Get Ostrich or Die Trying

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Get Ostrich or Die Trying" – Lovett or Leave It
Host: Jon Lovett
Guest: Senator Adam Schiff
Release Date: May 31, 2025

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Introduction

In the "Get Ostrich or Die Trying" episode of Lovett or Leave It, Jon Lovett delves deep into the tumultuous political landscape shaped by former President Donald Trump’s actions and the Democratic response. The episode features a compelling interview with Senator Adam Schiff, alongside segments with co-hosts Joe Firestone, Josh Sharp, and Devin Walker, who bring humor and sharp commentary to current events.

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Political Analysis

Trump’s Military Parade and Tariff Policies [03:00 - 07:30]

Jon Lovett kicks off the episode by dissecting Trump’s proposed military parade celebrating his birthday, which the Army clarifies is actually commemorating the 250th anniversary of the Continental Army. Jon humorously notes the extravagant costs and logistics, highlighting the misuse of military resources:

“...parade is not a Trump birthday celebration, however, but it is in fact a commemoration of the 250th anniversary of the founding of the Continental Army.” ([04:00])

Lovett critiques Trump's tariff strategies, referencing a CNBC reporter’s coinage of the term "taco trade," mocking Trump's inconsistent tariff threats:

“I kick out.” ([03:47])

He further underscores the ineffectiveness of Trump's tariffs, which were blocked by judges, leading to hefty losses:

“...blocked Trump from imposing worldwide and retaliatory tariffs using emergency powers.” ([07:30])

Immigration and Deportation Issues [07:30 - 10:22]

The discussion shifts to immigration, focusing on the harrowing case of Carol Hui, a Missouri mother facing deportation to Hong Kong despite being a U.S. citizen's parent:

“...no one voted to deport moms. We were all under the impression we were just getting rid of the gangs...” ([05:30])

Jon also highlights the Trump administration’s crackdown on wrongful deportations, emphasizing the emotional and social repercussions:

“He is going to be so disappointed in the target pride collection when he gets back.” ([06:00])

RFK Jr. and Public Health Claims [09:04 - 10:59]

RFK Jr. emerges as a controversial figure, with Jon critiquing his removal of the COVID vaccine from the CDC’s recommended schedule and his claims against vaccines:

“It's all part of Trump's campaign promise to revitalize domestic manufacturing of tiny coffins.” ([09:04])

Jon sarcastically remarks on the fabricated sources within RFK Jr.’s reports, highlighting their lack of credibility:

“...all these sources just made up.” ([10:59])

Elon Musk's Departure and J.K. Rowling’s Activism [12:23 - 14:00]

The episode covers Elon Musk’s exit from the Trump administration, with Lovett mocking his departure:

“Don't cry because it's over, barf because it happened.” ([13:00])

J.K. Rowling’s controversial stance on transgender women’s rights in sports is also discussed, with Lovett criticizing her comments and actions:

“She told reporters in Harry Potter, the Goblins are Jews. Unrelated why she would just bring that up out of nowhere.” ([14:00])

Law Firms Cancelling Contracts with Harvard [14:00 - 16:00]

Jon addresses the Trump administration’s directive to cancel federal contracts with Harvard, critiquing the administration's hostility towards educational institutions:

“Trump has a backup plan for all of these law firms. Oh no, it's a swan.” ([12:23])

He underscores the tension between government and academia, emphasizing the importance of institutional resistance.

Technological and Environmental Concerns [16:00 - 21:00]

The conversation shifts to environmental issues, highlighting cross-breeding destructive termite species in South Florida and the rise of driverless trucks in Texas:

“Scientists have reported that two of the world's most destructive, invasive kinds of termites have started cross breeding in South Florida...” ([16:00])

Jon humorously critiques the lack of regulation in driverless technology:

“They just arrive and you're like, where did these bones come from?” ([21:00])

Additionally, the European Space Agency's symbolic message to space and Jeff Bezos’s announcement to launch women into space are discussed with Lovett’s signature humor:

“Not to be outdone, Jeff Bezos announced that Blue Origin will launch another 50 or 60 women into space...” ([21:00])

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Interview with Senator Adam Schiff [19:07 - 36:10]

Topic: Trump’s Autocratic Tendencies and Democratic Resistance

Key Discussions:

1. Military Parade as Autocratic Display [25:33 - 27:34] Senator Schiff expresses horror over Trump’s military parade, comparing it to displays by despots like Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin:

   “This is a celebration of the President and his power, and that makes it fundamentally different.” ([25:33])

2. Unrestrained Executive Power [27:34 - 29:35] The conversation delves into Trump’s disregard for separation of powers, with Schiff highlighting alarming examples like unilateral decisions on state flag protocols:

   “I remember during the first impeachment...he is not who we are.” ([31:59])

3. Capitulation vs. Resistance [34:15 - 36:10] Schiff discusses the importance of institutions like Harvard and law firms standing up against Trump’s influence, emphasizing that capitulation only empowers him further:

   “Our press has to be stronger, tougher than that. Our companies can't capitulate.” ([36:10])

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Comedic Segments and Audience Interaction [36:10 - 85:18]

The co-hosts—Joe Firestone, Josh Sharp, and Devin Walker—bring levity to the episode with humorous takes on various topics:

1. Roasting Life’s Mysteries [46:23 - 76:09]

   • "Life in the Faust Lane" Segment: Co-hosts present fictional "deals with the devil," such as vegan cheese that makes you hear a baby crying or Los Angeles arc lights only playing Marvel movies.

   “Vegan cheese finally tastes like cheese, but every time you eat it, you hear a baby crying.” ([39:40])

2. Entertainment and Pop Culture [47:00 - 70:13]

   • Tom Cruise's Stunts: Laughing over Cruise’s extreme promotional activities for his movies.

   “He does not want to say any more about that.” ([54:35])

3. Audience Roasting [73:47 - 85:18]

   • "Love it or Leave Grill Marks": Live audience members share stories to be humorously roasted by the hosts, fostering interactive and entertaining dialogue.

   “If your wife won't let you touch her, why do you think a stranger would be interested?” ([79:35])

Throughout these segments, the hosts employ sharp wit and playful banter, keeping the tone engaging and entertaining.

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Conclusion and Upcoming Events [85:18 - 88:06]

Jon Lovett wraps up the episode by promoting upcoming events, including a Pride show in Los Angeles featuring notable guests like Joel Kim, Booster Clea Duvall, and Sabrina Wu. He encourages listeners to attend and participate in community fundraisers supporting individuals facing persecution in El Salvador.

“We'll be doing a rally during the day, we'll be doing the event at night. So if you're in D.C. or around D.C. come to the show.” ([73:32])

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Notable Quotes

• Jon Lovett on Trump’s Tariffs:
  “I kick out.” ([03:47])

• Adam Schiff on Trump’s Military Parade:
  “This is a celebration of the President and his power, and that makes it fundamentally different.” ([25:33])

• Jon Lovett on Capitol Law Firms:
  “Our press has to be stronger, tougher than that. Our companies can't capitulate.” ([36:10])

• Comedy Segment on Vegan Cheese:
  “Vegan cheese finally tastes like cheese, but every time you eat it, you hear a baby crying.” ([39:40])

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Key Takeaways

• Democratic Resistance: The episode underscores the importance of institutional resistance against Trump’s overreach, highlighting successes and ongoing challenges.

• Political Accountability: Emphasizes holding public figures and corporations accountable to preserve democratic integrity.

• Humor as a Coping Mechanism: The comedic segments provide a balanced approach to discussing heavy political topics, making the content accessible and engaging.

• Community Engagement: Promotion of upcoming events and fundraisers illustrates the podcast’s commitment to actionable support and community involvement.

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This episode of Lovett or Leave It masterfully blends political analysis with humor, providing listeners with insightful commentary on pressing issues while keeping the atmosphere light and entertaining. Whether you're a political junkie or just seeking some laughs, "Get Ostrich or Die Trying" offers a comprehensive and enjoyable listening experience.

Transcript

[Jon Lovett]

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[Dan Pfeiffer]

A new term called the taco trade. They're saying Trump always chickens out on your tariff threats and that's why markets are higher this week.

[Jon Lovett]

What's your response to that?

[Donald Trump]

I kick out.

[Jon Lovett]

Chicken out.

[Donald Trump]

Oh, isn't that chicken out? I've never heard that. You mean because I reduced China from 145% that I set down to 100 and then down to another number and I said you have to open up your whole country and because I, I gave the European Union a 50% tax tariff and they called up and they said, please, let's meet right now. Please, let's meet right now. You call that chickening out?

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah, but here's the thing. Don't tell him about this. It's good when he chickens out. Don't make him self conscious about it. You don't complain when Shamu unclenches his jaw and lets the trainer scramble back up to the surface to breathe. You throw Shamu a herring and thank God it's over. Don't dare him to not chicken out. Chickening out is all we have from this fucking guy. It's amazing that he does it. It's his best move. Later that evening at the Court of International Trade, which we all knew existed, three judges, a Reagan appointee, a Trump appointee and an Obama appointee blocked Trump from imposing worldwide and retaliatory tariffs using emergency powers. So bye bye tariffs, hello, $14 tuxedo that catches fire if I stand in front of the microwave. Speaking of unpleasant journeys, we learned this week that a woman named Carol Hui, a Missouri mother of three American citizens, is currently jailed ahead of her deportation back to Hong Kong. To the shock of her conservative neighbors in Kennett, Missouri. Remember shock? Her employer, John's Waffle and Pancake House, only knew she had been arrested when she failed to show up for her shift. That is a reliable person. If I got arrested, it would take at least a week for this team to stop rolling their fucking eyes long enough to wonder if something was wrong. A church friend of Wade told the Times. I voted for Donald Trump and so did practically everyone here. But no one voted to deport moms. We were all under the impression we were just getting rid of the gangs, the people who came here in droves. We were trying to light a cleansing fire. It's like driving your car into a Pilates studio. Horrified to discover you hit someone other than your ex wife at the same time. The administration filed documents on Wednesday revealing plans to retrieve a wrongly deported Guatemalan man after a federal judge demanded last Friday that they take all immediate steps to bring him back. Looks like those ghosts I hired have started to show them their Christmas futures. There we go. Yeah. Thank you. Shut up. The man was deported to Mexico, then Guatemala, after previously fleeing both countries due to persecution for being gay. He. He is going to be so disappointed in the target pride collection when he gets back. In other news, the Trump administration has directed federal agencies to cancel all remaining contracts with Harvard, amounting to an estimated $100 million. These numbers can be a little bit hard to grasp, but that's somewhere between two and four Trump birthday parades. On Monday, Trump wrote on Truth Social, I am considering taking $3 billion of grant money away from a very anti Semitic Harvard and giving it to trade schools all across the land. He's going to be pretty mad when the New England H VAC Academy finally has the funds to start that gender studies program. Ah, hoisted by his own petard, said White House press secretary Carolyn Levitt.

