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Why pay when you can slash TikTok slash and free lets you cut prices all the way to zero. Download TikTok, search, slash free and share the link to get free items. Start slashing now. If you're into tech, you will love this. TikTok is a live lab where users post instant reviews of the latest trends. Download TikTok and check it out.
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Love it or Leave It It's Love
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it or Leave it
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straight shoot time.
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Welcome to Love it or Leave It Live from Hollywood. I'm Jon Lovett. I'm married to this haircut. We've got a great show for you tonight, but first, let's get into it. What a week. Over the weekend, the campaign of Maine Senate candidate and guy who you can easily imagine getting into a deadly bar fight. The transporter in Star Trek is technically a cloning machine. Graham Platner was rocked by a sexting scandal. They're pretty explicit and I have no idea why they were sent to me, said Atlantic Editor in Chief Jeffrey Goldberg, according to reporting in the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. Plattner's wife, Amy Gertner, told a campaign aide that she had found sexually explicit text from her husband that he had exchanged with several women early in their marriage. Really putting the oi in oyster farmer with this guy. But hey, it takes a little while after getting married to understand the rules. As a newly married man myself, is it technically cheating that whenever the Dodgers win, I use the McDonald's app to get free chicken nuggets? No. And yet, why do I eat them in my car and hide the evidence? Why does it feel like a shameful secret? Speaking of shameful secrets, the disclosure of the sexy text was part of an internal vetting process that began after the campaign launched in August. The Gertner Platner's wife shared that she had found the messages in the spring and the couple had dealt with the issue in counseling. The campaign ultimately decided that it was a private matter. Sorry, a privates matter, and one that they would not make public. But then the aide Gertner told about the text. Genevieve McDonald resigned in October over Platner's Reddit post and of course, the Nazi tattoo, which we're calling strike one and strike zwei. McDonald then shared the existence of the sex, which were told to her in confidence by Platner's wife to the Wall Street Journal. Wow, kind of evil, said Maine resident Pennywise, the Densing clown. Said Gertner, I confided deeply personal details about my marriage to someone I considered a friend I trusted this person with the most private chapter of our lives. This is why I never tell anyone at work anything. Hallie and Laz, they think they attended my wedding. That was a decoy wedding populated by crisis actors, including paid celebrity attendee Tig Notaro. For Platner's part, he made a promise that he would never sext again. The next embarrassing revelation will be new and surprising and worse. Gertner also recorded a long direct to camera message on Saturday while being attacked by bugs.
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No marriage is perfect.
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And
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I. I don't want a perfect marriage. I want my marriage.
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And I want to be married to Graham.
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Sorry, Blackflies.
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And I'm sorry for secretly breeding a giant swarm of biting black flies in our backyard over many years, added Graham Platner. It's because I was bummed out over the economy or whatever, and I stopped the night before I announced my campaign. I want to focus on the issues and not the super swarm of. Of bloodthirsty black flies I've bred and released across Maine. On Sunday, Platinum responded to the reports. It's no surprise to me that the establishment media outlets are just going to run gossip instead of wanting to talk about the things that actually matter in this race, which are the material realities that the Mainers are working with. Graham, we could spend more time talking about that if so many women didn't know the material realities of what you're working with. During that exchange, Platner denied the allegations. But the stories are true, right? About the texts? No, no, this is. This is the amazing part. The Wall Street Journal, New York Times ran stories without any evidence besides the gossip from a former staffer. I'm sorry, that's frankly journalistic malpractice. But his wife, standing by his side, had already confirmed the story. The discrepancy, it turns out, is that McDonald was quoted as saying Platner had sexted with as many as a dozen women, while the Platner campaign said it was, quote, up to six. First of all, what do you mean, up to six? Why are we estimating how? Are you sure it's not 7, but not sure if it's 5 and 6 versus 12 is a big difference when you're talking about how many eggs go in the cake batter. But I'm not sure it's a big distinction when you're talking about how many women got a tongue emoji from a married Senate candidate. But you know what they say? Sext of one, half a dozen of the other. Point is, Graham Platner has real red flags you gotta question the judgment of somebody sexting up to six women at the start of their marriage. And I get that marriage is hard as someone who's been married for over a week. Plus, yeah, hell yeah, plus. Some of Platner's red flags aren't even completely red. They have a white circle with a black twisted cross in the middle. And that's Sanskrit for good luck. But I'm not a Maine voter, and unless you're consuming this in a lighthouse while drunk on coffee, brandy, and referring to your in laws who have lived in your town for three generations as the newcomers, neither are you. We can win the Senate. It is within reach. Grant Platner, to me, isn't a vessel for challenging the establishment or showing that we as Democrats can embrace candidates as flawed as Republicans, or attacking fashionable opponents, or proving what a broad coalition can sound like. He is how we defeat Susan Collins, who. Who is a vote for a Republican majority leader, which makes her a vote to enable the most corrupt and dangerous president in American history. Platner is a means to an end. Specifically, an end to having to hear Susan Collins say how concerned she is about Trump's $4 billion proposal to replace the Lincoln Memorial with a solid gold Hulk Hogan built by Eric and Don's new Qatari gold statue company. Yes, and I get it. Democrats are afraid of losing. We're accustomed to losing, convinced we are losing, and in fairness, that is based on our record. But it also means that our collective insecurity and anxiety turns debates over practical political choices into matters of virtue and grievance. And I love having grievances. Just ask my high school bully. Oh, you can't. He's in prison for a murder I committed. Platner isn't a cookie cutter establishment candidate, they say. Sure, but there are plenty of people who didn't go to Harvard Law and also didn't sextrand women on their honeymoon. Janet Mills was a stronger candidate, okay, but she dropped out because she was getting crushed. Now, Janet Mills did helpfully pop up on Monday to tell reporters that people had the impression that she withdrew or dropped out, but she simply suspended active campaigning and is still on the ballot.
