For Whom the Ballroom Tolls

Summary

Lovett or Leave It – “For Whom the Ballroom Tolls”

Original Air Date: July 29, 2026
Host: Jon Lovett
Special Guests: Guy Branum, Missy Pyle

Episode Overview

This episode of "Lovett or Leave It" deftly blends political satire, pop culture humor, and heartfelt interviews. Jon Lovett opens with his signature “What a Week” segment, lampooning the (fictional) funeral of Lindsey Graham, then welcomes comedian Guy Branum and actress Missy Pyle for rich, witty conversations about their careers, queer history, and the eccentricities of Hollywood. The episode strikes the balance between sharp political critique and light-hearted banter, making for an engaging listen even for those unfamiliar with prior episodes.

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Key Segments & Highlights

1. What a Week – Lindsey Graham, the DNC, and Surreal Eulogies

(00:00 – 13:42)

• Lindsey Graham’s Satirical Funeral

  • Lovett opens with absurd, roast-style coverage of the fictional death and funeral of Sen. Lindsey Graham.
  • Mock eulogies delivered by imagined versions of J.D. Vance, Trump, and Sean Hannity, packed with political jabs and double entendres.

    “Per his wishes, the service was open casket, face down.” (Jon Lovett, 01:19) “Trump didn’t specify what kind of cookie, but I think we all know double stuffed.” (Jon Lovett, 02:07)

  • Lovett spins out an extended fantasy monologue about Lindsey’s “ballroom in the sky…at the wedding you never allowed yourself to imagine" (04:30), culminating in a punchline about the devil and happiness.

• Political News Round-Up

  • DNC’s Dire Finances: The Democratic National Committee is broke; Lovett and guest Missy Pyle riff on their physical headquarters as loan collateral.
  • Ken Martin Must Resign: Lovett quips, “As a progressive I beg you to keep in mind that if they can’t pay the money back, the correct term for the Democratic Party is unhoused.” (07:51)

• Pop Culture References:

  • Referencing Marvel movie rumors, Mitch McConnell in the Marvel Universe, and the world’s largest nutcracker: “RIP Lindsey Graham, you would have loved imagining the world’s largest nuts.” (10:24)

Memorable Quote

"Our nation needs more men and women like that great person sitting, laying, wherever he may be."
– Fake Trump Eulogy (02:19)

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2. Guest Interview: Guy Branum – Comedy, Queer History & Prunes

(13:42 – 27:17)

• Guy Branum’s “Be Fruitful” One-Man Show:

  • Exploring homophobia, fatphobia, and the existential question: "If I exist outside of evolution and religion, what is the purpose of my existence?" (15:05)

• Sincere Love of Prunes:

  • “My love of prunes is sincere and is a lifelong love.” (14:56)

• Guy’s Comedy Beginnings:

  • Shares his nervous first time doing stand-up in San Francisco, and how he grew from being seen as “more of a writer” to a confident performer.

• Hollywood Observations:

  • Both Lovett and Branum joke about TV writers’ ultimate dream: to have a house with a pool and never actually write.

• Emmy Talk:

  • Guy discusses writing for "Hacks” and their record 24 nominations.
  • They riff on the ridiculousness of single-winner awards.

• Gay Pop Culture Education:

  • Discusses "Old Gays, Remember?" and emphasizes how Judy Garland’s funeral and Stonewall are entwined in queer memory.
  • “Stonewall happened the night of Judy Garland’s funeral … it is intrinsically linked to culture.” (22:09)

Memorable Moments

• On Coming Out and Career Obstacles:

  "For my first two years of standup, everyone would say, 'You should be a writer.' Eventually I got so good at performing I became a terrible writer. Really irresponsible, just getting by on charm." (17:02)

• Queer History Quiz (“Ye Olde Gay News”)
  • Lovett and Branum play a lively trivia round on LGBTQ+ history.
  • Standout banter over the “Lavender Scare,” the Mattachine Society, and Cher’s full birth name (“It’s Cheryl Lynn Sarkeesian or Sarkisian.” – 26:49).

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3. Guest Interview: Missy Pyle – Bears, TV, & On-Screen Shenanigans

(29:26 – 54:36)

• Sterling Point & Career Varieties:

  • Missy discusses her new show “Sterling Point” (teen inherits a Canadian island), her personal mementos from grandparents, and playing eccentric characters.

• Onscreen Nipple Mishaps:

  • Comics recall “Stop That Train”’s infamous CGI nipple: “I believe it’s a CGI nipple. Quite large.” (32:43)
  • The practical (or not) techniques for on-screen nudity and outrageous comedy bits.

• Pet Segment – The Dog Whisperer:

  • Missy recounts being coached by Cesar Millan: “He never broke eye contact … he said, ‘I’m trying to get you to calm down. Your dogs are sensing your energy.’” (34:47)
  • Lovett admits, “I’ve been told I’m in a fin dom relationship with my goldendoodle.” (34:16)

• Bear at the Wedding:

  • Missy’s ex-husband (Casey Anderson) had a grizzly bear as his best man:

    “I just hope I’m not walking down the aisle with a bear and I’m on my period.” (38:20)

  • Anecdotes about the logistics and tension of marrying in Montana with wild animals present.

• “Was I In This?” Career Game:

  • Recaps roles in "Galaxy Quest," "Dodgeball," "1600 Pen," and “Ma.”
  • On “Galaxy Quest”: “It was my first movie and Steven Spielberg came to the set. He realized they didn’t have another woman so he made my part bigger.” (43:33)
  • On “Dodgeball”: “You played Fran Stalinovskovichdavidovitchsky from Romanovia – it was a made up place.” (47:20)
  • On not booking romantic leads:

    “I couldn’t book anything straight to save my life... If it was weird, I was like, I get it, I understand it.” (48:25)

• On “The Artist” (Best Picture Winner):

  • Missy describes landing her silent film role: “There were no lines to learn... I just played a different character.” (53:42)

Memorable Quotes

• “When you’re on a big movie set with big stars, at lunch they go straight to their trailers. Alan [Rickman] would get his lunch and come sit with the Thermians.” (45:25)
• “It’s pretty great, you know... and at one point my daughter... sees me get hit by a car, and starts to cry. Not as great a parenting move as I could have, but it was fun.” (57:54)

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4. Final Segment: Second Thoughts

(54:36 – End)

• Recap of the night’s “controversial” moments and comic self-flagellation.
  • “I accidentally wrote that novel about Lindsey Graham’s Mar a Lago heaven … I stand by it. That was good stuff.” (55:38)
  • Banter about Lovett’s lack of interest in others, Stalin name drops, and extended Star Trek tangents.
• Kudos for Missy Pyle: “Correctly diagnosing that Lovett’s anxiety is the problem with his dog.” (57:25)

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Notable Quotes & Time Stamps

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|-------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:19 | Lovett | “Per his wishes, the service was open casket, face down.” | | 04:30 | Lovett | “At the wedding you never allowed yourself to imagine...” (Lindsey Graham eulogy)| | 07:51 | Lovett | “The correct term for the Democratic Party is unhoused.” | | 14:56 | G. Branum | “My love of prunes is sincere and is a lifelong love.” | | 17:02 | G. Branum | “For my first two years of standup...you should be a writer...” | | 22:09 | G. Branum | “Stonewall happened the night of Judy Garland’s funeral...” | | 32:43 | M. Pyle | “It’s a CGI nipple. Quite large.” | | 34:47 | M. Pyle | “He just stared me right in the face ... trying to get you to calm down.” | | 43:33 | M. Pyle | “It was my first movie and Steven Spielberg came to set ... made my part bigger.”| | 48:25 | M. Pyle | “I couldn’t book anything straight to save my life...” | | 53:42 | M. Pyle | “There were no lines to learn … I just played a different character.” | | 57:25 | Lovett | “Kudos for Missy … correctly diagnosing my anxiety is the problem with my dog.” |

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Noteworthy Moments with Timestamps

• Lindsey Graham’s "Mar a Lago Heaven" Fantasy: 04:15–05:30
• Guy Branum’s First Stand-Up Story: 15:52–16:26
• Old Gays, Remember? & Stonewall/Judy Garland Fact: 22:01–22:38
• CGI Nipples/On-Screen Gags: 32:13–33:10
• Celebrity Bear Wedding Story: 37:32–40:00
• Galaxy Quest – How Missy’s Role Grew: 43:25–44:08
• Missy Pyle in “The Artist” – No Lines to Learn: 53:42–54:36

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Tone and Language

The overall tone is irreverent, fast-paced, and packed with in-jokes and heartfelt observations. The banter is self-deprecating, especially from Lovett, who routinely turns his own mishaps and anxieties into punchlines.