[Dan Pfeiffer]

Electricians, plumbers. We need more of those in our country and less LGBTQ graduate majors from Harvard University.

[Jon Lovett]

That should be fewer LGBTQ graduate majors. All right, sorry. I see why they won. Unfortunately, I am gonna have to go a little bipartisan on this one. Clearly, what we need is more gay plumbers. Nobody knows more about keeping the pipes clean. And by the way, we need lesbian forklift operators because I just think those bitches would be good at it. Meanwhile, the State Department confirmed that it paused all new foreign student visa interviews while it expanded its scrutiny of potential students social media accounts. Some slob at the State Department just clicking through thirst trap after thirst trap, zooming in on butterfly tattoos and tagging It Hamas still. Good day to be on the waitlist. You know there's like a super, super anti Trump wait listed kid at Harvard being like, what he's doing is so terrible. Somebody stop him from keeping all these students out of Harvard. It's wrong. I don't want it like this. It won't feel right. On Tuesday, RFK Jr. Posted a video with an update about the COVID vaccine. I couldn't be more pleased to announce that as of today, the COVID vaccine.

[Carolyn Levitt]

For healthy children and healthy pregnant women.

[Jon Lovett]

Has been removed from the CDC recommended immunization schedule. It's all part of Trump's campaign promise to revitalize domestic manufacturing of tiny coffins. You're so fucking predictable, sweet souls. Also this week, RFK Jr. Threatened to prevent government scientists from publishing in certain scientific journals, claiming the federal government can always make their own. So look forward to this month's Federal Science Quarterly. Can mothers having careers turn their babies gay? The answer is grass fed beef. Also this week, the White House released their RFK junior led Make America Healthy Again report on children's health, pointing quite reasonably to social media, ultra processed foods and synthetic chemicals as a source of many childhood mental and physical health problems. But that's what's dangerous about Kennedy. He's an unreliable kook who does say some true things, like if chatgpt swallowed a big bag of gravel. The report also makes unsubstantiated claims about vaccines and experts discovered that. The report cites seven sources that seem to be just completely made up. They don't exist.

[Dan Pfeiffer]

A notice investigation found that the hallmark MAHA Commission report that was released last week cites studies that appear to not exist. Does the White House have confidence that the information coming from HHS can be trusted? Yes, we have complete confidence in Secretary Kennedy and his team at hhs. I understand there were some formatting issues with the MAHA report that are being addressed and the report will be updated, but it does not negate the substance of the report. Can you talk about what tools or research goes into production of these? For instance, is it AI that's used to put together these reports now? I can't speak to that.

[Jon Lovett]

Sorry about that little formatting issue. I say to my guests when they ask why my birthday cake says 35 on it. They're just fucking plugging shit. These dumb asses are just plugging shit into ChatGPT like a fucking stupid. It's like amazing. It's amazing. And when nobody's checking it, like, look, all these sources just made up. But that is not the strangest story out of Kennedy's HHS this week, RFK Jr. And the head of the center for Medicare and Medicaid Services, who is of course Dr. Oz, offered to import a flock of 300 ostriches from Canada to Oz's Florida ranch after the Canadian government ruled that the birds had to be put down to prevent the spread of bird flu. In British Columbia, 69 members of the flock died earlier this year from the disease. Now, a lot of people don't know this, but Dr. Oz is actually short for Dr. Ostrich Pestilence. And say what you will, but these guys make a great team. I'm sorry, I had something in my throat. They make a great teeming throng of diseased ostriches. Speaking of dangerous flocks, after issuing a slew of unsavory pardons this week for a sheriff convicted of bribery and a reality show couple convicted of fraud, Trump mused about pardoning a few more interesting characters. Will you pardon the people who are accused of conspiring to kidnap Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer?

[Donald Trump]

I'm going to look at it. I will take a look at it. It's been brought to my attention. I did watch the trial. It looked to me like somewhat of a railroad job. I'll be honest with you. It looked to me like some people said some stupid things. You know, they were drinking and I think they said stupid things.

[Jon Lovett]

Who among us has had one too many glasses of wine and participated in a plot with a paramilitary group to overthrow the Michigan state government? Whitmer said Thursday that she was, quote, very disappointed that Trump was considering a pardon for her would be kidnappers, which is an insane word choice. The president is thinking about pardoning men who plotted to abduct you and you're disappointed you're me when the gas station doesn't have muddy buddies. Check mix. You and Trump hugged like a month ago. Be madder. I've seen you more angry about a foul by Ohio State. They could have fucking killed you. Disappointed. So you expected better. Why? Also this week, FBI Deputy Director Dan Bongino FBI Deputy Director Dan Bongino announced that the agency will investigate a number of unsolved Biden era scandals, including who left the bag of cocaine found at the Biden White House in July of 2023. And we tested it. It's definitely cocaine. Shouted Pete Hegseth into the ear of a woman who can't stay because she's here with her friends. On Sunday, Trump posted a photo of a man being attacked by a swan at one of his golf courses with the caption I always said golf can be a dangerous sport my friend being bit at Bedminster. I'm sorry but that is just funny. Looks like that swan got a hole in one one penis. A federal judge on Tuesday struck down Trump's executive order targeting the law firm Wilmer Hale, marking the third consecutive win for the firms that have fought back against the administration instead of cutting a deal. But rest assured, Trump has a backup plan for all of these law firms. Oh no, it's a swan. Speaking of swan songs, on Wednesday, Elon Musk bid adieu to the Trump administration as his 130 day tenure rampage comes to an end. Don't cry because it's over, barf because it happened, musk posted on Axe Wednesday. The Doge mission will only strengthen over time as it becomes a way of life throughout the government. Musk said he was ultimately leaving the administration to spend less time with his family. Across the pond, J.K. rowling she her announced this week that she will provide legal funding from her billion dollar fortune to undermine trans women's rights in sports. If you're still in line to have your Ravenclaw tattoo lasered off, stay in line. When asked how much funding she'd direct to the organization, Rowling told reporters in Harry Potter, the Goblins are Jews. Unrelated why she would just bring that up out of nowhere. It's a strange thing to bring up. In other legal news, a former employee of Sean Combs testified that he showed up at her door with a gun and told her, get dressed. We're going to go kill Kid Cudi, who was dating Diddy's longtime on again, off again girlfriend, Cassie. When I read stories like this, I can't help but think to myself, damn, I'm a pretty good boss. Scientists have reported that two of the world's most destructive, invasive kinds of termites have started cross breeding in South Florida, creating a new and potentially even more destructive termite population. To them, I say this Mar A Lago beach club is about 75 miles north of downtown Miami, an hour and 40 minutes by car on the Florida Turnpike. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best, and start with the columns. You are our strongest soldiers. Driverless 18 wheelers are now delivering goods across North Texas, the New York Times has reported. Despite the industry being basically unregulated now, people are worried that this will eliminate jobs. But for every one driver position eliminated, there's a job for somebody to wash the blood and gore off the grill and another person to go search the route for the victim's shoes and stuff. You have to embrace change. You can't be afraid of it. It's two jobs. Because you won't know where the shoes are because the car won't know. You know, a human driver stops. Not these trucks. They just arrive and you're like, where did these bones come from? A Delta flight was delayed twice when the crew tried to remove two confused pigeons from the cabin. The pigeons were eventually returned to their natural habitat, a Spirit Airlines cabin. Okay, all right, you're on board. They announce that they can't leave until the pigeon is removed. It's flying around. Nobody can grab it. You happen to be reading a hardbound copy of Stephen King's thousand page opus, the Stand, as the pilot comes on the intercom to say, if they can't get this bird off the plane in the next 10 minutes, the crew times out and the flight will be canceled along with your chances of making your sister's wedding after your parents begged you to take an earlier fight. Okay, the pigeon lands in the aisle next to you. You smashing that bird? Who's a yes, who's a no? Who's a no? Because you don't think you have the stomach for it. Who's a no that would wish somebody else would fucking kill it for you. Disgusting. And finally, the European Space Agency will beam Strauss's Blue Danube Waltz into space this weekend to celebrate the 200th anniversary of the composer's birthday. Explained a spokesperson, if there is intelligent life out there in the cosmos, this is just our way to say to them, we hope you like royalty free music. Not to be outdone, Jeff Bezos announced that Blue Origin will launch another 50 or 60 women into space, as many as he can cram into the capsule. Coming up next, it's Senator Adam Schiff. Be right back.

[Adam Schiff]

Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up.

[Jon Lovett]

Love it or Leave it is brought to you by stamps.com Talk about why flexibility in when and how you get tasked on is important to you. Boy, I gotta be flexible when I get my tasks done. This morning, Jon and I recorded an episode of Jon Stewart's podcast. It was 8am early for me, late for John, but got right smack in the heart of my Pilates time. So I went after the horrors. So I went after you gotta be flexible if you wanna get your Pilates in, you gotta get your Wednesday morning Pilates in. Yeah, you gotta get them in. That's why you gotta be flexible. Stamps.com will help you be flexible. You can decide when to invest your time, like focusing on the important parts of the business that only you can do, like pilates. Pilates with stamps.com tedious tasks like sending certified mail, invoices, checks or documents and packages can be done on your time, not someone else's. Stamps.com simplifies your postage needs and adds valuable flexibility back into your workday. I had to get back for a meeting. Imagine if I'd had to go to the post office. I could not have done the interview, Pilates and the post Office visit with enough time to get back from my interview with Tim Miller to promote our fundraiser. Wow. Wow. Access all the USPS and UPS services you need to run your business right from your computer or phone, anytime, day or night. No lines, no traffic, no waiting. Seamlessly connect with every major marketplace and shopping cart. If you sell products online, all you need is a computer and a printer. They even send you a free scale. Easily schedule package pickups through your stamps.com dashboard automatically see your cheapest and fastest shipping options from different carriers. Get rates you won't see anywhere else, like up to 88% off USPS and UPS. What's Pundit doing over there?

[Adam Schiff]

Just rolling around, Having to having the time of relax.

[Jon Lovett]

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[Carolyn Levitt]

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[Jon Lovett]

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[Carolyn Levitt]

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[Jon Lovett]

And we're back. Hey, if you're hearing this, there are just a few tickets left for the World Pride show that we're doing in D.C. on June 6, Friday night at the Lincoln Theater. We were just there. We're glad to be coming back. We're doing a fundraiser with Tim Miller and Sarah Longwell of the Bulwark to raise money for the defense of Andre Hernandez Romero and a bunch of other people who have been disappeared to El Salvador. We gotta keep attention on this. We'll be doing a rally during the day, we'll be doing the event at night. So if you're in D.C. or around D.C. come to the show. And also we'll be tweeting out ways that you can support this fundraiser as well, if you can't. And then this show will go out on Sunday on the Pod Save America feed, so you can hear it there. It's going to be fun. We have some great guests lined up. All right, Please welcome the Sage, the man the Red Hot Chili Peppers wrote all their songs about. That's right. It's California's own Senator Adam Schiff. Hi, Senator. Good to see you. Welcome.