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Sure, Jan,
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I didn't drop out of the race, Mills says. I simply sat down in the middle of the racetrack and waited for the race to be over. You morons. If you think we need to replace Graham Platner right now in the days before the primary, because this story, which his own wife wishes hadn't become public, is the last straw, you can say that and Maybe in a few days I'll be eating my words. I'm certainly eating everything else now that the wedding's behind us. Am I right? This guy knows what I'm talking about. Okay. But barring an even worse scandal, which I would not put past this guy, I would rather a Democratic majority with Platner in the Senate than a Republican majority with Collins in the Senate. And if you agree, and I hope you do, then we ought to believe that many voters can be persuaded to believe it, too. And if you don't, it's because, at root, you have internalized a loser mentality. It's not because you don't trust Grant Platner. It's because you don't trust yourself. Unless you're Grant Platner's wife. And then I can totally see why you don't trust Graham Platner. But then again, you seem pretty gung ho about the whole thing. Unless that's an act of self protection, which I would also understand. Anyway, I'm here if you want to talk, babe. For the record, here's where Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer was at on Tuesday. I met with Graham Platler today. We're going to beat Susan Collins and take back the sand. Hell, yeah. Another thing Chuck Schumer and I have in common. This and the fact that we both know that lettuce and tomato on a bagel is extra. But if you just ask for lettuce, it's usually free. And let us look at what we're up against. Ken Paxton. Shut up. Ken Paxton beat out John Cornyn to be the Texas Republican candidate last week, despite getting indicted on felony fraud charges, attempting to overturn the 2020 election, and being the first statewide official to be impeached in almost a century. While we're at it, Paxton's wife of 38 years publicly divorced him on, quote, biblical grounds. So either he cheated on her or cooked a lamb in its mother's milk. Meanwhile, on Monday, Iran halted all negotiations with the US Over Israel's military offensive in Lebanon. Here's what Trump had to say about it. I said, do you think the negotiations are over now? The President said, I don't care if they're over. Honestly, I really don't care. I couldn't care less if they're over, they're over. Frankly, I think they started to get a little boring. I just hope for the time capsule. We have a shot of the White House UFC arena in the background, while finding out that the President has grown bored of negotiating for peace in the war he started. You're the president. You don't get to be bored of trying to end a war you chose to fight. It is so insulting. It's like an arsonist leaving before the fire department shows up. You did this. At least enjoy it. Trump has also latched onto maybe the stupidest talking point in the history of his political career. I take the word dumb, take the B off, because most people don't know that, you know, dumb ends with a B. But most people don't know. And all I do is I switch the E with a U. And you have a Democrat, much like Janet Mills. Main Senate campaign that be is silent. So you know that was unfair because that was just a swerve to come. You thought we were going to have a nice little fun time joking about Trump, who we all hate. But then I was like, back to Janet Mills. Trump can knock down the East Wing, he can attack the pillars of our democracy, but he can't say that most people don't know how to spell dumb. They do. And maybe that is the one thing he cannot take from us. Look, I've seen more than a few commentators say that Democrats are embracing Platner because they've seen how Republicans have embraced morally bankrupt without paying a price. But Republicans have embraced Trump and Paxton and other odious figures because they're unrepentant assholes. This debate over Platner is at root about whether a repentant person can leave the asshole behind, specifically in the pictures they sent of that asshole to no more than six women on the Internet. And I am hopeful that the answer is yes until we see pictures of that asshole with an even more shocking tattoo on it. And with that, we've got a great show for you tonight. And when we come back, Tig Notaro is here. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Simplisafe. The problem with most home security systems is that they only alert you after a break in has already started. And that's too late. That's why you need Simplisafe to secure your home. 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I want you to experience the peace of mind of real home security, which is why I've partnered with Simply Safe to offer an exclusive discount to Love it or Leave it listeners. Right now you can get 50% off your new system by visiting simplisafe.com Love it. That's half off@simplisafe.com Love it. There is no safe like SimpliSafe. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by HomeServe. You've probably searched carefully for the best insurance plan to protect your health, your car, even your phone. But what about your home? It's likely your biggest investment and when things go wrong, the costs can add up quickly. That's where HomeServe comes in. Traditional homeowners insurance usually doesn't cover a lot of the day to day wear and tear. Like plumbing failures, H Vac breakdowns and electrical issues, you're often on your own. For those, HomeServ is different. It's like a protective subscription for your home. For as little as 499amonth, they've got your back. It's super simple. 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For 50% up your first year, go to HomeServe.com love it. That's HomeServe.com LoveTT for 50% off savings compared to renewal price void in Florida. And we're back. We'll have Tig Notaro and Apart in Anchorla to join in just a minute. But first, if you're a friend of the pod, thank you. If you're not, please consider becoming a paid subscriber. Subscribers get a ton of bonus content ad free episodes of your favorite pods, including Love it or Leave it, even more Pod Save America, including OnlyFriends, our bonus pod that is just for subscribers. We also have the new. We also have newsletters. We have Dan Pfeiffer's Polar Coaster, which is about everything you need to know about the latest polling. There's ad free breaking news episodes. Plus you'll get Crooked Con extras like ticket discounts and on site perks. If you're not a paid subscriber and you want it all, join at Friends of the Pod. So Please go to crooked.com friends to become a friend of the Pod. It's a lot of great content and you're supporting independent, pro democracy media. And if you're in the LA area, you can still get tickets@crooked.com events to check out our new space here and upcoming guests, including standups Todd Glass, David Bourie, Ali Siddiq, and Jay Farrow. Plus, don't miss a special Pride episode later this June. All right, my next guest attended my wedding last weekend, which was the entire reason I had one. Please welcome to the stage Tig Najaro. Hi. Hi, Tig.