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Conclusion

Whether skewering political absurdities or celebrating queer and Hollywood history, “For Whom the Ballroom Tolls” offers listeners a blend of pointed satire and warm, candid storytelling. Guy Branum and Missy Pyle shine as guests, sharing both laughs and lived experience. The episode is a testament to the value of both knowing your history—and knowing how to laugh at it.

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Transcript

[John Lovett]

Hey, It's Tommy from Pod. Save America and Pot Save the World. Last year, 2,500 people joined us at CrookedCon for conversations with some of the smartest organizers, least annoying politicians, and most interesting voices in politics to talk about how to fix this mess. Even President Obama made a surprise appearance. We're doing it all again November 5th to 7th in Washington, D.C. with even more podcasts, panels, and workshops. Plus, there'll be drinks, which we'll need after the midterms. No matter which way they go, get tickets at CrookedCon. If you're a friend of the pod, you get a discount, too. See you there. What's up, Los Angeles? Welcome to Love it or Leave It. Live from Hollywood, I'm Jon Lovett. The exact midpoint between Marty McFly and Doc Brown. That sucks. All right, we've got a great show for you tonight, but first, let's get into it. What a week. Funeral services for the late South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham were held in Washington, D.C. on Tuesday. I've never been Graham's biggest fan, but I was very moved by the 21twink salute. Graham's remains were first brought to the Capitol building for a livestream ceremony in the rotunda. Per his wishes, the service was open casket, face down. Here's Vice President J.D. vance honoring Graham in the Capitol. Lindsey Graham told me a story about his time in the House, and if I repeated exactly what he told me, Darlene, it would be the end of my political career forever. But what I can say is that I was laughing so hard that by the time we got to the next event, I had abdominal cramps and I was barely able to speak because Lindsey Graham could make anybody laugh. What a heartwarming story. So often gay friendships are fraught because of sexual tension or unrequited feelings. It's nice to see a positive example. A funeral service was then held at the National Cathedral, where Trump delivered a beautiful, heartfelt eulogy. Virtually everyone, Republican or Democrat, liked Lindsey. Well, not everybody, but it sounds good. Not everybody. He was a tough cookie. Okay, I have to be. I have to veer from this first set. He was a tough cookie, darling. Trump didn't specify what kind of cookie, but I think we all know double stuffed. Continue, Trump. Our nation needs more men and women like that great person sitting, laying, wherever he may be. I think I know where he is and I think he's up there. I think he's watching us. I'm pretty sure of it. He did love to watch, said a jacked, sobbing 25 year old who Nobody at the funeral seemed to know. Trump also reminisced about the time he read off Lindsey Graham's actual phone number after the late senator pissed Trump off during the 2016 presidential campaign. As you remember, Lindsey and I did not exactly get off to the best of starts. So naturally I did something that I shouldn't have done. I shared his personal cell phone number with the millions of people that happened to be watching that particular day as I made a speech, a very important speech, and I remember the number, 202-228-0292. If anybody wants to give it a shot, you call the number, Lindsey Graham answers. Then you hear Mitch McConnell whispering in the background, tell everybody I'm not here because he's dead. Sean Hannity also offered a few words. Lindsey Mr. President, I would argue in my mind, probably has a heavenly version of Mar A Lago. It may even be a little bigger. And I wouldn't be surprised if he added one big, beautiful ballroom and an arch somewhere on the property, because he would want to obviously duplicate his dearest friend in life, you, Mr. President. And in Mar a Lago heaven, none of the prostitutes or Chinese spies gathering intel on U.S. officials and the prostitutes services are free. And you just see one free prostitute who actually likes spending time with you. And you don't just have sex. You go to dinner and on little trips and you realize you have a lot in common. And actually, weirdly, you had the best time just doing an errand together at Home Depot in heaven, buying a big pot, and you decide to hold hands by the pool. And at first it's scary because you know so many people there. Sheldon Adelson, half of diamond and Silk, Rush Limbaugh, Charlie Kirk. But everyone is just relieved to see that you're at peace in this dark cloud that's floated above you. Your entire life disappears. And you wake up each morning in heaven and have this strange deja vu, or really the opposite of deja vu, reminded of a feeling you don't have, an urgency, a panic, to do more, fight harder, be known, be essential, be on television, bestride the world like a conqueror. To be big, to leave a mark, to move borders and topple regimes, to matter. Because you do matter. You matter to your free prostitute, who is not a spy and who you love and who loves you. And you dance and spin in that big ballroom in the sky at the wedding you never allowed yourself to imagine. And everyone is cheering. The cute boy from your reserve unit all those years ago is cheering your parents, who died when you and Your sister were so young. Are cheering. And then it all melts like wax in your hands as you're standing alone in a blackened pit in the desert. And you laugh for the last time. For now you understand the devil as he whispers in your ear that you cannot truly know hell without first knowing happiness, even for just a moment. The Pentagon also announced that they would be renaming South Carolina's Joint Base Charleston to Joint Base Lindsey Graham. Or as the base will soon be known, Bottom Gun. Okay. Welcome to Joint Base Lindsey Graham. Flyboy. Forget what you learned at the academy. We do things a little differently down here. Take those pants off. A man died. Show some respect. Both Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Ukrainian President Volodymyr zelensky came to D.C. for the funeral. Zelensky was there to show gratitude for Graham's support for Ukraine, while Netanyahu was in town to see what an adult sized casket looks like. Speaking of the devil. You did great. You did great. I know. I understand. That's an intense joke, but it's a good joke. Structurally, it's just excellent. Wasn't going to get a laugh. We knew that going in. We knew that. No one's going to laugh at that joke. It's horrible to think about, but it's good. Speaking of the devil. On Sunday, the Wall Street Journal published a report on unseen footage from director Alex Holder, who had exclusive documentary access to Senator Graham from 2023 until his death, which included this praise for Trump and Netanyahu. He's been a great wartime president. I said last night that Trump and Bibi are like Roosevelt and Churchill. I mean, they're the right two guys to confront this evil. Roosevelt must be turning over in his grave and discovering his legs work in there. Awesome. Speaking of grave circumstances, there's new reporting from the New York Times. The bulwark and notice on the dire financial straits of the Democratic National Committee under its chair, Ken Martin.

[Missy Pyle]

The paper highlights a cash disparity between the two parties, noting that President Trump controls a $400 million super PAC. The Republican National Committee is sitting on nearly $130 million, while the DNC is

[John Lovett]

$2 million in debt. Sounds like it's time for the Democrats to put on the best damn talent show this town has ever seen. The DNC had to put their physical Washington D.C. headquarters up as collateral for a $15 million line of credit during 2025's off year elections. When Ken Martin said, we can't afford to lose the House, I thought he meant of Representatives. And as a progressive I beg you to keep in mind that if they can't pay the money back, the correct term for the Democratic Party is unhoused. The DNC chair also reportedly threw his phone at the desk of a junior staffer he was scolding. Good thing he throws like a little bitch, responded the aide who had previously worked for Amy Klobuchar. Just to be clear, it is wrong to throw your phone anywhere near a colleague. Apart from the obvious reasons you shouldn't throw an object you need to retrieve. After you throw a stapler, a binder, a three hole punch, a copy of the DNC bylaws laying around, the exchange is over. You storm off. If you throw your phone at somebody, wherever it lands, that's your next stop. Collecting your phone off the ground in embarrassing silence. That's just stupid. And it's wrong to throw your phone. The news has set off renewed calls for Martin to step down. California Congressman Sam Licardo posted to X. Ken Martin must resign. As Democrats, we have become too captured by failing strategies. We must fail forward and pivot. The urgency of this moment will not reward and our children will not forgive. Torpidity, Torpidity. Which pretentious jagoff wrote this me also fail forward. That's not a goal. That's just tripping. And news dropped Today that the DNC was also scammed out of $29,000 by a fraudster sending emails as Ken Martin. Democrats have asked police to immediately track this guy down so that they can elect him the new DNC chair. Explain to DNC spokesperson he couldn't answer any of our questions to any degree of satisfaction, so he just thought for sure that's our Ken. Speaking of having questions, during a post screening red carpet interview at the premiere of Brand New Day, musician Steve Lacy was asked this all the characters in

[Missy Pyle]

the film you're aware of and without spoiling anything, who is your favorite or who are you most excited to see?

