ money in it. And it was like, NASDAQ money. Holy fuck. Fuck. Let's get some of that NASDAQ money. I don't think sketch comedy is going to make us that NASDAQ money. I don't know if this little show about. About a kind of befuddled alien is gonna make us NASDAQ money. I don't know if these sketches by black women are gonna make us nasdaq.

[Kendra James]

Certainly it's not. It's also, though, like, the. The boat money. Money has become removed from labor. Right. So even the. The people who are making a ton of money and you're like, that person's making too much money to like look hot in a movie. And she still had to show up to work and look hot in the movie. You know what I mean? Like, she clocked in. Even the execs who were like green lighting pictures or giving writers notes or whatever, they clock in, they do a job. And in exchange for that, they got their boat and cocaine money. And even if you think it's too much money, it was in exchange for labor. Now money is flowing out and it's not going to labor and it's not going to promo and it's not going to buying props and drugs anymore. It's going elsewhere.

[Tom Power]

We had an idea for doing something on this show that would involved like a candy glass vase. Remember that? And we didn't do it because it was like, this is stupid. And you thought of it 15 minutes for the show, you dumb idiot. But at like 4:30 on the day of the show, we like called around and one of the places that does props in LA was closed. And I called and I was like, oh, I missed them. They closed. And then the guy called me back and is like, hey, we just missed a call from you. And I was like, oh, I was thinking about doing this. And he was like, well, you could do it with this, you could do it with that. He was like, so excited. Cause he was like, I love props. I'm a prop guy. I got all kinds of props. You need glass. I got vases, I got cups. It was nice. It was like, oh, right. This town used to fucking make shit.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

It used to. And now it doesn't. Because they make things in Atlanta and Vancouver. Our show Resident Alien had a we rated in the Nielsen ratings. We were in the top 10 in Nielsen for our third season. And they came back and told us we weren't making them. It's not profitable. And it's like, yeah, it's not profitable if you want to rent Capri for your wedding. But if you just want a boat and some cocaine, which is what you should want, you fucking monster. And that thing is 824. After the writers strike, after the actors strike, they were just like, what are your demands? Okay, we'll meet them. Okay, you want to make these movies? Okay, we'll make them. And we'll get on our boats with our cocaine later. And no one hates us. So the model exists, right?

[Kendra James]

I might change my LLC name to boat and Cocaine Production.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

I think that's what we're.

[Kendra James]

Because I will tell you, like, all of My friends who are comedy writers, we. We are just trying to make boat and cocaine shows. Like I was telling you backstage, I go home every single time I go home, whether it's once a month, three times a week. When I arrive at my mother's house, my family is watching Martin. You would think Martin was being produced today. They're watching Martin. Okay? You could not convince a studio in Los Angeles to make a show like Martin, which is one set. A bunch of actors who weren't super famous at the time. Boat and cocaine budget TV show. People are watching them. We have the data of what people are watching on streaming. We know they're watching them, but they won't make them. They only want to make giant, expensive stuff.

[Tom Power]

It's a genuine. It's an actual mania. There's nothing inherent to streaming. Happy Gilmore 2 is out. I haven't seen Happy Gilmore 2. I'm sure it's not good, but I haven't seen it. Maybe it's great. I should be less pessimistic. But it's like, oh, wow, they made Happy Gilmore 2. That makes sense. Everybody loves Happy Gilmore. Think about a world before Happy Gilmore. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

No, I'm with that.

[Tom Power]

I think there's a world without Happy Gilmore. And someone said, I think there can be a world with Happy Gilmore in it. Like the 90s. This was an era of boat and cocaine shows and boat and cocaine movies. There are multiple movies where witches cast spells on Jim Carrey. And it's like, you can no longer do lies. You now have to say, yes, there's a mask on your face. Can't get it off. Billions. Billion. Ashley. I understand you're writing Ma, too.

[Kendra James]

Yes.

[Tom Power]

Nice.

[Kendra James]

Yes, I am.

[Tom Power]

That's cool. I think we have a picture of Ma. Ma. Ma. Ma. Is that what it's called? Ma. Ma.

[Kendra James]

A lot. A lot of great names were suggested on the Internet, and I'm gonna have to, like, comb through them.

[Tom Power]

Oh, we're not calling it Ma. Ma.