C
Hi, John.
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Good to see you.
C
It's really good to see you. You're still married?
A
Yeah. Yeah. It's good. Yeah, I like it.
C
I love it.
A
It's fun to say. Husband.
C
Yes. Well, I don't know. Yes, I have a female. I have a hersband.
A
You have a hersband?
C
Yes.
A
The other thing that was interesting is realizing I had in laws.
C
Oh, yeah.
A
I hadn't fully internalized them becoming true in laws. And there's a word in Yiddish, machatunam, which is for the relationship between Ari's parents and my parents, which is there's no word for it in English because they're not technically in laws. They're makhatanum. Oh, hey, at my wedding, did you enjoy sitting at the lesbian table?
C
I did, and it didn't take me a long time to figure out that I was at the lesbian table.
A
What was the first clue, you think?
C
Just business suits all around.
A
Yeah.
C
Short haircuts.
A
Yeah.
C
Girls holding girls hands.
A
Yeah.
C
Yeah. No husbands.
A
Not a husband at that table.
C
No, not a husband there.
A
It was fun having a big lesbian table. And there was also a gay guy table.
C
I know. And what made you do that?
A
It seemed funny. We almost sat.
C
It did feel like we were sitting at a bit.
A
Yeah.
C
Yeah, yeah.
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Well, you know, I don't know why we did it other than we thought, oh, you know, these are. These lesbians don't necessarily know each other.
C
Right.
A
And maybe they'll become fast friends because I assume, you know, it's like how goldendoodles can just tell another goldendoodle.
C
Yeah. You know, from the business suits.
A
From the business suits. But we also did think about sitting one. We thought it'd be at the gate, like, to have, like, Travis Helwig, who's the former head writer of the show, was at the wedding. We thought, wouldn't it be fun if it was just Travis and the lesbians, like, almost like a band or something. But then we didn't do that.
C
How did the gay guy table do?
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They all had sex with each other.
C
Yeah.
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Which was cool. At the wedding, which was like, guys, guys, calm down.
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My friends. Son, do you want to hear this?
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Yeah.
C
Okay. He came out to her before he went to college. And then she and her brother were encouraging him to join, like, a gay guy group for support at college. And then she filled me in. She was like, I had no idea I was sending my son off to, like, travel orgies with a bunch.
A
Yeah. That is a big part of it.
C
Yeah. But those days are over.
A
Yeah. I never really had those days, you know, they were over. I never. I didn't go through a travel orgy phase.
C
You were. You staycation orgied.
A
Yeah. Yeah. Why are we going up? Yeah. You never need to pass an orgy to get to a further orgy.
C
Exactly.
A
You know what I'm saying? Don't drive, you know?
C
Yeah.
A
Aaron Sorkin used to say that about Four seasons is. Why would you fly over a four Seasons? To get to a more distance. Four seasons. Just go to the nearest four seasons. And that's how I feel about orgies.
C
Yes. Yes. Go to your nearest orgy.
A
Yeah.
C
Yeah. At a four season out of four.
A
I mean, that's a That's a great orgy.
C
That's pretty.
A
That's a great orgy. And if you do with Amex, you get breakfast.
C
Breakfast for 30.
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Yeah.
C
Yeah.
A
Well, yeah, I think it's depend. Yeah. I mean, depends how you.
C
I don't know if you know, but orgies now have MCs. Have you heard this?
A
No.
C
Where they'll. My wife told me this. She was like, they'll have a microphone, the host, and be like, free hole. Free hole. And like, wow. Yeah.
A
Sort of takes the romance out of it. But I don't know how much romance there is at the orgies.
C
There's none, but there's free holes. Any noodles?
A
Guess it. Yeah, it depends if it's like an odd number or even number. Did you like the clowns at the wedding? For people listening, There were clowns at the wedding. We got really excellent clowns to be part of the ceremony and to tell people their table numbers.
C
Here's my question. What makes a clown a great clown? Because to me, I was just like, there's clowns. Like a clown that went to my birthday as a child. Like, I couldn't tell. Like, oh, my God, I just saw four incredible clowns.
A
So that's a great question.
C
Thank you.
A
And I think it's great to. I think you should be. Oh, that's a great question.
C
Thank you.
A
They were so committed to the bit. They were each characters, and they each fully embodied those characters. And I will tell you, and I suppose everyone via the microphone, that I did write what was called the Clown Memo.
C
Okay.
A
And the Clown Memo had detailed character traits, qualities, and scripted dialogue for all four clowns.
C
And was the clown situation your idea?
A
It was Ari's idea to have the clowns. And then I thought, well, if we're gonna have clowns, there should be some kind of story, obviously.
C
Clearly.
A
And that evolved into the clown memoir, and it was more pages than you'd think it was. I did work on the Clown Memo till. Really, all hours of the night.
C
Yeah.
A
And not my vows, so that's on me. But each of the. So basically, the clowns had a story in which they slowly discovered that Stu was a diabolical and evil clown, sabotaging the love of Carpaccio and Stroganoff and undermining the career of Wellington.
C
I'm bored.
A
But did you get that story from them?
C
I did. Yeah. I think that was clear. No, here was my issue. When I went up to get my table number, the clown. And I don't know who it was that was giving Me. The number. There was a handkerchief. Beautiful handkerchief.
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Stroganoff.
C
Yes. Okay.
A
It was Stroganoff because he was sad.