[Guy Branum]

You know what?

[John Lovett]

Mm. He then spoils the movie. Some fans were pissed, but what's really crazy is that they managed to keep it a secret that Mitch McConnell has been shooting a Marvel mov this whole fucking time. And finally, the Minnesota town of Luverne is now home to the world's largest nutcracker, which is nearly 66ft tall. RIP Lindsey Graham, you would have loved imagining the world's largest nuts. All right, we've got a great show for you tonight and we will be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Bellesa. Stop what you're doing and listen closely because Bellesa is giving away free spicy toys or gift cards for toys to every single person who's like if you haven't heard of Bellesa, they're one of North America's top rated sex toy companies and they're hooking the Love it or leave it audience up with a very special deal. Their toys have gone viral for a reason. Like their famous Whisper collection, it's fully silent vibrators. If you live with roommates, a partner, or God forbid, your parents, these toys are silent without compromising power. Wow. It's like a stealth bomber looking to spice up date night. The key vibe is a discreet magnetic wearable that adds extra excitement to any adult situation. So Bellesa is sending out free toys or gift cards to everyone who signs up [e-mail] Love it. Boy, you dream of one day having your name be a code for a deal on a vibrator. You heard that right. Every single one of you wins something. Just click the link in the episode description or head to bbvibes.com love it. That's B B V I B E s.com/love it love it or Leave it is brought to you by Thrive Market the best thing about Thrive Market is that it takes the chore out of grocery shopping. Rather than wandering through crowded stores. You can customize your shopping experience online. Filter by your personal health goals and dietary needs to find exactly what you need in seconds. No stressing over labels or googling. Every additive, every product and brand is vetted before they ever hit the site. The IN App Barcode Scanner finds a healthier swap for almost anything in your pantry right now. Member pricing up to 30% off plus weekly sales plus free gifts plus price matching plus free delivery on qualifying orders all in the membership. 90 plus filters mean you're only seeing what works for you. High protein, low sugar, glp, one friendly gluten free keto and more. No more decision fatigue. Your filtered results only show what fits your household. I had some chomp grass fed beef sticks. I had some crackers from Simple Mills. Lesser Evil Popcorn Pirates Booty we all love Pirates Booty. Thrive Market is also great for stocking up on pantry staples like olive oil, oats, nut butters, spices and canned goods. Ready to build your ultimate summer cart? Join Thrive Market with my link at thrive market for $20 off your first three orders plus a free gift. That's thrive market.com love it. And we're back. Guy Branham will join in just a moment. But first, Crooked has a new show with the producers of the Circus and Left Right TV that you'll definitely want to check out before the midterms. It's called Long Play. The six episode series, hosted by Jen Palmieri, Aaron Haynes and Mitch Landrieu, is all about the south as the new epicenter of American politics. Each episod will focus on a different state and the first two are out now at YouTube.comlongplayseries and on the Long Play feed wherever you get your podcast. So just search for Long Play and check it out. And if you're in LA, go to cricket.comevents to come see us live, along with upcoming guests including Hamilton's Daveed Diggs, Anthony Michael hall from the Breakfast Club, comedian Elliot Glaser, and many more. All right, please welcome to the show friend of the pod and an old gay to remember. It's Guy Branum.

[Guy Branum]

Hello.

[John Lovett]

Hi, Guy. Oh, my gosh. This is your first time in the new studio.

[Guy Branum]

It's a set.

[John Lovett]

It's a set.

[Guy Branum]

It's very exciting.

[John Lovett]

It is a set.

[Guy Branum]

You have a statue of eagles.

[John Lovett]

That's right. Which you bought from an estate sale.

[Guy Branum]

Oh, that's lovely. That's very cool.

[John Lovett]

From a patriotic dead person, maybe? No. Before Lindsey Graham.

[Guy Branum]

No. I mean, I would have to imagine that the dead represent a greater percentage of the patriotic than the living these days.

[John Lovett]

Sure, sure. And they're the only ones who have the estate sales.

[Guy Branum]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

So you're doing your one man show, be fruitful.

[Guy Branum]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

At the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

[Guy Branum]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

According to the press release, it's about homophobia and fatphobia, falling in love, and I quote, the biology and evolution of fruit.

[Guy Branum]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

And can I ask you something? Is the fact that you have been and perhaps remain an official spokesperson for prunes, does that factor in?

[Guy Branum]

Have you guys recently tried a California pitted prune? It's delic. It's a sophisticated French treat that you like, never think to indulge in, and it's delicious.

[John Lovett]

But yes, you know what? This is the problem in politics, because whatever a guy really feels, the prune money got him. All right? And now it's all prunes all the time with this guy.

[Guy Branum]

First of all, my love of prunes is sincere and is a lifelong love. I come from a little town in Northern California that grows a lot of peaches and prunes. And so that did make me think about fruit more than I should and also led to my relationship with the California Prune board. And also who wrote this press release? Because it's not really about homophobia. The show is basically just saying, like, I'm a gay guy, so I'm not gonna have children. Like, I am a very fat person, so I'm not what you're supposed to look for in genetics. And you know, if I, you know, there's not really a religion that wants gay people. Like, if I exist outside of evolution and religion, what is the purpose of my existence? And I go on a 55 minute journey through that. And also there are some stops along the way to talk about fruit.

[John Lovett]

Well, that sounds just lovely, Guy.

[Guy Branum]

It really is.

[John Lovett]

You know what I wanted to ask you? I was thinking about you coming on the show and you've been on this show many times.

[Guy Branum]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

It's not even a countable number of times at this point. It's water in an ocean. What was the very first time you did stand up?

[Guy Branum]

The first time I ever did stand up was at the One World Cafe in San Francisco my last year at Berkeley. And the cafe always had a good audience because Robin Williams, when he would go on talk shows, real talk shows, he would promote random open mics in San Francisco so that people would show up for the rest of the year. And so it was like a really lovely experience. And I was so scared. I was so scared my knee wouldn't stop bouncing the entire time. And it was, I loved it so much. Thank you for bringing that memory back.

[John Lovett]

Well, the reason I was thinking about it is cause I was thinking about you doing your show and I was thinking about the intelligence and confidence that you have always carried yourself with despite being a gay person in a shape that is often frowned upon in both religion and the community.

[Guy Branum]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

And I was thinking, oh, I wonder what it would have been like to see Guy as a nervous kid getting up there because it's hard to conceive. And I imagine there are people that might want to try doing something on stage and they would see someone like you with the level of aplomb and confidence and fast talking Jewishness you bring to the exercise and think, that could never be me.

[Guy Branum]

And yet, well, no, for my first two years of standup, everyone would just be like, I think of you more as a writer. You should be a writer. Like, it was very much sort of like, you're bad at performing. And then eventually I became so good at performing that I became a terrible writer. Like, really irresponsible is like a get by on charm.

[John Lovett]

The Hollywood dream. By the way, there's not a writer in this town, they moved here for two reasons. To have a house with a pool and to stop writing. That's the two goals.

[Guy Branum]

It's very true.

[John Lovett]

So you also, by the way, people should know this. You emceed the rehearsal of our wedding, and we've put a moratorium on wedding conversations because just. We've talked about it. But I will just want to say you do something amazing, Right. Because you're a big dude.