[Kendra James]

No.

[Tom Power]

I thought of a good name for Ratatouille 2 for Patton, which is Ratatouille.

[Kendra James]

Yeah.

[Tom Power]

And then I thought of an even better name for the sequel of ratatouille 2. Ratatouille 3. Why'd I do this with Patton on here? All right.

[Kendra James]

And then Ratatouille 4. Tokyo Drift.

[Tom Power]

Yeah.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Three rats and a little lady.

[Tom Power]

A rat could never make sushi. Speaking of free speech.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Sure, sure.

[Tom Power]

We all have things we wish we could say but dare not speak aloud. Like how Paramount and Skydance have all kinds of things they can't say anymore. Yep. You know, like them. Ashley used to host an advice podcast called Sip on this. Alice, you're funny.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

I have podcasts as well, but.

[Tom Power]

And you do? About Star Trek. I've been on it.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Yeah.

[Tom Power]

Treks in the City. Yeah.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Oh.

[Tom Power]

Thank you. We watch episodes that talk about them.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

We do.

[Tom Power]

Tonight, we invite you in attendance to share something you want to tell your co worker, your spouse, your neighbor, your co conspirator. We'll weigh in whether or not you should speak your truth or sense yourself. Okay. So if you have something you're not sure whether or not you should speak the truth about, raise your hand and we'll take a couple and see what we think in a segment called First Amendment. Second thoughts.

[Kendra James]

Wow. Thank you for using a good picture.

[Tom Power]

That's cool. Hi.

[Alice Wetterlund]

Hi.

[Tom Power]

What do you want to tell somebody?

[Alice Wetterlund]

So my former director, I just got a new director and he brags about how great the team is and they're not. And my old director has a team that is great and she doesn't brag about them. So I'm wondering if I should tell her she needs to be more confident and talk up her team or just keep my head down.

[Kendra James]

That's not the question. I thought you were going to say.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

I didn't either think that. I thought you were going to say, should I tell this new guy? You know, you don't need to say it if it's true.

[Tom Power]

Why wouldn't you?

[Alice Wetterlund]

Because she kind of has a history of like, if you piss her off, she goes for you.

[Tom Power]

And what kind of director? Like, of film?

[John Lovett]

Of marketing?

[Alice Wetterlund]

No, director of like business stuff.

[Tom Power]

Business director.

[Kendra James]

A director of business stuff.

[Tom Power]

Yeah.

[Kendra James]

So we're talking about a lean in queen here. I got it. I'm going to just. Spoiler alert. I'm always team. Say it. That's why I single.

[Alice Wetterlund]

You know what? I'm the same way.

[Kendra James]

So I was going, I would say, you should tell her because we should always tell women to big up themselves. Like, I think that every woman should be bragging on herself 300 times more than she is. Just like, has a blanket. It's just true. Like, before I did this, I was getting a PhD at Northwestern and I would get into cabs and every single time I got in a cab and the cab driver would be like, what do you do? And I'd be like, oh, I'm a PhD candidate. Northwestern. Every single time they'd go, I could do that. The fuck I was doing it. And I Didn't think I could do it. I was in a cold sweat every day for four years. So in general, I'm like, every woman should be telling every other woman, like, bitch, talk your shit. However, you said she's not nice to you so she can figure her shit out. I'm not team business, lady. But I do think you should tell the boss who does brag that his team sucks. I think we should be telling people they suck more.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

There's nothing I like that worse than.

[Kendra James]

Watching someone walk around thinking they're good at something and we are all doing a disservice to them. This is not an opportunity in your hands to tell me what I'm bad at.

[Tom Power]

I'm right here.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

You should tell him.

[Kendra James]

But I think it sucks at work like, that. Everyone will, like, look around and make eyes at each other and snicker and laugh, and no one, hopefully, their boss will just say, like, hey, maybe you could try this. I think we should tell people when they're back.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

But it might be hard for her at work if she says something like that.

[Kendra James]

No, it will be my lady.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

I was thinking for this specific thing, maybe I could tell them I'm free right now. My show got canceled, and I. It's like a singing telegram type thing. First one's free.

[Tom Power]

All right, that was good advice. Let's see, we got a question over here. What's the truth? You dare not speak.