C
Okay. I know. And here's the problem. As a germaphobe, I had a bit of an issue that this clown took my handkerchief and blew his nose into it. Yes. He had a clown nose on. But still, I was like, yeah, thank you. And I wanted the handkerchief, but I didn't want him to cry and blow his nose and stuff into my handkerchief. And then I thought to go take it up with you.
A
Yeah.
C
And then I thought, this is not really the day to get into my issue with the clown blowing his nose in my handkerchief.
A
Right. And I understand you gave up Instagram.
C
You know, in Stand up, I'm not great at going from topic to topic. And what I fantasize about is having an actual segue on stage. So I am on one side of the stage, I tell a joke or story, and then I segue to the other side of the stage.
A
Right.
C
And I suggest that for you as well. Yes. It would be fun to do a show with the two of us on Segways and try and live through that.
A
Right.
C
Yes.
A
Tig and other break their legs at the Largo.
C
Tig Notaro and one other. So, yes, I'm off social media and what?
A
Nothing. I'm just locked in.
C
Yeah. Are you on social media and are you loving it?
A
I've not. I'm less and less on it. And that, I do think, is for the best. I'm consuming a lot of TikTok still. TikTok I go to just to consume that social media. Yeah.
C
Yeah.
A
And you're right.
C
Yeah, you're right for sure.
A
That's the caveat.
C
Yeah.
A
I'm not using Instagram or Twitter as much. I'm going on there. I'm not producing as much. I'm consuming more.
C
Yeah.
A
But I. But maybe that's worse.
C
Well, I was. That's why I got off, because I was never familiar with the Met Gala. I had heard of it. And then I was on Instagram and I was getting all of this information about the Met Gala, and I was like, oh, it's. I truly. I didn't know if it was awards. I didn't know what this thing was. And then I was like, okay, so fashion. Then I, you know, Bezos, all of these things. And then the politics of who went and who. And then I found myself mad at Bad Bunny. And then I was like, hold on. I didn't even know who Bad Bunny was until the Super Bowl. And what has my life become that I am sitting stewing about Bad Bunny and his decision? And then I was like, I cannot be taking in this stuff.
A
Oh, see, I think you handled that incorrectly. I think you should just let that be. Let that flow over you, and you'll find that there's so many. Once you're stopping mad at Bad Bunny, you'll be mad at somebody new, and that's really cool. And then you're kind of amped all the time, kind of ready to rumble.
C
Yeah. Yeah, I guess. It's not what I'm looking for, John.
A
Oh, speaking of what we were talking about, most recently, the time has come for Take Takes. It's a segment where we ask take for her take on current events.
C
Oh, no.
A
And now that you're not even on Instagram. Boy, I can't wait to find out what you think of these stories.
C
I can't wait either.
A
First up, we have RFK Jr. Snake handling.
B
Hi.
A
So what are they?
C
Accents?
B
Homemade.
A
Well, they were having sex, so what were they?
C
Well, I. I'll tell you what. I feel like this is maybe the fourth or fifth time Bobby has wrangled snakes since he's been in this administration, and he's living in D.C. now. Right. How is this man running into so many snakes? And I honestly am starting to feel like they're being placed someplace for him to ran. I mean, when is the last time you ran into a snake?
A
It's. It's. It's really unlikely. I agree. It feels a little bit like when Richie Rich goes fishing. You know what I mean?
C
Well, I don't know what you're talking about.
A
There's a lot of fish in that pond.
C
Okay. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. And it just like what you're just out at. Is he at Dr. Oz's house?
A
I don't know where he is.
C
I don't know either, but it's cement, right? It's like he's.
A
I'm glad you're raising this, because I had the same thought, which I thought I really did see the. And I immediately. My brain just went staged. Staged Snakes.
C
Snake.
A
Staged. Fake snakes. It's a snake fake.
C
Oh, you should get bumper stickers made
A
that say, that keep honking, I'm faking a snake thing. Hey, what do you think about the new White House UFC arena?
C
I like it. It's gonna be, are these quick takes or hot takes? What is this?
A
Whatever you want.
C
I just learned what hot takes were today.
A
That's just a strongly Felt opinion, I suppose.
C
Yeah.
A
But a quick take is just exactly what it sounds like.
C
I like it. I really like what they're doing.
A
I think the quicker and hotter, the better. But it does. But there's no. It could be hot. It could be quick. Could be quick and hot. I don't think it should be neither quick nor hot. I think a lukewarm long take is probably not what we're aiming for, but other than that, really kind of the world your oyster.
C
I would like to see Bobby fighting. Doing a snake thing in there.
A
Hey. The New York Times published an article called Being Straight is Great actually. And that was. They changed the headline to there's nothing wrong with wanting Men. Agree or disagree.
C
It's complicated for me. I have to be honest. How are you?
A
I think there's nothing wrong with wanting men. And I think also there's nothing.
C
And is that romantic?
A
But they're different.
C
Yeah, it's romantically wanting a man.
A
Yeah. To romantically want a man. I think that, like, if you want a man to pick you up at the airport, I think nobody has a problem with that. And that's not really part of the discourse. I think it's more about having a kind of long term sexual and romantic attachment to a man.
C
Yeah.
A
The article is sort of delving at.
C
Yeah, I think there's nothing wrong with wanting men.
A
Yeah, I agree.
C
Yeah.
A
Have you heard of the term slam pig?
C
Because of this show.
A
You have heard of it?
C
No, Truly? Because the producer told me.
A
Oh, of this show. Not Rhode Island Housewives. Bill told you about Slam Pigs?
C
Yeah. Do you. Would you imagine I watch Rhode island slam pics?