[Guy Branum]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

And you are walking around a room full of people, asking questions, pestering people, and you do it with. There's not a tiniest bit of, like, intimidation in how you talk to people. And that's an interesting quality that I think you don't like. When I think of the list of things you would say about you. Right. Funny, smart, first and second. But you would never say. You would never say, like, oh, wow, he's a big guy, but he is so lovable that there's not an ounce of the scale does not intimidate a single person, from the older aunts to the shy coworkers, et cetera.

[Guy Branum]

That's shocking to me because my goal is to be as terrifying as possible. But I think part of it was just that wedding was such a beautiful view of you and Ari through the people who love you most. And I was just so fascinated to learn about everyone who was there that I was just excited to get to know them. And then getting to see. Yeah, like, getting to see everybody who got up there and tore you guys apart. It was so much fun.

[John Lovett]

It was a bit of a roast. Genuine interest in people. I've never experienced it, and it's so interesting to observe from afar. You are nominated for an Emmy for writing on Hacks.

[Guy Branum]

I was. I write on the television program Hacks. Thank you.

[John Lovett]

The most nominations, 24 for a comedy ever.

[Guy Branum]

I know, it's very exciting. We. We tore it up on best guest actress in a comedy. We got five of the seven nominations.

[John Lovett]

Wait, that's crazy. I didn't know that.

[Guy Branum]

Yes. Two of them from the episode that I co wrote. Very exciting. Leslie Bibb and Cherry Jones. I am pulling for them, but it's them. Lauren Wiedman, Laurie Metcalfe, and Caitlin Olson. And it's just an array of amazing talents. And it is one of those situations of, like, how are you going to pick one of those to win? How are you going to pick.

[John Lovett]

I feel like there were two kinds of. There were two kinds of schools. There were the schools where there was going to be one valedictorian, and it was a Winner take all situation. And there were the schools that said the kids don't compete. Everyone can achieve a certain threshold. And then we'll have several valedictorians. And I feel like we need that spirit with awards because there are some years where it's like, I don't know, the shape of water, I guess.

[Guy Branum]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

And then there's years where there's like four movies that in any other year would be the best picture.

[Guy Branum]

Same with Emmys back in the 70s. In the Tonys, they would just be like, there are no best supporting or best featured actresses this year. There's just like, no one's good enough really this year. And it was kind of funny as someone who was the only valedictorian of their class. I like it when there's only one.

[John Lovett]

Wow. You were the valedictorian.

[Guy Branum]

It was a high school of 60 or it was 300 people. Graduating class was 60 people. And the second highest. This is back when SATs were out of 1600. The second highest SAT score in my class was a 1040.

[John Lovett]

Oh, my God. Wow. And that's where you're from?

[Guy Branum]

That's where I'm from. A place where you grow peaches and prunes. Don't need to know a bunch of algebra to grow a prune.

[John Lovett]

Well, that's what Stalin thought. And then all of a sudden you're like, what if we double the wheat? What if there's no fucking wheat? That's the thing about Stalin and planting the things too close together and then blaming kulaks.

[Guy Branum]

You got kulaks?

[John Lovett]

Fuck. You got there first. Fuck.

[Guy Branum]

Thank you.

[John Lovett]

Those are the bourgeoisie farm owners. You blame them.

[Guy Branum]

It's important that you, the landowners, that John and I were on a quiz show with each other like a week and a half ago. And neither of us are more alive than when we are intellectually competing. And we were so beautifully, evenly matched that neither of we're happy.

[John Lovett]

Yes. Yes. We just walked out in son of sort of a Silence. Good to see you. I guess I'll see you in a couple of weeks.

[Guy Branum]

It had been really fun, though.

[John Lovett]

We had a great time. We were. It was a light hearted little video podcast. And by the end it was like. It was like the World Cup. Like we're flopping, we're yelling, we're like calling out the refs. We're questioning the rules of the question, can there be a yellow card in this fucking thing?

[Guy Branum]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

Now, you also have been hosting a series called Old Gays, remember?

[Guy Branum]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

Which you explain classic pop culture that is something that is sort of intrinsic to your upbringing and understanding of the world, but would be completely unfamiliar to, say, someone under 25.

[Guy Branum]

Right.

[John Lovett]

What is your favorite example of something that you can't believe people don't know about?

[Guy Branum]

Oh, okay. Can't believe people don't know about. I would say the best thing was just that Stonewall happened the night of Judy Garland's funeral. And, like, there's a lot of gay politics around. Do we want to say that these things are related? Does it make us look frivolous to say that these things are related? But, like, I think the fact that the two things synchronized is important and should be known. And I think it says something really important about gay politics in the way that it is intrinsically linked to culture.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. I mean, if Kid Rock died on January 6th.

[Guy Branum]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

I think people would be. People would be like, yeah, I think it's related to.

[Guy Branum]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

When you think about it.

[Guy Branum]

But the thing that was most amazing to me is that some things that aren't so obviously transparently queer have had such resonance. Most specifically, I did a video about 1980s sitcom actress Ann Gillian, who no one remembers, but she was basically Kim Cattrall before Kim Cattrall. And, like, a friend of mine from Toronto was like, I just had to explain who Angelian was to a 27 year old. You have to make a video. And then I did, and people went crazy for it.

[John Lovett]

And I just have to be the kind of gay who remembers that Kim Cattrall's best performance in her career was in Star Trek VI Undiscovered Country.

[Guy Branum]

I mean, she played Lieutenant Saavik. God damn it. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

No, she didn't. No. Wait, but who did? Why wasn't she Saavik. Tell the people.

[Guy Branum]

Okay, because in Star Trek the Wrath of Khan, what's her name from Cheers?

[John Lovett]

Kirsty Alley.

[Guy Branum]

Kirstie Alley played Lieutenant Saavik, and then her career became too big, and then they replaced with a different Saavic in Star Trek 3. And then they basically made the character again for Kim Cattrall in Undiscovered Picturesque.

[John Lovett]

They didn't keep the name. They didn't keep the name, but it was meant to be for Kirstie Alley, who I think was having, like, a drug issue at the time. There was something about that that went into it.

[Guy Branum]

Narcanon was how she got into Scientology, you guys. This is what that whole game show was like.

[John Lovett]

Speaking of games, it's time for a quiz. We're calling Ye Olde Gay News.

[Guy Branum]

Yep.

[John Lovett]

Here's how it works. I'm gonna quiz you on some gay history.

[Guy Branum]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

And let's see if this old gay remembers.

[Guy Branum]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

What colorfully named societal panic, which ran alongside the Red scare, saw between 5,000 and 10,000 gay men and lesbians fired or forced to resign from their federal jobs throughout the 1950s?

[Guy Branum]

Largely the state Department. Because we love to help people get together. That was the Lavender Panic. That was the Lavender Panic.

[John Lovett]

The Lavender Panic, Lavender Scare will accept, was kicked off by legislation. The Lavender scare was kicked off by Dwight D. Eisenhower. Signed. Who signed an executive order adding sexual perversion as a disqualifying factor for receiving government security requirements and effectively barring LGBTQ people from federal jobs. Next up, founded in 1950 by Harris Hayes and the homosexuals of LA, this early, pivotal gay rights organization was named after French Renaissance mask dancing, in which secret fraternities of unmarried men would don masks and dance for the equinox.

[Guy Branum]

That is the Mattachine Society.

[John Lovett]

That is correct. They would. Some Mattachine members would go to straight bars, announce that they were gay, and then, once they were denied service, sue the bar for discrimination.

[Guy Branum]

How did that work out in the 50s?

[John Lovett]

Well, not particularly well. There was a name for these demonstrations.

[Guy Branum]

Oh, what?

[John Lovett]

Sip.

[Missy Pyle]

Ins.

[Guy Branum]

Oh, that's fun. That's cute.

[John Lovett]

Sippins, huh? The gays were clever back then too.

[Guy Branum]

Yep.

[John Lovett]

You know, sippins, when you think about it. Fill in the blank. The first lesbian organization in the United States, founded in San Francisco in 1955, was named the Daughters of Blank after a fict contemporary of Sappho created by French poet Pierre Louis.

[Guy Branum]

It is called the Daughters of Belitus. But on the episode of Designing Women where Suzanne found out that her old beauty pageant friend was a lesbian, they called it Sisters of Sappho. And I think that's a much better name.