[Kendra James]

All right, so I'm in a community that's a whole bunch of queer women and a few token straight women, one of whom repeatedly refers to her friend as her girlfriend. Do I just let it lie, or do I say something like, girl, what are you doing in this space talking like that? Can I ask a follow up? Yeah. Is the girl who's saying girlfriend black? No. Okay. It's a white lady. That changes. A straight white lady.

[Tom Power]

I'm just. I want to live in a world where this was a question about you saying, can I tell a black woman to stop saying girlfriend?

[Kendra James]

Oh, my God, no. That's why I had to check.

[Tom Power]

I mean, it would have been awesome. God, what a. What a moment that would have been. Wow.

[Kendra James]

I'm not an. I swear.

[Tom Power]

I'll tell you what my honest reaction is, is who? Nobody's. People say girlfriend. What are you got? You got. You're the word police now. That's our word. Girlfriend. We took it back from who?

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Because it's confusing, I think for people that enter the space, they're like, oh, yeah.

[Tom Power]

Oh, is it a big problem? People think she's fucking that girlfriend.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Is she?

[Tom Power]

What if she is? What if she's not?

[Kendra James]

I mean, maybe she is.

[Tom Power]

So there you go.

[Kendra James]

You go answer. Problem solved. I think the problem is just that there aren't enough words because it is once you pass 35, girlfriend is tough. Like, that's your woman friend. And I do call my friends my girlfriend. And I think we need. We just need more words. We need words for adults who are dating. We need words for adults who are gonna date forever and never get married. Like, we just need a lot more words.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Blue sky. Pitch friend.

[Tom Power]

Whoa.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

I don't know. Maybe it might work. I don't know. Is that crazy?

[Tom Power]

Yeah, we do need more words. Boyfriend, girlfriend, Partner. That stinks.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

I call my partner my sweetie.

[Kendra James]

That's cute.

[Tom Power]

Yuck. All right, let's do one more. So my girlfriend, her ex of 6.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Years has been in town and the musician he or artist he was playing.

[Kendra James]

For asked if he could stay at our home. And I, we both were kindly said yes and prepared the space for him.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

And he didn't show up. And I really just want to confront.

[Tom Power]

Him and say, you're pussy.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Okay, okay. So I know this person. So actually, and this is. I can't say to your boss, but I can tell that guy. And I heard about this from my sweetie. So this is my sister in law's girlfriend talking now. And I know this ex and I get to tell him. Okay, thank God. I get to tell him that was fucked up. I've been waiting for something to tell. I've been waiting for something to come up where I could get nail this guy. And this is it. Happy ending.

[Kendra James]

I. I have to disagree. I. I think you thank this man. There's nothing someone can do better for you than not show up again.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

That's true. That's a good point.

[Kendra James]

I do agree you had a reason to clean your house. The house is. Is clean. Go home, put your feet up, Watch Leanne enjoy it. Thank you, sir, for not being in my house. I would like to thank all of you for not being in my house.

[Tom Power]

Yeah. Wow. I never thought of it that way. Having a house guest is right. One fewer house guest is just having no one on earth in your home. Interesting. A lot to think about. All right, thanks everybody for your advice questions. Thank you, Ashley and Alice. Ashley's also writing on shrinking. I am. And you could check out the final season of Resident Alien airing now on Syfy usa. And of course, Peacock. When we're back, it's time for the rant wheel.

[Peppermint]

Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It Or Leave it coming up.

[Tom Power]

Love it or Leave it is brought.

[John Lovett]

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[J]

Hi there, it's Andy Richter and I'm here to tell you about my podcast, the three Questions with Andy Richter. Each week I invite friends, comedians, actors and musicians to discuss these three where do you come from, where are you going, and what have you learned? New episodes are out every Tuesday with guests like Julie Bowe and Ted Danson, Tig Notaro, Will Arnett, Phoebe Bridgers, and more. You can also tune in for my weekly Andy Richter Call in show episodes where me and a special guest invite callers to weigh in on topics like dating, disasters, bad teachers, and lots more. Listen to the three Questions with Andy Richter wherever you get your podcasts.