[Josh Sharp]

Good to see you.

[Jon Lovett]

It's. I believe this. We were saying back, this is the first time I've seen you since you've become a center. We talked on Zoom or on video, but this is the first time I've seen you in person since you left behind those fucking little dweebs in the house. Those absolute fucking nobodies. That must feel nice to say goodbye to those losers.

[Josh Sharp]

It does, actually. During. I think of a few particular losers. During the State of the Union, for example, when I walked into the chamber, there was Anna Paulina Luna, who her first three out of four bills were attacking me. So one of them was the censor resolution. So I'm walking down the aisle and she looks over at me because, of course, she's right up against the aisle. She has to be there to say hello to her hero, Donald Trump, when he walks in and she says very angrily, you're in the Senate now. And I said, yes, and I guess I should thank you for that. And she says, you'll go down in history. And I was like, I hope so.

[Jon Lovett]

Got her. Now, speaking of your antagonist, did you see what former governor and pardoned felon Rod Blagojevich called you? He said you were the Elvis of liars on Fox News this week. Let's roll the clip. And the king of the Democratic liars is Adam Schiff. If there was a Hall of Fame for liars like there is, let's say, a Rock and Roll hall of Fame, Adam Schiff would be Elvis. Wow. Now, he was removed from office. He served nearly eight years in prison, I believe, for being convicted for trying to sell Obama's vacant Senate seat. But his sentence was commuted by Trump. What's your reaction to this hall of Fame induction?

[Josh Sharp]

Well, I was gonna say I've always wanted to be in the Rock and Roll hall of Fame or in the same sentence with Elvis, but, I mean, this is so typical. First of all, of Trump's abuse of the pardon power and the commutation power and all the rest of that. Basically, if you're a convicted felon, all you have to do is say nice things about Donald Trump to get a pass. But these folks either have no sense of self awareness. It's like Don Jr. Attacking Hunter Biden saying you shouldn't traffic on your father's family name, or they just, you know, they're just following the example of Donald Trump and it's just shameless attacking over the top stuff and damn the consequences.

[Jon Lovett]

So we're having a military parade on the President's birthday. It's very cool, very America with juche characteristics. You know what I mean? It's very North Korean. Like, I'm embarrassed about it and mad about it. Also just surprised that all it took was for there to be a president who didn't appreciate why we didn't do those kinds of things. And now we're doing those kinds of things. What's your reaction to it?

[Josh Sharp]

Well, I'm horrified by it. And we see really how much Trump 2.0 is so much worse than Trump 1.0. Trump wanted to do this in his first administration and the mayor of D.C. at the time because among other things, this would destroy the roads to have these tanks going down the streets in Washington D.C. famously said, or tweeted tanks, but no tanks. But now they're. Now there's no protest to it because the District of Columbia has to worry about the President of the United States essentially trashing the District, withholding any kind of funding or using other federal means to disenfranchise further the people in the District of Columbia. And it just shows how much danger there is from this now unrestrained executive. But the idea that we're going to have this vanity show, this military vanity show, like Kim Jong Un or Il, like Putin, like Khrushchev, like Andropov, like all these people, this is his way of showing the country, I'm in charge of the military. I can call out the military for my birthday. I can call the military for protests. I can call it the military to deport people. So this is my way of putting myself in the league with other despots around the world.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah. Because I do want to, like, check myself a little bit because I feel like I have a real aesthetic problem with it. Right. Like, it doesn't feel American to me. We're not garish in that way. And we don't celebrate our capacity for military violence in this way. We don't have a War Department, we have a Defense Department. Right. Like, and obviously we, we speak out of both sides of our mouths. And we've done terrible things using our military, but we at least had a culture of understanding the value of portraying restraint. And that's something that bothers me. But I think your point is right, that there's a harm in it, in that he is declaring the military is not America's, it's his.

[Josh Sharp]

Well, I think it's also, and you're right, we were very much of the Truman School. Walk softly, carry a big stick. We didn't need to be advertising how militarily powerful we were. We were proud to rely on the power of our ideas, backed up by our military strength. But I think what we're seeing now, unlike other military parades like we have on the 4th of July, which are largely a celebration of the country or they're a celebration of veterans who are serving the country, we're very comfortable. We should be very comfortable with that. No, this is a celebration of the President and his power, and that makes it fundamentally different. And it's why you're right to have that reaction, that visceral distaste for it.

[Jon Lovett]

It's so. It's sometimes not the most important thing. Right. Because the consequences of his worldview are so dangerous. But every once in a while, I'm just struck by just how fundamentally un American he is and how little he appreciates separation of powers not as a means to an end, but just by his own instinct. Like when he issued this statement recently about athletics in California. Right. An issue traditionally one would not think the President would have much time to focus on. But he didn't just say, gavin Newsom is a new scum or this or that. He said, I order local officials to not allow this one student to be part of whatever this athletic competition is. It's a small thing, but when he ordered the flags at half staff for the Pope, the one who died, he said, I'm ordering the flags not just in the federal lands, but in states to lower their flags, which is not power that he has. But what do you make of what he's been able to do so quickly, to not just instinctively reject constraints on his power, but actually be able to activate on the fact that he doesn't have those restraints?

[Josh Sharp]

Well, first of all, let me just say I'm very distracted by whether I should kill a fucking pigeon. So I'm still grappling with a part of my. As a vegan, part of my. Yes, I know, I know. I know this. I would like you to kill the fucking pigeon. I just haven't decided whether I should Kill the pigeon. It is. It's breathtaking to me how quickly and radically he has changed the country in 100 days. I thought the first administration would be bad. It was far worse than expected. I thought the second would be even worse. And it is well beyond any expectation. All of the walls that have come down have been terrifying. His attack on the universities and on the lawyers and the law firms and on the press and on any opposition. But I'll tell you what gives me hope, and I think there's a lot of reason for hope about this, is it took us a while, all of us collectively, to get back on our feet. It was hard this second time because he won the popular vote, because we couldn't say like we did the first time. People really didn't know what he was, what he represented. We couldn't say that the second time. So it took us a while to get on our feet. But now you see Harvard standing up to this guy, and you see other universities start to follow their example. You see law firms start to fight and win against him, and others start to follow that example. And instead of those that capitulated, you see demonstrations now growing in size. You see people willing to assert themselves again to reclaim the country. And it tells me we're going to get through this. It's going to be hard. We're going to suffer damage along the way, but we've been through other hard times in our history. We'll get through this. Our mission right now has to be to mitigate every harm we can, to remind the country of who we are as a people, of the proud history that we have. I remember during the first impeachment, or as Jason Crow, one of my managers likes to say, the best impeachment.

[Adam Schiff]

I.

[Josh Sharp]

Realized it wasn't a traditional prosecution. I didn't need to just prove him guilty of what he'd been charged. As serious as that was. I had to make the case why he could not be returned to office. And it had to do with the fact that we're fundamentally a good country and we're a decent people. And he is not who we are. And I still believe that in my bones, he is not who we are. And it's up to us to remind ourselves of our better angels and to continue making the case about the damage he's doing, the harm he's doing to real people. I don't care what anybody says. They knew he was a crook, but they didn't vote for the corruption, and that's what they're getting.

[Jon Lovett]

So I want to talk about what we do to appeal. So we have to appeal to people as better angels. But at the same time, what we have seen is one of the reasons you see some law firms fighting back, you see some colleges fighting back, is we see what capitulation gets you and what it doesn't. Right now, Paramount is in the midst of a negotiation over a settlement over a completely frivolous lawsuit. The lawsuit has no merit whatsoever. Yet they're in negotiations to potentially pay 15, $16 million as of last reporting. Now, one reason they may do this is because $16 million, which is write off, is maybe worth it to them to get through a merger to get Donald Trump off their back. Now, one reason that is less appealing is we have to demonstrate that he doesn't get off your back. He sees your week. Right. That's part of it that Trump won't let off. But the second piece of which I think is harder for us to figure out, it's actually where we have agency, which is they need to be more afraid of consumers, ordinary Americans, the audience, their other customers and Democrats, and what they'll do once they're in power to hold people accountable for these kinds of capitulations, including whether or not doing a deal like that, even though the lawsuit is frivolous, could be construed as bribery. And I'm wondering if you think Democrats right now are doing enough to kind of make clear that this isn't, in the words of Jonathan V. Last in the Bulwark, a kind of Pascal's Wager where you just bet on Trump because Democrats won't punish you, but Trump will, I think.

[Josh Sharp]

And I've been on the phone, I won't name names to universities I've attended, to law firms I've been with, to companies that I represent, as now the senator from the state to tell them, do not make a deal with this devil. He won't honor it. And you won't find any comfort in the dishonor of making the deal, because you're right, the law firms that cut a deal, who made the false claim, and maybe they believed it at the time that, oh, no, we wouldn't do any work we're not already going to do, are being asked to do things they would never do. And what's more, no matter what they say, they're also refusing to take cases that they would have taken. And for these media companies, yeah, the business decision, just as a pure business decision, is to try to settle and make the problem go away. But the problem is never going to go away. There's no way you can tell me that abc, having settled and paid off Trump and that money goes right into his pocket, isn't going to think twice about running stories that criticize the President. And at Paramount, CBS makes a payment so their merger goes through again. It's a, basically an extortionary payment right into Donald Trump's pocket. You can't tell me that won't affect programming at CBS in the future. And our press has to be stronger, tougher than that. Our companies can't capitulate. There's just nothing for us at the end of this road. I try to remember my business friends. If you think you can have a good economy and have a poor democracy, you're going to find out how wrong that is.

[Jon Lovett]

It's interesting because even this is this kind of mercenary appeal, which I appreciate. There was a moment when you had the Halberstam called it the best and the brightest, kind of ironically. But there were these wealthy people, business leaders or people that had family money, finance people, and they went into government. And their whole pitch, right, was I'm wealthy, right? I can take a government job and I'm not in this for myself. I don't need money on the other side of this. So I'm just in it for the good of the country. Now, there are a lot of problems with that, but I am surprised that someone like a Redstone is a billionaire, just a billionaire, yet seems so concerned about the money in this. Right? Like when you talk to these people behind the scenes, is there any sense of civic mindedness in these decisions? Any sense that, you know what? Yeah, sure, there's less money for me if Donald Trump stops a merger, but I have more money than I can ever need, so I'm gonna do the right thing.