A
No, no. The show is Real Housewives Rhode Island. It's not called Rhode Island Slam Pigs, which, by the way, is a great name for a show. Boy. Boy would. Boy. Is there money to be made in a show called Rhode Island Slam Pigs?
C
I would be curious to watch it for sure. But for sure, not much grabs my attention with television. But one time, Stephanie and I were in a hotel room and she said, let's watch something. And she was flipping through. And the one thing I chimed in about, I said, wait, wait, wait. Go back, go back. What was that? A wagon. And she went back and it wasn't a wagon. And she was like, what did you think it was gonna be? Or what were you wanting? And I said, honestly, I was hoping it was like information about the history of wagons. And that was truly something that I would have watched. Why are you shaking your head?
A
I'm just imagining that. I just Feel like I'm not sure there's much of a difference for Stephanie between traveling with you and traveling with like a Victorian ghost. Like, ostensibly. I think those are basically the same experiences. You're like. You have to be like. You're not totally tracking technology or anything. It is totally plausible that Stephanie could be alone and talking to you as a ghost and everybody. It would be the same. I think it would look basically the same. You know what I'm saying?
C
I'm gonna have to let her know you said that. Yeah. But Slam pigs. I just am grateful that there is now a name for the kind of summers I've been having. Because it's a Slam Pig summer. Right?
A
Slam Pig summer.
C
Yeah.
A
Is that. And you're just.
C
I've been having slam pig summers my whole life.
A
Wow. That's.
C
I just didn't know it was called that.
A
Right.
C
Yeah.
A
For you. What is that? You know, what's the Slam Pig summer to you, Tig Notaro?
C
I just like to get my body ready for the summer and then I like to wear a bikini, you know, And I just sunbathe a lot and I wrestle.
A
Uh huh.
C
What else is there to do?
A
That's it. You got it.
C
Yeah.
A
That's what a slam pig in Rhode Island.
C
I spend my summers in Rhode island.
A
And then the broth is just clear. That's the thing.
C
Exactly.
A
That's how you know it's a Rhode island slam pig summer. Because you're in a bikini, you're getting tanned, you're having chowder, but it's clear Rhode Island.
C
What would you think if you saw me in a bikini sunbathing?
A
It's sort of. I don't know, it'd be sort of like seeing Donald Trump in a musical or Donald Trump. You know what I mean? It's just like sort of. Boy, that's out of that. Seems something must have. There must be a reason, but I don't know what it is.
C
Tig Slam Piggin.
A
Tim's Tig Slam Piggin. Tim Slam Piggin. And by the way, if you want to see Tig Slam Pig in other contexts, check out the Handsome podcast.
C
That's right.
A
Tig will be in Albany on June 4, Spokane on June 12, Colorado Springs July 16, and Calgary on Aug. 30. Bringing that slam Pig energy to Canada.
C
That's right. It's a Slam Pig summer.
A
Yeah. Slam pig, eh? How do you think this went?
C
I'm ready to get started.
A
And we'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's More of Love it or leave it. Coming up. Love it or leave it is brought to you by Zazzle. You know that feeling when you're three days out from someone's birthday and you have no idea what to get, and then you end up with something generic that you're not even sure they'll like? That's where Zazzle comes in to save the day. Zazzle is a custom marketplace where you can take basically any product. A mug, a tote bag, a card, a phone case, and make it personal to you or someone you love. Browse millions of designs or start from scratch and build something completely on your own. Either way, you're the designer. Everything is made to order, so you never have to worry about an item being out of stock. Pick it, customize it. Done. Over 30 million customers have trusted Zazzle with their most important gifts. Yours is next. Right now, save 25% on your first order@zazzle.com that's 25% on your first order@Zazzle.com. go make something Zamazing. Well, all right, we'll keep pitching on that. Zazzle.com the Farm City Pro Rodeo has raised the bar again. $60,000 in added money per amend, solidifying Hermiston's place as top 15 paying rodeo in the PRCA. New this year, Saturday night's performance will be a true championship round, guaranteeing you get to see the best of the best in one place on one night. Tickets go on sale June 1, and they will go fast. Visit Farm CityPro Rodeo.com for tickets and more information. Experience the action. Feel the history of the Farm city pro rodeo. August 12th through the 15th. And we're back. Please welcome to the stage. She appeared at a doctor documentary called Anxiety Club, and now I'm anxious. I wasn't asked to join. It's a part in Oncherla. Hi. Good to see you.
C
Hi, Aparna. There's your seat.
B
Thank you so much.
A
Hi, Aparna. Good to see you.
B
Good to see you both.
A
So you're in a documentary about anxiety, huh?
B
I am.
C
About.
B
It's about comedians with anxiety.
A
I wouldn't want to belong to a club that would make me feel scared. Are you in the anxiety club?
B
I am. I'm an official member.
A
That's cool. When I first did therapy, my therapist said, do you think you might have chronic anxiety? And I said, no, that's ridiculous. And she said, all right, well, describe how it feels to move through the world. And then I did. And she said, that's terrible anxiety. And she's Like, I think we have to figure out why you don't understand how you feel all the time and why your brain is not connected to your body because you're anxious 24 hours a day and you just think that's what normal is. And I was like, bitch, that's also
B
how I go through therapy.
A
Yeah.
B
Yeah. I just. I sit there and then occasionally I go, bitch. We might have similar types of anxiety.
A
Well, the last time I was in therapy, I was anxious because I wasn't. I was. It was, like, early, and I was dating Ari, and I was, like, really anxious that it wasn't going to work out.
B
Yeah.
A
And then I. Then I texted my therapist a picture of us getting married, because I haven't seen her in the years since because I've been so busy.
C
Whoa.
B
So you got into a relationship, broke up with your therapist, basically, or ghosted.
