Hail to the $Chief

Summary

Lovett or Leave It – Episode: "Hail to the $Chief"

Release Date: January 25, 2025

Host: Jon Lovett
Co-Hosts: Laci Mosley, Guy Branham
Guests: Laci Mosley, Guy Branham

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Introduction and Setting the Stage

In this episode of Lovett or Leave It, Jon Lovett dives into the tumultuous first week of Donald Trump's second term as President of the United States. Live from Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles, the show sets a humorous yet critical tone, addressing the political climate with sharp wit and insightful commentary.

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Trump’s Inauguration and Initial Actions

Jon begins by expressing his dismay over Trump's swearing-in ceremony, describing the emotional impact of Trump's return to the White House.

“It's a rounder and more fully realized sense of dread. It's not the part of the movie where you realize the monster is in the closet. It's the part of the movie where you realize the monster is your husband.” – Jon Lovett [04:15]

He analyzes Trump's decision to move the inauguration indoors due to cold weather, mocking the appropriateness of the reasoning and the accompanying remarks about historical figures.

“That's like the presidential equivalent of really, really caring about your birthday.” – Jon Lovett [07:30]

Executive Orders and Policy Changes

The hosts scrutinize Trump’s flurry of executive orders within his first week, highlighting actions such as withdrawing from the Paris Climate Agreement and the World Health Organization.

“Opting out of the WHO means we're not going to know they're happening.” – Jon Lovett [12:45]

They discuss the controversial move to reinstate birthright citizenship and Trump's attempts to limit federal recognition of gender, emphasizing the legal and social implications.

Elon Musk’s Controversial Gesture

A significant segment focuses on Elon Musk’s awkward hand gesture during a celebratory rally, which sparked accusations of resembling a Nazi salute. The discussion delves into the impact of such gestures on public perception and their alignment with broader political narratives.

“It's time for Oscar's Conclave. What do you think?" – Jon Lovett [58:32]

Pardons and January 6th Convicts

Jon critically examines Trump's decision to pardon over 1,500 individuals convicted for their involvement in the January 6th Capitol attack, questioning the ethics and long-term consequences of these actions.

“The president isn’t supposed to have a private far-right goon squad. He already has the military, and that’s just being greedy.” – Jon Lovett [11:10]

Entertainment and Cultural Commentary

Co-hosts Laci Mosley and Guy Branham shift the conversation to entertainment, discussing recent Oscar nominations, the impact of representation in media, and the state of modern sitcoms. They reflect on how current media trends influence public perception and cultural discourse.

“Progreso’s savory chicken soup flavored lozenges. That’s Progreso putting the bird ew in bird flu.” – Jon Lovett [13:36]

Scammies: Ranking the Biggest Scams of the Week

A standout feature of this episode is the "Scammies" segment, where Lovett, Mosley, and Branham rank the biggest scams from Trump's first week in office. They evaluate six prominent actions, assigning each a rank based on their perceived impact and deceitfulness.

1. Village People’s Straight Operation – Ranked #1 for its cultural implications and ongoing relevance.
2. Elon Musk’s Gesture – Ranked #2 due to its divisive nature and potential misinterpretation.
3. Stargate AI Investment – Ranked #4, critiqued for its overambitious and possibly mismanaged AI infrastructure promises.
4. Melania’s Inauguration Hat – Ranked #5, focusing on its symbolic and aesthetic controversies.
5. Trump’s Meme Coin – Ranked #6, viewed as a poorly executed financial gimmick.
6. Panama Canal Seizure Attempt – Ranked #3, analyzing its geopolitical and economic ramifications.

“Nothing makes sense anymore.” – Guy Branham [60:57]

Comfort Food Segment: Num Num Num Num Num

In the "Num Num Num Num Num" segment, listeners share their comfort foods. The hosts engage with callers, providing humorous validations and insights into the emotional connections people have with their favorite foods.

• Caller Chris: Enjoys a two-cheeseburger meal with chicken McNuggets and a cold Coke.

  “True McDonald's connoisseurs understand that you get a meal, and one little thing I've said before.” – Jon Lovett [69:10]

• Caller Hailey: Prefers Indian takeout, specifically chicken tikka masala and aloo gobi with garlic naan.

  “It's a correlation, a corollary to the McDonald's theory, which is you get a chicken tikka masala... It's comfortable.” – Jon Lovett [70:38]

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Conclusion and Call to Action

Jon wraps up the episode by encouraging listeners to engage in political activism through Vote Save America, emphasizing the importance of community and collective effort in countering Trump's agenda.

“We have to think big and we have to think small. We have to think big about what it takes to build a movement... But at the same time, we're also going to have to be tactical.” – Jon Lovett [74:50]

The hosts sign off with gratitude to their co-hosts and listeners, promising more incisive discussions and humorous takes in future episodes.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• “It's a rounder and more fully realized sense of dread. It's not the part of the movie where you realize the monster is in the closet. It's the part of the movie where you realize the monster is your husband.” – Jon Lovett [04:15]
• “The president isn’t supposed to have a private far-right goon squad. He already has the military, and that’s just being greedy.” – Jon Lovett [11:10]
• “Nothing makes sense anymore.” – Guy Branham [60:57]
• “True McDonald's connoisseurs understand that you get a meal, and one little thing I've said before.” – Jon Lovett [69:10]

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Final Thoughts

"Hail to the $Chief" offers a blend of sharp political analysis, humor, and cultural commentary, reflecting on the immediate impacts of Trump's return to the White House. Through engaging discussions and relatable segments, Jon Lovett and his co-hosts provide listeners with both entertainment and insightful perspectives on the evolving political landscape.

Transcript

[John Lovett]

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[Laci Mosley]

What's poppin listeners? I'm Laci Mosley, host of the podcast Scam Goddess. The show that's an ode to fraud and all those who practice it. Each week I talk with very special guests about the scammiest scammers of all time. Wanna know about the fake errors? We got em. What about a career con man? We've got them too. Guys that will wine and dine you and then steal all your coins. Know they are represented because representation matters. I'm joined by guests like Nicole byer, Ira Madison III, Conan O'Brien and more. Join the congregation and listen to Scam Goddess wherever you get your podcasts.

[John Lovett]