[Tom Power]

And we're back. Before we get to the rant, we have some news to share. Crooked Media and Vote Save America are hosting our first ever Crooked Con. Crooked Con. Come on, it's cool. It's a chance to join America's smartest organizers and least annoying politicians to strategize, debate, commiserate about where we go from here, which is hopefully up. We will be in Washington D.C. november 6th and 7th, and it's going to be great. Starting with a Pod Save America show live at the Warner's Theater on November 6th. Then on Friday, November 7th, we'll be at the Wharf, joined by some of the most influential names in politics for a day of conversations, workshops, live pods, as we all figure out how to build the big pro democracy movement. We need to defeat rising authoritarianism before or maybe after it's too late. We have talked about doing Crooked Con for a very long time. We're finally doing it. Very proud of the team that's been putting together what is going to be an amazing event. We have some very exciting people that we'll be announcing soon who are participating. It's taken a lot to get to the point where Crooked is able to put together something like this. We've always said we believe we need to help build a coalition that runs from the anti Trump pro democracy center right all the way to the far left. The most important thing we can do is remember that even when we disagree and even when we don't even see each other always in the best light, that we are ultimately on the same team. And that starts by coming together and starting to talk through some of the ways we have to rebuild a progressive movement that can take on Trump and defeat MAGA and help give people an image and an idea of something better. And so we're excited that. Look, we said right from the very beginning that we started Crooked because we didn't think we had all the answers and nobody did. But we wanted to build a place where people could come and bring what they knew and that nobody would have all the solutions but we'd figured out together. And so CrookedCon is sort of an evolution of that. So go to crookedcon.com for tickets. Crookedcon.com we have a discount code that you can use to buy your November 7th ticket early. It's freedom and content. Freedom and content. Because the slogan of our conference is freedom and content for all. Freedom and content. Discounted tickets are limited. Crookedcon.com thank you.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Okay, CrookedCon.

[Kendra James]

That sounds so cool. CrookedCon. And I'm also picturing there's like all these incredible pro democracy things and then there's like one old timey crook with the like mask on at a little Table being like, oh, no, I should have Googled it.

[Tom Power]

Yeah.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

I'm gonna cosplay as Tommy.

[Tom Power]

Nice.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

I'm gonna go cosplay as Tommy.

[Tom Power]

That's so sweet. Yeah. We got the Hamburglar doing a panel with Andy Beshear. Please welcome back to the stage Patton Oswald and Peppermint. Come over here, Peppermint.

[I]

You can go here.

[Tom Power]

I'll slide over. Patton, welcome back.

[Patton Oswalt]

Thank you for having me back.

[Tom Power]

So the sequel to Ratatouille would be called Ratatouille.

[Patton Oswalt]

I was thinking two Ratatouille.

[Tom Power]

And then the third one is Ratatouille 3.

[Patton Oswalt]

Huh?

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Ratatouille 3.

[Tom Power]

Ratatouille 3. RatATouille 3.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. Hey, I'm up for any sequels they want to do. I may not be happier. I don't know if you know what's been going on in showbiz, but I'm. You know, I will do a. I'll do a. Oh, God, my riff gun just jammed. I was trying to combine two other things that I did, and it absolutely did not work.

[Tom Power]

Rift.

[Patton Oswalt]

You're trying to give me some riff energy.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

No, I'm giving off riff jam.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, you're. Oh, my God.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Getting that.

[Patton Oswalt]

You and your damn riff jams. Wetterland. That's a great name for, like, a police commissioner to scream at a cop, you know? Wetterlund. Get in here.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

I'm gonna pitch that next week.

[Patton Oswalt]

There you go, Wetterlund. With an exclamation point.

[I]

I want some riff jam.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. It's a family show. Please.

[Kendra James]

Drat.

[I]

Hey, I'm a married woman. Okay.

[Patton Oswalt]

All right.

[I]

Okay.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We all saw the trades.

[Tom Power]

When you have a lineup this good, you don't need much. So we're getting back to basics and closing out the show with our beloved rant wheel. We'll spin the wheel, and wherever it lands, we'll each share a rant about one thing bothering us. Now to the Wheel.

[I]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Power]

It is. Landon. Patton. What's some of you? What's something you'd like to rant about?