A
We're not broken up. We're just sort of taking a break for indefinitely. I don't need therapy. I don't need it. I don't need it. What do you need it?
B
What are you basing that on?
A
I got it all figured out, okay?
C
He had clowns at his wedding.
B
Oh, well, that's. Yeah, that's a sign you've kind of evolved to the next plane.
A
Yeah. Hey, you said you wish you could do stand up to no audience.
B
Yeah, that's my main problem with stand up, that there's an audience.
A
Oh, yeah. But then how do you know how to feel about yourself if you're not getting the validation from outside?
B
I think I just. I will assume it's going fine. I think if I could just remove the fact that there are strangers there, that would be helpful. But I don't mean I want to perform for friends and family. I. I just. There's something about other people there that's always been my main hang up with stand up, and I think that's why people are sometimes upset that I do it.
A
Tig, do you like having a crowd, or would you rather do it just sort of in a white box?
C
Good question. Thank you, John. One time, I did perform for no people.
B
Didn't you do a tour that was just, like, people's living rooms?
C
Well, I did that too, but let's keep that a secret, okay? Okay. I did a college. I did Pepperdine College, and I showed up to the student center. No one else did. And the people that booked me, I said, so what do we do? And they said, you have to do your material. So I sat down with my mic and just told the woman who booked me, I was like, so I was at the grocery store and did that for an hour to get my check. So I guess there was one person there, but not a single person.
B
That's almost like she was a dictator, because that seems like what a dictator would do. Like bring me my favorite stand up.
C
Exactly.
B
Do your thing.
C
Bring me this unknown person we booked at a very low rate to fulfill our budget.
A
You know what that sounds like, though? It sounds like what a clown would have done. You know,
B
Dead on. Dead on noise.
A
Wow, that's really good. It's like a clown's here.
C
Yeah.
A
For the listeners at home. No clown.
B
Fa.
A
Fa. You were saying?
B
I was saying college gigs are notoriously difficult.
C
Yes.
B
I remember I did a college gig where when I got there, the poster for the show said free chicken nuggets. And then my name in tiny letters at the bottom. And I was like, yeah, the chicken nuggets are the draw. That's how you.
C
And when we had our comedy duo, we were also. The chicken nuggets.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Free chicken nuggets. Was the improv group opening for me.
C
Yeah.
A
What have you learned about anxiety that you wish you had known earlier in
B
your life that it never ends?
A
Oh, well, that seems like.
B
How would you answer that? That's a tough one.
C
He doesn't have it.
A
Yeah, I don't have it.
B
Oh, that's true.
A
Not a problem. I would say two things. I'm thinking about it. One thing I would. I would definitely say is I. I definitely, like, had people in my life that have, like, moments of really acute anxiety where they're, like, really, like, really struggling. And there's like a culture around, and I think it's for good reason. People are, like, really reluctant to, like, take thing, like chemicals to deal with their problems, which I think is a good instinct in general. But, like, I think that there are certain times, like, when people are suffering, it's like, hey, if you're having, like an anxiety attack, take a thing, just get it. Get the emotions that deal with the thing quickly and then, like, focus on what caused it. But I think sometimes people kind of like, you know, like, white knuckle through terrible experiences. And I don't think that's a good idea.
B
Well, I know there are comedians who are also like, I don't want to take, you know, antidepressants because I think then I won't be as funny if I'm not depressed. Which is really interesting theory.
A
You don't think there's any truth to that.
B
Well, I think it makes it seem like your pain is the only reason that you're able to create or something. And I don't think that's necessarily true.
C
I'm on your side.
B
That's my hot take. Ting.
C
I know what that means.
A
In your special hopeful potatoes, you talk about seeing your Wikifeet entry and seeing that your feet have mid ratings.
B
Yeah.
A
So we blur them out. Those are your blurred feet. They have a 2.78.
B
But you know what's weirder? I don't. When I saw that photo, because I first saw it, it was shown to me at some show I agreed to do. And then they whipped this out after I did my set. And I don't think those are my feet.
C
Wait, where would they have got, like. I don't know.
B
I've never done footwork.
C
I can't picture you ever being in a situation outside of your house barefoot.
B
Yeah, exactly.
C
I mean, I know you well enough to know you're gonna put your shoes on.
B
Yeah. Yeah.
C
What the hell's that?
B
I don't know.
A
So you don't even think these are your feet?
B
I think they're deep fakes.
A
Now, we did look into this, and, Tig, you have a much higher rating on this website.
C
Also blurred them out. There I am with your.
A
We blurred. We blurred them just to protect your identity. You have a.
C
Those are actually at Parnas Feet.
A
Now, the team also discovered that John and Jon Favreau has a high rating, as does Tommy Vitor. Whoa.
B
4.95.
A
They're getting great ratings for these feet. I am not on Wikifeet. I'll tell you someone who is. Jeffrey Epstein.
B
Wow. I edged out Epstein.
A
You're doing better than Epstein. I want you to read the comments. These are the comments on Jeffrey Epstein's WikiFeet. This is a wiki about feet, not about judgments. What he did or didn't do isn't the deciding factor, period. The eligibility criteria are described. And no, that's not debatable to argue
B
a site where you rate feet is not about judgments is patently.
A
Well, it's not about judgments outside of the feet. They separate the art from the artist.
B
Okay.
A
Basically. Boy, I'll tell you something. Speaking of feet, walk. Don't run to Aparna's new animated series. Kevin, applaud me.
B
Wow.
A
You play a gross cat.
B
I play a gross. Yeah, a gross kitten. A sickly kitten.
A
But, Tig, you're also in it.
C
Oh, yes.
A
Do you play a cat?