What's up Los Angeles? Welcome to Love it or leave it. Live from Dynasty Typewriter. This is our first show under the new Trump regime. But the upside is this is the last time I'll ever be able to say that. Just one more term, people, probably. We've got a great show for you tonight. Laci Moseley is here, Guy Branham is here, and we're going to put some of these brand new scams in their rightful ranks. Then I would like all of you to start thinking now of any questions that you have. And I want to hear about your comfort food. All right, we're just going to have a little conversation, and I'm going to decide if your comfort food is correct. But first, let's get into it. What a week. On Monday, surrounded by his closest wife and billionaires, Donald Trump was sworn in as the nation's 47th president. It's not right. We all knew it was gonna feel bad, but I was not personally prepared for how bad it actually feels. I wish I could just shut off the part of my brain that knows what's happening. Like the characters in Severance or Joe Biden. We can't. We're running out of time. Last couple bites of that apple. Anyway, call me Garfield, because, boy, did I hate this Monday. In retrospect, Trump's victory in 2017 was a more acute but ultimately shallower feeling. 2017 was like a jump scare. 2025 hits deeper in the psyche. It's a rounder and more fully realized sense of dread. It's not the part of the movie where you realize the monster is in the closet. It's the part of the movie where you realize the monster is your husband. On Friday, ahead of the inauguration, Trump announced that he would move the ceremony inside, citing the very cold weather, adding, I think unnecessarily, on such a big historic day, one cannot take the risk in regards to. That's a weird thing to add. The extreme cold also complicated House Speaker Mike Johnson's pledge to say fuck Jimmy Carter and hoist the Capitol flags up to full staff for the day because the chords on the flagpoles froze. Good one. Jimmy laughed. God. Before simply watching as Trump canceled a bunch of cancer research. That was fun at the beginning, back to reality by the end. Ahead of the ceremony, outgoing President Joe Biden greeted Trump at the White House. Welcome home, he said. Welcome home. I can't claim to know what is in Biden's heart, but I know myself, and I would only give Trump that warmer welcome if I had taken a gallon of cow's milk Diluted it with some water, and then very lightly misted every curtain and carpet from the East Wing to the Oval Office. Oh, what was your plan? Human shit in the air vents? Sure, it's pointed, but it's instantly noticeable and solvable. Classic Democrat. Classic institutionalist. You have to think longer term and you have to think like a maniac. Think about how Trump would slowly be driven mad as day by day, a slightly musky odor gets worse and worse everywhere. Where is it coming from? It's coming from the fine mist of lactose. Trump's stop at the White House also gave us our first glimpse of Melania's inaugural day outfit. Looking like Carmen San Bernardino. The hat, it turns out, had a practical purpose. Couldn't get in there. People are always trying to read into Melania's outfits like she's sending us a message. And yeah, in a sense, all clothes send a message. You're born naked and the rest is drag and so forth. But it seems like it might be time we finally face the fact that the message Melania is saying is, I made peace with my choices long before you had any awareness of me or any desire to project your personal opinions onto my blank expression. And no one's even talking about the secret message encoded in Jill Biden's outfit. I like purple. As expected, Mega Rich Tech Bros were the guest of honor at Trump's inauguration. With Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, Google CEO Sundar Pichai, Apple CEO Tim Cook, TikTok CEO Shauzi Chu, and White House CEO Elon Musk were all in attendance. More like the capital Brotonda. I feel like I'm dead. Kicking off his second inaugural address, Trump announced that the golden age of America begins right now. Well, more like the gold plated age. Shiny surface, but the inside is still fentanyl. And wildfires. As he did eight years ago, Trump painted a sunny, cheerful vision for America. As we gather today, our government confronts a crisis of trust. For many years, a radical and corrupt establishment has extracted power and wealth from our citizens, while the pillars of our society lay broken and seemingly in complete disrepair. Interesting message on corruption from the first president to accept payment via Zell. While the pillars of our society lay broken and seemingly in complete disrepair. If you'll indulge me for a moment, I once had a serious job. First of all, what is the word seemingly doing here? Are the columns not in complete disrepair or are you just not sure? But how can you not be sure? It's not a real column. It's a Metaphor. And you are sure they're broken? You didn't couch broken. And the columns are not just broken. The columns lay broken. Now, you could argue that a column can be broken without being in disrepair, right? It's cracked in some way. Part of the capital at the top of the column is chipped off. But these columns lay broken. And I am not sure how a column can lay broken while not being in disrepair, let alone complete disrepair, unless it literally just fell down, which would be a weird point to make. So it would seem to me that we have found a great place to cut out a few words. It's something any decent speechwriter would catch. Which is also strange because I was told we were finally making hiring decisions based on merit. Again, best of luck. To the best of the. Our new empath president also weighed in on the devastating California wildfires. They're raging through the houses and communities, even affecting some of the wealthiest and most powerful individuals in our country, some of whom are sitting here right now. They don't have a home any longer. That's interesting. Well, when he's right, he's right. It is interesting. They're wealthy and powerful, but their houses burned down. They're homeless, but they have suits. Life is so full of contradictions. Trump once again pledged to rename the Gulf of Mexico, drawing a visible laugh from one Hillary Clinton. A short time from now, we are going to be changing the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America. Gotta laugh. All right, listen, we're just letting this one go. He's gonna have this one. Who gives a fuck? This is the presidential equivalent of really, really caring about your birthday. This is Disney adult shit. Reprint the maps. I don't give a fuck. Just hours after Trump was sworn in, Elon Musk spoke at a celebratory rally at the Capitol One arena and made this gesture. Now, a lot of you have jumped to a pretty shocking conclusion, which is that this was a Nazi salute, which is ridiculous. This was just a wave gone wrong. I've seen it a thousand times. You're excited. You try to wave and you fuck up the choreo. Besides, immediately after, Elon Musk put out an unequivocal statement saying it was just an awkward hand gesture he met, no association or offense, and that he was sorry. Oh, he didn't do that at all. He didn't do that at all. He had his pal Benjamin Netanyahu, obviously the head Jew, I guess, speak out on his behalf. And then Elon mocked the whole episode with a bunch of Nazi punts. And I have to say, Elon's jokes about all this, especially given his embrace of the German far right, rang a little holocaust. But. But, okay, let's say hypothetically, in a moment of fervor, Elon Musk felt inspired to throw up a siggy H, which he knew better. Which he knew better than to admit. What's the message? That he has embraced far right politics? That he's a troll who wants attention and power without any forbearance or humility in wielding it? That he doesn't feel accountable to anyone who would care? We already know this. Trump and his little coterie of goons are gonna be coming at us with a lot. We don't need to focus on the signs of how bad this could get. It's right now. On the first day of his presidency, Donald Trump pardoned over 1500 people convicted of federal crimes for their roles in the January 6th attack on the US Capitol. No, that's wrong. The pardons and commutations included proud boys and others convicted of brutally assaulting the police officers who defended the Capitol. The Q Anon shaman, who was also pardoned and released Monday. Posted to X thank you, President Trump. Now I'm gonna buy some motherfuckin guns. Trump is fulfilling his campaign promise to release every prisoner in Arkham Asylum. Meanwhile, one free January 6th prisoner has already been arrested again on gun charges. And others will now know that if they do violence on Donald Trump's behalf, he will protect him. The president isn't supposed to have a private far right goon squad. He already has the military, and that's just being greedy. The police officers who were injured, who were beaten and tased, and in some cases, who had to beg for their lives, who showed up that day and did their jobs to protect Congress. Protect members of Congress who now spit on that service are, as one retired officer told the Times, angry, sad and devastated. They too, cannot believe how many nominations Amelia Perez received. It is. It's polarizing. It's a polarizing film. Eager to see it, Trump also signed dozens of executive orders within hours of taking office. For example, Donald Trump pulled the US out of the Paris climate agreement. So throw another log on California, I guess. Yeah, too soon.

[Guy Branham]

Current.

[John Lovett]

Trump also ordered the country out of the World Health Organization. So good news, everybody. We don't have to worry about pandemics anymore. We're not going to know they're happening. Trump overturned several of Biden's executive orders on health care, including the one that lowered the cost of prescription drugs for people on Medicare and Medicaid. Drug prices will almost certainly skyrocket as a result. Higher costs. Just like he promised. Trump also signed an order to stay the TikTok ban for 75 days, so his administration had an opportunity to determine the appropriate course forward. If you think this executive order did anything, go look for TikTok in the App Store. No luck finding it. To recap, first, a law was passed that said TikTok had to be removed from the App Store. Then TikTok pretended the law said it had to shut down their servers in an attempt to mobilize their users. Next, Trump promised he'd sign a meaningless executive order that pretends to nullify this law. Finally, TikTok turned on the servers and said Trump did it. It's the stupidest series of events I've ever seen in my entire life, only to be outdone by every single event for the rest of my life. In another executive order, Trump declared that the federal government will only recognize two biological sexes, male and female. Look, it's one thing to have the federal government only recognize two genders, but if they make that change unhinge, I will kill myself. The president also signed an executive order claiming he could end birthright citizenship despite the clear and unambiguous language in the constitution. On Tuesday, 18 states sued, and a federal judge appointed by Ronald Reagan blocked the order, calling it blatantly unconstitutional. A judge appointed by Reagan? Boy, that will seem quaint after the next round of crimes for which Trump issues pardons. Yeah. It's day five in international boner news. We're changing subjects. French customs officials have issued a warning not to eat aphrodisiac honey. Illegally imported honey mixed with erectile dysfunction medication after record seizures of the product. But if it had Viagra in it, why didn't it? Oh, you're supposed to eat it. I'm so stupid. Anyway, there was so much of this horny honey on the black market, it even ended up in the rabbit feed all the way in England. And we actually have a picture of a rabbit high on this stuff going to fucking. It's hard to see the rabbit's behind him. It's been a long week, so I do want to explain this joke. I was really trying to think of a way that Winnie the Pooh could have gotten stuck in something because of a boner. That's where this began, that he ate some of this corrupted honey, this godless honey, and he ended up with a big boner that got him stuck in a tree because, you know, sometimes he gets. He eats too much honey gets stuck places. Classic Winnie the Pooh. Wouldn't it be funny to imagine that that happened? But boner wise couldn't crack it. And then I thought, well, I looked for pictures of Winnie the Pooh stuck and this one came up. I was like, well, what if the rabbit's back there? But that doesn't make sense. The rabbit doesn't eat honey. Winnie the Pooh eats honey. So then it's like, did some of Winnie the Pooh's honey get in the rabbit feed? But it doesn't matter. And let me tell you why. And this is because you so fundamentally associate honey with this world that I think that's why it's okay. And finally, speaking of sore passages, Progreso announced an exciting new product in the cold and flu aisle. It's savory chicken soup flavored lozenges. That's right. Progreso's putting the bird ew in bird flu. All right, we'll be right back. We have coming up, we've got Lacey Mosley, Guy Branham, and my best friend in the whole world, television. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up. 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[Guy Branham]

This podcast is supported by Comedy Central's.