[Josh Sharp]

I had the same question, and maybe it's because I'm just not wired. I was talking to a friend about Thomas Barrick. You remember, he was a big donor to Trump's first inauguration and he was indicted on some scheme involving uae. And I was talking to a friend of mine. Why would he do that? Some piddly ass criminal scheme with the UAE as an unregistered lobbyist or whatever it was. Why risk everything for a few dollars more? I just don't understand that. And he said, oh, I understand it very well in my world. He said, how do you measure your worth if not your net worth? Because you compare yourself to others. If you have a nice house, but your neighbor gets a nicer house, then it's not Nice enough if you have a big boat, but your friend has a bigger boat. So there's never enough. There's never enough. You're the world's richest man, Elon Musk. What more do you need? But apparently he needs a lot more, and he's ready to take it away from everybody else to get it. I mean, there he is cutting deals for Starlink from countries that want to get out from under tariffs. One way to do it is to get the Starlink satellite system. I mean, it's just graft. Do you not have enough now? I suppose for the corporations, they would say, we have an obligation to shareholders, and imagine that will be the rationalization if this deal is cut over cbs. This is better for shareholders, but the American people are shareholders in our society, and they are too. And they need to think about that broader obligation to the broader pool of shareholders.

[Jon Lovett]

I think history has always looked kindly on the people that do monstrous behalf of the shareholders. I think people really appreciate that. And you know what that sound means?

[Josh Sharp]

Another pigeon has gone to heaven.

[Jon Lovett]

Another pigeon. While Republicans are making deal after deal with the devil to get their tax cuts passed, to get pardons, whatever it may be, as Trump is cashing in all over the world, we've got to ask ourselves, what are the deals with the devil we might be willing to take in a segment we're calling Life in the Faust Lane. I have some deals with the devil for our senator.

[Josh Sharp]

I can see you spared no expense with the props here.

[Jon Lovett]

Got the production value. It's a podcast. All right, here's your first deal with the devil. Vegan cheese finally tastes like cheese, but every time you eat it, you hear a baby crying. Nobody else hears the baby, but for you, it's just loud enough that you can hear the conversation, but it's distracting.

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, geez. Well, I really miss a good pizza. How loud is the baby crying?

[Jon Lovett]

It's like. It's like there are two rows behind you on the plane. You can still talk. You can live your life. You're not missing, but you're saying, what? I'm sorry there's a baby, but only you hear it, so you can't say that because you'll sound crazy.

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, God, this is like the pigeon all over again. These moral dilemmas on airplanes. I can't handle it. I think I'd have to go for the really good vegan cheese.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah, I think that's right, because you can always say no, but at least it's an option.

[Josh Sharp]

I can enjoy the pizza and say, will you Keep it down back there.

[Jon Lovett]

Right, right. Yeah, that's true. You know, I cooked a vegan meal for my rabbi. Next up.

[Josh Sharp]

Was it a vegan ham?

[Jon Lovett]

No, I made a pie with tofu. I made, like, a pudding pie with tofu. It was good. I brought it to the office. The vegans loved it.

[Josh Sharp]

I think it sounds like a bizarre take on Sweeney Todd there.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah, it's the best pies in Los Angeles. All right, next up, speaking of Los Angeles, you can reopen the arc Light with the stroke of a pen, but it will only play Marvel movies.

[Josh Sharp]

Oh, well, I would probably not reopen it.

[Jon Lovett]

Wow, that's tough. That's tough. All right. Gotta figure out what happened. It's just sitting there, fucking closed. They can't get any information about it. There's been no reporting about it. You're a sinner. You should dig into it.

[Josh Sharp]

Actually, I looked into this. I kid you not, because I like going out to the movies, and that's a great theater. And the answer that I got was that unlike some of the other arc lights that have reopened, that one owns the land, I believe, so they're trying to sell it. So the land is more valuable. And I think that may be the issue. They either own the land or they don't own the land. But it's what distinguished that one from other arc light owned properties.

[Jon Lovett]

It's just been sitting there closed for five years. It's an outrage.

[Josh Sharp]

It is. I would not pardon that guy.

[Jon Lovett]

Thank you. Thank you for saying that. All right, next up, California has high speed rail from San Diego to Sacramento. But when you take the high speed train north, you do have high speed diarrhea. But when you take the train south, you're nude.

[Josh Sharp]

I. I'm not sure what. What answer is available here? What am I choosing between? Oh, you can have the train, but that's the deal.

[Jon Lovett]

That's the deal.

[Josh Sharp]

Either be neuter or have diarrhea.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah, that's right. You get it.

[Josh Sharp]

Probably depends on who else is in the compartment.

[Jon Lovett]

Well, it depends how popular this deal is. Everyone's gonna face the same moral dilemma. I think. I think the way south will be popular.

[Joe Firestone]

I think.

[Josh Sharp]

I think I'd rather walk.

[Jon Lovett]

Okay, next. The state of California converts entirely to clean wind and solar power. But the only song that's allowed to play on the radio is the James Blunt cover of Katy Perry's California girl. Let's take a listen. I know a place where the grass is really greener. Whoa. Where and why?

[Josh Sharp]

Okay, I would take that deal.

[Jon Lovett]

Okay.

[Josh Sharp]

The only Deal I wouldn't take is if the song were It's a Small World after all. Oh, yeah, because I can never get that out of my head once I hear it.

[Jon Lovett]

Every once in a while, the small World ride at Disneyland stops and someone loses their mind and jumps out of the Bosch. Somebody did that and took off all their clothes one time. Maybe they were trying to get a.

[Josh Sharp]

Train ride and they had diarrhea.

[Jon Lovett]

They did. They did. Oh, here's the last one. You'll never be stuck in traffic again, but whenever you go to sleep, your dreams will be exclusively about traffic. Oh.

[Josh Sharp]

Huh. I wouldn't take that deal. Oh, no. I'd rather dream about pigeons.

[Jon Lovett]

Okay, now before you go, you're doing a charity ride. What are you doing and how far are you going?

[Josh Sharp]

So I'm doing the first day of the AIDS life cycle ride. I did the whole ride, 540 miles. As a house member. I wanted to do it as a senator, but we have votes on Monday, so I can just do the first day. It's 80 miles, and I have not had that much time to train. So if any of you are in the ride, just keep on pedaling, go right past, and I'll be fine. But I'm really excited about it.

[Jon Lovett]

All right, great. Well, Senator Schiff, thank you so much for being here. It was so fun to talk to. Really good to see you. What a pleasure.

[Josh Sharp]

Good to see you.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah. Good to see you. Senator Adam Schiff, everybody. Thanks, everybody. We'll be right back.

[Adam Schiff]

Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or leave it coming up.

[Jon Lovett]

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[Jon Lovett]

And we're back. Please welcome to the Sage, the best comedic trio since me and those pigeons from the plane. It's Josh Sharp, Joe Firestone, and Devin Walker. Hi. Hi. Welcome. Good to see you. Thanks for being here. Hi.

[Adam Schiff]

Oh, God, John, it's an honor.

[Devin Walker]

I thought we were doing a bowing thing.

[Jon Lovett]

No, no. Yeah, it was really good.

[Devin Walker]

Okay.

[Jon Lovett]

Hi. Senator was here.

[Devin Walker]

Yeah.

[Adam Schiff]

Yeah.

[Devin Walker]

And now us.

[Jon Lovett]

Now, Joe.

[Devin Walker]

Ooh.

[Jon Lovett]

You have a murder mystery coming out next month called Murder on Sex. A Luella Van Horne mystery.

[Devin Walker]

Yes.

[Jon Lovett]

Who did it?

[Devin Walker]

I can't tell you. That would be all the sales now.

[Jon Lovett]

Great. Pass the test. Now, we were inspired by the idea. The idea being the mystery of murder, that we thought we'd bring all of you here tonight to solve some of the mysteries that we've been facing in a second we're calling mystery meat.

[Devin Walker]

Oh, wow. Oh, look what you've done with the graphics.

[Jon Lovett]

Wow.

[Devin Walker]

It's incredible, the graphics you've done.

[Jon Lovett]

All right, let's start with this. This week, the press captured video of French President Emmanuel Macron's wife Brigitte pushing him in the face as the pair deplaned in Vietnam. It's the moment where he realizes the door is open and he can be seen. I love that. That is the most. What a funny. What a comedy move like.

[Adam Schiff]

Blah.

[Jon Lovett]

Now, Macron played down the incident, saying, we are squabbling and rather joking. And he asked the press not to blow it into a sort of geoplanetary Catastrophe. What do we think they were fighting about? French stuff, probably.

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah, definitely.

[Adam Schiff]

Whatever it is, I can't understand a word. I'm not sold. It's a fight. It seems like a sex thing.

[Jon Lovett]

Yes.

[Adam Schiff]

Doesn't it feel a little hot?

[Joe Firestone]

Wasn't Macron the one who had an affair with like his like tutor or something like that?

[Jon Lovett]

I think that's the teacher. Yeah, he's the teacher's married to that lady still.

[Devin Walker]

She had a 30 year age gap.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah.

[Adam Schiff]

So.

[Jon Lovett]

Right.

[Adam Schiff]

Oh, so that's just.

[Joe Firestone]

That's their problem.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah.

[Joe Firestone]

She said you didn't do your chickenometry back to wrong Macron.

[Jon Lovett]

That's crazy.

[Joe Firestone]

I didn't know they were still together.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah, no, they stuck it out for sure.

[Adam Schiff]

She's not anymore. To be clear. Do you think they're still or isn't she? You don't know?

[Devin Walker]

Well, you never know. I do think it's like they got off of a private plane. Right? That's the hope. A little plane, right? A little one. A little one. A little private.

[Joe Firestone]

What's the French version of Air Force One? Do they have like.

[Devin Walker]

I think it's like petit poo and they. I would say that I am angry after travel, but if I was flying a little pooty poo and I came off of that and wanted to hit my young husband, I would say something is going on. Young husband hit after private plane. Petty boo.

[Adam Schiff]

What else is there to say?

[Jon Lovett]

What else is there to say?

[Joe Firestone]

I went Alice, my case.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah, I mean, that's it. The defense is.

[Adam Schiff]

The panel rests.

[Jon Lovett]

All right.

[Devin Walker]

Petit poop.

[Jon Lovett]

They do have a psychosexual energy at all times, of course. Very sexual.

[Devin Walker]

I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish I had that relationship where I would leave a dinner party and people would be like, they have such a psychosexual relationship. Doesn't that feel like the best thing?

[Joe Firestone]

I mean, don't we all?

[Jon Lovett]

You know what I'm saying?

[Joe Firestone]

I don't think I've ever had anything that's been psychosexual with that.

[Devin Walker]

I wish, I wish, like I would.

[Adam Schiff]

Have you had either psycho or sexual?

[Devin Walker]

Of course. One.

[Adam Schiff]

Yeah.

[Devin Walker]

But wouldn't it be amazing? He said, oh, honey, your eyes bleeding. I said, oh, it's part of my psychosexual relationship.

[Joe Firestone]

I like that. I want to have something psychosexual. I don't feel like Michael Douglas. That's awesome.

[Devin Walker]

I just watched that movie. That is a movie that's very popular.