[John Lovett]

That is a better name. It was too heady of a name, genuinely. Like, I was worried that I wasn't sure what level these. That is a hard question. That is a hard question. And some of these are multiple choice. And he's just calling it out before we get to the choices. Who is the. Let's see. This is name. The gay Jewish sexologist who, at a German institute for sexual science, looted in its books, many of which explore gender and sexuality burned by the Nazis in 1933.

[Guy Branum]

Unfortunately, I didn't watch that season of Transparent.

[John Lovett]

Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld.

[Guy Branum]

Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld should have remembered that. I read that enough.

[John Lovett]

Last question.

[Guy Branum]

But if you talk to me about a German Jewish sexologist, I just want to talk about Dr. Ruth Westheimer. You know.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Final question, what is Cher's full birth name?

[Guy Branum]

It's Cheryl Lynn Sarkeesian or Sarkisian.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, you got it, you got it, you got it. According to Cher's mother, she was debating between Cheryl and Cherylin and forgot which one she actually put on Cher's birth certificate. Everybody, if you check out Be Fruitful in Edinburgh from August 5th through the 31st, and head to Eyebranham on Instagram for tickets. Thank you, guys. Good to see you. And we'll be right back.

[Guy Branum]

Thank you for having me.

[John Lovett]

Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or leave it coming up. This episode is sponsored by the International Rescue Committee. Today, millions of children in conflict zones like Sudan and Gaza are fighting just to survive beyond the constant threat of hunger. They are facing severe water shortages and are cut off from even the most basic healthcare. That's why we want to tell you about the important work being done by the International Rescue Committee. They're on the ground at some of the most vulnerable places in the world, helping families access food, medical care, clean water and support for new moms and babies. They even train local health workers so care reaches those who might otherwise be completely cut off. You can help the IRC support even more children in need for a limited time. All donations are matched to Rush 2X, the emergency aid help save a child's life. Give [e-mail] rebuild. That's Rescue.org rebuild. All right, back to the show. Love it or leave it is brought to you by hims. Losing weight is one thing, but feeling your best this summer, that's the real goal. That's why Weight Loss by Hims is now offering access to the FDA approved WeGovy pill and WeGovy pen. WeGovy is designed to help you lose weight sustainably so you could show up this summer feeling like yourself. With hims, everything happens online. You'll connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your medication is delivered right to your door. No insurance necessary. And it doesn't stop there. Hims makes hitting your goals seamless by offering access to 24.7 messaging with your care team and in app lifestyle and nutrition support like recipe, meal plans, fitness videos, sleep content and more. With a range of affordable GLP1 options, HIMSS makes it simple to find a weight loss approach that fits into your world and your wallet. If eligible, you'll get a treatment plan personalized to you and unlimited dosage changes as needed, ready to reach your goals. Visit himss.comlovett to get a personalized, affordable plan that gets you. That's H I M S.com lovett hims.com love it. Weight loss by HIMS is not available in all 50 states. WeGovy is the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk. As to get started and learn more, including important SAFET, WeGovy clinical study information and restrictions, visit HIMSS.com. And we're back. My next guest puts the character and character actress. Oh, and also the actress. Please welcome Missy Pyle.

[Missy Pyle]

Oh, hi. Hi.

[John Lovett]

Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. Hi. Come on in. Hi. It's nice to see you.

[Missy Pyle]

Thank you.

[John Lovett]

Thanks for being here.

[Missy Pyle]

Thanks for having me.

[John Lovett]

So you're in a new show.

[Missy Pyle]

I'm in a new show about a

[John Lovett]

17 year old who inherits an island in Canada. Boy, that's a dream.

[Missy Pyle]

I mean, can you imagine? She's like at home and this lawyer comes and is like, you have this grandfather she didn't even know she had. She's like a mystery granddad who died and left her an island.

[John Lovett]

Wow, that would change everything.

[Missy Pyle]

It would be so nice, you know? Yeah, I don't have. All my grandparents left me. They didn't leave me anything. They didn't even leave me a dollar.

[John Lovett]

Oh, yeah. Little bits of, you know, kind of. We got like, kind of classic Jewish jewelry, you know, passed down.

[Missy Pyle]

I got some, like, Dutch, like, little shoes that you put on the counter. Oh, how is it?

[John Lovett]

Are you Dutch?

[Missy Pyle]

No.

[John Lovett]

Weird. And the show's called Sterling Points.

[Missy Pyle]

It's called Sterling Points.

[John Lovett]

Is that the name of the island?

[Missy Pyle]

That's the name of the island, yeah. And they go. And they're adopted from birth and their adoptive mother died when they were two and so their dad never told them about this grandfather. And so the lead character, which is played by the incredible actress, this incredible actress named Ella Rubin. And actually, Mark Ruffalo is her. I'm sorry, Kean Ruffalo. Mark Ruffalo's son plays her brother. So the two of them go end up at the island and. Yeah. Then they find out all kinds of twists and turns, mostly from my character. Yeah. Cool. Yeah, my character is this, like, really, really rich real estate mogul and I own a lot of the island. Yeah, yeah.

[Guy Branum]

This sounds like evil Anne of Green Gables, right?

[Missy Pyle]

Basically. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

And you played a horny divorcee on Stop that Train.

[Missy Pyle]

We did that together. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

You were both in Stop that Train.

[Guy Branum]

Yeah, we were queer icons.

[Missy Pyle]

Yes, we really are. Yes. My character's name was Horny Divorcee. I was like, does she have a name? And he was like, no, it's. She's Horny Divorcee. So I was like, okay.

[Guy Branum]

Huh?

[John Lovett]

I'm trying to think of. What's it like? Cause when I was growing up, there was an old lady named Horty.

[Missy Pyle]

Sure.

[John Lovett]

Horty. Horty Schmier.

[Missy Pyle]

Do you think Horty was horny?

[John Lovett]

She didn't seem horny. She seemed really focused on making sure the camp was fun for the kids. But I don't know what she and hi Schmierer got up to at night.

[Missy Pyle]

Yeah, you never know what they got.

[John Lovett]

She wasn't horny at night. She wasn't ever horny. Hoardy in my presence. She was more kind of, like. Kind of, to be honest, like, you know, motherly. Was she a hoarder? Was she hoardy? She was. It was Horty. What an hoardy.

[Missy Pyle]

Hoardy.

[John Lovett]

Horny.

[Missy Pyle]

Hoardy.

[John Lovett]

Hoardy. That's right.

[Missy Pyle]

Yeah, something like that.

[John Lovett]

Was there a prep? Because there's a. You have a nip slip in Stop that train.

[Missy Pyle]

Yes.

[Guy Branum]

One of the most historic nip slips in the history of film, really? It's iconic.

[John Lovett]

And what was the. Yeah, what was the prep like for that?

[Missy Pyle]

The prep was that we came in and they had a bunch of different nipples to try on, and some of them were too big, and some of them were too small, and then some of them were just right. But then we ended up not using them because ultimately it didn't look like enough, like a real nipple. So it's. It's. I believe it's a CGI nipple. Oh, Quite large.

[John Lovett]

So interesting. And what. And was there any discussion. And pardon. Pardon me for sure for the question, if it's inappropriate in some way, why not just throw your nipple out there?

[Missy Pyle]

Well, because the whole gag is that she was so dumb. I'm just like, oh, you know, accidentally falls out, and then Drew Droege goes, that woman's got a giant nipple.

[John Lovett]

Oh, I.

[Missy Pyle]

And my.

[John Lovett]

I mean, you say no more.

[Missy Pyle]

Thank you.

[John Lovett]

Unless you want to say more.

[Guy Branum]

But also, I'm shocked. I would think if anybody could do practical nipple work, it would be the people behind RuPaul's Drag Race. And I'm stunned because it looks so real. I thought it was practical.

[John Lovett]

Right?

[Guy Branum]

Yeah, it's beautiful.

[Missy Pyle]

Well, I think they thought that the big, big, big one was gonna be too big and it would be ridiculous, so they put one on that wasn't that big, and it didn't really seem like a giant Nipple. I'm not saying. It wasn't actually. Let me rewind. It was actually just not quite big enough.

[Guy Branum]

Oh.