B
I don't remember most Characters on the show are animals, so you're probably either a cat or some other creature.
A
Hey, if you don't want to perform in front of people doing animated stuff, seems like it might be right up your alley.
B
I love it.
A
Because you're in a little booth, you're
B
in a little cave. You don't have to look at anyone. You just have your cans on, and you can just inhabit your little world and be a little kitten on the brink of death.
A
Any other thoughts about being anxious?
B
I think I would say one thing that's interesting about anxiety, because you guys were talking about snakes earlier and how
C
they're there because somebody places them there.
B
Because someone places them there. And anxiety is actually an adaptive trait. It's like when our ancestors. Ancestors were trying to figure out, is that a stick or is that a snake? So I think maybe anxiety is still around because of RFK Jr.
C
When are you least anxious?
B
Ooh, great question.
C
Thank you. Somebody has to have them.
A
Now I'm feeling what I think is anxiety. I'm not sure. I've never experienced it before. First time for everything.
B
I have to say a time that I do feel at peace, and sorry to be vulgar, but right after I take a poop, I do feel at peace because it feels like there's a release. I did my job. Nothing else is expected of me. No one is gonna rate me.
C
Wow, that's a leap.
B
And I can check it off. Yeah.
C
Now, this is the second time I've heard about your poop.
B
Really?
C
Well, not yours. You were going to rent an apartment in your bit, and then they were like, the one thing is, you can't poop in this apartment. You have to take your poop out in a bag. Let's go to commercial.
A
Wait, you had to take your poop out in a bag?
B
I saw an apartment in New York where they were like, everything's fine, but the toilet, you cannot poop in it.
C
That's not a good sign. When they start out with, listen, everything's fine.
A
I just. First of all, how do they know?
C
Well, because apparently it'll probably explode.
A
But it can't even handle a classic poop. That's what they're. They've been.
C
What about a loose stool?
A
Yeah, what about a loose stool?
B
What do you mean, what about a loose stool?
C
Well, it's poop, but it's loose. Like it's diarrhea.
A
It gotta be fine. It's gotta be fine.
B
Well, I think it was also that. It was. When I walked in, it was clearly just like, an Ikea showroom.
C
Mmm.
B
So nothing was actually hooked up to anything.
A
Oh well, that would also be a problem for peeing. One would think.
C
Yes.
B
Yeah. They would have been like, you can poop in there, but it's just gonna kind of keep piling.
C
But are you still living there?
A
We'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Chime. Chime is changing the way people bank. They offer the most rewarding fee free banking built for you, not the 1%. They're not like traditional old bank charge you overdraft and monthly fees. They have thousands of fee free ATMs because why pay to get your own money? Chime members can benefit from up to $1,150 in annual rewards fee free. Get 5% cash back on Chime Card. In a category of your choice like gas or groceries, you get savings that grow faster with a 3.75% APY. That's 9% higher than the national average. Plus you get premium travel perks like airport lounge access and 24. 7 travel concierge included with your Chime Card. They also have Spot Me which lets you overdraft up to $200 fee free. Chime is rated 5 stars by USA Today for customer service. Real Humans 24, 7 Chime is not just smarter banking. It's the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. Head to chime.comloveit that's chime.com love it. It only takes a few minutes to sign up. Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services for MyPay and Chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Optional products and services may have fees or charges. Stated annual percentage yield and cash back for Chime prime only. No minimum balance required. Checking account ranking Based on a JD Power surve October 20, 2025 for more information on APY rates, my pay, Spot Me and travel perks go to chime.com disclosures. And we're back. Aparna yes, in honor of your Wikifeet beat, we're going to put our foot knowledge to the test in the lightning round we're calling foot traffic. I'm going to show you and take a pair of feet and you're going to guess whose feet they are. And I will reveal if you are right. Some of them are feet from the news this week. Some of them are classic feet from pop culture. Are you ready?
B
We're supposed to figure out whose feet.
A
That's right. First up, whose feet are these?
C
Fred Flynn's.
A
You got him. There he is.
B
South ball.
C
Anything after the seventies, I won't know.
A
Three toes.
B
Yeah, he's always had three.
A
Next up, whose feet are these?
C
Oh, that's John Travolta.
B
What?
A
Get it.
B
How did you know that?
C
I don't know if that is. Oh, is it?
A
No.
C
How did I not know that?
A
How would she have. How could she have known?
B
How would she know that?
A
I will say this. It is something. It is a photo that is very recent and it is of someone who has revealed a new quote. Cuntilicious Look.
C
Oh, Miley Cyrus.
A
No.
B
Oh, cuntal licious.
A
And I will say it includes a.
C
Is it me?
B
Martha Stewart?
A
Wouldn't you know if you. First of all, could you imagine Martha Stewart in wide leg pants? Inconceivable. It's Susan Boyle.
C
What? No.
A
Yes. She's have. She's done. She has a new look. Boyle's back. And she's got the. She's got a. The what? What is, I think, known colloquially as a cunty bob. I love.
B
I love this for her. Do you remember Susan Boyle?
C
Yeah.
B
Yeah.
C
That's why I guessed it correctly.
A
But no. Okay, so next up.
B
Wow.
A
Whose feet are these? Look at those. My goodness.
C
That's Jill Biden.
A
That's Jill Biden. Show me Jill Biden. Nope, It's Lady Gaga. But the.
C
That's Lady Gaga.
A
That's Lady Gaga. Let's go to these.
C
You still got it, kid.
A
What?
C
Oh, yeah, that's Bigfoot. Big feet. Big feet.
A
Big feet.
C
That's big feet.
B
I didn't even see where the foot started.
A
Any guesses? I'll give you a hint. The White House posted a picture of this creature this week.