[John Lovett]

Emmy award winning series, the Daily Show. Jon Stewart and the Daily show news.

[Guy Branham]

Team are kicking off 2025 with brand.

[John Lovett]

New episodes covering a brand new administration.

[Guy Branham]

And a not quite brand new president. While it may feel like we've all been here before, it's never been covered like this. With Jon Stewart behind the desk kicking off every week.

[John Lovett]

Comedy Central's the Daily show new weeknights.

[Guy Branham]

At 11 on Comedy Central and streaming.

[John Lovett]

Next day on Paramount. And we're back. We are only four days into Donald Trump's presidency and boy, are my arms tired from going like this. I don't know. Here to help my brain temporarily defrag, it's the incredible Lacy Mosley and the amazing Guy Branham. Come on out.

[Laci Mosley]

Hello.

[John Lovett]

Hi. I was wondering whether I should make a joke about how now that DEI is gone, you'll probably have to have a man on this panel. Maybe it could be me, but I thought maybe. Maybe not the time. Let's have maybe. I say that the second.

[Laci Mosley]

Oh, no, you can say it now. Listen, DEI has been gone. We knew it was gonna. And that's why I'm not black anymore. Okay, Listen, I came out as black a few years ago, and now I'm going back in the closet. I'm a white man, okay?

[Guy Branham]

It is a rich tradition in this country. It worked very well for Carol Channing. It can work very well for you.

[John Lovett]

It's for no one.

[Laci Mosley]

It was for me. I knew what it was. Listen, I love to put on my Dockers every day and pants with lots of pockets. New balance.

[John Lovett]

You got it.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

You got it. You got it. Maybe a polo under another polo.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah. Shampoo. That's also conditioner and body wash. I'm a white man, okay? My wife. Am I right? Like, I'm a white man.

[Guy Branham]

Her wife loves to ruin her fun. Lacey is always coming in with crazy notions, and her wife is like, Lacey.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah. You didn't know Lacey could be a white man name.

[John Lovett]

It is now. I. Well, now that you're a white man, I just don't want to interrupt.

[Laci Mosley]

You better not, buddy. You're cruisin for a bruisin'okay.

[John Lovett]

Now you're giving me a more and more specific white man. I think you're in a new sitcom with Kat Dennings, actually. So I haven't seen. You're on billboards all over this town. Yeah. And I saw it and I was like, that's great, because sometimes people tell you they're working on something, they got something big coming down the pike. And they don't. And you just. You're like, I hope it's true. In la, you just hope it's true because everybody's working on stuff. And then there you are on two billboards.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah. Two different.

[John Lovett]

Different shows at the same time. Wow.

[Laci Mosley]

Thank you.

[John Lovett]

That's cool.

[Laci Mosley]

Scam Goddess and going Dutch. Yes.

[John Lovett]

So Scam Goddess is a long time coming and we're going to get to some scams. But I'm excited for you.

[Laci Mosley]

Thank you. I'm excited for me, too. That shit was hard as hell. Do you know what it's like sitting down with. With victims of scams? I, like, I said shout out to the journalists because I don't know how you sit down with so many people who have been traumatized over and over again. I was having, like, conversations that were three hours and it turns into 45 seconds on the television show. And I'm like, God damn. But they were wonderful people. And we really, like, expl. Like, explored shame and we shared information and like, some, like a lot of great reviews. But, you know, some people thought, like, oh, well, she's light hearted. She's riding in on a horse next to Reagan on a horse and a statue that looks like he was winning a wet T shirt contest. And they thought I was unserious about it. But I make fun of scammers. I don't make fun of the victims of scams. I really deeply empathize with them. Cause I have been scammed myself. So when we were having those conversations, they were, like, deep and real. So seeing a billboard by myself. Cause I've been on a few billboards, but not alone. I was like, oh, it's just me, bitch.

[John Lovett]

Hey. Yeah, that's cool.

[Laci Mosley]

Thank you, guy.

[Guy Branham]

Rich, are you ever tempted to organize vigilante justice on behalf of the scammed people? Do you ever, like, show them the movie Thelma and say, we could do this. We could find the place in the valley that hurt you and we could shoot those people's computers.

[Laci Mosley]

Here's the thing about vigilante justice. I think about it sometimes. I really have thought about the logistics. And, okay, we get some tiki torches, we get some pitchforks, we get an angry mop. How are you going to keep them angry if we got to walk, like, three miles? Like, you got to have an angry motivator, like a hype man for anger. Like, you can't be angry the whole time, but then you don't want to lose momentum. I don't know how you do that.

[Guy Branham]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

And it's just so hard to walk to the valley.

[Laci Mosley]

It's so hot.

[John Lovett]

It's just. I mean, the first half is a slog, then it's down, but the up. You're going to lose a lot of people. Yeah, you're going to lose people. You're going to lose people.

[Laci Mosley]

You got to get the rage back. No, remember, we're mad. Come back, come back. They see a fucking in and out and they gone like, what am I.

[John Lovett]

Supposed to do now? What is it like to have a podcast that's made for television and then take it to television networks and studios and have them agree?

[Laci Mosley]

So it was kind of a scam in itself. I was like a talking head on the con. And I was like, yes, I am an example expert in scams. Yes. And I just started acting like an expert. You gotta sit like an expert. You gotta sit up and. Yeah. And just like. And so then one of the producers there was like, I wanna make your show into a television show. And then I got tricked. I ended up at the mouse with Disney. And I was there and I was like, oh, we just spitballing. And they were like, we'll buy it in the room. And I was like, what? This was a pitch. What? I. I kind of got tricked, scammed into it. But it was a great scam. They got me and I'm really happy about it.

[John Lovett]

Oh, that's nice. That just seems like a good transaction. That's just. It seems, that's just that, that's. Hey, they're not all scams. That seems like, that just seems like everybody wins, right? Yeah, that's. You know what I'm now realizing that's the difference between a scam and other things.

[Laci Mosley]

No, you.

[John Lovett]

You literally got both benefit.

[Laci Mosley]

Because what I explained, like when people ask me what a scam is and what a scam is not, there's. Here's two situations that are the exact same. Let's say you get an old sugar daddy, sugar mama sugar they and you're with them just for the money, Right. They think you're with them because you like they old body.

[Guy Branham]

Maybe he's very charmed by your witty repartee. And not just the nice flights and vacations. Sometimes maybe, yes.

[Laci Mosley]

In that situation, if the baby leaves with whatever accoutrement they have gained and the sugar mommy puppy they is upset, that's a scam. But let's say in that same situation you're with someone who's a sugar they sugar mommy sugar poppy. And you actually are charmed by their witty repartee. And it's an equal exchange. And no one let, like, leaves feeling duped. That's not a scam. One is a scam. One is not. But this is the same situation, right? So it's like. For me, the definition of a scam is if someone leaves feeling duped. Cause there's a lot of transactions that could be scams or are not scams. That's true, but they could be the same transaction.

[Guy Branham]

Look, if the little bird flies into the crocodile's mouth and eats the stuff from between its teeth, and then it flies away, it's not a scam. But if the crocodile eats the little bird, it's a scam.

[John Lovett]

It's a scam. It's a scam. It's a scam. That's right. That's a really important point. Guy, Guy, where are you at? What are we watching right now? What are we consuming to get us through this?

[Guy Branham]

Okay, so when I am in an emotionally delicate place, when I need to be taken care of, what I do is I go to the peacock, and I start watching Top Chef from the beginning. And 40 episodes, 40 seasons later.

[Laci Mosley]

Not 40 episodes. 40 seasons.

[Guy Branham]

I am. Well, except that I went in this very trying time to peacock, and they had removed the first seven seasons of Top Chef. And my initial response was to email my primary care provider. I was like, you expect me to not go through DC and just start at first All Stars? However, there have been some things that have been really getting me through this. I came late to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but this season has been amazing. Dorit, who was a declawed cat for the entirety of her seasons, she fucking showed up this season. Dorit has been. And sometimes when, you know, when the kitty cats decide to play with the big cats, usually they are not capable and they get taken down very quickly. But she tore out Camille Grammer's throats in a way that was very wonderful. She said a word that I can't say, but Lacy can. The good one. You said you described Melania's outfit as such.