[John Lovett]

Because, I mean, I would say, as far as that film goes, oh, no, if the nipple's too big, nobody's gonna take this seriously.

[Missy Pyle]

I also. One of my favorite moments in it is that I have. I eat some cherries in my whatever, and then I pull out all the cherry stems. You know, anybody tie one in a knot? Yeah. So I pull it out, and it says, I'm horny. Incursive.

[John Lovett]

And that's horny, people.

[Missy Pyle]

That's horny. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Now, I did want to ask you about something, which is you appeared on the Dog Whisper with Cesar Millan.

[Missy Pyle]

Yes. Are you fascinated with Cesar Millan?

[John Lovett]

Yes. As someone who has been told by Hallie Kiefer, the head writer of this show, that I'm in a fin dom relationship with a goldendoodle.

[Missy Pyle]

You are.

[John Lovett]

I am interested in the tips about. Because he just goes, shh. And then the dogs go, shh. And when I go, shh, nothing happens.

[Missy Pyle]

Nothing happens.

[John Lovett]

What was your experience like?

[Missy Pyle]

Well, first of all, I was married to a guy at the time who had a grizzly bear as the best. That was the best man at our wedding. Which is. Was that a question you were gonna ask?

[John Lovett]

No, no. We'll get to that. No. But I'm happy to hear about this.

[Missy Pyle]

So we were living in Montana, and we did this, like. Like, Cesar came to the house, and I lived in this geodome. And what I remember about Cesar is he's like, he was such an interesting guy. And, like, this was a while ago, but still, you could text and be on your phone, and the entire time he was at my house, he was just staring me right in the face. You know, he never broke eye contact with me. And at one point, I was like. He said something, and I was like, well, you're making me nervous. And he said, well, I'm trying to get you to calm down. He's like, your dogs are sensing your energy. So, I mean, I don't know a whole lot about you, but I do think that we might have something like that in common. That you probably are running on a really high energy, you think? And that the dogs were just sort of like, they need you to be calm and firm. And it was crazy. I had this dog, Ellie, and she would attack female dogs. That was her thing. She was like a mother rescue. And she had even, like, fallen off the cliff at the Hollywood sign. Had to have her legs, like, the bones fused and Rebuilt. She was in cast for, like, two years. And she was a bruiser bitch. I mean, she loved to go and get her some. Get on a female. But if there was a male dog, even a Chihuahua, she would. She would totally demure.

[John Lovett]

So not really a girl's girl.

[Missy Pyle]

Yeah, no, not really. And I could not. And I had another dog named J.J. who was a Dalmatian. He was really big. And they just. Just. They were. I was. I remember crying at the time, thinking. I remember there was one time we were. I was walking at my. In my neighborhood. I used to live in Beechwood. And they both. I had them on the leash. They were both probably about £70. And they jerked away from me and ran and, like, killed a squirrel immediately. That's funny to you?

[John Lovett]

Could be worse.

[Missy Pyle]

And I remember thinking, oh, my God. I sobbed on the street. I thought, I'm going to be 45 and still have these asshole dogs. And now I'm older than that and they've passed, but they were. When he walked in the room, they just, like. He went on a walk. They stood behind. They walked behind him. They'd never had. Wow. Like, I took them to, like, Canyon Ranch to train them. I took them to places.

[John Lovett]

Well, that's for people to do yoga, I think. I think that your problem. That's where divorcees have cottage cheese for a week to restart their lives.

[Missy Pyle]

It's a slightly different one, but probably they branched out.

[John Lovett]

Oh, different. Canyon Ranch.

[Missy Pyle]

This was a while ago. I don't know if it's still there.

[John Lovett]

There's one for dogs. Wow.

[Guy Branum]

You know, I think you should have maybe sent that female dog to Bryn Mawr to learn about some feminism so that she could support other female dogs.

[Missy Pyle]

That's true. Yeah. What a bitch.

[John Lovett]

Now, as you said, you were married to Casey Anderson, who's a naturalist and a filmmaker, and you did have a grizzly bear cub in your. Now, can we just show some of these pictures?

[Missy Pyle]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

These are not Photoshopped. These are Photoshop.

[Missy Pyle]

They're not Photoshopped.

[John Lovett]

Can we show another? You can. I mean, are you kidding? Are you kidding?

[Missy Pyle]

So that. So that room is. There's a sanctuary there, and they have, like. They have to go inside at night. So they had, like, three big enclosures for the bears, and behind the bear is a door that goes to those enclosures. But, yeah, he's just right there. There's Grizzly Greg on the left, who's. Now that TikTok is around, I think he's, like, got a big presence. And Amy, who lived There.

[John Lovett]

So. So can we. Do we have any more of the photos? Yeah.

[Missy Pyle]

So him in a hot tub with a bear. Yeah, I thought it was hot.

[Guy Branum]

Right.

[John Lovett]

So interesting. Hey, do you remember the revenant Leo makes getting eaten by a bear seem terrible in that film.

[Missy Pyle]

Yeah. Well, I remember I asked my friend Christine to be my maid of honor and she was like, I just hope that I'm not. Not walking down the aisle with a bear and I'm on my period.

[John Lovett]

Right. Because. Because I remember the film the Edge with Alec Baldwin and Anthony Hopkins and a character in that film gets eaten by a bear because he has a little cut on his leg.

[Missy Pyle]

Exactly.

[John Lovett]

And that sets really the. That's sort of the thing that sets off the whole film about the fight between man and bear and man and man.

[Missy Pyle]

This was the edge to my wedding.

[John Lovett]

And so, you know. Did you have any cold feet?

[Missy Pyle]

Oh, yeah. I mean, a week beforehand I was like, this is a terrible idea. And then I did it anyway. And my friend Christine also was like, I just feel like you're marrying a man who can't find a human to be his best man.

[John Lovett]

Right. You know, that's such an interesting second order concern. It's like my, like. Cause you might meet somebody and they might be the person for you and maybe they don't have a lot of good friends. You say, oh, that's a little bit of a relationship red flag. Separately, if there's also a fucking bear, you're not like.

[Missy Pyle]

He was like, well, the bear's my best friend. And I was like, okay. And then what you don't see is there's a line of like hot wire, but like a thin line that was never on. It was never on. And I think that might have been the day. That was the first time I got a high five from Brutus. And it was so like, I've seen him give Brutus a high five many times. So when he did to me, my

[John Lovett]

arm was like chabon.

[Missy Pyle]

And I was like, oh, this is a grizzly bear.

[John Lovett]

Right. And. And he did get eaten by the bear.

[Missy Pyle]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

That's so that. And that's how the marriage ended.

[Missy Pyle]

Wish. No, I'm kidding. No, he's not. No, it just was.

[John Lovett]

Did he ever say something like, I'll tell you what's grizzly dinner with my in laws. You're trying material out like that. When you were around the bear a lot.

[Missy Pyle]

The bear was.

[John Lovett]

I love my in laws.

[Missy Pyle]

You do? Oh, that's nice.

[John Lovett]

Just want to say that because I had that joke there about the grizzly in laws. But I love them, they're great. We're just new to being in laws. So I don't want to fuck it up this early on.

[Guy Branum]

How long have you been couple?

[John Lovett]

So I gotta, I wanna keep it nice and good for a while. Yeah, you know it definitely.

[Missy Pyle]

I guess, I mean indefinitely. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

That's be a nice relationship. Indefinitely.

[Guy Branum]

Yeah.

[Missy Pyle]

Just be yourself.

[John Lovett]

Was there any moment when the relationship was ending where you thought and obviously the bear will come with me.

[Missy Pyle]

I mean it would be kind of fun to bring the bear back to Los Angeles.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Guy Branum]

I have to imagine Montana divorces involve a lot of bear custody issues.

[John Lovett]

Thank you, Missy pie. When we come back, we're gonna talk more about. We're gonna really quiz people about the

[Missy Pyle]

various shenanigans I've been in.