[Patton Oswalt]

What would I like to rant about? Well, I would like to rant about how Instagram has become a way for my wife to win arguments with me. Half an hour after we have them, we'll argue about some minor domestic thing. Sweetie, could you not leave the sponge in the sink? Put it in the drying rack, because it will grow fungus and. And bacteria. And I say every time I use the sponge, I put hot water and soap on it to wash the dishes. I don't Think it matters? It kills anything on it. And then half an hour later, I get some Instagram video sent to me, some weird, wiry hippie with. And it's like 9,000 edits. Here's the nine reasons your sponge will be killing you like that.

[Tom Power]

I know that guy.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. There. There is. Is any argument you lose. There is an overproduced video that will take your side that you can send to people. And we're losing our ability to close arguments. You know, there is a concerned mom or someone sitting in a car going, here's the four reasons why you should be able to eat crackers in bed. Like, there's no.

[Tom Power]

I hate that dishwasher guy.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[Tom Power]

He's like, are you using your dishwasher? Are you cleaning it every three days? No. You're gonna die, right?

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[Tom Power]

Everybody knows that according to the instructions of a dishwasher, you can't use it.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[Tom Power]

It has to remain untouched. There's no. A dishwasher can never be safely used.

[Patton Oswalt]

And they've also. They've all learned the algorithm. Like, they've got to grab you in three seconds. They're like an apple a day. Keeps a doctor away. I don't think so. They just want you to stop swiping. So that's bothering me.

[Tom Power]

I agree. Thank you for sharing that. That's horrible. I hate that dishwasher guy. It's like your plates are covered in the soap forever. Are you using soap in your dishwasher? You fool. What? You can only use one kind of soap, and it's only on the Costco. But you gotta go very high up. It's not where you can see it. It's up.

[Patton Oswalt]

Bring climbing gear.

[Kendra James]

The longer it takes me, the funnier it will be when you get into a fight with your wife and what she sends you is a video I have personally made telling you you're wrong. I'm gonna bide my time. I'm gonna wait till you've forgotten that this happened.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, wow.

[Tom Power]

I like it.

[Patton Oswalt]

Look, if I wanted to, I could start gaslighting her and sending her videos of people going, here's the five signs of early onset dementia. And then she'd be like, why did you send me this? I'm like, half an hour ago, you told me that you don't remember this. We got in this whole argument. Look at number three on the list. This is the thing he was talking about. I'm just saying, if I wanted to.

[Tom Power]

Really try.

[Patton Oswalt]

But I would it.

[Tom Power]

But he wouldn't really. Turning the tables. Let's Spin it again, Alice. What do you got?

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Okay, so I was at the gym a while ago, and I go all the time. Well, I go all the time. I go all the time.

[I]

Likely story.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Okay, I lift and. And I was at the gym. And do you guys know what ovulation is? Yes, ovulating is.

[Patton Oswalt]

No, I have an Instagram video I can send you.

[Tom Power]

Hang on.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Could you send it so you. Yeah. Okay, so I was at the gym. I was. Ovulating is important to the story. And there was a guy working out next to me. He was wearing Birkenstocks and fuzzy socks. And those people with. He's like a ginger, you know? And those people who ovulate will know that. My next thought, when I saw this guy, I thought immediately, like, who is this fucking Ron Weasley motherfucker lifting way less than me? And what is he doing later? Because that is the secret of ovulation. Ovulation is a time of month when people who have uteruses will just. Whatever's next to us, it's good, and we'll fuck it. And it's a good thing. It's evolution's thing.

[I]

Gosh, I must have a uterus.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Okay, you might. You might. It's just. It happens. And so when I started comedy back in New York, the year that I started it, I was in. There was, like, this stigma about women telling period jokes. It was like, girls are just gonna tell period jokes. And it was so stigmatized that none of the women that I came up with did period jokes. We eliminated the idea of period jokes entirely. And because we didn't get to do our period material, we didn't get to get to our ovulation material. And because we didn't do that, a bunch of comics from New York in about the year that it was didn't get laid because they didn't know. The secret was to just stand there. It's a numbers game. You just hang out next to someone for as long as it takes, and eventually, yeah, that'll work. And so they didn't get laid. And then they started doing material about how women are shitty or whatever because they won't have sex with them. And then they all started podcasts. Cut to Male Loneliness Epidemic. Cut to Trump. So we. If we want to have nice things in our society, we need to deal with our misogyny problem, right? And if we're going to deal with our misogyny problem, we're going to need male podcast hosts to talk about it a lot more than they're Doing straight male podcast hosts. You're in the clear. You're doing the Lord's work over here.