[Laci Mosley]

Oh, cunt, Yes. I was thinking of that other word.

[John Lovett]

Dorit, which you also now can't say. Oh.

[Laci Mosley]

Cause I'm a white man.

[John Lovett]

You know what?

[Laci Mosley]

I have to say that word dorit.

[Guy Branham]

Called Camille grammar a stupid C word. And it was. It. It filled me with a joy I did not think was possible in my life anymore.

[Laci Mosley]

There's such a response to the word cunt that white women have. It's like nigger for white women. It is like they get so Triggered by it. They're like, how dare you? They'll call the police on you. I didn't know that. And so I would sometimes say it when I was a black person, I would say it and I'd be like, oh, that's so cunt. And they'd be like, oh, my God. And I was like, is that a word for y'all? Is that a word for y'all? Okay, I'll put that in my pocket. Okay. I didn't know. I didn't know. Cause honky wasn't really working. It wasn't really getting. It wasn't galvanizing the people in the way we wanted.

[John Lovett]

No, doesn't hit. Doesn't hit. Doesn't do anything to me.

[Guy Branham]

John, what are you watching?

[Laci Mosley]

John, Honky doesn't work.

[John Lovett]

No, actually, you know what I think when I hear the word honky? I think of the SNL sketch with Chevy Chase and Richard Pryor, and they're going back and forth. I am going through Always Sunny from the beginning, from the very beginning. And yum, yum, yum. So good.

[Guy Branham]

But also good, that feeling with a sitcom of knowing that there are just vast tracks of land before you. There's nothing to be scared of because, like, there have been a couple of things.

[John Lovett]

Ugh.

[Guy Branham]

I went through AP bio real hard, but there was only 42 AP bios. You know, you can see the end coming the whole time.

[Laci Mosley]

I see exact numbers like this.

[Guy Branham]

We are existing in a time of workplace sitcom drought. It is a lost art, like Roman Concrete, where, I mean, to use a parlance of your former people, we are losing recipes.

[John Lovett]

Wow. Truly. Where are the lines? Where are they? Are they gone? Are they still here? Will they come back?

[Guy Branham]

But it's always sunny.

[Laci Mosley]

I'm glad I'm not black no more.

[John Lovett]

Oh, my God.

[Laci Mosley]

Oh, my God.

[John Lovett]

Well, no, we. It is, first of all, Roman Concrete.

[Guy Branham]

Yes.

[Laci Mosley]

No. Talk about. Talk about losing recipes.

[John Lovett]

Not gonna do it. Talk about recipes. Roman Concrete. Great analogy for what we're talking about. Perfect. We gotta bring the sitcom back. I miss it. I miss it. We gotta bring the sitcom back. But how do you feel about the Oscar nominations?

[Guy Branham]

Fuck them. Marianne Jean Baptiste, none of you have seen Hard Truths yet. Marianne Jean Baptiste gives you her fucking life. She tears out chunks of her soul and leaves them on the screen in a relatable working class, black, Mike Lee British dramedy. And they're like, oh, I guess Demi Moore gets an Oscar. Demi Moore is very good in the substance, and I'm very happy for her. She will fight it out with Cynthia Erivo. And then she will win because she has been around this town and the old lady always wins. She looks amazing, though. And I'm excited for Kieran Culkin and I'm excited for a real pain. And isn't it weird that Adrien Brody doesn't have a career except once every 20 years he plays a Holocaust survivor and wins an Oscar.

[John Lovett]

That is strange. Have you seen Amelia Perez?

[Guy Branham]

I started it today and then I stopped.

[John Lovett]

I truly like my anticipation. I have not been excited to watch a movie in so long because I've just never had a. It's one of those movies where most people. Have you seen it and did you hate it? Did you love it?

[Guy Branham]

It being the trans movie? That is a French CIS guys speculation. Like, I don't know that this is true, but I've been told that. And I always love that our best queer stories are just a straight CIS person throwing darts at a dartboard saying, what if?

[Laci Mosley]

Why you mad at me? I'm doing the best I can to shine light on your people.

[John Lovett]

What's allowed.

[Guy Branham]

Lazy sometimes. It's good. The birdcage was good.

[John Lovett]

Thank you. My brain. I was. I was. The birdcage was the right pull. It was correct. It is good, though, that conversation about marriage in the birdcage. Mm. Love the birdcage. I know. It was the 90s. You can't tell me that you're also on another show called Going Dutch.

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah, It's a military show.

[Guy Branham]

Yeah. A workplace sitcom from great sitcom writers.

[Laci Mosley]

I love Dennis Leary. I love Joel Church Cooper. I love, like, Danny Pudi. I was talking to him today. He's on my podcast. Like, I love that man so much. That's my cousin, but obviously, like, he's half Polish and that's the side that I relate to. But. But no. Yeah, I love those people. We had a really good time in Ireland playing with each other. It was wild. But yeah, it's a workplace comedy about, you know, being in the military, but at the least important military base in the world. So we're all goofy as luckily, I love that because they had someone come in and teach us all the military stuff and how to, like, salute and stuff. And we was all doing it really poorly, but we were like, oh, it's a comedy where we supposed to do it poorly. So this is fine. Like this. You can't say anything.

[John Lovett]

It's fine. F Troop is not realistic, you know, and that's okay. Yeah, we still remember it.

[Laci Mosley]

Wait, I want to tell you, John, what my TV show is. Were you going to ask me what I'm watching?

[John Lovett]

What are you watching?

[Laci Mosley]

I mean, besides my own TV show.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I was. Sorry I was helping you. I wanted to make you promote your work. But yeah, no, no but sure, yeah. When you're lying at home and consuming after.

[Laci Mosley]

I've watched Going Dutch and Scam Goddess both on Hulu. Next day, I have been watching a mixture of Traders and Bob's Burgers. I have to like mix them on and off because traders is like 48 laws of power. But TV and then Bob's Burgers is like therapy if you don't have insurance.

[John Lovett]

I love when I. For me, the best version of therapy if you don't have insurance is there was a show called In Treatment that was on HBO with Gabriel Byrne, which was an Israeli format and we used to joke that you could just pause it and tell Gabriel Byrne your problems and then hit play. And whatever he said was probably fine would help, you know, if you don't have a therapist, I would say give it a try. It's really soothing. He's really good. He's really good. He makes a lot of good points. Or Bob's Burgers.

[Laci Mosley]

Teaching good lessons over there. Even the Villas, they explain themselves. They make it right. I don't know, it's just so cute. But I've also been.

[John Lovett]

You are a white guy.

[Laci Mosley]

I am. And I've been watching Traders cuz I was like, well, you know, it's 2025 and Project 2025. I gotta, I gotta know who's lying to me and I gotta, I gotta do subterfuge.

[John Lovett]

I gotta, I like Traders.

[Laci Mosley]

I gotta be a spy. But now that I'm a white man, I'm more, much more like chill. Like it's. I'm not worried as much as I was.

[Guy Branham]

I love Alan Cumming. Alan Cumming is great.

[Laci Mosley]

Oh, so cunt.

[Guy Branham]

But give me, give me Claudia Winkleman every time. Watch UK Traders. There is an insane woman.

[Laci Mosley]

You're saying she's better than Alan Cumming?

[Guy Branham]

I'm saying that they are equally good in different ways. I'm saying that Alan Cumming is. You don't know Alan Cumming.

[Laci Mosley]

I watch UK Traders. I watched all the Traders. I'm addicted.

[Guy Branham]

Are you saying that she's not like a kooky delight at every goddamn moment?

[Laci Mosley]

She's a delight, but she's just not as cunt. Okay, Allen. Throwing them pictures on the ground and just being like traitor. I'm sorry, you just can't beat that.

[Guy Branham]

I'm sorry, I'm saying that a woman who is self tanned to within an inch of her life with 4 inch bangs is serving fucking looks.

[John Lovett]

I have to tell you something. Can I confess something right now? I have watched UK Traders as well and I was racking my brain being like, why can't I picture this person? You said bangs. I'm right back. I'm in it. I'm in it. She's awesome.

[Laci Mosley]

They're way too dark. She dyed them black.

[John Lovett]

And you know what that sound means. It's time for Oscar's Conclave. And here's what we're going to do. Conclave. Conclave. Conclave. I'm going to read off the best picture nominees. You haven't seen Conclave?