[John Lovett]

Shenanigans you've been in. Yeah. And we'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or leave it coming up. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Quint. Summer days are always a little more relaxed. So when I open my closet, I find myself reaching for the same comfortable go anywhere clothes again and again. That's why I keep coming back to Quint's. They focus on well made essentials that naturally become those everyday staples you live in all season long. Quince is 100% European. Linen pants and shirts are breathable, easy to throw on. And the summer upgrade your rotation needs starting at just $34. Their tees are so soft you'll never want to take them off. And the lightweight cotton sweaters are exactly what you'd want when summer nights cool down. Everything at quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for exceptional quality, not brand markup. I've gotten great sheets from quints. I've gotten great sweats from quints. I even got a rug from Quince. It should just be a place you go and check when you're shopping for something online because you'll find like a high quality but affordable version at Quince. And great designs and sort of great taste make your summer wardrobe easier. Go to quince.com Love it for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Love it. For free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Love it it. And we're back oh. Now, Sterling Point is on prime video starting Wednesday, August 5th, but I want to now look backwards because you have been. First of all, we've had a lot of great actors on the show that have had incredibly varied careers. The current count on your IMDb is 211 appearances. You have been in 211 films.

[Missy Pyle]

I mean, I guess that's.

[John Lovett]

That's a lot. That's a lot. Like, you've been like. Like you. Like you have been hustling for. Since. From the. Seriously.

[Missy Pyle]

It's true. I mean, I have.

[John Lovett]

That is an incredible achievement. No, but like, to have been. To have been, like, consistently working for the better part of 30 years. Basically, yeah.

[Missy Pyle]

Except for the time that I moved to Montana with the bear, but that

[John Lovett]

was a different kind of work. Well, it's time for. Was I in this?

[Guy Branum]

Yay.

[John Lovett]

All right, here we go. First up, Missy gave Tony Shalhoub an Out of this World kiss as alien Laliari. Laliari in 1999's Galaxy Quest. True or false? True, True.

[Guy Branum]

True. Like, I completely forgot about it. And then you said it, and then what an indelible image that was. You were amazing in that movie.

[Missy Pyle]

Thank you very much. It was such an incredible. I mean, it was ridiculous. It was like my first first movie. And Steven Spielberg came to the set because it was. It was made by Dreamworks, and they realized that they didn't have another woman. I was only supposed to be in a couple of scenes. So that whole thing came because Stephen was like, oh, let's make her part bigger. Which. I mean, when does that ever happen?

[John Lovett]

Well, what if that's such a funny 1999 thing? Which is like, at the. It's like, you know, oh, Hollywood's made so much progress, but Steven Spielberg comes to set. He's like, we forgot to have the women talk. Come on, guys. We forgot to have the women talk.

[Missy Pyle]

And I don't talk. I mean, I really don't.

[John Lovett]

I mean, but you're amazing. Galaxy Quest. I feel like I've been an evangelist for Galaxy Quest since it came out. Because, just to be honest, I think because it starred Tim Allen and it was in the Home Improvement era, everyone thought, like, oh, it's Tim Allen. Like, he's not. Like. It's not. It's like something. It's like. It's like sitcom Y. And. No, Galaxy Quest is one of the best comedies of, like, of the last 30 years. Incredible.

[Missy Pyle]

Well, so Harold Ramis was initially gonna direct it, and he wanted Kevin Kline. And then when they Wanted Tim Allen. He was like, I won't do this. From my understanding, it could be bullshit, but. And then Tim Allen is so perfect. He's so perfect because he is this, like, washed up TV actor and who is all of a sudden, like, being like, taken on a journey like, you're the captain. Come save us. And he rises to the occasion.

[Guy Branum]

Also, giving Sigourney Weaver slightly, not enough to do is amazing because she takes that role and she does stuff with it that. No.

[Missy Pyle]

Yeah. She's like. She has nothing to do but to repeat the computer. And at one point, Daryl Mitchell is like, that's really annoying. She's got like, I've got one job on this ship. It's stupid, but I'm gonna do it.

[John Lovett]

What was Alan Rickman like on that during that movie?

[Missy Pyle]

Alan Rickman is like, you know, here's one of the things. When you're on a big movie set and you're with big stars, lunch happens. They go straight to their trailers, right? So the rest of them would go. Tim would go. Sigourney would go, you know, Sam, Rock. They would all go to their trailers, but Alan would go get his lunch and come sit with the Thermians. It was so sweet.

[John Lovett]

He's great in that movie too, and he's so great.

[Missy Pyle]

And he's just a kind human being. And then, like, I went to. I don't think he thought of himself necessarily as like a big star. And he was such an open, kind person. And I do think it would drive him crazy because was Tim Allen and Daryl Mitchell and Sam Rockwell. Like, it would be like rolling, where they would roll the sound speed right before you're about to take. And then someone would go, like, one of them would just do a fart noise, you know, and just be like,

[John Lovett]

oh, for God's sake, what's it. It's funny that everybody was their character. I mean, that is. You have, like. You have, you know, Sigourney Weaver playing this sort of floozies type character, annoyed about Alan Rickman. This series Shakespearean actor, Tim Allen, a tv. That's so funny how much it mirrored what they were all like.

[Missy Pyle]

Such a good film. And the film is written, I believe the screenplay is written by Robert Gordon, and it was originally written by somebody else and they wanted a new screenplay. And Robert Gordon, he didn't even. He didn't even read the first script. They just gave him the story and he came up with it. And I think if you haven't seen it, is truly one of the most Infinitely watchable movies. Like almost every scene is perfect.

[John Lovett]

Next question. Missy played tax lawyer turned dodgeball player Kate Vaech in Ben Stiller's Dodgeball. A true underdog story. True or false?

[Guy Branum]

False.

[John Lovett]

That was Christine Taylor.

[Missy Pyle]

You played France Dalinoskovich Davidovichky.

[John Lovett]

Say, wait, say one more time.

[Missy Pyle]

France Dalinoskovich Davidov.

[John Lovett]

Wow. You just threw it away.

[Missy Pyle]

From Romanovia.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, from Romanovia.

[Missy Pyle]

Romanovia. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

That's also. I also like that idea of like a. Is that a made up place? Sounds like a made up place.

[Missy Pyle]

Yeah, it's totally made up. And like initially when I read it, you know that in the first version they were. She was a robot. And then. And then they had this like scene where you meet her and like never those old. It was like an old cartoon maybe from the Looney Tunes where like, you know, the woman would. Would you go up her legs and there'd be the sexy music and like you see a nice butt, nice boobs, and then her face, she'd go, ah. And that was kind of the idea like a man, you know. That was her. Remember that?

[John Lovett]

That was good. I like that.

[Missy Pyle]

That's who I am on the inside.

[John Lovett]

Well, that like sort of you were. And so like in multiple different things, it was like, like we need someone that is hot but also maybe a little weird and then a little weirdly hot. Get me Missy Pyle.

[Missy Pyle]

I couldn't book anything straight to save my life. Like anything that was like a romantic lead. I mean, I tried really hard and I never like, I tried. I auditioned for party of five. Remember that? Like those shows, like, I don't know, 25 times. They never cast me. It was just too weird. And if it was weird, I was like, I get it, I understand it. They'd be like, don't do that thing with your eyes, you know? And I was like, I'm just being me. You know,

[John Lovett]

this town, Tollywood. Here's another question. Missy played the first lady on a little sitcom called 1600. Pen. True or false? Wow. Just deafening silence. Not fans of the one season hit failure. 1600.

[Missy Pyle]

How do you.

[Guy Branum]

Created by multi hyphenate John Lovett.

[John Lovett]

Created by me. Co created. That's actually false. As you all know. Missy played Secret Service agent Sarah Harlan.

[Missy Pyle]

Yes. Do you remember that? I loved it. It was so cool.

[John Lovett]

What are some of your favorite memories from 1600, Ben?

[Missy Pyle]

Just kind of being like this, you know? Yeah. I mean, it was fun.

[John Lovett]

You don't remember a thing about it.

[Missy Pyle]

It's so long ago. I do remember playing the character I Remember Josh Gad. Jason Weiner, who I actually did. Did he direct that episode?