[Tom Power]

Okay, thank you. I did. We try, you know, we try. Appreciate that.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Because men, men listen to other men. That's who they listen to and so do women. Right? So the men who doing the podcast. Because now we're being told we have to welcome Andrew Schultz into the movement. We have to welcome them in. We're gonna welcome him into the movement. The movement that is run by women who those guys dehumanize. Right. So see how that doesn't really make sense? So we're gonna make space for them in the movement. I need the male podcast host to remember that they need to make sure they're not just rubber stamping rape culture. Right. And make sure there's a space for us first and foremost. And how do they do that? They talk about now. I had. It was ovulated. I had a sex dream about Tommy. So he's in the clear for at least a month. Everybody else, I'm watching you, Pfeiffer. I'm watching you, Favreau.

[Tom Power]

Think that was really aimed at them. A lot to think about.

[Patton Oswalt]

So glad I went first.

[Tom Power]

I just can't believe we both had sex dreams about Tommy on the same night. Let's.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

We called each other again.

[Tom Power]

Peppermint, what would you like to rant about?

[I]

Well, you both took my.

[Tom Power]

Stupid people.

[I]

I mean, not just like unintelligent people. I mean like, we are in the middle of all of this, that we're dealing with an epistemicide, the killing of actual knowledge. For some reason, we don't listen to experts anymore on anything. And I just. I didn't think I'd wake up after waking up and going back to sleep and then trying to wake up again and then realize that Trump is actually the president. That we would be in a world where someone like RFK is in charge of Department of Health and Human services and Linda McMahon is running the Department of Education that they're trying to cancel anyway. And now we get people like, you know, children's book authors telling us what trans people should be able to do with our bodies from across an ocean. Yes. Louder. Boo. Exactly. Fuck Harry Potter. And yeah, so that pisses me off that we're in a world that this is what we have to do. I hope that we can get back to listening to doctors and healthcare professionals about what is good for people's bodies. Trans people, women, femmes, people who can have children, people who can get pregnant, and people who Ovulate about our own bodies rather than, you know, wrestling moms. That's it.

[Tom Power]

I agree with that. Yeah. It would be good to start listening to the doctors again. Remember when everyone was like, ah, Fauci, he's good. And they're like, nope. Some of us have decided he's not. Let's spin it again. Ashley, what do you got?

[Kendra James]

Happy to be here today. I needed to get this off my chest. Nothing works anymore. Nothing works. Okay, you know how you, like, you go to a website to buy something and then there's like, a little box, and it's like, do you want to see? To send you more emails. And you unclick the box, and then you know what they do? They send you a fucking email because the box doesn't work. When was the last time you tried to make an appointment for something? You go on the website, the website doesn't work. You call a robot, answers the phone. The robot can make your appointment. No, it can't. It doesn't work. So then you finally get a human being on the phone, and you're like, why didn't this bitch just answer the phone in the first place? And do you know why? Because the only people who think AI is a good idea are people who are too rich to ever have to talk to the robot. Their assistants do it for them. So you finally make your appointment. It's a doctor appointment, they say. Great news. We now have an AI that'll read your test results. But don't worry, a doctor will read them too. Then what is the AI for? Just give the money to the doctor so that I don't have to subscribe to the doctor. Doctors are subscription services now. And I don't know if this is an LA thing, but we are out here subscribing to doctors, y'.

[Tom Power]

All.

[Kendra James]

We are subscribing to doctors. Not.

[I]

Aren't doctors the experts?

[Kendra James]

Yeah, no, I'm happy to pay a doctor. I just. It shouldn't be like, oh, I have my Spotify subscription and my subscription to Doctor. Like, I'm happy to listen to the doctor. I just think we should pay per appointment. Yes. Yes. We are. Like, nothing is working. And do you know what the worst part of all of this is? I sound so old right now. I'm like, gather around, children. Let me tell you of the days when shit used to work and when something was broken, you would call someone and the company would just give you your money back for the broken thing. But now nothing works. I sound old, and I'm not old. I'm hot.