[Laci Mosley]

No.

[John Lovett]

We're going to like Conclave.

[Guy Branham]

He's the most soothing two hours you're ever. It is process, process, process. Men in wool dresses, swishing.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, it's basically. I mean, what would I, what would it be? What it's equivalent of it. It feels like a student council election. But, but, but make it fashion, I think, you know, like kind of. You know what I'm saying?

[Guy Branham]

At all moments, marble is visible.

[John Lovett]

Yes. There's not a scene without marble in it.

[Laci Mosley]

Oh, I like marble.

[John Lovett]

Okay, I'm gonna read off the best picture nominees and you have to give us your one second review. Honora.

[Guy Branham]

Oh, that was fine.

[John Lovett]

Honora was great.

[Guy Branham]

I have so much hope for this. Shawn Baker's third best movie.

[John Lovett]

Wow. The Brutalist.

[Laci Mosley]

Very brutal.

[Guy Branham]

I was excited to see the movie until that man's the director's Golden Globe speech about how white male genius needs to be respected more. And then I was, I agree with that.

[John Lovett]

A complete unknown. Haven't seen it.

[Guy Branham]

Yeah, I'm gonna be a complete unknown at that theater.

[John Lovett]

Nice, nice. Dune part two. Yes, good.

[Guy Branham]

The only real Dune was directed by the late, great David Lynch. Thank you very much. Clap. Gen X, White men.

[Laci Mosley]

Also Zendaya. I mean, come on.

[John Lovett]

The substance.

[Laci Mosley]

Yes.

[Guy Branham]

I mean it was a fun watch.

[John Lovett]

It's great.

[Guy Branham]

It's like if an American had made that movie, you would be like, what a fun, trashy movie. But because a French person made it, you were like, this trash is important.

[John Lovett]

I saw Wicked on Broadway and the Elphaba on Broadway who was fantastic. Played it more autistic than Cynthia Erivo. And it was interesting to compare. Played it more autistic. Yeah, that's right.

[Laci Mosley]

Describe how she played it more autistic.

[John Lovett]

Imagine if it was me.

[Guy Branham]

Okay. Cynthia. Amazing. Ariana. Amazing. Hey, John Chu, you wanna know What? Defying gravity isn't about Munchkin's running. I don't need to look at that. I don't need to care about a balloon. I would like to be looking at the amazing actress who's fucking slaying a song. Thank you very much.

[John Lovett]

Wow. Really good. Really good.

[Laci Mosley]

Next.

[Guy Branham]

Are you gonna get to Conclave?

[John Lovett]

Oh, yeah. What do you think of Conclave? We talked about that.

[Guy Branham]

What do you mean?

[John Lovett]

When we get to conclave, we speak. We love Conclave.

[Guy Branham]

I need to officially say to this audience that people are going to bitch about Isabella Rossellini only being in that movie for three minutes. There is nothing better than somebody who walks into a movie, fucking steals it, curtsies, and walks out of there. That bitch, I think, is going to win an Academy Award.

[John Lovett]

I will say. I'm going to tell you something. I'm telling you something. I want to be where you are on this. And I went into this movie being like, give me Isabella Rossellini as much as you can, and I'll take what I can get. And I just. I'm sorry. I love her. This is a make good for death becomes her. But come on. She goes. She. She. She yells at a. In a dining room for one scene, and then she's. She's back to kind of skulking.

[Guy Branham]

It's.

[John Lovett]

It's a lot of skulking for an Oscar.

[Guy Branham]

She disappears. She disappears after that moment because she's done her job. Ugh.

[John Lovett]

When we come back, the scammies. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or leave it. Coming up. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. What do you want your 2025 story to be? The. The. The way back up. That's sort of what 2025 should be about. Every January brings you 365 blank pages waiting to be filled. In 2025, maybe you're ready for a plot twist, or maybe there's a part of your story you've been wanting to revise. Life isn't about resolutions that fade in February. It's about picking up the pen and becoming the author of your own life. Think of therapy as your editorial partner, helping you write new chapters and create the meaningful stories you deserve to live. I benefited from therapy. In fact, I'm going to start therapy again. But therapy can really help. Everybody needs therapy. If you can get therapy, should have therapy. And you can get therapy through BetterHelp. BetterHelp is fully online. Making therapy affordable, convenient. Serving over 5 million people worldwide, acts as a diverse network of more than 30, 000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. Easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost. Write your story with better help. Visit betterhelp.com love it. To get 10 off your first month, that's betterhelp h e l p.com love it.

[Guy Branham]

The last thing you want to hear when you need your auto insurance most is a robot with countless irrelevant menu options. Which is why with USAA auto insurance, you'll get great service that is easy and reliable, all at the touch of a button. Get a quote today, restrictions apply.

[John Lovett]

And we're back. This just in. The biggest business in America is being a complete mark. And baby business is booming.

[Laci Mosley]

Who is it?

[John Lovett]

Donald Trump took office Monday. Already the streets of D.C. are flooded with griff scams and Flim Flam sits in mams. What? Lacey, you are and forever will be the scam goddess. And Guy, you can spot a hustle from 500 yards away at midnight.

[Guy Branham]

I don't know that I could.

[John Lovett]

Which is why we're asking you to rank the biggest scams from Trump's first week in office in a segment we're calling scammies.

[Laci Mosley]

Oh, no.

[John Lovett]

Lacy And Guy, I'm gonna ask you to blind rank six of the biggest scams so far.

[Guy Branham]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

All right. With six being just a little cute little scam as a treat, with one being the exclusive limited run president for life. Best scam. Okay, but you don't know what's gonna come next. All right, we got six scams. Are you ready? Yeah. All right. Up first, a $500 billion investment in AI in America. This is an announcement that Trump has made. This week, Donald Trump announced an investment of up to $500 billion into AI infrastructure for artificial. Into infrastructure for artificial intelligence. Trump is putting the AI in America, but giving you the technology you desperately want. You don't want it. Shut up. No, no. Kids don't need to learn to write. $500 billion. Infrastructure. The venture brings together OpenAI, Oracle and SoftBank. It kicks off with the construction of a new data center in Texas. The project is called, of course, Stargate. Of course, nothing to stars. Not a gate. Elon Musk, Starlink, Stargate. Elon Musk, who has a long running tension with OpenAI head Sam Altman. They were original the founders of it, and they have some sort of discontent, disagreement between them. Sort of made fun of this whole operation saying, oh, they don't really have this money. How big of a scam? What are we thinking?

[Guy Branham]

I would like to say first of all, the temerity of naming your AI investment after a 90s sci fi franchise that was notably centered on a trans villain. Beautiful work. I'm gonna give it a three because that they are trying to figure out a way where all of America could be unemployed. But still, the Dow goes up is really the perfect execution of Donald Trump's economy.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, that sucks. It's really a scam. It's a nesting doll of scams, right? Because the large language models at least, are built on kind of harvesting the creative works of countless people who do not benefit from their inclusion in this technology. And right now, as it exists, the technology is just a kind of cheat code for kids who have essays. And I'm increasingly realizing in a way that I can't accept, I kind of have a denial about it. Adults who have to send emails, I.

[Guy Branham]

Kind of don't understand that. I understand that many people I know use this for emails and stuff like that. I can't imagine doing that.

[John Lovett]

I know, I know. And is it passing? Are we? Lacy?

[Laci Mosley]

I'm going to give it a six. I. They want it so bad. But if I really wanted to, like, really, like, pull up on the scene and do a shit, I do my dishes, I do my laundry, like, AI, you want to come in and steal my creative integrity and the joy in my life, bitch, fuck that. Also, you can't trust what AI puts it. And, and, and the thing that I'm giving a 6, 4 is that AI came for black people first. That's how I know it's not gonna work. Like, Levi's was like, oh, y'all said it wasn't enough black people in the campaigns as we gonna put some AI Negroes in there. And I was like, what? No, this isn't. I think that it is an algorithm. The more that we feed it, the more that it will learn. But it's a six for me because it's kind of one of those dreamer things. It needs too much human upkeep right now. It's just not viable enough right now to be the top scam. I think it might get there. Maybe Elon's robots will all murder us. I don't know. But right now, no.

[Guy Branham]

Robots are really bad at picking things. Everybody's like, oh, they're all going to. The AI is going to kill us. Get it wet.

[Laci Mosley]

Literally.