[Jon Lovett]

What's wild is that.

[Joe Firestone]

It's that movie from like 1989.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah.

[Devin Walker]

Have you seen it?

[Adam Schiff]

It's very popular.

[Jon Lovett]

It is. You're right. But the crazy part is you could be talking about three or four movies because he was in psychosexual drama over and over again. He's in Disclosure. He's in Fatal Attraction. He's in Basic Instinct. Right?

[Devin Walker]

That's the one I saw.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah. And in every single movie, it's like, are we gonna kill each other or are we gonna have sex?

[Devin Walker]

Yes.

[Jon Lovett]

And the answer is yes.

[Joe Firestone]

They don't make psychosexual films anymore.

[Jon Lovett]

They don't do that. Baby girl.

[Devin Walker]

Oh, yeah. Baby girl.

[Jon Lovett]

Baby girl.

[Devin Walker]

Because of the milk.

[Adam Schiff]

The Nicole Kidman one.

[Jon Lovett]

Oh, I didn't see it. I'll see it.

[Adam Schiff]

It's psychosexual.

[Jon Lovett]

No, you're right.

[Joe Firestone]

That is psychosexual. You're right.

[Adam Schiff]

But otherwise I agree. But that's what I loved about it, is that it was.

[Devin Walker]

But it didn't feel.

[Adam Schiff]

Wasn't right.

[Devin Walker]

It felt like, no one's gonna kill each other. Everyone's having a good time.

[Adam Schiff]

Yeah. You didn't think anyone was gonna kill each other.

[Joe Firestone]

And that's where the cycle comes in.

[Adam Schiff]

Yeah, I see what you're saying.

[Josh Sharp]

Sure.

[Devin Walker]

Basic Instinct was really hard to watch. I had to pause it.

[Joe Firestone]

At which point.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah, there's a specific point he's thinking of.

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah, I know what I paused.

[Adam Schiff]

When.

[Joe Firestone]

It happened for you.

[Devin Walker]

You know what's crazy?

[Jon Lovett]

What.

[Devin Walker]

Is. You know these things at iconic moments in film.

[Jon Lovett]

Sure.

[Devin Walker]

You never expect. You never expect these things to be. You know, you think that they're gonna pause it in the film. See, this was the crazy.

[Adam Schiff]

Like in the movie theaters.

[Devin Walker]

Yeah. And they just go right back.

[Adam Schiff]

Just pause and have an attendant go out and go, can you believe that shit? All right, everybody ready?

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah.

[Adam Schiff]

Cue it back up.

[Jon Lovett]

Yep.

[Devin Walker]

That's what I would like.

[Adam Schiff]

That would be good.

[Jon Lovett]

Next up, Tom Cruise made the rounds recently promoting Mission Impossible, the Final Reckoning, which the actor actually clings to the wing of an airplane as it hurtles through the air at 140 miles per hour. We have a clip. You can't imagine how physically punishing it was for Tom to be on the wing.

[Devin Walker]

That's what Emmanuel Macron's wife was doing.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah, okay. Sure.

[Adam Schiff]

Yeah.

[Joe Firestone]

You know, this isn't my original thought, but every. Like, I've heard other people say this, but, like, every single time I see one of these, I'm like, I think Tom. Tom Cruise has wanted to die for a long time.

[Adam Schiff]

I love it. It's so populous to be like, do I live or do I die? I do it for your delight. I belong to you. He doesn't own his own body anymore.

[Jon Lovett]

It's so cool.

[Adam Schiff]

It's so good. We own him.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah.

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah. I think we're five years out from being in one of those TV shows where it's like, we can push a button, and if enough of us push a button, he has to let go of the plane. I don't think we're far from that.

[Jon Lovett]

And what's crazy, if that's what the instructions were, he'd fucking do it for us. He'd do it for sure. Yeah.

[Joe Firestone]

He'd certainly do it for cinema. He cares about.

[Adam Schiff]

If he knew it'd break box office records, he'd be like, absolutely.

[Joe Firestone]

In a heartbeat.

[Adam Schiff]

Shoot me with a gun. Live in the Regal Cinema, Union Square. If that's what it needs.

[Joe Firestone]

You know, if it'll make a billion dollars in the box office.

[Adam Schiff]

Absolutely. I can't wait for him to go to space in that movie. You know about this?

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah, he's going, space.

[Adam Schiff]

They're doing a movie where he goes to space. I believe they don't have a script. Sure. He just was like, I want to go to space in a movie. And they're like, for sure.

[Jon Lovett]

My guy, the Morning show, they have two plot points. One is that he's gonna go to space, and two, he's gonna shake hands with a beautiful woman. Yeah, that's what he wants. He wants a firm. He's like, oh, Gayle King will be the woman. There's an important look. As I get closer to the female lead in this film, at our highest most heightened emotional, psychosexual moment, we will do a firm handshake to announce that we are partners in my space mission. And that's what I love about his movies now, too.

[Joe Firestone]

Tom Cruise and Katy Perry dapping each other up.

[Adam Schiff]

That's what I want.

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah. That's beautiful.

[Adam Schiff]

He's been reckoning for so long. I'm glad he gets to do one last reckon.

[Joe Firestone]

Just one. This is the last one.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah, that's it. That's it. There was the penultimate reckoning.

[Adam Schiff]

What a catchy name for that one.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah, they've changed. And now the final one. And he'll die for us. And, you know, does the movie make sense? I don't remember.

[Adam Schiff]

Doesn't need to.

[Jon Lovett]

Doesn't need to.

[Devin Walker]

His cousin is an actor.

[Joe Firestone]

Who is his cousin? What's his cousin's name?

[Devin Walker]

His cousin was in a show. Actually, I think that maybe we don't need to go on this.

[Joe Firestone]

His cousin was in Lost. Is what the audience is saying.

[Adam Schiff]

Lost.

[Jon Lovett]

Someone said loss. His cousin was lost.

[Devin Walker]

No, no, no. I didn't see that.

[Adam Schiff]

Is it you Wrong, sir.

[Joe Firestone]

Okay, so if Joe hasn't seen it, that means it can't be true.

[Jon Lovett]

Someone with a microphone is speaking. What did you see?

[Devin Walker]

I actually think that it's time to move on.

[Jon Lovett]

Okay. Okay. Next up, we have Patti LuPone talking about Audra McDonald. This week in the New Yorker interview, Patti LuPone said fellow Broadway legend Audra McDonald is, quote, not a friend. She also described her seven year relationship with Kevin Klein as painful and said Trump controlled Kennedy center should get. I missed that part because I only really focused on the Audra McDonald part. When asked how Audra McDonald is doing as the current lead in Gypsy, the same show Patty won a Tony for in 2008, LuPone sat in silence for 15 seconds and then said, what a beautiful day. Now. True hater. Shit, that's crazy. And then when. So now Audra McDonald was asked, hey, this is weird. Here's what Patti LuPone just did. And Audra McDonald was. I haven't talked to her in years. I have no idea what this is about.

[Devin Walker]

That rules.

[Jon Lovett]

Wow.

[Devin Walker]

And did you get to the part in the interview where she's going to town on a baby artichoke?

[Adam Schiff]

Yeah, that's the best part.

[Devin Walker]

I like that part, too.

[Adam Schiff]

She orders a fried artichoke and she really goes to town. And then she tells the table next to her that they're being too loud, which is hard to imagine. It's hard to imagine Patti LuPone being at a table in a small cafe. And that's not the loudest table.

[Jon Lovett]

Remember when Patti LuPone yelled at a photographer for taking pictures?

[Adam Schiff]

And it was in fact a photographer hired by the show.

[Jon Lovett]

It was incredible. And that didn't come out till later.

[Adam Schiff]

It's been erased from the narrative.

[Jon Lovett]

It was like Patty stood up against phone culture, and it's like she yelled at somebody who worked there.

[Adam Schiff]

Yeah, Literally, it's me right now. How dare you hear me right now.

[Jon Lovett]

Wait, wait.

[Joe Firestone]

Can we. Can we go back to the photo that we had up before? We move on really quickly. I just. You know, this feels clear to me that whoever runs the show has chosen sides. You know what I'm saying?

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah.

[Joe Firestone]

Cause it's like if you look here, you got Audra McDonald looking like Phylicia Rashad at her finest. You know what I'm saying?

[Adam Schiff]

Totally.

[Joe Firestone]

That looks like Claire Huxtable at her best. And then We've got Patti LuPone straight up looking like Danny DeVito when he played the Penguin. Yeah, that's a Batman Returns ass photo. That's a little homie who climbed up from the sewers if I've ever seen one. That's crazy.

[Devin Walker]

Did you know in that movie he's just trying to find his parents?

[Joe Firestone]

What? The Penguin?

[Adam Schiff]

Is that true?

[Devin Walker]

Yeah.

[Joe Firestone]

I thought he was just trying to wreak havoc and become the mayor.

[Devin Walker]

No, he's trying to find his parents. Cause he was left in the basket like Moses.

[Adam Schiff]

And Danny DeVito. You know, his cousin's an actor too.

[Jon Lovett]

But he does not want to say any more about that.

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah, we can't talk about that.

[Devin Walker]

If you knew who I was talking about and you knew that if someone.

[Adam Schiff]

Does.

[Joe Firestone]

And you silenced them, they knew.

[Devin Walker]

I didn't see that show.

[Adam Schiff]

He said, I know who it is. Joe Firestone looks out the window for 15 seconds in silence and then says, it's a lovely day.

[Jon Lovett]

It's just so interesting to think about why it can't be mentioned. That's what's so interesting.

[Devin Walker]

I know that I don't know the name of the show and I know that it'll take me all year to figure it out. Does anyone. Can I ask you something though? Cause seriously, do you ask the name.

[Adam Schiff]

More of the person's credits? Maybe we'll get to the show.

[Devin Walker]

That actually might be helpful. But can I ask you something really quick? Does anyone ever say, oh, you're John Leavitt?

[Jon Lovett]

Uh huh. People think I'm Jon Lovitz. And that actually helps with the booking of this show?

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah, sure.

[Jon Lovett]

We have some really confused.

[Adam Schiff]

I'm frustrated right now to learn.

[Jon Lovett]

It tends to every once in a while they'll be like, I had so.

[Adam Schiff]

Many questions about the critic to ask.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah, no, well, I. Yeah, I get surprising number of questions about my stepmom is an alien. Believe it or not.

[Adam Schiff]

I believe it.

[Jon Lovett]

Josh, you have an off Broadway show called Ta Da Ta Da Ta Da. Premiering next month, directed by Omari Sam Pinkleton.

[Adam Schiff]

Yeah.

[Jon Lovett]

Wow.

[Adam Schiff]

Good guy.

[Joe Firestone]

That's cool.

[Devin Walker]

That's really cool.