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Missy Pyle]

Yeah. So Jason Weiner and I had done two improv pilots that were so fun, and one of them got picked up by, I think it was, you know, Disney. Whoever owned somebody had just bought Disney, and then it got picked up that day, and then they canceled it by the afternoon because Disney had. Hollywood said, forget it. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Final question. True or false? Octavia Spencer struck Missy down as the villainous Dr. Evolini on Disney's the Wizards of Waverly Place. True or false? False. However, Octavia Spencer did run Missy down with her car as the titular villain in the 2019 horror film Ma. This also, to me, is up there in the pantheon of great parts of a movie where somebody gets hit by a car. And I do want to show you what I do believe is the current leader in the genre. And it is from the film Meet Joe Black. Do you remember that? Vaguely guy. Do you remember that?

[Guy Branum]

Is that real?

[John Lovett]

Yeah. No, I mean, is it real? Like, is it.

[Missy Pyle]

Yeah, that was. That was Brad Pitt.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, Brad Pitt. That's when Brad Pitt died.

[Guy Branum]

No.

[Missy Pyle]

Can we just.

[Guy Branum]

In that I did not last all two hours of Meet Joe Black.

[John Lovett]

So I will just say you. If that you made it that far, maybe you've blocked it out, but that is the inciting incident of the movie. Because thereafter, he's a different person. And he starts his death himself and does use, soon after this, a Jamaican accent. Oh, yeah, the 90s. It's okay because he's a cow. That's really had a Jamaican accent for part of it. Just a scene that comes insane.

[Guy Branum]

All right, but did you ask Missy that many questions about her career and not mention the best picture that she was in?

[John Lovett]

Why don't. I was gonna get there next, but why don't you do it?

[Guy Branum]

You were in the Artist.

[Missy Pyle]

You were in the Artist. That's like, what does anybody know about the Artist? The silent film by Jean Dujardin? Well, Jean Dujardin and Michael Hasden officias.

[Guy Branum]

What an amazing use of your skills. Like, what an amazing use of, like, as somebody, like in that scene from Ma. Like, beautiful, gorgeous woman, but, like, with personality enough that, like, memorable and you identify it. And, like, putting you in something where you had to play a silent film actress, I just think was brilliant.

[Missy Pyle]

Fucking. I love you so much. What's.

[John Lovett]

You took the words out of my mouth.

[Missy Pyle]

I was in Montana, living in the Geodome. I'd come back to do, like, maybe. I don't know. Maybe I'd done 13, 16 under pen. Sorry. And I was in town, and I got this audition, and I was like, what is this? You know? And I went in to audition for the wife of Jean Desjardins, who's the main character. It's about tap dancing. And, you know, he's like a Hollywood star who sort of collapses. And it's a beautiful film, but, I mean, nobody thought this film was gonna do anything, right? And there were no dialogue. And then I get there, and I was auditioning for his wife, the character that Penelope Ann Miller ended up playing. And I get there, and I stand in the room, and I'm like, you know, doing my audition. And I'm like, okay, here we go. And I start. I was like. And the casting director was like, no, you can talk. We're just not gonna record the dialogue. And I was like, oh, okay. Cause I was. And what's ironic? And then I get to work. I think I'm playing the wife. They're like, you're playing the actress? I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm an actor. I was like, what are they doing? I mean, they're calling me an actor. And I get there, and I'm not playing that part. But because there were no lines to learn, I didn't have to. I didn't just played a different character.

[John Lovett]

What a dream. It was. No lines to learn.

[Missy Pyle]

No. Except for there was one day. There's a moment in the film where I'm acting because my character's made. My character actually is named Constance Zimmer, who's a friend of mine, this other amazing actress, Constance Zimmer, and she's married to John Goodman. And at one point, the director, Michael has Novicius, comes to me, missy, we need you to do the Shakespearean monologue from Romeo and Juliet. And I was like. And this is, like, after lunch. And I was like, okay, I'm doing a silent movie, and now you're asking me to just, like, from the top of my head, do the. Oh, Romeo, Romeo. Wherefore at that Romeo. Which is. Everybody knows that monologue. So I had to. I was in my. I was in the. Like. You were trying to learn Shakespeare. Isn't that crazy? So dumb.

[John Lovett]

Hollywood.

[Missy Pyle]

Hollywood.

[John Lovett]

Thank you, Missy and Guy. We'll be right back. And we're back. Now it's time to end our evening with a segment we call Second Thoughts, Missy and Guy. The show's producers have handed me a list of things I said or did tonight that they think I shouldn't have said or done. We're gonna see if we agree with them. Also, if you have any second thoughts from this evening, now is the time. This is the point where we think, even in the last hour, were there things that we would have done differently? Have we changed and grown while being here or. You know, I'll go first. I accidentally wrote that novel about Lindsey Graham's Mar a Lago heaven, which you all sat through silently. Nope, I stand by it. That was good stuff. I shouldn't have said that the base would be bottom gun. I should have said bottom gun. I said it goes without saying that it's wrong to throw your phone at someone after saying it two to three times.

[Guy Branum]

I think that's good comedy.

[John Lovett]

I accuse guy of being beholden to big prune.

[Guy Branum]

I admit, hey, that's just you acknowledging political realities. Yeah, okay.

[John Lovett]

That's just how I'm just, you know, cui bono? You know, follow the money.

[Missy Pyle]

But at least she didn't call you

[John Lovett]

a big prune, you big prune. Look, that's something that Blanche would call Dorothy. Yes, on Golden Girls. Shut up, you big prune. You slut. You whore. We're friends.

[Guy Branum]

I'm visibly very ripe. If at any point in time the GLP1 drugs work enough that I do get wrinkly, then we can call me a big prune.

[John Lovett]

Right? So we're still living in the plum zone.

[Guy Branum]

We're still in the plum zone.

[John Lovett]

I admitted to my lack of interest in other people on the talk show that I host. I sounded too surprised. That guy was valedictorian. I brought Stalin into this Pretty long Star Trek tangent, huh?

[Guy Branum]

How dare they.

[John Lovett]

Shut up. How dare they. Get out of here. Where's my phone? Throw your phones at yourselves, missy. I responded to your description of your new show with cool.

[Missy Pyle]

You did? You didn't ask any follow up questions?

[John Lovett]

I did. I did. I asked you. Is that the name of the island?

[Missy Pyle]

It's a really fun show.

[John Lovett]

It's a great show. Sterling point. I see young people getting an eye

[Missy Pyle]

line, finding out new things.

[John Lovett]

You play a real estate mogul at

[Missy Pyle]

one point, I take a hot a balloon and I suck the helium out and sing a song. Wow.

[John Lovett]

Sort of getting typecast with also what you did during when you played the horny divorcee, you know, basically. So it's interesting to think about that. I said the words, why not just throw your own nipple out there?

[Missy Pyle]

It's 2026. Oh.

[John Lovett]

Oh, good news. You get a. This is a rare thing. There's a Kudos here. That's when a Rare. Kudos. And it is simply not for me. It is for you, Missy Pyle. Oh, kudos for Missy. Correctly diagnosing that Lovett's anxiety is the problem with his dog.

[Missy Pyle]

I mean, honestly, it is.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. I showed you getting hit by a car in ma.

[Missy Pyle]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Was that an intro? What's that day like?

[Missy Pyle]

It's pretty great, you know, and I think the song that they play after that get got nominated for, like, best song in a movie. And at one point, my daughter, I think she was so. She was born in 2015, and I was watching the video that my friend who Tate Taylor's director sent to me, and she's looking over my shoulder as she sees me get hit by a car, and she started to cry, and I was like, oh, that was not as great of a parenting move as I could have, but it was fun. There was a dummy dressed up like me. I think I have some pictures of. I didn't bring them, of course, but of me and the dummy.

[John Lovett]

And that's our show. Thank you so much to Guy Brown and Missy pyle. There are 97 days until the midterms. We'll be back Friday with Daveed Diggs and Anthony Michael Hall. Thank you all so much for being here. Have a good night. Love it or Leave it is a Cricket Media production. Our show is produced by Kendra James, Bill McGrath, Kelsey Gante, and me, John Lovett. Our production team includes Hallie Kiefer, Sarah Lass Lazarus, Rahman Borsalino, Peter Miller, David Toles, Claudia Shang, Jay Banks, Gavin Purcell, and Matt de Groat. And our staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America.