[John Lovett]

Here's the thing that I struggle with, which is like, these are meant to be. These are the most sophisticated operations. These are the most sophisticated operations in the world. But when I search for A product that I need on, say, Amazon, I am served hundreds of nearly identical versions made by fake brands of random letter combination companies. And I just, like, that's what this all was for. To build to the part where if you want Pilates socks, you get it from Zavumbi or Atombo. You're like, these are made up. The letters don't even make sense next to each other. It's a lot of double vowels because, you know, they were available. It's like, these are the people that are building all of these factories.

[Laci Mosley]

My socks are very good. I think you should purchase the bombing.

[John Lovett]

Okay.

[Laci Mosley]

Keep your feet warm.

[John Lovett]

We got a six, we got a three. I'm putting it for. Okay.

[Laci Mosley]

All right.

[John Lovett]

Stargate.

[Laci Mosley]

I didn't know you were going to be average in this. Okay.

[John Lovett]

That's what's happening.

[Laci Mosley]

I love it.

[John Lovett]

Next up, Trump wants to seize control of the Panama Canal. This is something that began weeks ago. He said that we should take control back from the Panama Canal. According to Politico, new Secretary of State Marco Rubio is headed to Panama as early as next week as part of his first trip in his new position of trip focused on two things, immigration and taking control of the Panama Canal. This is based on Donald Trump claiming that the Chinese have taken over the Panama Canal. A company based in Hong Kong does have some kind of financial arrangement, but is neutral in the overseeing of the ports. But blown out of proportion. My sense of this is that Donald Trump remembers when Jimmy Carter gave the Panamanians control of the canal. Doesn't like Jimmy Carter. Didn't like his flag being at half staff. He's gonna punish Jenny. Carter thinks it was weakness to give control of the Panama Canal back to the Panamanians. He was gonna take it back. How big of a scam.

[Guy Branham]

What an exciting moment for the Monroe Doctrine. You know, we've been tearing down statues of white guys left and right, but then I wanna say James Monroe comes marching back to say, we should control this hemisphere. I'm gonna give it a proud two.

[Laci Mosley]

Marco, ques ta haciendo? Juan, Cindy, Latino esto Panama. Panama. They were like, you don't know what to speak to them. You got to go over there and get the canal back. Like, imagine showing up in Panama and be like, hey, hola. Que tales? Canal back. We need canal back. Ahora, ahora, despues. Wait, what?

[John Lovett]

Wait, what?

[Laci Mosley]

Like, they sent Marco Rubio. Donald Trump literally sent Marco Rubio. He was like, who we got? Who's brown? Who speak Spanish? They gonna take the Panama Canal Back for us. Marco Antale, Panama. Like what? Like I will. I'm with you. But I would give it a three because I think there's some other shit coming. I'mma give it a three.

[John Lovett]

All right, three or two.

[Laci Mosley]

That's some.

[John Lovett]

That's three. That's three.

[Laci Mosley]

That is some bullshit.

[John Lovett]

That's three. I'm going to say a man. Like what a man. A plan. A canal America. Next up, Trump's meme coin. All right, first ever presidential crypto Ball.

[Laci Mosley]

Ball.

[John Lovett]

Trump dropped his first meme coin. I don't even know the dollar sign. Trump. I don't know what he's. What's Trump coin? Followed it up with Melania, which was, I guess, a scam for girls. Here is Trump answering questions about the meme coins to reporters. Do you intend to continue selling products that benefit yourself personally while you're president? Well, I don't know if it benefited. I don't know where it is. I don't know much about it other than I launched it. I heard it was very successful. I haven't checked it. Where is it today? You made a lot of money, sir. How much? Several billion dollars. It seems like less every days. Several billion. That's peanuts for these guys. Oh, look at that. Fucking granny. So happy. God damn it. Hey, hey. Did you realize we built our society so that this guy gets everything he wants? Isn't that amazing? What a mistake that was. Some crypto bros were upset that Trump released a limited edition crypto coin ahead of his inauguration to make a quick buck, just as crypto is seeking validity on the global stage. On the other hand, it's Donald Trump we're talking about. What did you think he was going to do? Is it possible to scam these scammers? Where are we ranking the Trump meme coins?

[Guy Branham]

You wanna know what's great for an economy? An economic bubble bursting. I have always maintained that cryptocurrency is just libertarian. Beanie babies, like, they're having their little fun, they've decided to make it valuable, and then they are the ones who will lose at the end. I would like to give it a six. Thank you.

[John Lovett]

Wow. Wow. Low, low. For me, it was higher emotionally. Just because it's got scam, it's got the. It feels. What do you think, Lacy?

[Laci Mosley]

I'm gonna agree with Guy because we already knew crypto was a. Anytime you can't explain something to me like I'm a five year old, it's a scam. Every time you ask somebody what a blockchain is, they're like, okay, now look, we got a series of. Okay, it takes a lot of energy. It's like a long CVS receipt.

[John Lovett]

Hold up.

[Laci Mosley]

So you got a mom, right? So when your mom. And anyways, the weather changes all the time. Like, what is it? What is it?

[John Lovett]

What is it?

[Laci Mosley]

And they're like, oh, you got a meme coin. No, you don't own it, but you do own it. And then when you sell it, you get more. What the fuck are you saying? Like, it's an easy ass scam. We've all known about crypto being a scam, but you know what? That's all millennials. And millennials got to take two Ls. We are the reason that we have so many streaming platforms. We were like, we gonna cut the cord from cable. And then all the capitalist company was like, okay, we all gonna have a streaming platform now. Than we were paying for cable. Everything was all bundled up. We got to go back to the bundle. I'm going to bring back cord. I'm a call it Cord. It's cable and I'm going to make that company again. And then our other L is like, the stock market is so saturated. How are we going to make money fast and destroy the economy that's already taken up by the dinosaurs? So we had to make something called crypto online money where we just rug pool and steal. What? What are we going to do?

[Guy Branham]

Our economy used to be based on. First it was agriculture, and then manufacturing, and then services, and now it's pretend speak.

[Laci Mosley]

More on agriculture.

[John Lovett]

All right, we're giving it a six. We gotta move fast.

[Laci Mosley]

What's the agriculture about? Well, who produced two thirds of the world's cotton?

[Guy Branham]

We had this fun little strategy for improving profits that might be very exciting to you as a white man.

[John Lovett]

All right, we got three left.

[Laci Mosley]

Internship. 300 years, that's all.

[Guy Branham]

Let's keep going.

[John Lovett]

We gotta go. We gotta, we gotta. We got three left. We're gonna go fast. We have. All right, next scam. Melania's inauguration hat. Oh, she didn't have to show her face.

[Laci Mosley]

Come on. Hamburglar.

[John Lovett]

On the one hand, it's a normal hat. On the other hand, she wore it like the Babadook.

[Laci Mosley]

She wanted to be starting something. I was waiting for her to moonwalk like she had it.

[Guy Branham]

The reality. The reality that we have now twice elected a First lady who is violent Pierre. And cannot receive the direct light of the sun. Thrills me. Big number two for me.

[John Lovett]

Big number two. What do you think?

[Laci Mosley]

Oh, good. No, that's Five. Like, that hat wasn't cutsy enough for me. Like this. The fit is cute. Like, you can be like, look, the Nazis wore Hugo Boss. Like what? Like, what are we saying?

[John Lovett]

Nazis wore Hugo Boss. What are we saying?

[Laci Mosley]

Yeah, put it at five.

[Guy Branham]

I'm comfortable with it.

[John Lovett]

Okay, five.

[Laci Mosley]

Five.

[Guy Branham]

If one and two are just trash, this is all on you, Lacy.

[Laci Mosley]

I'm betting. I'm betting right now.

[John Lovett]

All right.

[Guy Branham]

Although in the green room, I did make the call to Lacey that I think the return of American fascism is going to be an amazing time for braids. Yes, we are all a Bavarian schoolgirl now.

[John Lovett]

Next up, we have a salute to Elon Musk. And the reason we're including this is because he does this. Everyone says that to describe this as a Nazi salute is hysterical. At the same time, all the Nazis on the Internet fucking love it. And at the same time, it does feel as though we're being drawn into a debate over a hand gesture at a time in which Trump is doing actual real and terrible things, which makes this whole thing feel like a scam to me. Not maybe not purposeful in any direction.