[Jon Lovett]

Let's get this out there. Attack a Broadway legend.

[Adam Schiff]

Oh yeah. Who should we attack?

[Jon Lovett]

Let's start a feud.

[Adam Schiff]

Oh, I'll attack Kola Scola.

[Jon Lovett]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Get em.

[Adam Schiff]

Well, they're not funny. Everyone knows that. Right. And they've cribbed everything from open micrs.

[Joe Firestone]

Right.

[Adam Schiff]

They're doing such hack stuff. Everybody's doing their Mary Todd Lincoln impressions at the open mics.

[Joe Firestone]

If you was at the mic in 2016. We was all doing.

[Adam Schiff]

You saw. Oh, Mary. We were all doing Mary Todd.

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah, we were always doing that.

[Devin Walker]

And they took my hairstyle.

[Adam Schiff]

Yeah. Yeah. And your whole sort of sense of fashion. Quite honestly, I like this watch.

[Devin Walker]

That's cool. Hey, thank you so much. I got it online.

[Joe Firestone]

That's nice.

[Jon Lovett]

Ah, I love buying stuff online. We both do that.

[Joe Firestone]

It's nice.

[Devin Walker]

Do you have any boxes?

[Jon Lovett]

You like to take something home? You mean?

[Devin Walker]

Do you have boxes at your house?

[Jon Lovett]

Boxes? Yeah.

[Devin Walker]

Cardboard, for sure. Could I have them?

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah. Come with me after the show. We'll get you some boxes. I got boxes.

[Devin Walker]

Cause I was gonna go to Staples in the morning.

[Jon Lovett]

Buy boxes. No, things you don't have to buy. Salt packets. Napkins. Boxes.

[Devin Walker]

Yeah, napkins. Cloth.

[Jon Lovett]

Well, cloth. Yeah. You can't take those from the restaurant. But paper napkins, you can just grab anywhere.

[Adam Schiff]

Family style.

[Jon Lovett]

Family style.

[Joe Firestone]

You know, road.

[Jon Lovett]

Family style.

[Joe Firestone]

This is really awesome. I've known Joe Firestone for years, but this is the first time I've ever made the connection that Joe is basically a white Tracy Mor.

[Jon Lovett]

Wow. That is.

[Adam Schiff]

Or is Tracy the white Joe firefighter? Say that.

[Joe Firestone]

Say that.

[Adam Schiff]

It's sort of a chicken or egg.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah.

[Joe Firestone]

We're drawing new conclusions.

[Jon Lovett]

That is.

[Joe Firestone]

This is incredible.

[Jon Lovett]

I have never honestly. What a compliment.

[Joe Firestone]

No, it is from, like, the funniest person who's, like, thinking on a wavelength that, like, we haven't accessed it, but once we catch up, we're gonna be like, well, they were a genius all along.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah, yeah. It's like if you went and played, like, Van Halen for Benjamin Franklin, he'd be freaked out.

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah.

[Devin Walker]

Deism. That was his religion.

[Jon Lovett]

Deism. Yes, you're right. He was a deist.

[Devin Walker]

That's right.

[Jon Lovett]

And Jefferson, too, right? What was his deal? He cut all the words out of the Bible.

[Devin Walker]

Remember Deism?

[Adam Schiff]

Jefferson did, yeah.

[Jon Lovett]

Why?

[Devin Walker]

You know that was every word.

[Jon Lovett]

No, just the idea.

[Adam Schiff]

So there were no words left. Because I don't see the point. Did he just need the paper?

[Jon Lovett]

Just stop. Just the.

[Devin Walker]

What's crazy is that there were scissors back then.

[Jon Lovett]

Were there? Do we know that? Because that's like a big deal. The scissor. They're like, no, no. I have a crazy idea. Two knives at once.

[Devin Walker]

No one hands.

[Jon Lovett]

Crazy.

[Devin Walker]

Don't do it.

[Jon Lovett]

Imagine if you hadn't seen scissors and somebody explained it. She'd be like, you're an idiot. You're gonna cut your scissors. Stupid idea.

[Joe Firestone]

Why would anyone ever need that?

[Adam Schiff]

Yeah, I got a knife and they're like, what if you had two. And a fulcrum point. What?

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah. No, no, no. With holes for your fingers. What?

[Devin Walker]

What? In the blank.

[Adam Schiff]

Do you think the tool came first or the lesbian act? Do you think one was. Oh, do you think lesbians did it? And somebody went, that's how I should cut paper? Probably, right? Probably.

[Joe Firestone]

Probably. Probably.

[Jon Lovett]

You gotta. You gotta assume. You gotta assume the act is first.

[Adam Schiff]

Yeah. You got like, I've been tearing it and it looks. And with elegance. These women are making love. Think of the smooth lines I could have on my paper cuts.

[Joe Firestone]

Somebody saw Eleanor Roosevelt getting busy and they were like, okay, no, they're not ready.

[Adam Schiff]

They're not ready.

[Jon Lovett]

They're not ready. They're not ready. They're not ready to picture that.

[Adam Schiff]

They're not ready for that.

[Jon Lovett]

Like, in my mind I was like, it's Eleanor Roosevelt and Amelia Earhart for some reason.

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah, that makes sense to me. Okay, we're on the same.

[Devin Walker]

Can I tell you something bad about la? Okay, I'm just gonna tell you something bad about la. Okay. I. Every time I've gone to a party in la, someone asks if I'm dressed like Amelia Earhart.

[Jon Lovett]

And can I just.

[Adam Schiff]

Clarifying question. And also sort of just scientifically said it. Control group.

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah.

[Adam Schiff]

When you lived in New York, did this happen at all?

[Devin Walker]

Absolutely not.

[Adam Schiff]

Okay, interesting.

[Jon Lovett]

And do you dress differently in la? Cause it's warmer?

[Devin Walker]

No, I don't dress any different. And every.

[Adam Schiff]

That's true. You dress the exact same here. I can verify that if someone's known to you a long time.

[Devin Walker]

I'm not going to Halloween parties. I'm going to normal parties where people say you dress like Amelia Earhart. What kind of people are here?

[Adam Schiff]

Who's the most famous person who accused you of that? Can you name any names?

[Devin Walker]

Charles Lindbergh.

[Jon Lovett]

So you're going to a lot of sort of pretty anti Semitic parties, it sounds like. So these are pretty anti Jewish events that you're attending? Yeah, I got America first kind of a place, so no wonder.

[Devin Walker]

I guess I didn't mention that part.

[Jon Lovett]

Next up at Sunday's American Music Awards, Benson Boone, Ben back flipped off a flight of stairs to the stage. Let's take a look.

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah. Fuck.

[Devin Walker]

He's always doing that.

[Joe Firestone]

He's always flipping.

[Adam Schiff]

He's always doing that.

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah. I'll just say he came to SNL and they had this nigga doing flips like a circus animal. It was crazy. It was crazy. They had him doing promos, just doing flip after flip after flip.

[Adam Schiff]

Like he was a dolphin. It was he's used to it.

[Joe Firestone]

He's used to believe this man alone. Let him sing his little songs.

[Adam Schiff]

He's Mormon.

[Devin Walker]

Yeah.

[Adam Schiff]

They've had him flipping since 9. He's drinking soda and flipping. Yeah, we know this.

[Devin Walker]

He sings a song about how his wife or he's got a girl and he doesn't.

[Adam Schiff]

Yeah, don't assume.

[Devin Walker]

He sings that I've got a girl and I've got my life. And then the worst thing is, it's going away. Thank you, God.

[Jon Lovett]

Right?

[Devin Walker]

Isn't that the song?

[Jon Lovett]

It's something like. Yeah, for. Yes.

[Adam Schiff]

Why is it going away?

[Devin Walker]

It's just like, you know that he's.

[Jon Lovett]

Worried he's gonna lose everything. He has all the things in the world, and he's worried that it's gonna go away.

[Devin Walker]

Right.

[Adam Schiff]

And then why does he say thank you, God, though?

[Jon Lovett]

He's like.

[Devin Walker]

How does it go?

[Joe Firestone]

You know the song I'm good.

[Jon Lovett]

So, Devin, you have a new podcast, My Favorite Lyrics, where you talk to comedians about their favorite lyrics.

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah.

[Jon Lovett]

So these are Joes.

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah. Yes.

[Jon Lovett]

Do you think that an executed backflip is sort of good for the music, is good for art?

[Joe Firestone]

Do I think doing backflips is good for art? I mean, yeah, absolutely. I think the more. I think the more difficult physical stunts an artist can pull off, the more I can respect them. You know what I'm saying?

[Jon Lovett]

For sure. Because, you know, a lot of people can, you know, sing, scream into a microphone, but to get those kinds of abs.

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah, to be able to get abs. And, you know, what I will say about him is he will complete the flip. He's never lip syncing either. He'll complete the flip and then continue singing like nothing happened.

[Adam Schiff]

Respect.

[Joe Firestone]

That's full. Respect.

[Adam Schiff]

That's like Pink. When Pink's flying around singing, I'm like, respect.

[Jon Lovett]

Whoa.

[Joe Firestone]

That's so true.

[Adam Schiff]

How do you feel?

[Joe Firestone]

She's doing, like Cirque du Soleil, literally, at her concerts.

[Devin Walker]

Yeah, I got this song.

[Adam Schiff]

That's what you're about to say. At her age, both things. Impressive. Oh, you got it now.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah.

[Devin Walker]

Wow. Beautiful things that I've got. Wow.

[Jon Lovett]

Right?

[Adam Schiff]

That's what that song's about.

[Joe Firestone]

Oh, that's what?

[Adam Schiff]

Oh, I'm literally putting it together.

[Joe Firestone]

She literally. This is what I'm talking about. She's thinking on a different level. Yeah.

[Jon Lovett]

Wow.

[Adam Schiff]

Wow.

[Jon Lovett]

In a recent episode of let's Talk off camera with Kelly Ripa, Jeremy Renner recalls briefly dying while being crushed in a freak snowplow accident on New Year's Day in 20, 23. You don't see anything but what's in your mind's eye. Like, you're. You're. You're the atoms of who you are, the DNA. Like, you're. You know, your spirit is. It's like. It's a. It's like the highest adrenaline rush, but. But the peace that comes with it, you know? Now that's him talking about, why Tracy Morgan.

[Adam Schiff]

I mean, they're everywhere.

[Jon Lovett]

And here he is talking about returning to the realm of the living. I didn't want to come back. I remember. And I was brought back, and I was so pissed off. I came back. I'm like, oh. And then I saw the eyeball again. I'm like, oh, not the eyeball.

[Joe Firestone]

Also, wait a second. I know this is beside the point, but why the fuck does Kelly Rip have a podcast?

[Jon Lovett]

Because. I don't know.

[Joe Firestone]

That's crazy.

[Adam Schiff]

It's called let's talk about this off air. And she does it on air.