B
Are you seeing feet?
C
I think I see one. There's feet with a mushroom growing through its toes.
B
Okay. Yeah.
C
Okay. But then it also looks like there's a club foot on the other side. Looks like a foot and then a club foot.
A
It's Harambe.
B
Whoa. Okay, that's a foot and a knee.
A
You're right. But it's at least one foot.
B
But he's looking good. He could still get it.
A
Well, he died. He died in 2011.
B
He could still get it.
A
Died in 2011. And the White House inexplicably posted on the anniversary of Harambe's death. Next up.
C
Oh, yeah, Shrek.
A
You got it. It's Shrek.
C
And why aren't we rating these Feet.
A
Well, what do you want to give this? What do you want to give Shrek's feet?
C
Two farts down.
B
Yeah.
A
Well, this went great. We'll be right back. And we're back. And now for our favorite, where we take a loving stroll through everything I said or did this evening and decide whether or not I regret it in a segment we call Second Thoughts. And Tiggin Apart. I would love to hear any second thoughts you have about this evening. Okay, whenever you're ready. But I'll take us through a few first. I told arsonists to at least enjoy it. Oh, Tig, I'm sorry I compared lesbians to Goldendoodles.
C
I didn't notice.
A
I revealed too much about the Born In Clown memo.
C
I didn't notice.
A
FA FA FA FA FA FA FA fa. Hey, Tig, the producers want to know if you have any second thoughts about referring to the free holes at the orgies.
C
I have deep regret over that. It's private. People should have their privacy with the orgies. And I apologize that I even brought this into this respectable conversation we've been having.
A
Oh, I also lied about not needing therapy.
B
I think we tracked it.
A
I shouldn't have shown Tommy and John's feed scores because I hurt my own feelings. Stop it. Do you have any regrets, Aparna?
B
Yeah, I'm sort of embarrassed I ghost wrote that op ed there's nothing wrong with wanting men. But I'm glad you guys gave it a shout.
A
People were mad that the Times ran that right before Pride. And it's like, who cares?
B
Yeah, but also they kind of clickbaited it. Cause the full line was, there's nothing wrong with wanting men to exist.
A
Too much poop talk.
C
Maybe not enough.
B
Not enough.
C
I enjoy poop talk.
A
Me, too.
C
I guess it's my biggest regret is that we didn't get deeper into it.
A
Yeah. I always find that. That people are reluctant to talk about pooping. But you know what? Everybody does it. And if you bring it up, there's a moment where people kind of look around just like, this is allowed. We can talk about poop at this restaurant. And you can. And then everybody's having a great time.
B
And you know when people are like, sorry to shit talk, and then they say something about some peer, you know, you're like, I was ready to talk about shit.
C
Yeah, I've seen you in that situation before.
B
Yeah. And you see how angry I get.
A
This show's over. I'm gonna end it right now. Is that okay?
C
I'm fine.
A
Any final thoughts?
C
No, no, I don't have any.
B
I don't have time to get into it.
A
And that is our show. Thank you so much. To Dignitar and Apart in onturla. There are 152 days until the midterms. We'll be back on Friday with Todd Glass and we will see you later this week. Love it or Leave it is a crooked media production. Our show is produced by Kendra James, Bill McGrath, Kelsey Gante and me, John Lovett. Our production team includes Hallie Kiefer, Sarah Lazarus, David Towles, Claudia Shang, Jay Banks, Gavin Purcell and Magic Rote. And our staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.
This lively episode of Lovett or Leave It tackles the latest political gossip, the challenges and absurdities of campaign scandals, and the ever-present anxiety of modern life—all with Jon Lovett’s signature blend of sharp wit and self-deprecation. The main focus is a deep dive into the scandal swirling around Maine Senate candidate Graham Platner, contextualized within the wider problem of Democratic insecurity and “loser mentality.” Lovett is joined by comedians Tig Notaro and Aparna Nancherla, who provide their own comedic takes on marriage, social media, and mental health.
| Time | Segment / Topic | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:39 | Opening monologue: Maine Senate scandal, Platner's red flags | | 06:00 | Democrats' loser mentality & Senate strategy | | 08:15 | Ken Paxton and Republican scandals | | 15:29 | Tig Notaro joins – wedding stories, queer seating charts | | 19:29 | Clown memo & wedding clowns explained | | 22:16 | Tig and Lovett discuss social media and Met Gala drama | | 25:06 | "Take Takes" – hot takes on pop culture and politics | | 33:52 | Aparna Nancherla joins – therapy, anxiety, comedians | | 40:02 | Wikifeet segment – celebrity feet guessing game | | 43:09 | Discussion of anxiety as evolutionary benefit | | 50:02 | “Second Thoughts” – reflections and playful regrets |
The episode is a sharp, self-aware critique of both the national Democratic psyche and the way modern life produces anxiety and absurdity in equal measure. Lovett’s tone is irreverent yet incisive, keeping proceedings light even as he insists on the gravity of practical politics (“a means to an end”). The chemistry with comedic guests makes for a rich, funny, and revealing discussion on the intersection of public scandal, private lives, and the minor tragedies of being very online.
For listeners: Expect savvy political commentary, crowd-pleasing queer wedding banter, and plenty of laugh-out-loud moments about feet, clowns, and the universal experience of anxiety.
| Speaker | Classic Lines & Moments | |-----------------|---------------------------------------------| | Jon Lovett | Marriage jokes, Platner monologue, loss riff| | Tig Notaro | Wedding seating, "slam pig summer," clowns | | Aparna Nancherla| Therapy comedy, Wikifeet, poop-anxiety |
End of Summary – Listen for the foot game, stay for the clown memo confession!