[Guy Branham]

I really do think it is distract, as you're saying. It's distracting from the content while being horrible and so reflective of how much discourse has changed. And over the last 18 months, 15 months, Jews around the world have had to balance a lot of things and deal with a lot of things. But the ADL declining to acknowledge us for what it was made me feel really upset.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. I guess where I finally land on this is that a gesture is a gesture, and if you didn't mean it, you say you're sorry how it was received. You don't get to say that you're wrong for saying you saw something. We did see it. And just say, hey, you're wrong. I'm sorry you felt that way. But it is an example of like. Like, the same reason people are at a place where they believe this is a gesture he would actually make is actually informed by the kind of online discourse where he would never in a million years say, I shouldn't done that.

[Laci Mosley]

And he did it twice. And I went into the Roman salute. I even looked it up. And the second time he did it, it was even more sick. It was. It was. It was like, heil. It was definitely that.

[John Lovett]

Number two, Elon's arm. Whoopsie doodle number two. Yeah. And finally, we have the anti woke Village People iconic band, the Village People, best known for their song about meeting men at the YMCA and the Navy, historically two of the straightest paved places you can meet. Someone ushered in our new president last week. Trump danced along with them in his way. We have a clip. Come on, everybody. It's fun to stay at the wide. Yes, that's right. Little did we know, the Village People. It is a straight operation. It's a straight business, and it's always been straight. Do you feel as though that was a scam? Either the fact that it's now straight or the fact that it maybe always was.

[Guy Branham]

This is the number one scam for me. This is upsetting. Up is down, right is left. Nothing makes sense anymore.

[John Lovett]

Right.

[Guy Branham]

There are some things we should be able to hold close and dear in these troubling times. Queer culture is so meaningful to us. But, yeah, I'm very upset by this. This is the worst one. I did not hear the joke, but you made it. It's raining men joke. During the monologue, Lacy and I were talking and we were having a good time. But I just wanna make sure we know where the weather girls are. I just wanna know that they're in a safe place and Donald Trump cannot get to them.

[John Lovett]

Hey, everybody. Prayers up for the weather girls. All right, we have our rankings. Number six, the Trump meme coin. Number five, Lania's hat. Number four, Stargate. That's right. You thought it was a movie in the late 90s about how the pyramids are both very old and from the future, but it's not. It's a factory in Texas. That's very important. Number two, Elon's arm. Whoopsie Doodle. And number one, the Village People are straight. Always have been. Say otherwise, we'll sue you. A great list of scams from just this very first fucking week.

[Guy Branham]

Where was Greenland? I thought we were gonna get Greenland. I think that that's. I. I think that is the big scam. I. I think it's amazing. Everybody's like, what's going on? It's like, he's never going to do that.

[Laci Mosley]

Where's the Gulf of America? I can't wait to swim in it.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Which. Yeah, you just gotta. It's pretty nice between the spills. Thank you to Lacy. Thank you to Guy. Watch Scam Goddess Wednesday nights on Freeform and Hulu. And you can catch Guy at the lyric Hyperion on February 20, 24th and February 27th. Next up, food for non thought. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave It Coming up. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Lumen. Did you know that 80% of resolutions fail by February, you can beat the odds of Lumen and improve your health Lumen is the world's first handheld metabolic coach. It's a device that measures your metabolism through your breath and on the app it'll let you know if you're burning fat or carbs and give you tailored guidance to improve your nutrition, workout, sleep and even stress management. All you have to do is breathe into your lumen first thing in the morning and you'll know what's going on with your metabolism whether you're burning mostly fat or carbs. Then Lumen gives you personalized nutrition plan for that day based on your measurements. You can also breathe into it before and after workouts and meals so you know exactly what's going on in your body in real time. And Lumen will give you tips to keep you on top of your health. Games A lot of people at Crooked have been using the Lumen really liking it, kind of gamifying how you're eating and exercising. Get your nutrition plan helps you stay on your goals because your metabolism is at the center of everything your body does. Optimal metabolic health translates to a bunch of benefits including easier weight management, improved energy levels, better fitness results, better sleep, etc. Take the next step to improving your health. Go to lumen me/love it to get 20 off your lumen. That's L U M E N.me love it for 20 off your purchase thank you Lumen for sponsoring this episode.

[Guy Branham]

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[John Lovett]

Options.

[Guy Branham]

Which is why with USAA Auto Insurance, you'll get great service that is easy and reliable, all at the touch of a button. Get a quote Today, restrictions apply. And we're back.

[John Lovett]

Listen Next four years they're going to be the next four years, but we're here to help with honest analysis on what's happening and what we can do to push back wherever we can. You can help support the progressive media ecosystem by subscribing to Friends of the pod. You'll get exclusive content and ad free episodes of Pod Save America and Pod Save the World, which you can now access by subscribing directly through the Apple Podcast app. Just tap the subscribe button in your Apple Podcast app To start your 7 day free trial and please make sure you're supporting Vote Save America. Over the next couple months, VSA is creating spaces for you to find community, take steps to protect those at risk in 2025 and to begin the work of organizing that we are going to have to do. We have to think big and we have to think small. We have to think big about what it takes to build a movement that brings more people in, that has credibility to reach the people we haven't been able to reach. But at the same time, we're also going to have to be tactical. That means fighting everywhere we can to try to win the House. It feels like politics doesn't matter. It feels like the gears aren't turning. But there are these swing districts where there are Republicans who want to keep their jobs, they want to stay in Congress. There are places where the political gears are still turning, and that's the place where we're going to have to do a lot of work. And if we can take back the House, we can stop Donald Trump's agenda in Congress. Doesn't mean there won't be losses, doesn't mean things won't be bad. But it does mean we have a fight that we can fight and win. And we have to remember that while Donald Trump is powerful, he's not all powerful. And if we catastrophize and act like it's over, we're giving into something that hasn't yet happened, and that's something we can't do. We have to be aware of how bad things are and how bad they could get without giving into the idea that we don't have the power to stop it, even though at times we actually won't. That is terrible. That is our reality. But we have to live in our reality and do the best that we can. And the way that you can do that is by signing up at Voting America. Do it now. Do it when you're ready. I don't give a fuck. Just do it. This message has been paid for by Vote Save America. You can learn [e-mail] and this ad has not been authorized by any candidate or candidates committee. Obviously, it's week one of the Trump administration. I'm running through coping mechanisms faster than missed calls from my therapist. But in times like this, I turn to the old reliable that makes me pliable, the big cheese that helps me chill, the takeout that makes me zonk out talking about comfort food. So in this, basically, I want to hear where your comfort is. You can ask me a question, we can talk, anything that's on your mind, we can talk about it. But before we do, I want to hear what your comfort food is. And I'm just going to tell you if it's correct. All right, it's time For a segment we call num num num num num num. That's the rare moment where you used a good picture of me. Thank you. All right, Chris is right here. He's gonna go out. Go out there with the mic. Let's hear what's on your mind and on your plate.

[Guy Branham]

Hi.

[John Lovett]

Hi.

[Laci Mosley]

Sour candy.

[John Lovett]

Okay, okay. Wait, no, don't you keep the mic for a second.

[Laci Mosley]

Oh, okay.

[John Lovett]

Sorry. Not a problem. Take up space. So when you say sour candy, that can mean a bunch of different things. Do you mean like Sour Patch Kids? Do you mean hard sour candies?

[Laci Mosley]

I'm into the gummy variety.

[John Lovett]

Okay.

[Laci Mosley]

I actually, yeah, I'm a UCLA student, so things get dicey around there sometimes, anxiety wise. So I like a nice sour gummy candy, sour punch bite specifically. But open to whatever's in the target aisle.

[John Lovett]

Right, right, right, right, right, right. Okay. Anything savory.

[Laci Mosley]

I like a buffalo wing. Sorry. I know, kind of an odd duo, but.

[John Lovett]

Every once in a while I remember and I relearn how to eat a buffalo wing. It was funny. I couldn't. Because without. Without enough repetition, you do the best you can. You get meat from here and there and you've. You've left behind a mess. Then every once in a while you're reminded that there's a correct way to do it where just. You're just two bones fall right out of the side of the fucking thing. Thank you for your time. We got one down here.

[Laci Mosley]

Hey, John. Hi, I'm Hailey. Just a little bit nervous. You're my idol. Just wanna say thank you.

[John Lovett]

Oh my. That's very sweet. Don't be nervous, Okay?

[Laci Mosley]

I will.

[John Lovett]

If it doesn't work, we'll cut it.

[Laci Mosley]

Okay. Awesome. Gives me great comfort, great joy. Thank you. My comfort food is a two cheeseburger meal from McDonald's with a six piece chicken McNugget and a small cold Coke.