[Joe Firestone]

Right off air.

[Adam Schiff]

She's like, finally, I can take the makeup off.

[Joe Firestone]

Sure, it's just audio.

[Adam Schiff]

Take it back.

[Jon Lovett]

Kelly Rip has to have a podcast. Everybody's got to have a podcast now.

[Joe Firestone]

Every day for, like, 25 years, people.

[Adam Schiff]

Doing a talk show, which is a podcast. It's not like she's like, oh, finally I get to break. Take the mask off.

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[Jon Lovett]

You've seen me play all these villains, but now you get to know the real Kelly Ripa. I suppose it's like, hey, I know podcasting seems easy, but it's not.

[Adam Schiff]

Wait, so what happened? He got trapped under snow.

[Jon Lovett]

He got trapped under a snowplow. Snowplow falls on top. Remember? It was like we were. Now that I've heard him talk about it, because we joked about it at the time, but you didn't realize, like, oh, my God, he died. The plow fell on top of him somehow. Oh, my God. I don't really remember the details. The plow goes on top of him, and he was fucked up for a while. He really. I guess he really did, like, leave the realm. Here's our mystery. What did he see beyond the veil?

[Devin Walker]

It's hard to know, really, but it does seem like, you know, you'd hope an angel.

[Adam Schiff]

And he was referencing an eyeball. There seemed to be a giant eyeball.

[Jon Lovett]

Yes, something. An eyeball in the sky. His own eyeball. His own. He saw his own eyeball? Well, that you're never supposed to see. Wait, it came out.

[Joe Firestone]

You shouldn't see that.

[Jon Lovett]

Is that a real thing? His eyeball fell out of his fucking head.

[Devin Walker]

Your eyeballs can fall out. Your eyeballs can fall out.

[Adam Schiff]

And his cousin's an actor, too. You say, oh, my God.

[Jon Lovett]

Wow.

[Devin Walker]

But I will out.

[Adam Schiff]

Yeah, they definitely can. Oh, that's horrific. That's horrific. That's why you didn't want to come back.

[Jon Lovett]

That's why you don't want to come back.

[Adam Schiff]

I get that.

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah. If your eyes all outside your head, it's like you don't want to.

[Jon Lovett]

You never want to see the back of your eyeball.

[Adam Schiff]

Well, I didn't know any of this about Mr. RH. I really have a lot of empathy.

[Joe Firestone]

He got crushed by the snowplow and then he went and did another Avengers movie.

[Devin Walker]

Oh, well, well, well. With a TV show.

[Joe Firestone]

Damn. The TV show.

[Devin Walker]

Archery Man.

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty much what it is. Oh, did Hawkeye get a TV show?

[Devin Walker]

Hawkeye is a very good TV show. Christmas.

[Jon Lovett]

We'll be right back.

[Adam Schiff]

Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up.

[Jon Lovett]

Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Planned Parenthood Federation of America. Your body is your own. Planned Parenthood believes everyone should have the freedom to make decisions about their health, including abortion whenever and wherever they need it. Today and every day, Planned Parenthood is committed to ensuring that everyone has the information and resources they need to make their own decisions about their bodies. Whether you need STI testing and treatment, birth control, gender affirming care, cancer screenings, or abortion, Planned Parenthood is there for you and all of us. But some lawmakers want to force their personal beliefs on everyone else. They're pushing bills to block people from getting sexual and reproductive care. They're cutting access to reproductive health care, trying to block coverage for birth control, promoting abstinence only until marriage programs, and attacking Planned Parenthood. Simply put, the government wants more control over our bodies, decisions and futures. Right now, millions of people are at risk of losing access to care, especially women, people of color, rural communities, and people with low incomes. Planned Parenthood believes healthcare is a human right. And together with people like you and me, they're fighting every day to build the future we deserve. One where everyone can get the care they need, no matter who they are or where they live. Supporters like you power this work. Donate to support Planned Parenthood [e-mail] Protect that's PlannedParenthood.org Protect welcome back to Listen to youo Heart. I'm Jerry.

[Joe Firestone]

And I'm Jerry's Heart.

[Josh Sharp]

Today's topic repatha Evolokima Heart.

[Jon Lovett]

Why'd you pick this one?

[Joe Firestone]

Well, Jerry, for people who have had a heart attack like us, diet and exercise might not be enough to lower the risk of another one.

[Jon Lovett]

Okay.

[Joe Firestone]

To help know if we're at risk, we should be getting our LDL C, our bad cholesterol checked, and talking to our doctor.

[Josh Sharp]

I'm listening.

[Joe Firestone]

And if it's still too high, Repatha can be added to a statin to lower our LDL C and our heart attack risk.

[Jon Lovett]

Hmm.

[Josh Sharp]

Guess it's time to ask about Repatha.

[Dan Pfeiffer]

Do not take Repatha if you're allergic to it. Serious allergic reactions can occur. Get medical help right away. If you have trouble breathing or swallowing.

[Jon Lovett]

Swelling of the face, lips, tongue, throat or arms.

[Devin Walker]

Common side effects include runny nose, sore.

[Dan Pfeiffer]

Throat, common cold symptoms, flu or flu.

[Jon Lovett]

Like symptoms, back pain, high blood sugar and redness, pain or bruising at the injection site. Listen to your heart.

[Joe Firestone]

Ask your doctor about Repatha. Learn [e-mail] or call 1-844-repatha.

[Adam Schiff]

And we're back.

[Jon Lovett]

For the next month, when you buy something in the cricket store, it's so hard to do the promo with guests here.

[Devin Walker]

We can help.

[Adam Schiff]

Yeah. Would you like us to help?

[Jon Lovett]

You need us to support here. You just read the merch. Read the merch part.

[Joe Firestone]

Just want to popcorn it like we each do. We each do a bullet.

[Jon Lovett]

The merch one, though.

[Adam Schiff]

The merch one. Okay.

[Joe Firestone]

Oh, it's just the merch ones right here. Okay. For the next month, when you buy something from the Cricut store, you'll get.

[Devin Walker]

A promo code for free. 30 day trial of friends of the.

[Adam Schiff]

Pod, our subscription community.

[Jon Lovett]

That means a month of ad free pods, exclusive subscriber only shows and access to our Discord server. Completely free. So support our mission, get the merch and head to Qriket.com store now. Thank you. That was so fun.

[Devin Walker]

That was good.

[Joe Firestone]

That was a good job. I'm proud of us.

[Devin Walker]

We did good.

[Jon Lovett]

And then next week, right here at Dynasty Typewriter, we have our pride show with Joel Kim, Booster Clea Duvall, Brendan Scannel, Adam Rippon, Darby Lynn Cartwright, Alexis Bavels and Sabrina Wu. It's gonna be a really good time. So if you're in LA, grab [e-mail] events. All right? Thank you for that.

[Adam Schiff]

All of those people are straight.

[Jon Lovett]

They're all straight. All of those people are straight. They're all straight. Which is insane. Terrible, terrible job booking that show and.

[Devin Walker]

This one, while you're at it.

[Jon Lovett]

All right, let's turn the lights up. Oh, we got some saucy bitches on this stage. And so we've decided to give the live audience an ounce of their powers in a segment we're calling it Love it or Leave Grill Marks. Nice. Now please raise your hand because you're gonna tell us about someone or something from your life that you would like us to roast. Then our guest will help provide a sick burn.

[Devin Walker]

Do you need help? Like, examples? An example is like, someone who cut in front of you in line at the grocery store.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah. Or like, Jews.

[Devin Walker]

You know, you would really love these parties I go to.

[Audience Member]

So the other day, I was crossing the street, and there was two men in. In a big truck, and they had, like, a police siren, and they went. And we were like, are the police coming? And then they had a microphone and they said, people crossing. People crossing. Which was, like, kind of funny. But maybe you could roast them. I don't know.

[Jon Lovett]

It's hard.

[Adam Schiff]

I have so many clarifying questions, and.

[Devin Walker]

I just don't know if you heard our examples of grocery store and chews.

[Audience Member]

Any questions you have, I'm willing. I'm here. I'm willing to answer them.

[Adam Schiff]

Were you crossing, like, with the light and they were helping you or you felt they were mocking you?

[Audience Member]

They weren't helping me by playing, like, a police siren while I was trying to cross.

[Joe Firestone]

Were they driving past you or were they parked?

[Audience Member]

No, it was one of those crosswalks where they have to stop because it's like a walk crosswalk.

[Joe Firestone]

Oh, got you.

[Audience Member]

Yeah, so I was like, in the crosswalk and they were like, people crossing, People crossing.

[Jon Lovett]

Now, can I ask, this is a slightly delicate question? Uh. Oh. Some men, they don't have words. Do you think you were being hit on?

[Audience Member]

No. Cause it was. We were together. It was just. There's people crossing.

[Joe Firestone]

Maybe they just didn't respect him. You know what I mean?

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah.

[Adam Schiff]

Or they're bi.

[Jon Lovett]

Or they're bi guys trying to get up there.

[Adam Schiff]

They didn't say people crossing.

[Audience Member]

I have to say, it didn't have the energy of a cat call. It wasn't, like, weird sexual thing. It was just like.

[Adam Schiff]

Well, a lot of us are really creative with how we do it now.

[Audience Member]

Be annoying.

[Joe Firestone]

Do they have cat calling in la?

[Devin Walker]

Yeah, yeah, I've been trying it.

[Jon Lovett]

Whoa, wait.

[Joe Firestone]

Joke. Joe, can you give. Can you give your best cat call to this? The person who asked the question?

[Devin Walker]

Yeah, I would be like, okay.

[Joe Firestone]

Yeah.

[Devin Walker]

People crossing.

[Jon Lovett]

Thank you for raising your hand. Thank you for going first now the hands start going up every goddamn time.

[Adam Schiff]

If they saw the caliber of roasts they'll get from us.

[Devin Walker]

Yeah. I think sometimes roasts feel scary. Cause it's like, oh, the oven's up to 450. But then it's like, no, no, we're just putting carrots in here.

[Adam Schiff]

That's a great point.

[Jon Lovett]

That's such a good point. Also, by the way, you can. For a lot of the time you're cooking a roast, you don't cook it that hot.

[Devin Walker]

Oh. Cause you're talking about.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah, like a roast.

[Devin Walker]

Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

[Jon Lovett]

You don't turn the. When you're roasting a roast, you actually don't turn it to roast. Not right away. Maybe at the end, you use one.

[Devin Walker]

Of those bidet pans.

[Adam Schiff]

Bidet pans?

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah. What? Bidet pans.

[Devin Walker]

What are they called?

[Jon Lovett]

Oh, I know what word you're. It's also French.

[Adam Schiff]

Like, shoots up the water, and you're Asshole.

[Devin Walker]

No, no, no, no.

[Adam Schiff]

Well, that's what you said, Joe.

[Joe Firestone]

That's a bidet.