[Tom Power]

Such an important point. Such an important point. It's when you, you know, every. When you try to read the news and it was like, oh, nobody's reading the news anymore. What's up with these kids not reading the news? If you try to read the news on your phone, you click on a website. It's fucking insane. It's, it's, it's. There's like. You're like, kind of like.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

It's like your phone, like binoculars.

[Kendra James]

You can see three words at a.

[Tom Power]

Time and you like slide it. It's like. And. And kind of like. And then like an ad pops up and then like you kind of scroll halfway down. And then all of a sudden you bounce back up. You're all the way back up at the top.

[I]

God, I thought it was just me.

[Kendra James]

Do you remember back in the day when I was young when those ads would pop up, there was a little X you could click. There's no more fucking X anymore.

[Tom Power]

No, they were separate windows. It was a separate window. Oh, yeah. Oh, and then, and then it's like there's like 17 X's, all of which sign you up. Except for, except for just. You gotta like. It's like. It's like there's a whisper of an.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

X and if you do sign up, then you have to log in.

[Tom Power]

You always got to log in.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

Then your password from last time isn't working and you're like, oh, good thing I'm safe with this two factor authentication for this news biz website.

[I]

No, girl, they don't even do that anymore. Because now when you leave something in your cart, you get an email saying you put something in your cart. And I have. Cause I'm a shopaholic. However, there have been times where I was like, I ain't buying that. I'm not putting it in the cart. And they email you saying that it was in the cart anyway, and they trick you into getting it. And I don't have a password.

[Tom Power]

I feel like we drifted into something that's more like your problem.

[Ashley Nicole Black]

We did a little drift.

[Tom Power]

Let's spin it again. All right, it's landed on me. I have just two quick things I need to say. One is about a video game that I think probably should be stopped by the government. And the other is about Gwyneth Paltrow. First, the video game that should be stopped by the government is called Balotro. I'm sorry to even say it out loud because. Don't do it. Don't play it. Stop it. It's not great. It sucks you into its fucking vortex. It is like a drug. It is whatever Solitaire was. Solitaire was a strong coffee to what Balatro is to crack. This game should not be legal. You open it, you think, I'm gonna play for two minutes before I go to bed. Suddenly the sun is out. Fuck that. Fuck that. And everyone's like, it's great. Fuck you not gonna spell it. This is not pro blotro. Second point I want to make. I want to apologize to Gwyneth Paltrow. I was obviously deeply on her side during the whole ski thing, but I'll be honest, I was and remain. But I will be honest. I did turn my nose up when anything goop came up. Like, oh, goop this, goop that. There are a bunch of little goop restaurants that have opened up around Los Angeles and I thought, I'm not gonna order from goop. That couldn't be for me. That witch is doing amazing things with salads. Those salads are. I don't understand what they're doing with those salads.

[Kendra James]

Try the pizza.

[Tom Power]

And that's our show. Thank you so much to Patton Oswald, Ashley Nicole Black, Alice Waterland and Peppermint. We'll see you next week at Dynasty typewriter. There are 458 days till the midterms. Have a great night. Have a great weekend. If you're already scrolling endlessly, which we.

[John Lovett]

Know you are, don't forget to follow.

[Tom Power]

Us at Crooked media on Instagram, TikTok and all the other ones for original content, community events and more. You can also find Love it or leave it on YouTube for videos of your favorite segments and other YouTube exclusive content. And if you want to type our praises or rip us a new one, consider dropping us a review. Finally, you can join Crooked's Friends of the Pod subscription community for ad free Love it or Leave it and Pod Save America episodes, subscriber exclusive pods and more.

[John Lovett]

Sign [e-mail] friends love it or Leave.

[Tom Power]

It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, Bill McGrath is our producer and Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallelujah Keeper is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Kaufmann, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre and Will Miles are our writers. Jordan Kanter is our editor. Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Cher.

[Patton Oswalt]

Sure.

[Tom Power]

Thanks to our designer, Sammy Cadorna Rees for creating and running all of our visuals which you can't see because this is a podcast and thanks to our digital producers David Toles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, Delon Villanueva and Rachel Gaeski for filming and editing video each each week. Our Head of production is Matt DeGroat and our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America. East.

[Kendra James]

Foreign.

[Peppermint]

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