[John Lovett]

And a small what?

[Laci Mosley]

Cold Coca Cola.

[John Lovett]

Right. They're always cold there.

[Laci Mosley]

Oh, yeah.

[John Lovett]

You just order, they come cold. You don't have to.

[Laci Mosley]

McDonald's has that sort of crisp cold you don't find anywhere else.

[John Lovett]

That's absolutely correct. It is colder. Which seems physically impossible, but it is colder. And I appreciate that. And I want you to know that I appreciate first of all an incredible order. Because. And let me tell you why. It's a special order. It's a really good order. And here's why. True McDonald's connoisseurs understand that you get a meal. And one little thing I've said This before. That's something that I've said. It's on. Brainy quotes. True connoisseurs. McDonald's, they go to McDonald's, they get a meal, and they get one little thing. For me, my traditional go to, I want one beef and I want one chicken, because I'm a human being with blood in my fucking veins. So that will mean either big chicken sandwich, little burger, big burger nuggets, Big Burger, McChicken Sandwich. These are the options that are before you once in a while, big nuggets, little burger, Right? But it's always chicken, it's always beef, and it's two things. You've done something that I've never had the courage to do, which is to get the double cheeseburger meal and call that one thing, and then get something on the side. Because what you figured out is there is a path, if you're smart, to three things. And that makes me feel proud to.

[Laci Mosley]

Know I was never good at math.

[John Lovett]

John. That I do feel as though, Like, I feel as though. Like, I feel honored that in some way, maybe I've done something that's shown you something. You have, and then you've taken that and made something even more beautiful.

[Laci Mosley]

You've been very courageous about your open love of McDonald's on the show, despite the ups and downs that that company has had very publicly in America. And that courage has really stuck with me, and I appreciate that.

[John Lovett]

And one of the things. Thank you. I had McDonald's on my way here.

[Laci Mosley]

Amen.

[John Lovett]

Really did. On the way from the airport. I did order. My order was, thank you for asking. So. Right. So McDonald's is. First of all, they're playing. The menu is changing. And so I didn't know this. This just happened. So it used to be you can go and you can get two sandwiches for 350. Then it went up to 3.99. Now it's, you buy one, you get a second for a dollar. They call it the value meal. It's less value. And I feel like Joe Biden's gone now. They can lower like they got what they wanted. He's gone. So now that Trump's back, let's get these prices down. But. So I got a double cheeseburger and a McChicken. That's what I got on my way here. And then a large light lemonade.

[Guy Branham]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

Watching my figure.

[Laci Mosley]

Ooh.

[John Lovett]

Thank you. Hayley, do you have any political thoughts or questions?

[Laci Mosley]

I have a question about dating, actually. What advice do you have for us young, depressed, politically motivated people who Are hoping to find partnership and love in this very dark time.

[John Lovett]

Hmm. Wow. Wow. And what kind of person are you interested in dating?

[Laci Mosley]

Oh, well, I'm bisexual, so men are women.

[John Lovett]

Great. So there's a path for you. I will say, like, this is a political. I think. I don't know how we're gonna do it, but I do. We're gonna find our way off the phones. I just believe that. I believe it in my bones. We are gonna find our way off the phones. The answer is not on the phone. I don't know where it is and how we're gonna find it, but the answer is not on the phone. And that's true in politics. That's true. Like, I love doing this live show. I love getting to be out here and see you. This is always where it feels like the answer is. And when in dating, it is hard because it's like what Facebook did to newspapers. They were like, they told all the newspapers to make video and then they said, haha, just kidding, you're fucked. And so these companies have obliterated all the. These ways of connecting outside of them. And then we're desperate to find the ways to connect outside of them, and they don't exist in the same way that we have to build them. And like, I just. The answer is going to be off your phone. And like, that's not to denigrate online dating. I've done online dating. It has been fruitful for me. It's like, it's a wonderful thing. It can be a wonderful thing, but somehow we got to get off these fucking things. What else? What other comfort foods we got? Hi, John. I'm Scott. Hi. What's your name? Scott. Hi, Scott. So my comfort food is takeout Indian food from down the street, probably chicken tikki masala and aloo gobi, probably. And of course, some garlic naan. I love that. That's a great order. That's a great order. Thank you. It is actually. It is a correlation, a corollary to the McDonald's theory, which is you get a chicken tikka masala, as one does, because it's what you do, right? You're just being a gluttonous and you're not looking. You're not looking to try to explore new ideas or actually learn about another culture. It's comfortable. But then you're going to get a vegetable. You're just going to get a vegetable to kind of, I don't know, prove something for the ledger at the end so that when you're running through and if you're on the fence of whether you're going to get in or get out, it's like, well, you did get a vegetable. I mean, it's barely a vegetable, but sure, sure. Any political thoughts or questions?

[Laci Mosley]

Let's see.

[John Lovett]

So the first thing I've got is. Was it Haley down here? My son is here. You don't have to deal with that. That's not right. That's not right. Dumb. Just. Just. Just to make the pitch. Sure. Ok. He's in his. He's in his last semester at SDSU in industrial and organizational psychology. So he's going to make a lot of money. I honestly, I don't think he's embarrassed enough. And that's a. That's a. That's a red flag to me, to be fair. To be fair. He's been my son his whole life. That's right. So. Okay. All right. All right. Well, that's interesting. That's interesting. Haley can noodle on that. You don't have to look behind you. Let's go to somebody else. Hi, John. Hi. You know the classic peanut butter, banana, like, honey sandwich? Yeah. I don't have time for that. So. Who has time for that? Not with everything that's going on. So I get made fun of because I take bananas and then I take a big bite and then I just take a handful of, like, cashews or almonds and then I just make the nut butter in my mouth. You're throwing a Ritz cracker down or something. Yeah. It's amazing. And everyone should try it because you're, like, incredibly busy. You're just running around all the time. Yeah. Just shoveling. Do you have your. Do you have. Do you have your screen time turned on on your phone? I do not. Because you're so busy you don't have time to make a peanut butter sandwich. So you don't. You must not. You just. It must be insane. Like, so how do you keep up with your friends and stuff? You must never talk to them. You don't text or anything. It's hard. It's hard, right? You know, Are you on TikTok? Yes. But to women, you must never have time to go on it. If you literally don't have time to make a peanut butter sandwich that you're shoveling loose nuts and banana in your face as you're running about. Because life is careening before you. Next person.

[Laci Mosley]

Hi.

[John Lovett]

Hi. Noodles. Heaping portions of noodles. Just noodles. Different types.

[Laci Mosley]

We can go pad.

[John Lovett]

See you. Pad Thai and a chow mein. All in the Same sitting. Go Ramen. Maybe throw in a few dumplings there. Wow. Noodles. Noodles. I love that. You know, it's just to hear the word noodle shouted. My childhood dog name was Noodles. And so to hear that shouted at me, I just heard Noodles and I was like, where is there a dong? And all I wanted when we had that dog, all I wanted when we got a second dog. Cause I named the first dog. I named the first dog Noodle. My sister was in charge of naming the second dog. And I said, stephanie, this is your dog to name. I beg of you, consider a name that will be fun with Noodles. It could be anything. It could be another kind of pasta. It could be something that we put on noodles. It could be anything. She's like, I've got it, Binky. Still mad about it? Any political thoughts or questions on your mind? One thing that I've heard from Haley.

[Laci Mosley]

Or for Haley, I don't know if.

[John Lovett]

This is true or not, but I've heard that, like, volunteering right now is.

[Laci Mosley]

Kind of the hottest club in la.

[John Lovett]

I have my first volunteer day tomorrow, but I'm married, so I'll, you know, not be really be looking. But I've heard that that is true. Hey, Haley, you can put a fire out while having one lit. You know what I'm saying? And I think that's a great place to leave it for tonight. Thank you so much to Lacy Moseley and Guy Branham. Thank you so much to all of you. We'll see you next week at Dynasty Typewriter right here. There are 647 days until the midterms. Have a great night, everybody. You got through week one. See you next week. Love it or Leave it is a crooked media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, Chris Lord is our producer, and Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles and Mohana Del Shiki are our writers. Evan Sutton is our editor. Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer and Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by. Sure, sure. Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, David Toles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt de Groat for filming and editing video each week. So you can love it or leave it.

[Guy Branham]

Just love it.

[John Lovett]

Or leave it.

[Guy Branham]

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