[Adam Schiff]

And words matter.

[Dan Pfeiffer]

Should I go?

[Jon Lovett]

Should you go fair?

[Adam Schiff]

Totally fair.

[Devin Walker]

Do you know what I'm talking about, though? The bidet pan?

[Dan Pfeiffer]

I don't, but I know.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah.

[Dan Pfeiffer]

Okay. So I have a lot of tattoos, and when people come to ask me about them, they always gotta touch em.

[Jon Lovett]

Oh.

[Dan Pfeiffer]

Like, I was at a movie theater, like, waiting in line to get snacks or whatever, and this guy is just like, wow, look at your ink. I was just like, where did you get them? And, like, I had to, like, walk away from. And this happens all the time. People always gotta touch him.

[Jon Lovett]

Oh, I didn't know that that was something that happened later.

[Adam Schiff]

I'm learning.

[Jon Lovett]

So you're looking for something to say back to this person when someone's touching your tattoo?

[Dan Pfeiffer]

Yeah, sure. It's always just this awkward thing where I have to be like, please stop touching me. And then there's just this silence where they're looking at me like I'm crazy or like I just said something super rude.

[Joe Firestone]

And these are complete strangers.

[Dan Pfeiffer]

Yes.

[Joe Firestone]

I think as soon as they reach for you, you should be like, help.

[Adam Schiff]

Yeah.

[Joe Firestone]

That'll disarm anybody immediately, and I guarantee you they won't make contact.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah.

[Joe Firestone]

That's not a roast so much as it is just a life suggestion.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah. Have you thought about having a whistle? Just having a whistle at all times. A whistle really keeps people at bay. I think it just sort of is a surprising thing to hear at the movies. Ooh.

[Adam Schiff]

Or you could get a big truck with a police siren.

[Joe Firestone]

Ooh, yes. You should reach out to the people crossing Gu.

[Devin Walker]

You know, I will.

[Adam Schiff]

Touching people.

[Joe Firestone]

Touching people.

[Adam Schiff]

Touching.

[Jon Lovett]

But if we want to get into the spirit of. I mean, you could go something down. I'm just gonna give an area. An area would be like, if your wife won't let you touch her, why do you think a stranger would be interested? How about that? You know? And then he'd be like, I'm not married. And you're like, of course you're not. You're not likable. You don't have a good personality. You're reaching out to a stranger because you're so fucking alone. And by the way, this won't help. There's something wrong with you. You're wrong. You're wrong. You'll never be right. There's something wrong with you, and it will never, ever be fixed. You could try that.

[Devin Walker]

That's good.

[Joe Firestone]

You should have put that in one of the Obama speeches.

[Adam Schiff]

Wait, no, you did.

[Jon Lovett]

That was a quote.

[Adam Schiff]

That was a quote.

[Jon Lovett]

No, I was the second inaugural.

[Devin Walker]

I was thinking just if you wanted to do it, just a quick one where it's like, touch your own arms.

[Jon Lovett]

Okay, that's good.

[Devin Walker]

But I will say sometimes, you know, I know it doesn't look like it up here, but I am a little bit shorter than other people. And sometimes people pick me up like a bug, and I gotta be like, put me down.

[Joe Firestone]

What'd you say?

[Dan Pfeiffer]

Like, with a glass and a piece of paper?

[Devin Walker]

No, not with a glass, but sometimes people will be like, can I pick you up? And I'm like, no, no, no. And then they pick me up, and my legs are dangling like a bug, you know, and then I. And Tate put me down and then. And I would say, sometimes I'm like, you shouldn't have done that.

[Adam Schiff]

That's good.

[Jon Lovett]

That's really good. That's really good.

[Adam Schiff]

Oh, I have one. Wait, Joe, be touching my tattoos.

[Devin Walker]

Oh, yeah. Whoa.

[Adam Schiff]

No, you're gonna smudge it.

[Jon Lovett]

That's good.

[Devin Walker]

That's good.

[Jon Lovett]

That's really good. Let's do it. Here's somebody up here. There's somebody back there.

[Adam Schiff]

Hello.

[Jon Lovett]

Hi.

[Adam Schiff]

All right, so I drive a lot. I have a lot of long drives and everything, and, you know. Thank you. Yeah.

[Devin Walker]

Hong Kong. Can we get a Hong Kong?

[Adam Schiff]

Sometimes I like to listen to podcasts and everything on these long drives and everything. Well, you're at the right show. Oh, yeah, perfect. And, you know, I like to get my news from podcasts, too. And you know, there's this one guy who uses very pessimistic and very realist statistics, and his name may or may not be Dan Pfeiffer.

[Jon Lovett]

Oh, okay.

[Adam Schiff]

So how do I cope with his realism?

[Jon Lovett]

So you want me to figure out how to insult Dan Pfeiffer, my co host?

[Adam Schiff]

I mean, you're saying that. You're the one saying that.

[Jon Lovett]

You're saying Dan Pfeiffer is delivering hard truths that are too hard for you to. Maybe you should check out Kelly Ripa's podcast. I think you'll find a pleasant experience there. Though occasionally it gets pretty dark, suppressed. I've only heard one episode, and it was about Jeremy Renner fucking dying and his eyeball coming out of his head.

[Adam Schiff]

It's a TV show. That's exactly an experience.

[Jon Lovett]

Dan never talks about what it's like to. To pierce God's veil and see to the other side and wish he didn't have to come back. He never talks about that. It's just polling.

[Devin Walker]

Sounds like you got roasted. And I'm sorry about that.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah, that's right. That's right. It wasn't supposed to happen like that. It was friendly fire. It was friendly fire. We got you. We got you. Yeah. I mean, I guess what I would say is, eat shit, Dan. All right, let's do one more. Hi there. Hi.

[Carolyn Levitt]

Hi. Here in town from Sacramento. And I got a good roast. So.

[Devin Walker]

The Mentalist.

[Carolyn Levitt]

Yes. I was at the AOC burn rally in Folsom, the one with like 30,000 people. It was insane. And there was this dude flying a plane over this rally for a good, like, 45 minutes, saying, was Tom Cruise hanging on it? Yeah, pretty much. I mean, just about.

[Adam Schiff]

Okay.

[Carolyn Levitt]

Yeah. So this guy was just like flying over the. Flying over the crowd for like 40, 45 minutes. So. Yeah.

[Jon Lovett]

Just to be obnoxious, you think?

[Carolyn Levitt]

I think so, yeah.

[Adam Schiff]

Oh, buzzing ya. Oh.

[Carolyn Levitt]

So I think he could use good roasting.

[Jon Lovett]

Oh, wow. Yeah. I mean, I would just say, I think something like, there's something wrong with you. You're broken, and it'll never be right.

[Adam Schiff]

And he was in, like, a little. What are they called? Little. A pitipoo. I mean, isn't that like one of the most dangerous, like, people die in that all the time, right? Flying those little things. I'm pretty sure he's gonna roast himself.

[Jon Lovett]

Yeah, he's gonna get roasted pretty good. There is something interesting. Cause this happened in LA after Trump won. There were these kind of caravans of pickup trucks, like, driving around. Like, I saw them In. You saw them, they were driving around, people crossing, people crossing, people crossing, people crossing. But they had, like, giant Trump flags that seemed quite custom. And they were just driving around with, like, air horns and making noise and taking up space, driving through. I saw them in Burbank. I saw them in Los Feliz, and I caught the eyes of one guy passing, and he had this look on it like, yeah, you're pissed. And it's like, I'm good. Like, I was actually. This is a little annoying. But there was something really interesting about it because it was like, oh, wow. The psychic victory you thought you would feel, the emotional release. Like, you thought you were gonna feel better when Trump won. You thought Trump win was gonna feel like winning in a kind of deeper way for you, but clearly it's not. Clearly you're not getting enough out of Trump's victory to satisfy that emptiness that led you to be so excited and supportive of him in the first place. So now you gotta get in your truck and get right up next to the liberals that you think are sad. But isn't it strange how as much as you want Schadenfreude to feel good, it doesn't work, does it? Maybe a little bit, maybe for a second, but it doesn't last. It doesn't fucking keep. It doesn't work. So that guy's driving around in a fucking airplane trying to ruin some stranger's day because there's something broken in him that Trump winning couldn't fix because it never could because it's all a fucking lie. And I think he'll never hear that. We won't reach him with that. But it's nice for us to think about. I think it's a roast we can hold in here. Yeah.

[Devin Walker]

Also, it's like if you're flying, if you've ever been in an airplane, you don't really get to know what's going on down below.

[Adam Schiff]

Have we considered maybe he was lost?

[Jon Lovett]

Like somebody that you're dressed as all the time?

[Adam Schiff]

Yeah.

[Devin Walker]

That is so LA of you.

[Jon Lovett]

All right, good job, everybody. Thank you for your questions. Thank you to Joe, Devin, and Josh. Josh's Ta Da will begin off Broadway this July at the Greenwich House Theater. Tickets are on sale now at Josh. You can listen to my favorite lyrics wherever you get your podcast. And Murder on Sex Island, a Luella Van Horne mystery, hit stores in June. I'm excited about that. That's cool. And that's our show. That's it. Thank you. To center, Adam Schiff, Joe Firestone, Devin Walker, and Josh Sharp. We'll see you next week for our special Pride show at dynasty. There are 521 days until the midterms. Have a great night and have a great weekend. If you're already scrolling endlessly, which we know you are, don't forget to follow us Rooked media on Instagram, TikTok and all the other ones for original content, community events and more. You can also find Love it or leave it on YouTube for videos of your favorite segments and other YouTube exclusive content. And if you want to type our praises or rip us a new one, consider dropping us a review. Finally, you can join Crooked's Friends of the Pod subscription community for ad free Love it or Leave it and Pod Save America episodes, Subscriber exclusive pods and more. Sign [e-mail] friends love it or Leave it is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, Bill McGrath is our producer and Kennedy Hill is our Associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Coffin, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre and Will Miles are our writers. Jordan Kantor is our editor, Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Shadow. Thanks to our designer Sammy Cadorna Rees for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And thanks to our digital producers David Toles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, Delon Villanueva and Rachel Gajewski for filming and editing video each week. Our head of production is Matt de Groat, our head of programming is Madelyn Herringer and our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.

[Adam Schiff]

Just Love it or Leave it.

[Jon Lovett]

Hi, I'm Dalvette Quince.

[Joe Firestone]

One way to help manage type 2 diabetes is to regularly exercise.

[Jon Lovett]

My exercise program can help get you.

[Joe Firestone]

Into a routine that works for you. Keep in mind, managing blood sugar also.

[Jon Lovett]

Takes the right diet. Hi, I'm celebrity chef Franklin Becker. Ever since I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, I've adapted my cooking style without sacrificing flavor. If you want to learn more tips about diet and exercise, visit mytype2transformation.com.

[Carolyn Levitt]

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